Required Reading Part One:
"Arms up. That way you can block attacks to your face and your head while always keeping your eyes on your enemy." I called out critically from the side of the room, keeping my eyes locked on the petite strawberry blonde as she danced out of reach and her attacker grinned to himself as she quickly went on the defensive, striking him in the stomach with her fists.
All of the furniture in Jordan's apartment had been pushed to the side of the room so that a large area of the floor was clear for training and I sat on top of the table near the window, my legs crossed underneath me as I watched the humans play fight. It was kind of entertaining, watching Lydia Martin physically fighting someone without a shoe sale as motivation and without a care whether or not she broke one of her perfectly manicured nails. It was certainly a change from the girl she was freshman year.
"Ready?" Jordan asked her teasingly with a grin as he held his hands up in front of him and Lydia nodded determinedly as she bounced on her toes in anticipation. I leaned back on my hands with a grin, my eyes tracking the movements of their bodies as if they were in slow motion. It took a few minutes for him to land a stunning blow to her side and she stumbled backwards with a wince, holding up a hand to admit defeat.
"What did you do wrong?" he asked her pointedly in a kind tone, not patronising but deceptively supportive as he raised an eyebrow at her questioningly and she sighed heavily with a disappointed frown marring her lips.
"I forgot to keep my arms up." she answered tiredly with a touch of exasperation in her voice and he nodded in acknowledgement with a small smile on his lips.
"Right. But don't worry. Your muscles have memory. With enough practice, they'll remember for you."
I could read the obvious disappointment in her green eyes as she rubbed the sweat off of her forehead and I sat upright as I offered her an encouraging smile, "It's all right. You're not going to be perfect after only a few tries."
If looks could kill, the glare that she aimed in my direction would have caused me to keel over so I cringed away from her with a grimace but didn't take it to heart because I knew it was frustrating for her to be the only one except Stiles without the ability to heal.
"I'm okay. Keep going." Lydia insisted firmly after a moment of controlling her panting breath and I cast a quick glance down at the side of her abdomen where I knew her workout jacket covered her bandages from surgery.
"You sure? Maybe we should stop after a few." Jordan told her gently as he relaxed his defensive posture with a small smile and she looked honestly baffled by his suggestion as she frowned at him in confusion.
"Why?"
"I don't want to get your stitches to get un-stitched."
A disgruntled frown grew on her lips as she narrowed her eyes at him and she huffed indignantly as she yanked down the zipper of her jacket, shrugging her arms out of the sleeves to reveal to bandaged abdomen. "They're fine. See? No blood."
Jordan sighed in exasperation as he tilted his head to the side with a knowing look and she raised both of her perfectly manicured eyebrows challenging, daring him to defy her word. He rolled his eyes subtly at her attitude with a small upturn of his lips and shot me a questioning look, asking my opinion on the matter.
"Lyds, we have to be at school in half an hour." I reminded her casually as I jumped down from the table gracefully and she pursed her lips in annoyance as she turned her steely glare in my direction. "If you want to shower, you should go now."
"Fine." Lydia snapped shortly as she spun around on her heel, strawberry blonde hair swaying from her ponytail and she roughly grabbed her gym bag from the floor as she passed before disappearing down the hallway towards the bathroom.
I ran a frustrated hand over my face as I groaned out loud and I heard Jordan laughing at me quietly so I opened my eyes at glare at him light-heartedly. He held his hands up in mock surrender but didn't stop chuckling as he grabbed a towel from the couch and I narrowed my eyes at him thoughtfully as he rubbed the sweat off his face.
I stripped out of my cardigan without taking my gaze off of him, the sweat glistening on his skin as my eyes intently watched the movement of his muscles and I crossed the room to stand in front of him. I quickly grabbed one end of the towel in his hand, twisting it around to wrap around his wrist and he gaped at me in surprise but I didn't let that faze me as I tugged him towards me. His body jerked forward at the sudden move as he reached to stabilise himself by grabbing my hip but I spun out of his reach as I let go of the towel and he fell onto the floor on his stomach. I quickly grabbed his shoulder to turn him over onto his back and straddled his hips as I circled my hands around his wrists before pinning them above his head.
The hard muscles of his stomach tensed underneath me as he opened his eyes with a faint smile on his lips and I smirked arrogantly as I leaned over him, my loose brunette hair creating a curtain spreading us from the world.
"Nice move." Jordan stated in a breathless voice as his green eyes twinkled with mirth and I grinned widely as I shrugged my shoulders modestly even though I knew it was effectively. "You know, I thought it would be a lot hard to get you on top of me."
A laugh escaped me as I threw my head back slightly in amusement and I let go of his wrists as I sat up straighter but didn't get off of him. He drew his back down, resting his hand on my hips for lack of other places to put them and I noticed his eyes darken when they scanned the exposed skin where the skirt of my dress had risen on my thigh. I bit my lower lip as his fingers ghosted over the skin, almost like he was transfixed with the sight of the bare skin and I didn't mind the feel of his calloused hands slowly moving upwards, never going further than what was already on display.
"You know, I've never seen you actually flirting with me. Unless you have been, in which case, you kind of suck because I never noticed." I murmured jokingly with a smile playing on my lips as I rested my hands on his chest to keep myself balanced and he turned his attention away from my leg to meet my eyes with a smirk.
"I'm subtle with my flirting. It's a marathon, not a sprint." He countered in the same light-hearted tone as he cocked an eyebrow at me and I hummed in acknowledgement with a mocking expression on my face. "Oh, you want obvious, tacky, clichéd flirting?"
"Absolutely. I'm nothing if not an obvious, tacky, cliché kind of girl."
"Alright. Ready? Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile."
"Ooh! I got one. You ready? On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need."
Jordan chuckled in amusement as his eyes lit up with happiness and I couldn't help giggling along with him as I felt his stomach muscle vibrate underneath from his laughter. My stomach tightened with the familiar sensation of lust as I gaze down at his handsome feature and I subconsciously shifted my weight as he quickly settled his hands on my hips to keep me from moving.
My gaze shot to meet his, my breath quickening when I saw the undeniable desire in his eyes and he slowly started to sit up as his hands slid around to rest on the small of my back. My hands glided over his chest, caressing the sweaty skin of his collarbone with my thumb until they rested on either side of his neck and I could feel his pulse racing under my touch as he gaze flickered all over my face. My chest was pressed lightly against his now that he was sitting up and I could feel his warm breath on the side of my neck, causing a shiver of anticipation to rush through me.
"This isn't a good idea." I whispered in an almost nervous tone, my voice wavering slightly with need and one of his hands tightened its hold on my back as the other reached up to cup the side of my neck. His thumb caressed the underside of my jaw, his eyes following the movement like he couldn't believe it was happening and I found myself mesmerised by the enthralled glint in his eyes as I focused my attention on his lips. "But I want to so bad."
My confession was cut short the pressure of his thumb gently grazing my lower lip, stealing the words from my mouth and my hands slid down to rest on his broad shoulders as I bit down on my lower lip to stop from whimpering at the friction between our bodies. I could feel the heat radiating off him, the small space between us filled with so much electric tension it was almost vibrating and that only added to the anticipation.
Everything inside of me wanted to close the distance, to crush my lips against his, to tangle my fingers in his short brown hair, to taste the sweat dripping down his chest, to feel his muscles tighten underneath me.
One of Jordan's hands slipped down underneath my knee, slowly pulling my leg higher around his hip and I gasped quietly at the friction I felt when his pants rubbed my bare skin. The callouses on his hands kept me grounded in the moment as he carefully glided up my thigh to the hem of my dress and our eyes stayed locked on the others, almost challenging to see who would be the first to break contact.
Somewhere in the back of the apartment, I heard the rhythmic sound of water running stop and I remembered that Lydia was taking a shower only a few doors away. I tore my gaze away from his heated green eyes, snapping my head to look at the empty doorway even though I knew she was still locked in the bathroom. I abruptly stood up, aware of what she would think if she walked in to find us in that positon and Jordan's hands fell from my body as I stepped over him carefully. He collapsed backwards with his hands covering his face as his pulse raced uncontrollably and I tried to regulate my breathing so that it didn't seem like I was about to hyperventilate.
I heard him laugh sudden, the sound slightly muffled by his hands over his face and I turned around to look at him with an eyebrow quirked in question. An indignant frown touched the corner of my lips as I narrowed my eyes at him and I couldn't help asking myself why he was laughing – was it relief that he felt nothing in an intimate situation with me, or pleasure that I had shown some sort of reciprocation of his feelings?
"Should I be more curious or offended by the fact that you're laughing?" I asked him in a forced casual tone as I walked over to grab my cardigan so that I didn't have to look at him and I heard him climbing to his feet behind me as I focused on the wall in front of me.
A startled gasp escaped me as I was suddenly spun around by the elbow and I opened my mouth to protest but he grabbed my waist, lifting me up to sit on the tabletop. My hands flew to rest on his shoulders for balance as he settled in between my legs and a scolded scowl played on her lips as she narrowed her eyes at his smug smirk.
"I was laughing because even though you just kicked my ass and we didn't do anything remotely gratifying, it made me incredibly happy." He answered softly with an earnest expression as his hands gently ran the length of my bare thighs and I was taken aback by the sincerity in his eyes when he looked at me.
It was so easy for him to voice his feelings, it was alarming how insecure and vulnerable he could make me feel with only a few words and no one had ever been able to leave me short of breath with their honesty. My last two relationships had been with hard headed stubborn males, emotionally distant and removed from their own feelings, and I had been fine with that because I was the same, I could relate and I loved that they didn't push me to talk about my feelings so I returned the favour.
Jordan wasn't like that, he wasn't detached or separated from his own emotions – he knew what he felt and what he wanted to do with them. It was change of pace for me, a bewildering experience and I was metaphorically holding on for dear life as he seemed to gently guide me forward into acceptance.
There were a lot of feelings I had with Jordan that I was familiar with, things that I had experienced with Aiden and Derek – lust, happiness, contentment, confusion. But there was one thing that I was feeling that hadn't been there before, even though Aiden was a member of a murderous rival pack and Derek was a mysterious, damaged ex-alpha, one thing that made me pause more than anything else before jumping head first into the unknown – I was frightened.
"Yeah, well, I kinda…sorta…maybe…definitely…like you way more than I originally planned." I admitted quietly as I slid my hands up to wrap around his neck and his smile was almost blinding as he settled his hands on my hips.
The atmosphere between us electrified as I leaned towards him with a slight upturn of my lips and he bent down to meet me halfway but the sound of the bathroom door slamming interrupted us before we could make contact.
"Okay, my eyes are covered and I hope that you are too!" I heard Lydia call out from the hallway, causing me to jerk away from him slightly as I detangled my arms from around his neck and we both looked towards the doorway as my best friend carefully walking in with her hand over her eyes.
"My mom's book club usually has more wine." Lydia remarked drily with her arms crossed over her chest as she looked around at the group assembled in my living room and I walked in from the kitchen just in time to hear her complaint. A smirk played on my lips as I set an opened bottle of red wine down on the table and three empty glasses, the clinking alerting the others of my presence in the room.
"Sophie, where did you get that?" Scott asked in exasperation, a heavy sigh escaping him like he knew he shouldn't have been surprised and I smiled innocently in response as I poured some of the burgundy liquid into one of the glasses.
"Who cares? Give me!" my best friend cried eagerly as she wriggled her fingers at me, silently demanding that I hand over the first glass and I smirked at her as I let her take it without complaint.
"Anyone else? Kira?" I asked her with a quirked eyebrow as I poured another glass of wine and the kitsune smiled nervously as she shook her head negatively at the question. I shrugged my shoulders indifferently as I poured another glass and took them as I strolled into the living room, handing one over to Theo when I walked passed him.
"Well, they also probably didn't read books that cause violent hallucinations." Stiles quipped sarcastically, recalling what Lydia said previously about her mother's book club and I threw myself backwards onto one of the armchairs, carefully keeping my glass still so that it didn't spill on me.
"That's why Malia's here." Scott assured everyone soothingly as he flicked through one of the photocopied versions of the book and I took a sip of my wine as I folded my legs underneath me.
"So none of us go running into traffic?"
"Or worse."
"Like what happened to Judy." I interjected knowingly in a vague voice as I nodded along with my own words and I noticed that everyone was looking at me in confusion so I raised my glass in salute as I clarified, "Chapter 14."
"You've already finished it?" Theo asked curiously with a raised eyebrow from the chair opposite me and I shrugged my shoulders without answering, opting instead to take another mouth of wine.
"Maybe I should have my mother read it. She might remember a girl with a tail leaping off the ceiling and attacking everyone." Lydia said solemnly as she took one of the copies off the table with a sigh and collapsed back on couch by the window, a distressed frown marring her lips.
"Yeah, if it works." Stiles muttered under his breath as he slumped down on the floor at her feet and I shot him an unamused look, silently urging him to have a little faith in the process.
"It has to."
"What's that mean?"
"I think I saw them during my surgery. When I look at the cover of the book... It's almost like..."
"A memory trying to surface." Theo interjected knowing with a peculiar glint in his eyes and I frowned in confusion as I mentally filed the observation away to deal with when I had a free moment to myself.
"Isn't that what Valack wanted when he wrote it?" Kira asked for clarification as she grabbed her own copy of The Dread Doctors from the table and sat down next to Scott on the couch, smiling slightly when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders instinctively.
"That's what he said, and he seemed truthful, but I wouldn't trust him a hundred percent." I cautioned her thoughtfully as I flipped through my version of the book, looking for the page in the second last chapter that I had marked earlier that afternoon.
"If they did something to me, I want to know what it is." The strawberry blonde stated determinedly with her eyebrows furrowed as she folded the page over and shifted on her seat to get comfortable, accidently kicking Stiles head in the process. He grimaced in pain as he jerked forward, rubbing the affected area with his hand and she winced sympathetically with an apologetic frown that he waved off dismissively.
I rolled my eyes at them before concentrating back on the text in front of me and took a leisurely sip of my wine as I tracked the words on the page with my eyes. Even though the reading material may end up causing violent hallucinations, it was nice to do something as mundane as curl up on the couch with a book and a glass of wine.
My cell phone vibrated on the coffee table in front of me and I leaned forward to grab it, setting my nearly empty wine glass in its place. Liam's name flashed on the screen as I placed my book open upside down on my lap and opened the text message from the sophomore, sighing quietly to myself while I read over the words.
Liam: Your friend Lachlan let me in Sinema. Hope its okay I namedropped you ?
Sophie: That's fine, hon. Why are you at Sinema?
Sophie: You're not stalking Hayden, are you?
Liam: NO! I owe her money for the other night. Remember?
Sophie: That's sweet. Buying her love… lol
Liam: Screw you…
Sophie: Let me know if you need a ride home 3 3
I grinned to myself as I clicked out of the conversation with the younger boy and dropped the phone on my lap haphazardly as I picked up the photocopy at the same time. I focused my attention on finishing the last chapter of the book, hanging on every word of the story I had become invested in. my eyes lingered on the last sentence as my eyebrows furrowed slightly at the open ended conclusion and I took a shuddering breath at the realisation that we were currently living the next chapter of the story.
"Anyone feel anything yet?" Scott asked tiredly some time later as he lifted his head from the papers in his hand and I was glad that someone had broken the silence that had settled over the group.
"Tired." Kira answered quietly with her head lolled to the side as she attempted to keep her eyes open and I couldn't help smiling slightly as she slowly blinked away the sleep that wanted to overtake her.
"Hungry." Lydia murmured under her breath without lifting her eyes from the book on her lap, her chin cradled in her hand as she rested her elbow on the armrest of the couch.
"Bored." I added with a heavy sigh as I set my copy of the book down on the coffee table and then stretched my arms over my head, clasping my hands together in the air as I stifled a yawn by clamping my lips shut.
"I think he meant the book." Theo scolded in a light tone with one of his eyebrows raised, a faint smirk playing on his lips as he looked around at us and I scrunched my nose up at him playfully in response as I dropped my arms back down. He chuckled slightly under his breath as he shook his head before turning his attention back to the book and I looked around the room, noticing that Malia and Stiles had disappeared. I decided not to question where they were, knowing that they were a couple and I was better off not knowing the answer.
The sound of my phone playing Barbie Girl by Aqua blared throughout the living room and everyone turned to look at me as I grabbed it off my lap with a cringe. I mouthed 'I'm sorry' to the group as I held it up to my ear while answering it and everyone went back to reading as I spoke softly into the phone, "Hello?"
"Hey, it's me." a familiar voice greeted me on the other end of the phone call and I froze immediately in shock as a chill went up my spine, my heart skipped a beat, my breath caught in my throat. Everything else in the room went blurry as I gripped the armchair cushion underneath me, my knuckles turning white under the pressure and I felt my eyes sting with tears as I covered my mouth with my hand.
"Oh, my god." I whispered quietly, my voice cracking with emotion as I dropped my hand limply onto my lap and I felt my brother looking at me in shock from the other side of the room but my focus was on the person on the other side of the line. "Ethan."
"Can we talk? I know – I know it's been a while."
"Of – of course. Just give me a second."
I stood up from the armchair, ignoring everyone's questioning eyes on me and Scott reached out to catch my hand when I walked past him. I paused for a second to offer him a small smile in an attempt to reassure him that I was okay and he nodded back with an upturn of his lips as he squeezed my hand supportively.
Pain coursed through my entire body, a numbing ache that never totally went away, but hearing Ethan's voice…hearing Aiden's voice…after all this time, it was agony. I couldn't imagine what it was like for Ethan to look in the mirror and see a carbon copy of his twin brother. I couldn't imagine what it was like to lose your twin brother at all, for them not to be there ever again and I didn't want to ever find out what it would be like to never see Scott again.
I shut the door to my bedroom behind me and took a breath to settle my nerves as I sat down on the edge of my bed. I closed my eyes tightly as I raised the phone back to my ear and I scooted back to rest against my pillows as I greeted him softly, "Hey. I'm back."
"Hey. I'm sorry I called out of the blue like this."
"You never have to apologise, Eth. I know that."
"I just – I – I don't know exactly. I've been travelling since I left Beacon Hills, but I've settled down in Portland now and I was downloading all of the photos off my phone. And there he was – staring back to me, that stupid smirk on his face. It all just hit me, I guess."
"I get that. I'll be going about my day, minding my own business, and then I'll hear something or see something, and suddenly I'm right back there in the moment. It will start all over again, just as painful as it was that night."
"I- um, I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to start over, how to not factor him into every decision I make, how to be my own person. Soph, I'm lost. I'm – I'm broken." He admitted with a choked sob at the end and I brought my knees up to my chest as tears streamed down my cheeks unrestrained.
"Then so am I." I told him honestly through my own discreet sniffles as I tried not to sob and he heard him trying to control himself on the other end of the phone call. "But you're stronger than you think, Ethan. And you have inside of you everything that you need to deal with anything the world throws at you."
"I'm not strong. I'm weak. I'm a coward. I accepted that a long time ago, Sophie." He said in a deadly serious tone of voice, a thread of certainty ringing in the statement and I took a shuddering breath as a wave of sympathy washed over me. Everything that the twins had been through, the humiliation and the torture from their first pack, the practical brainwashing from Deucalion, it had shaped them into something indistinguishable from real monsters. But their time with our pack, seeing a different approach to being a pack had reshaped them into heroes.
"We all have moments of weakness, Ethan. It's how we recover from them that really counts. And trust me, you've earned your forgiveness. You've earned the right to be called a hero." I assured him firmly as I wiped the tears from my cheek with the back of my hand and he choked out a chuckle but didn't argue with me on the matter even though it was clear he didn't entirely believe me.
"Sorry it's taken this long for me to call you, but I just – I needed some time on my own, to separate myself from the situation. But it was time. I know it's weird to call now after all this time, but, uh, maybe I wanted to talk to someone who loved him as much as I did. I do. I just – I feel empty without him."
"Maybe we feel empty because we leave pieces of ourselves with everyone we love. When he died, Aiden took a piece of you and a piece of me with him. So, he'll never truly be alone." I theorised out loud in a wistful tone as I rolled over onto my side, cuddling my pillow to my chest as I gazed at the photograph on my bedside table.
Aiden's brown eyes stared back at me, the mischievous glint that always seemed to be buried in their depths forever captured on film and a rare infectious grin spread across his lips instead of his usual confident smirk. His arms were wrapped around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder as I scrunched my nose up cutely in protest and my head turned towards him with a soft smile on my lips.
The time without him and Allison had taught me one lesson in particular: you never really stop missing someone you've lost, you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence.
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