Well, here we are, the grand moment. It's a lot of talking and I hope I did it justice!
Early December
The rest of the day was long and tiring, Olivia had stuck by me whenever she could, but all I wanted to do was go home. Hideaway from the inevitable that was soon to happen. I cried in the girl's washroom at lunchtime, I cried during history class to the point the teacher had excused me to go down to the school nurse. Mom had come in to check on me at one point. The rumours were running rampant around the hall, it was even worse than yesterday at this point. Kids had taken to once she was called Grandma in the halls, to which prompted detentions. What seemed like a lifetime, I finally picked up my backpack, as Olivia glared at anyone who tried to say a word to me.
My phone buzzes and I see his message.
I'm in the parking near the front door.
I look to Olivia for support, as I take a deep breath. My hormones threatening to make me cry once more. She hugs me, something I didn't know I needed until that moment.
"He wouldn't have driven all this way if he didn't mean to do right by this," Olivia reminds me.
I exhale as I grab my backpack and lifted my chin. I see him there waiting for me, leaning against his car despite the cold day. He was looking at his phone, but then he looks up, it takes him a minute to spot me. We walk slowly toward him, as I grasp Olivia's hand for support. I stop a few feet in front of him and I turn to Olivia who gave me a big hug and whispering she would stay if I didn't feel safe. I shake my head, I knew Ken, he would never hurt me.
"Text me when you can," She said and glanced at Ken with a bit of a grin. "At least you'll have a good-looking baby.
My mouth drops and I flush, as I'm sure that he heard her. She skips away leaving me as I fiddle with my backpack over my shoulder and walk up to him.
"Hey," I say quietly.
"Your hair is back to red," He observes as if he was still expecting it to be purple.
"So you really came here?" I ask him, thankful that my large jacket covered me at this moment.
"I had too," He states. "Come on, let's go to Tim Hortons and talk."
"I asked to talk to you months ago and you ignored me," I respond under my breath not wanting to get in the car just yet.
"What do you mean?" Ken turned to look at me as he unlocked his car. "Come on, I'm not letting you walk home in this weather."
"It's not even minus ten." I give him a look, which he returns as he points to the passenger side of the car. "I sent you a message when I found out and you never replied. It said you read it though."
"Do you really think I would ignore a message from you?" Ken asked me, giving me a look before I sigh and slide into the car. Not wanting to admit it was warmer than outside. He starts the car and pulls out, I find it strange he still knows his way around this place.
"I don't know! But you did!" I exclaim to him. "All I knew was I had no other form of contact."
"You could have asked Walter?" He turns to look at me before looking back at the road.
"Yes, because that would have been extremely strange. Hey Walter I need to talk to Kenneth Ford to let him know he's about to be a daddy." I roll my eyes. "Mom and Dad still haven't even told him. I haven't told, or I think I haven't I really don't know."
"He overheard you say something," Ken says a moment later. "We were well into our pints when he admitted what he thought he heard."
"Fair enough." I sigh and then we sat in silence until he pulled into the Tim Hortons, pulling through the drive-through. He looked at me asking silently what I wanted.
"Chai tea," I tell him. I listen to him order his own tea and roll my eyes as he orders a cookie. He pays with a tap of his card and in another moment he pulled into an empty spot. He left the car running as he turned to look at me.
It takes him a moment, a piece of a cookie which he offers and I shake my head at it. A sip of his milky tea before he managed to piece together some form of words.
"I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I want to understand why didn't you go to Halifax?"
I knew this was coming. It was the first question out of people's mouths. I glare at him anyway, I know I'm being unfair but I didn't care.
"I thought about it, but I realized I couldn't go through with it. Not knowing your convictions about such things, it seemed wrong. Mom offered to drive me when they first found out and I just couldn't. I couldn't just get rid of it and never tell you. Though Di said randomly finding out you were expecting a child would be worse. So really there was no right answer. I just couldn't." I explain awkwardly.
I watch him nod his head as if he somewhat understands my reasoning.
"Look you can be involved as much as you want to be. I know you're most likely in shock, I'm still in shock." I tell him quietly.
"I'm not going to leave you to go through this alone," He said after a moment.
"But you don't live here," I remind him.
"Then I'll move here, I can look into the Charlottetown Museum for a job," Ken said after another pause.
"I don't want you to uproot your life because of me," I whisper, my emotions getting the better of me at this moment.
"Rilla this isn't just your fault, I am at fault for this as well. We don't have to figure everything out right away. I will have to go back to Toronto and grab more than a duffle bag, among other things," he tells me.
I watched him for a moment. He was so calm about everything I wondered if he was mentally freaking out. Surely you don't find out you're about to be a father and be this calm? How did he not question her on paternity? Then again he did have a sixteen hours drive to think about such things.
"Why haven't you asked me if I was sure it was yours?" I asked him quietly.
"Because I know you're not that type of girl," Ken responded so simply I was shocked.
"But how do you know that?" I asked him.
"Because you were all too surprised to wake up next to me, and while you mentioned I wasn't your first that morning. It was oddly defensive as if you were trying to make the situation better than it was. Also, Walter talks about you a fair bit, I know you only just got home from your summer dance not long before the party. It just made sense to me that it was mine. Ever since Walter randomly blurted out in a bar that he thought you were pregnant. I wondered to the point I may have actually borrowed Walters phone to get your number that night. Unless I called some other random person while drunk." He admits.
"You didn't leave a message," I say quietly.
"My drunk self talked myself out of it believing it and I got distracted. It wasn't until mom confirmed you were actually pregnant and how you refused to say who the father was. How your mom told her it happened up near the lighthouse of all places. I just knew and then I wondered why you hadn't tried to contact me." Ken said quietly. "Yet you say that you did," He adds one with a sigh.
"I did," I nod my head.
"So, anything else I should know about?" He asks cautiously.
"My parents think I am a failure. I'm the town slut, the twins try to be nice by texting me every day, but really it's just annoying. Shirley is mostly annoying about it."
"I meant about well, the baby," He said shaking his head at my ramblings.
"Well, Olivia told me it's the size of an artichoke? The doctor says things are looking good. Olivia is my friend, she likes to track things for me since I don't." I say not knowing what to really tell him. "I have some photos at home, I think I have one on my phone."
"Actually, I should probably get your number, properly." He says as he grabs his old beat-up iPhone and unlocks it and passes it to me. I add my contact information and my name and hit save, at the same time I send myself a text.
"Do you ever use Facebook?" I asked him not to see the app on his home screen.
"Not really, I think the last time I actively signed in was maybe two years?" He spoke while driving. "Why?"
"I looked you up, Persis liked some photos from Canada day. It made me curious about the whole night. How we didn't realize, recognize each other. But if you don't do Facebook or much social media I suppose that makes some sense. I mean Facebook is really more for Joy and Jem and Persis." I tell him. "I barely use Facebook, I just have it for the sake of having it."
"I have the messenger app to keep in touch with people, but that's mainly it," Ken said after a moment.
"I messaged you, on there," I say quietly.
He sighs and fiddles with it for a moment, opening up messenger and scrolled through. "Nothing is there, I even tried the whole hidden or request folder. Actually, I tried to find you on messenger but I couldn't find you, which is why I went the Instagram route. One social media I had installed."
"I think my Facebook is still technically under Marnie Blythe," I say with a blush.
"Where does that even come from?" He asked remembering the name I went by.
"Marilla Nadine," I tell him. "It's a mash of my names, I thought it sounded cooler than Rilla last year?" Ken nods as if he makes little sense to him but sees some logic in it.
"I should get you home," he says looking at the clock on the dashboard. "Are you okay?" Ken asks me out of concern when I groan home was the last place I wanted to go to.
"If I tell you, home is the last place I want to be would it make a difference?" I sigh. He sat there in silence telling me he couldn't.
"Just drive to the house," I sigh as I sip my tea with both of my hands. Ken pulls out of the parking lot and I look out the window not knowing what to say or do.
"Do you want me to come in?" Ken asked as he pulled into my driveway.
"Do you want to enter world war three your first day?" I gave him a look while looking at the number of cars around us.
"I have to face them at some point," he points out to me. "I rather go in now than have them hunt me down."
"It's your funeral." I shrug and undo my seat belt and slide out of the car wrapping my scarf around me as I make my way up the stairs. Ken trailing behind me, waiting as I paused outside the front door. Allowing us a moment to collect ourselves before I opened it and we quietly took off our shoes
The first person who came around the corner was Walter and by the look on his face. Mom and Dad had told him, his jaw was set in determination, which was so unlike him. Walter was handsome, tall, slender. Wore vests and tweed whenever he had a chance too. His black hair was often carefully styled, while he always enjoyed a touch of eyeliner around his grey eyes, he was cosmetic-free today. Depending on the month, sometimes he sported dark stubble or was cleanly shaven.
"You fucking asshole!" He shouted, and before Ken could react he found himself being knocked against the wall. Walter holding his first that was red from the blow he just used against Ken. Ken grimaced as he gingerly rubbed the side of his face that had Walter had miraculously made contact with.
"Walter!" I scream at him.
"Walter!" My mother comes running. "Violence will not fix things." She scolds him before looking towards Ken and me. "Dining room both of you." She instructs us. It's always the dining room, the room of punishment in this house. I see Ken for the first time looking me over as I took off my winter jacket. Oddly confused since my uniform hid my small bump fairly well. He probably thought I would be rounder possibly?
"Can I change first?" I asked motioning to my skirt and tights.
"Fine, but hurry up," she said waving me off. Ken stands there, awkwardly standing as my dad hands him and Walter an ice pack. Quiet as he is when he silently fuming, only made you more nervous.
I hurry up and change rushing back downstairs. Walter is still scowling and Shirley now joined the group. Dad holding him back as he struggles while spattering threats as dad looks like he's trying to prevent a mutiny. Which I'm sure he would be gladly apart of as Ken sits there on the couch awkwardly.
"I get it, you want to protect your sister, but for god sake violence never fixes anything!" My dad warns his two sons.
"Walter got to hit him!" Shirley growled.
"For god's sake Shirley it was an accident!" I shout. "You want to blame someone, blame me for drinking enough that I couldn't even recognize him!" Shirley struggles for another moment. I was rather thankful that Jem wasn't here.
Ken looks up at me as I stand in front of Shirley. His eyes sweeping over me and going wide as he hits the small swell of my stomach that my tee shirt and leggings didn't hide.
It hits him right there and then as he leans into his hands, elbow on his knees as he tries not to freak out. He looks like he's ready to have some sort of panic attack like it all suddenly became real to him. That this wasn't some dream he was going to wake up from.
Dad's hands let Shirley go, who I block before he can try anything else.
"Just breathe through it," Dad tells him. "Seeing it is a far different, just imagining it," he said as if he was recalling his memories. He looks at me standing there awkwardly and motions for me to sit down. Apparently, this was a living room conversation, and not a dining room one?
It takes Ken a minute to collect himself, his hand running through his hair. My parents seem to have softened they didn't expect such a reaction. Still, my mom is pacing back and forth wanting to get the full story of what happened that landed us in this situation.
"If we ask a question we want an answer." She tells us in her principal voice.
"A truthful answer," Dad told us sternly, with little expression on his face.
"Of course," Ken nodded.
"Well, how about we start with how the hell did this happen?" My dad starts off.
"I told you I was sleeping over of Ellie's, but really we all snuck out to the lighthouse. I was already drunk when we arrived and we were dancing. Suddenly he was there, I don't remember much according to Ken I spent the night calling him Ben. We danced, we kissed, we found our way to his tent." I said blushing.
"You didn't once recognize each other at all?" Dad looks at us. "Not once?"
"No! When's the last time we saw each other?" I find myself exclaimed. "Three-four years ago? He thought my name was Marnie, and Marnie had purple hair that month." I try to explain as I play with my hair.
"I didn't realize who Rilla was until I woke up the next morning. I'm not proud of the moment, or the fact. I was so out of it that I assumed she was at least eighteen. She didn't talk about school, and the party was full of college kids in the University of Charlottetown swag. I tried to make things right, make sure she got home safe. Hell, I tried to make sure that I had at least used protection." I hear Ken explain quietly every so often running his hand through his hair.
"So the morning I came home from my run," I watch my father spoke carefully. I merely nod at his assumption that the tension in the kitchen that morning was from exactly what he thought it was.
"And what are your plans upon this revelation?" My father asks him.
"There is a lot of figure out sir, but if you think for one moment I will leave Rilla to do this alone. You are wrong. I'll be whatever she needs me to be, or there when she needs me. There are obstacles and the age difference of course will raise some eyebrows. But nothing untoward has ever happened on purpose. Ultimately this isn't about us, and the baby is it not?"
"How can I trust you?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "How do I know you won't run for the hills the moment things turn rough? Fatherhood isn't easy, and I was younger than you when I had Joy."
"Because frankly speaking sir, I am scared, but I am here, aren't I? I think my parents raised me better than running away when something unexpected happens?" Ken told him honestly before looking at me. "My father fought tooth and nail for everything when it came to older sister Thea, but he never once let her believe that he didn't want her around. Even when her mother was trying to tell her otherwise. I refuse to let my child think I didn't care. Rilla and I will work it out, we will figure out how to do this and be good parents."
We all sat in silence, the clock on the wall ticking around. My stomach rumbling causing my mother to look at me and then Ken. "Where are you staying?"
"I was going to crash at my cousin's place, " Ken told them. "I called them along the way."
"Well, I can't send you back out tonight without dinner," My mother told him which left my mouth hanging. Even my father was shocked "Has Rilla told you that she has her midterm scan coming up? You can freshen up as well if you want before dinner."
Ken turns and looks at me I just shrug. "I was going too, I just wanted to give you a bit of time before springing on appointments and everything else on you," I tell him quietly. "Come upstairs I have some photos and things and find you a towel," I tell him and I can see Dad's eyes bulge a bit as I motion for Ken to follow along.
"I'll just go get my bag," Ken said standing up. I nod my head and wait for him to run outside. When he comes back I bring him upstairs, passing the large number of family photos he glances at. Joys weddings and how in one random one there was us dancing when I was thirteen to some silly song. To think four and half years later we would be here?
"I'll get you some clean towels," I tell him as I opened the linen closet and found two guest towels.
"Bathroom is in the same spot."
I watched Ken nod, depositing his bag near the side of the bed of the spare room he could change in. We both stood awkwardly in our spot. I go to my room and hand him the spare photos I had and he looks at them with wide-eyed amazement or terror it was hard to tell.
"Is there anything else I should know about?" He asked.
I shrug. "Unless you have more questions?"
"Your eighteen weeks, but the party was technically sixteen?" He asks me quietly trying to piece it together. "Google said that things are calculated differently."
"Technically sixteen, but they count it as eighteen weeks," I tell him. "They go from my last period, and not the day of the party," I say as we sit next to each other on the bed.
"That makes sense I suppose," he said awkwardly. "If I knew something had happened," he started.
"You would have said something, I know," I finish for him. "It, not just your fault, I should have found some Plan B or something," I tell him quietly as I rub my stomach.
"Can you feel it move yet?" He asked changing the subject.
"Not really," I tell him shaking my head. "Or I don't think I can, it hard to know," I ramble. "I'm sorry you had to find out as you did," I tell him quietly. "I really didn't want you to find out as such."
"Why didn't you try reaching me again?" He asked curiously.
I find myself shrugging. "Every time I tried it felt like a slap in the face that you never replied the first time. I stared at it daily, I crept you on Facebook." I tell him. "I'm sorry if this causes problems with your relationship," I say very quietly.
"I don't have a girlfriend?" Ken says with an eyebrow raised.
"What about Maggie?" I ask him.
"Maggies a friend," He settles with before sighing. "It's just casual," He tells me honestly.
I quietly nod my head. "It's not any of my business anyway, and I should let you shower," I say standing up.
"We parted ways at the beginning of the summer." He told me, trying to tell me that whatever happened that night between us wasn't an issue with them. I look back at him as I reach the door frame.
"It wouldn't matter anyway," I tell him with a sad smile getting up. "You can keep that," I tell him.
Ken nods and watches me leave the room so he could shower and freshen up from the drive.
"So," Walter said from the doorway of my room when I opened my door to him. "So you and Ken?"
"It's not all his fault," I try to explain. "It's mine as well, so if you're going to be mad at him, you have to be mad at me as well."
"No, I can be mad at whoever I wish," Walter said with a shake of his head. "He should have known better, it's the cardinal rule of parties. Always year check the chick or in my case guy."
"Either way it happens, and we can't take it back," I tell him as we both sit down on my bed.
"So it seems." Walter agreed with a frown. "Do you know what it is yet?" He asked me.
"Not yet, soon though," I tell him not really sure myself. I don't know much about anything that my body is going through. I just know that my doctor scolds me every time about the lack of weight I have gained so far.
"I don't think I'll forgive him," Walter tells me.
"Don't punish him," I ask him quietly. "Would you be this angry if it was Nan or Di?"
"This more about your age, you're my little sister and sometimes there are things you don't do when it comes to sisters," Walter tells me. "Or sibling in general," he adds in all seriousness.
"We were drunk, high Walter. I didn't even recognize him, how was he supposed to realize it was me? I've seen his Facebook page, it hasn't been used for like two years. He doesn't even have the app on his phone," I try to defend Ken for some odd reason. "I'm not a total idiot, I know he was seeing someone or something while on the trip," I say quietly. "You can't be angry at him for that either, there is no Us. We're just two people having a baby together in fucked up circumstances."
"I wouldn't call Maggie his girlfriend," Walter said under his breath and I catch a small trace of jealousy in his voice. We both wait as the shower still runs down the hall with the fan running.
"You liked him at one point?" I say piecing it together. "But he obviously was not interested."
"It was a long time ago, trust me I have gotten over it," Walter said quietly after a moment. "I suppose I thought I couldn't have him, that no one in this family would?"
"I don't have him, we'll be friends nothing more," I shake my head.
Walter laughs almost bitterly. "I somehow doubt that. That baby will join you together forever. Given how this came about, there's an obvious attraction on both sides whether you both try to deny it or not. Being drunk doesn't mean that attraction didn't exist, it did. It just means you just need to grow up a bit."
I don't like what Walter implies as I shift uncomfortably on my bed.
"We don't even know each other," I remind him. "Not really, sure he knows me through you, and I from old childhood memories, but that is it, Walt. We'll be friends for the sake of this baby and nothing more." I shake my head.
Two siblings down...three to go!
The next few chapters are very much getting to know each other, making plans and Ken's parents arrive as well! The message thing still has its story arc, but that will come at a later chapter, Ken will figure it out don't worry!
Let me know what you think so far! Please it really does make my day!
Dear Guest!-Actually here in Canada most Presbyterians here don't have baptisms or christening for young children. Maybe a dedication ceremony if they want to introduce the baby to the congregation, at least that is what my friend told me who is of the faith. So I go to her when I have questions, considering I was raised Catholic and know nothing else! Though thank you for the review and making trying to ensure I had my facts correct! They are correct for Canada at least!
Tina