Fluttering Fresnels Playlist in order of chapters. I am constantly writing and listening to music that inspires chapters and stories. If anyone is curious about what songs go with this story. Here they are, I don't have Spotify, but I do have Apple music that I can publish a playlist there as well!

I will be adding to the list as chapters are added.

Cruel Summer-Taylor Swift
Night Changes-One Direction
Love Me Like You Do-Ellie Goulding
When It All Falls Apart- The Veronicas
Shoulda Been Simple-Marie Digby
Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince-Taylor Swift
Style-Taylor Swift.

Chapter 11

Ken is suddenly present, all to present as he spends what spare time I have between school, dance and work with me. He offered to pick me up after school and take me to dance. I was more surprised my parents agreed to such a suggestion. Dad barely said a word all dinner, and mom talked about everything but the elephant in the room. Ken and I just awkwardly looked at each other, as Walter and Shirley made thinly veiled threats towards Ken.

I could only imagine what the Twins, Jem and Joy would say when they heard the truth.

Ken is there when I finish school once more, waiting in his car. I can feel people watch us this time. I wasn't sure who many people would know him, but clearly, he was out of high school and would spread like wildfire.

"Olivia this is Ken," I say introducing my friend to Ken.

"Nice to meet you," Olivia said with a smile.

"You as well," Ken said. "Thank you for being there for Rilla."

"Thank you for actually getting back to her." Olivia makes a small jab at the situation.

"Probably deserved that, but really I don't know what happened," Ken said running his hand through his hair. Something he does when he's nervous I can safely say by now.

"Well, I say figure out what day it was and check your camera roll for leads," Olivia tells him. "My mom's here, I'll see you tomorrow Rilla," She said hugging me quickly before skipping off.

"I'm sorry she's," I start. Olivia is Olivia at the end of the day. "Passionate?" I say as we get into the car

"She's right though," Ken said. "I should figure out what happened."

"September 13th," I tell him before I blush. "I found out on September 13th, It was a PA day at school. I hadn't been feeling well, for quite a few weeks. It wasn't I heard some girls complaining about her period during dance class when I realized that it had been a while. So I bought a pregnancy test before going home, I didn't think. I didn't think it would turn positive." I say quietly. "I cried, got sick, and cried some more. You weren't in the same country, you were with Walter of all people. I messaged you in the afternoon, then took a nap. I don't know what time it was where you were. Probably the middle of the night, I was helping with dinner when I saw that you read and never responded." I say it quietly as if the hurt from the rejection was still all too real. Probably because it was.

He sighs to himself, his head hitting the steering wheel. "You must have been terrified?" He finally asks. His grey eyes are electric as he turns to look at me.

Would our child have them?

"I didn't tell anyone for another three weeks," I tell him. "They found out a few days before Thanksgiving. I was in the car with Joy and a song came on and it just hit me. I cried and admitted the truth for the first time. She sat with me and talked to me, she forced me to tell mom and dad." I tell him going over the details in my mind. "Everyone kept asking who you were, but I just couldn't. I didn't want to say your name and have my dad call your dad, have Walter find out."

"I feel like such an asshole," he says with a sigh as he pulls out of the parking lot.

"You're not, you drove sixteen hours the moment you heard not even knowing if it was yours or not. You could have called the house, you could just message me, but you came to me."

"You mentioned your oldest sister?" I find myself asking.

"Thea?" Ken says looking at me for a split second before turning his gaze back to the road. "What about her?"

"Well, you said your dad to having to fight for her?"

"Thea's mom wasn't nice toward their relationship. Dad did nothing wrong but she just constantly tried to kick him out of Thea's life. She moved to other provinces, refused to answer the telephone. The courts only ever awarded joint custody, visitation which she always tried to sabotage. Then of course as Dad moved up and got his coveted spot on the CBC and began to make a name for himself. She got worse. She tried to split up mom and dad by randomly showing up, or calling as if he has forgotten a weekend with Thea when they first started dating. To try and get mom to think he was a loser. Mom saw through it all though, she saw how much it hurt him, how much and tried. When she got older Thea was angry at him, even when she would visit us she was just so angry. It wasn't until a special on child custody where he was interviewing fathers and advocating to have more parental rights as a father. Did she began to see a larger picture of what exactly happened during her childhood?" Ken explains. "Dad was my age when Thea was born. He most likely isn't going to be relaxed about this."

I nod my head quietly. "I would have plucked up the courage to tell you at some point now that you were home. I wasn't going to just not tell you." I tell him hoping that he understands. "I wouldn't ever dream about keeping you from your child," I tell him.

He doesn't say anything as he drives the familiar road, neither of us is sure what else to say to each other.

"I'm surprised you're still dancing." He settles with.

"I wouldn't call it so much as dance these days," I tell a touch sarcastically. "I'm mostly keeping in shape so I don't lose everything that I've worked for the past four years."

"Then what do you do?" He asks obviously confused.

"I stretch mostly, simple routines and choreography. Pointe is only allowed at the barre now," I find myself explain.

"No crazy whip around?" He asks me with a smile on his face. I look at him puzzled, I know most people don't know ballet terminology but crazy whip around? "Those spins you were doing, when we ran into each other in the basement you were in your bouncy skirt?"

"My tutu?" I say with raised eyebrows. "Fouettés, I was practicing my fouettés that day."

"Fouettés, and tutus," he repeats as if he is recording them to memory. "Do your dance mates know?" He asked after a pregnant pause.

"I haven't officially said it, but given my restrictions, I'm sure they know in their own way," I tell him. "I tend to wear cover-ups or large sweaters at the studio," I explain. "Hide the ever-growing stomach."

"You seem rather small?" He said it so carefully as if he didn't want to get it wrong.

"I have good core muscles," I shrug as I dig through my bag for my contain of baby carrots. "Carrot?" I ask him.

He shakes his head. "I'm good thank you." He tells me. "So what does the doctor say?" He asks.

"The last appointment was pretty simple. They just check my blood pressure, weight, ask how I am feeling, hear the heartbeat. Next week's appointment is just the ultrasound they do between 18-20 weeks. Which tells us how the baby is dealing developmentally, at least that is what I was told. Though we should be able to tell what it is." I tell him. I leave out the part where I get scolded for my very slight weight gain to this point. "You'll be able to watch and hear the heartbeat as well," I tell him.

We make small talk for the rest of the drive into the city when we reach the dance studio he pulls into the parking lot. "There's a waiting room," I tell him as he also offered to drive me back an hour or so later. "I'm sure it's not that interesting but it's there or you can come back for 5:15," I tell him.

"There's a book store across the street I might check out." He tells me and I nod my head.

"Have fun," I tell him before getting out of the car.

Some of the girls corner me in the change room, seeing Ken drop me off sent them into a frenzy.

"Is he the father?" One asks me, which tells me they all know yet never had said anything.

"Yeah," I say quietly as I pull on my leotard over my sports bra and tights.

"He's totally hot," a few of them giggle, no one has time for my questions as we rush to get to class.

Tessa claps her hands to bring us together at the barre, I clear my head letting dance take over, step by step. I see him in the corner of my eye, watching the class sometime later. My feet know the steps as my mind clouds over, lost in the music. I float, twirl, swish around, I may not be in pointe shoes these days, but I still feel the connection to the floor. I can feel tears burn behind my eyes from the scene I see in my head of the story I am dancing to. My muscles protest near the end as I struggle to find my breath, but yet the exhilaration I get from the dance makes me feel complete. I look up to see him watching me, a mix of guilt and amazement in his dark grey eyes.

This dream of mine, this need to get off this island by any means possible was slipping away with each day from me. I wither myself like a wilting flower, carefully curling myself up into a ball on the floor. My heart beating rapidly as I lay on the floor as the other girls dance around me, before also falling away like petals falling one by one around me.

Tessa comes over to me. "You might want to wave a hand to the boy of yours because it looks like he's ready to run into here." She tells. "Also improvised or modified safe falling is still not permitted."

I sit up and wave over to Ken who had a look of panic across his face. I smile at him as I see him calm down.

When I finally meet him after the dance he has a guilty look in his eyes once more.

"Do you mind if I run to the store? One of the girls needs to order some shoes which I know how to do?" I ask him.

"Of course," he nods his head. "I'll be in the car."

I nod my head and Julia was looking him over before I pull her away towards the dance store. I quickly order the shoes as she tries to ask me about Ken which I give vague answers about until I lock up the store and head out of the car.

"You have a job?" He asks me when I get into the car.

"Yeah, few hours on Monday after dance I work at the shop. Tuesday 4-8 is just the shop. Wednesday I dance, Thursday is the shop. Friday, I dance and Saturday afternoon I help with attendance and shop and office work," I explain. "Tessa is really generous with me. Some of the mothers are getting more and more opinionated since it's been apparent that I'm pregnant, but she puts them in their place. But she lets me still take classes and encourages me not to give up. Next year though I'm sure it will be much different. Moms only allowing me to continue because classes were already paid for."

Ken nodded, still looking like he stole my dream away from me.

He buys me lunch before my afternoon appointment I got out of school for. We have fallen into familiarity with each other. Friends, I suppose we could be called. Still, there is enough of a difference that makes our ages ever so apparent to each other. He tries his best to give me space and remain what I jokingly call an honourable regency gentleman.

Joy finds us that afternoon. She knows Ken, she used to baby-sit Ken and Persis for extra money when she was twelve. She slaps him across the head not once but twice with a warning, mom must have told her.

"Seriously you couldn't keep it in your pants?" She said so quietly that even I am afraid of her. "Do you know much trouble you caused, how many times she cried since? I wracked my brain trying to understand what she was so secretive, low and behold it's fucking Kenneth Ford! The kid I babysit, hell I even changed your diaper at one point."

"Joy please," I plead quietly. "This is the reason why I didn't tell anyone. We didn't mean for anything of this to happen, but it happened."

"You also have been avoiding me," Joy turns to me and I shrink back in my seat, now that her wrath was focused on me. Ken looks at me and I give him a look of I'll explain later look.

"What you said hurt," I say quietly as I pick at my salad.

"I know and I have apologized fifty times but I was just trying to look out for you," Joy says with a sigh. "What you doing here anyway, shouldn't you be in school?" Joy asked checking her watch.

"We have my appointment this afternoon," I tell her.

"Oh right, Mom mentions it was the big one," Joy tells me which surprises me. Mom barely talks about my pregnancy with me, yet she talking to Joy about it?

Ken is still rubbing the side of his head as we talk. Watching us with interest as he picks at his French fries.

"Look, I am sorry," Joy says to me. "I truly didn't mean to hurt you."

"Let's just pretend it didn't happen," I say quietly, I didn't want to talk about it.

"Sounds good," she says, squeezing my shoulder. She turns back to Ken who automatically straightens, bracing himself for another slap. "I'm watching you," she tells him in a similar stern voice she uses on the twins. "She cries, the boys will be the least of your worries." She told him while leaning across the table before swiping a fry from his plate.

"Duly noted," Ken said with a nod of his head.

"Good boy," she pats his head for good measure before leaving.

"So three siblings left to deal with?" He sighs looking at me.

"I don't think Nan will do much, Di might though," I told him sympathetically. "Jem, well, killing you will offer no help to the situation so you're off the hook there."

"Persis yelled at me, partly in Japanese of all languages," he admits with a sigh.

"Do you still understand it?" I ask, knowing he spent some time with his family there when I had been a child. Something journalist job his father had landed with the CBC as they made a documentary. I pick at my salad popping a cherry tomato into my mouth.

"Enough to pick out words," he tells me. "So this is just a scan?"

"Yeah, I had my eighteenth-week appointment last Thursday. Technically yesterday was my nineteenth week." I tell him. "This is just an ultrasound, and we should get a chance to know what the baby is."

Ken nods his head. Still absorbing all the information of how his life changed overnight.

"Any guesses?" He asks me and I shake my head and shrug.

"Haven't really allowed myself to be that excited," I tell him honestly. "I suppose part of me hopes it's a girl since it is less frightening in a way?"

I was already in the room when Ken knocked on the door, being led in by a friendly nurse. Looking guilty that he was running late. "Sorry, parking took forever," he said.

"It's fine," I tell him.

"So as this is a twentieth-week ultrasound. I generally have you wait outside, and then we will invite you in when everything is finished. But Rilla asked if you can stay since it is your first time here. Right now we are just making sure that everything is forming correctly and measuring up to where it is supposed to be. Of course, this is also the appointment where we can generally tell the sex of the baby. Have you talked about it you want to know yet?"

I look at Ken, who nodded. "Rilla explained things, we both agree it would be easier to know now if we have the choice to."

"Very well, let us do our work, then at the end of it, we will go through everything with you two. The screen is up on the wall if you wish to watch." The doctor instructed him. I watched him fidget in his chair. It didn't help that his parents were supposed to be flying in today.

"Well, let's see what happening in there," She smiled and adjusted the blanket that left my stomach bare. Ken stared at it, seeing the small bare bump for the first time.

"You know the drill, it will feel warm," Doctor told me as she squirted the gel on my stomach.

I watched Ken as he watched the picture come to life, and with a click of the button. The steady fast rhythm of the heartbeat filled the room. I watched him, wondering, praying that he wouldn't change his mind.

We watch the screen, occasionally the technician would smile or say something like that's afoot, an arm. Oh look they are waving at you. At one point I find myself watching Ken more than the baby. His face is full of trepidation one moment then he would see something that would make him smile.

"All right, you can now go to the bathroom," The doctor told me as she wiped off the gel. "I know you must be uncomfortable."

I nod my head and sat up and fixed my shirt. I look over at Ken who was still stunned. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Ken shook his head still in a daze, he stood up. "Do you need help?" I shook my head stood up slowly.

"Give him a moment, you've done this before," the doctor laughed. "Bathroom is across the hall. The doctor will call you into the office when we're done reviewing."

I nod my head. I sit for a moment willing myself to finally go pee, a torturous yet glorious moment as I held it for so long. I wash my hands and fix my teeth shirt.

I make my way to the waiting room, as Ken sat looking around and sit down in the other chair next to him. It was quiet thankfully as we waited, it took almost an hour before we called back into an office.

My doctor looked up rather surprised when Ken followed in tow. "This is Ken, he's the father," I say quietly.

She nods her head. "Well, everything is looking good as far as I can tell," she turned her computer screen. "This is the head, the spine and then the butt." She pointed out. "Everything seems to be good size and length. These are the legs, and that is an arm, as you can see it is sucking its thumb already." She smiled as she ran through the photos.

"So do we know?" I ask her.

"I can't say I'm 100% positive, but I'm about 98% sure that you are having a little girl," The doctor told me. "See no penis," she laughs at the next photo. I can't help but laugh with her.

"Nothing seems out of the ordinary, or overly concerning. However, I would like to weigh you while you are here," She told me with a knowing look I wouldn't like that. "She's on the smaller side of measurements and it means two things. She dainty like yourself, or we have to reevaluate your nutritional plan sooner rather than later."

I sigh, refusing to look at Ken who was taking the information in. Until now he didn't know any better. I kick off my boots, and take off my sweater and step up onto the scale. Part of me wanting the doctor to be happy, while the other half was already planning on how to combat the extra calories.

"120," She says. "Better, I still want another two or three pounds for your next appointment. You should be gaining a pound a week in your second trimester." She tells me before turning to Ken.

"Daddy, I want you to fill these out for the next appointment if you can. It's just general basic information, about family history and if we should look out for anything. You can ask your mother and father for help if needed." She said passing a file fold to Ken who nods.

"Of course," Ken said, still in a daze. We left the hospital, walking back to the car an envelope of pictures in my hand, his papers in his own. He opened the car door of his car for me and I slid into the car, he leaves the hospital parking lot.

"A daughter," Ken says still in a daze. He runs his fingers through his hair, tapping rhythmically against the steering wheel.

"Did you want a boy?"

"I didn't know what I would have preferred," Ken said letting his headrest on the steering wheel at a stop sign for a moment. "A daughter," he repeats.

"Ken you don't," I start wanting to tell him that I would be fine on my own.

"Don't finish that sentence. I may be temporarily losing my mind, but if you think I can just walk away after seeing her. Hearing all of that…you are mistaken." He stammers as he struggles to keep relatively calm. It was strange seeing him struggle, so far it seemed like he had it together. Until today seeing the baby, hearing the heartbeat made him experience something I already went through. It blew your mind, it made you realize how real the baby was. How real everything was and how it was going to change. "I just need to process everything, and my parents are coming today, and I can just imagine how that is going to go with your parents."

"I still don't understand why they are coming?" I frown.

"Neither do I. I mean I get it, we messed up, but I'm twenty-two. I can figure things out for myself." He sighed and I frown as he mentions his age.

"Can we not got back to my place just yet?" I ask him looking at the clock.

"Where do you want to go?" He asks looking at his phone. "My parents don't get in until seven," he says happy to oblige.

"Can we drive out to the coastline?" I ask him unsure if he would go or not.

"Sure," he says as he quickly calculates which route to take. The sun is setting as we reach the coastline, the red dunes and cliffs fill our vision. I pull on my gloves and hat, meaning to breathe in the salty fresh air as I step out of the car. There is nowhere to sit, so we stand. Shivering slightly from the gust of wind that hits us, every other minute.

"I hoped one day, that I would get off this island," I say quietly.

"Nothing is saying you can't or won't," Ken replied a moment later, his voice laced with uncertainty.

I turn and look towards the old lighthouse, wrapping my arms around myself. "We're having a daughter," I say not knowing what to say. That lighthouse was filled with memories of both happy and bittersweet moments for both of us. Maybe one day I might tell her how she came to be, but for now, this place would rest in my dreams.

"So we are," he says quietly beside him his hand shoved into the pockets of his jacket. We huddle back into the car as the sun sets on us. As the car warms up the radio plays. We just pulled away as the familiar sound of Taylor Swift coming through the speakers. He doesn't move to change it as I quietly sing along to it.

Fade into view, It's been a while since I have even heard from you

And I should just tell you to leave 'cause I Know exactly where it leads but I

Watch it go round and round each time

"Thank you," I tell him quietly.

"For what?" He looks at him before looking back to the road.

"For everything, I guess," I respond. "For showing up? For not brushing it off as you could have. For being there with me today?"

"I'll always be there for you," he said with a smile. "I'll always try to be that friend you can depend on, a father she can depend on," he says. "I don't think I could turn away after seeing what I saw today."

I nod my head understanding.

So it goes, he can't keep his wild eyes on the road. Takes me home, lights are off he's taking off his coat.

I say "I've heard that you've been out and about with some other girl,'

He says "What you've heard is true but I

Can't stop thinking about you" and I

I said "I've been there too a few times"

"I will most likely meet up with Maggie while I'm back in Toronto." He tells me breaking the silence. "I owe her an explanation of what's happening and why I am moving. That whatever we had going on between us, the back and forth isn't going to work for me anymore."

"Sounds reasonable, but don't stop yourself from dating because of me," I tell him looking down at my hands.

"Dating will just complicate things. We need to figure out how this will work before anyone else comes into the picture." He further explains his reasoning. Part of me wonders if he doesn't want to make me potentially jealous of another woman being in our daughter's life.

Our daughter...

Knowing what she was, how Ken was here, it makes my mind run a mile a minute.

"Well, it's not like anyone is going to want to date me right now. So that easy enough for me to do," I remind him. "Actually I haven't been with anyone since our night," I tell him honestly and I watch him straighten his back, his fingers flexing on the wheel.

Thank you For all the lovely comments last week and the messages! It's officially Sunday here...so I am allowed to post this haha!

I hope I continue to do this story justice. Ken and Rilla are in this awkward, they know each other from years of hearing about each other, childhood memories, but really they are still very much strangers.

Also, it's a girl!

The lyrics on the Radio were Taylor Swifts Style!

Tina.