AN: Heeeeyy! I'm alive! Did you miss me? :)
Not sure if anyone else has had this issue but PMs I send and receive haven't been giving notifications. Just thought I'd let everyone know since I like replying to reviews that way. The PMs will still go through, just no notification.
And a belated (Not sure you'll even see this) thank you to guest reviewers, Guest, and alba. And your welcome alba. It always makes me happy when someone enjoys my writing.
So a couple people said Harry should have sent the scrapped letter. It was tempting, but didn't quite fit with the vibe we were going for. Harry's letters are perpetually cheerful, friendly, and oblivious in an effort to annoy and confuse/unnerve Voldemort as much as possible. And he tried to stick to that with the scrapped letter, but he was still expressing more frustration than he wanted to let on to Voldemort. He felt like it would be giving in too soon. Voldemort wants him to get upset, to inconvenience him, and that letter would have told him he achieved just that. However, now that those famous cookies have been dumped on his head… Well he just can't quite hold it all back anymore.
Read on my lovelies
0o0o0
Harry fumed as he lay in the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey had already looked him over and said he was perfectly healthy aside from the smell that just. would. not. leave. He was only still in the hospital wing because of everyone else's weak stomachs.
He stared at a piece of paper trying to decide on a way to both express his frustration, and not let Voldemort win. Then it hit him. He'll pretend the whole issue was the cookies. He won't even mention the paperwork. Sprinkle it with enough condescending sugar and it should suitably enrage Voldemort. He did kind of wish he sent that other letter so he'll take inspiration from it.
'Dear Tom,
I concede to the power of your evilness in the culinary arts, and ask that you don't ever drop such things on my head again. If I had realized it offended you so greatly I wouldn't have pretended the cookies were delicious.
Does it really grate you so much that people were so horribly mistaken of where your talents lie? Why don't you just say something instead of being all passive aggressive? There's really no point though. Everyone has realized by now that the dark makes the worst cookies imaginable.
Up until this point I had truly thought we were just having a good bit of fun. Some light hearted teasing! That is what best friends are wont to do is it not?
Clearly that is not how you felt. No one will go near me now because I smell so bad. They kicked me out of the dorm!
I will cease joking about your delicious cookies. Now that the great pride you take in your foul concoctions has become apparent to me. I only wish I had realized sooner that my jokes were hurting you.
Communication is the key to any relationship Tom. I hope we can salvage this friendship, but you need to talk to me.
Love, Harry'
0o0o0
'Potter,
I was not upset about the cookies you daft boy! The war on paperwork is no laughing matter. It is the only thing that both Light and Dark are united in!
We were never friends.
May you burn in the deepest pits of Hell.
From,
Voldemort'
Voldemort ignored Nagini telling him he should forgive the child. He should never have read those letters to her. She's developed a fondness for the boy. Finds him amusing. Disgusting.
'My dearest Tommy,
Is paperwork really such a big deal? If so, please teach this foolish boy why such a seemingly innocent, if annoying, thing has united such bitter enemies against it. Because to be honest it had seemed so insignificant I actually forgot about it when trying to figure out why you were mad at me. Maybe in time you could come to forgive me and my heathen ways.
If you are no longer willing to speak to me I suppose Dumbledore would be suitably knowledgeable on the subject of paperwork. How ever, I thought I should ask you first.
With nothing but my deepest affection,
Harry'
AN: I'm thinking about having Hermione make everyone stage an intervention for Harry next chap. Anyone got any suggestions they might like seeing added to it?
R&R