Sealkeeper: He Who Binds
Chapter 144-A "Family 'Tree'"
Patron Release 2021.09.07
Typically Sai didn't paint portraits. Not just because he'd had very little opportunity to paint in the last few years and not because he couldn't but because having subjects remain still throughout the process usually proved to be a pain in the ass.
Well, that and there just wasn't a huge demand for them these days. Instead of going and getting a proper portrait done that would be kept in the family for generations nowadays people just took pictures and filled albums with them before putting them away in some box to be lost for the next fifteen years.
Sai didn't see the appeal compared to hanging one of his paintings on your wall but he didn't exactly have any portraits of himself currently hung up either.
Or any of Mai, Naruto, or anyone else for that matter.
In fact, he didn't have any of his paintings period. All of them were either back in the shop in Konoha- it had been run by some of the other Wolves after Naruto recruited he and Mai but with the Wolves pulling out of Konoha he didn't actually know what happened to it- or had been hung up in Naruto's apartment when the Wolves were decorating.
Considering he didn't even know the fate of the apartment- had they sold it or was it just sitting there empty in case they needed it?- there was absolutely no way for him to know what had happened to those paintings without asking.
Before today he hadn't even thought about them, so he'd never bothered finding out.
On the topic of property, though, he probably needed to figure out what had happened with the Den too. He'd been in Nami for far too long to know the going-ons of the Wolves in Konoha, though maybe he just needed to take some time each week to go over the reports.
Not that there were any more reports coming from Konoha considering they'd left it but he should really be doing that the next time they took over a country or some previously unknown massive landmass in the ocean or perhaps even the very moon itself.
With Naruto in charge there was no telling what the Wolves might end up accomplishing.
Regardless of those other details, the fact remained that Sai's biggest issue when painting portraits was the movement of those he was painting. Right now he didn't have that problem.
Naruto, Temari, and Gaara were more or less asleep as, according to Mai, they attended a dinner back in Konoha. How they hell they managed to do that in their dreams Sai had no idea but he tried not to question the unending torrent of the impossible that followed in Naruto's wake like an excitable puppy at its owners' heels.
For the sake of his sanity he felt that was probably the safest option.
Whether or not they were actually in Konoha having dinner or were actually just asleep didn't really matter. What Sai knew is that they weren't moving and moving their bodies around wasn't changing that. They didn't seem capable of holding themselves up, unfortunately, but with the help of a couple wolves and some pillows stolen from Narutos' bed he was more or less able to get them into a suitable position for the painting.
He'd have to make some slight...liberties...with his work in order to remove them and to make it look as if the three had been awake during the process but that wasn't too much trouble and overall the piece should remain fairly true to scene.
And, if all else failed, Mai was taking pictures so he could always use that as a reference while he recreated the scene using the correct medium. People these days just had no appreciation for real art.
"Aw, they look so sweet." Hana gushed. "Why haven't we gotten to see them like this before?"
"Because Naruto usually doesn't go to any sort of social event." Was Mai's explanation. "And if he does it tends not to be with company."
"Well they need to do this more," The Inuzuka heiress declared. "Especially around Nami. It would do the people good to actually see the royal family out and about, especially when they look so adorable together."
A noncommittal noise escaped Mai's throat and Hana shrugged. Maybe Mai just didn't see it but Hana was sure there were plenty of people about who would agree with her.
Glancing back to the trio, Hana guessed that with this maybe there wasn't an opening for her mother to marry Tsukuyomi anymore but as long as she managed to snag a copy of the pictures Mai was currently taking that was fine. It wasn't like she actually expected her mother to marry Naruto, it just would have been nice.
Well, the benefits she would receive as Tsume's daughter were nice. Calling Naruto Tou-San wouldn't have been too difficult though it would have been strange considering she was older. Her mother, however, seemed happy enough with whatever was between her and Mai so unless Hana was going to try to get the three together she was going to just leave well enough alone.
Princess she might have wanted to be but that wasn't worth ruining her mother's current relationship in a gamble that she'd be happier with someone she probably hadn't interacted with all that much.
Sai had mentioned that he was under the impression Mai was interested in Naruto back when she first met him, though, so maybe having the three of them in some strange relationship wouldn't be all that hard to arrange. So long as Tsume and Naruto ended up married and Hana became a princess she really didn't care- and really didn't want to know- about the specifics of the relationship.
It wasn't any of her business what they got up to in private, though she already had a pretty good idea of what Naruto got up to. For someone who started a secret organization and who had hid behind a false identity for a while he seemed to be spectacularly unsubtle while going about his daily life.
Of course, even if he was subtle and discreet Anko was still around and she had absolutely no problem telling everyone who would listen exactly what they- and others- were getting up to.
In vivid, graphic detail.
If she couldn't get her mother to fall for him somehow she was keeping herself as plan B.
So long as Anko was being honest- and Hana saw no reason for her to lie- then it was a small price to pay. In fact, she would probably be getting the better deal.
Unfortunately it meant she would have to learn to share and that was probably the only drawback. Being friends with both Anko and Kurenai she knew the pair had...kept each other company before and they seemed to enjoy it enough but Hana wasn't sure if she was up to that.
She supposed that so long as she got to be a princess and Naruto spent time with the other's in their own beds and not hers she could probably accept the compromise. But, again, plan B.
Maybe Sai would have some ideas for getting the three of them together…
Okay, maybe not. But he could provide insight on Mai and Naruto and someone like Anko could help her with the rest. Hana's thoughts came to a stop. Wait. Anko was here, wasn't she? Hana had been off on vacation for the majority of it but Anko had been here since before then.
Why the hell hadn't she run into that crazy bitch yet?
"Hey, Mai, get me some copies of those photos, will you? With Naruto gone for the night I'm going to go check on Anko and make sure she's not getting into too much trouble."
"That's probably a good idea," Mai frowned behind her camera. "I should have had Naruto make a clone before he left. It would have kept her occupied." Perhaps not the most professional use of Konoha's Kinjutsu but certainly effective against Anko.
And Tayuya.
And Orochimaru.
And just about anyone who's favorite pastime was being in Naruto's presence, so that list probably included the entirety of the Wolves and then some.
As strange as it was to consider, Mai realized they probably needed more Narutos running around on a permanent basis and taking into account their usual luck that was a pretty terrifying thought.
"Oh, Naruto!" Kushina beamed at the assembled group but her attention was almost exclusively on her wayward son. "I was so pleased to hear that you had agreed to join us for dinner."
"Well Karura was very excited at the prospect and with both her and Gaara so eager to accept your invitation I could hardly decline." There was a grudging respect in his eyes for her underhanded tactics and Kushina's smile managed to widen just enough to be noticeable.
She didn't begrudge him for spotting her ploy so quickly- he'd always been a smart boy- and was, in fact, very pleased to have the success of her plan acknowledged by someone.
Not many of her earlier plans had gone off nearly as well as this one had.
"Then I'm very glad I extended the invitation to Karura." She turned to the Biju in question, as if seeing her for the first time. With all her focus on Naruto there was a distinct possibility that she hadn't seen the Ichibi yet. "And Karura, dear, you're looking lovely."
"Thank you!" She returned the smile with just as much- and possibly more- cheer and enthusiasm than Kushina had shown in seeing her son. She placed her hands on the shoulders of Gaara and Isobu. "And don't these two just look darling? I'm going to have to have a painting commissioned to capture it."
Even before she had taken in the appearances of Karura's children there was a brief glint in Kushina's eyes that Naruto caught easily enough. "I'll have to ask that you get me a copy to hang here in the house, one of the whole family."
"Oh, yes!" Karrua clapped with a small, bubbling laugh. "That's a fantastic idea." While Karura turned pleading eyes at Naruto, Kushina focused on the two smaller guests. Well, Gaara wasn't that small but Isobu certainly was.
"You're looking very handsome, Gaara-Chan." She reached out and ruffled his hair lightly, marveling at how similar it was to Naruto's. They really could pass for brothers. Parent and child was a stretch but if that's what they wanted to be Kushina wasn't going to try to get between them in the matter.
"Thank you, Sobo." He returned Kushina's smile and then looked over to his sister, one arm wrapping around her and squeezing her lightly to his side. "This is Isobu-Chan. She's cute."
A laugh escaped Kushina at the statement. "Yes, she's very cute." Which was an understatement, Isobu was absolutely adorable and Kushina very much wanted to pick her up and hold her tight for the rest of the evening. She managed to restrain herself- somehow.
"Hello, Isobu-Chan, it's nice to meet you. I'm Kushina-Sobo"
"...Hello." She pushed herself further into Gaara's side. After a few moments her eyes flicked up to Kushina's smiling face and she quickly looked away again. "...Your hair's pretty. Like Tou-San's and Nii-Chan's."
"Thank you! I like your dress."
Isobu's hands grasped at her dress, tugging slightly. "...Thanks. Aunty Temari picked it out."
"Well she did a very good job." The Sanbi nodded in agreement and Kushina released the girl from her attention.
Kushina's eyes scanned over the group to notice the absence of her daughter but before she could ask Naruto provided an answer. "Naruko had been just about to change when we arrived." His look conveyed how little he actually believed that but his tone remained neutral. "I suspect she'll be finished in the next few minutes."
"Of course," Kushina smiled at him. "Come, we'll get you all settled in the dining room while we wait." As the dining room came up Kushina realized there were more people before her than places she had set and quickly set about correcting that. "I was just grabbing the last place setting when I heard you in the hall."
She knew Naruto believed that just as much as the idea that Naruko had originally been planning to wear something else to dinner but he didn't say anything.
"Did any of you have preferred seating arrangements?" She asked the group but they all knew it was aimed at her son who graciously allowed her the spoils of her victory.
"We have no preference, we'll take the seats our hostess feels most suitable." Which was another way of saying Kushina would be allowed to decide where everyone was sitting. She flashed her son a grateful smile at the opportunity.
"Well then, right this way. The food should be nearly done."
When Naruko had finished changing into her favorite Kimono- a bright orange covered in a pattern of black flowers- and rejoined the group in the dining room they were already seated. Kushina, as expected, was at the head of the table. Unsurprisingly she had placed Naruto to her immediate right. Between him and Karura was little Isobu who seemed pleased to be between her parents and on the other side of the table sat Gaara and the other woman. She was right across from Karura and Gaara was across from Isobu leaving the seat opposite her brother- and at her mother's left- open for Naruko.
Naruko had a feeling things had been very deliberately set so that those Kushina liked more were the closest. It wouldn't surprise her for a second. That's not to say she seemed to dislike any of them, of course, as Kushina seemed quite fond of Karura and she was one of those farthest away. Naturally her own children came first and Naruko couldn't blame her for choosing the grandchildren- that was still weird- next.
Kushina always had wanted grandchildren, Naruko had heard that enough during their trip.
Naruko also hadn't failed to notice that all her talk of grandchildren had always assumed Naruto would be the one to end up providing them. She hadn't minded back then- she had been much more excited about learning to be a Kunoichi to think about having kids- but maybe Kushina had been right to expect Naruto to be the one to have kids first.
The evidence did seem to support that fact considering two of them were currently sat at the table.
"There you are, Naruko, come take a seat." Kushina gestured to her open left and Naruko made her way over. Naruto's group- because 'family' just felt weird to say- seemed comfortable enough and Naruto himself was the picture of serenity at his seat.
That, naturally, only seemed to suggest to Naruko that her brother really didn't want to be here.
"Sorry," She apologized as she took her seat. "I had trouble finding what I wanted to wear." Which really meant she had trouble figuring out what to wear before she managed to find this Kimono stuffed in the back of her closet. She loved the design but it wasn't the sort of thing she ever found herself wearing so it had been pushed back by more important things like her training clothes and regular Kunoichi outfits.
Not that she actually owned much else.
"That's fine, Karura here was just talking about her experience living in a teapot for over a decade."
"Oh, Kushina!" The Ichibi tried to sound scandalized but had to use her hand to hide her face as a few giggles escaped. "When you say it like that you almost make me sound old!"
Kushina shot her a polite smile. "You look incredible, dear, but it's hardly a secret my son seems to have a taste for more mature women." Or so talks with Jiriaya would have her believe. She hardly expected the man would lie about something like that, mostly because he seemed so damn proud of the fact.
The Ichibi frowned in thought for a moment- which looked more like a pout, before another giggle escaped her. "Well, I can't say you're wrong. Anko, Tsunami, some of the Wolves, that one time with Kurenai, his godmother, Temari, myself, and even Mito for a time…."
"I think she was referring to the company I chose to keep, Beloved." Naruto reached over Isobu to place a hand on Karura's arm to break her from her thoughts as a light dusting of red covered the cheeks of the Uzumaki women. The same crossed Temari's face but rather than embarrassed she almost seemed...proud. "Not….that."
Karura blinked. "But those people definitely kept you company."
"I didn't sleep with Mito."
"Ah, but you were in a relationship with her, weren't you?"
"That's complicated, Beloved, and really not a discussion to be having when we're guests."
"Fine." That time it was unmistakably a pout that dropped a second later as she refocused on Kushina. "I see your point, he does seem more interested in those of us a bit more experienced than he is but I don't really like to talk about my age."
"Of course not," Kushina offered placatingly. "I didn't mean it that way, I was just impressed you managed to bear such conditions for such an impressive period of time."
"It was certainly awful," Agreed Kurara, forgetting all about the conversation they had just left and cheering up instantly. "And my time in poor Gaara's seal wasn't much better due to the horrid job they did there but then my darling Naruto-Kun rescued me and everything was so much better."
"I'll bet." Kushina still remembered how the Kyuubi- Mito- had been contained within her own seal and she could see how uncomfortable a few decades of that could be even for a Biju. She just hadn't cared when it came to the Kyuubi, seeing only a malevolent mass of Chakra, but interacting with Karrua made her wonder if her previous view of the Biju may have been too hasty.
Sure, the Kyuubi had raged at her the view times she had checked on it but she couldn't really blame the fox for being in a bad mood after spending so much time locked away like that. From the sound of things her daughter had a better relationship with the Biju in question so hopefully it wasn't suffering quite as much.
"Oh yes, he made me a palace. It's absolutely gorgeous and once we had little Isobu-Hime-" The girl flushed as her name was brought up. "We had a shimmering blue ocean off in the distance. Naruto-Kun brought the palace closer so now it sits right on the coast and the view from the gardens is incredible."
Gaara nodded in agreement while Temari tilted her head in thought. "You know you'll have to show me later, I didn't get much of a chance to see as we went through the seal."
"Oh, yes, we'll be doing much more than that." Karura agreed. "We'll have to see if you can come and go from the seal as you please now too. I would love to be able to have more visitors. Leaving through Naruto's seal just isn't the same."
"Please, pardon me for asking, but I don't think I caught your name." Kushina spoke up, inquiring for the first time who it was sitting at her table.
"This is Other Kaa-San." Gaara performed the introduction for her earning a brief one-armed hug from the older girl. Unfortunately that didn't do much to explain to the Uzumaki who that was.
"Subaku no Temari," She introduced herself. "I've spent some time with your daughter-" Just about exclusively through the Chunin exams. "-But I don't think we've ever been introduced."
"Uzumaki Kushina, a pleasure to meet you." The Uzumaki matriarch paused. "..You...you were in the Chunin exams, were you not? Sunagakure?" While those came to mind, the first connection Kushina made to that name was the list Karura had only just provided. Did that imply this young woman had some sort of relationship with her son? It would go to explain why she had been brought with them but it didn't clear up any of the other questions that came with it.
Like why Temari was 'Other Kaa-San' or what the hell the family dynamics here actually were.
"That's right." Temari nodded. "We were here for the Chunin Exams. It was while we were in Konoha that we met Naruto-Kun."
"...Forgive me if I'm incorrect," Started Kushina. "But wasn't Gaara-Chan your brother?"
"Ah, yeah, that gets a bit...complicated."
Kushina looked around the table. "Maybe one of you would be willing to explain the...family dynamic you all have?"
Gaara was up to the task and Naruto and Temari shared a small grin, knowing what was about to come. Karura just watched on fondly and Isobu had started picking at a distracted Karura's food.
"Tou-San is Tou-San and he's in a relationship with Karura Kaa-San. Isobu-Hime is my sister, and Temari-Nee is my sister. Temari-Nee is also in a relationship with Tou-San so that makes her Temari Kaa-San too. But she's not Isobu-Hime's Kaa-San so she's Aunty Termari which makes her Karura Kaa-San's sister. Kaa-San and Kaa-San are in relationships with Tou-San which makes Aunty Naruko aunty and makes you Kushina-Sobo."
Kushina managed to follow along but then Gaara really started getting into it.
"Old Tou-San isn't my Tou-San anymore and he's old so he's Jiji but I don't talk much to him. Kankuro is still Kankuro-Nii but he's not Kankuro-Nii for Isobu-Hime." Gaara cocked his head to the side. "I think he's Kankuro-Oji for Isobu-Hime. But Kankuro-Oji isn't Aunty Naruko's Nii-San and Jiji isn't Aunty Naruko's Tou-San. Kakashi-Oji is Kakashi-Oji to the Wolves but he says he's Naruto Tou-San's Tou-San which makes him Kakashi-Jiji but I don't think he's Aunty Naruko's Tou-San and he's not Kaa-San or Kaa-San's Tou-San, even by law. Then there's Mikoto-Sobo who says she's Tou-San's Kaa-San but Kakashi-jiji says that she's Tou-San's Aunty but they're not siblings." His expression suggested he was thinking hard about something as he focused on Kushina.
"Is….Is Mikoto-Sobo really Kushina-Sobo's Nee-Chan? Or Imouto-Chan?" Before Kushina could begin to ask questions to clarify that- the only Mikoto she had ever known was long dead- Gaara continued. "And Tou-San has two godmothers but one is currently a godfather so I think that makes them my great-godfather or grand-godfather and great-godmother or grand-godmother but soon it will be two great-godmothers or grand-godmothers and I think one of them is in a relationship with Tou-San but the other one was in his bed naked last night." He frowned again. "But I don't think it was with Tou-San, I think she was in there with her daughter, which makes Shizune…...God-Aunty?" He looked to Naruto who, lacking any better answer, went along with it offering a nod to confirm his son's deductions.
"And there's still Aunty Mito who reads us stories sometimes. She was in a relationship with Tou-San I think but not anymore but she wants to be again and she's also Isobu-Hime's Aunty but also her Nee-Chan just like Karura Kaa-San is also Isobu-Hime's Nee-Chan but that also makes Isobu-Hime Aunty Isobu to me and Aunty Naruko's Imouto-Chan and that makes Aunty Naruko my Nee-Chan too."
Gaara gave a confident nod as he finished and Temari had to hide her wide smile behind one hand as Kushina and Naruko stared open-mouthed at the young man who had answered absolutely nothing about the family's relationships. Or, perhaps, maybe he had explained a bit too much.
"If you think you're confused now," Karura giggled. "You should try to understand things outside the immediate family. Gaara's Jiji is also Naruto-Kun's subordinate which means he's part of that hierarchy and all the relationships involved between the various Wolves and Konoha Shinobi who are still loyal to him."
"How….How do you.." Kushina turned to face her son. "How on earth do you keep track of everything?"
He shrugged. "I usually just play it by ear. Things change too quickly to try to make any sort of chart." Naruto blinked, remembering something as he turned to Naruko. "Oh, speaking of keeping track of things, that reminds me. I'm currently funding Haku's mission in Namihime so if you wanted to send her a letter I do have the address of her current post box and the alias she's using."
"...Didn't you- erm, the Wolves burn down Haku-Chan's village recently?" Asked Kushina
Naruto offered another shrug as if it wasn't a big deal and Naruko's words summed everything up quite nicely.
"Gods," She groaned. "This family is so fucked up."
Naruto silently agreed but he was just happy Gaara hadn't made the connection that if Naruko was his Nee-Chan then it stood to reason Kushina was both Sobo and Kaa-San. He already had two mothers, he didn't need a third.
And he most certainly didn't need to get it in his head that there would be some sort of relationship between Naruto and Kushina. Gods knew if any idea like that got up there it would stick and Naruto didn't doubt for a second it would be spread through the Wolves within hours of getting back.
Gossipy bunch of puppies that they were.
That was something he did not need to be spending his time explaining away, thank you, he had enough trouble keeping Anko from spreading absurd rumors when she got a little too bored.
"Why are you-" Ibiki stopped himself from asking that question, it wasn't going to help any even if Kakashi was feeling like giving a straight answer and the last he checked his vacation property in hell hadn't frozen over yet so there was little chance of that happening.
Which reminded him that he needed to get a painter down there soon. Turns out fire and eternal agony wreaked havoc on a property and he didn't want its value decreasing any further. Some asshat had already scooped up a nearby property and the additional second floor that was being added was cutting off his view of the lake of fire he had specifically chosen his own property for. Bastards.
"You know what, I don't really care why you're on my ceiling. What are you here for, Kakashi?"
Kakashi seemed genuinely disappointed at the lack of reaction but he recovered quickly, digging into his pouch for the letter Naruto had provided.
"I'm here to deliver this. Apparently I'm now a mailman."
Cautiously Ibiki reached out to take it, becoming even more wary when Kakashi immediately raised his headband to expose his spinning Sharingan. It wasn't marked at all but if it was being hand delivered by Kakashi….
"It's from Naruto, if you were wondering, and I'm fairly confident it doesn't contain any explosive notes or other Fuinjutsu traps."
Ibiki's normal scowl deeped significantly. He continued opening it anyway. Not because he trusted either Kakashi or Naruto but because he was confident in his ability to throw the letter at Kakashi if anything did go wrong.
And if it did get him, well, he'd already sorted out his property for the afterlife so he didn't have much to worry about. There was something quite relaxing about listening to the screams of the damned while he enjoyed an evening tea. Reminded him of his childhood.
Popping open the letter he skipped the polite greeting and words on how pleased Naruto was that he'd seen the benefits to their arrangement. He discarded it, going for the important part and started to read.
And read, and read.
The very faintest of red crossed his cheekbones- causing Kakashi to nearly fall from the ceiling- and he continued through page after page.
"...How many pages are there..?" Mumbled Konoha's top interrogator. It was hard for Kakashi to tell if the man was more horrified or impressed and he found himself really curious about the contents of that letter.
Minutes passed, the red on Ibiki's face steadily increasing until Kakashi could almost call it a blush, and Ibiki eventually reached the last page." Taking a deep breath he carefully folded up the papers and returned them to the envelope.
"...Tell….Tsukuyomi…" Ibiki awkwardly cleared his throat. "Tell him that if he continues to send such...detailed...reports that I'll maintain this arrangement and continue sending him copies of the global intel Konoha agents gather."
Kakashi's brows rose. Now he really, really wanted to know.
Opening his desk drawer Ibiki slipped in the envelope for safe keeping before pulling something else out. "Here, I'm not going to need this anymore."
Kakashi blinked- both eyes, even- as he was handed an old copy of Icha-Icha. A very familiar copy.
"...Is that what I think it is?" Kakashi almost didn't dare ask, as if that would shatter the illusion he'd been put under.
"If you think it's your first Icha-Icha gifted to you by the Yondaime then yes, otherwise no."
"I lost that seventeen years ago."
"I found it seventeen years ago."
Kakashi's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Where?"
Ibiki snorted in amusement. "I'll never tell."
"You raided my ANBU locker, didn't you?"
"No idea what you're talking about." Ibiki paused, thought for a moment, and then dug back into the drawer. He placed a bright pink piece of paper on the desk. "That's yours too. A love letter from Butterfly. It was very sweet. I don't have the chocolate she included with it anymore but I remember it being delicious."
Kakashi stared at Ibiki in absolute horror.
"...You utter bastard, that's why she went from being all sweet to trying to kill me during that spar!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
Sealkeeper: He Who Binds
Chapter 144-B "Weaponized" or "The Merits of a Youthful Hokage"
Patron Release 2021.09.15
With the Uzumaki still trying to process the complicated web that was the family Naruto had with Karura, the rest of dinner had passed rather smoothly. It had still taken longer than Naruto had really been pleased with to finish the meal and then Karrua had been happy to chat away with Kushina for another hour and a half afterwards while he'd attempted to finish off the bottle of wine he'd had Kakashi bring.
Temari didn't let him, stealing the last two glasses for herself, but it had made the evening bearable. Gaara and Isobu had gotten bored and wandered off at one point but with Kushina and Karrua busy talking they'd gone mostly unnoticed. Naruto wondered what sort of trouble they may have been up to within the house but he'd probably find out the next time they joined the Uzumaki for dinner.
The next time. He scowled lightly at the thought. He'd finally managed to get his family away only for Kushina to extract a promise from Karura that they'd be back to do it again soon. Karura had only been too happy to agree and Naruto knew that meant he would, inevitably, end up caving and coming back if only to make her happy.
He didn't remember Kushina ever being so underhanded and sneaky but she'd managed to befriend a Biju and wield that relationship like a weapon with impressive finesse.
Naruto didn't like it but he had to approve and even admire the accomplishment.
Damnit.
Maybe he needed to arrange it so that he was busy the next time or find a way to get Karura to visit on her own instead of having to drag him along. Of course if Karura was visiting now Gaara and Isobu would want to go along which meant he would be roped into it each and every time.
At the very least he was going to see about shortening their visits, this was way too much time to be spending on a regular basis when he had a country to run and plans to oversee.
And speaking of time he should be back in Nami about now but Kushina had suggested showing Isobu around Konoha and the little turtle had, of course, loved the idea. There was no way to say no to those pleading eyes so now the entire family found themselves walking through the streets of Konoha ignoring the stares shot their way.
Well, most of them were. Karura was loving the attention.
Isobu was enjoying the evening lights of Konoha's market district, Gaara was enjoying time with his family, and Temari was enjoying Gaara being happy.
Naruto was enjoying the thought of going home.
The universe, however, had other plans as he felt a tug at his sleeve. He looked down to meet the blue and yellow eyes of little Isobu who proceeded to point to a nearby store. "I wanna try some too."
He blinked and followed her finger to the young couple leaving with a large icecream cone held between them.
Looks like they were getting icecream before they left, then.
After all, he couldn't say no to those eyes.
"Sure, Hime, we'll get some icecream." Lifting her onto his shoulders he led on, Gaara happily following and the young man's two mothers sharing a smile behind the group.
It was a strange family, yes, but it was all theirs.
They wouldn't have it any other way.
Would it be unreasonable to just make Gai Hokage? Over the past weeks, days, and even in the last hour Asuma had wondered if he could somehow convince the man to take upon himself such an unyouthful position in order to elevate it back into the graces of Youthfullness.
If he put it like that it honestly should be too hard, he just didn't know if subjecting them to Gai's command was fair to the people of Konoha. There was no denying the man's passion, the compassion he felt for everyone- even enemies, more often than not, which was not just a little irritating- and the hard work he put into everything he did.
And, admittedly, an army of Konoha Shinobi all in green spandex would be an absolutely terrifying sight for any foe to face.
If Gai managed to force them out into public wearing such monstrosities, that is.
There would be quite a lot of early retirement and headband resignation should that become a requirement, Asuma felt, but if Gai managed to get to them in the academy? He shuddered in horror. Those young, youthful minds were so malleable, he could probably manage to make them believe it was the superior outfit for Shinobi to use and after a few generations not only would Konoha Shinobi be wearing them, they would be wearing them willingly.
The last three Hokage- skipping that bastard Hiruzen- would be turning in their graves and Asuma genuinely couldn't say he'd be able to sleep ever again with the amount of guilt he would no doubt feel.
It would, however, stick it to his asshole father for dumping him in this position. Might give the old fucker a heart attack, too.
Would serve him right.
While Asuma was busy considering the merits of a Youthful Hokage his thoughts were rather rudely interrupted by a Chuunin barging into his office. A hand gesture kept his ANBU guard from acting- though the Godaime Hokage had been briefly tempted to allow them to handle the matter just for the interruption- and a glare met the man who had allowed himself in.
Just through the doorway Asuma could see his secretary giving the man a similar glare from behind her desk. It looked like she appreciated his unexpected self-invitation to the Hokage's office just as much as Asuma did.
"H-hokage-Sama!"
Asuma's answer was to narrow his eyes further, very much conveying that the Chunin was about to find himself in a world of trouble if the matter he was bringing to the Hokage's attention wasn't of the utmost urgency.
Considering no one in the office could hear any explosions or screaming civilians it was looking doubtful.
"Uzu- erm, Genin Naruto was sighted down near the markets." Asuma sat up in his chair, his glare becoming a troubled frown. Normally having someone- and Konoha-born, no less- within Konoha wouldn't be of any concern but this individual was a person of interest, one who the guards at the gate had been explicitly instructed to look out for so that Asuma would be notified immediately upon their arrival.
Nami no Kuni's Daimyo wasn't allowed to reside in Konoha- well, Asuma didn't want him living here, anyway- but as an ally to Hi no Kuni and with biological family located here it was expected he'd stop by for visits as scarce as once a year to as frequent as every weekend.
Asuma very much wanted to know when the young man who collected countries as a pastime was here within the walls of Konoha- mainly so they could keep an eye on him in case he ended up being in the center of some new mess.
And, of course, there was that little matter of him having reduced the last village he was in to ash and rubble. Considering Asuma was seeing to the supplies required to rebuild Kirigakure no Sato- or Shin-Kirigakure no Sato as Mei was calling it- that matter was rarely far from his mind.
"When did he reach Konoha? Why wasn't I informed?" Asuma's questions only seemed to make the man more nervous.
"Me and Jotaru had been heading for the Rusty Kunai for some drinks when we saw them, we didn't see anyone tailing 'em at all so we rushed to the gate to see what was going on. 'Ccording to the west gate they never entered Konoha. South gate said the same. Jotaru went back to find 'em again so we know where they are and I came to make sure you knew."
Asuma took a sharp breath, already feeling a migraine building. "Are you telling me the Daimyo of Nami no Kuni managed to sneak past Konoha security to enter our village completely undetected? A foreign dignitary with bright, red hair?!"
"T-that's what it looks like, Hokage-Sama, and if Jotaru and I hadn't seen him I don't know how much longer it would have taken to reach you." That was a good point, actually, and Asuma took a second to center himself.
"You're right," He sighed. "And I'm very grateful you brought this to my attention. I am, of course, not upset with you or your friend but with the situation." Asuma's fingers tapped against the old wood of the Hokage desk irritably for a few seconds before he turned his attention to one of the corners of his office. "Ask around, try to get some idea of how long he's been in Konoha and, if possible, find out how he made it past everyone. I don't like the idea that there's such a huge gap in our security."
An ANBU slunk out of the shadows, nodded, and vanished again- presumably to carry out their new orders.
"Uh...Hokage-Sama?"
"Yes?"
"He, uh, wasn't alone." What did that have to- Asuma's train of though halted as it immediately took notice of another track, one that went somewhere he really didn't want to consider.
"When you say he wasn't alone," Asuma started, tone serious. His hands folded together, elbows on the desk, and he rested his lower face against his fingers more to hide his displeased frown than support his head. "Do you mean he was with people from Konoha or-"
The man shook his head. "Two of them were from Suna, I recognize them from the Chunin exams, and the other two didn't look familiar." He wouldn't know everyone in Konoha, of course, but if there was something that set them apart from the majority of the populace, something noteworthy then it was safe to assume they probably weren't local. "The girl with them had dark green hair, I've never seen anything like it, and her eyes- one a bright blue and the other as yellow as the noon sun."
Asuma didn't think he'd ever seen green hair on a person-it was less common than even Naruto's bright red- and certainly not here in Konoha. That didn't mean someone hadn't dyed their hair or just didn't get out much but if they were in Naruto's company and he had other foreigners with him there was a pretty good chance they were one too.
"So Genin Naruto and three individuals managed to get through security?"
"Four, there was a woman I didn't recognize.." He hesitated, wondering if it was appropriate to add more. The searching look from Asuma told him it was very much required regardless. "..She seemed very….affectionate with Genin Naruto. Called the little girl and the red headed boy her children."
Asuma took a deep breath. And another. And then a third still.
"Are you telling me that what appears to be Nami no Kuni's entire royal family managed to get into Konoha completely undetected, including what you describe as a little girl which, I can only assume, would suggest too young for any sort of Shinobi training?"
"Uh, yes sir. They were getting icecream."
Fuck it. Fuck it all. He was giving Gai the goddamned hat.
Youth take them all.
She flipped on the kitchen light and nearly jumped as she realized she wasn't alone. Sitting on a stool at the counter the Daimyo of Nami no Kuni hunched over a plate and stared right back at her, a cup halfway to his lips. It would seem she wasn't the only one- or the first- to decide on popping down to the kitchens for a midnight snack.
Tsunade and Naruto spent the next few seconds wordlessly staring at each other before Tsunade broke eye contact and tightened the tie of her bathrobe. From the corner of her eye she could see one of Naruto's red brows rise and he snorted softly.
"It's not anything I haven't already seen, Tsunade." He remarked, not bothering to hide the amusement in his voice.
"Well, yes," She did her best to force it down but was sure a tinge of pink had spread across her cheeks at the memory those words evoked. "That doesn't mean I'm going to be giving you a free peek now."
With an agreeable shrug Naruto turned his attention back to what remained of his sandwich and Tsunade crossed the kitchen to see what she could find in the fridge. She was hungry but certainly not hungry enough to want to cook something at this hour. She was more likely to order takeout from Shiki's Crab Shack- assuming they were still open- and she was well aware of what had happened to the last fools to do so. Sai's suffering was still spoken of often by the Wolves who didn't know if they should be horrified or amused.
With the amount of meals cooked in this kitchen, however, there was sure to be something left over she could quickly reheat or, preferably, just scarf down cold. A bit of sake before heading back to bed would be agreeable, too.
After a few minutes of digging through the fridge and going over the options she felt were safe for consumption- she didn't have any idea how old some of the things in the back there but she was sure some of them were getting close to developing some form of sentience- she settled on a container of dango Anko was probably going to be missing later and a mostly empty bottle of whiskey someone had half-heartedly tried to hide in an old milk carton.
The label of "not whiskey" had hardly been convincing but with how much of the bottle stuck up above the carton anyway it had hardly been a mystery what she was looking at.
She looked from her find back to the Daimyo and as she used her hip to close the fridge door found herself speaking words she probably shouldn't.
"So what did you think?"
Normally she'd blame the alcohol but she hadn't started drinking yet. Then again, he probably wouldn't know that anyway. She always could just blame it on being drunk- and she could bribe Shizune into collaborating a story if she really had to- but the fact that he had seen her- and in a situation even she had never imagined herself being in, much to her embarrassment- just stuck with her.
She couldn't say why she had asked beyond a faint hope that doing so might dislodge the thought from her mind at long last.
He didn't even look over as he answered, washing down his latest bite with whatever drink he had chosen. "Your body is in very good condition considering the abuse you've put it through over the last few decades. I would have expected it to take a greater toll on you."
It was, perhaps, a more clinical observation than she would have expected from any other young man that had been given the opportunity of seeing her...like that...and Tsunade found herself just a little disappointed that she hadn't at least managed to get a proper compliment out of it.
Still, she should have known what she was getting into when she accepted his offer. Working among the Wolves made it abundantly clear that they simply didn't do normal and she should have left any expectations back in Konoha.
It was definitely fun though, there was no denying that. She'd had more fun working for Shizune than she could remember having in many, many years- a number not generally talked about in polite company.
"Well that's one of the benefits to the Genjutsu." She offered it in the most off-handed manner she could, avoiding any specifics on what she'd put her body through or acknowledging the almost-compliment he'd included in his answer.
This time he did turn, his raised sandwich losing a slice of tomato to the counter as he narrowed his eyes in her direction. She only had to wonder what she'd said that had earned that look for a moment.
"You're not under Genjutsu." He declared with finality.
She froze, startled by his sheer audacity, and nearly dropped the bottle of whiskey. Recovering with a shake of her head she set the bottle of her prize carefully on the counter near him and pulled up her own stool.
"Of course I am," She waved off his declaration. "Do you realize how old I actually am?"
"Genjutsu functions by affecting a target's chakra system to influence their senses." He lectured, jabbing a finger towards her. He stressed his point while the rest of his sandwich tried to escape its prison of bread." Not most Genjutsu, all Genjutsu."
Her counter was readily available. "There's the Henge." Offered the Sannin. She reached for the bottle and nearly dropped it yet again when Nami no Kuni's Daimyo slammed his hands down on the counter.
"The Henge is a space-time Iryo-Jutsu!" It was impossible to miss the passion in that sentence, he obviously felt very strongly about this subject."It is hands-down the most impressive technique ever created and yet so simple to perform it's taught to our academy students and then forgotten about." Naruto spat in disgust. "Only the Kage-Bunshin comes close and with my recent discoveries on new functions of the Kage Bunshin I would be tempted to say it's the most impressive if not for the fact that the Kage-Bunshin cannot be easily utilized by just anyone."
He shook his head. "It's an E-Ranked Jutsu, for fucks sake. A civilian could be reasonably expected to be capable of performing it within a week even if they hadn't gone through chakra training before, it takes that little Chakra and is that easy to perform."
Tsunade's rather bland response made it clear she didn't hold it in quite the same light. "It's an illusion."
Naruto actually glared at her for that. "If I Henged into a Kunai you would be able to throw me as a Kunai. I would weigh as much, changing my very mass. My flesh would become the steel, hard and sharp, and the only reason you would be able to tell the difference would be if you could see or detect Chakra. That's not an illusion, it changes your very form."
"If that was the case you would be able to Henge into a bird and fly." She pointed out.
"You could, I believe, if you were familiar enough with a bird's biology and knew the mechanics behind its flight. If you don't know how the bird is supposed to be you'll turn into what you think it is and you can hardly expect most people to know exactly how a bird manages flight- especially a Shinobi who has other things to concern themselves with. But a Shinobi knows the balance of a Kunai and so when they become a Kunai it's just as balanced as their favorite blade."
"Wouldn't that suggest you could Henge into a woman, become pregnant, and then give birth?"
"Could? Yes. But you tell me how many people are actually focused on changing their entire biology when doing that and not just concerned with the outwards appearance they're projecting. They would also have to keep that same Henge going for an entire nine months. The length of a Henge is typically determined when performing it and grows exponentially so the required Chakra for such a long change would be astronomical and you would risk it being dispelled every time you slept or were sufficiently distracted and started to lose focus."
"Possible," He reiterated. "But by no means a simple endeavor. I also don't see why you would want to."
"That's an...interesting...theory." She offered evenly. Hopefully with that tangent he'd forgotten about-
"So, we know you're not using a Genjutsu because that's not how they work-"
She scrambled for an answer and was mildly satisfied with what she managed to come up with.
"I have a seal, you know, it could be maintaining a permanent Henge in this form."
He glanced up at it, scrutinizing, before shaking his head. "A seal maintaining a Jutsu? Possible but it would have to actively be channeling Chakra which would cause it to glow slightly. Henge's not chakra intensive so the glow wouldn't be much but your mark would at least be vibrant. It's dull which suggests the opposite, I would wager it's designed to store Chakra instead."
He didn't know a whole lot about Fuinjutsu-he still didn't find much time to study the subject and sources were not easy to come by these days- but he was familiar enough with seals for that much.
"Okay, fine," She crossed her arms with a huff, completely ignoring the food she had poached from the fridge. "Then how would you explain why I look so young?"
He gave her a blank, unimpressed expression. "Really? That shouldn't even be a question. Your grandmother was Uzumaki Mito, making you a quarter Uzumaki, and I know for a fact your mother- her daughter- married a man from the Uzumaki clan too. You're three-quarters Uzumaki and are wondering why you still look young?" Naruto scoffed. "Hell, you're more Uzumaki than you are Senju.
"I knew that," She grumbled, "I just forgot that other people might know that too."
Naruto rolled his eyes. "I was Uzumaki." He pointed out as if it needed to be explained. "If anyone is going to keep track of Uzumaki blood it's going to be the Uzumaki clan and considering the close ties you maintained with the clan…" He trailed off, certain his point had been made.
The longevity of the Uzumaki was well known, almost to the point of legend, though with the fall of Uzu it wasn't something that came up often. When there were hundreds of individuals who might realistically live well past a hundred while still being fit for duty countries and hidden villages tended to take notice. These days it just meant they had more time to try to bring the clan back. Naruto was only vaguely curious if his mother and sister would somehow manage that.
"Fair enough." Conceded the last Senju. "I see your point.
Silence descended for a few minutes. Naruto recovered the remains of his sandwich from his plate and Tsunade picked at her liberated Dango.
"So you really think I look good?" Now that it was established that they both knew this was her actual appearance and not something she had chosen for herself any compliment suddenly became that much more genuine. Tsunade wasn't vain by any means and she knew she looked good but none of the men who stared at her knew her age and those who did weren't aware she wasn't pretending.
It would be nice to hear from someone aware of both.
"Everything seemed very firm and shapely from what I could see, not even a hint of sagging anywhere. I would have to ask Shizune if you feel as soft as you look."
One of her brows arched and she felt perhaps just a bit too bold. "You know you could just ask me for the opportunity to find out for yourself, right?"
One of his brows rose and he gave an amused snort, his incredulous expression suggesting she had said something obviously ridiculous.
"I could, but then I might risk pissing off my head physician and that seems like a very bad idea."
Well, he wasn't wrong, she had to agree. Tsunade accepted the answer with a shrug. "I guess that just means you have to seduce her first."
He waved her off. "Anko already has dibs."
For some strange reason Tsunade didn't think he was joking. She was torn between wanting to defend her daughter from the crazy Tokubetsu-Jounin and cheering the woman on.
And, perhaps, just maybe the tiniest bit aroused at the mental image.
Rasa stared at his desk in horror.
"None of this existed yesterday!" He protested. Kabuto peered around the man and shrugged.
"There wasn't officially a Kage yesterday, Namikage-Sama."
Reaching up Rasa took hold of his new hat and ran a critical eye over it. Primarily white- as opposed to the Kage hats of greater villages that were primarily colored- a triangle of deep blue was visible at the front where "Nami" had been written in seafoam green. Much like his Kazekage hat a veil had been attached to cover his face when worn, a pattern of blue waves shimmering in the silk. What was it about these things that drew in that damnable paperwork?
….And could it be weaponized?
He had, perhaps, spent too much time around the likes of Kabuto and the Wolves if that was the first place his thoughts ventured.
Kin panted with exhaustion, her every muscle aching in ways she hadn't thought possible just a few months ago. Nearby Dosu had unceremoniously dropped to the floor, heedless of the rocks that must be digging most uncomfortably into his back.
She didn't really know what she had expected when she had come to that arrangement with Tsukuyomi but this, well, this hadn't been it.
If nothing else came from this, though, at least she had been able to learn that she looked damn good in black spandex. She would never have thought to try out an outfit consisting of nothing else.
And Dosu could just about pull it off too. She wasn't completely sure how she felt about that yet, honestly.
"Yosh!" The Wolf lent to her team stood across the field, legs spread wide and one hand on their hip as they looked over the two Genin. "Kin-Chan, Dosu-Kun, you two handled the warmup much better today!." He paired his praise with a thumbs-up and beamed at them from behind his mask. "It is my great pleasure to be able to watch as two Youthful individuals such as yourselves grow into the potential I know is there like brilliant flowers opening themselves to the sun during the springtime of their Youth!"
"You included 'youth' twice in that sentence." Dosu grumbled, not bothering- or perhaps just not being able- to move.
"How Youthful of you to notice, Dosu-Kun!" The Genin groaned but otherwise held his tongue. Kin thought that was probably for the best.
Tsukuyomi had certainly sent an eccentric one with them. Not for the first time Kin found herself wondering if that hadn't been on purpose but she really couldn't argue with the results of the training.
Apparently either no one had bothered to tell the Wolf he was supposed to train them up to Chunin level or the Wolves had a very different- very youthful- definition of 'Chunin level'. He may not be teaching them much when it came to Jutsu but damned if her Taijutsu wasn't encroaching on Jounin level at this point. She could probably snatch up the title of Tokubetsu Jounin without much trouble after the next Chunin exams.
Normally a place like Otogakure didn't really concern itself with such ranks, hell it usually didn't even bother with Genin or Chunin instead preferring to focus on things like lab assistant and head researcher as Oto's purpose was more designed towards Orochimaru's projects than taking on any missions but Kin was fairly confident she could convince Tsukuyomi to consider it which meant Orochimaru would consider it and, should everything go well, she would get both the rank and a raise.
Not that it would mean all that much when she already had a long term mission waiting for her after the Chunin exam but who knew how long that would actually end up lasting. It would be nice to have a higher rank to fall back on until her eventual retirement, not to mention retirement benefits were always better the higher rank you had.
Otogakure didn't have many options for retirement but if she could get transferred to Nami with her Otogakure rank and retire there, well, she assumed they would probably have better opportunities in place. Tsukuyomi did take after his people very well, after all. That was something she knew already.
"I don't suppose there are any Jutsu you can teach us, are there?" Kin asked. "It would be nice to have a larger repertoire to pick from in the next exam."
The Wolf threw his head back and laughed. "Jutsu? It's not very youthful to be using Jutsu on opponents outside the field, Kin-Chan!"
Yeah, she probably should have expected that but she wasn't completely out of angles to use.
"Utility Jutsu, things that can help us get around obstacles or stop our opponents without injuring them too much." She clarified. "Surely you have some tricks as Wolves that help you in the field."
A sudden understanding dawned in the man's eyes, barely visible from behind his mask. "Ah, of course!" He nodded and then, in absolute seriousness, offered; "Just pray to Tsukuyomi-Sama."
"...How often does that work?" Dosu asked from his position, genuinely curious. These Wolves were fucking insane but they were also effective. Their madness, for whatever reason, worked and neither Dosu nor Kin were about to disregard anything that might, impossibly, provide them with a viable solution in the future.
No matter how ridiculous it seemed.
"Well it has yet to not work."
Dosu and Kin shared a look. "And when was the last time you used this technique?" She pickled up her teammate's question.
"Never." He didn't even hesitate. "I've never fallen so low into unyouthfulness that I had to call upon our divine father Tsukuyomi-Sama for deliverance, something I thank Tsukuyomi-Sama for every day."
"...Okay." She accepted that part of his answer and then- gently- prodded a bit further. "And have any of the other Wolves found themselves in...such an unyouthful state that they had to call upon Tsukuyomi-Sama for aid?"
"Ah," He seemed to slump slightly. "Yes, most tragically."
"And what happened?" Dosu had, at least, pulled himself up enough that it looked like he was lounging against a pile of rocks. Probably not any more comfortable than his last position, honestly.
"Tsukuyomi-Sama heard them!" The Wolf shouted proudly, a brief laugh escaping his lips. "He heard them and then reduced the entirety of Kirigakure to nothing more than ash and ruin in a display of his almighty Youthfulness!"
Kin blinked and turned to meet Dosu's matching gaze. After a second he just shrugged and Kin had to agree-
That did sound like one hell of a powerful Jutsu.
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