The Course of True Love Never Did Run Smooth:
Sunlight cast a warmth on my skin as I tilted my head up towards the midmorning sky, causing me to smile peacefully as my muscles stretched out and I praised my decision to practice my yoga session in the backyard instead of the living room. Birds were chirping in the trees, cars could be heard faintly in the distance and my heartbeat was completely steady as I moved through the movements with ease. When I was first turned into a werewolf yoga and sparring were the two outlets I used to manage my misplaced aggression; they helped me feel as though I some semblance of control over my life when Peter had stripped me of the choice whether or not to turn.
Footsteps padding on the grass towards the backward alerted me to the presence of someone but I kept my eyes closed as I focused on the familiar scent and had to smile to myself when I recognised Hayden trying to sneak in. I was incredibly thankful that Scott was out with Stiles because I didn't want his presence to dissuade Hayden from speaking to me about whatever she wanted to speak to me about.
"Good morning, sunshine." I greeted her warmly without opening my eyes as I changed positions, enjoying the way she froze in surprise when she was addressed and it became incredibly clear that Theo wasn't giving the Chimera's any proper training.
"How did you know it was me?" she asked curiously in a soft voice as she started walking forward once more and I opened my eyes to look at her with a smile as I dropped out of my pose.
"I recognise your scent. You haven't learnt how to disguise it yet. Or detect one, it seems." I told her nonchalantly with a shrug of my shoulders as I dropped my arms to my sides so that I was standing normally, making sure that there was no judgement in my voice. A frown marred her pretty features as she came to a few feet away from where I had set up my yoga mat, crossing her arms over her chest in what I'd come to know was her instinctive defensive posture. In so many ways Hayden reminded me of myself; afraid of showing anyone the soft, gooey centre that cares maybe a little too much and so you act as though nothing could affect you instead because if you rely on no one it hurts less when they leave.
Hayden bit down on her lower lip nervously as she shifted on her feet like she didn't know whether or not to say what was on her mind and I kept quiet as I stretched my arm behind my head, treating her as one might a skittish animal. I felt her gaze lingering on the tattoo inked on my hips and I knew that she was remembering the phrase as the one I had repeated that day in the library. I was glad that I had gotten to the stage where hearing the words didn't cause a sharp ache in my heart; they were no longer a reminder of my failure to protect Allison, but a motivation to do everything in my power to protect people.
I started humming to myself absently as I bent my leg up behind me, closing my eyes with a serene smile as the sun beat down on my skin and I couldn't help internally musing that I should really spend more time in the sunshine. I swapped legs after a few moments, enjoying the tender ache of my muscles as I waited for the silence to break Hayden's resolve and I knew that it wouldn't be long before impatience would outweigh her resolve to stay silent out of spite.
"My mother's dead."
"Whoa." I said out loud in surprise as I dropped my leg like it was dead weight, my eyes flying open to stare at her with wide eyes and I placed my hands on my hips while I turned to face her head on as I murmured, "Not where I thought this was going."
Hayden blushed in embarrassment as she turned her head away from me; her posture was tense with frustration and determination as she once again shifted on her feet uneasily. Her jaw was clenched so tightly that I was surprised that I couldn't hear her teeth grinding together but she suddenly blow out a breath like she had come to a decision as she turned her head to meet my gaze. Determination clouded her eyes as she squared her like she was preparing for combat and I couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow in amusement because I was almost positive she wasn't going to physically attack me; and she definitely wouldn't win if she did attempt to fight me.
This was the side of Hayden that I had started to admire before her death; the strength and fortitude that she displayed after all she had been through. There was something about her that screamed, 'the universe has decided this one will have grit and fire and steel in her blood. She will face trial after trial and be broken, damaged in countless ways, but this one was born to fight.'
"My mother's dead. And my sister," she trailed off unsurely as she shifted on her feet, glancing away for a moment before meeting my gaze squarely and I tilted my head to the side in question as she continued, "My sister, as much as she tries, can't be my mother-figure and my sister. She can ground me, and help me with my homework, and tell me to eat my vegetables. But I can't talk to her about…"
"About?"
"About…boys." she whispered conspiratorially as though it was a dirty word, her eyes darting around nervously like she was worried someone would overhear her and I furrowed my forehead in confusion before realisation hit me when she glanced towards the empty house.
"Oh, no one's home. No werewolves in the vicinity, except us." I assured her warmly with a shrug of my shoulders as she immediately relaxed her defensive stance and I lowered myself to sit down on my purple yoga mat, folding my legs beneath me. I gestured with my head for her to join me as I picked up my water bottle and took a sip as she hesitated a moment in consideration before sitting down in front of me on the grass. "So, continue…"
Hayden rolled her eyes as though I was inconveniencing her with my interest but I kept my mouth shut so that I didn't scare her off because I knew that she obviously needed someone to talk to if she was coming to me. She absently plated with the grass underneath her hand as she avoided looking at me in the eye and a blush spread across her cheeks as she spoke in a low whisper that I could only hear because of my enhanced abilities, "I can't talk to my sister, and I don't…have any friends. None that I'm close enough to talk to about something like this."
Curiosity caused my eyebrow to quirk inquisitively as I tilted my head to the side and I felt a bout of sympathy for the girl because even in my worst moments, I always knew that I had my mom and Lydia to support me. A small frown marred my lips as I waited for her to continue; there were so many avenues this conversation could take and I didn't want to assume which one she needed advice about. I wasn't completely sure I was the most suitable person to give what could be life altering advice but I knew that I would do my best to protect her, physically and emotionally.
There was also something thrilling about being able to help someone, about being able to mould someone into the person they were meant to be. There was an unmistakable warmth that had settled in my chest when I learnt that she had willingly come to me for help and advice, that she wanted my help and advice. The invisible thread that connected me to the other Chimera's felt like it was humming with anticipation but I tried to hold back my joy out of fear that it would frighten her away. Stiles had jokingly nicknamed me the mother of the pack because of my almost obsessive need to know where they were at any given moment, and my overly protective nature when it came to those I cared about, but it had never felt more relevant.
It wasn't just a sense of kinship like I felt for the members of the McCall pack, even those whom weren't currently active members, or even a familial affection like I felt for those closest to me like Liam or Stiles, but a more maternal instinct imbedded in my altered DNA. Sometimes I had to physically stop myself from throttling Theo when I saw him speaking Hayden, Josh, Corey and Tracey in the hallways at school. I had always been protective, but there was something different about the Chimera pack.
"So, what's going on?" I asked the younger girl compassionately as I placed my water bottle down on the grass next to me and she shifted uneasily as she looked away, a blush spread across her cheeks as her eyes darkened. Realisation hit me almost immediately as she played with a few blades of grass in an attempt to distract herself from the conversation and a small smile touched my lips as her pheromones reeked of embarrassment, affection and lust. "Oh."
"Oh?" Hayden repeated questioningly as her head snapped around to look at me with eyes wide in disbelief, like she couldn't believe that I had already worked out what she wished to speak about. "You don't even know what I want to talk about."
"You and Liam slept together." I concluded nonchalantly with a shrug of my shoulders with a small smirk on my lips and her eyes widened even further as she looked around as though someone might have overhead my words.
I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes; and made a mental note to go over the basics with the Chimeras whenever I got the chance because it was obvious that Theo was neglecting their tutelage. They were merely grunts in his army and he hadn't been bothered giving them any training; that told me one very important thing: Theo didn't care if they survived what was coming or he wouldn't given them the basics on how to survive in the supernatural world. They may have been on the opposing side but they were innocent. They didn't ask to be experimented on, or killed, or even brought back to life, and Theo was the one who 'saved' them. They didn't see the darkness hidden beneath the surface, or sadism underneath the charming exterior, and who could blame them when only Stiles had seen it.
My heart clenched painfully but I pushed my guilt aside so that I could focus my attention on the issue at hand and I sent her a small smile in an effort to calm her nerves as she settled back into a more relaxed position. I tilted my head to the side as I watched her nibble on her lower lip with a thoughtful expression but it soon became apparent that she wasn't going to continue without a prompt, "So?"
"So…what happens now? I'm not sure we're even together! There's so much happening at the moment. We're on different sides. And I'm worried about staying alive, and school, and my sister. I don't know how Theo will react when he finds out, or what Liam expects to happen now, or – "
"Hayden!" I interrupted her sharply before she could work herself into an even more flustered state because I could hear the rapid acceleration of her pulse and she cut herself off abruptly as she stared at me with wide eyes like she couldn't believe that she had opened up so easily. I waited a moment for her heartrate to calm down before I reached over to grasp one of her hands with my own, squeezing gently as she took a deep breath and I met her gaze squarely with a solemn look as I told her softly, "Stop worrying about other people. Don't worry about how people are going to react. You are the one who has to live with your decisions, with your choices. What do you want to happen now?"
There was a brief silence as she studied my features as though she could find the answers written there and in that moment she looked like the teenage girl she was, not the young adult the world was forcing her to become. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes as she looked away with a sharp turn of her head and her lower lip quivered slightly as she admitted meekly under her breath, "I don't know."
"And that's okay. You're allowed not to know, sunshine. You're entitled to change your opinion. That's your prerogative. Do you regret sleeping with Liam?"
"No!"
"Will you regret it in five years?"
"…No. I don't think I will."
"Well, why did you decide to sleep with him?" I asked her curiously as I leaned back on my hands, tilting my head upwards so that the sunshine warmed my skin and she regarded me thoughtfully as she chewed on her lower lip. Several emotions seemed to play out across her face as she pondered the answer to the question, taking the time to really think about why she took the next step with Liam. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from commenting on the fact that she probably should've thought about that before she acted because I wasn't exactly the poster child for making great choices when it came to sex.
"I felt…happy. We were sitting on my bed together. My legs were thrown over his lap and he was playing with my fingers while we talked about…about nothing. I was so happy. And I felt so alive. So alive. For the first time since I'd come back to life, it was like…I was complete, or something. whatever." Hayden admitted sheepishly with an embarrassed expression as she avoided my gaze and instead stared down at the grass as she grazed her fingers over it.
A small smile played on my lips as a surge of affection spread through my veins at the thought of her having a meaningful first time and I sighed dramatically for flare, causing her to snap her head around to look at me like she had forgotten I was there. My lips twitched in amusement as I sat up straighter and I reached over to hold her hand in mine as I told her honestly, "It sounds nice. Better than my first time anyway. I was way too young. It was with my best friend Jackson the summer before freshman year. It was so awkward. We weren't in love like you and Liam are."
"What!? No! No, we're not in love." she denied automatically with wide eyes as she jerked like she had been electrocuted and I blinked in surprise because I thought it was a common knowledge that they were in love.
"Okay…" I drew out the word doubtfully as she frowned at me with confused brown eyes and I plastered an innocent expression my face with a pout on my lips as I continued slowly, "It's just when someone describes feeling alive, and complete, it's usually when they're in love. And usually with the person they're describing."
Hayden stared at me with her eyebrows furrowed thoughtfully, her lips pressed in a tight line as she pondered over my words like I had just given her key to an intricate code. The sunshine brought out a reddish tint to her brunette hair as she dragged her crossed legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. it was refreshing to see her acting like a normal teenage girl instead of a young woman relying on others for survival and I wanted to freeze her in that moment for as long as possible, but I knew that reality would soon catch up to us.
"You've been in love?" she asked lowly as she looked up at me from below her lashes, a sort of desperate hope shining in her eyes and a familiar dull ache pounded to life in my chest at the reminder of my lost loves.
"Mm-hm. Twice." I answered honestly with a faint smile on my lips as I stretched my legs out in front of me and she tilted her to the side curiously, silently asking me to continue. I chuckled softly as tears welled in my eyes but I refused to let them escape and she waited patiently as I cleared my throat before explaining my past love life, "My first love, Aiden, I met him my junior year. He and his twin brother were members of what's called an Alpha Pack; a pack made up of all Alpha's. He was hot, I was bored, and so we started sleeping together. By the end of the civil war, we had lost two of our members and so had they, but the twins survived. They decided to stay in town, and Scott agreed to give them a trial period. Aiden and I started to like each other more and more, started spending time together without having sex, until he eventually got me to cave and we started dating. Something…bad, came to town. Something completely evil, and we lost one of our members. Aiden wanted us to run away together, but I wouldn't go. I couldn't go. Not while everyone else was in danger. In the end, Aiden sacrificed himself to save Derek's life. He died in his brother's arm, with me by his side."
A few tears ran down my cheeks by the end of my story as I remembered the numb feeling that overtook me after his death and she hesitated a moment before reaching over to grasp my hand comfortingly, making me offer her a watery smile in gratitude. I brushed my fingertips across my cheek in order to wipe away the teardrops as I sniffled delicately and I cleared my throat as I continued, "The second time, it was with Derek. Even before we started dating he was my best friend. I knew that I could count on him no matter what. I trusted him so much that if I ever needed help moving a body, he would be the one who'd call to help me. He was six years older than me, and had been accused of murder twice, but he's one of my favourite people. We were so happy when we got together. We had date nights, and late night chats, and it was amazing. But then he got it in his head that I was better off without him. He didn't want to hold me back. Not when I was about to start my life at college. He didn't want me to end up resenting him, or the life we were going to create together. And so he let me go. And I went. Kicking and screaming, but I went."
The smile on my face was brittle as I remembered the all-consuming heartache I felt that first week after Derek left me; I had spent days crying in bed with Lydia holding me and I couldn't step foot in the loft for weeks after the fact because it reminded me of Derek and our relationship. It had taken some time but all that pain had settled into a distant ache that was easy enough to ignore, and we were making an attempt to reinstate our friendship.
"How'd you know?" Hayden asked hesitantly, almost like she didn't really want to know the answer but she determined to push herself past the fear and I cocked my head in question as she ran her fingers through her hair before continuing, "How do you know you're in love?"
"Huh. Well, with Aiden, it hit me like a truck. We had been dating for a while, but it never really occurred to me that it could be leading towards love. But we were arguing about whether or not we should run away from the fight, and he mentioned that he loved me while we were shouting at each other. And it was like a lightning bolt hit! I loved him." I admitted with a slight smile on my lips as I shrugged my shoulders coyly, a nostalgic warm blooming in my chest as I remembered the events that happened after we confessed our love for one another. "And with Derek, it happened slowly over time. We were best friends so there was already love there, but once we started having sex and going on dates it started to grow. Everything reminded me of them; songs on the radio, jokes someone told, anything and everything. I could read a book and finally understand what they were saying. I could hear a song, something that I had heard a million times before, but it suddenly made sense. When they touched me, my skin was on fire. There was an intensity that wasn't there with anyone else, a warmth that I felt in my chest. There was no other word for what I felt, so it had to be love."
My eyebrows creased in thought at my own words as I realised that I still felt that way about Derek and a wave of guilt quickly followed when I remembered that Derek had left me but Jordan was here. Jordan was here in Beacons Hills and he readily admitted that he loved me, not once making me feel the same level of emotion that Derek did without even being in the vicinity. A heavy feeling settled in my stomach as I tried to push down the guilt and self-loathing that came from thinking I was taking advantage of Jordan. I didn't want to use him as a rebound, and I did have genuine feelings for the man, but maybe Derek did have a point when he broke up with me. I was still in high school while they were both older than me, I was leaving to attend Stanford once I graduated, and I didn't know where my life was going to go.
Hayden worried her lower lip in between her teeth as she kept her gaze locked on the grass, her hand clutching mine tightly in desperation and it had became evident that I was now the one who was offering her comfort not the other way around. Unshed tears glistened in her eyes as she shook her head to herself, her nose scrunched up slightly in disgust at the fact that she was nearly crying and I squeezed her hand comfortingly without a word because I didn't think she would want me to acknowledge it.
A faint beep beep beep from one of our cell phones interrupted the silence that had settled over us and Hayden sniffled gently as she reached into her pocket to grab her phone. A frown marred her features as she glanced at the screen and she sighed heavily as she retracted her hand from mine, standing up from the ground as she slid the phone back in her pocket. I quickly followed her lead as I climbed off of the grass with a questioning glance and she offered me a smile that was more like a grimace as she explained, "My sister wants me at home."
"Ah, Valerie, raining on parades wherever she goes!" I quipped with a forlorn sigh escaping me as I shook my head with a smirk on my lips and Hayden shot me a warning look, annoyed that I would say something about her sister. I held my hands up in mock surrender as I rolled my eyes in amusement and bent over to pick up my water bottle and yoga mat from the ground, intending to go inside now that the conversation was over.
"Um, so…thank you." she whispered softly as she avoided eye contact with me by looking down at the ground and I reached out to squeeze her shoulder affectionately, trying not to embarrass her so that she would feel comfort enough to come back if she ever needed to.
"It's not a problem, sunshine. No matter what's going on between the two packs, I'm always here for you." I assured her honestly with a grin on my lips as I wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders and started leading her to the back gate where she had previously entered the yard.
It felt nice having someone of the same sex asking me for advice, to protect; it was almost most like having a younger sister to look after. Scott and Stiles would always be my brothers, and I would lay down my life for them in a heartbeat, but this was different somehow. Liam and Mason were the younger brothers I never had; problematic and fun to tease, but in constant need of supervision. Lydia would forever be a part of my soul, a sister in all but blood; while she sometimes came to me for advice and I would gladly kill or be killed for her, we were equals in maturity and life experience. My budding relationship with Hayden was different, unique.
Hayden paused in front of the open gate to the backyard, a thoughtful frown on her lips as she hesitated momentarily before quickly spinning around and wrapping her arms around me in a tight embrace. I had been able to return the hug before she was pulling herself away and scurrying out of the backyard until she was completely out of sight, making wonder if it had really happened at all or if it was wishful thinking on my part.
With a soft smile on my lips, I collected my things from the grass where I had set up for yoga and made my way back inside the empty house as I enjoyed the silence while it lasted. I knew that there was a conversation with Scott in my future, an emotional one that could forever make or break our relationship and I knew it was childish but I was putting it off as long as possible. Every time that my brother tried to corner me, I turned in the other direction and I was aware that I couldn't avoid him forever but I was still furious and hurt by his cruel dismissal. Stiles told me that they had talked it out when they drove to get Kira and Scott had apologised, vowing to never let someone manipulate him like Theo, but I was ready to let go of the pain because if I did…I don't know whether or not I could handle falling apart.
The scent of chocolate chip cookies wafted in from the kitchen and I remembered with glee that I had baked them earlier in order to work out some of my stress before realising that it wouldn't be enough so I moved on to yoga. I practically skipped into the kitchen with a grin, my energy renewed by the vitamin D therapy I received spending time outside and I plucked a cookie off of the cooling rack with a satisfied hum.
I bit into the delicious treat as I heard the front door open, causing me to grab the nearest weapon which happened to be a knife and I chewed slowly while inhaling as I tried to identify the scent of the person letting themselves into my house. I relaxed marginally when I recognised Liam making his way towards the kitchen and I dropped my hold on the knife as he rounded the corner with a sheepish expression, still not completely comfortable letting himself in without knocking. I narrowed my eyes at him slightly, trying to see if I could spot the difference now that I knew that he had lost his virginity and he looked at me weirdly as he helped himself to one of the cookies I silently offered.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked me in a freaked out tone of voice as he nervously bit into a cookie and I tilted my head to the side as I let out a loud sigh.
"Were you nice to her?"
"What? Who?" he asked with a raised eyebrow as he focused on his cookie like it was the most fascinating thing in the world and I rolled my eyes at him with a slightly annoyed look. I quickly pulled the plate of cookies away when he went to grab another one and he shot me a glare but I returned it with a purse of my lips until he sighed dramatically like I was the one who was being difficult. "What are you talking about?"
My gaze softened fondly as I reached over to grasp his hand in one of mine and his brows furrowed in confusion but he didn't appear to be completely uncomfortable. I momentarily studied him, taking note of the new light in his eyes that seemed to shine from within him; the same light that Hayden shared. I walked around the counter so that I was standing next to the young Beta and he looked over at me with wide eyes as I cupped his face with both of my hands while making eye contact. "Be nice to her. Do you understand me, young man?"
Comprehension seemed to dawn on him in that moment as his cheeks flushed scarlet with embarrassment and he tried to look away but I kept my hands against his cheeks so he had to maintain eye contact as I raised an eyebrow. He nodded his head in understanding as he adverted his gaze to the ground once I let go of him and I gave him a peck on his flushed cheek before wiping my thumb over the same spot. I paused for a moment with a disgruntled frown, internally wondering when I became a grandmother but I shook my head to myself as I moved back around the counter to finish plating the last batch of cookies. Liam sat silently on the stool opposite me as he nibbled on a chocolate chip cookie with a thoughtful expression, his eyebrows drawn together and a slight pout on his lips as he stared blankly ahead.
The sound of the front door being thrown open followed by the thunderous racket of multiple footsteps entering the house and Liam jumped slightly in surprise, a sure sign that he was distracted because his situational awareness was normally exceptional. I smirked slightly to myself when he relaxed back into his seat as he recognised the familiar scent of our friends and I picked up the plate as I gestured for him to follow me into dining room. Scott and Stiles were already covering the table with the blueprints provided by Jordan and surveillance photos taken outside of Eichen House that I had hired a discreet private investigator to provide.
"Liam, grab that file in my bag, please." I said mildly as I placed the plate down on one of the clear surfaces of the table, smiling indulgently when Malia immediately snatched a handful with a greedy look in her eyes and Kira shyly accepted one with a small smile when I waved one hand toward them. Liam nodded in acknowledgement, appearing bashful at the prospect of going through my bag but he pulled out a thin file which had 'EICHEN SECURITY LOG' written across it in large red letters and placed it on the table for everyone to see. The other members of the pack looked over at me with inquisitive expressions, wondering how the file had come into my possession and I offered them a shrug of my shoulders as I informed them coyly, "I still have some friends on the inside. They haven't forgotten that it's better to have me as a friend, and god help them to have me as an enemy."
"You frighten me." Stiles uttered nonchalantly with a shake of his head as he frowned to himself and I flashed him a megawatt smile as I tilted my head to the side at the compliment.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
My smile faded slightly as I watched Stiles hold up a familiar looking key card, one that I myself used to have access to and I was reminded of the real reason we had all gathered together. The reason that Scott and I had foregone our tense passive aggressive fight, the reason that Stiles and Malia were standing in the same room despite their breakup, the reason the Liam was here even though he had nearly killed Scott. My mood turned bleak as I wrapped an arm around my waist while grabbing a cookie with the other hand, hoping that some chocolate would help improve my mood at least a little bit.
Scott nodded a little to himself as he watched his best friend sit the key card down on the table and then he took a deep breath as he looked around at all of with a small smile touching his lips. A determined glint entered his eyes as he glanced down at the tabletop littered with things that would help break into Eichen House and then he declared in a firm voice, "Now we get Lydia."