CH. 7: Not So Bad After All
Today was the day, the day Taylor was dreading more than any day she could remember. She was being forced to attend church with her mother, stepfather, and the rest of their family. She had never been to church before in her life, and she wasn't looking forward to starting now. It wasn't necessarily based on the fact that she was going to have to sit in the same place for more than an hour. She was used to being contained, in both school and at her old home. The real problem was, was that she didn't want to go but her mother was making her. If that forceful nature wasn't enough to annoy her, she was also being made to attend family dinner with her step father's family. People she didn't know or had anything in common with. Sure, Linda was her mother, but she didn't necessarily know her. Most people would also argue, that since Jack and Sean were her half-brothers. They were bound to have something in common. But that still didn't erase the fact, that they too were strangers.
Glancing at the clock on the nightstand Tayler yawned when she read the time. She had no idea what time the Reagan's attended to mass. And considering she wasn't looking forward to it, she wasn't going to get up early, or even willingly. Then again, she was hungry. So, she figured getting up for breakfast, wouldn't be the worst idea in the world. Just as she was about to climb out of bed, she heard the basement door open.
"Tayler," Linda called as she made her way down the basement stairs. "It's time to come up for breakfast so we can get ready for mass."
"I'm coming," Tayler moaned inwardly, at the thought of mass, but she kept her comments to herself.
Breakfast was hurried along, Linda being in a hurry, so they wouldn't be late to join the rest of the family. Knowing they would have to spend a little time outside the church and introduce Tayler to Henry, Erin and Nicki, before they trailed into the church and found their seats. She knew that Henry would be upset if they had to walk in late, so she was careful to make sure they all got up a little earlier than usual. She didn't know why, but she had to admit she was nervous about taking a teenage Tayler to church, especially considering she was so against attending the night before. She was also worried about how she was going to act when she met the rest of the family. She had barely said two words to Frank, Jamie, Jack and Sean when they met. And she really wasn't expecting much, when she met the others. She was secretly hoping that Nicki would be able to get through to her, considering they were both very close in age, and she had every intention of asking Nicki to do so, once they arrived in Bay Ridge. Pulling her away from her concerns, were her sons, when the asked if they could bring their game boys to their grandfathers.
"Not this time boys," Linda spoke up, once she returned to the here and now. "I want you to socialize with rest of the family today."
Neither of the boys seemed pleased with the answer, but Tayler did notice how they didn't argue, and instead just grumbled to themselves as they made their way up the stairs. Tayler had yet to say anything, aside from thank you, when she was passed the milk and cereal. And just as her half-brothers did, Tayler left the kitchen to return to the basement.
"Today's going to be interesting," Linda looked at her husband, once they were left alone.
"Oh yeah," Danny nodded in agreement.
XXXXXXXX
Tayler stood in front of her closet for almost ten minutes trying to figure out what she was going to wear. She knew what she had in the closet, having just organized it the day before. Knowing that however, didn't do a bit to help. She still felt as if she had never seen the clothes in her closet before in her life. She hadn't brought all the clothes from her old home, but she did bring a few she deemed church appropriate. Then again, what did she know what was church appropriate, it wasn't like she had ever darkened the doors of a church before, and she figured her father's funeral, couldn't really be classified as attending church. After making a quick and fast decision, she grabbed a pair of pants and a button-down shirt.
All was well, at least until she reached the first floor, and Linda stopped her.
"Tayler," Linda said gently. "Do you have something a little more appropriate you can wear?" Linda asked after observing the jeans her daughter was wearing.
"I want to wear this," Tayler sounded as if she was prepared to stand her ground.
"You can bring them to change in to, after we get to Frank's," Linda was giving her, her only option. "But you need to at least put on a pair of dress pants."
"I don't like my dress pants," Tayler said pointedly.
"I understand that, and we can go shopping for a few new clothes this week. But you need to wear the pair you have at least to church."
Tayler was about to reply but was interrupted by her half-brother's protests.
What! Tayler can wear jeans?!" Jack objected, when he saw his sister, after coming down the stairs. "Jack," Linda corrected, her sons blunt attitude. "But Mom," her eldest son continued to complain. "Danny," Linda looked at her husband for help. "Jack, listen to your mother." Danny spoke up, knowing what his wife wanted.
Jack sighed, but he knew there was no use in saying anything further, at least not after both his parents told him something. And he knew he didn't have a choice but to follow his father and brother outside and out to the car.
"Now please go change, we need to get going," Linda kept her voice calm, as she instructed her daughter. At first, it appeared as if Tayler was going to refuse, but after a few seconds Tayler reluctantly returned to the basement. Linda didn't like how different she spoke to her children. When she spoke to Jack earlier. Her tone was exceptionally curt. Sure, he knew better than to argue, but that still didn't erase the fact that when she spoke to Tayler, her tone was gentle. She had to get this parental relationship with Tayler figured out, and quick, before things were said and done that couldn't be undone.
Tayler was outraged that her mother was forcing her to change. She didn't think she had the right to tell her what to do. She stayed out of her life for ten years and then when she returned she suddenly wanted to be a parent. Tayler wasn't happy, but she knew she wasn't the type of person to get into trouble or protest. So as usual, she sucked it up, changed her clothes and hurried out the door, without saying another word.
Tayler was reluctant to get out of the car, still upset with having to attend, having to change her clothes, and meet a family she was being shoved into. She was careful to trail a bit behind Danny and Linda when they crossed the street. She could see the Reagans she already knew standing just outside the church, waiting for them, along with two others that she only recognized from seeing pictures at home.
"Good morning," Henry was the first to speak. After getting the feeling nobody else was.
"Good morning," Linda forced a smile. Knowing she was the one that needed to take the first steps in introducing her daughter. "Tayler," Linda stepped aside. Tayler didn't budge, causing Danny to reach behind and pull her a few steps forward. "This is Danny's grandfather Henry," Linda gestured at him, figuring that introducing him in that manner, sounded better than introducing him as her grandfather in law.
"Hello young lady," Henry gave her a small smile.
"Mr. Reagan," Tayler nodded glumly.
"You already know Frank and Jamie," Linda continued, knowing they didn't have a lot of time. "But this is my sister in law Erin," Linda pointed her out as she spoke.
"It's nice to finally meet you," Erin wasn't even trying to hide her smile, showing how happy she was for her sister in law to have her daughter with her again.
"Thank you," was all Tayler said softly.
No one could deny, that Tayler didn't have manners. Even if she wasn't happy with the entire ordeal. And Linda was both surprised and pleased that her daughter did at least speak to them individually.
"Where's Nicki?" Linda noticed she had to see her niece. The one she couldn't wait to introduce Tayler to.
"She wasn't feeling well this morning. I'm going to go pick her up after mass." Erin was trying to figure out the best way to tell her sister in law that the reason she wasn't there was because she was cramping, due to starting her menstrual cycle. She would have told her the truth, had she not have been surrounded by the other members of the family. Including her young nephews.
"We better go in," Frank started to lead his family into the church, when he noticed they were on the verge of shutting the doors.
Tayler was sandwiched in between both her half-brother's, in which neither of them seemed happy about. Sean started to protest, but after receiving a very stern glare from his mother he quieted and slowly slipped back into his place. He wasn't happy about having to sit next to her, already feeling the glances they were getting from the rest of the congregation, and he could only imagine how many more looks they would get before he was finally allowed to slip through the door and all but run to the car.
Tayler had no idea how to behave in a catholic Mass, and that included when to sit, stand and kneel. At first, she had no intention of doing either, claiming that she wasn't Catholic and shouldn't have to. But after thinking about it for several minutes, she decided that copying everyone else would be better than the looks she would get from the rest of the congregation when she remained in her seat with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She was a half second late, but she did her best to follow Jack and Sean's lead whenever they did something.
She behaved fine during the singing, and Linda was beginning to think her concerns regarding her teenager's behavior was done prematurely. At least until the priest took his place at the front, and Tayler started yawning constantly. Linda was praying the priest couldn't see her daughter's behavior, knowing how irregular it was for any of the Reagans to cause any sort of disruption. If the continuous yawning wasn't bad enough, it got even worse when Tayler stood up and walked out without saying a word to any of them. Danny and Linda exchanged glances, but neither of them said a word, Linda hoping that all she did was get up to go to the bathroom.
Tayler closed the bathroom door behind her and locked it, she couldn't take it anymore and she needed a break. She hated being there, surrounded by all those people that knew what they were doing. It really wasn't based on the fact, that she didn't believe in God, she prayed regularly. It was more based on the fact that she was having to face far too many new experiences so suddenly. She took several deep breaths, and finally sighed. Church really wasn't all the bad, even if she didn't like the fact that she was forced to attend. And she did enjoy trying to keep up with her brothers when they stood or knelt.
Linda glanced at her watch for about the tenth time in the past five minutes, she really didn't mind if her children had to use the bathroom during mass, knowing that when you had to go you had to go. She just wished that they would ask permission first, so she wasn't worried about them. She hated to have to get up and cause another disruption. But with her nerves mounting, she finally whispered to Danny that she was getting up and would be back soon.
"Tayler?" Linda said quietly, after walking into the lady's restroom.
"Yes," Tayler knew she had to answer, even if she didn't want to.
"Can you come out of the stall, so we can talk?" Linda knew she would feel odd talking to the stall door, and always preferred speaking face to face when it came to her children.
Tayler didn't say anything, but she did unlock the door and walk out.
After leaning against the wall silently, Linda finally spoke.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't like it here," Tayler lied.
"I understand this is all new for you Tayler, but you will get use to it." Linda assured her.
"How do you know? This is your life, not mine." Tayler sounded aggravated.
"How do you know it's not your life?" Linda questioned. "This is just your first time. You can't judge something after only the first time."
"I don't want to go back in there," Tayler grumbled, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"I understand your upset, and this has been more change than anyone should ever have to make," Linda wanted to make sure and explain to her daughter that she understood. At least before she had to shift back to being the parent and get on to her for her behavior. "But you can't be yawning constantly, and just get up anytime you want to. And I do not want this behavior to persist." Linda warned, before putting an end to the conversation, and leading her back into the church. She really wasn't sure what she would do if the behavior did persist. And she found herself pondering the subject, as she returned to her place next to her husband. She knew that their mother/daughter relationship was still on the rocks, and she didn't want to cause a cave in. At the same time however, she was her mother, and it was her responsibility to teach her right from wrong, the same as she was doing with her boys. Things were a little different however, with Jack and Sean, they had been raised in church since they were infants. And as they got older, if they ever started to fidget too much, a stern look or tap on the shoulder did wonders to get their attention. Tayler on the other hand was thirteen and had never been to church. She was still young enough to receive guidance, as well as a little discipline from her parents. But with it being her first time to attend a church service, Linda was really trying to be as lenient as possible. After saying a silent prayer for strength, Linda turned her attention back to the priest to listen to the rest of the sermon.
XXXXXXXX
They all arrived at Bay Ridge at the same time, and even though Tayler had never been there before, she was quick to seclude herself from the rest of the Reagans, just as soon as they settled. Linda didn't miss her daughter's eyes as she yearned for secludity. She wanted to talk to her further, but she also knew she needed to give her several minutes alone. And it wasn't like she had the time right now anyways, she had to help get dinner on the table, before the family started to get restless, and pester her.
Tayler took a seat at the foot of the stairs, hoping she managed to find a place that could be even semi-secluded, as she watched the Reagan's interact with one another. She hated being there, and all she wanted to do was get back to the secludity of the basement. It wasn't that any of the Reagans were being unkind to her. It was just the opposite, they were all being very welcoming, and seemed as if they didn't mind her being there. She just didn't want to take any chances, and put her heart out there to get trampled, like it did with her own family. She remembered the funeral, and how her grandparents treated her then, as well as before. Along with her father's brothers, who always told their brother that he should just send her to boarding school, so he could hit the night clubs more often, rather than saying he needed to go buy groceries, so Tayler would have food in the house. She remembered once, when she sat at the top of the stairs, so she could listen in to their conversation. She overheard her Uncle Rick tell her Dad that the best thing ever invented was boarding schools, because they didn't care about how many kids they had on hand, as long as they got the tuition check in the mail. She wasn't certain, but she had a feeling that was why she was so hesitant to say anything to Jamie, who wanted her to call him uncle. She didn't like her uncles, and she certainly didn't trust them. She guessed she needed to count herself lucky that Linda was interested in coming to get her, rather than family services just handing her over to one of her uncles. Because she knew what would have happened then, she would have been dropped off at the nearest and cheapest boarding school her uncle could find. She knew Jamie hadn't said anything, but that didn't keep her from wondering if he didn't have intentions of talking his brother into doing the same. And what made the whole thing worse, was the fact that if Danny really wanted to, he wouldn't even have to have Linda's signature, considering he had just as much custody of her as she did. She didn't think Jamie, or even Danny would do something like that. Both seeming as if they liked the other kids that were there. Then again, the other kids that were there were born Reagans, and the only reason she was there was because of her mother married a Reagan.
Pulling her away from her thoughts was a girl she noticed she hadn't met yet.
"Hi," Nicki took a seat on the stairs next to her.
Tayler shifted, doing her best to stay as far away as possible. She wasn't doing anything, aside from keeping her head down, and her hands in her lap.
"Hi," Tayler did manage to squeak out a reply.
"I'm Nicki, Danny's niece." Nicki introduced herself with a smile.
Tayler forced a smile in return, but she didn't know what to say, this wasn't her family, and she was intruding. "I'm the step kid." She finally managed to come up with a reply.
Nicki nodded, she was usually outgoing, and very easy to talk to. And she was doing her best to make conversation, but she was at a complete loss at the moment. Beginning to think it was going to turn into a one-sided conversation. Not really knowing how to reply to the step kid comment, Nicki decided to change the subject.
"So, I guess, you'll be going to the same school as me?"
"I guess," Tayler shrugged.
"I go to Blessed Hearts Academy. It's a parochial school."
"I don't think so, I'm not catholic. I went this morning, but that's only because I haven't managed to come up with a good argument why I shouldn't have to go." Tayler admitted.
"You might not be Catholic now, but you will be. Because the Reagans go to mass every Sunday, and we all have to attend parochial school." Nicki didn't think there was an excuse in the world that could get a Reagan out of mass or a parochial school. At least not if they wanted to live to see the following Sunday.
"I still don't think so," Tayler didn't sound happy, remembering everything her mother told her earlier.
"Do you know who you moved in with?" Was Nicki's only reply. "Because your parents will make you, trust me. I know Uncle Danny and Aunt Linda very well, and you have to be either sick, or working to get out of mass in this family. And Jack and Sean go to parochial school. The same as Aunt Linda and Uncle Danny did."
Tayler, who was getting annoyed with the conversation, knew that as much as she didn't like it, she knew the girl was right. Tayler knew better than to just be mean, unfortunately she couldn't think of any other way to get out of it, and to get Nicki to leave her alone. So, she decided that the best way to do that, was to ignore her.
It didn't take long for Nicki to catch on, that Tayler was through talking, and she eventually got up, and made her way into the kitchen to get a drink.
XXXXXXXX
Danny and Linda were both in the kitchen, when Nicki walked in. Linda was just checking the roast in the oven, while Danny chopped the cucumbers for the salad.
"Hey Nicki," Linda stopped her when she saw her. "Can you to do me a favor?"
"Sure," Nicki leaned against the kitchen counter, trying to swipe slices of cucumber when her uncle wasn't looking.
"Can you try to talk to Tayler? See if you can get her to loosen up. Make her feel like part of the family."
"I kind of already tried Aunt Linda," Nicki admitted, her face expression showing that it didn't turn out very well.
"And?" Linda was curious, especially after she saw the expression cross her nieces face.
"She didn't want to talk." Nicki shook her head. "And I don't think she likes me."
"What makes you say that?" Linda didn't understand how Nick could come to think that, after spending only a few minutes with her.
"I knew who she was, so when I went up to introduce myself, I introduced myself as Danny's niece." Nicki explained.
"And?" Linda asked again.
"She introduced herself as the step kid," Nicki explained.
Her explanation caused Danny to look up from his salad, and look at his wife, both of them wondering how they were ever going to get her to stop thinking as if she wasn't wanted.
"I didn't know what to say, so I changed the subject and said something about her going to the same school as me. Apparently, she didn't know she was going to be going to a parochial school." Nicki felt bad for dropping the bomb on her so suddenly. But she had to admit, she didn't think it was going to be a problem.
"We haven't really talked to her about school just yet," Linda knew it was something she was planning on doing that week, considering the school term would be starting very soon.
"I'm sorry," Nicki apologized, getting the feeling she really messed up, by causing a problem for them.
"It's okay," Linda placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I already knew it was something I was going to have to do anyways. At least with you mentioning it, maybe it will help her get used to the idea.
"She just kind of stopped talking after that, and I kind of got the impression that she wanted to be left alone." Nicki gave them the last bit of their short conversation.
"She's like that," Danny nodded. "You just have to ignore that and keep talking. If you do, she'll either engage you in conversation, or freak out." Danny remembered the trip home.
"What?" Nicki looked surprised.
"Nothing," Danny shook his head.
"Do you think you can try again?" Linda sounded desperate, to make her daughter feel comfortable. As she had a feeling that once her daughter adjusted she and Nicki would become friends.
Nicki was about to reply, when Danny interrupted. "Linda, don't push her. You can't make Tayler feel comfortable. And nothing Nicki says or does will help her adjust if she isn't ready."
"It's okay Uncle Danny," Nicki sighed. "I'll try again," Nicki was getting the feeling it was something her aunt really wanted.
"Thank you," Linda said as Nicki started to walk out of the kitchen to find Tayler.
XXXXXXXX
"Hey Tayler," Nicki found the girl, at the same place she left her. "Grandpa has some games we can play. And Uncle Jamie might even play with us, if we ask him."
"No thanks," Tayler didn't have to think about it before turning her down.
"Come on," Nicki pushed. "Uncle Jamie's a lot of fun."
"I appreciate you trying to get me involved," Tayler could see right through the girl's facade and what she was trying to accomplish. "But we don't have anything in common."
"We might," Nicki shrugged.
"Has your Uncle Danny or Uncle Jamie ever tried to tell your mom that she should just send you to boarding school, so she could be a single woman and hit the streets?" Tayler asked abruptly, confusing Nicki quite a bit, as she tried to figure out where her new cousin was going.
"No," Nicki said honestly. "My uncles love me."
"Then we don't have anything to talk about. Because that's what my uncle told my Dad." Tayler stood, so she could walk away.
"You don't have to go," Nicki stopped her. "I'll leave you alone." Nicki almost ran into Frank, in a hurry to get into the kitchen.
"Aunt Linda, I struck out again," Nicki shook her head. "I asked her if she wanted to play a game like we do sometimes. Thinking that maybe Uncle Jamie would play with us."
"What did she say?" Linda was trying to figure out how Nicki could have bombed out with that question.
"She asked me if Uncle Danny or Uncle Jamie ever tried to get mom to send me to boarding school so she could hit the streets." Nicki told them the part that confused her the most.
"What?" Danny finally spoke up. "Where would she get an idea like that."
"Apparently her uncle told her dad to send her to boarding school, so he could hit the night clubs with him." Nicki could tell he wasn't happy, and she didn't want to be placed in the shoot the messenger position.
"I'm really glad I don't know which uncle told her that," Danny looked at Linda.
"Me too," Linda agreed. Already knowing he'd kill them.
"I'm really sorry Aunt Linda," Nicki apologized again. "But I really don't know what else to say to her."
"It's okay Nicki," Linda sighed. "Thanks for trying."
"Do you need any help in here?" Nicki was starting to get hungry.
"You can finish the salad," Linda had an idea. "Because your uncle is going to go try and talk to Tayler."
"I am," Danny looked up.
"Please Danny," Linda looked at him, hoping he would give talking to her a try.
"You know, chances are she isn't going to like me any more than she likes Nicki. I'm going to be the one telling her what to do as time goes on."
"She'll like you," Nicki said with a small smile. "Even if you are annoying sometimes, when you want me to put my phone away at the table."
"Finish the salad," Danny dropped the knife and walked out of the kitchen to take a turn with his stepdaughter.
Tayler could see him coming, and she already knew what he was going to try to do. She really wished they would all just leave her alone, especially Danny. He made far too much sense when he talked, and it made her think. Even when she didn't want to.
"Scoot over," Danny looked at the space on the step.
Tayler shifted, and Danny took a seat next to her.
"Why aren't you trying to socialize?" He looked at her.
"Because I don't know any of them," Tayler's voice was low.
"You know your brothers," Danny reminded her. "And you've been around your Uncle Jamie several times."
"That doesn't mean I know him," Tayler knew what he was getting at it. And she knew he was right, even if she didn't want to admit it.
"Maybe not entirely," Danny nodded. "But he did do a lot of work, trying to get the basement set up for you. And you know he didn't have to. As for the rest of them, they really aren't that bad once you get use to them. Trust me, I've had to live with them."
"You mean to tell me, you don't like your sister?" Sure, Tayler didn't know Erin, but she seemed nice when she met her, then again, she had to remind herself that people could be deceiving.
"I tolerate my sister," Danny corrected her choice of words. "But only because my father would kill me if I didn't."
"You really mean to tell me you don't get along?" Tayler questioned, knowing that she had very seldom been around any siblings.
"Don't get me wrong, I love all my siblings," Danny wanted to be sure and explain it in a way that wouldn't confuse her, as well as in a way that didn't make him a liar. "But sometimes we have our moments of complete dislike."
"You mean you argue?" Tayler asked clarifying, not really understanding how you could do both.
"Give it time, and you'll see exactly what I mean, when it comes to you and your brothers." Was all Danny said.
"Time for dinner," Linda walked over, to where her daughter and husband were sitting.
"I'm not hungry," Tayler wasn't sure if she was lying. Or if she was just so nervous to sit at the table with all of them, that it was making her nauseous.
"Listen Tayler," Linda wanted to explain as gently as she could. "I'm not going to cook tonight after we get home. So, it's important you eat now."
"But I'm still not hungry," Tayler said pointedly.
"I understand that," Linda nodded, her eyes revealing a side of seriousness that she was hoping would cause her daughter to understand the matter better. "But you will sit at the table with everyone else.
"Yes Mam," Tayler sighed, before reluctantly following them into the dining room.
She was very hesitant to take a seat, and it caused her to stand back for several minutes, while she watched the Reagan's take their usual seats.
"Tayler," Erin was the one to get her attention. "You can sit right here." Erin gestured at the chair in between she and Nicki.
"Thank you," Tayler mumbled, being quick to take her seat and not be disruptive.
After Henry blessed the food, the family started to fill their plates. Erin, who noticed how hesitant Tayler was to reach for any of the food, refused to take no for an answer, and placed small portions of food on her niece's plate. Not wanting to be rude, Tayler quietly thanked her and took several small bites of everything. The food was good, and she was glad she decided to eat something. Everyone was being very kind to her, and she couldn't help but to just sit and watch the family in silence. They all seemed very close, she observed. The siblings, as well as the Commissioner with each of his children. It was certainly different than the relationship she had with her own father. The Commissioner she observed engaged in conversation with each of them and didn't appear to show any sort of favoritism or even comparison Amongst his offspring. He also seemed to genuinely love his grandchildren, he spoke with them, and never tried to ignore them, when they asked a question. Rather he seemed to enjoy trying to explain things in a manner they could understand. He seemed to enjoy having them around, both now and before when he brought her half-brothers home from keeping them when Danny and Linda went to get her. Something that was completely different than the relationship she had with her grandparents. In all the years she spent not living very far away from them, she never developed a relationship with them, simply because they were not interested, nor showed any affection towards her.
She was pulled out of her thoughts for a moment, when she heard her stepfather and his brother Jamie laughing out loud, she wasn't sure what they were laughing at, her thoughts were too distant. But she thought it had something to do with the way they were teasing their sister, considering she wasn't laughing at all.
She had never had any siblings before, so the relationship between her stepfather and Jamie surprised her. She remembered when the two were working together in the basement and how they would laugh but also start arguing all within five minutes of each other. But at the end of the day however, when it was all said and done. She could tell that they were still brothers. She didn't know about the relationship he had with his sister, but she remembered what her stepfather had told her earlier, as well as what they were laughing at now. She had her half-brother's now, and whereas they didn't necessarily like one another. There wasn't a measure of complete hate there, like there seemed to be originally, when she first arrived. At least they seemed to be tolerating one another now. But that was all she could say for their relationship at the moment.
She was exceptionally grateful that no one expected her to engage in the dinner table conversation. Rather she was pleased that she was able to get to know them in silence. She hadn't completely dropped her guard yet, and she knew she didn't trust them quite yet. Part of her still fearful that this first-time behavior was all for show, and they would eventually try to shove her out. Pushing the hurtful feeling aside, Tayler remembers what Danny told her earlier, and she secretly hoped that what he said was true. Maybe they weren't so bad after all.
XXXXXXXX
By the time dinner was over, Tayler was a bit more relaxed after she had her moment of silence at the table, and able to watch the family interact together. She was hoping they weren't acting like that simply because it was her first time. She didn't think it was but that didn't mean they wouldn't change later. She decided then and there that she might as well enjoy the time they were being welcoming, and at least socialize with them a bit. Thinking that if anything, it would make her mother and stepfather happy with her. She had offered to do the dishes, but they were quick to send her out of the kitchen, and tell her to join Nicki, Jamie and the boys outside. She really didn't feel like taking part in the game they were playing on the back porch, not just yet. But she didn't mind sitting on the back steps and watching.
Linda, who was looking for an opportunity to speak with Erin for a moment, didn't even mind doing the dishes. As long as they were able to talk about the new challenge Linda had taken on, in the raising of a teenage girl.
"Tayler seems to be well mannered," Erin was the one to bring it up.
"She does at that," Linda said truthfully, before hesitating for a moment. "It's just," she started to say.
"It's just what?" Erin asked.
"It's just a challenge is all," Linda paused in the middle of washing one of the wine glasses. "One minute, she can be open and nice, and the next she can be reserved, as well as impertinent."
"That's a teenager for you," Erin smiled, speaking from experience. "How have things been going for you so far?"
"We've had some good times," Linda admitted, thinking of how nice it was when she spoke to her regarding her past. "But this morning when it came to clothes, that was another story."
"How have things been with all three kids?" Erin knew that, that was bound to cause a few interesting conversations.
"Very different, I've never raised a teenager before." Linda's eyes widened a bit when she said it. "We want to raise Tayler the same as we are the boys. But," Linda hesitated again.
"But?" Erin placed the wine glass in the appropriate cabinet.
"We've talked to her about rules and such. But I'm sure there's going to be things we have to add. I wasn't sure where to start before, but after this morning I may have an idea." Linda blew out a breath, just thinking about it.
"Has that been the only challenge?" Erin asked curiously.
"If only," Linda shook her head. "I just wish she wasn't so hard to talk to. I have so many questions, that I really need answers to."
"Anything I can help with?" Erin could only imagine how she would feel if the situations were in reverse.
"I just don't know what she knows about sex education," Linda said carefully, after looking around, wanting to make sure Tayler wasn't around. "She's never grown up around a couple, and I doubt her father ever discussed it with her."
"Has she started her cycle?" Erin asked, knowing her niece was in the same age category as Nicki.
"I don't know?" Linda admitted. "I've wanted to ask her, it just seems like the right time has never come up."
"Hey," Danny joined them in the kitchen. "What you talking about?"
"Sex education," Erin replied, knowing her brother wouldn't feel too comfortable with that conversation topic.
"And that's my cue to leave," Danny stood, just as soon as he took a seat, at the kitchen table.
"You really need to be involved in this conversation," Linda stopped him. "She's your daughter too now. And you need to be involved in her education."
"Not that part of her education," Danny shook his head. "Besides, won't they be teaching that at the school?"
"They didn't in my day," Frank interrupted, after over hearing part of the conversation. "It was mostly trial and error."
"Well speaking as one of your errors," Danny started to say something, but was quickly cut off by his sister.
"I'm glad you finally see yourself for what you are," Erin teased.
"You were all wanted," Frank clarified for the both of them, before their teasing went any further.
XXXXXXXX
That night, by the time everyone was in bed, Tayler was overwhelmed. Not only because of the stress and anxiety she had been suffering from that day, but also because she was missing both her dad and her old home. With these mixed feelings mounting, Tayler took the opportunity to sneak out the backdoor and breathe in the fresh air. It was dark, and she couldn't see anything. But that didn't matter, she didn't go out there to see, rather she went out there to relax, hoping it would help her sleep.
She wasn't a hundred percent comfortable in her new home. Not just yet anyways, but she had to admit, she was more comfortable there than she was her old home, where there were so many rooms that were off limits to her. Where she was now, was a great deal different. Danny and Linda were both so welcoming, and never once told her about staying out of a certain part of the house. Her dad on the other hand, may not have been the greatest dad in the world, and they may not have talked much. But he was still her dad, and they understood one another. Which was the reason for the tears. At leash so she thought as she buried her face in her hands. She hadn't cried at all since she learned of her father's passing. And with the grief, as well as the anxiety she had been succumbed to that day. Was too much, for the thirteen-year-old girl to keep inside any longer. She was glad everyone was in bed, and no one knew she was out there. For one, she didn't think Linda approve. And two, she wanted to be left alone in her grief.
Linda was just closing the book she had been reading, preparing to turn the lamp off, when she looked over at her husband.
"Go check on the kids," Linda nudged Danny.
"The kids are fine," Danny who had been trying to sleep for the past fifteen minutes rolled over. "They've been asleep for more than an hour."
"Danny," she nudged him again, only this time much harder.
"Call it a mother's intuition. My mom ears are on." Linda tried to justify her reasoning.
"Then why don't you go check on them?" Danny looked at her confused.
"Because it's easier for you to slip on your pajama pants, then me having to fumble with getting my robe out or looking for a bra." Linda figured she made a valid point.
Danny sighed, but after coming to the conclusion that he wouldn't get any sleep unless he did what his wife wanted, he finally decided to get up, to do her bidding.
Since the boy's rooms were not far from his own, Danny stopped but their rooms first. Just as he expected, they were both fast asleep. He was just about to make his way down the basement stairs, when he decided to stop by the kitchen first for a glass of water. He knew he had locked the back door, before going up to bed, so he thought it odd that he found it unlocked. Glancing out the window, he discovered why. It was his stepdaughter, sitting outside in her pajamas, her face still buried in her hands. He had his hand on the door knob and was on the verge of going after her. But something inside, made him stop. He could tell she had been crying, but he also noticed she seemed to be gathering her wits about her once again. He stayed outside the door for several minutes, glancing to check on her occasionally. When it appeared that she would be coming in soon, Danny finally escaped back up the stairs, without becoming detected.
"What took you so long?" Linda asked.
"It was Tayler," Danny replied crawling back under the covers.
"Tayler?" Linda sounded surprised. Knowing that she hardly ever left the comfort zone she found in the basement.
"She was in the backyard," Danny laid his head back down on the pillow.
"The backyard?" Linda knew she didn't like her children outside alone after dark. "I hope you told her to come back in."
"No, I didn't," Danny was already expecting his wife to get upset.
"Why not?" Linda knew very well that her husband knew how she felt.
"Because she was crying," Danny sat up, giving up on trying to sleep that night.
"And you didn't go to her?" Linda started to get out of bed, so she could hurry down the stairs.
"Linda," Danny stopped her. "If I would have went out there, she just would have retreated back into her shell."
"You don't know that?" Linda started to dig through her drawers for her robe.
"Linda," Danny started to get out of bed again, figuring that was the only way he was going to keep her from running down the stairs. "She only knows me as the man that married her mom. And she needs time to grieve."
Linda sighed, and took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I hate it when you're right. And I hate this, I know how she feels."
"You mean when you had to leave her behind?" Danny took a seat next to her.
"Yes," Linda was trying to keep her own tears from falling, but she had to admit, it was proving to be difficult. "I remember crying myself to sleep, night after night because I missed my child."
"I can't pretend to know how you feel," Danny didn't know what else to say. He knew how much his wife loved the boys, and he knew she had to have that same love for Tayler as well.
"I just wish she knew how much I love her, and how much it hurt me to let her go." Linda leaned her head against his, when he wrapped her arm around her.
"Give her time, and I'm sure she will come around." Danny assured her.
"You really think so?" Linda asked hopeful.
"She already seemed to be doing better after dinner," Danny reminded her. "Maybe she came to realize that what we were telling her was true. And that my family really isn't that bad once you get to know them."
That night, after allowing herself to grieve, Tayler found herself able to sleep soundly. She still missed her father, and she was still hesitant regarding all the changes and the new relationships she was having to form with Danny, Linda and the rest of the Reagans. But at least she felt as if she was finally willing to accept a new way of life. She knew she wasn't willing to become completely trusting of them yet, and she knew that she was going to be faced with a great deal of challenges, that they were going to impose on her. But she did think there was a chance, that perhaps they weren't the enemy after all. She had no idea where these thoughts were coming from, but she did know that her feelings of distrust were beginning to betray her.
Hope you all enjoyed the update, thanks for all the follows, favorites, and reviews... JusticeStandsTRUE