AN: Happy Thanksgiving to my readers who are celebrating the holiday. To those who aren't, Happy Thursday!
So, this story is officially completed. I finished it last night, so other than maybe some editing the story is done except for posting (which will be frequent). Thanks to all the readers showing support through reviews, favs, and alerts. I appreciate it all. Hope you all enjoy the journey and my Christmas Gift to my readers in this fandom this year.
Elizabeth found herself humming "Silent Night" as she erased the afternoon math lesson from the board. It had been a good day. For the most part, the kids had been excited about the books and even the writing assignment she had given them. The plan was to read The Christmas Carol as a class over the next couple of weeks. She then wanted the children to write down a memory from Christmas past, their plans for Christmas present, and the hopes for a Christmas future. The youngest children, like Byrony or Ivy would simply need to write those three things out in a list form. From the older kids, she told them she expected them in essay form as varying word lengths.
The only child who had not seemed excited over the assignment had been Ally. However, Ally did not seem to be excited by school in general theses days. Or perhaps, Elizabeth conceded, it was her school teacher who was the problem and not school itself.
The fact that Ally had been hurt in all the relationship drama was Elizabeth's biggest regret. More than once she had found herself wondering how she could have handled things differently. Had there been some way to handle everything so that a young girl's heart hadn't been trampled? If Little Jack had been older, then how would he have fared with everything?
Elizabeth had tried a few times to talk to Ally. She had wanted to apologize to Ally and attempt to start bridging the rift between her and the young girl. Elizabeth knew things would never be the same between her and Ally. The bond that she had formed with the girl had been destroyed. Her memory of the dinner invitation being ripped up told her that. Elizabeth knew that she had failed the young girl. She had stepped into a role of a mother figure with Ally without realizing it. It was only natural that Ally would start dreaming a family. Every child wanted a father and a mother to love them and support them. Ally was no different in that.
Unable to face her own hurts and fears, Elizabeth had not even considered Ally's feelings. She had unintentionally crushed the child's hopes. Even though she couldn't have given Ally what she wanted, there were gentler ways of letting the child know. Ways that could have helped Ally understand the situation, rather than just feeling hurt by everything. Now, Ally kept herself distant. She was polite and respectful but Elizabeth felt the tension in every interaction with the girl. Given Ally's friendship with Opal, that tension had bled into Elizabeth's relationship with Opal as well.
Elizabeth wanted to restore that relationship. She wanted Ally to know that she would always be special to her and that Ally could come to her for help. However, Elizabeth was not sure how to do that. She wasn't even sure it was possible at this point.
Finishing with the board, Elizabeth turned from it. Gathering her things, Elizabeth put on her coat, hat, and gloves. Picking up her basket, she started down the aisle. As she reached the first row, she paused. A book had been left behind. Reaching out, Elizabeth found that it was one of the copies of The Christmas Carol she had handed out.
Elizabeth looked up from the book to the empty bench seat. It had been occupied by Opal, Byrony and Ally. As the book was closer to the window then the aisle, Elizabeth figured it was either Byrony or Ally's copy. Elizabeth found herself thinking back to watching her students leave. She clearly remembered Byrony leaving with her copy as it had been the only book the girl had with her. Mrs. Weise was going to get Opal's old school books out of storage today for Byrony to use. That meant the book was most likely Ally's copy.
Elizabeth had a feeling that the gift had not been left by accident.
Knowing that Laura would stay with Jack if she was a few minutes late, Elizabeth headed into town when she left the schoolhouse. She was not sure if Nathan would be in the office but she hoped he would be. She knew that stopping by his house was out of the question. She had caused both Nathan and Ally enough pain as it was, and somehow showing up at their front door for whatever reason seemed like it would be rubbing salt in the wound she had caused.
Coming into town, Elizabeth's eyes drifted to the saloon. A month ago, Elizabeth knew she probably would have made a detour, either before or after her errand, to see Lucas. She knew she should want to make that detour. How many times had she found her way into the Mounted Police Office just to see Jack when they were courting?
Instead of the desire to see Lucas though, the sight of the Queen of Hearts had her wondering if the rumors she had heard were true. Was Lucas really flirting with the out of town women and his new waitresses? Lucas certainly had only eyes for her when she was with him but what about when she wasn't around? Elizabeth had not forgotten her first meeting with Lucas almost three years ago. They had been complete strangers but that had not stopped him from flirting with her at least until he had heard the children call her Mrs. Thornton. Lucas had at least then had the manners to stop flirting and apologize.
Surely that would mean he would have the manners not to flirt while he was courting someone?
The lingering doubt that there was truth to the rumors kept Elizabeth focused on her task, staying on the opposite side of the street as she made her way to the Mounted Police Office. Walking in, she found Nathan behind his desk typing something.
Nathan had looked up at the sound of the door opening. At the sight of Elizabeth, he got to his feet.
"Mrs. Thornton, may I help you with something?" Nathan asked politely.
Since she had told him that she was not in love with him, Nathan had gone back to addressing her formally. Elizabeth found that she missed hearing him say her name.
Getting a hold of her emotions, Elizabeth looked down at the book she still held. The book that was the reason she had come.
"Ally left this at school this afternoon," Elizabeth said, holding up the book. "I started a project with The Christmas Carol today. We're reading it together in class and then the students have a writing assignment. I gave all the students a copy of The Christmas Carol as an early Christmas gift. This copy was sitting on the bench Ally sits in," she explained, holding it out.
Nathan did not reach out for the book. With one hand on his hip, he ran the other hand through his hair.
"Well, that explains why Ally asked me if she could borrow my copy of The Christmas Carol," Nathan said.
"So, she did leave it behind on purpose," Elizabeth said, letting her hand fall, the book resting against the skirt of her dress. She hadn't realized just how much she had been clinging to the hope that the book had just been forgotten.
"I am sorry, Elizabeth," Nathan said, sincerity in his voice. "I know this has been hard on you but Ally is still hurting as well. She is still just a child, no matter how grown up she thinks she is, and she had her hope of a family dashed."
"You mean I crushed her hope of a family," Elizabeth said.
"You cannot feel something that you don't. I understand that. I respect that. In time, Ally will come to realize that as well but right now she is still hurting. She needs time to heal. I should have been more careful. I did not realize how invested she had gotten in the idea of us. It is a mistake that I do not intend to make again."
Elizabeth nodded.
"What do you suggest I do about the book?" Elizabeth asked, looking up at Nathan. She had no desire to hurt Ally any further either.
"I can't tell you what to do, Elizabeth. If you would like to try giving it to her again, then I am not going to stop you. However, I would prefer that you didn't. Ally tried to return the gift Lucas gave her at the adoption ceremony. He insisted she keep it. Ned told me that she eventually came to him asking how much it would cost to mail the package to Lucas. Ned told her not to worry about the postage and he would take care of it for her. I know your feelings are hurt because she left a gift that you wanted all your students to have but I ask that you respect her feelings. I told her where my copy of the book is, so she intends on participating in the school project. I think it is best that we leave it at that."
Elizabeth looked down at the book in her hand. Nathan's words made sense. She certainly did not want to keep causing Ally pain.
"I will hold on to the book," Elizabeth finally said. "Perhaps next year she might be more receptive to receiving it."
"If we're here next year," Nathan replied.
Elizabeth looked up quickly. "I thought you had decided to settle here in Hope Valley?"
Nathan shrugged. "Plans change. I did not go through with buying Bill's land and things are changing around here. Ally and I have talked about me possibly putting in a request for a transfer. I think the only reason she is hesitant to leave these days is because of Robert but it looks like Robert will be signing up for the Mounties in the spring. Ally made a comment about being able to write to him from anywhere."
"You would be okay with her marrying a Mountie?" Elizabeth asked, cringing as soon as the words were out of her mouth knowing how critical the question sounded.
"I know the Mountie lifestyle is not for everyone, but Ally knows better than most exactly what she would be getting into, so yes, when she is old enough to make that choice, if she wanted to marry a Mountie, I would give her my blessing if I was sure the two of them were truly in love. However, that is still a few years away."
Elizabeth nodded. Her own family's reaction to her wanting to marry Jack came back to her. She remembered the pain of their rejection as well as the joy she had felt when her father had come to Hope Valley for their wedding.
"That is how it should be," Elizabeth commented. "I never should have asked that question."
Nathan nodded.
"I should get home. Laura will be expecting me."
"Have a good evening, Mrs. Thornton," Nathan said politely with a nod in her direction.
"You as well, Na . . . Constable," Elizabeth told him, turning and leaving the office.
Outside, she slipped the book into her basket. As much as she wanted Ally to have the book, for now Elizabeth planned on simply holding onto the book. She hoped that someday Ally would be willing to accept the book from her but like Nathan said, you couldn't make someone feel something that they did not feel. Feelings could change though. Elizabeth knew that all too well.
Sitting on the edge of Ally's bed, Nathan played 'O' Come All Ye Faithful' on his guitar and sang while Ally laid in bed. Normally, this time before bed was spent reading together. Tonight though, Ally had asked him to play for her and Nathan could not refuse.
"I remember Mom singing that song to me when I was little. At least I think it was Mom," Ally said, as the song came to an end. "It was a woman's voice but I don't even remember Mom's face so maybe it wasn't."
"Your Mom use to sing to you all the time," Nathan assured her. "I have no doubt that you are remembering her voice. In fact, 'O' Come All Ye Faithful' was her favorite Christmas Carol. I am sure she sang it to you hundreds of times."
"Do you think that me wanting a new mother is why I have such a hard time remembering Mom? Do you think I hurt her feelings with that longing?" Ally asked, with a trembling voice and tears in her eyes.
Nathan placed the guitar down against the bed and then reached down to gather Ally in his arms. "No My Little Rose," Nathan told her. "You find it hard to remember your mother because you were so young when you lost her. As for your desire to have a mother figure in your life, your Mom would understand that longing probably better than I do. It is natural for a young girl who is turning into a woman would want a mother figure to talk to and ask questions of. I even think your Mom would be happy if someday there was someone in your life that could fill the role of mother for you. I can be a lot of things to you, Ally, but I know I cannot fill that role."
"I know you do your best," Ally told him. "I know you love me, more than my birth father did. Even more than I want a mother, I want you to be happy, Uncle Nathan. Like you were before Fort Clay. You were getting there and then Mrs. Thornton went and made you sad again."
Nathan closed his eyes, as he continued to hold Ally close. What did he say to her? How could he make her understand that broken hearts did heal with time? That sometimes, when you loved someone who could not return those feelings, that it hurt until you finally found a way to move on, if you ever did?
"Ally, sometimes when we love someone the hardest thing to do is to let them go but we have to because it is what is best for them. I am sorry that you got hurt in all of this. I feel like I failed you. However, Mrs. Thornton needed to follow her own heart. We still have each other and I promise you that with time, we will both feel happy again. You are the only person that I truly need in my life. As long as I have you, I will be okay. I love you, Ally."
"I love you, too," Ally told him.
The two were quiet for a while, simply holding on to one another. Each drawing comfort from the other.
Finally, Ally pulled back a little. She looked up at Nathan.
"I may not have a Mom, but would it be okay if I started calling you Dad instead of Uncle Nathan?"
Nathan swallowed hard. Even though the adoption was official, Ally had continued to call him Uncle Nathan. He had been fine with that even though he thought of her as his daughter. He had for years. Dylan Parks definitely did not deserve the privilege of referring to Ally as his daughter. The man did not deserve the title of father either, though he would never let Ally hear him utter those words. That was her choice to make. Just like it had been her choice to continue to call him Uncle Nathan.
Now she wanted to call him Dad. Nathan's vision blurred as the tears filled his eyes.
"I did not mean to make you cry," Ally said reaching up to wipe tears of his cheeks. "Forget I asked if it makes you sad."
"I am not sad, Ally," Nathan finally managed to get out. "The fact that you want to call me Dad makes me very happy," he told her, pulling her close again.
They had each other. No matter what happened, Nathan knew everything would be okay as long as they had each other.