Nathan was unsure of how much time had passed since he had started his vigil at Ally's bedside. Nor did he care. He planned on staying right where he was, one of Ally's hands in his, until she opened her eyes.
Despite the coming and going around him of people, no one had attempted to get him away from the bedside. Both Gabriel and Bill had stopped by to check on him. Carson had gone to get dinner. When he came back, Faith had left. She had come back with something for him, but Nathan had been unable to eat more than a few bites of the meal. Carson had gone upstairs to sleep in his old apartment above the infirmary that had remained empty since he had left, Faith choosing to stay in the row house. Faith was sitting in a chair by the desk and Gabriel was currently stretched out, sleeping in the cot beside Ally's. However, none of them had made the pointless suggestion that he leave Ally's side for which Nathan was glad.
For the first time, Nathan understood his mother's steadfast refusal to leave Colleen's bedside as they waited for her to regain consciousness after she had fallen down the steps. Though his sister had regained consciousness, Colleen had never left the hospital after that fall. She had passed away in her hospital bed following that accident. Despite Colleen's insistence that she had simply slipped, Nathan had always had doubts about it. Doubts that only intensified after Dylan had just up and left. However, he had no proof. Even as he had sat by Colleen's bedside watching her slip away from them, all she would say was that she slipped. As she and Dylan had been the only two present, Ally taking an afternoon nap, and both maintained Colleen had slipped and fell down the stairs, nothing else could be done.
Now, Nathan sat keeping vigil once again on a family member who had suffered a serious injury. Despite what he had said to Elizabeth, Nathan had no doubt that this had been an accident. An accident that could have very well happened on a Saturday while playing with her friends instead of during school hours. No one was at fault. Perhaps nothing could have been done to prevent it. However, Nathan still could not bring himself to leave Ally's side again until she woke up and spoke to him. Not even the feeling that Gabe and Bill were keeping something important from him. Something that he was not going to like. For now though, Nathan intended on letting them leave him in the dark. He trusted them both. They would clue him in when they thought it was necessary, though Gabe's insistence that he was staying at the infirmary with him tonight, and was still in uniform, Nathan knew was significant. There was another danger and other than recognizing that fact, Nathan knew he could not deal with it. Not today. Too much had already happened today.
The hand he held moved slightly. Or perhaps he had imagined it moved as Ally's hand lay still in his again. However, it had caught his attention and Nathan scooted forward in his chair and searched Ally's face. Movement behind him told Nathan that his movement had caught Faith's attention. Ally's eyelids fluttered.
"Ally, can you hear me," Nathan said softly, reaching out with his other hand and brushing his finger tips across her cheek.
At the touch, Ally's eyes fluttered again. "Dad," she murmured as she struggled to keep her eyes open.
"I am right here, My Little Rose," Nathan told her.
Nathan felt a brief touch on his shoulder. "I am going to wake Carson," Faith told him quietly before hurrying toward the stairs.
"I got to see, Mom," Ally told him. "She held me. Told me everything would be okay but that I needed to come back to you. She said she did not want you to be alone."
Nathan felt his breath catch. Not long ago he would have just figured that Ally had experienced a dream while she was under. However, Saturday's experience with Little Jack in the woods with the toddler saying his Dad had told him to stay put and then seeing the flash of red himself, made Nathan not so quick to dismiss what Ally was saying. Perhaps Colleen really had come to be with her daughter during the surgery.
"I am glad," Nathan replied. "I am not ready to give you up just yet," he told her, struggling to keep his voice steady.
"I am tired."
Nathan smiled, as his fingers brushed her cheek again. "You have had a long, tough day. I think you are entitled to feeling tired."
"But I have not been awake for most of it," Ally commented, her eyes closing briefly before she opened them again.
"That does not matter. Your body has been through a trauma and healing takes energy," Nathan told her, hoping he was explaining things to her in a way she could understand.
"I could not have explained that better myself," Carson chimed in coming into the room. The doctor made his way to the side of Ally's bed that Nathan was not on. He was not about to take away the support that Nathan was giving the girl right then. "Other than tired how are you feeling, Ally?" Carson asked as he sat down on the edge of the bed. Reaching out for Ally's other hand, he found her pulse in the wrist.
"My head hurts. Actually, it hurts more than it did before."
Carson nodded. "The surgery I performed would be the cause of that. The pain should start to ease up over the next day or two," the doctor told her. "Can you tell me the date?"
Ally recited the date for him and then looked at Nathan. "I do not think I am going to feel up to decorating the tree like we planned."
"I think Opal will understand the postponement," Nathan told her.
"Ally, do you remember how you got hurt?" Carson asked.
"I tried to walk a log and I slipped," Ally said. She paused, a concerned look on her face. "I do not remember what happened after that. Is that a problem?"
Carson shook his head. "That is not a problem," he assured her.
"My legs feel funny too," Ally commented.
"Funny how?" Carson asked.
Nathan felt his heart start to beat faster. On the other side of Carson, Gabriel had woken up and was sitting up on the side of the cot he was occupying. There had been no mention of any leg injuries earlier. Had Faith missed something in her initial assessment? Carson had been focused on the head injury since his arrival.
"Like they are numb or something," Ally supplied.
Carson nodded as he calmly pulled the blanket down. He went to ask Faith for an instrument to find that she was already holding out to him what he was going to ask for.
"Thank-you," Carson told her before turning his attention to Ally. Using the instrument Faith had handed him, Carson soon determined that Ally had no feeling or movement in either leg. Using his hands, he checked again for any broken bones. He physically moved the legs and ankles looking for any obvious injury.
"Will I walk again?" Ally asked fearfully as Carson pulled the blanket back up.
Carson gave the girl a smile. His gaze drifted over to Nathan momentarily, silently asking the father's permission to answer the question. Nathan nodded his consent.
"I do not see any physical indication of an injury, Ally. That means that whatever is causing the loss of feeling and movement in your legs is nerve related. The signals are not getting from your brain to your legs for some reason. I won't lie to you. It could be permanent. However, there is also a lot of swelling still in your skull. It could be that once that goes away, the feeling could return. We just need to wait and see."
Ally looked from the doctor to Nathan. "Do you think God is punishing me because I would not forgive Mrs. Thornton? I rejected the gift she gave to all of us. Then I was going to ignore Anna's dare to walk the log but Mrs. Thornton told us to be careful. I did not want to listen to her so I took the dare," Ally said, tears filling her eyes.
Nathan squeezed the hand he was holding as he placed his other hand against her cheek. "God is not punishing you. What happened was an accident. It is not your fault."
"I would say God was looking out for you today Ally," Faith supplied, standing behind Nathan as she talked to the girl. "He made sure Robert was there to pull you out of that water quickly. Cody was there to come to town for help and he made sure Carson came back to Hope Valley to help you."
"That doesn't sound like God is punishing you now does it?" Nathan asked Ally, thankful for Faith's words.
"No," Ally said as Carson wiped tears away with a handkerchief. "I still have not been very forgiving. Do you think Mrs. Thornton would come see me so I could apologize for leaving the book she gave us?"
"Yes, Ally. I think if Mrs. Thornton knew you wanted to see her that she would come," Nathan replied. He also knew that he had some forgiveness to ask of Elizabeth himself. He never should have blamed her for Ally's accident.
"Would you ask her to come?"
Nathan nodded. "As soon as Dr. Shepherd says it is okay for you to have visitors I will ask Mrs. Thornton to come see you," he promised.
"Tonight though, I think we all need to try to get what rest we can," Carson said. "Especially you, young lady. Your body has a lot of healing that it needs to do. Rest is the best cure for that."
"I won't be alone, will I?" Ally asked, the question full of fear.
"No," Carson assured her, before Nathan could say anything. "Either Dr. Carter or I will be close by all night. I also doubt if we could get your Dad to leave this room tonight," Carson replied. Lowering his voice in a conspiratorial manner he added, "though I think I may need your help in convincing him to get a few hours of sleep in that bed beside yours," he added, nodding to the bed that Gabriel had been using.
Ally looked in that direction, seeing Gabriel for the first time. "Mr. Gabe!"
"Hey there, Ally," Gabriel said. "Perhaps I could sit by your side while your Dad uses this bed tonight. Would that be okay?"
"Yes,' Ally replied. She slowly turned her head to Nathan. "You need rest too."
"I will get some rest," Nathan promised her. "The only thing I want you to concern yourself with is getting better," Nathan told her. "Why don't you close your eyes and try to sleep now, Ally?"
With a small smile on her face, Ally did close her eyes, her hand grasping Nathan's. It was not long before her breathing started to take on the even rhythm of sleep, and her grip loosened.
The next day, Laura showed up despite school having been cancelled. The young woman told Elizabeth that she wanted to be near in case Elizabeth wanted to get some fresh air or just needed some time alone. With Laura at the house, Rosemary finally left telling Elizabeth she would check in with her that evening.
Despite Laura being there to watch Jack, Elizabeth stayed home that morning. Lee had brought word that morning that Ally had woke up, and while mentally she seemed fine, there was paralysis of the legs. It was unclear if it was temporary or permanent. The only place she really wanted to go was to check on Nathan and Ally. However, Lee had said Carson did not want a lot of visitors just yet. Even then, Elizabeth doubted that her visit would be welcomed. Ally had already been upset with her and Nathan's words from the day before still stung. The last thing she wanted to do was cause either one of them more pain.
Near lunch time, Elizabeth decided to take a short walk. She was hoping the walk might give her time to sort out her jumbled feelings. The plan was to have class tomorrow. This had affected all of her students. What did she tell them? Did she try to have a typical school day or did she give her students time to express their feelings? Would any of them be able to concentrate on schoolwork if she did hold class?
Though her walk did not help her sort out anything about the situation with Nathan and Ally, Elizabeth had come to a decision about school. She would give the students time to express how they felt. Perhaps they could make get well cards for Ally. There was also the Christmas Carol to finish reading. Elizabeth determined she would be flexible with her plans, though she would not try to make it a typical school day. There was nothing typical about this situation.
The one thing Elizabeth had not thought about had been her last conversation with Lucas. She knew it could not be ignored but Elizabeth also was hoping to avoid dealing with it for a little bit. As she approached her home though, Elizabeth knew avoiding it would not be possible. The first indication of that was the lit candle with a single rose siting on the edge of the path near her home. Half expecting Lucas to be waiting for her, Elizabeth went inside. The only two in sight were Laura and her son. Jack was on his rocking horse that Lee and Rosemary had gotten him last year. Laura was hovering nearby in case the boy lost his balance.
"Mr. Bouchard stopped by," Laura said, looking over at Elizabeth. "He left a card for you. It is on your desk."
Elizabeth slipped her gloves off as she crossed to the desk. Picking up the card, she saw simply her name written across the front. Flipping it open she read:
Please join me for lunch. Humble pie is on the menu. Just follow the candles and the roses.
Lucas had simply signed his name. The fact that no expressions of love had been written stuck out to Elizabeth. Part of her did not want to go. The other part of her knew that it might be better just to go talk to Lucas and get it over with.
"Can you get Jack his lunch, Laura?"
"Of course Mrs. Thornton."
"I will be back shortly," Elizabeth told her. Though she would answer the invitation, she had no intention of actually having lunch with Lucas. A date given what had happened the day before did not seem appropriate.
Elizabeth slipped her gloves back on as she headed outside. As she started walking the road toward the town, she saw that the candle and rose by her house were not the only one. Every few feet, another candle and rose had been placed by the edge of the path.
Half way to town Elizabeth stopped. She turned and looked toward the schoolhouse. The memory of another candle-strewn path came flooding back to her. That one had led from the café to the schoolhouse and had ended in a sea of candles in the schoolyard. Jack had been waiting for her and he had proposed to her.
Suddenly a realization hit her. She had told Nathan she had been looking for Jack in him but that wasn't true. Like Lee had suggested, all she saw of Jack when she looked at Nathan was the uniform and the pain of the loss she had suffered. The pain of Jack being away in the Northern Territories. The fear she had felt searching the line of Mounties coming back from that conflict. The pain of losing Jack while on a training mission.
The truth was, she had been seeing Jack in Lucas with his grand romantic gestures and uses of candles. Those had been the happy memories she had with Jack. The feelings that she wanted to remember. The memories that felt safe.
It wasn't Lucas that she loved but the connection that he gave her to Jack. When she looked at Lucas, she was not reminded of the job that had taken Jack from her twice, the second time permanently.
Turning from the schoolhouse, Elizabeth started toward the town again with hurried footsteps. The world around her blurred with the tears that filled her eyes. She needed to speak to Lucas but the Queen of Hearts was no longer her destination. Elizabeth knew there was someone else she needed to pour her heart out to first.