October 2018
"Can I ask you something?" Olivia asks as she lays across my bed as I am folding Owens clean laundry.
"Of course," I say turning to her.
"How did you know?" She asks quietly.
"How did I know what?" I say back confused.
"About Owen in the beginning?" She words carefully.
"Oh, Oh!" I say mouth dropping. "Do you think?" I sink onto my little bed next to her after closing my door fully.
"I don't know? I don't think I am but I missed my period and Robert was here for Thanksgiving and that was two weeks ago, and it should have come like it was supposed to? I keep telling myself that it is mostly just a fluke, that the pill sometimes does this? I'm too scared to come clean to mom, part of me is worried she'll ship me off to my dad's. Which is ludicrous in every idea of the thought, since he's gone M.I.A, once child support cheque and poof its too hard again?"
"Well, I wasn't feeling well, I felt off? But maybe you're just stressed?" I say frowning. "Do you want to go buy a test?" I ask her next.
"I have one actually, I've just been…" she chews on her lips trying to choose the right word.
"Scared?" I say holding her hand.
"You must have been out of your mind?" Olivia says squeezing my hand.
"I didn't think it would turn positive, I was sure that it wouldn't but then it did and then it hit me. I didn't just get a free tee-shirt, I got the whole damn prize package from having sex." I chuckle and sigh at that idea.
"What would I do if it is positive?" She asks groaning.
"Well, you have the same options I did, but you also have a first-hand look of what it's like being a teen mom?" I tell her and go hunt around the bathroom, bringing back some old cup I found under the sink.
"Plus I don't think your mom would kick you out, I mean mine freaked out and never once uttered those words to me. Your mom is much more relaxed than mine," I remind her.
Olivia smiles weakly and slumps down on my pillows.
"Go pee in this and we'll do this," I tell her, looking at my phone wondering how long we had until Ken dropped off Owen.
We sit on the bathtub with the test up on the counter. It was giving me flashbacks, how long it felt, but really it was barely over a year ago.
"I can't look at it," Olivia says her legs shaking.
"It's negative," I say with a sigh. Showing her as she lets out a breath she had been holding.
"Are you sure?" She asks.
"That's what it says," I say simply. "How late are you?"
"Over a week," She says.
"It would show up if you were, I mean you can go ask dad about it if you want?" I tell her.
"I rather not," she says. "How do we destroy the evidence?"
"I'll do it," I tell him, taking the box and ripping it up and wrapping everything up in toilet paper.
"Can Olivia sleep over?" I ask mom. "Her mom and Kwan went to Halifax for something and left her home alone. Which isn't much a problem but it's getting late and she feeling a little more uncertain about it tonight?"
"We have photo's in the morning," Mom says frowning, not wanting to leave a frightened teen to go home alone.
"I know, she'll bike home in the morning before we leave," I tell her.
"And what about the baby?" Mom asks.
"What about her? It's not like I'm just going to forget about her?" I ask confused.
"Won't she bother Olivia?" Mom asks. "Your siblings should be here soon, so the spare rooms are taken."
"Olivia sees me looking like a zombie every day, I don't think she considers Owen to be a problem," I say. "We'll be fine, Owen's been good so far this week, I can come downstairs in the morning so she can sleep some more if she's that fussy?"
"Well, tell her parents so they don't go calling the house or whatnot," Mom relents.
"They don't have a home phone, but she'll text them to let them know she's spending the night. I'm going to raid Nan's old clothes for some pj's, and something clean for tomorrow," I tell her. "Can you let Ken in when he gets here?" I call out as I race back upstairs.
"I'm not you servant Rilla!" Mom calls out.
"Please!" I call back out to her running up the stairs.
We were both in loungewear when Ken came knocking at my door around eight pm. "The little princess has returned," he jokes. "She's freshly bathed and getting hungry," he tells me passing her over. "Do you need a ride home Olivia I'm heading out that way to see some friends?"
"I'm good thank you, gonna camp out here tonight," she tells him.
"Well, I'll be on my way, I'll meet you at the patch tomorrow?" He looks at me.
"Wear plaid," I nod my head from my spot on my bed.
"I got the memo," Ken says with a half of a smile. "See you tomorrow munchkin,' he said kissing Owens cheek. "Have a good night," he says to both of us before leaving.
I look to Olivia, who raises an eyebrow. "Has the permafrost been penetrated? God, should I have saved that test for you?"
"Ugh, don't say that P-word," I make a face. "Don't go thinking we hooked up or anything in Toronto, that is not at all what happened and you know that."
"Well, he just seemed in a good mood that's all," Olivia says with a smirk. "Like an 'I just got laid' mood?"
"Well, if he did, it wasn't with me," I say. "Anyway, I think he's seeing someone?" I say quietly. It stung a bit when I realized, and I kept that information to myself until now.
"You think he's dating?" She tells almost shrieks
"Shh, calm almost sleeping baby," I hush her carefully take Owen from the car seat and sit back on the bed ready to feed her. "I was dropping Owen off and some girl was leaving the building. She sorta gives me this look of surprise before hurrying to her car. Plus there were two glasses on the table from the night before?" I explain what I saw from the doorway I dropped Owen off.
"Well I doubt she is prettier than you," Olivia tries to make me feel better. She knows what went down in Toronto after all. She is the main confidant of my secrets, beyond Beth my counsellor who I see every other week still. I smile weakly, I can't contradict her, to say that she was because she would only shush me for being so hard on myself. "But maybe it's for the best? It's easier to accept something when it's logically out of reach?"
"Do you want to go find something to snack on?" I ask her abruptly. "We can probably watch a movie with the twins after this one is finished?"
"Sure," Olivia says nodding her head. "So we're sure?" She asks once more.
"I'm pretty sure you're fine," I tell her nodding my head.
I bring the baby monitor downstairs once Owen was in her crib. The majority of my siblings were in the basement. Shirley and Wynnie were cuddling on the love seat, while Di sat in one of the chairs, while Nan was on her phone in the other. The only people that were missing were Jem and Faith who were over at her family's house for the evening.
Walter and Rye were sprawled out on the couch. I grabbed some of the old bean bags for Olivia and me as they were just starting a new movie.
Owen was surprisingly good for the majority of the night, only waking up once at her usual 3 am feed. To which Olivia managed to sleep through, on her small side of my small bed somehow. When morning came, and all of us kids were arguing over coffee cups and cereal bowls as we yawned as Jem and Faith made their appearance. I gladly let Jem take Owen as I ate my breakfast.
I waved Olivia goodbye before the chaos of what life was like with a large family the game of rock paper scissors began of who got to shower first. I shook my head, objecting that I just needed a rinse off as I washed my hair the other day.
"Are you ready for your first time at the pumpkin patch?" I ask Owen as I was dressing her in her pair of overalls. Buttoning the crotch of them before pulling pretending to nibble on her little feet that she kicked up into the air.
"Nom nom nom," I laugh and then laugh at her baby giggle. I pick her up and place her on my hip. Grabbing her white knitted, bear-eared hat that Aunt Marilla had knitted me years ago. It took a round of washing was still looking almost new even if it was seventeen years old.
I look down at my outfit of high-waisted jeans, a white long sleeve shirt and a denim fall-style jacket. Along with the boots that I got last Christmas, they matched the outfits rather nicely. My hair was as good as it was going to get, and my make-up made me look awake and alive.
Most of us kids were home for the weekend, for our family thanksgiving. Nan and Di told me they were going to have red and orange shirts this year, while the men in the family had various plaid shirts on. Joy mentioned she was going to be wearing a light green shirt, and Faith had decided on the one colour none of us ever really wear pink. While Wynnie who was invited for the first time to be part of the larger family photos choose purple.
Even Ken had been invited, just to get some of his own photos with Owen, and to be in the photo of the 'extended' family photos. I mean my parents used to be Aunt and Uncle to him, so it was too weird, was it?
I grab the diaper bag and my phone and head down the stairs.
I see mom first, dressed in a plaid skirt and a white blouse with a denim vest. Something that matches our usual aesthetic of family photos at the pumpkin patch. It all started years ago, back when Joy was still just a baby when Uncle Matthew had his own pumpkin patch in his backyard. They took family photos of Joy only a month younger than what Owen is right now.
We also haven't exactly spoken much since our fight either, but I wasn't going there. Though I am sure the whole college application thing will bring it all up once again.
"All ready to go?" Mom asks looking at me.
"I think so," I tell her as I grab the car seat and buckle Owen into it. As soon as I'm finished I feel strong arms wrap around me. Lifting me off the ground, "Put me down!"
I hear Walter laugh, and I turn around and poke him, he isn't wearing a plaid shirt, but he has a plaid vest on. While Rye who was just along for the weekend was wearing a plaid tie and a white dress shirt with a pair of jeans.
"I think you got taller," Walter says looking me over.
"I'm wearing heels," I say rolling my eyes and showing off my boots. "How is this morning Rye? I hope we didn't make too much noise last night?"
"I am well, thank you and if you were up. I didn't hear it, but I am used to Walter being up and about occasionally," Rye says quietly looking around the house. Most likely feeling a touch out of place. Coming for dinner is one thing, being invited to come for family photos is another thing entirely.
"Also helps he uses earplugs, but truly it was nothing. I was up at 3 am writing something anyway," Walter grins at me and I see mom glance sharply at Dad who was observing Walter critically. He was in a high, it's been years since I had seen him in such a way, or maybe I noticed it more being older? It reminded me of the times he took me to Rocky Horror, or when we would drive out to random points of the island. Only when mom and dad yelled at him on the phone would turn around, to bring me home, to come home. I frown thinking over those memories, I was just happy and excited to be with him. He would never put me in danger after all? Though taking a tween to Rocky Horror also isn't probably his brightest move either? -
"He's going to be all right, with Ken being around?" I ask Rye quietly.
"He should be? They've been talking lately, I'm not exactly sure what brought this on he's been fairly stable lately, past few days though he's been sleeping less and I have to remind him to eat?" he says softly. There is a slight worry behind his eyes, he looks at my brother the way Matt looks at Joy, Jem to Faith and even Dad to mom here still.
"Maybe it's just Halloween? He does love Halloween?" I say trying to think of any sort of explanation possible. Rye only smiles softly, reacting in a way that reminds of when I was younger. I don't get it, and too young to 'get it'. I don't have much time to think about as I see my sisters come down they stay dressed and made up for our morning.
The drive is rather uneventful, I'm with mom and dad of course having the car seat and all. Nan and Di drove with Walter and Rye. Jem and Faith were in their own car, while Shirley and Wynnie drove with Tank, who had his own plaid bowtie for the day.
Ken was already waiting for us when we all arrived but with him is something I didn't expect. A dog, he's talked about getting a dog here and there but I didn't expect him to get one. It wasn't a large dog, definitely a Weiner dog by the length of its body but it had a short coat of wire hair.
"A dog?" I say raising my eyebrows.
"You see it's a fairly long story, the couple the floor below me. The older ones, her husband wasn't doing well and is in and out of the hospital. I was watching him for them and as much as it pained them they asked if I would take him." He explains, I spent the last two days with them, and he's met Owen already out in the courtyard. Even played with her a bit one day, and never minded when their grandchildren visited apparently around holidays? His name is Jacquimo, but he responds to Jack fairly well."
"Ken I'm not your mother, nor your girlfriend you don't have to explain anything to me. You got a dog, it's none of my business how and why," I tell him.
"I know, but I just don't want people thinking I'm going to go out and get a pet and all the cost associated with pets, and not give you child support either. I just because I get lonely when I don't see Owen these days. It's weird going from seeing her almost daily to not to well not," he says quietly.
"I get it in a way, some days I don't see her at all unless it's to shove my boob in her mouth. I like being at school, but I miss her," I say frowning. Before I turn and I undo the buckles and lift Owen out of her car seat and hand her over.
He kisses her cheeks and pretends to fly her around like an airplane before greeting my siblings and parents. Before crouching and letting Owen sit on his knee.
"Meet Gentlemen Jack Owen," He says. "You pat him like pet Tank," he says.
"We're gonna take family ones first, and then we kinda just do whatever and let them take random photos. They'll probably take some of Joy and Matt, sorta tag time us young kids." I tell him.
Ken nods his head and says something to Jack and Owen before standing up again. I take Owen back and put her hat on her head and fix her little shoes, w
My parents generally arrange to come before the pumpkin patch is open. The photographer who knows us well is setting up his camera.
"Oh we have a few new ones this year," his wife Melissa says to Joy. "You had to been in last years and just not noticeable yet," she says to Owen who just looks at her. "Joy she is gorgeous, I didn't even know you were pregnant, being and Auntie must be fun?" She directs at me.
"She's Rilla's," Joy says explaining, who was looking a little tired, even if she was perfectly put together. "I am the auntie, boys don't run off!" She calls out to the twins, sorry," she says to Melissa.
"Oh, I am so sorry," she says going beet red. "You've been married for so long," she says trailing off.
"It's not the first time," I try to make her feel better, looking at Joy who has this strange look on her face.
I don't get to ask about it as we're called for photos.
Photos come together easily. The husband and wife duo end up splitting up the tasks of taking different photos of different couples as we browsed the field of pumpkins. It would be hard-pressed to say that Owen wasn't the star of the session. Plenty of photos of her, mom and dad took some along with the smaller twins, then they were close to nine now and not long as little.
Ken took his with Owen as well which made me sigh at how head over heels in love with her he was. I even think the photographer managed to grab a few candids of us together even though we tried to not pose for any.
"Having fun?" Dad says wrapping his arm around me as I stood and watched Nan and Di pose with Owen.
"It's photos?" I say shrugging scanning across the farmland. He's been working his way through the women folk since photos began.
"Everything all right either way?" He asks gruffly and I look up at him confused.
"Yeah?" I say unsure of what he was asking. "I mean good as it will get as we're just sitting around waiting?" I say. "Do you think maybe one weekend I can go to a hockey game with Olivia and Miranda?" I ask him.
"You don't even like hockey?" Dad looks down at me.
"I like my friends though?" I say quietly.
"We can discuss things after midterms," Dad says reminding me that report cards were coming out in a few days. "A deal is a deal remember if you can't manage to balance your life there will be consequences." He reminds me before he looks at me as he is studying me intently.
"What?" I ask him, and I can see his mind turn. Looking between Ken and me, and I'm brought back to last night's adventure with Olivia.
"I found a pregnancy test wrapper in your garbage this morning," Dad says simply. "I was looking for the drain snake this morning. I knocked over the garbage can in the process that was under the sink," Dad says explaining. "It was just the wrapper that forgot about and I didn't look further either."
"No, you just silently decided to be Sherlock Holmes trying to figure out who thought they were pregnant?" I say giving him a look. "It wasn't mine, by the way, I was just helping out a friend. It's negative by the way."
"I'm a father, and I didn't have many people to consider unless Nan or Di is dating someone new. I doubted it was you, Leslie and Owen Ford said nothing to be worried about from Toronto. Though you managed to work through something." He admits that he talked to the Fords after the trip. "I can take a guess that it was Olivia who needed some support?"
"With a large reality check of what it's like to room with an infant," I say looking out into the film. "You're not going to say anything to her, are you? "
"It's not my place to comment on the actions of children that I don't share half of my DNA with that, even as a doctor," Dad says simply.
I only nod my head as I hear Owen cry.
"I should get her, she has to be getting irritated with all the people handling her," I tell dad getting up. He nods in his head in response and lets me leave.
I find a quiet place to set down on a bail of hay and let her calm down after I check her over. Making sure she wasn't too hot or cold, or if she needed a diaper change.
Aunt Marilla comes to sit down beside me resting her legs.
"To think this all started thirty-three years ago because of a little baby," She hums with a smile on her face. "Joy hated the pumpkins, by the way. Screamed bloody murder and was terrified of them."
"But the photos?" I ask confused.
"The few your mother got before it became a nightmare. Joy would always put up a fight, the next year your mother tried to put her into a pumpkin for a cute photo. Joy would not have it whatsoever."
"Is everything all right with Joy?" I ask looking at my older sister who was taking the last few photos of the morning with her own family.
"I believe so?" Aunt Marilla says after a quiet moment. "They have the boys more often than not these days wanting to be with their dad more. I'm sure she's just riding the wave of non-stop parenting?" I nod my head, I feel as if I knew that look that was on her face but then why would Joy hide something from me?
It felt like Mom deemed that we were done and we packed up and back home where Mom started dinner. Throwing the turkey in the oven and had us, kids, help make random side dishes with her.
We were all hungry by the time dinner was finally ready
"Why don't we all say what we're thankful for," mom says after saying grace for our dinner. "Though, no surprise babies unless you married, engaged or out of college," Mom warns everyone. Looking at Jem who was bouncing Owen lightly on his knee. He only just grins and Faith shakes her blond head at him.
"I am thankful that our family is together and we are all healthy and happy," Dad says first, his usual thing to say.
"I'm thankful most of the same things, and that I only once more year of medical school left," Jem says. "Thankful for this woman who is patient as can be I promise you we will get married eventually."
"Oh hush," Faith says, brushing him off but she kisses his cheek.
"I'm thankful for family, Rye," Walter says brightly.
"I'm thankful for all this good food, and oh my wife," Shirley says nonchalantly. While mom and dad, aunt Marilla almost sputter out and choke on their wine when it sinks in.
"Excuse me? What?" Mom gasps.
"We got married, We figured since Wynnie's parents couldn't make it. We would just get to the courthouse and do it privately. We didn't even tell our friends who were witnesses until the last moment," Shirley explains and kissed the back of her hand.
"You're 19 years old!" Mom looks to our father. Who is just sitting there still slightly stunned. " if this is a joke because we didn't want you to move out?"
"It's not a joke," Shirley says simply before holding up their hand to show off wedding bands that no one had noticed at all. "You and dad were only 18-20 when you got married. I don't see what the big deal is and no Wynnie is not pregnant, nor did we think she was. We just got married because we wanted to."
I sneak a look at my siblings who mostly are sitting there unsure of what to do. While I wonder if this trumps my last year's thanksgiving where it had all been about me being pregnant.
"But," Mom says trying to gather worlds.
"Wow you rendered mom silent," Jem piped up. "Though way to beat me to the alter Shirley, " Jem says out loud.
"What your mother is saying is congratulations, while we may have wanted you to wait a few more years and to be out of school," Dad says gruffly. "We understand to a degree what it is like to be young and in love. Congratulations, any other surprise's that anyone wants to tell us about?"
Everyone shakes their head unsure of how to absorb such news. Joy is just sitting there looking at Shirley, and Nan is staring at her hands awkwardly, probably thinking about the proposal she rejected.
"You also saved them the expense of a wedding," Di chirps up.
"Oh my god, I didn't even get to see you get married, or help with a wedding. Please tell me you have at least some photos?" Mom blurts out.
I think I can finally move out of October and into November finally woo!
Hope everyone had a good week,
Tina.