Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon. I do however own Alex, and this characterization of a member of the Darkrai and Kricketune species.
Chapter Eleven:
Whole
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Alex sighed, standing up from the stream she had found to wash the used bowls of food in. It was the night after the day she had gotten and given the news of Mightyena's death to her team, and she had spent most of her energy just trying not to break down in front of everyone. They needed her to be strong and lead them, so Alex would push aside her own feelings and see to their needs, even if it killed her. Which at this point was starting to feel like it might.
The trainer turned and jumped as Darkrai's concerned visage filled her view. "Oh, hi," Alex forced a smile on her face. "I never thanked you for cleaning out the bowls last night, so, umm, thanks."
"Darkrai, rai?" it asked her, not fooled by her attempts to reassure it.
Are you okay? Alex translated. "I'm fine—just a bit tired." The trainer grinned. "I guess I'm still a little sore from our race yesterday." She struggled not to show the pang of regret she felt from referencing the time when Mightyena had most likely been killed. Alex swallowed at the thought. "I wish we could have made a bit more progress today, though." They had stopped to set up camp quite early for their standards, as it was only starting to get dark now, after she had fed her team.
"Krai, rai Darkrai?"
Why's that? Alex frowned. "I guess I should tell you guys about that…" The trainer hesitated. "Only, it's still kinda soon after… you know… and I don't want to burden them just yet. As long as we make it to Oreburgh without getting seen though, it should be fine."
And now Darkrai looked interested. "Rai Krai dark, Darkrai?"
What are you talking about? Alex bit her lip and considered the legendary. "I guess… out of all of us, you have the most right to know." She sighed again, gathering her thoughts. "The lab was attacked by a group of people calling themselves 'Team Hearsay'. Apparently their mission statement is 'the capture and containment of legendary Pokémon for the safety of the world at large'." After Rowan had delivered the… news… he and Alex had talked further about what had happened. "It's all Tauros shit if you ask me, but they seem really persistent and I want to get us into hiding as soon as possible. I have a lot of friends in Oreburgh who'd be willing to hide us, and the town itself is pretty out of the way without being too obvious, and it has a strong gym leader and connections to the PokéSci community…" Alex trailed off as Darkrai simply stared down at its claws, turning them over and flexing them without seeming to hear her.
"Darkrai?" she asked, growing concerned.
Alex saw something flash in the legendary's eyes as it looked up at her. Then it shook its head. "Krai dar, Dark krai."
It's nothing. "If you're sure." The dark type nodded and she reluctantly returned to camp, leaving Darkrai hovering by the brook, looking lost.
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Kricketune awoke to the distant sound of wood being demolished. It was the middle of the night and everyone else was asleep. Well, not everyone. The bug type glanced around the clearing and noted the absence of their largest member, Darkrai. Even if the huge dark type appeared to be unapproachably menacing by most standards, Kricketune had always felt safer knowing that the nightmare king was watching over them as they dreamt.
You had nothing to fear in hell, after all, if the devil himself had your back.
Kricketune stood up as another crack! of wood being struck echoed to her antennae, making them twitch. Following the sound to its source, the violin beetle Pokémon found the missing member of the team beating up a defenseless tree. Concerned by the uncharacteristic violence of the passive Pokémon, Kricketune hung back to watch unobserved as Darkrai continued to take out its aggression on the plant.
"Gods Damn it!" Darkrai slashed its claws against the trunk, leave another set of thick gouges in the bark. "Arceus Punish—" Another swipe sent woodchips flying. "Dialga Curse—" Sawdust rose in a cloud around the tree. "Palkia Doom—" The tree began to groan. "And Giratina Banish my worthless soul!" With one final powerful swing of its talons, Darkrai sent the destroyed plant teetering to its downfall, branches snapping and cracking under the weight of the old cypress as it crashed into the grassy ground with a muffled boom.
Darkrai looked from its claws up to the full moon. "Must I destroy everything I touch?" After the moon had answered with a resounding silence, the mythic turned away with a snort. "You've never listened, have you?"
Kricketune stepped out from behind the bushes. "I'm listening to you right now."
Darkrai flung itself into the air, spinning around with one talon raised in a strike posture, eyes glowing a brilliant cyan. The huge dark type slowly came back down as it saw the bug type and her words registered. "So you are."
Kricketune walked over to the newly made stump and sliced off the ragged top, leaving a flat surface to sit on, and hopped up on it. "Speak."
Darkrai regarded her ruefully. "I hope I didn't wake you."
The bug blinked. "You seemed rather angry at that tree."
The mythic snorted, settling on the ground next to the stump and putting them at eye level. "It was mocking me."
"Oh?" Kricketune pondered out loud, "And what did this disrespectful plant say to engender such wrath?"
Amusement flashed in Darkrai's eyes for a moment before the Pokémon glanced away, somber. "It called me a monster." The mythic continued before Kricketune could respond, staring down at its unblemished claws, "I am though, aren't I? I hurt everything I touch."
"You never hurt me." Even as she said it, Kricketune knew it wasn't quite true.
Sure enough Darkrai replied, "I hurt you when we first met. I hurt all of you."
Kricketune glanced over at the offensive truncated tree. "That was different. That was a battle. And we weren't hurt badly—we all healed within a day."
The huge dark type looked back at her in silence for a few seconds before sighing. "Not Alex. She's still healing. I'm not sure she'll ever be done healing."
"The bandages?" Kricketune asked. She'd never seen what was under the cloth, but she knew it had some connection to Darkrai.
The mythic nodded. "I tore her arm open while she was trying to flee. She only sent out the team to defend herself."
Kricketune cocked her head in undemanding question. "Why did you attack?"
Darkrai was silent for so long that the bug type was afraid she had overstepped her bounds. "I was desperate," it said finally.
Kricketune waited for Darkrai to continue, but the mythic said no more. "I don't think you're a monster."
Another long pause while the dark type examined its claws. "I cause pain everywhere I go."
"Then we are all monsters." Darkrai glanced sharply to the smaller Pokémon while she explained, "We all cause pain wherever we go. We also cause joy, and happiness, and sorrow, and anger. It's a part of being alive. It's a part of having each other."
Darkrai looked away. "I keep hurting Alex."
"How so?" Kricketune asked.
"She's still wounded from the time we met. She tries not to show it, but I can still see her flinch every time something touches her wrist—and not just out of pain. And now I can't even touch her without hurting her, because it reminds her of what she lost. And I've only just found out that I caused that, too."
The bug type blinked. "Oh?"
Darkrai closed its eyes, wilting in sorrow. "The people that attacked the lab were after me." Kricketune could find nothing to say as the dark type continued, "Simply by being in her life I cause her to suffer." Still shocked by the admission, the bug type failed to speak up again. "Perhaps I should just leave."
"No!" Kricketune finally found her words, reaching out with a limb at the same time to whack the mythic on the head. "Don't you dare say that!"
Darkrai, stunned into silence by her outburst, stared at her, eyes wide.
"You can't change what's happened in the past, and I'm not even sure you can change the future," Kricketune ranted angrily, "but you can change what you do now. So don't you dare run away. Not when we need you—not when Alex needs you."
Darkrai went back to glaring at its talons. "Alex doesn't need me."
"The Hell she doesn't!" The mythic leaned away, taken aback by the venom in the little bug's voice. "She hasn't eaten since yesterday morning, she's barely spoken at all, and I've seen more convincing happiness from a drowning Spearow than whatever she's playing at!"
"And how am I supposed to help with that?!" the nightmare king spat, lifting off the ground, "She won't even look at me!"
Kricketune stood on the stump, glaring down at the huge dark type even though it floated above her. "Then you must make her look! She will not look because it is painful—she does not want to see the one who took Mightyena's place in the team as she is afraid you will take his place in her heart. You must make her see that this is not true, that she has the right to love both of you," the little bug commanded, "and you cannot do that if you leave!"
Darkrai crumpled to the ground suddenly. "I… can't," the mythic spoke, voice heartbreakingly fragile, "I don't want to hurt her anymore."
Kricketune sat back down, reaching into her memory to abridge something someone once told her. "Sometimes we tell people things they do not want to hear, or do things they do not want us to do, and it hurts them. But sometimes it helps them, too." Darkrai looked up at her, eyes open. "Alex is our leader; she doesn't want to show weakness. She does not want us to know how much she is hurting. She thinks that if she can be strong, then the rest of us will be fine." Kricketune stared into the mythic's eyes, trying to impart the importance of what she said next through will alone. "It is not strength to hide your weakness from those who love you. You must show her this." Kricketune shook her head, not breaking eye contact. "Mightyena was a huge part of her life. No matter what she says, Darkrai, Alex is not fine."
Darkrai finally looked away, glancing to its claws again. "But, why me? I've only hurt her."
Kricketune hopped off her stump and stepped up to the huge dark type, placing her forelimbs on top of its talons. "It can only be you. You are at the center of all this and," the bug type took in a breath, "she sees you more as an equal than a follower like the rest of us." Darkrai's eyes followed the line of red from its claws up to Kricketune's gaze. "You are the only one she will let take care of her."
The mythic blinked, eyes locked onto hers. "What should I do?"
"Find her," Kricketune replied, "Go to her, comfort her. Even if she pushes you away, do not let her be alone." Darkrai nodded, letting the little bug's forelimbs slide from its talons as it rose off the ground. "Go," Kricketune encouraged, "I can make my way back on my own."
"Thank you," Darkrai said simply as it turned away and flew back to camp.
Kricketune followed at a more sedate pace, smiling as she recalled a different tale about Darkrai her mother had once told her.
"Bring the light, Nightmare King."
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Alex sat at the edge of the creek, away from the camp. She had been woken from her fitful slumber by a sound off in the distance and couldn't get back to sleep, so she had snuck out of camp to avoid disturbing her resting team and had come to the same creek she had washed her team's bowls in earlier.
Suddenly, she felt a familiar presence settle next to her in the dark. "Hey," Alex whispered without looking up, "What are you doing awake?"
Darkrai snorted, asking her the same.
"Couldn't sleep," the trainer replied honestly.
"Dark," the legendary agreed.
Alex hummed, letting the silence take over as she watched the reflection of the full moon ripple in the stream. The longer the quiet stretched on, the harder it was to keep herself from unloading all her problems on her innocent Pokémon. Unable to take anymore, Alex stood up. "I guess I should try to get some sleep."
The trainer turned around, intending to head back to camp but Darkrai blocked her, hovering in the air like a phantom in the silver light of the moon.
"Excuse me." Alex tried to duck past the dark type without touching it, to no effect. Darkrai simply moved faster than she could and easily kept her flanked whenever she tried to get around it. Finally, Alex took a step back, defeated. "Okay, what do you want?"
Darkrai remained silent while Alex managed to push down the tremendous guilt she felt about the role she played in all this and made herself look at the dark type. "Dark," it commanded, pointing at the ground.
Alex sat. Sighing as the legendary settled in front of her, the trainer folded her arms and sent it a weak glare. "Now what?"
Darkrai said nothing, simply sitting across from her in silence while Alex slowly cracked.
"What do you want from me?!" the trainer spat, unable to meet the dark type's eyes as tears began to gather in her own. "I'm tired, I want to go to bed—so say something, dammit!"
Still the legendary said nothing, watching impassively as Alex glared at the ground between them, trying to hold herself back from collapsing.
"Why are you here?! Why can't you leave me alone?!" The trainer grew more upset as the quiet stretched on. "I'm already in pain, can't you see you're making it worse?!"
Still nothing.
"Fuck this," Alex seethed, "I'm going to bed." She tried to stand, but was pulled back down to the ground as her own trembling limbs failed to support her. "Shut up," she snarled at the silent Pokémon, "I'm not weak." Slowly this time, Alex forced herself to get up.
Darkrai hovered off the ground to stay level with her, stretching out an arm to help as its trainer took a single faltering step forward.
Alex recoiled from the offered limb. "I don't need your help!" She gritted her teeth from the effort of keeping herself standing as the past two days came rushing back, threatening to pull her down again with the combined force of the weight she felt she'd been defying since that dreadful moment."I can take care of myself!"
Against her will, Alex began listing to the side, reeling from a sudden wave of dizziness that seemed to rear up from her stomach and punch her on the top of her head. Too slow to even think about wind-milling her arms, the trainer felt herself falling.
A pair of spindly arms caught her around the waist as Darkrai finally spoke up. "Rai krai, Darkrai."
You don't have to.
Alex made no move to break from the nightmare king's grasp as her body was wracked by sobs, shaking more than she thought possible given her weakened state. "Everything…" she began as Darkrai gathered her limp form into its arms, "Everything's happened so fast…" Alex pressed her face into the legendary's fur. "How? How has it not even been a month?" The pain started to fade away into the voidful sensation of the powerful dark type holding her close. "Luxray left… Purugly evolved… I caught a legend… One of the eggs hatched, and not even the one I've had for four years, but the one that boy gave me in Oreburgh four weeks ago…" Alex huffed out an exhausted laugh at the irony. "I guess it's true what they say about eggs; they hatch when they want to…" Her face fell as she caught up to the present. "Now there's a team of villains after us, and Mighty's…"
Darkrai stayed silent, letting her fail to speak while it gently stroked her hair with its talons.
"Gone…" Alex choked out, "Mighty's gone… because of me—If I hadn't gone to that island, if I hadn't caught you—" the trainer paused as the legendary stiffened around her. "They're after you now, too. If I didn't catch you, you might still be safe."
Darkrai shook its head, tension seeping out of its limbs.
"No?" Alex sniffed. "Maybe not." She gave a halfhearted laugh. "I guess we'll never know."
"Krai," the dark type agreed, eyeing her meaningfully.
The trainer snorted softly, eyes tired. "I know, don't dwell on the 'what if?'s…" She sighed, letting her head drop back onto the legendary's chest. "But whatever happens next… it's on me. I started this… I put everyone in danger…" She huffed as Darkrai continued with its ministrations. "It all seemed like a game, at first. You know, after… I caught you." Alex coughed self-consciously as the dark type's movements stuttered for a moment before evening out. "Even that's not so bad anymore, in hindsight…
"I followed rumors of a rare, dangerous Pokémon to a remote island, and, unlike everyone before me, managed to soothe the savage beast and tame its awesome power…" Alex scoffed. " 'Savage beast' indeed. You just wanted to be left alone, didn't you?"
Darkrai paused again, considering her. "Rai krai," it responded softly.
"You don't regret getting caught?" Alex asked.
The legendary nodded.
The trainer sighed into its fur. "You're a good friend."
The two sat for a time after that, under the light of the full whole moon with the silver reflections of the stream playing across the rocks and trees, until the trainer couldn't push back the curtains of sleep any longer, and finally fell into slumber, her face still buried in the nightmare king's fur.
Hey cub, don't you cry over me. I've been dying for some years now—I'm just happy I got to go out like one of those heroes we keep seeing on TV. You know me, I've never been one to end things with a whimper. Hey, I like the new kid—good job with that one! I think it's strong enough to protect you like I used to do. Go easy on it, but don't be afraid to cuddle—I think it'd like that a lot. It really seems to like you, you know. I think it'd lay down its life for yours, just like the rest of us.
And don't worry about me, cub—I'm fine. I'm up here with the Big Guy—you know It can be any type It wants to be? Wild. It seems to appreciate my wonderful sense of humor, too. Oh, and I'm not really supposed to talk about it, but It has plans for you—well, It has plans for everyone, but that includes you and the kid.
Oops, ah, got to go now—eternity awaits and all that. I'll try to speak to you again sometime, but don't count on it. Time is… different up here. So don't feel bad if you don't hear from me, okay? That's all, I think. Sweet dreams, Alex.
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End chapter.
Well, I've rewritten this chapter three times ^^; Heh…
Not really my favorite, but kinda necessary anyhow…
Believe it or not, that last bit isn't fan service—it comes up again in a rather… Well, it's a plot point.
*cough* Don't worry, something… interesting happens next chapter, then something actually exciting the one after that.
Maybe someday I'll rewrite this chapter one more time, and I'll actually be happy with it. Maybe someday…
Questions? Comments? …Concerns? Well, not even Darkrai can read your mind (…), so if there's something you want to say, make sure to post a review to let me know. I welcome constructive criticism. I will never yell at you for stating your opinion—but please include a reason if you're going to flame.