May 2019
One year old
"I know that, but she's only a year old, does she really need a cake for herself?" I protest. Leslie planned to make Owen's first birthday something that wouldn't be overshadowed and in the excitement of it all. I found myself excited for it as well though I hadn't expected to be arguing with Aunt Marilla that is for sure.
"Of course she does, I have baked every 1st birthday cake, a Blythe baby has eaten, Owen will have the same. Tell Leslie Ford that her cake can be for the guests." Aunt Marilla tells me as she already pulling out bowls and ingredients in our kitchen.
I sigh and shake my head.
"Plus she is a Blythe and not a Ford. So I win," Marilla smirks at me.
"I wouldn't say that in front of Ken's father," I say under my breath as I bend down to pick up my daughter who was pulling on my leg. Grimacing as I feel pressure on my lower back, when did she get so big?
"Well, that is Owen Ford's problem and not mine," Marilla clucks her tongue and chuckles.
"What is it, Owen?" I ask her.
"Um-Num," she tells me in her high-pitched voice.
"Are you hungry? Didn't I just feed you lunch? Where do you put it all?" I ask her, tickling her side lightly. "Banana?" I break one off the bench and hold it up to see she can see it, and she reaches for it.
"Okay, okay," I say and manage to rip the peel and break off a piece and let her take it. She chews on it messily, giving me a toothy, banana-filled smile. I make a funny face and take a piece for myself. "Bananas good aren't they?"
"Nana," Owen sputters.
"Oh, of course, you can say Dada and Banana, but you can't say, Mama?" I say to her playfully. "Mama?"
"Dada," She chants looking around as if she was expecting Ken to pop up somewhere, frowning when she said to see him.
"She'll say it when she is ready," Marilla breaks into our conversation as she mashes up the old bananas for her famous banana cake.
"I know, but I can only help it along," I respond as I feed Owen another piece of banana. "Right? Can you say, Mama?" I say in a sing-song voice. Owen does nothing but stares at me and I shake my head smiling. "Do you need any help?" I ask Aunt Marillia.
"No, no, go have fun or do your homework, call a friend?" She waves me off.
I heed her words, as I pull the stroller and gather the diaper bag. A light coat for Owen before I buckle her into the stroller. I gather my wallet and keys before I head out for a nice walk into town. I know I could drive, but nice weather meant a nice walk. I talk absentmindedly to Owen, pointing out flowers and trees.
Every once in a while I'd get a comment from a passerby about how adorable she was. I had her little ringlets pulled into two little pigtails on the top of her head, so I had to agree she was precious and adorable.
"Rilla!" I hear my name be called out and I see Olivia and Miranda jogging up to me, the bell had just run for the final time of the day. "Where are you going?"
"Meeting Ken and his parents in a little bit thought I would take a walk-though to get some fresh air," I tell them as we fall in step. "Wave hi?" I bend to tell Owen she looks up at me, a big smile plastering on her face as she recognizes them. She waves both of her hands wildly, spouting off a bunch of nonsense.
"Hello to you too," Miranda laughs and she boops Owen's nose. "It is a gorgeous out today that is for sure."
"Hopefully It stays for tomorrow," Olivia says. "I can't believe this one is already going to be a year old!"
"Please don't remind me," I say shaking my head. "It doesn't seem long enough yet, but I'm excited for you to come tomorrow. The Fords holiday house is lovely and it's on a beach. The afternoon will be all about this little one, but something about a bonfire or something in the evening." I tell them.
"We look forward to it," Olivia says for both of them. "How are you doing?"
"Fine, I guess? I don't know really?" I say sighing. "It over with, I just want to put it behind and focus on the now of things?" I say trying to tell them I wasn't ready to talk about it yet, or if I ever would be behind the doors of Beth's office.
"Understandable," Miranda nods her head and Olivia looks at her in a bit of shock.
"Well I can't wait for tomorrow and the party," Olivia says changing the subject. "Birthday cake is always the best cake there is."
"Well, Leslie has ordered some insane cake for the party, and Aunt Marilla is making her classic Banana cake that all of us Blythe babies have had on our first birthday. So there will be plenty," I tell her. "How are you doing though? Anything from your dad?" I ask her.
"Diddley squat, but I expected it," Olivia shrugged. "I spoke to Robbie through"
"What! You never told me that!" Miranda exclaims. Even I was a bit wide eye about it after they had broken up before Christmas, Olivia had refused to talk to him at all.
Olivia just shrugs one of her tan shoulders.
"Well, tell us?" I urge her a bit.
"We talked, he apologized for letting things get into his head, that he missed me," Olivia says simply. "I reminded him that it's been six months, and he was like yeah because you're stubborn and refuse to speak to me until now."
"Well, he has a point," I said nudging her a bit. "So what now?" I ask her.
"I don't know," Olivia says sighing. "I mean I miss him too, but he essentially he said that me in high school, and him in college last year felt weird. We were together since grade 10, then I moved here and he got into college out here to be closer and then he ruined it all."
I frown to myself as I push the stroller.
"Maybe it will be better, or easier if you try it again?" I try to offer her. "You're going to Fredericton for uni aren't you? Moncton isn't that far from there It might be easier for both of you?"
"Maybe? I don't know," Olivia sighs again. "How are you and Ken?" She asks changing the subject.
"The same, the usual," I tell her. "He's expecting a script in the next few weeks, and I think he has one more tv interview thing to do? Something now that there is more information about the tv movie and whatnot."
"How long will he be gone?" Miranda asks.
"About the summer?" I say simply. "We'll FaceTime so he can see Owen and Owen can see him and he'll fly back when he has a few days off to see her as well," I explain and they both nod their heads.
We part our ways at a certain point before I find myself at Ken's. I wave to Leslie who was out drinking tea on his balcony. A few minutes later Ken was at the door waiting for me.
We spend the evening eating sushi and going over the party for tomorrow. I couldn't imagine what it might look like in a few years? Bouncy castles and ponies? Still, I let Leslie have her way since they aren't here all that often and I can always have a small dinner at home the following day if I wanted.
"What do you plan on doing for the summer?" Owen Ford asks me as I just stuck a piece of cucumber maki in my mouth.
"Oh!" I say covering my mouth and chewing. "I've been applying for some jobs for the summer, I got an interview at the boardgames cafe," I tell him.
"You never told me that!" Ken exclaims and I merely shrug.
"It's just an interview," I say quietly. "We'll see how it goes, if not I applied to Walmart and Starbucks those sorts of places."
"Do you know where you going to school yet?" Leslie asks as she reaches for the sip cup that Owen tried to throw off her highchair.
"Umm, yes Holland College," I nod my head. "They pushed for UPEI but I think this will be better for me in the long run. It should be fun, I had a small meeting with the program director and he thinks it will be a good fit?" I tell them.
"We'll figure out a schedule that works for both of us come to the end of the summer and when I am back," Ken says to his father looking at me and Owen with a smile.
"I wasn't worried about that," Owen says to his son. "I am not a monster you always like to think I am."
I sit there uncomfortably for a brief moment before I excuse myself to use the washroom. I stay a little bit longer before.
"Calm down both you and stop jumping to conclusions," Leslie warns them both, as I sit on the toilet. I look down and groan, of course. Of course, it came, I spent half the day with a backache.
I wonder for half a moment if his ex-girlfriend left anything here? But he doesn't have an under-the-sink cabinet and his shelf unit didn't seem to have anything? I sigh and rip off some toilet paper and use it to catch whatever it could until I got home because I didn't even have anything in my purse to my knowledge?
"Can we stop at the drugstore on the way back to my place?" I ask looking at the time.
"Sure, everything all right?" Ken asks looking up from his phone.
"Yeah, just got my period," I say with a shrug. "It's been a while, so don't have anything?"
"Oh, okay then," he says looking a touch uncomfortable. "Ummm, I think if you look in the top basket there might be something from when Mona would be over?" He says awkwardly acknowledging when I had already thought.
"I'll take another look," I say, part of my a bit impressed at his maturity about periods. Even my brothers tended to act like children about seeing tampons or pads lying about over the years. Probably not his favourite subject in the world, but considering he did have a daughter. It was probably something he was going to have to get used to hearing around for one day!
He has Owen all packed up and in her car seat when I come back out. He already ran out and put the folded-up stroller in his trunk.
"Is everything all right between you and your dad?" I ask him quietly in the car.
"Yeah, he's just pissed at me for taking the film job. Nothing about you," he tries to reassure me.
"Why is he mad?" I look over at him.
"He just thinks it's irresponsible of me to leave you and Owen for the summer without help. Instead of just being on EI and not working during the renovations," Ken says sighing. "He'll get over it, we both talked it over and agreed to this. That is all that matters," he said pulling in the parking lot at the drugstore.
"I'll just be a minute," I tell him unbuckling my seatbelt and I didn't take long.
The cake is in the fridge when I get home and I smile at it and since she was still here drinking coffee with my mom I hug her, wrapping my arm around her neck.
"What's in the bag?" Mom asks curiously as I do the same to her and I don't answer verbally, I just hold up a box of tampons.
"Oh dear," Aunt Marilla shakes her head. "I do not miss such things."
"Word of warning," Mom starts. "I know it's been a while for you, and you're a year postpartum, but it will feel different so don't panic if it does. It may take a few cycles to become used to tampons ago, so it might be a good idea to not snub a good pad?"
"Well, if that doesn't make me more nervous," I say sighing and I sit down.
"You'll be fine, be happy you got off this long without it," Mom reminds me.
"It's the birth control mostly," I say sighing. I still didn't enjoy being on it, but alas I was. "I'm gonna head up early and take a bath," I tell them both, giving them another hug and kiss on the cheek before taking my baby, is she still a baby?
Up the stairs, I put her to bed before I take a bath before crawling into my bed. Not wanting to admit that my mother had been right about the tampons.
I open my eyes to giggle, and as my eyes adjust I see Owen standing up in her crib.
"Mama," she calls out to me, and I look at my phone, realizing it was just about midnight, I've only been asleep for two hours.
"Mama is coming," I say, not even registering what she had said to me yet.
I blindly pick her up and lay down in bed with her. She paws at my nightgown for a moment, before I move it aside for her and she latches on to me.
"It's your birthday you know that right?" I say to her quietly. "At 12:20 am you were born my Elowen Amalia Rose," I say her full name, something I haven't done much, though I am sure one day I'll be shouting it, or muttering under my breath when she misbehaves. "You're one now, and I can scarcely believe it in a way. Last year I was in the hospital, in so much pain and then out popped you, all slimy and covered in blood. You were like a little potato when they finally cleaned you up a bit."
She looks at me with her big bug eyes, letting my nipple pop out of her mouth.
"I love you so much, I didn't realize how much I would love you," I say to her as she crawls up my body. I move slightly onto my side letting my arms wrap around her, cradling her from all the evil in the world.
"You're gonna have a party tomorrow, with all your aunties and uncles," I tell her. "Gramma and Grandpa, and your daddy's family as well. Not your Auntie Persis, she's out in Japan, but your aunty Thea is coming to meet you," I explain to her kissing the top of her head.
"Mama," she says patting my face and for the time it clicks in my head, and I find myself crying.
The party was well underway, it still seemed rather ridiculous for such a party as Owen didn't seem to understand why everyone was around.
Miranda and Olivia were already here, already helping with decorating or sympathizing with me about my period as I had texted them about the misery that it was. They had come with presents and large chocolate with my name on it. I didn't even think about calories when I broke off a piece and shoved it in my mouth.
Still everyone was happy and laughing. Owen was talkative in her little language, proudly showing off her chatty ways to anyone who would listen to her. Switching between me and Ken of who she was wished to be with.
She spent the morning, cruising around the furniture and when she couldn't get somewhere she cried until Ken or I helped her walk across somewhere. Soon enough she would master walking on her own, but neither of us felt ready for the day she didn't need to hold our hands anymore.
"Oh, I remember when Max was this little," Thea says looking over at her moody teenage son who was more interested in his video game than his cousin's birthday party naturally. I still find it strange that I was only a few years older than him.
"Hello, I'm your Aunty Thea," she said to Owen and tilts her head, before looking over to Ken.
"Dada?" She says sticking her fingers in her mouth.
"I'm your daddy's sister, correct," Thea chuckles. "Aren't you a smart cookie, aren't you?" She says tickling Owen who giggles and stamps her feet as I held her hands.
"She's adorable, I mean I've seen all the photos of her, but seeing her in person for the first time," Thea says.
"Why didn't you come and visit Ken?" I ask curiously.
"I had meant too when Dad and Leslie were around, but work, life and you both seemed busy enough?" She says and I can see Ken's Dad, turn his head at her mention of calling him Dad. I remember the last time she had called him Owen. Yet I get the distinct feeling that she had been kept in the loop of things.
"She very chatty isn't she?" Thea asks breaking me out of my thoughts.
"She always been, she can say, Mama and Dada, Nana for Banana," I say laughing. "Just about walking these days but not quite yet on her own. I just hope I don't miss it, and that Ken doesn't either." I tell her honestly.
"Even if you do, it is still the first time to see it with your own eyes, whenever she does it in front of you." Thea tries to comfort me.
"That's what dad says, but between school and work for both of us, and splitting time. I'm sure one of us will miss it," I say sadly. "Didn't have the luxury of a year off to just be with her, which sure I get to a point, I was the idiot who had a baby at sixteen," I say softly.
"You're not an idiot, you just made some choices that not everyone has to make at sixteen. You did what you thought was best for yourself and what you believe in," Thea says trying to make me feel better. "It may not be the typical year of maternity leave but you got through it did you not? You still have your friends and I know Ken is extremely thankful for how everything works out between the two of you?" Thea says before having a moment of panic on her face.
"I need to use the washroom, will you watch her while I go?" I ask her. "You didn't say anything wrong, but you know, once you have to go, you go sort of thing. One wrong cough, sneeze, laugh," I laugh awkwardly.
"Oh I understand," Thea nods her head. "Kegels and pelvic floor exercises do wonders, and yet they barely talk about it to us most of the time."
"Mom had seven children, I got the low down on it," I tell her with a sigh getting up and grabbing my purse for anything I might also need.
"Is Rilla all right?" I hear Leslie ask my mom one room over, most likely not realizing I was so near them in the washroom. "She looks so terribly skinny these days?"
"It hasn't been the best few months for her," Mom sighs. "From what Gil could tell and why he hasn't brought it up. It wasn't intentional, he tries to get her to eat a healthy selection of food, and she does eat most of it but she can't be more than 105 may be right now?
I was 107, probably cause I felt bloated though right now. Two years ago I would have relished in that number. Two years ago I would have strived for even less and a part of me still does when I think about it.
Coming out of the bathroom, and wandering about the house. I spot Jem and Faith who must have just arrived. Shirley was playing around on one of the Fords guitars playing a nursery rhyme to Owen.
"What are you thinking about?" Walter comes up behind me.
"Nothing," I say turning to hug him. "When did you get here?"
"A few moments ago, Rye is with Di, and Nan is with Chris," he explains to me.
"He willing came to another family gathering, he must be a keeper," I laughed shaking my head.
"He's a good guy," Walter says nodding his head.
"Why doesn't Di ever bring anyone home for us to meet?" I ask curiously.
"She would have to decide to like someone enough maybe?" Walter says with a shrug. It sounds mean but fairly true, she does date a lot and often enough when I ask about one, suddenly the name has changed on me.
"So when are you and Rye getting hitched?" I ask him to change the subject as I watch Ken play with Owen with the others.
"I think we're okay happily being committed," Walter laughs lightly. "No plans on that sort of thing, they bring up the talk about babies and let's have Joy have her moment."
"Fair enough, as I look over at Joy who was sitting in a chair, looking completely over being pregnant already. Matt was sitting beside her rubbing her back.
I smile at Walter before I go over to Nan who gave me a large hug.
"So we didn't scare you off at Christmas?" I ask Chris.
"It takes a bit to scare me off something," Chris laughs, his arms wrapping around Nan. "Thank you for inviting me to come through."
I merely shrug my one shoulder. "It's nothing, plus I feel like Leslie planned a party for 50, not just who is here," I tell him with a laugh.
We bring out the cake after Owen's afternoon nap, Aunt Marilla cake that has Happy Birthday Elowen in pink writing on the top of it. Singing happy birthday to her, which makes her equally confused. Much like the single candle on the cake, that we help blow out for her as everyone takes photos and cheers. She doesn't know what to do at first so Ken and I end up encouraging her to go it. It takes her a moment to get her hands dirty, and another moment to actually attempt to taste her first bites of cake.
I watch Ken try to steal some, but swatted at with a cake-filled hand that makes everyone laugh.
"Mama," she says as holds out a handful of smashed-up cake to me.
"That's your baby," I say to her, pretending to not overreact to her word for me.
"When did that happen?" Ken asks with a smile and I just shrug as we clean her up afterwards and put her back into her birthday dress.
The rest of the party was fun as one of the neighbours came out with his miniature horse and a baby piglet that had only been born in the last week. Still drinking from a bottle because he couldn't figure out who the mother had been since the piglet had been abandoned for being small.
I had thought she was too young to even be near a horse, but after some talk to the neighbour who has grandchildren and raised his own children to love horses. I relaxed as his wife showed Owen how to gently pet the horse and how to hold the small soft brush to brush him as well.
I thought that was it until a small helmet was produced. I had shaken my head no, she wasn't even walking yet, but Ken took it in stride.
"She'll be okay Rilla, we'll just hold her sitting on the horse. She can't fall if we're holding her and it's a slow walk," he explains. So with Ken holding her up, another person leading the horse I walked beside them. Ready to snatch her up at her first cry, but she doesn't, instead she giggles, handing grasping at the miniature saddle. I am sure there will be a dozen or more like hundreds of photos for us.
She spends the next little bit cuddled into me, away from the noise and people, I barely even notice when Ken sneaks into the spare room and lies down next to me.
We don't say a word because there is nothing to say. We survived her first year and she was thriving.
She is one!
Two more chapters to go! I still can't quite believe it. Also can't wait to get into actual romance for the sequel!
Hope everyone had a good week, this one is a bit late because life it crazy busy for me right now!
Tina.