This is the final Chapter, how far have we come since the beginning.

July 2019

Fourteen Months

We spend the week of my 18th birthday down in Maine. Dad had holidays to use up and it's a small trip, Shirley and Wynnie join us, while the twins and Walter joined us a few days later. The only ones missing were Joy having a month-old baby and Jem who couldn't get the time off. Rye was invited but couldn't get the time off work.

Mom offered to stay behind for Joy, but Joy told her to have a vacation for her.

Of course, this meant that I had to get a passport for Owen, which resulted in the most frustrating but adorable photo session. Along with a copy of her long-form birth certificate and Ken's information as well, as both parents had to sign for it.

It came down to bringing in copies of custody agreements when we drove to Halifax as I needed to get a new one as well. I later learned that they called Ken to ensure that he was the one who actually signed the paperwork.

So with a new passport, and a duo-tang of paperwork that had been procured before Ken flew to Toronto. All saying that he knew that I was taking her out of the country.

We were ready.

We spend our first-day driving, stopping when needed for food and bathroom breaks. Stopping in the occasional park after a tantrum for being in the car for so long. Letting her toddle about, not quite running yet but she was learning fast! But finally, we check into a quaint little B&B that we had pretty much to ourselves as we checked in and got a late dinner for pick up as it was way past Owen's bedtime.

I keep in contact with Ken in the early morning since he left for Toronto. It would out rather perfect as Owen wakes up early and he's up for call times and often just sitting in a trailer waiting for hair and makeup or wardrobe. We don't talk every morning, but enough for Owen to see him on camera when she can. I call him on the third day of our trip since he told me he would be around and we spend 20 minutes with Owen face up to the camera until she gets bored and wants to play.

"I hate filming," he says bitterly. "Seriously I am remembering all the reasons why I quit. It hasn't gotten easier or better. I miss Owen and my place. Jack keeps me sane since every he's allowed to come on set." he says sighing. "I'm sorry I'm not great company today."

"Well it's not your fault, plus it's not like your daughter is either this morning. I asked if she wanted to go look for some breakfast and she told me no," I said sighing. "I didn't realize she knew that one yet and now it's her new favourite word," I tell him and he laughs before turning his head.

"I have to go they're calling me," he says. "Happy Birthday also, don't think I forgot."

"Thank you," I tell him, turning my attention to our Daughter. "Owen, Daddy has to say goodbye," I positioned my tablet so she can see Ken once more.

I make it downstairs for breakfast with the family. There are some balloons tied onto the chair next to the high chair. I smile and shake my head.

"Happy Birthday," Mom says sneaking up behind me hugging me, and Dad waits until he has his own chance to hug and adds a kiss on the top of my head.

"Happy Birthday Rilla," he says in a voice that almost sounds choked up.

My siblings filtered in next and we all ordered breakfast. Fruit and oatmeal for myself that I would share with Owen, and a small plate of eggs for her as well.

"She's so behaved," the owner comments of Owen in amazement as she comes around as breakfast is almost over. I smile weakly. I'm hell-bent on her not making a mess around her.

"Thank you, I'm trying to teach her that she's not allowed to knock off food or throw it," I explain. Knowing I had already been on the floor cleaning up after her.

Like most trips, Mom drags us to various museums because vacation should still be educational. Though we do spend a healthy amount of time at the beach my siblings and I like this morning.

All of us take turns splashing around in the shallow part of the ocean with Owen. Who also likes to sit and make patty cakes in the wet sand, or make us chase her as she toddled in her swim diaper, covered in sunblock.

Shirley especially enjoys chasing her and getting her riled up before swinging her up in the air. I look to Wynnie who was wearing some bright bikini, compared to my black and white polka dot one I had found on sale.

"He's such a goofball," Wynnie says shaking her head.

"Well, you married him," I remind her as I fix my breasts in my top with a sigh. It had to be about nap time in our time zone. It was hit and miss some days if she wanted to nurse before her afternoon nap. Thankfully she still wanted me in the morning and evening. Which was doable for when I was working or when I would be in school if she was still nursing come September.

"I did, didn't I?" Wynnie laughs.

"Why did you get married?" I ask her.

"Honestly, it was Lee's idea," Wynnie tells me. "He doesn't want your parents to know, thinking it was reckless or something?" She says looking out to him. "Pretty much my parents offered to help me pay for school even after they moved, but when it came time for them to send some tuition money for me it never came. I talked to financial aid and I was running out of options. It was Shirley who suggested getting married so instead of being a Dependent Student, I was a spouse. It allowed me to get financial aid to continue with my studies and work part-time so Lee and I can contribute to a bit of the bills," Wynnie tells me.

"Your parents lied to you?" I ask frowning.

"More like 'oh we needed that for this or that'" Wynnie says with a shrug. "Anyways that's why we didn't make a fuss about it, and just eloped, it pretty much came down to helping me pay for school."

I nod my head as Shirley comes towards us with Owen tossed over his shoulder.

"Mama," she shrieks and I reach for her as Shirley hauls her towards me. She rubbed her eyes despite being excitable. I stand up with her in my arms and settle her on my hip.

"I am going to go get her down for a nap," I tell them. "I'll see you at dinner?"

"Of course," Wynnie says nodding her head and Shirley nods along. As I'm walking away. I can hear Shirley speak.

"You know, once we're done school, one of those might not be so terrible," he says to Wynnie. I don't see or hear a reaction, so I can only imagine that she aggress.

Mom drags us to another museum of some sort after Owens small cat nap, some old historic house of some random person I don't know or care about. But a wander around fairly interested at the old furniture and clothing they had out on display.

"Dada," Owen says reaching for an old tarnished photo frame of some old soldier from what appeared to be WW1?

"That was the son of the house, he was a captain in the war," the lady explains and I smile and nod my head to her.

"Yes that does look a bit like Daddy," I say to her amused at how she can find him in anything these days while he's away. Yet when he tried to talk to her in the morning she would get bored.

"Do you want to show him?" I ask her kissing her temple, reaching for my phone. Knowing most likely he wouldn't be able to pick up given the time most likely.

It goes to voicemail as I thought, but I leave a message before I take a video of asking Owen who the picture was to her. It's a cute little video that I send to him, so he can see it later.

"Okay, Owen we need to put the photo down," I say trying to keep her from breaking the photo frame with only causes her to shriek, tears and snot following shortly after.

"Dada! Dada!" She shrieks as she refuses to let go of the frame that I am old.

"Elowen Amalia Rose," I say through my teeth and she stops to stare at me.

"No!' She shrieks.

"We're going outside," I say to her, I managed to pry the photo from her hands and hand it to some poor museum person witnessing my child's meltdown.

I open the car door and deposit her in her rear-facing seat and sit next to her, locking the doors as she cries, her little legs kicking.

"Are you done?" I ask her when she quiets down to a whimper. I give her her sippy cup of water and wipe off her face. "getting mad isn't going to get you what you want," I tell her and she looks at me with her grey eyes and I sigh.

Though suddenly there was a knock on the window and I jump almost hitting my head in the car. It was the museum lady. I roll down the window. "I'm sorry, please tell me the photo is all right?"

"Oh it's fine, it's not even an original photo, just one we have for the show," She says. "I came to give you this, I try not to reward tantrums but a vacation should be enjoyable," she says passing over a photo in a more modern-looking frame. "My boss printed out a copy on her computer from the scan that we have." She explains.

"You didn't have to," I say unsure of what else to say. "Thank you," I say adding on.

"It's plastic so she can't break it," she explains and I nod my head once again. She then goes on with her day leaving us be.

I give Owen a few more minutes to calm down before finding my parents. Dad takes Owen from me as she is sucking her thumb exhausted from her tantrum, and I was happy to let him take the twenty-one pounds that she was.

"You're still doing wonderful," Dad tells me trying to give some word of encouragement. "Children always like to test your patience, really they never grow out of it," he says cheekily.

I roll my eyes and pick off some lint from Owen's little leggings I had her dress in. She was already outgrowing them and I swear I just bought them!

I find myself in Nan and Di's room as they get ready for dinner that night.

"I don't think I asked but how is Chris?" I ask Nan lying on the bed already dressed for dinner in a short sundress.

"He's good," Nan says blushing lightly as she pulled on a floaty skirt and light top. "He's prepping for his class he's helping teach this coming year," Nan explains. "We're also thinking about maybe moving in together?"

"What do mom and dad think about that?" I ask her and she shrugs. "Who says I have to tell them until it happens?"

"Right, all you managed to learn is how to play the system," I say shaking my head at them. "What you Di anyone new?"

"Not lately, I think I am going to just give up on dating and becoming the cool and crazy aunt that buys her batteries from Costco," Di says sigh as she pulled her dress over her head and pulled the stretchy material over herself, adjusting in the mirror as she checked herself out. I look to Nan who just laughs hysterically as she hip bumps her twin.

"Do I wish to know?" Walter says after a brief knock that Di answers for us.

"Probably not," I say getting up from the bed. "I should go check on Owen and get her dressed for dinner.

We end little restaurant on the bay that is slightly fancy and has a good menu for everyone. I get my usual salad with a side of chicken, and Owen gets a plate cut-up grilled chicken and steamed vegetables. Where my brothers and parents end up getting steak or chicken. It's a happy affair that is full of laughter.

"I remember when you were about six, and mom gave you a basket of cupcakes to carry over to another table. We were at some picnic and you got halfway and a goose starting to follow you . You were so scared so you chucked the whole thing into the duck pond and ran off crying," Walter says teasing me. "I had to go grab you and mom took you to calm down. I would say you have kept us all on our toes most of your life?"

"I remember the first time you escaped your crib and got the whole house into a panic," Dad grins. "No one thought to look in the bathroom, but there you were asleep on the potty."

"Great we're into the embossing stories," I groan. "People are trying to eat around us." I remind them.

"I remember the day you were born, though it was scheduled so we knew exactly when it was happening." Mom said smiling, her voice soft. "So curious you were hours old and now you're eighteen, where does the time ago?" She ponders out loud.

I understand it to a point, I think the same when it comes to Owen these days. She growing with me looking it feels like. We end up having cake back at the bed and breakfast. A strawberry shortcake that mom managed to find, or somehow ordered from somewhere knowing it was my favourite. I look at the eighteen candles that flicker in front of me.

What do I wish for?

I look around.

I know I'll have ups and downs, I'm still working through everything I've been through slowly with Beth. Nothing goes away that easily.

I want my pact as a friend to last with Olivia and Miranda to survive and flourish as we grow into adults.

I want Owen to grow up loved and protected, knowing that I'll always be there for her.

I want to dance, I want the impossible and will never stop trying to achieve it.

I want to approach college with an open mind to making new friends and not hiding my life from them.

But are those birthday wishes or just hope for the future? In the end, I blow out my candles and everyone claps for me and I smile at them. We all eat cake until Owen is practically asleep in my lap. I make excuses, to go to my little guest room and sink in the little window seat. A nighttime change in pyjamas and a fresh diaper before she settles down for a feed.

I look at the lighthouse that I can see in the distance outside my hotel window blinks as it cycles around. The light flashes in the misty sky, across the bay of the ocean. Owen stirs against me as I relax, falling asleep at my breast as the steady beat of my heart calms and lulls her into sleep once and for all tonight.

I hand her Mr. Dino which she latches on to the moment she feels him before closing her eyes once more. I watch her sleep which makes my heart flutter, as she burrows into me.

I look back to the old fresnel that lights up the ocean.

Because a lighthouse is exactly that, a fluttering light for anyone that needs just a bit of guidance.

Well, this is the end.

I do have a sequel in the works, I am not entirely sure when it will be out, but it will be titled Alluring Allegro, I promise it was involved some actual romance between the two characters that we all love from this story!

For now, thank you all for reading and for all the kind comments over these chapters. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, really!

Tina