Laying in the highway. It's warm, the black road, ya know the one with a thick pair a'yellow lines down the middle. I do a pencil roll and cross into the other lane! making sure to get a thorough heat massage, through and throughout my pasty little white body.
She stands;)
Now I got some highway grime on me. Which is a good thing, turns me kinda charcoal, the color I'm going for. I put a white bra and panties on before I left the house nothing else and my hair's dyed brown—-I'm a natural blonde—-and just lemme say I'm conspicuous as a poltergeist. Ah.
AYIEE!
The open road, I love it. Nighttime.
🎶I'm a warrior queen / Live passionately tonight / I'm gonna marry the night / Leave nothing on these streets to explore / I'm gonna burn a hole in the road🎶
And, appearing all night, moi, performing just for you, Ladies and Gentlerot!
I walk to the shoulder and get my shake on. Loose gravel jabs my cute lil paws so now I'm prancing and really lOOking like I consort with Constantine. A big truck roars past, a rock pops loudly under the tire and projectiles.
"Missed me, Jackass!" I shriek and delight.
I knew this guy who's hit in the head by gravel out walking the roads. But he had lived a good life.
I aint necessarily nervous being out here. Anxious maybe. Unnormally you see people out stalking country roads cause walking's for cityfolk. These hillbillies be watching me behind the wheels of their metal coffins wondering just what in hell that poor girl's doing out on the road at night. Alone. Half-naked. So of course I feels a bit conscientious from getting the stares I can't actually see them staring bc of their blinding lights but like public speaking being difficult at first in college, I'm out here trying to tame my road anxiety.
In undergrad a psych challenge to each of us: Walk into a crowded elevator, continue facing all the other occupants for the entire upride, crossed arms, and cope with all the disquiet now banging around inside of you. I feel anxiety ya know, just like you would, I'm not some clinical psychopath. But the point is not to push away the bouncy unstable feeling in your abdomen but to be in it and be aware you're in it. Give it a big hug. Knead it. After time a tolerance will develop. Like they say about every subsequent crackhit, you'll always be chasing after that first one cause the others only pale in comparison. I've never done crack btw, that shit's like a chemical spill. With Ivy connected to The Green and Woahmankind's baddest ecoterrorist, I always keep it natural.
I bend my knees, squat, shake my &%$# ass while a car swerves past me pounding on the horn I just dance&absorb the richness of it all this moment is so pregnant!
Gonna send back this Savage X Fenty quicker-picker-upper toiletpaper too all &%$# dirty return it directly to her house har!
🎶Red Hot Mama from Louisiana / Thumbing her way to Savannah / She been cooped up too long / She was smoking / Whooaaa🎶
For real I'm the color of both steam and fog a caravan a'cars peel past me it's like chaos out here the squealing brakes and the cat-calls this little road gets to be some tight spaces especially with traffic coming both ways and some lady out traipsing around to boot.
Who? Me:P
A screeching car stops on the shoulder, the doors swing open. Two dudes hop out one of em gotta pipe.
"Look at the little Sweety," he says as him and his gas-huffing compatriot get to approaching me. The other'n says: "Won't be needing these," and throws his pants in the ditch.
These rubes gonna be laying pipe huh? If anything I'm gettin me a stinkfist.
🎶Constant over stimulation numbs me / But I would not want you any other way / It's not enough I need more / Nothing seems to satisfy / I don't want it I just need it / To breathe to feel to know I'm alive🎶
They both seem to have a sense of wonder about me as a singer. I take the pipe. Stroke it.
Forty seconds . . . later I just pulled one of em by the ankles into the middle of the road a semi runs over the whole body really it goes burst and the guts shower the truck gets to laying on the brakes the whole thing fishtailing as it's skidding an attempted halt. Likely after midnight so I best be gettin don't wanna turn into a pumpkin! Or something like that I have this recurring dream about a pumpkin-headed janitor it's superweird but I hop in the car hit it'n reverse backover th-thump the other pipe-patrol bandit then speed off doublethump him again. "Next time don't be so &%$# eager!" I scream! You seen that movie right the one with Mickey and Mallory?
Like a bunch of dead deer sploded in the road back there I gotta make for town. The witching hour ticks away and this week I'm also working on my policestation anxiety so after I check that off I'm gonna meet Ivy at the Awful House she refuses to go inside but I'll grub in the parking lot while she watches me and I'll watch her. Date night anticipation! It too leaves a rioting inside my ribcage but the overt experience is much more a relaxing and peaceful ohm. Until of course Bernie gets to horseplay with his mate—-