-Chapter 17-
-Rachel pov-
I have been trying to help Kurt this week. Honestly both clubs have. It has been a nonstated ceasefire. One of our friends is down and he needs help back up. Burt is a great guy and him being in the hospital weighs on a lot of us.
I know this has not been the best of time for Kurt though. Mercedes tried cheering him up with a song a few days back.
-flash back-(Lyrics from genius)
[MERCEDES, (QUINN & TINA)]
As I lay me down
Heaven hear me now
I'm lost without a cause
After giving it my all
Winter storms have come
And darkened my sun
After all that I've been through
Who on earth can I turn to?
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you
I look to you
Yeah
And when melodies are gone
In you I hear a song
I look to you
You
About to lose my breath
There's no more fighting left
Sinking to rise no more
Searching for that open door
And every road that I've taken
Mmm
Led to my regret
And I don't know if I'm goin' make it
Nothing to do but lift my head
I look to you
I look to you
Yeah
And when all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you
I look to you
Ohh
And when melodies are gone
Yeah
In you I hear a song
I look to you (My levees are broken)
Levees are broken (My walls are coming)
Yeah
Wall come down (Tumbling down on me)
Coming down on me (The rain is falling)
Rain is falling (Defeat is calling)
'feat is calling (I need you to set me free)
Need you to set me free
Take me far away from the battle
I need you
Shine on me
I look to you
I look to you
After all my strength is gone
In you I can be strong
I look to you (To you)
I look to you, ohhh, ooooh (Oh-oh-oh)
And when melodies are gone (Melodies are gone)
In you I hear a song
I look to you
Yeah
I look to you
Ooooh
I look to you
"Some hollow prayers do not help Cedes" Kurt stand up from his chair shaking his head "My dad is all I have and is in the hospital! He may not make it out of there!"
"Kurt you just have to have fai~"
"What did faith get my mom?" Tears are falling down Kurt's face now "Where is she Mercedes? Cause if she was here then maybe I could have some faith"
-Current time-
It was not a good time at all. It has had me reflecting on things too. I broke my till 25 for the girls. I know I am falling in love with them but things have gone fast. I have never moved this fast before. Quinn is already talking about future kids and a dog.
I do not mind the future but what is to say we stay together? What is to say they do? What do we do if we do have kids? They can not mix eggs at all!
I have tried to give a bit of faith to Kurt. It was after I prayed with Mercedes, Tina, Quinn, and Fran. I thought the song was a nice addition. It apparently was not to Kurt.
-Flash back-(Lyrics from genius)
[RACHEL]
God... our heavenly Father
Oh, God... and my father, who is also in heaven
May the light... of this flickering candle
Illuminate the night the way your spir't illuminates my soul...
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you see me?
Papa, can you hear me in the night?
Papa, are you near me?
Papa, can you hear me?
Papa, can you help me not be frightened?
Looking at the skies I seem to see a million eyes
Which ones are yours?
Where are you now that yesterday has come and gone
And closed its doors?
The night is so much darker
The wind is so much colder
The world I see is so much bigger now that I'm alone
Papa, please forgive me
Try to understand me
Papa, don't you know I had no choice?
Can you hear me praying?
Anything I'm saying?
Even though the night is filled with voices
I remember everything you taught me
Every book I've ever read...
Can all the words in all the books
Help me to face what lies ahead?
The trees are so much taller
And I feel so much smaller
The moon is twice as lonely and the stars are half as bright
Papa, how I love you
Papa, how I need you
Papa, how I miss you
Kissing me good night...
"What are you all not understanding?!" Kurt stands up and tears fall down his face "Your prayers and songs do not help! He is not getting up from them! Just go...please go"
I go to talk but he turns away. I look to the ground and find my way out. I guess I can not help him at all. No matter what I just can not help.
-Current time-
"Today we have a song to start us off" I look up to see Kurt standing there "Kurt you may go"
"My dad moved today" Kurt sighs and looks toward me before speaking "You all never gave up hope for him and me...I am sorry I have been so hard..I just know faith is not something I hold onto..I hold onto love"
(Lyrics from genius)
[KURT]
Yeah, I'll tell you something
I think you'll understand
When I say that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
Oh please, say to me
You'll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You'll let me hold your hand
Now let me hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
And when I touch you, I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that my love I can't hide
I can't hide, I can't hide
Yeah, you've got that something
I think you'll understand
When I feel that something
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
I wanna hold your hand
"You are so strong" I get up and walk over to him "You are our family ok? We will always be there for you ok?"
He nods and I pull him into a hug. The club gets up and joins in. There is a throat clearing that makes us turn. It is Mercedes slowly walking in.
"I got kicked from the club" She looks at us nervously "You have room for one more?"
"Of course" I hold out my hand "The more the merrier"
She smiles as she joins our hug. Now for the group number we had planned.
(Lyrics from genius)
[TINA]
If God had a name, what would it be?
And would you call it to His face?
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
[FRAN and TROUBLE TONES]
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[RACHEL and TROUBLE TONES]
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home
Trying to make His way home
[KURT & QUINN]
If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see?
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like Heaven and in Jesus and the Saints
And all the Prophets
[FRAN and TROUBLE TONES]
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
[MERCEDES, RACHEL and TROUBLE TONES]
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home
Trying to make His way home
Back up to Heaven all alone
Nobody callin' on the phone
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
[FRAN, RACHEL and TROUBLE TONES]
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...
[MERCEDES, RACHEL and TROUBLE TONES]
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home
Just tryin' to make His way home
Just like a holy rolling stone
Back up to Heaven all alone
Just tryin' to make His way home
[TROUBLE TONES]
Yeah, yeah, God is great
[TINA]
(Nobody callin' on the phone)
[TROUBLE TONES]
Yeah, yeah, God is good
[TINA]
('Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome)
[TROUBLE TONES]
Yeah, yeah, yeah
"Now enough religion" We all look at a smiling Sue "Glad to hear Burt is back up..now get to work!"
"She loves us" Sue scoffs and we all laugh "We are her favorites"
"I can live with that" Mercedes smiles "It makes life easier"
We all nod and talk some. We are a little family in here. We all are happy to be in the group. We are going to be a force to be reckoned with.
I just hope we have nothing like this happen again.