Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in it.
IV.
- Wasted Minutes -
Perhaps to a side observer, it looked like that particular point in the ceiling was randomly chosen from her in the last two hours. In fact, it wasn't random at all, it was a dark spot that bothered her way too much than it should've. A small circle that ruined the flawless gray paint, almost unnoticeable but still there, like a drop of ink on a sheet of paper. It frustrated her that she had never noticed it before but now she regretted knowing of its existence. Now, it irritated her because it dragged her attention without her wanting it to.
She tore her gaze away from it, reaching for her phone on the bedside cabinet.
7:13. Way too early to get up.
Her eyelids felt heavy and her mind heavier. How do you acquire the mindset of a suicide? This kind deep of depression is layered. It's not something that can be cured as they cured a cold. It's not something you could wait out, so that it fixes on its own with time. Time, in this case, only worsened the condition, spreading the wound more and more open with every lonely hour.
Sakura remembered when they talked about suicidal behavior in her class. The reasons for people to act like that were various. Loneliness, helplessness, elders often committed suicide because they saw themselves as a burden. She had never waded, fortunately, that deep in the waters of depression, although she's had some awful nights too. It has always been important to her to try and imagine herself in the place of her patient in order to find ways to help and feel their pain. That tired her out quickly but it always worked.
Bad thing was, she was emotional and could never bring herself to be impartial. The fear of losing a patient's life because of a mistake still hung as a threat. Perhaps with every death, she would grow more indifferent and passive. For all this time, not a single patient of hers had died by now. She wasn't sure she was ready for the blow now.
Witnessing death was another matter. She had witnessed both dying people and dead. It always left her with a mix of shock, sadness, and sometimes anger that she could do nothing about it. Witnessing the death of a close one was something entirely different and she could not imagine it. The very attempt to recreate the emotion brought her to tears. Which led her to the question, why wouldn't she want to commit suicide if she had both witnessed death and lost a close one? There was no surprise in that behavior. Moreover, soldiers of any kind tend to have suicidal behavior and it wasn't unexpected.
The greatest suicide trigger was remaining all alone and isolated from others. And that was exactly what he was, at the moment. Because she didn't oppose him.
Sakura uncovered from the sheets angrily. The what if's returned, sinking into her already corroded with doubt mind.
What if I had stopped him there?
She scoffed, going to the bathroom. Yeah, so what? They were going to strap him down to a bed and watch as he dies slowly, refusing medical care. Madness.
What if it's all my fault?
What if he wasn't sure what to do at that moment? Her cooperation only incited him to go.
No, that was fully his decision. There was an ultimatum. If she had not played by his rules, she was probably going to end up hurt. Was the lack of opposition making her weak? And selfish? Doctors usually prioritized the patient before themselves.
Alarms of an ambulance and police cars interrupted her thoughts and she stepped to the window, absently searching for them. She saw only the last police car off the line before it disappeared around the corner. That sound was so well-known that she didn't even have it in her dreams anymore, used to hear it a couple of times a day. Most of the calls were a false alarm but nevertheless, it dragged her attention because it was unpleasantly connected with the matters she currently discussed with herself.
Was that ambulance for him? The chances were small but it wasn't impossible. She leaned on the cold, tiled wall and a shiver ran down her spine. Wearing only with her loose t-shirt, Sakura felt that the chill had already started crawling beneath her skin. She had been awake for three hours now and still had no idea what to do. Time progressed and she had to get ready for work. She brushed her teeth and her hair, averting her eyes from the mirror. It hard to look into it.
Uchiha? She was sure she had heard the name before. Somewhere in the news? It sounded familiar, a name she had heard many times but had paid no mind to it. Sakura put on her jeans and a thin sweater, reaching for her phone and keys and putting them in her bag.
A sudden thought crossed her mind and she froze.
...of course.
How did she not think of that earlier? She took her umbrella and dashed out of the apartment.
"Migaki?" Sakura was out of breath, running on her way to the hospital.
She shook off the raindrops off her umbrella and folded it. The dark clouds that hung over the city for days finally poured down, wetting the dusty streets.
"Sakura, are you alright?" The older man looked up at her, confused at the sight of her face. The cold had likely nipped her skin into a harsh blush.
Her relationship with Migaki was still a wonder to her. They were strangely close as if he was the uncle she never had. He worked in the hospital for more than seven years now and during her years of work she could always find support and help, whenever she needed to. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that he never had children but his fondness for her was unquestionable, which was why she sought his help when in trouble. This time he could prove himself even more useful than usual because what she needed was within his reach.
"I'm fine. I'm having a bit of a problem and I think you can help. We always write down a statistic about our patients, right? Dates and hours of arrival and discharging, names, addresses, social security numbers?"
"I believe we do. There is a data book for every month." The man replied, confused. "Why?"
"I need to see the notes."
"Just a second," Migaki reached for a shelf to his right and looked through the piled-up papers. "Do you search for a name in particular?"
"Yes. Uchiha Sasuke."
"We receive a lot of patients..." Migaki pondered, still searching. "Are you sure you can't give me anything more?"
"You know what, give me the documents from the last week. I'll find it."
"The whole week?"
"Yes."
Migaki pulled out a heavy ream of sheets and placed it before her. "Enjoy."
"Thank you," Sakura nodded and put on her glasses, impatient to leaf through the papers. She skipped through Monday and Tuesday and her index started tracing down the names under Wednesday — the day the soldiers arrived. It nailed on one of the rows and shifted on the right.
"You are awfully pale. You're not ill, aren't you?" Migaki kept looking down at his notes, trying to sound as casual as he could. That he was concerned was fully transparent, though.
"Mm..." Sakura let out a sound, absently. "Don't worry, I'm ok." A triumphant smile appeared on her lips as she drew out her small writing pad and copied the words from the list.
"Who said I'm worried?" His even intonation made her laugh.
"Migaki, you're always worried about me," she said, absent-mindedly. "That's all I needed, thank you again."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are," Sakura raised her eyes to him, tearing away the leaflet from her notebook, and tucked it in the inner pocket of her coat. "If you weren't so busy worrying about me, you would've noticed that Shizune comes here to leave the reports on her own every single night when she could ask anyone from the nurses to do it. See you later." Sakura bit at her lip as she quickly paced away, certain that he had frozen in place with the sudden realization. Someone had to tell him, eventually. It was getting ridiculous.
She returned to the locker room but didn't find her there so she turned down the corridor in a search for her figure. She always came on time, so there was no way she wouldn't find her—
"Sakura," Shizune called from behind. "You're here early."
"Ah, yes!" Sakura jumped, facing her right away. They stood still in a few seconds of awkward silence before Shizune tilted her head.
"There's a runaway," she started, slowly, "Assigned to you on Wednesday. We searched the Hospital and asked if anyone had seen him leave on Friday night. Anything you know about that? You're the only one left. That I haven't asked, that is."
In this case, having her neglecting her duty as a doctor weighed much more than the fact that her life had been threatened. Her actions could lead to the hospital's downfall, her career's downfall, and overall if anyone of the authorities knew she was personally responsible for that soldier's death, her life's downfall too. On the other side, higher instances were on his side and that meant any of the excuses she could come up with were only going to be used against her.
"That's the first time I heard about it," Sakura furrowed, authentic confusion written upon her face.
"And as far as I know, he had refused treatment before leaving."
"Yes, that's right."
Shizune shook her head. "These soldiers think themselves invincible and the worst thing is that might be the truth. If something happens to them, we'll be to blame. Tsunade is trying to find a loophole in the law that might be used in our defense."
"What about the soldier? Is no one going to take his actions into consideration?"
"Of course not. These boys and girls have a special position which means immunity."
"So we're screwed up," Sakura concluded.
"Absolutely," Shizune sighed heavily. "We'll see what we can do. There's still a chance for us to survive."
"I hope we do."
"I'll be going," Shizune made a few steps back but Sakura didn't move. "What is it?"
"Is it going to be a problem if I leave earlier than usual today?" Sakura's hands intertwined behind her back, her intonation most innocent.
"Why?"
"I need to do something..." Sakura explained slowly.
"Important?"
"Uh, yes."
Shizune scanned her from head to toe.
"Personal business," Sakura added.
"Well... I don't see why not. You always work overtime, I guess it won't be an issue if you leave early once."
"Thank you very much," Sakura nodded and smiled.
"It's nothing," Shizune backed away but stopped again as if remembering something. Sakura tensed again, her hands already sweating from the moment Shizune used the phrase You're the only one left.
"About your report... It's good you delay that for now. Waiting is all we can do in a situation like this. Who knows, there might be a change of heart in that patient of yours. Pain does some wonders, he might be back sometime soon."
With these words, Shizune left her presence.
But ...it's different with this one.
Sakura stopped, eyes sinking in the air tiredly.
He made the choice himself... to suffer. There was one thing that particularly transfixed her when she laid eyes on that man for the first time. He stood completely still and silent, without a single nerve moving in his body although the wound suggested severe pain. She had seen nothing like that for all of her years of work. Usually, only half of her time was spent on actual medical care, the other half was appeasement. An action that included her, persuading the patient everything is going to be fine and distracting them from the pain with purposefully asked questions.
True, she rarely had patients that were brought directly from the battlefield but his behavior was rather odd. It was human and within the normal range of reactions to reflect the pain in some way. It was well-known that soldiers had discipline, restricting them to show any external outbursts. That man, however, looked like he had never left the battlefield. Intentional or not, he demonstrated not only tenacity but austerity of the highest rank. If there has ever been something she was sure of in her life, it was that he's not coming back.
The hours drifted slowly and as much as Sakura had a hard time passing through them, Ino and her new friend just didn't allow her a moment in peace. Having them following her around was both a curse and a blessing. Their constant presentation of kisses and exchange of compliments sounded like a poorly written chick-lit but at least their company livened her up. Not that she needed a distraction while working. Her thoughts were going to suffocate her, if she found herself spending more than a minute on her own and that's why she welcomed the distraction of Ino's cheerful babble, alternating with Sai's rare interventions that offered a bit of a change from her tone.
The day in the hospital was overall quiet, perhaps the tatter of the rain outside had something to do with it. In a couple of minutes when Sai was out of their range of vision, Ino swore to her that she and Sai wouldn't tell anyone about the second lieutenant's act of sharing classified information and they promised to keep it a secret. Sakura made sure no one knew about what happened when she visited Naruto for the second time, using the visit to check up on him and she was glad to know that his health was improving. Fortunately, Ino let her know that the rest of the group was doing great, too.
Sakura spent the rest of the work hours accepting patients in her cabinet, as she usually did if there wasn't anyone with more severe injuries assigned to her.
The clock hit four and she decided to leave, the anticipation already draining her. Her nerves were tensed the whole day but now the uneasiness was tangible. After the last patient left her cabinet with gratitude, Sakura began to tidy up her desk, gathering the sheets in front of her to tap them together. She leaned down, reaching the second shelf of the desk. Her hand stopped in mid-air with the sight of a particular prescription bottle in the corner.
Sakura left the sheets in but took the bottle, closing afterward.
Her eyes ran through the warnings on the white label absently and a furrow appeared on her brows. She glanced through the window for a moment, the rain had stopped but the drops from the roof still drummed on the metallic ledge.
Not wasting another second, Sakura stood up and went straight to the locker room, hiding the pills in her pocket.
She was wrong, it still drizzled outside but it didn't bother her. Leaving the hospital early was the easy part, now for the hard one. The address she got in the morning, she had no clue where to start looking. Konoha was a large city and she only knew two, maximum three districts and, honestly, knew them rather poorly. With all these restrictions and a complete lack of free time, she wasn't one to stride the city streets carelessly. If she went out for a walk, it was with a group of people but that became a rare activity anyway, now, when the weather was cold.
"Excuse me, miss. We'll stop you right there." A firm voice ceased her trail of thoughts and she raised her head up, taken aback by the sudden presence. Then came the formal introduction, "Officers Izumo Kamizuki and Kotetsu Hagane."
Two armed policemen had intercepted her way and now waited for her answer. Raw, pale faces, the impenetrable tone ascertained her that in their eyes she, as well as anyone that stood in their way, was a potential criminal until a real proof refuted that accusation.
"I am a doctor," she announced, at last.
"Identity documents, please," the other man said, mechanically.
Sakura rummaged in her bag until she found her ID and business card, with the hospital's logo, her name, and phone number.
"The work time ends in an hour. What are you doing outside..." the first one read through the cards for a moment. "Dr. Haruno? You seemed distracted."
"I have permission to leave work early."
"And what's the reason?"
"A person is in need of immediate medical attention. I was just going their way."
"Oh, so that was the hurry about."
"Yes."
Sakura felt that they didn't trust her fully but she decided to remain silent while they were thinking. The first police officer handed the cards to the other, glancing at him.
"Mind if we... escort you to the place? You know, just to make sure you're not planning anything funny or someone doesn't hurt you on your way."
Sakura furrowed, slightly taken aback by the offer. "O-Of course, not a problem."
"Where are you headed to?"
Sakura put her hand in the inner pocket of her coat but the man in her right gripped her hand, forcing her to freeze in place.
"Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?"
"This is just a piece of paper," Sakura almost exclaimed, astounded at their lack of trust.
Izumo hesitated but eventually loosened his hold on her and she pulled out the note, showing it to him.
"I will be honest..." Sakura murmured and they looked at her in expectancy. "I don't know where that is, exactly. I planned on asking passers-by as I go."
"I see," Kotetsu said absently, his gaze nailed to the note. "That's five blocks from here."
"We better hurry, if it's really an emergency, as you say."
"Thank you for your help," Sakura managed, smoothing back her hair inconveniently. "I'm obliged."
"We take care of the well-being of the citizens of this city as you do. It's only a matter of duty."
Sakura let out a deep but quiet sigh as the three of them marched forward. The whole atmosphere was ridiculously exaggerated. If she didn't know they suspected she had criminal intentions (which she assumed was roused by the color of her hair, in her opinion during a war one would dye their hair pink only in two cases: the person is a rebel or part of a rebellious gang or has mental aberrations) she would've felt special with all this attention.
"A doctor on call, huh?" Kotetsu asked, returning the cards to their owner.
Sakura slid them into the pocket of her trousers absently.
"When it's necessary, yes."
"You do understand, doctor, that walking all alone in the rain at that unusual hour isn't recommended," Izumo glanced back at her.
"I fully understand that," Sakura kept on with the even intonation.
"And what's with the hair?" Kotetsu asked, slightly caustic.
"Degradation of melanin, officer. Caused by a bioweapon. It can't be reversed, changed or cured, I have tried."
Sakura feared that her voice sounded way too severe and the officers could think it's a threat of some kind. They didn't reply in one long minute. The only sound remained their steps on the wet, at places muddy, ground. She wondered if they didn't consider taking her into custody. Doing that meant she would waste at least a day or two there. Her heartbeat increased at the thought. It was a chain reaction, a domino. If he died, everything would crumble down. Every minute was important. Every minute away from him... was a wasted one.
Sakura raised her eyes in surprise. The sentence echoed in her mind, its ambiguity strikingly vivid. She did that for the sake of the hospital and for the sake of everyone's careers and lives in it. It was so easy... all she had to do was persuade him to save his own life because his life was the single, thin thread everything was holding on to.
No... goodness. A person's life did not equal a career or some institution's future. She would never lower the value of life. Under no circumstances was she to compare his life with all these things. That would drive him back. Mentioning how important was that he makes the right decision was out of the question.
Then, how?
How to change his mind without doing any harm?
"Here it is, the second one on the left. It's a rich man's quarter," Izumo announced, folding hands.
"Ain't that the late boss's house? Heard he has a property here, in that part of the city," Kotetsu furrowed, looking at the solid-built house.
"Ehh, not sure... The one who was assassinated with his wife, in their car?"
"Yeah. How was it?"
"Uchiha?"
"That one."
Sakura raised a brow. Late boss? Who were these Uchiha exactly? She could swear she had heard the name but couldn't really remember what was it linked to. To the police, most likely but he must've been a VIP, judging from the way his home looked like. Anyway, her attention was drawn to the house. Whoever these Uchiha were, they were surely quite wealthy.
The black iron fence surrounded the spacious courtyard of the house (or she'd rather call it an estate). Seemed like there's been a garden previously but now everything was withered and overgrown with weeds as if it'd been neglected for years. Even the windows appeared dusty. Overall, the air around it was pompous — cream paint harmonically fit the beige framed windows; and a wide veranda, a higher level above the ground. The few stairs led to the front door — wooden, with fancy incrustations and a bell.
Izumo let out a hiss.
"Thought no one lived in that house anymore."
"I thought so too. Wait a minute..." Kotetsu stepped in front of Sakura and she leaned back, surprised. "That story of yours, I'm not really buying it. If I were walking all alone in the rain, in that hour, with that address in my pocket, I would positively be on my way to rob that house. Does that sound a familiar plan to you?"
"I showed you a business card, I really am a doctor."
"Could be fake. I'm almost sure it is."
Sakura stood still, her mind forcing in order to find an escape. She was too close to give up. "Officer, there is a person in need of help in there. Your late boss had two sons, didn't he?"
The man was taken aback, glancing to his colleague for a moment.
"I guess. What about it?"
"You must read the news... The Elite Forces? They are currently residing in Konoha." Sakura felt that her facts had more weight but she had to lie this time. It was for the greater good. "I've been sent to help a soldier. His name is Uchiha Sasuke and he might be dying as we speak. So if you please, officer, let me go."
Kotetsu squinted, estimating her in one long pause but eventually gave up, shifting away. "If what you say is the truth and there is really someone that inhabits that place, you'll come back through the front door."
Sakura scowled.
"We'll be waiting for you if you don't mind. Doctor." Izumo spoke, evenly.
"As you wish," Sakura sighed and walked ahead. She pushed open the iron fence and entered, slowing down a bit.
She feared the truth was she had no plan of action. Still, she barely knew what kind of a person her patient is. All she knew of him was from the point of view of the ones who knew him closely and their opinion of him was not... positive. If he was as morbid as the few times she encountered him, the others' judgments wouldn't surprise her. Even though such behavior was only natural for one with a hole in his skin.
Sakura took the four steps to the porch and stopped in front of the door, reaching for the bell. It rang out and it was her turn to wait, hands in her pockets and taking a deep breath.
Sure, he wouldn't be that bad.
The door opened and before she could react a hand pulled her harshly in, bashing her body to the wall next to it. After the door slammed shut, it became pitch black. Sakura didn't dare move or breathe, a feeling of something cold and metallic against the side of her neck stopped her from doing so. A barrel of a gun. He exhaled slowly. It was so quiet that she heard the sound clearly.
"I—" Sakura spoke out but the click of a lowered hammer silenced her.
Her heart started pounding vigorously against her chest and she was sure the shattered doses of oxygen she inhaled were giving her out. Fear chased every thought she could come up with and she sank deeper and deeper in the impasse she made herself.
"Thought you'd come," Sasuke spouted, head slightly tilting.
A long pause followed in which neither of them spoke or moved. Being at a gun's point had some serious effects, one of which was striking a balance between what you've done with your life and what you could've done if you had more time. Flashes of regrets and things left unsaid or unfinished. Sakura had a hard time believing her life could end right now but one never knows.
"Was I not clear enough when I said I'd kill you if you call someone? Or you think I was bluffing?"
"Listen to me—"
"Police officers? Really? You'd need at least a dozen to take me down."
"They're not here for you," Sakura explained with a trembling voice. She furrowed, not able to discern anything more than a silhouette while he remained silent, after her remark. "They think I'm here to rob the house," she continued, proving him wrong.
"And I thought Naruto was the dumbest person on the planet," Sasuke noted, exasperated. "Well, good for them."
Sakura slowly took a breath and exhaled, in an attempt to calm herself down. "Bright light causes you headaches," her words came out involuntarily. "That's why you keep it dark in here."
"Shut your mouth," Sasuke snapped angrily, making her flinch.
She hesitated for a moment, her hand had slipped into her pocket in the meantime. If he had decided to die, after all, she could at least give him the pills... At least that was what she thought until her hand touched something else. Sasuke sensed the movement and pressed the gun harshly against her skin. Sakura closed her eyes for one still second but didn't give up, her hand already pulling out the card. He switched the hold of the gun to his right hand, using the left to twist hers behind her back.
"I can break bones, too."
Perhaps the years of training and weightlifting helped her here, perhaps it was just the adrenaline but she managed to wrest her arm from his fairly easy and raised the card to the level of their faces in an instant. The gun was still pointed at her throat when she swallowed again, realizing that her mouth had become painfully dry.
"Take it. Please," she whispered, deciding it was a good choice since their faces were close enough for her to feel his breath on her skin.
Sasuke took the card from her slowly, his gaze still steadily fixed on her.
"Take these two idiots," he leaned in, closer to her ear. "...and get off my sight."
He backed off, clicking the door open, whereat she stepped outside as fast as she could. It slammed behind her with such ferocity that she blenched.
Sakura turned around, her eyes rested on the handle for one long moment, without blinking.
Alright. Maybe he was that bad, after all.
A/N: Thanks for reading, guys! Thanks to all who joined in, too. Glad to have you. I think that if I could write a single scene that would sum up SasuSaku, that would be the last one here, in this chapter. Will be seeing you in chapter 5 with a bit of InoSai and a bit of terrified Sakura.