Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.

X.

- Double Feed* -

Sakura's eyes blurred at the sight. No light was illuminating through any of the windows of the residence. Darkness loomed over and although the metallic skies had finally started to come down in the shape of a quiet patter an hour ago, Sakura paid it no mind, letting the water soak her clothes. How inconvenient, if she knew she'd end up here, she wouldn't put on a dress. She and Ino usually went out after training and showering at the gym and that's why she always brought clothes for the case. Her clothes weren't convenient. Her looks weren't convenient. Nothing she did felt convenient lately too. She felt like she was missing all her marks lately and she missed yet another one, and it didn't have to hurt her so much but it did.

Dread already clenched her chest like a vice and her heart pounded restlessly.

What happened to your dignity?

She ran to the front door but found it to be locked.

You made a promise to yourself. To grow up. To value what you've become.

A moment of hesitation held her back before she smashed open the door with her elbow. Strong, dull pain pushed out the breath from her lungs and blinded her for the next few seconds.

You don't even see how low you've fallen, no wonder he called you desperate.

Fortunately, the only broken thing was the locker.

"Sasuke!" She called out, voice trembling. "Where are you?"

The house was as quiet and as dark as ever but Sakura ran directly up the stairs, her eyes already adjusting to the dark.

Look at you, crawling back as if it's your life you're in a hurry to save.

"Sasuke, do you hear me?" She groped about, finding the way to his room.

Do you know what's funny? He would never do the same for you. You know that, right? I hope you do.

Her shaking hands opened the door just to see him raising the gun to his temple.

But if not me, who's gonna come?

"No!" Sakura wailed, raising her hand but he pulled the trigger.

The moment prolonged in a way, Sakura waited for the deafening sound of the shot but instead, a stifled clack was all that reached her ears. Then... silence. Sakura still didn't dare breathe or move. What happened? The gun must've jammed because there was no real shot.

If the breaking of a heart had a sound it surely was going to be of falling raindrops. There was no shot, but he pulled the trigger nevertheless. Perhaps it was the weather, the people, or her job, but humanity had never seemed so hopeless to her at that very moment. The last days of her life portrayed vividly the grotesque of existence she and the ones around her imitated. It was a vast, calm sea but somehow everyone drowned. And she wanted to reach for someone, not save for it was impossible for a drowned man to save another, but to offer a hand so that the world doesn't remain the lonely place it has always been, until the end. Sakura tried to shake off the horror of a realization. Although not physically, she witnessed the first loss of a patient in her care.

A puff of amusement wrested out of his chest. "Even my gun betrays me."

Sasuke held the gun up to the light and examined it. His position in front of the window allowed Sakura to discern a bit more than a silhouette. At any other time, the drumming of the water drops on the glass would've cheered her up because she used to love rain, but not now. Now the sound crawled underneath her skin and unsettled her mind like never before.

"Double feed..." Sasuke's voice was soaked with disappointment. "Rare."

He removed the magazine and pulled the slide once, then twice. The rounds fell down, the brass creating a ringing echo when they hit the concrete. Sakura made a few slow, insecure steps toward the window. If God didn't favor him, she didn't know whom he favored. The cartridge hadn't made its way out, clutching with another that didn't allow the gunshot to happen.

"Let's see if it's rare enough."

"Please," Sakura pleaded quietly.

Sasuke reinserted the magazine and reloaded it.

"Do you not care about all the pain you'll cause?" Stepping in the faint light next to him, she feverishly searched for his eyes.

"Pain?" he scoffed, lowering the hammer. "To whom? The neighbors?"

"You have friends among the people you think enemies," Sakura whispered, hand reaching for his but he aimed at her forehead at lightning speed.

"Step away or I'll shoot you first. Leech." Dark flames burned within his eyes and Sakura raised her hands up, heart leaping madly in her chest. "I've had enough of impostors and liars."

"Fine. Shoot," Sakura spoke shakily, looking him in the eye. "Nobody knows I'm here."

"Any last words?" He squinted. "You like to talk, I'm sure you have something more to say."

Sakura's tried to normalize her breathing and form a sentence over the adrenaline spike. "I-I don't know... what everyone else wants from you." Her violently trembling hands took the gun and slowly lowered it down until it aimed at her heart. "But I'm not here to take, I am here to give."

"You don't understand anything," he muttered under his breath. "I'll end this once and for all."

"This is not going to solve anything," Sakura tried but was cut off immediately.

"Cheap. You don't know that."

"Tell me what you want to hear."

"Desperate. Again."

She swallowed. "Don't be—"

"Annoying."

"You're stronger than this."

"And you don't know anything about me!" He pushed the gun at her palpitating heart, his voice so harsh that she faltered a small step backward. Her hands touched the edge of a wooden cupboard somewhere close behind her. One more step back and she could find herself cornered. What frightened her most was that she came with no plan. Even if she had thought of something before entering that room, her head was now rage twisted his features into a grimace of pain.

"You don't know where I've been... or what I've seen," his hand caught her neck and clenched around it. "Don't think you can come here and do as you please."

Sakura felt the shortness of breath but forced her hands to stand still beside her. Fighting him back wasn't what she wanted to state. "I didn't come to compare with you," scarcely breathing, Sakura managed another whisper. "I just want you to live."

"What do you care if I'll live or not?" His force triggered her instinct and she felt the urge to wrench out from his grip but instead, her hands rested on his gently.

"You said it..." she inhaled with difficulty, "...yourself. I hate to lose. I am not losing you."

"You are nothing to me!" Sasuke backed away from her, furious. "Nothing."

Sakura leaned on the window for a second, wheezing and trying to catch a breath.

"I hate you," he continued vehemently, "You make me sick."

"Hate me..." Although he burned with anger, Sakura forced herself to get near again, looking up to his eyes, "but don't take away your life."

She reached for the gun in his hand again, shaking out of her mind. The only sounds in the room were the muffled rain and their breathing, uneven and shallow. Whatever he thought of, it wasn't benevolent and she could feel it, but now was not the time to give up. Right when she was so close. Not until he decided to loosen his grip on the gun after what seemed to her an eternity, she took it from his hand and immediately stepped back, meaning to leave it carefully on the cupboard. It didn't look like it in his hand, but it was rather heavy and she had to be honest with herself, a tingle of fear went through her for a moment.

As she never had the opportunity to hold a device with which you could take away a life, her nervousness increased vastly when such a device fell into her hands. Naturally, she hurried to get rid of it as fast as she could, placing it at a safe distance. Hands hovering over it, she swallowed down and tried to remove that dire feeling lingering within, as if a single touch to the metal was all it was needed to corrupt her. Weapons were the one thing she harbored deep detestation for. Good thing she managed to separate this one from its owner.

The sudden near presence startled her and she shifted away. Sasuke grabbed the gun again, but only to let the hammer down and slam it back on the surface hard enough for Sakura to flinch. Her nerves were so tensed that she feared her body was near a collapse, heart still pounding vigorously. Every sense of hers was so sharpened that a single touch could break her down. And it almost did. Sasuke turned her chin, forcing her to look his way. The light was insufficient for her to see or read his expression. The pupils of her light moss eyes fell in the light, though, and he probably saw it crystal clear that they were widened in fright. He stood still, like he was testing her endurance, but something about his body language and the way he had tensed hinted to her that he was amidst a battle of his own, though he was better at hiding it than her.

"What are you doing here?" his cold, imperative tone returned. It had the incredible ability to transform everything he said into a striking accusation, imposing guilt in the process. Sakura was close to tears due to the massive weakness that now enveloped her under his judgmental gaze. "How did you even come in, did you break the door?" Sasuke narrowed his eyes, letting go.

Sakura was frozen in place, her mind trying to find an explanation. When it found none, her eyes dropped down in defeat. "I... I-I will pay for the... damage," Sakura paused, glancing up at him for a second. "Once I save up enough money."

Sasuke heaved a heavy sigh. It was more of exhaustion than anything else. Sakura didn't move from her spot, afraid that any movement would abuse his fragile composure and easily trigger his anger. "You can't just break through my door," he stepped closer, voice down, "and change my plans like that. Who do you think you are?"

Amazed how terrifically insignificant their height difference made her feel, Sakura succeeded in forming a simple yet versatile answer. Thinking about the consequences after it was beyond her at the moment. "I'm your doctor." She had assigned herself to take care of him without knowing it, that was the truth. Why, she still hadn't comprehended fully. Darkness had always, always attracted her... not the type of darkness that hurt but the one that you can rest in.

"I don't want your pity," Sasuke's voice was clear and cutting. Sakura already got used to it, though, it didn't bother her as much it did previously. What bothered her more was the lack of space between them.

"Pity?" she asked, absentmindedly, eyes raising to find his already fixed on her. "How about compassion? Do you like the word better?"

"Keep your compassion for yourself," Sasuke retorted. "I don't want anything from you."

"I will leave," Sakura announced firmly. "I have only one condition before I do that."

"I'm listening."

"I'll take the gun."

"I'd rather die than give it to you."

Sakura made a pause.

"Okay, I'll stay here then."

"So brave," Sasuke noted. "You don't want to test me."

"I won't if you give me the gun."

A smile ghosted on his lips. Apparently, her stubbornness amused him greatly. Sakura couldn't believe it but her strategy worked. He seemed to enjoy competition, so she used it as a distraction.

"What are you gonna do, stay here for hours?" he mocked. "Don't you have other patients... to be compassionate to?"

"My shift is over," Sakura shrugged. "I can stay here until 8 am tomorrow."

"And if I try to kill you?"

Sakura remained silent, clenching her jaw. The lump in her throat stopped her from answering right away. She didn't want to sound weak, she didn't want her voice to crack in defeat which she knew was bound to happen. But her eyes betrayed her, filling up with tears. "Then I'll die," she drawled, "trying to redeem you."

What? Her mind continued the conversation as he sank into a loud silence, one of those only he could create. As if he shouted out but without a sound. You don't think you deserve redemption? Or you're too proud to admit you need it? A shiver ran down her spine, the wet clothes had cooled down her body faster than she expected. That void within her, the one she thought was hollow, long dead, suddenly felt like a gaping wound. A void that searched for a way to be filled. And she knew there was no way she could reject that want. He wouldn't, that was already clear to her. His determination was in excess and that slightly worried her. Whatever his intentions, she needed to stop the disintegration of his soul before it was too late.

Before she could decide how to respond so that it doesn't appear pushy or untimely, Sasuke lifted her up and she easily wrapped herself around him. Not patient enough to wait for him to carry her to the bed, she leaned in to kiss him. A rehearsal kiss.

The adjusting seemed to take an awful amount of time, magnetizing the space between them even more. The fact that neither of them was actually much of a talker when it came to this imperceptibly rose the tension. In the battle of patience, though, she most definitely won. He slid down her tights while she unbuttoned his shirt, both eager to get rid of whatever clothes they had on. The only inconvenience remained the nipping cold air. Sakura felt the gentle touch of the soft sheets beneath along with the harsh one above her. She tentatively offered to wrap her legs around him and he pushed them apart with a harsh motion, sending an unpleasant shiver down her spine. Her stomach spasmed with uneasiness. At least one thing was for sure, he was in no way going to spare her. So be it, he could have her body, her skin as the morphine he refused to take artificially.

The way their bodies united at first was rather unexpected. She exhaled sharply as he pushed into her ravenously, stretching her painfully. Then again... and again. Careless and cruel, as if she didn't matter. The initial pain was stinging and immense and it drew the breath out of her lungs as she writhed underneath him, clenched. Her hands couldn't push him away for every time she did he pinned them down easily.

"Sasuke," she pleaded again, amidst the burning discomfort he caused her.

"Isn't that..." he spoke in her ear, something of a triumph in his tone, giving her another mean thrust, "...what you wanted, huh?"

"Please," Sakura begged, voice choked up and tears blurring her vision against her will because his grip was iron and it seemed his heart didn't know the mercy she sought. But... that just meant nobody had offered it to him before. "Sasuke," voice faltering into a caress, she made a final attempt, this time her hands slipping away from his grip and reaching for his face hopelessly. Her fingers brushed through his hair as she heaved up to place a tender kiss on his lips, hers curving in a forced smile. "This is not you." She couldn't explain it. She just felt it. It was just a simple feeling.

Her words surely fazed him. He froze completely for a moment, forehead almost touching hers. She slightly tilted her head, patiently waiting for his reaction. The pause extended as they both stood still in the dark. "Slow down, alright?" Sakura wearied, pulling him into another, deeper kiss, this time swirling their tongues together. The touch, thankfully, was nothing like the ones before and she allowed herself to breathe him in freely and moan in his mouth. That was so much better.

Wondrously, Sasuke obeyed and within the first time he thrust into her, a gasp escaped her lips and broke their kiss. Her torso slightly arched alongside his, finally able to feel something else than pain. Spasms started spreading through her body and she wreathed tighter around his waist. He repeated and another moan escaped from her lips. If she wasn't so close, she wouldn't have felt the slight shudder that went through him as her fingers squeezed the only spot on his skin that wasn't exposed... on purpose. He did a fine job of hiding the pain he caused to himself every time he leaned on his right hand. Sakura tried to avoid causing any additional pressure to his shoulder, but it wasn't like she didn't want him to feel something close to what he did to her minutes ago. Just once.

"You deserved it," Sakura mouthed, trying to catch her breath.

"Damn you," his voice softened vastly at the end, with the thrill of another eager response from her body.

His lips traced the line of her neck down to its base, where her collarbones met and her skin was most sensitive. Bittersweet sensations overflowed Sakura's senses, body protesting at the amount of pressure and straining she put it through for the second time this day. Only that time she burned with dim ardor, craving for the sweet ache Sasuke granted her with. The warmth and hardness of his skin all over emanated was soaking through hers and she welcomed whatever came along with it. Their scents intermingled, light fragrance and heavy musk, so strong that their combination had become a discernible taste in their mouths.

Ecstatic shivers ran down her spine as he pressed her down at waves with controlled force, not too slow, but not too fast. Sakura couldn't believe his delicacy, almost sure that he had taken her humble request for an order. The closer and deeper he got the measured his movements became. His hand inspected the curve of her breast, slid down the smooth line of her waist, and by the time he had reached the soft skin on her hips, her skin had pricked, susceptible to the touch. As she was grinding with a needy pace, she could feel the heat of friction between their fit bodies and the racing breaths of air as she kissed and touched on. He switched between the eager, chaotic kissing and the rhythmic, controlled one he synced with the thrusting.

Her strength began to leave her with the multiple attacks she received simultaneously, pain and pleasure blending in one impossible cycle. Every strain of her thighs came with a sour, unpleasant sensation that almost made her groan but then again, every time it did, Sasuke's voice echoed in her ears with a low and compelling weakness that scattered away her discomfort and coursed through her with stabs of pleasure in her core. It was such a relief he kept a slow pace, at times forcible, but never enough to hurt her. Yielding, Sakura almost smiled because he tried hard to keep up with the image he created for himself, but it was of no use because the gentle touch came to him so naturally that it betrayed him right away. He clearly wasn't as cold and certainly not as reserved as he claimed to be and it amused her a lot more than it had to.

Quick to reply, Sakura rolled her hips against his into an opening motion — a supple, insignificant movement, but it hit the mark, wresting out a moan he failed to suppress. Sakura relished on his, at last, genuine reactions, joining in with her own. He hid all the pleasure she caused him poorly, and she loved it more and more, the worse it got. Now that their voices echoed simultaneously, her fervor returned with unrelenting force.

"Sakura, you need to stop..." Sasuke started a sentence but couldn't bring himself to finish it, his hand rested on her hip ready to push her away or steady the rocking motions that sent shocks of pleasure through him. "I shouldn't..."

Sakura found his ear, panting, "I got it, it's—it's fine, don't stop." She didn't really have it planned out that far, but all she knew was that she didn't want him to ever stop. Quiet cries escaped her lips until a convulsion didn't quake her at the sound of his voice letting out a strangled moan.

Her mind dazed with the delightful warmth that spread through her veins and the heated waves, and for an indefinite amount of time, she couldn't feel anything else except the throbbing of her own body. All the tension they've built dissolved at an instant and all that remained was the consistent pour of the rain outside.

Gradually, their panting faded to normal breathing and she could hear herself think again. Sakura made a faint attempt to shift under him, hands slightly pressing against his chest, but he protested, demanding her to stay still for a few moments more. A tad confused, she relaxed back and waited. One thing was for sure, he had forgotten how a human touch felt like. She couldn't find any other reason for him to act like that. He could've sent her away or hurt her in various ways but his final choice, mildly said, astounded her. It wasn't like he couldn't get that from any female he took a liking in. Her fingertips danced just barely over his shoulder blades and caressed the skin with uncertainty.

"Better?" Sakura whispered as he parted from her with a slow movement. Instead of answering he scoffed, turning his back on her and relaxing on the pillow to his side. The sudden lack of warmth Sakura felt came along with a realization that hit her like a train. Of course, he didn't want to have anything in common with her. She was only a tool.

The thought only was enough to upset her immensely in a short time and tears blurred her eyes. Sakura turned to the other side, palm under her head. Alright... she couldn't stop them this time. They streamed down her eyes, wetting the pillow. Being a daily witness to truly horrible things, she didn't believe she'd come to tears because of something as casual as that. Obvious, even.

Her heart was heavy and her chest tight with all the things she wanted to express, along with a feeling that crushed her down for quite some time. She denied it, tucking it aside, pretending it didn't exist, pretending it was an idea, a figment of her mind that she had accidentally created in order to lend color to her colorless life. But the pain it brought was completely real. And it was an unknown pain, one that she didn't know how to treat.

So it was true then... she was in love.

A quiet sob tore away from her and she covered her face with hands. What did she fall into?

The unexpected touch startled her and she held her breath. Sasuke slipped his hand down her toned stomach and pulled her back until their bodies pressed to one another. Sakura's eyes went to and fro in confusion. Resisting the urge to turn around, she exhaled with the idea of calming herself down, but her breath came out shattered anyway. Prepared for rejection, her trembling hands made a slow attempt to rest on his that now enveloped her delicate form. Sasuke tensed, at first, but she didn't give up and after a while, he eased. Second after second, exhaustion dragged her down and drowsiness took over her as her aching body relaxed by his skin... he was probably unaware of its overwhelming effect on her.

Sakura stood still for a long time, listening to his calm breathing and a bitter smile appeared on her lips. She had just found her new favorite sound.

*With a double feed you have a round in the chamber and another round is attempting to be loaded into the chamber behind it causing the two bullets to push up against each other and jam the gun, withholding it from firing.

A/N: Thanks a lot for reading!