Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it.

XVIII.

- As One -

"Quickly. I need to lacerate the skin a bit more," Sakura furrowed over the tray with the instruments, putting her medical gloves. "Karin, can you—"

"Iodopovidone?" Karin glanced up at her, already pouring the liquid on a piece of cloth. "I know a thing or two, rookie. I was here years before you came."

"You're right." Sakura continued disinfecting the instruments. Was that really the time for her to bicker like that? "Ino, bring some towels."

"Right away."

Field conditions. It was as bad as it could get. That dull-colored room they were currently in was so inconvenient and unsuitable for a surgery that it raised the bar of her nervousness even more. The lighting was insufficient, the instruments didn't give her a great choice, their variety being way more limited than she was used to. Even the table Naruto put him on before leaving was quite an ordinary one. The atmosphere was so dark and basic that it felt positively medieval.

She would have originally let the bullet stay as it was in Kakashi's body because it was the usual way to go and often leaving the bullet in the wound was the preferred medical solution. Many shot patients she'd previously had, expected the bullet in them to be immediately removed, but the truth was, removing it caused more problems in most of the cases, especially if the surgery needed to be done somewhere close to a vital organ.

This time, though, she couldn't afford to let that bullet rest there. The spleen was the one organ that needed to stay clean of any outer, foreign substances due to its tight connection with the blood circulation. Transfer and removal of the senescent red blood cells are of the spleen's primal functions. Having a metal piece ripping the body's blood filter was unthinkable.

If the bullet had ripped up further, of which Sakura was almost sure, the white pulp that produced antibodies was affected too. Leaving that bleeding internally was even worse. The spleen also usually held a reserve of extra blood, which found its application whenever a hemorrhagic shock occurred. One that Kakashi was going through right now. With the organ cleaved like that, it was of no use.

"You better stay completely still through that, Captain," Karin applied the dark liquid around the wound but Kakashi... didn't reply. "Sakura?"

"What is it?" Sakura just took the scalpel when Karin furrowed.

"I think he passed out," Karin removed his band carefully and lowered his mask so that he could breathe freely.

"I'm here," Ino returned with the towels, but she stopped in shock and surprise next to Karin.

"Guys, please. We must hurry," Sakura requested assistance, noticing both of her teammates were mesmerized. Probably their first time seeing Kakashi without anything covering his face. She didn't blame them at all, with that ashen nuance of the skin and that tranquil expression, Kakashi had acquired a rather angelic appearance. "Karin."

The latter turned around abruptly and froze, looking at the scalpel Sakura handed her.

"You do it. I'll prepare the suture," Karin quickly surrounded her with an emotionless expression.

Sakura exhaled slowly, trying to calm herself down before getting on with the surgery. It was a good thing she trained herself well enough and her hands didn't shake much. The bad thing was the blood loss... surely more than forty percent, with the shock happening somewhere after the thirtieth. Her knowledge allowed her to calculate his approximate time of living. Gauzing him helped get him back to the base still conscious. But now, the chances dropped rapidly. It was a matter of minutes but she chose to keep that information only for herself.

"Didn't think we have one," Sakura joked in a low voice, concentrating. "Alright, I'm lacerating a bit."

Her left hand slightly pressed the skin as her right slid down, creating a small incision.

"Ino," she called, but her friend already handed her the grasper.

Having no X-ray vision and pulling out a bullet only with a sixth sense was madness beyond her wildest dreams. But she remembered all those people that counted on her. With every millimeter deeper into the skin, she remembered what Kakashi meant to all those people. He was as good as a father to them. Letting them down was something she'd never want to do. They put their faith in her. He put his faith in her. His own conviction brought her there and now he laid in her hands. She had always thought there was no such thing as a coincidence.

Her movements were so slow and careful that from aside it looked like she didn't move at all. It was the perfect pace to go with, the fear that she'd cause more internal bleedings or unnecessary lacerations haunted her.

She didn't dare breathe, distant words of countless invocations echoing in her mind. This life was so needed... that she found herself silently pleading for it to be spared. And amidst her sincere plea, the grasper in her hand reached something hard. Sakura wasn't quick to rejoice, but in the second her movement stopped Ino muttered some kind of praise on her friend's behalf.

It was the bullet, Sakura was certain, but she took her time while pulling it out. It pained her greatly that she could be already running late, though she paid no mind to these morbid thoughts. In the second she pulled out the bullet, Ino pressed the wound so that it doesn't bleed while Sakura examined the metal piece aside. Thankfully, it was whole and no other parts were left in the wound. Sakura hurried to leave the cartridge aside then and took the disinfected medical suture from Karin's hands. Karin had already prepared the thread and Sakura wasted no time, starting to stitch up the wound with multiple supple motions.

"Karin, please tell me you know which blood type he is," still not finished, Sakura looked up at her, almost begging.

"I do. O-positive." Karin understood her hint right away and went out of the room for a minute.

Sakura cut the thread at last and cleaned the blood off the skin around the stitch. "Is he still breathing, Ino?" she asked, not daring to look aside.

"He is. Faintly, but he is," Ino heaved a sigh. "You are a natural talent, forehead."

The wave of relief came with the one of exhaustion, enveloping her mind like a blanket. Trying hard to ignore it, Sakura kept on disinfecting the instruments all over again and leaving Ino with cleaning the rest up. Karin showed up soon with a blood bag she took care was attached to Kakashi's wrist right away.

Ino blew her cheeks, placing hands on her hips. "We are a hell of a team. Glad to know you two." Neither of the two women replied, too lost in thought. A few more absent minutes passed before Ino went to take out the gloves and all of the disposables, leaving Sakura and Karin on their own.

As much as Sakura thought it'd be inconvenient to try and start a conversation with the redhead, the subject emerged immediately when she saw a deep cut on Karin's own palm. It wasn't bad, but it had to be treated. Sakura hurried to pour a bit of disinfectant on a small piece of cloth she found left next to the instruments and went to Karin who was going through her kit at the moment.

"Karin," Sakura spoke quietly, asking for her hand. Karin frowned at her for quite some time, but then huffed, giving up. She winced when the cloth touched her sore skin but quickly relaxed afterward, focusing on the rosette's measured movements. "Do you have some bandage in there?" Sakura asked, looking at her comrade's backpack.

"Uh, yeah," Karin obliged, handing her what she needed. The silence that followed was brief because Karin broke it abruptly.

"Don't worry. Out of all people, " Karin raised her intonation, "he won't have me."

Sakura looked up at her, pausing for a second and eyes wide. "Why-why do you think that?"

"Because he needs a family." Karin's voice was stern, but faltered at the end, her carmine gaze falling down. Sakura tilted her head, searching for her eyes. She found them, giving an inquiring look. "I can't have children."

Sakura almost gasped, her perplexed expression soon changing into one of compassion. Karin's stunning features gifted her with a warm, heartbroken smile and a shrug. Before Sakura could say something, Ino returned, beaming with joy.

"Girls, let's go tell everyone Kakashi's gonna be fine!" Sakura secured the bandage on Karin's palm and exhaled slowly. "You know what, Ino, you go tell them yourself."

"Uh, no. You two get your asses moving," Ino pushed both women from the back and Sakura exchanged glances with Karin.

"Well, if she insists. We have to move Kakashi to his bed anyway. See if we can find any volunteers." Sakura took Karin's hand, which made Karin flinch with surprise, and then squeezed it reassuringly. "Let's go."

Everyone stood up as the three of them entered the meeting room a few doors next to the improvised surgery room. Sakura took a moment to examine those faces, one by one. Such fear and pain she had never seen in her life. They were on the brink of breaking down. All of them. Her eyes did search for a certain pair, though. He was in the far back and was the only one that didn't care to look her way.

Naruto stepped up in front of everyone, nearing Sakura. It was somewhat heroic of him to do that. As if by standing up front he was going to take the blow first. Take the most painful weight upon himself.

"He is saved," Sakura announced with a bitter smile that only widened when Naruto hugged her. Then he pulled Karin and Ino, too.

Although almost out of strength, Sakura managed to chuckle faintly and spread her hand to Tenten who stood closest to her, hands folded and tears in her otherwise sullen eyes. She moved reluctantly and buried her head in the group, embracing everyone. Sakura waited out every single one of the attendants to join in that ridiculously sentimental combined hug while her eyes filled with tears. The gratitude touched her heart deeply and she was certain, that hug was something she'd never forget for the rest of her life. It would've been just perfect, though... if Sasuke hadn't left right after he heard the news.

Sakura pushed the door with her elbow, careful not to drop the small tray in her hands. It took her a minute to make the decision of bringing Sasuke some of the team's dinner and around twenty to gather the courage. Ten more she stood in front of the soldier's hut, with the full awareness that he was in there. He didn't show for lunch or for dinner. No one talked with or about him the whole day and Sakura agreed that words wouldn't help in the least. Most of her comrades thought he's a lost cause and didn't bother persuading him to anything, especially after he went berserk like that a few hours ago.

Naruto was cross and said he doesn't want to go talk with him since he doesn't listen to anyone but himself. A lot of them thought he's completely lost his mind and needed to go somewhere to be treated. So Sakura figured Sasuke wasn't going to get any attention in the next days, which, on one side wasn't that bad. But she couldn't leave it alone like that, she just couldn't. His irascible behavior and callosity indicated how far he had gone and how much farther he was ready to go.

Still... surely she was insane herself, for believing there was hope for everyone.

After she closed the door with a quiet click, she walked slowly to the far end where she found Sasuke sitting on his bed in deep thought. Cautious, she placed the tray on the ground and sat on the bed, in front of him. She knew that no one was going to blame her for sitting at such a distance. Itachi's knife was in his hands, examined most thoroughly. Moving slow and talking quietly was the way to go. Almost like taming a wild beast.

"You must eat something, you haven't eaten all day."

"I'm not hungry."

He put the knife away, shooting a glare at her. She knew her presence was unwanted, but if he thought she'd leave him with his thoughts after what happened in the morning, he was dead wrong. Glimpsing at his pale skin and tired eyes, she realized he's never looked as bad. Not even in the hospital when she saw him for the first time.

"I need to know the truth," he looked at the knife like it was going to give him answers. "Itachi never said anything."

Sakura caught him caressing his forehead with an absent gesture. Her suspicions were confirmed, he did have a headache after all. She pulled out the small prescription bottle from her pocket and took one pill from there. After she mechanically handed him the glass of water, she went closer and opened his palm, putting the pill there. Sasuke didn't oppose, though the look in his eyes suggested he was far from happy with her forceful medical treatments. Sakura raised her eyes to him not until she realized he awaited some kind of an explanation.

"Aspirin." She looked down again, unable to hold his intense gaze for long. "Thought you might want it. You're not supposed to take it without eating anything but... your choice."

He did take the pill, though no verbal or non-verbal gratitude followed. Not that she expected anything. Perhaps verbalizing no insults aimed at her so far was his way of showing benevolence. That dreadful chasm of silence set itself between them once more and it was becoming rather awkward. Everyone acquainted with Sasuke knew that relying on him to lead a conversation was like waiting for rainfall in a desert.

"I think he said all that to hurt you. Because... he couldn't hurt you physically," Sakura tentatively rested her hand on his but instead of recoiling, he pulled it until she found herself inches away, sitting in his lap. It was downright funny how she tensed every time he touched her because her body prepared to meet brute force and she was glad it did — the line between pain and pleasure with that one was really thin. He kind of mixed both.

Slightly tilting his head, he took a second to observe her, this time the saturated black of his irises giving out a tinge of curiosity. There was a question in his eyes and she was almost certain why. It was either the quick red that flushed her face or the fact that her rosy locks now ended on the line of her chin. She took care they weren't longer than that herself, right after she found herself alone with her thoughts. Dodging bullets and operating in field conditions... she considered it highly inappropriate to demonstrate femininity. If she was to walk side by side with those soldiers, she had to give up on anything that wasn't of help and could potentially be in her way. No regrets clouded her mind until she saw the... disappointed look in his eyes?

Her own irises slowly widened in surprise. Without receiving any permission, his lips brushed against hers. Her skin prickled at the touch, never as slow. Could it be that the fatigue melted some of his aggression away? Or he teased her? Rather mock her, as she began to think about it. He enjoyed having her holding her breath like that, in expectation of something to happen. Their tongues barely entwined when she felt that sour, pleasantly acrid taste of the aspirin in his mouth.

Sasuke slowly pulled her closer, attempting to take off her t-shirt, but as his warm hand slipped up her back and reached the clutch of her bra, she fought the strong impulse to adhere her body to his and give him what he sought at the very moment. She managed to gather what was left of her willpower and reluctantly parted her lips from his, her hands gently pressing both of them apart.

"Sasuke, I... I can't," Sakura said abruptly, feeling the heat on her face intensifying with every second under his dark and steady gaze.

"You can't."

A spasm rented her heart at his expression. The shadow that crossed his face was momentary but pierced through her and the pain was unbearable. She knew exactly what he thought about, even though he didn't say it. Her words were too ambiguous. "I want you!" Sakura hurried to clear up, her voice lowered with every word. "I just can't... right now. I mean..." She looked down, searching for the right words. It was the last thing she imagined she'd talk about with him. Women's body problems.

"I understand."

Sakura looked up, wearing her most apologetic expression. "I'm sorry. I-I should've warned—"

"It's fine," he cut her off, exasperated. "Never mind."

Sakura opened her mouth but was at a loss for words. It was always so hard to find words whenever he was near. Why not act like he does, then? It was significantly easier anyway. She furrowed for a few seconds before heaving up to kiss his forehead tenderly, her fingertips resting on his shoulders. When she found his eyes again the ice was broken and slowly starting to melt down, replaced by what seemed to be a fragment of the so repellent softness he avoided at all times.

"I chose you," Sakura whispered, a warm smile blossoming on her lips. "Long ago." Didn't feel nice to hand him her heart on a platter, but she couldn't afford him thinking she doesn't want him. For all she knew, he'd fall back in that suicidal depression he was apparently susceptible to. Whatever happened from now on, at least she took that load off her heart.

"Stupid."

It was the fact that he ignored her gaze that gave her hope.

"I just thought I'd let you know."

"I'm not what you imagine I am. You're only wasting your time," he fumed, shifting away.

Sasuke carelessly detached from her, laying back on the pillow.

"It's not fair, you know," Sakura slowly neared with another whisper, laying her head down next to him. "You use my body."

Furrowing, he backed away, feeling her peering eyes digging a hole in him and anticipating a reply of some kind. "Yeah, so what?"

Sakura's mouth dropped open. She didn't know what to say, too astonished to reply. He didn't care at all. His words stung and embittered her because he knew she wouldn't fight back, whatever he said. His very voice was soaked with confidence that always bordered on arrogance.

"Why?" she breathed out. It was painful for her to speak.

He hated that question, for sure. It got him unprepared all over again and he turned to the other side, leaving her with silent tears streaming down her face. Whatever she did, it wasn't enough. She turned out the weaker, in the end. If he wouldn't let anyone in then why did he outraged at people? And why, for heaven's sake, did she still want to give him everything she had? Why did she want to be a part of his world of destruction, where everything was broken, deformed, and withered?

It was the emotion in her, most likely. The emotion she never got rid of. It destroyed her life, yet she still clung to it. To that feeling. The thrill of the senses that filled her up and... made her happy. There was no escape from it for it was her essence. But she still had to fight for her dignity. She was better than weeping, she was better than her previous selves, the ones that ruined every attempt of hers to lead a life of meaning and a life of growth. That's exactly why he was tempted to step on her. If she still hasn't learned to control her emotion, she was weak.

"Look at me in the eyes and answer me," she said, in a stern voice.

The change in her tone intrigued him enough to face her. He studied her features for a while before speaking. "You are at peace with yourself."

Sakura closed her eyes for a second, then exhaled slowly. Envy. That's what it was all about. He envied her and tried to rob her of everything she had built within herself. He thought he'd desecrate her temple with his destructive touch and she fell in love with it instead. Now that was funny. A sigh escaped her dry lips as she opened her eyes again, finding him still keeping a sharp eye on her. "I understand now," she squinted. "Is Karin at peace with herself, too?"

He grimaced at her as if the name caused him nausea. "I don't even like her."

"Are you sure?" Sakura asked, calmly. "She's such a nice person."

"You're starting to get annoying," Sasuke rested back on the pillow, looking up.

"Your criteria are unreliable since you're annoyed by everything," Sakura held back a smile as he turned to look at her yet again.

There was some heavy bitterness in his gaze, mustering with every silent second. "If you're such a saint then you can tell me why your god hates me so much," Sasuke snapped at her, the harsh tone making her jump a little.

"I'm not a saint. I'm just jealous," Sakura blushed, unsure where she got all that courage to speak her mind today. The safety of being close and having the inviolability that he wouldn't lay claims on her in her current state gave her the privilege of speaking to him like a normal person. She had to remember the date. A conversation with Sasuke Uchiha which lasted more than two minutes. A veritable holiday.

He puffed, looking up again. Sakura just couldn't keep her eyes off him, slightly biting at her lip. He didn't have to even try. With the tear-paths still unwiped from her face, she didn't dare blink, couldn't afford to. If she did, she was going to miss out a second of him. His brooding charm was captivating for her and his being dreadfully discontented with everything that happened to him all the time added a nice color to it all. Although he tried his best to rouse everyone's hatred, Sakura still thought he did it to punish himself.

Too drained to think about it further, she focused on something more pleasant. She considered him most handsome. The dark circles around his eyes were discernable upon the unhealthy wan of his skin. And he really had to wear black all the time, as his noble features didn't fascinate her enough.

She shifted closer, hugging his arm with the slowest movement.

"You know," she spoke quietly. "They say he punishes those whom he loves the most."

"No, that definitely looks like a grudge against me," Sasuke took a sharp breath. "That or I'm paying for the sins of someone else."

"Not likely."

For the first time, the silence between them didn't feel uncomfortable, even though it continued for more than a minute. Sakura didn't bother him with questions, convinced that if he wanted to talk he would do it. And if he didn't want to talk, they'd spend those minutes in silence which wasn't bad at all. She'd rather have the minutes in silence if that meant he'd let her near.

"I've heard stories..." Sasuke didn't finish, sinking in thought.

"Stories?" Sakura's curiosity was sparkled. Her voice might've come out more excited than she wanted it to because he turned to look at her. Their foreheads almost touched and Sakura backed away a tad, chuckling. "Sorry."

"No one believes in such things anyway," he sighed, tearing his eyes from her.

"What things?"

"My kin..." The characteristic frown adorned his features again. "It's been said that it is a carrier of a curse."

"You think you're cursed?" Sakura pondered.

"Yes."

"I believe you if it would make you feel better."

"Well, it doesn't," Sasuke retorted, deciding to wrench from her but she insisted on the touch, interlocking their hands in order to keep him from setting them apart. He was forced to back away, heaving up to a sitting position.

"Stop it," Sakura pleaded quietly. Why did he always act like she was leprous whenever she offered tenderness? "I am not leaving you."

"I don't want you here," the scanning, disgusted look he gave her hurt more than anything he said. "I haven't asked for any help."

Sakura swallowed down, trying to fight her own anger. The self-loathing emerged in her the second she felt her eyes watering. Reaching the same cul-de-sac every time. "I may be repulsive but I know when someone pretends to be alright," she said, her pained expression didn't seem to move anything in him.

Without his consent, she proceeded to hug him, ignoring everything. If not else, she needed to do that. Badly. To feel if he was still warm and to make sure there was still an unfailing heartbeat in his chest. That's all she cared about at the moment. She wasn't even mad at him. She didn't have the strength to be.

The silence prolonged as she fought with her tears and the sobs in her chest that she choked down. He refused to return the gesture for quite some time. Both of those things were tightly connected, though, and it wasn't that much of a surprise that at the moment he finally decided to reconcile, hugging her back, she felt the warmth stream down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and released her breath. He deserved it, anyway, for running away earlier.

"I'm tired," he spoke in her ear in a half-tone, half-whisper as he guided both of them slowly back on the pillow. His voice was so absent that Sakura was certain that in those two words he gathered all of his battles, both physical and mental.

"I know," Sakura ensconced in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes, still hugging him with her other hand. "I know."

The warmth was so wonderful and her exhaustion from this day so grand that she needed not more than a few minutes to fall asleep.

"Karin said she wasn't feeling that well and went back to her tent."

"Right. Was wondering where she went off to," Ino thanked Lee for answering and walked in, followed by her teammates.

"Damn, you've got some nerves, Kiba," Tenten scoffed. "I was sweating like hell while you did your thing with the filaments back there."

"I've seen him defuse bombs for years and it gets me every time," Shikamaru murmured. "Cool to have you on the team. We'd kinda be, uh..." he scratched his neck inconveniently. "Long dead without you."

"You guys need to calm down, alright? No big deal," Kiba waved with a hand before prostrating on his bed.

"No big deal!" Ino's jaw dropped, turning to Sai. "Did you hear what he said?!"

Sai held his dull gaze on Kiba for a moment before turning to Ino. "Do you like him more than me now?" he spoke evenly, but Ino just burst into laughter.

"Of course not, silly," Ino grabbed his hand, irritated. Sai's jealously was terrific to watch. He just pronounced it the exact same way he asked for someone to pass him the salt.

"Guys, keep it down," Naruto hissed and everyone turned to him.

"What?" Temari raised a brow. "Oh, I saw those two just now."

Naruto walked the aisle between the beds at a fast pace, nailing at the end. He turned to look at his team with beaming eyes and the widest smile.

"Are they...?" Ino mouthed at Naruto and gave her a thumbs up.

He looked at Sasuke and Sakura for a while, the content smile never leaving his face. With a scoff, he pulled the blanket over them, careful not to wake them up, and went back to his team.

"You guys wanna play cards?" Shikamaru smirked, taking out a pack from the sack next to his bed.

"You mean poker?" Temari snapped, giving him a pointed look. "So that you can rob us all?"

"It's not robbing if you choose to play against me," Shikamaru shuffled the cards in his hands. "You can always refuse."

"Like hell," she puffed, glancing at Tenten. "Look at his smug face. He's so sure of his victory."

"Temari, whatever you play with him, you can't win," Tenten teased. "He doesn't play, he calculates."

"Just watch," Temari pulled up her sleeves and sat on the bed against Shikamaru who used the time of absence from the conversation to light up a cigarette and take a drag.

Everyone knew Shikamaru was a smoker of standing and grew used to his rather unpleasant for the non-smokers around him bad habit, but Temari just couldn't stand him. Whenever he lit up a cigarette in her presence, she acquired the look of a ruthless valkyrie, ready to deliver justice in the stead of all her conformists of teammates that preferred to not speak their mind about it even if the smoke really bothered them sometimes. Naturally, her current thunderous expression was enough for him to put down the cigar and douse it.

"Jeez," Ino held back a laugh, still glancing back at the sleeping duo at the far end. "I'm almost sure she drugged him with something strong. After this morning, I didn't dare get ten feet near him. So did everyone else."

"Nah..." Naruto sighed. "She does that with him. No drugs needed."

A/N: Mmmhm... I realized I haven't shown a drop of romance so far so I decided it was about time I start adding some. Ok, also, I don't want Karin a bitch. I love everyone, I admit it. (Except Danzo lol) Also, remember what I said about this being 100k words. Not really. I'll totally get over 100k. What else... oh, yes. Even though Kishimoto never mentioned it, I bet Sasuke loved Sakura's hair. I can't explain myself long-haired post-war Sakura with anything else. See you next time!