-Chapter 45-
-Quinn pov-
We have only seen Rachel around school for a week now. Fran has been upset with me about what happened. I blame myself and I know she blames me too for it all. I have to find a way to fix this.
I have been going nuts all week. I have wanted to hold Rachel and kiss her everyday. I have wanted everything to be ok again. But nothing will ever be ok again.
I have been on the outside looking in. My love is gone from me and never coming back. My heart has a hole and Fran can only fill so much. It hurts so much.
I can see her hurting but she refuses to let us help. Like right now I am watching her through the club window. She has her bag and something shiny..wait a minute. I quickly push open the door and rush to her.
"RACHEL!" She drops the razor and looks at me with wide eyes "What are you doing?! A-are you cutting? Oh god was this because of me? I love you alright! I do not want you to change! I never want to be without you again!"
"It's not that Quinn!" Tears are falling down her face "You did not even notice my issues! My depression coming back, my struggles, and you did not even notice my pulling away!"
"How could I when you want us to not fight or say anything!" She looks at me confused "Fran was scared to tell you! She was scared this would happen! That you would snap and everything would go to shit!"
"Cause I am a spaz right? A freak?" I shake my head and she scoffs "If you two want away from me then just go! Leave me!"
"WE FUCKING LOVE YOU SO MUCH WE SOLD OUR CHILDHOOD TOYS FOR A MICROPHONE!" Silence falls over the room as we stare into each others eyes "You said you wanted a better one so we got one for you...We wanted it to be better for you to record your stuff with"
I can see the life flood back into her eyes "You two sold your memories for me?" I nod and she slowly starts shaking "I-I need someone to hold me"
"Rach!" I run over and catch her as we sink to the ground "I got you ok? I will always have you and so will Fran"
"I am so sorry" She sobs into my shoulder as I rock her "I am so sorry!"
"No reason ok?" I look up and see Fran in the doorway with tears "We never need a sorry"
-Quinn singing-
Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God He hears you
And I pray to God He hears you, and
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
"We have you baby" Fran walks over and joins us in the embrace "We may not have the same dream but that is ok! We will be the perfect Throple!"
"I just feel like I am unlovable" Rachel sniffles in-between us "I hate this feeling so much"
"We know" Fran lays us onto the ground "I messaged the parents and club has been postponed for the day...how about we relax before home"
We both nod and Fran pulls us closer. It feels nice to have them both here with me. This week has been a long and hard one. So any love time is good time.
-Fran singing-
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own
We don't need
Anything
Or anyone
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel
Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads
I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life
All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see
I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
"No matter what you two have to stay ok?" Rachel sniffles and snuggles into the both of us "I can not live without either of you"
"It was a pain to live without you with us" Fran gives Rachel a chaste kiss "You will not escape so easily again next time"
"Next time we are going to talk it all out too" Fran nods and I give Rach a chaste kiss "But you also need help ok Rach? We have to report this to your therapist"
"I will" I raise a eyebrow and she sighs "You can come with me to my next appointment"
"We both are coming" We sit up and pull Rach up with us "Now I think it is time to get up from this floor and go home"
"For food and cuddles?" We both share a look and look at her "And to book my appointment"
We smile and I pick up the razor. I slide it in my pocket and we head out to the car. I am glad we are back together but not so happy about what transpired. I will be more vigilant now about things.
I will not lose Rachel to anything but age. Even then she is not dying first. It will be Fran and then me. She is too good for this world to pass on.
Enough sad thoughts though! This is a positive time now! I need to think about the good things. Like having my love back with me.
Tonight is going to be a good nights sleep.