She Took A Pause
The Bar
"Dude I don't even want to figging talk about it" Sam said slamming down on the stool by the others in the pub
"You and me both Dude I came here to forget" Puck said
"Lets forget" Artie said all three looking grim as Artie held his hand up for service "Regulars please and Just keep them coming" he asked the waitress as she came to the table
"Just the three of you or will the others be coming in later?" she asked
"Hopefully just the three of us" Sam said looking around
"What do you reckon is wrong with them?" Artie asked
"Well I must admit initially I thought it was medical but they can't all have the same thing, unless, well no they can't" Puck said
"Unless what?" Sam asked more pissed off than anything
"Well I was going to say unless Sam gave it to them but he's never been with T so I guess I got that thought process wrong" Puck finished
"I've never been with Q either Dude not like that" Sam said
"So what do yo reckon it is then" Artie asked
"All I know is our home is unbearable, it's like she was just waiting for the children to leave home so she could turn into, I don't even know what to call her" Sam said taking a swig of his drink "Is she still a fucking woman even, she won't let me near her" he said holding his head with his hands
"The loves gone out of our home" Puck said "Next she'll be asking for a divorce I can feel it"
"Surely not" Artie said "But you know once they start talking they'll all get the same idea"
"I really don't want to be here I feel like shit leaving to have a drink when my life's in turmoil" Sam said
"Q told me to move into the spare room last night" Puck announced
"What did you do?" Sam asked
"I moved into the spare room for the night"
"Damn just like that?" Artie asked "We'll all be in the fucking spare rooms tonight" he said banging his wheelchair arm
"Dude, that was too easy for you to say, you're not on the other end of a Q tantrum" Puck informed him
"I won't argue either I'll just do anything for peace, when Mercy starts its like fire and brimstone and definite hell going on and me jumping on that just makes her go up a notch more" Sam informed the guys "I couldn't tell you the last time I heard her say please or thank you"
"Is that a word in any fucking woman's vocabulary?" Puck asked looking around "Quinn usually apologises with her fanny" he laughed
"Mercy don't usually have a problem using her words, she's generally really respectful but this past like four months I've noticed things going down hill. At first I thought it was because Kyle had gone off to India with his wife but she still speaks to him every day and she's jolly and then she'll get off the phone to him turns to me and say something like; what the fuck are you looking at now, nothing in between" he said shaking his head "Like I planned for him to go there behind her back or something"
"Singing tonight Guys" Ben the DJ shouted over the mic as Puck, Sam and Artie looked at each other
"Seriously nothing to sing about" Sam said shaking his head
"Yeah we'll do one in a bit" Puck shouted back
"Pass the book" Artie shouted across to the bar
"Seriously" Sam said looking at them "Mercy walks in here sees me singing, and you can bet all I'm gonna hear is how I don't give a shit about how she's feeling, and then a 6 hour rant about why the hell we're actually together followed by crying, then I'm gonna be angry and no talking for the night"
"Why do you always have to over think these things Evans?" Puck asked "She's gonna be mad whatever you do so, you might as well enjoy some of it" he smiled as Artie shoved Sam encouraging him to smile
"Okay, I'll do it but if she walks in you're on your own" he finally agreed "What you gonna sing?" he asked
"You mean we, what we gonna sing" Artie laughed "Dude are you in a marriage or the military?"
"A marriage Dude in which I've learned to listen and react to my wife for a happy life, I'm just having difficulty reading her right now" he smiled "Not knowing what she wants pisses me off big time"
"I hear you" Artie replied
"Okay" Puck said looking up "I've found one" he said jumping up and the guys followed him
"What we singing?" Sam asked
"You look like I need a Drink' by Justin Moore " Puck replied almost throwing the book a the DJ
"Dude are we sure on this, I mean, if any of them walk in it's like we're taking the piss" Sam said looking around
"Chill Dude and sing the song" Puck laughed as he started singing
Puck
I could tell by the way you sounded when you called, That I wasn't going to like what you had to say
I could read between the lines there was something different this time
Sam
You're coming over tonight 'cause you couldn't wait, Now you're in the drive, I'm a wreck inside as you walk through the door
Chorus (All)
You look like I need a drink right now, You look like you're gonna try to let me down nice and easy
I think I know why you won't sit down, You're just dancing around what you came here to do but you're scared to
And all I can think, the way you're looking at me, you look like I need a drink
Artie
Been little over a year since you were standing right here, And I was nervous for a whole 'nother reason
Now it's a little bit hard being caught this off guard, Watching you trying to not hurt my feelings.
Chorus (All)
You look like I need a drink, I don't know how this ends or where this goes, But the only thing I know is
Chorus (All)
You look like I need a drink, yeah a nice stiff drink
"Wow you guys really needed a blow out tonight yeah" the DJ commented when Puck threw the guitar back on the stand, none of them replied they just walked off stage
"Another round over here" Sam shouted to the barmaid as they went back to their seats
"Quinn's complaining about her weight apparently she's put some on or something, you'd have to be really studying her to see it. She's in her 50s now you'd expect all that drama would be over for women at that age, I mean who does she need to be super skinny size for?" Puck asked Sam and Artie neither of them had the answer
"You're lucky at least you have a complaint to deal with Mercy's said nothing, I remember years ago my Dad complaining about my Mom and her mood swings or something but, she seemed fine to me. Anyway neither of them are around any more for me to even pretend to ask the question I'm just pissed that I didn't think to ask then" Sam said
"Tina's favourite place is the bathroom, alone, she don't say nothing just goes red and runs" Artie added
"Look I'm out of here, I got so much shit going on at home I should be ashamed being out here. I just needed to get away for a second before I laid hands on my Lady" Sam announced "I'm back lovin her so my mission is complete thanks guys" he said taking the last sip of his drink before grabbing his coat and heading out "Puck" he shouted as he got to the door to find a steaming Quinn entering "Hi Quinn" he said kissing her cheek
"Sam" she said not actually cutting her eyes at him but they weren't her usual welcoming ones
"Bye Quinn" he smiled taking no notice, he'd got his own battle at home without sitting listening to theirs
Home
Sam got in the car and turned his radio on for the short journey back, finally stopping the car outside the house he sat listening to the end of 'Seasons Change' by Chris Brown thinking how this so fit his life right now, he looked across to see almost every light in the house on, he took a breath before opening his car door and making his way towards the front door "how many damn rooms can she occupy at once" he asked himself as he opened the door to find not only the lights on but he ceiling fans and the air conditioning "what the fuck" he said under his breath treading with caution "Mercy" he shouted through the house
"Don't touch a thing I just got it right" she shouted back from the study
"Hi" he said poking his head round the door
"Hi" she turned to say with a smile "I've just about got the house to the right temperature so could you not open or close any doors" she requested
"Okay can I get you anything?" he asked making his way back out the tiny bit of the doorway he'd stepped into
"No but how's everyone?" she asked
"Puck and Artie are fine" he said walking away "Oh and I saw Quinn too she's fine" he said as he carried on walking way
"Sam" she shouted as he spun round to go see what was up now
"Yep" he said leaning back on the door frame
"You said Quinn, wasn't she with Puck?" she asked
"No I saw her as I was leaving"
"Leaving where" Mercy said pissed off in her voice as Sam rolled his eyes for where this really couldn't be going
"I was with the guys and I left, as I opened the door Quinn was standing there, I let her in said hello and left" he said still resting on the door
"So what you getting all huffy about I only asked a question?"
"I'm not getting huffy" Sam said still leaning in the doorway
"You did, I asked about your special Quinn and you huffed"
"Mercy I don't have a special Quinn" he said rolling his eyes
"I hate the way you say her damn name did I ever tell you that?"
"No"
"Well I do it's always sounded like there's three of us in this relationship when you say her fucking name, go on say it again" she said getting up and moving towards him "I dare you to say it again and bring that bitch into our home"
"What is wrong with you Mercy?" Sam asked wanting to walk away but knew his walking away would only solidify the stupidity she already had in her head "She's your friend, we've all been friends all our adult lives" he said looking at her "And I know you know I love you so really I don't even know where this has come from"
"Maybe I've just realised I don't love you" she spat
"Mercy will you please come with me to the doctors so we can see what this thing is?" he asked
"There's nothing wrong with me, you should go, I don't know how you didn't get into acting school Sam Evans, You've been really good at it all these years"
"This shit is doing my fucking head in" Sam shouted "Mercy will you please come to the doctors with me something is wrong"
"What with you" she said looking at him seriously "I'm glad you've realised" she smiled "So when did you say you started sleeping with Quinn again?" she asked
"I didn't, I'm not, I won't because I love my wife"
"You'd want me to believe you love this" she said rolling her hand up her body in disgust
"Babe, don't do that" Sam begged "Please"
"Don't do what?" she shouted at him
'Why the fuck did I even come into the room' Sam shouted at himself in his mind as he stood listening to Mercy get soprano on his ass, he knew he was going against the grain here but he had to get up for work in the morning and this shit could go on for hours so he went ahead "Mercy I'm drowning in your shit here, I don't know where to turn babe you keep pushing me away, why?" he stood asking a now very quiet Mercy stunned into silence by his reaction to her
"If I had the answer to that I'd know what the hell was wrong with you, wouldn't I?" she asked
"With me" Sam said before holding his hands up as his surrender and backing away from her "Mercy I love you, I know somewhere in there you know that's true but, who you are right now is breaking my heart, I'm standing begging you to sort this out and, you have the damn cheek to turn this back on me" he said standing there for a minute waiting for her to respond but she didn't "You know what I'm done, when you finally sort your shit out get back to me" he said turning and walking away
"Don't you dare walk away from me Sam Evans" she stood there shouting at him over and over again
"I'm not your fucking child Mercy, I'm your husband, and until you start treating me as such fuck it, now I'm in an everlasting bad fucking mood" he said walking away
Mercy was so upset with everything she just stood crying, 'she was doing a lot of that lately, she was like a spoilt child, if she didn't get her way she'd cry, if she got her way she'd cry watching cat rescue she'd cry and she really didn't know what was wrong. She might have been cool with the crying but then last month the toilet breaks started becoming more frequent and there was an actual incident where she'd wet herself unable to get to the rest room quick enough and god was that embarrassing. She was either sweating like crazy or as cold as ice, with nothing in between and Sam was no help, he'd stand there asking if everything was alright and all she could say, which she felt like screaming was NO it fucking isn't. She wasn't as bad at Tina she'd had a period for over a month now and she was definitely as ratty as she'd ever been, Mercy giggled as she remembered the conversation with Tina blaming everything on Artie just because she was too embarrassed to say I'm still bleeding "What sort of shit is that to be hiding from your husband" she said smiling before going back into her thoughts; and then there was more than vain Quinn all she seemed to be worried about was gaining extra pounds and not looking nice for men, the married woman concerned about how men see her "Basically Sam" she smirked, she needs to be welcomed to my fucking world, gosh is that hunger' she thought holding her stomach as she made her way to the kitchen "Where's Sam?" she asked herself smiling when she remembered he'd gone to the bar with the others "Why haven't you gone?" she asked herself diverting and making her way to the coat stand to grab her coat and go meet Sam at the bar
"Oh he walked" she said as she opened the door to see his car on the drive, doubling back for the car keys and making her way to the bar
The Bar
"Hi Guys, Quinn" Mercy said as she walked in less than 30 minutes after Sam had left
"Mercy hi" Quinn jumped up to say as the guys looked at each other saying hi
"Where's Sam?" Artie asked
"Where is Sam?" Mercy asked
"He went home didn't he?" Artie offered asking clarification from Puck
"Yeah he went home" Puck echoed
"Stop shitting I just came from home he wasn't there" she replied
"No seriously Mercy Sam left about 30 minutes ago to go home I came in just as he left" Quinn added
"So what you all covering for him for, I thought you were my friends" she said starting to get angry
"Shit Diva blow out in the bar" Artie said looking around "Mercy T's wanted to talk to you all day" he said taking his phone out and calling Tina telling her Mercy wanted her and handing the phone over "Call Sam" he whispered to Puck
"Dude" Puck said when Sam answered the phone "Where's your wife?"
"Downstairs performing probably" Sam laughed nervously
"I'm in the bar listen to this" Puck said holding the phone near Mercy who was having a rather heated conversation with Tina about him sleeping around and them hiding things from her, when Puck spoke into the phone again it was dead and less than 10 minutes later Sam was standing in the bar
"Babe what are you doing?" Sam asked
"I came to see our friends and unlucky for you, you were off seeing your own friend" she said attempting to slap him across the face but, he grabbed her hand looked at her for the longest while before letting her go and walking away "Sam" she shouted after him as the few people in the bar watched "Sam I'm sorry" she said making him turn to look at her, his eyes misty with tears for where their relationship had gone "Babe I am so sorry" she said running up to him, he didn't hesitate to hold her she'd done two big things just then. He was walking away but he had no idea where he'd walk to, all he knew was her and their life together all he wanted was her nothing else in the world. Maybe he'd resided himself to the fact that this was Mercy now and somehow he'd have to live with what she'd become 'In sickness and in Health' and all that but this right now was enough for him to stay she'd wrapped him in her arms cried on his chest and for him that was a big breakthrough.
"I'm here babe" was all he could find to say
"Don't leave me" she cried into his chest,
As they stood holding each other Tina walked in "God Mercy what the hell is going on?" she asked "It sounding like you were getting killed"
"She's fine" Sam said rubbing her arms as she cleaned her face up from crying "But now we're all here can we have 10 minutes of truth time" he asked as Mercy looked at Tina and they both looked at Quinn
"I was just saying to Puck I needed to talk, I'm at my wits end with my shit, I need to off load" Quinn announced as they gathered more chairs around the table of the almost empty bar
"I'll go first" Tina said "it's personal but its not if you know what I mean"
"No" Artie said as Mercy touched his leg indicating he needed to let her get her truth out "Sorry T" he said looking sheepish
"Yeah well, I've had the longest female cycle in history, I'm feeling drained, tired and I'm so embarrassed at not being able to even do simple shopping or be intimate with Artie I'm kicking out. I know I'm doing it and I don't want to be a bitch, I don't know why but everything you say Art sounds like a dig and well I just seriously snap at what I think I hear in the undertones"
"So what are you going to do about it? Artie asked
"I've got some ideas of what it is so a GP visit I guess and then medication if I can or surgery
"Surgery!" Artie shouted
"Yeah, I guess that's another reason I really didn't want to deal with this"
Sam grabbed hold of Mercy's hand at that point and looked in her eyes "Babe I'm here" he said smiling at her
"So I guess I could go next?" Quinn asked Mercy
"Yeah fine"Mercy said her grip tightening on Sam's hand as her wild thoughts about Quinn played havoc with her, stop it Mercy stop it' she told herself looking down at what Sam was looking at to see she was squeezing his hand tightly "Sorry" she said as Sam frowned at her actions
"Yeah well mines simple, I'm putting weight on my GP said it's kind of normal for my age but when you've fought so hard to be a certain way and then nature tells you, you can't have that any more it's a bitch and I guess I'm mad at the world for taking it away from me" she smiled looking around the room "I guess Puck gets it because I feel I need to find another way to keep him on his toes"
"I guess it's a given your never going to be McKinley's Queen again Hon but you my fair lady will always be my beautiful wife and I love you for choosing me so how am I gonna cheat" he asked kissing her forehead
"I'm not ready to talk" Mercy whispered to Sam
"That's fine babe, are you ready to accept you might have a problem" he asked as she nodded "Just say that then" he encouraged her
"I'm not ready to talk to everyone just now I know something is wrong and I just need to speak to Sam" she said looking at him for her last words as she held onto his hand tight, so tight Sam started to get concerned about her truth
"Okay drinks everyone" Artie said getting up to order before anyone had a chance to respond
They sat talking for a while everyone sort of relieved to have got everything out except Mercy and Sam, an hour later and Mercy's first drink was still sitting on the table untouched. The evening was interrupted by Tina announcing she needed to get home before everyone witnessed an accident and soon after the evening finished as each couple went their separate way.
"I'll drive it's only 10 minutes" she offered as Sam went to open the passenger side for her
"Okay" he said going round to open the door for her before getting in himself for the ride home
"I know you got work tomorrow babe but I just need to get out how I'm feeling before I lose my damn mind"
"It's fine you know what my priority is gonna be" he said shuffling in the seat 'she called me Babe and she wants to fucking talk' he thought bringing a small smile to his mouth 'God it's felt like an age since we even had that much conversation without a shout, a cry or swearing, please let this be the end of this madness' he thought looking up to the heavens as they drove the rest of the way almost in silence except for the radio playing and Mercy humming along 'How long is this going to last for?' he thought, shaking his head to stop the second guessing of everything and start living in the moment.
Sam had met Mercy in college in LA 27 years ago he was a second year when she arrived and, although he'd seen her that first day he kept his distance because he was with Quinn at the time. Puck rocked up on his Harley Davidson and blew everything out the water for him grabbed his girl and his Quarterback position. Truth Sam was pissed for all of 10 minutes, he'd heard rumours about Quinn's extra activities, he tried to ignore them for a while but when she was in his face blasting him with it he sort of thought bye, but didn't get round to saying it until she was walking away with Puck. When he ended up substituting for Puck that season, they worked really well together and because he really didn't have any feelings for Quinn it was easy for them to become friends. Artie came along because of filming the moves on the field, he was the man to go to if you needed to look good out there on camera and everyone wanted to look good. Bonus was when Mercy turned out to be Tina's best friend and because Artie was always around, Tina was with him so when they got into mushy mode it always left Mercy and him just talking. They became friends, then bonified friends, then friends with small benefits and then one day he'd plucked the courage up to make them legal by asking her out and straight after college they'd got engaged and married within the year. Almost a year to the day later Kyle and Kayleen were born 4 minutes apart and they were complete,
Mercy was orphaned when she was 4 and grew up feeling very much alone in the world with trust issues having been sent from pillow to post to foster carers and children's homes. Her one constant in life was her schooling, she'd taken advantage of it she loved studying especially music and the arts, her voice was like an angel and acting came natural to her. It was no surprise when she announced she was going to try her hand at singing in the early years or later on when she took a back seat on that and went into acting but, the guilt of it all nearly made her give up. She struggled with leaving the children and Sam for any time at all and compromised her career many times due to stubbornness, Sam had managed to talk her out of giving up most of the time and now he guessed she was glad she'd have something to fall back on now the children had grown up, she was doing more film than song and they were loving life until 4 months ago when all hell broke loose in their living room.
She'd kept saying for weeks she was super tired and needed to sleep, her brain needed to stop for a while and maybe she could just die for a month and then wake up again silly stuff that ordinarily you'd take no notice of so that's what he did, took no notice. Then she started complaining about noises that only she could hear, well Sam could hear them too but they weren't to the extent she claimed to be hearing them and that became concerning because in her head it was all very real. Sam tried to encourage her to go see the GP but she flared up big style on him, throwing things across the room, shouting at an inaudible pitch, it was all he could do to dodge the objects. He'd put it all down to Kyle leaving for India less than 10 months after Kayleen had gone to England with her husband for work, and then things just got more bizarre as her mood swings got worse, tantrums got more dangerous, she didn't like being closed in, didn't like too many people around her, took great pleasure from shouting at him in public and private. She was eating like she was having another baby, coming at him all hours of the day and night and sex was through the roof for about 2 weeks then nothing absolutely nothing, kisses, hugs, talking and even sex vanished there was nothing
"Do you want a hot drink babe?" he heard, bringing him out of his thought, as he stood wondering how he'd made his way into the house without realising it
"Please" he said looking around to see her speeding off in the direction of the bathroom, then there was all that every five minutes through the night she was up to the bathroom, no wonder she was tired she wasn't getting any sleep, but neither was he, she was either wiggling out of his arms or slapping him off her and he swore she was spending all that time in the bathroom because she didn't know how to tell him to not touch her. There was lots of that don't touch my boobs, hips, your making my skin crawl, that was the worst just 3 days ago "I made her skin crawl" he said out loud looking around to see where she was
"So" Mercy said suddenly as she put the tray with hot drinks and cookies down on the table in front of him an sat on the footstool to the side of the couch he sat on "Do you want to assume the natural position?" she asked making him laugh
"You have it babe you're doing the talking, I'm listening" he smiled getting up to let her have the couch
"I love your smile babe" she said grabbing hold of his arm and bringing him down for a kiss "I really am sorry for my actions tonight" she said as he bent in to kiss her back then watched as she sat on the couch his heart jumping with joy, his wife was coming back "You've had a rough few months I know, I've given them to you" she said giving her sorry look
"We've had a rough few months babe" he smiled "Hopefully we're going to try and sort this out together" he said grabbing her hand "Assume position" he said as she lay down on the couch
"I guess I don't need to go through all the behaviour stuff you were there so I'll just get on to my feelings and thoughts and hopefully fill in some blanks for both of us" she said looking at him before putting her head forward and closing her eyes as she spoke her feelings. "It wasn't something that happened gradually it just came bang just like that knocked me off my bearings for a bit and I felt like I was just doing everything in slow motion, even speech" she said pausing for a moment to gather her thoughts "This might not come out in chronological order so bear with me" she asked "I remember being in the bathroom one morning and reaching for the loo roll and there was none, you'd done it again and any other time I'd have smiled and replaced it, but on this particular day I think you were lucky you were at work, I blew big time I was throwing things around banging in the cupboards almost hysterical about having to replace the roll you finished. I came out of there, I don't know how long after, thinking what the fuck did you just do, and I spent the whole day trying to figure out why, why do you think someone would go ballistic over toilet roll?"
"I don't know babe"
"I went shopping one day, that day you called me about 8 in the evening wondering where I was remember?" she asked opening her eyes to look at him
"Yeah I do"
"Would you believe me if I told you I'd lost the fucking car, I had no recollection whatsoever of where I'd parked it, I walked for hours, finally there were only about 6 cars left at the mall and I found ours. I couldn't make head or tail of the script for about 2 weeks and I didn't tell a soul I just went Diva on everyone and I guess you caught the worst of that because you know I hate being fake" she said her eyes closing tighter "My last period, after about a year of not seeing anything, was like the Red sea was flowing through me, I really thought I was going to die, I felt so weak and bloated and I just didn't want you touching me pretending you found me attractive I literally felt like crap, and that feeling didn't go away the week after the bleeding stopped and I guess my confidence went spiralling down big time" she informed him "My nipples are painful now and sex isn't something I want all the time, maybe because of the pain of my nipples I don't really know" she said looking at him "But I still love you and I pray every day that feeling comes back for me, for us I mean"
"Sex is important babe, but it doesn't define us, and I do miss my girls but, I really wouldn't want you in pain so, not touching them wouldn't be a problem" he smiled
"I think I smell different too" she said embarrassed "Maybe it's because I'm not making enough or even too much moisture down there if you know what I mean. There's just so much going on for me down there I, don't shout at me Sam" she said opening her eyes to look at him with tears in her eyes "I think I have Cancer or something messing with my system" she said to silence
"Cancer" Sam finally said with his blood drained face 'I was so not expecting this maybe I was expecting; had an affair, pregnant, sick, divorce even but not Cancer, why did I not think she'd say Cancer. I thought going to the doctors would just tell me there was some chemical imbalance and a lack of vitamin something and we'd fix it fuck do I really want to know this' "We need to go see the doctor Mercy deal with whatever this is" was what came out
"I'm scared when you say that Sam, I'm thinking do I really want to know, and I'm answering no I don't, I'm not ready to leave you yet to leave my life yet and if I've got to I don't want to know when so we can all sit about waiting for it, you know"
"I hear that babe but I'm thinking if something is wrong we need to catch it early so we can deal with it because I refuse to live without you" he said grabbing her hand
"And there lays our dilemma" she said letting out the biggest breath
"Okay we know what the symptoms are we've sourced one probable cause and now, the balls in your court Mercy, you have to decide what you want to do with the information you just shared but, I'll be right beside you whatever you choose" he said grabbing her hand "Anything else you want to share?"
"I'm prone to wetting myself" she laughed embarrassed
"I guess that happens to the best of us" he laughed "I wet myself about 2 weeks ago I was just too scared to come into the house for which Diva I was going to get and stood outside wetting myself for the longest time, by the time I got to the bathroom, and I mean that one out there" he pointed down the hall "It was too late I crept upstairs and changed into my sweats before you saw me" he said as Mercy already laughing, laughed harder "It wasn't funny I wanted to cry big 52 year old man wetting himself"
"I love you Sam Evans" she said still laughing
"I love you too Mercy Evans, returned" he laughed watching her laugh, her old self back
"I'm truly sorry about everything but can I have a week to think this thing through?" she asked
"Fine" he smiled
"I wish I could press pause on my life right now, cut the bits like this out and carry on"
"You want to take a pause?" Sam laughed "I remember you said that when the twins were coming you wanted to pause on the pain bit and fast forward to their first birthday remember?"
"You making fun of my pauses?" she asked looking at him sternly
"No, just remembering" he said
"Good because I remember a certain Mr requesting a pause on our daughter's wedding night" she laughed
"Oh God yes that night was the worst" he laughed
"And the look on your face the next day when you saw her, priceless" Mercy giggled as she got up "Do you want another drink?" she asked
"Please" he replied smiling as he answered 'God this feels good, she seems to be in a better place having told her truth or at least most of it and she's back to bubbly, funny Mercy, we'll be do...' Sam's thought was brought crashing down as he heard banging coming from the kitchen not dropped a pan banging but flinging things banging. He jumped up to go see what was happening "Mercy" he got out as he got to the door before a pan sent his world black
"He's dead, on the floor, I fucking killed him, what do you want me to check send the police, ambulance everything send everything now, get off the damn phone and deal with my request, I pay my fucking taxes I expect a service, now" Mercy was standing over him shouting as his vision came back in to focus
"Mercy" he said once he'd focused as she looked at him in shock "I'm alright babe something flew at my head and knocked me the fuck out" he almost smiled saying
"Babe I'm so sorry, I just flew into a fit for leaving the kettle empty when I last used it, I'm sorry" she said bending to look at his bleeding forehead
"It's alright babe" he said brushing her hand off him
"I said I was sorry" she said pulling her hand away and standing back up "Fuck it" she said walking away from him as he touched his forehead to assess the damage
"Shit" he said at the sting of it, sitting for a while longer until he felt he could safely stand. He made the call back to the emergency services and cancelled the ambulance assuring them he'd just bumped his head and he was never actually knocked out his wife was exaggerating. On putting the phone down he heard music and went to the studio to investigate finding Mercy playing a tune before she started singing her version of
'Girlfriend' by NAO (Adapted)
Losing it to waterfalls, rip and tidy years ago, buried under rivers all the doubt I didn't notice
Cause' maybe we learned for the magical, carpet that belonged to those, the beautiful and mystical illusion
Not the broken
Feels like pretty doesn't know me, only shows up when I'm lonely, through the tears of imperfection
The mirror knows, could you like someone that's hoping that, they crawl out of their own skin for a time?
[Chorus:]
If I was your woman, could you love for two? If I was your woman, could you pull me through?
To make us fly, To make us fly
Don't be scared to shed a little broken, oh baby yeah, your masculine's an offer to be opened
So that one day, one day, you know, coz I'm your lady, you' know how beautiful and mystical you are
[Chorus x2:]
Sam couldn't listen to all of it he was too upset and she was singing asking him to be strong in a situation like this, she'd just knocked him the fuck out, where was the strength in that. As he pushed the door to their bedroom he looked at the empty bed and thought 'this is it' rolling his eyes 'Until she gets to the GP we really don't know what we're dealing with'. Sam knew he'd been in conversation with Mercy most the evening talking about her feelings and stuff and then the big C word came into play and yes he felt sick at the thought but he'd pushed through for her. Now he was sitting on their bed imagining Mercy never being there again, never arguing with him again, never kissing him again and suddenly he was sobbing, which quickly turned into anger and very quickly red
"What the fuck" Mercy came running in saying, her voice alerting Sam to the fact he was no longer alone
"Mercy" he said as she came close and he let go of the chair he was about to throw across the room "I can't do life without you, I just can't" he said grabbing for her to hold onto, remembering her truth he waiting for her to touch him
"That's fine babe because I refuse to do death" she smiled grabbing his hands and throwing them about her "Maybe a nice bath will help" she finally said letting him go to go set it
"Babe you're the one that's needing the care not me" he told her when she came back out of the bathroom with his towel "This is all so alien to me I'm used to having you be the strong one, I'm scared I can't be that for you in this"
"I'm gonna visit the Doctors tomorrow I need home to be home again" she told him as she took his top off and threw it on the floor, undone his belt buckle and allowed his trouser to fall to the floor as he stared in her eyes wondering what she was asking here. She reached up and kissed him holding him with such pressure he found it hard to breathe "Sam I want to try, I need to try, help me try" she said in his ear, he didn't need any other encouragement, he hadn't touched his wife in about 3 months, his head was rushing but his hands knew her body and what it was saying as they touched, kissed and tasted each other bringing them to peak in their familiar ways, as they listened and understood each others noises. "I don't know that I can deal with anything else right now" she said as Sam went to complete the session
"That's okay babe" he smiled, they'd already gone way past where his mind saw them being that morning
"Your bath babe" She said "I'll go in after I can't take the oils, heat and I need space" she smiled
"Yeah" he smiled as he left their bed in exchange for the bathroom. He lay in the bath thinking about what had just happened he smiled 'she's right she tasted different' he thought as he lay back to think of nothing else but what was left back there in his bed "God I pray you give me her back" he said closing his eyes and first humming then singing softly to himself
'So I can have you back' by Joe (Adapted extract)
Can you hear me when I pray for you, never knew tears could make an ocean blue
[Chorus]
I hope this is the biggest mistake, its unforgivable and makes my heart break
I hope you tell it sorry not giving up, and it goes from good to better, so I can have you back
[Bridge]
There is nobody like you, (So I can have you back) without you, I don't know what to do
The love you give to to me I'm using it to breathe I know you think I'm wrong
But it keeps me holding on, to you Keeps me holding on, to you
The love you give to to me, I'm using it to breathe, I know you think I'm wrong
But it keeps me holding on, to you, Keeps me holding on, to you
[Chorus]
"Loving the song babe but could I get the bathroom any time soon?" Mercy shouted when he'd finished a definite smile in her voice
"Yeah sorry I'm out now" he said jumping out and grabbing his towel to exit the bathroom turning back to check everything was in place just in case "Home's pretty close for me right now" he smiled as she passed him on her way to the bathroom
"You are home babe" she said touching his bare chest as she passed, making him smile for the glint in her eye
"Wild child" he laughed as she peeped through the door before closing it giving her guess what happens next grin 'Don't ever change her' he asked looking up to the heavens as he fell onto the bed. By the time Mercy came out of the bathroom he was fast asleep, she didn't wake him they'd got a very important meeting in the morning, she'd been on line and booked her appointment for 9.15 sharp. She just lifted his arm and put it around her waist within seconds he'd pulled her in and rested his head between her neck and shoulder
"God I miss this, please let it be something trivial" she said looking up to the heavens before closing her eyes for the few minutes sleep she was going to be getting.
The morning came quick for both of them Mercy surprised that she hadn't woken once in the night and Sam too happy to speak for Mercy in his arms when he opened his eyes. "Babe" he said not moving because he didn't really know where her pain might be "Babe" he said as Mercy turned with a smile on her face
"Morning babe" she said "What time is it?"
"Just gone 7.30" he said "I need to get up but I don't want to hurt you"
"Oh sorry" she said rolling off him before sitting up to bend to kiss him "I booked an appointment for 9.15 this morning will you be coming with me?"
"Yeah" was all he said with a smile as he went to the bathroom 'thank the Lord for that' he said when he got there and shut the door doing an air fist punch bringing it down to hit his knee in celebration before thinking about Mercy's diagnosis as he turned on the hot water and let it run while he stared in the mirror trying to talk himself into being strong for her, splashing water on his face when he felt he'd got to a safe place with that
So they got dressed in almost silence, drove to the surgery with hardly any words spoken both trying to find the strength to deal with the other. They glided into the surgery, hummed their details to the receptionist and sat holding hands "Can we pause this?" Mercy asked
"Jump forwards or backwards?" Sam asked
"I don't know" she said looking at him with horror in her eyes "Sam I don't know" she cried
"We'll be fine babe" was all he could find to say as he held her close
"Mr and Mrs Evans" the receptionist called out directing them to the cubicle
"Sam" she said holding him tighter
"Could we get a minute please?" Sam asked at the obvious distress of Mercy "Take a pause babe be wherever you need to be in your head right now" he said which lead to them sitting in total silence for a while
"I'm ready to go in babe" she finally popped her head up and said, Sam didn't wait for anything else he nodded to the receptionist it was all go and headed towards the cubicle
Sam sat listening as Mercy told her story again, adding little bits and missing the more embarrassing stuff out, making him smile. After about 40 minutes Mercy came to a pause in her thought process and the Doctor jumped in with a lot of questions, most of them connected to hereditary stuff, which was frustrating for her because she didn't know any of it.
"Because of your age we'll do some tests to see if your going through the Menopause first"
"Through the what?" Mercy and Sam asked at the same time
"Menopause" the doctor said looking at them both "You've never heard of the menopause before?" she asked
"No" Mercy said
"Is it treatable?" Sam asked
"Yes with vitamin, natural oils even and a proper diet but if that doesn't work we can try medication most of it you can buy off the self"
"That pause worked" Sam said grabbing her hand "How do you test for that?"
"Urine sample usually tells us what we want to know it's quick, with bloods and stuff we can eliminate other things but it sound very much to me like the menopause" she said as Mercy willingly gave blood, urine and saliva to be tested as Sam made arrangements for the wait to be reduced. Less than a week later the results were back and they were yet again sitting in the surgery
"Results have come back Mrs Evans" the doctor informed her as they sat in the surgery "And it would seem you're in the process of passing through child baring age and into freedom" he laughed as Sam ad Mercy looked on blankly "Menopause, you're going through the menopause" he interpreted
"Okay we've read up on that we want to try the natural route first if yo don't mind" Mercy informed him
"Fine by me but remember I'm here to help" he said shaking hands as they left
The Bar
"Dude" Artie said getting Sam and Puck's attention "Took T to the doc's early last week she's going through
"Menopause" they all said at the same time
"Yeah Mercy too"
"And Q"
"I read up on it, this shit could go on for up to 10 years" Artie said
"I thought it was 2 years" Puck questioned
"Guys Mercy went to the GP like two weeks ago as soon as we heard the word we came back read up on it and started the natural route, it works, she's back to normal except we use Gel now to help her relax and stuff but naturals the way to go and if you keep on top of it too it won't really matter how long it takes them to get through this thing" Sam said enthused
"If we time it right as soon as they finish their menopause we can just waltz in with our mid life crisis and then they can deal with the shit" Puck suggested
"It's a plan" Artie added before the girls came back to the table from the bathroom
Are we singing tonight?" Quinn asked
"Usual boys and girls yeah?" Tina asked as the guys nodded not yet feeling in a comfortable enough place to argue the point and definitely not in public
"Do you guys want to go first babe?" Mercy asked as they sprung up without response
"Sorry babe yeah we'll take first if you don't mind, I've missed singing to you" he smiled as they got on the small stage
"No need for intro's everyone knows we sing for our wives over there" Artie said pointing to their table as the music started and they sung their version of
"Say You Won't Let Go" by James Arthur
Puck
I met you in the dark, you lit me up, you made me feel as though, I was enough
We danced the night away, we drank too much, I held your hair back when, you were throwing up
Sam
Then you smiled over your shoulder, for a minute, I was stone cold sober, I pulled you closer to my chest
And you asked me to stay over, I said, I already told ya, I think that you should get some rest
Artie
I knew I loved you then, but you'd never know, cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go
I know I needed you, but I never showed, but I wanna stay with you, until we're grey and old
All
Just say you won't let go, Just say you won't let go
Puck
I wake you up with some breakfast in bed, I'll bring you coffee, with a kiss on your head
And I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye, and I'll thank my lucky stars for that night
Sam
When you looked over your shoulder, for a minute, I forget that I'm older, I wanna dance with you right now, oh
And you look as beautiful as ever, and I swear that everyday you'll get better, you make me feel this way somehow
Artie
I'm so in love with you, and I hope you know, darling your love is more than its worth in gold
We've come so far my dear, look how we've grown, and I wanna stay with you, until we're grey and old,
All
Just say you won't let go, Just say you won't let go
I wanna live with you, even when we're ghosts, cause you were always there for me, when I needed you most
I'm gonna love you till, my lungs give out, I promise till death we part, like in our vows, so I wrote this song for you
Now everybody knows, cause it's just you and me, until we're grey and old
Just say you won't let go, Just say you won't let go
Just say you won't let go, Oh, just say you won't let go
"That was so beautiful" Mercy finally got out, through her crying, as the guys came near Quinn and Tina in bits over the song
"I need a minute" Quinn said getting up as all three went off to the bathroom
"Wow desired effect I'd say on that" Artie announced
"Brought stuff back for me too" Sam said smiling
"I wonder what their going to come back with, do you think we've won this week?"
"No way they went off crying but they'll be back with a cunning plan you watch" Sam stated smiling
"Okay" they heard over the mic Mercy's voice stronger than ever "We'd like to respond to the challenge set by the guys" she smiled
"Told you" Sam turned to Artie and Puck to say
"This is for those three that put up with all our Diva stupidity and still somehow. come back loving us" Mercy finished blowing a kiss to Sam
"Recovering" by Celine Dion
Tina
I am recovering, the faith of a child, by a part of my heart, I was reckless and wild
I am recovering, the hope that I lost, the part of my soul, that paid the cost
Chorus (All)
Little by little, day by day, one step at a time, shake off the devil, oh
Take back my piece of mind
Quinn
I am recovering, anxiety addict, a broken perfectionist, somewhat erratic, I am recovering
A constant regretter, hold it against her, at least till forever
Chorus (All)
Mercy
Hold me, as I fall apart, baby, hold me, here in the dark, cause the old me
Run just as far as I could from my heart, well, I'm going back to the start
Chorus (All)
Tell him I love him, yeah, take back my piece of mind
There was silence first and then applause as everyone banged something, the guys were tearing up listening to their wives admitting they had issues but knew they needed to deal with them and asking them to bare with them in it all
"Okay you win" Sam said standing up to grab Mercy as she came towards him
"We both won babe she said hugging into him "Can we take a pause, right now" she asked "I don't want to be anywhere else but right here right now with you" she said
"Take as long a pause as you like" he replied standing there in the bar holding her