Hello everyone! As some of you know, there was a different version of this spinoff that was published a little bit after the Steel Ball Run arc, however, I was not satisfied with the way it was written, as it was not my best work. So, I've decided to reboot it!
This will not be updated as frequently as A Legacy to Protect, as the stories will take place several different places on the timeline.
This story that they tell in this one takes place just before the Yakuza Raid.
And yes, characters from A Legacy to Protect will appear in this story.
*Excerpt from the Team Logbook:*
DB: Hello, My name is Diego Brando. I'm going to give you a quick gist.
My father is DIO Brando, an evil vampire who wanted to take over the universe. I'm not joking. As his son, I've been shackled to his evil legacy.
It's time to break free. This is the story of how I erased my father's evil presence from this world, and how I made the name Brando into a name to be revered, not feared.
HP: That was pretty good, it's like we're filming a documentary or something.
T: We are?! Ooooh! Hang on, I want to tell my tragic backstory!
DB: It's not a documentary! Anyway, our friend Polnareff was kind enough to type out our conversations into a logbook of our adventures. You're...not typing everything we say, are you?
Me: Maybe...
DB: You're getting back at me for throwing you in the pool, aren't you?
Me: Maybe...
DB: Alright everyone, let's try to keep the cussing to a minimum, Polnareff is not censoring us!
HP: You're one to talk.
DB: Shut the fuck up. Anyway...I think we should start this off with Twice's first mission with us, don't you?
T: Oh yeah! The golf one!
HP: You mean the mission that broke our fucking toilet?
DB: Yes, when we went after that wanker, D'arby.
It was a sunny day, in Miami.
And honestly...Daniel J. D'arby was enjoying every minute of it. In his old age, he had taken up mini golf, and like most games, he had become quite good at it. He enjoyed his newfound skill, being able to out-golf all of the other old men at the range.
"How are you so good at this D'arby?!" One of the people asked the retired agent of DIO. D'arby smiled twirling a golf club.
"I'm pretty good when it comes to some healthy competition."
"No kidding! The way you get those angles just right, it's like you're some kind of...genius!"
"Well...I guess you could say that." D'arby replied, before a smile came onto his face. "Say...how about a bet?"
"He was released from the mental hospital in the summer of 1992." The earpiece chimed into the concealed man's ear. "Apparently he's gone clean."
"If D'arby is clean, he'll live." The man replied digging around in his pocket, fingering his concealed pistol. A hat cast a shadow look over the majority of the man's face, but he appeared to be in his mid-20s. "If not..."
"We'll do what we came here to do."
"Yeah...I hope it doesn't come to that, everyone deserves a second chance, am I right?"
"We're both living proof of that."
"Yeah...if I do end up taking him out, it's got to be silent. This place is crawling with baddies. Do you know how many I would have to deal with?"
"38."
"Thirty-alright, it's settled, I'm taking the stealthful approach. Lay low for now, wait until I give you the signal."
"Alright, try not to eat anyone."
"No promises."
Of course, the man didn't actually eat people, it was a running joke that his partner came up with, she is insistent upon the fact that he has rabies. Sure, he is on the wilder side...
Slightly rabid.
"HEY DIEGO, ARE WE GO-" Diego clamped a hand over the black and grey masked villain/not villain's mouth.
"Jin, shut up! This place is filled with armed guards!"
"Oh...my bad..." Twice replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.
Diego Brando sighed, sitting down. "I appreciate you meeting up with us, Jin. How did you convince Santana to let you go?"
"I told Himiko that I was doing reconnaissance on the heroes.." Twice replied. "I feel really bad lying to her, but...I want to give the good guys a chance."
"You won't regret it, I promise." Diego replied.
He had met Twice online about two weeks after the Steel Ball Run, and they had hit it off. Twice was fascinated upon hearing of Diego's villainous actions, and how Diego managed to pull himself out of the darkness and helped save the world.
Diego took a liking to him almost instantly, having been a villain himself, he had a unique perspective on how Twice's situation led him to the League of Villains. He truly was just a guy that society decided to stomp on and leave outside like a bag of garbage. Not unlike himself.
He's a good man...a good man who is in a bad situation. He feels like being a villain is the only option for him...and I'm going to show him the light.
Johnny brought out the good in me, now I will bring out the good in him.
Ever since the Steel Ball Run, when Johnny Kujo spared his life, he promised to not only become a force for good, but that he would erase his father's, DIO's, evil legacy from the face of the Earth.
D'arby was first.
*Excerpt from the Team Logbook*
HP: Hi...this is Hot Pants...how the hell do you begin a fucking logbook entry anyway? You'll just type it out? Well, Diego thought it would be a good idea if we wrote down our missions, something about putting it out there for future generations to read?
Anyway, I'm typing this out in retrospect, so I'll go over the basics.
Twice had joined us, and Diego is really determined to make the guy turn over a new leaf. His quirk is actually terrifying, he can basically clone people. Do you have any idea how terrifying an army of Diegos is?!
DB: You were turned on by that, don't lie.
HP: No, I can barely deal with one of you.
Anyway, I was camping out on a rooftop with my brand new sniper rifle. I'm a stand user, but Cream Starter isn't necessarily good for fast paced combat, so I was waiting on standby unless someone needed immediate medical attention. Diego and Twice each went their separate ways, Diego went right into the fray, and Twice came to me...
"Alright Jin, just let me spray you real quick." Hot Pants said, motioning with her finger.
"Why?"
"You're in the League of Villains, a crook like D'arby is definitely going to recognize you. I obtained a bit of DNA from one of the guards, so I can use Cream Starter to disguise you as this guy."
"A-Alright...will it hurt?" Twice asked, and Hot Pants gave him an unamused look.
"Jin, would I hurt you?"
"No...it's just...this is the first time I've tried being something other than a villain..."
Hot Pants blinked. "You're...really attached to your teammates on the League, aren't you?"
"I've been alone for so long, they were the first friends I've had in a while." Twice explained. "They've turned me into a monster, They're all I've got."
"Not anymore." Hot Pants said, putting a hand on Twice's shoulder. "I understand, loneliness is one of the worst feelings a human being can ever experience. When I...lost my little brother, it felt like there was no one else in the world, I was completely alone. Then I joined a convent...and it only got worse, I didn't even think God was with me at that point. I became cold...unfeeling...and then I met my friends during the Steel Ball Run."
"You understand then! You don't ever want to leave them!"
"Yes...but they never forced me to hurt people, Jin." Hot Pants said. "I helped them do the right thing...but these people aren't them. They have forced you to help them do terrible things...Jin, things that you never wanted to do. You're a good man...you deserve better than that."
Twice looked down, and Hot Pants knew that under the mask, there was pain, and a whole lot of it. "I feel like I'm stuck...I love them like family, but..."
"They don't love you, Jin. If they did, they would accept you no matter what, even if you didn't want to be a villain." Hot Pants finished spraying on the disguise. "Do you feel like Diego and I are forcing you to do this with us?"
"No...I know you guys care about me, and I know that you're right...but..." Twice looked up. "Everyone else in the League is there for the same reason I am! We all feel like it's a place to belong!"
"You don't have to be the only one...but you regret your actions, do they?"
"No...HP, if I leave the League...you guys would accept me, right?"
"Absolutely. Now...if you're ready, Diego could use some help sneaking around down there."
"Alright...here I go, thanks HP. You are a true friend."
Hot Pants smiled and waved. "Good luck, Twice."
One of D'arby's guards pulled out a cigarette, intending to destroy his depression by destroying his lungs. D'arby was paying him jack shit, and if he didn't scrounge up some money soon, he would be on the streets.
Then a chord was tied around his neck, and he was being strangled by Diego Brando. "Shhhhhhh...you're getting very sleeepyyyy..."
Diego waited until the guard lost consciousness, and dragged the man out of sight.
"Did you see that Hot Pants? Did it look cool?"
"See what?"
"I just took out a guy Agent 47 style. You think I can do this like Hitman?"
"If you somehow do it exactly like Agent 47 does, I'll buy you lunch."
"You asking me out on a date?"
"Don't get your hopes up. Be careful, Jin is disguised as one of the guards."
"Well...so am I." Diego said, finishing putting on the guard's uniform. He slowly dragged the man into the men's locker room, and shoved him inside a locker.
"Oh my God...you're actually committing to this."
"You better belie...were you watching me change?"
"No."
"You have a visual on me, you just confirmed it. You were watching me change!"
"Breathe a word of this to anyone, and I'll kill you."
"Did you like what you see?"
"I hate you."
"I'll take that as a yes." Diego walked out in the guard's uniform. "And don't worry about Jin...I have a good nose."
Diego walked up to the guard's position, and spotted D'arby playing golf with another old man. "I have a visual on the target...of course you already know that, since you enjoy watching me so much."
Diego grinned to himself as he heard Hot Pants give a long, drawn out sigh over the earpiece. "You're lucky you're cute, otherwise I would strangle you. Yes, D'arby is pretty visible, and he's also having a pretty good time. It's almost as if Jotaro Kujo never drove him insane at all."
"He's made quite the recovery." Diego agrees. "From his insanity, that is...from his criminal past? We'll have to wait and see."
Diego saw something that caught his attention. One of the guards was hopping up and down, waving. Diego had to smile, and gave his disguised friend a quick nod. "Also, can you tell Jin that he's being a little too enthusiastic? I don't have a flesh disguise like him, so if someone important notices me, they'll realize I don't actually work here."
Twice soon stopped jumping, and gave Diego an apologetic look.
"Also, tell him I'm happy see him."
Twice gave him a thumbs up.
"And tell him-"
"I'm not your messenger pigeon, idiot."
"I know."
"Hey, this is your mission, you should worry about it instead of teasing me."
Diego sighed. "I suppose you're right. We really need to get one big channel for the three of us."
"If Jin decides to be our inside man..."
"He knows we care for him more than they do...he's told me that. Hopefully, he'll be a permanent member of Passione."
D'arby shot one last golf ball, and somehow got a hole in one. Suddenly, the other guy collapsed.
"Hey! He's hurt, help!"
Diego's expression darkened. "He's already dead...no signs of life."
*Excerpt for the Team Logbook.*
DB: So yeah, this fucker was still stealing souls, he didn't learn his lesson at all. The difference is, he was using golf. Golf. He went from poker to golf, massive downgrade.
T: What's wrong with golf?
DB: It's fucking BORING! Ooooh, look at me, hitting a ball into a hole! I'm so sophisticated!
HP: You're just salty because you're trash.
DB: I beat him, did I not?!
T: Yeah! But...didn't you ask me to help you cheat?
DB: I was playing by his rules!
HP: I sense a wounded pride.
DB: No, I won!
HP: It's a tainted victory.
DB: A tainted victory is still a victory!
Diego grumbled to himself, pissed. "Hot Pants...we should take out the guards, that way this guy can't call for help."
"We're taking him out?"
"We're taking him the fuck out. Let Twice know what we're doing."
"Alright...be careful..." Hot Pants dropped her normally sarcastic demeanor. "I lost you once...never again."
Diego nodded, looking up towards the building Hot Pants was on, and blowing a kiss. "Don't worry Love...I will."
Twice had disappeared.
"I've instructed Jin to cause a security breach, since he's disguised as a guard, they should believe him. You'll be the guard to escort D'arby to 'safety', try to do an American accent."
"No problem!" Diego replied in a very fake Southern accent. "I think it ain't too shabby!"
"That is extremely overexaggerated, it's just plain awful."
"I don't know how to American, alright? I'll just have to be the strong, silent type."
"Strong? Yes. Silent? I wish."
"Shut up, I'm going now."
Diego casually positioned himself close to D'arby, listening to the gambler's conversation.
Twice looked back and forth, his mind torn on how exactly he was going to trip the alarm. He was disguised as a guard after all, he could simply lie.
I could say that I spotted someone sketchy, but then they would catch on after a while, and they would search the whole place, well...maybe I could take someone out?
Twice tapped a fellow guard on the shoulder. "Excuse me? I think I saw someone sketchy over there, do you think you could help me check it out? Great job! That was a good excuse!"
"Huh? What was that last part?"
"Oh...er...I said we have no time to lose, hurry! Good going asshole."
Twice led the other guard over to a corner, and looked around. "No one's here...good."
"Yeah, tell me about it. Mr. D'arby would've killed us if there was an intrud-"
THUNK!
Twice hit the man over the head with a trash can lid, knocking him out. "There we go! HP, I've got a good idea. I better not screw this up, or we're both doomed."
"It's alright Jin, I'm listening."
Guards came running past D'arby, startling the former agent of DIO. "MR. D'ARBY, A GUARD HAS BEEN ATTACKED, IT'S NOT SAFE!"
D'arby raised an eyebrow, and turned to the only guard that remained. The guard jerked his head, indicating that the gambler should follow him.
"Alright, lead the way."
D'arby followed the guard, who was leading him into a more secluded area. "You gonna talk? Reassure me that everything is alright?"
Silence.
"Nah...that isn't your style, is it, Lord DIO?"
The guard stopped.
"I'd remember that jawline anywhere...you're not actually him though, are you? No...your lips aren't as full, and your cheekbones are slimmer. I heard a rumor...that he had children..."
"You're too observant for your own good, old man." Diego threw off the hat and pulled his pistol out of his holster. D'arby eyed the gun, and then back at Diego.
"So...here to kill me? Why?"
"I'm not DIO."
"Well yes, that's pretty obvious now. You're his little boy."
"Exactly, I'm not my father, I want erase every single trace of his evil from the planet...as soon as I saw you take that man's soul, I knew you had to be eliminated. After all these years, you haven't learned a thing."
"Go ahead then...shoot me."
"Huh?"
D'arby pressed his forehead into the end of Diego's gun. "Do it. Go ahead, wipe the world of your father's evil...as well as all of the innocent souls I have in my possession. Replace your father's evil with your own!"
"Oh you WANKER!" Diego snarled, lowering the gun.
"That's what I thought. Now, I suppose you could end up killing me and saving those souls at the same time...but...you'd have to beat me at golf."
"...You're really going to make me do this? Play an old people's game with you?"
"Anyone can play golf! And yes...if you beat me, I will set all the souls free, and you can do with me as you wish, if you lose...I get your soul. How about it, son?"
D'arby offered a hand, and Diego checked his earpiece. "Did you get that?"
"Looks like we have no choice..."
"Who are you talking to?"
"My girlfriend." Diego replied. "Alright...if I fall, it's up to you."
"You better know what you're doing, Diego..."
Diego took D'arby's hand. "Alright D'arby, let's play some fucking golf."
Twice stepped around the goop that used to be all of the guards. "Man, that's gross. Cool, but gross."
"Sorry, but that's just how my flesh spray works." Hot Pants said, dropping down from the roof. "Diego just challenged D'arby to a game of golf, he's at risk."
"WHAT?! WHY WOULD HE DO THAT?!"
"He's...the type to put himself at risk to accomplish his goals. He's very ambitious, and even though his ambitions are postive, he won't care about his own health if he wants to reach them." Hot Pants said. "The difference between the Diego then, the one who would do just about anything, and the Diego now...he's fighting for people other than himself."
"Other than himself..." Twice breathed out. "Who?"
"Everyone his father hurt, and us. He has gone from a man who wanted to be the best, to a man who wants to be his best. He simply wants to help others...that's why he isn't giving up on you, Jin."
Twice looked at Diego, who was twirling the golf club with a determined look. "He wants to risk it all, for...is that what being a hero is?" Twice continued to stare. "He could die...and he still wants to build a better world..."
*Excerpt from the Team Logbook:*
T: That was the moment I decided to switch sides.
DB: Really?
T: Really. I saw your resolve...you had a tragic past, just like my friends in the League...and yet you were still fighting for someone other than yourself. Toga, Compress, even Big Sis Magne...they only cared about killing the society that had wronged them, but you focused on healing the wronged, like me. That's when I knew which side to pick.
HP: Was it my monologue? Please tell me it was my monologue.
T: Kinda.
DB: I loved your monologue. Shows how much you love me!
HP: Another questionable life decision on my part.
Me: I think you guys are cute together!
HP: Polnareff, shut the fuck up.
DB: You're such a tsundere!
HP: No, I'm not.
Me: I don't know Hot Pants...you do have some of the qualities...
HP: Go choke on a baguette.
"I'm going to help him." Twice stated !after of factly, catching Hot Pants by surprise.
"Jin...he could very well end up stealing your soul too."
"I know, but...I...want to be like Diego."
Hot Pants blinked, and then had the warmest smile that Twice had ever seen on the woman. "I'm glad. Alright, we need to come up with a plan to give Diego the advantage. D'arby is much more experienced than him..."
Twice racked his brain, then had a lightbulb. "I might be able to take Diego's measurements..."
Diego slowly took off the jacket, revealing his new outfit. The light blue that had defined his look during the Steel Ball Run had been replaced with black, and two leather straps ran from his shoulders to his armpits. He slipped on his gloves, and handled the golf club.
At that moment, D'arby almost did a double take. Diego was much bigger than he let on, now that the jacket was off. Not good, with a body like that he must have a hell of a swing. If he's anything like his father, he must be rather cunning too. He has the physical advantage...
Diego twirled the golf club again, before turning to D'arby. "You said we'd play golf, but you never specified what the bet actually was."
"Ah yes...the first one to get two pars wins. You know what a par is?"
"Just because I don't like golf, doesn't mean I don't know the rules. I researched it, so I could hate it properly."
"Well...you're really petty, aren't you?"
"That's what my girlfriend keeps telling me."
"Diego, say you have to piss."
"I'm sorry, could you put this on hold for a few minutes, I have to pee."
D'arby pressed his lips together. "Fine, but make it quick."
Diego walked into the men's bathroom, and Twice burst out of a stall and began assaulting him with a tape measure. "WHOA, WHA-"
"Don't worry! I can clone people once I have their measurements! If I clone you, it could give us the advantage!"
Diego stared at Twice for a moment, before smiling. "Alright Jin...I trust you."
Hot Pants finished hollowing out a golf ball, and tossed it down into the pile below. Diego's nose should detect the bit of cinnamon I put inside of it.
Upon entering a relationship, Hot Pants recently discovered that for some reason, Diego's dino senses react more to cinnamon than anything else. It was like catnip for the guy, so Hot Pants knew he'd be able to spot the fake ball from the real ones.
She put the knife she was using to hollow out the ball back into it's sheath at her side, and held her sniper rifle close. If there was even a slightest hint that D'arby was up to something...
But then she'd be dooming all of the people he's collected.
But she'd lose Diego, and not only was he the person she cherishes most, but if he dies...the mission is over. Diego wouldn't be able to destroy his father's legacy, and all of it would be for nothing.
I remember why I agreed to help him. For the crime of leaving my little brother to die...I still don't feel as though I have earned forgiveness...Diego and I want the same thing: redemption.
May as well do it together, right?
Everyone, the guards, guests, they were all either gone or incapacitated as a result of Twice triggering the alarm, Diego and D'arby were the only people on the field. Hot Pants watched as D'arby went for a hit.
The ball soared through the air, and then suddenly curved.
WHAT?!
"WHAT?!" Diego shouted, his jaw dropped. "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! IT'S NOT EVEN WINDY OUT!"
"It's called being good, Baby Brando." D'arby taunted.
Diego could only stare as D'arby's ball landed on the green. "A ball doesn't curve like that unless there is wind, you had to have cheated!" He accused, pointing a finger into D'arby's chest.
"It's not cheating if you don't get caught." D'arby responded with a smirk. "Chill out! At this rate, you'll end up in a retirement home before I do!"
"You fucking donut." Diego muttered as he stomped over to the golf balls, only to catch a word of cinnamon, and his sour mood faded away. Ah, Hot Pants...you know me too well.
Diego took three golf balls, and stuck one in his mouth to chew. D'arby took a step back once he saw what Diego was doing. "Are you...eating the ball?!"
"Yup, why? Don't you?" Diego asked, stuffing the hollow ball in his pocket, and pulled out the legitimate one. "Alright, here I go."
What D'arby didn't know, was that Diego was eating the golf ball as a distraction, allowing Hot Pants to run from one building to another to avoid being seen.
Hot Pants noticed how D'arby was cheating immediately. He had installed several fans around the golf course, which a second party was switching on and off in order to control where D'arby's balls were going. "So...this fan is remotely operated, meaning our gambler has an accomplice. You getting this Twice?"
"Yep! You think this guy is in the security office? This golf course has to have one."
"I would assume so...hold on...can you go over to Diego's guard uniform? I swore the guy he knocked out had a keycard."
"Yeah, no problem...Diego is about to hit his ball."
"Don't worry, it doesn't matter how bad Diego fucks it up, that hollow ball I gave him should give him an advantage."
"I got it! Catch!"
A keycard came into Hot Pant's line of view from below, and she snatched it. "Thanks. Now...maybe I can turn the fans against D'arby..."
"WRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Diego yelled with a grin, whacking the ball as hard as he possibly could. The ball soared through the air, and landed in the middle of a sand pit. "Ha!"
"What do you mean? That is one of the worst places for the ball to land!"
"Maybe for you..." Diego said with a grin.
"Are you trying to intimidate me? I know golf!"
"No, I'm not Jotaro Kujo after all, I doubt I could do it as well as he did."
"Why you..." D'arby said with a glare. "Do not bring him up."
"Oooooh, struck a nerve there, didn't I?" Diego said with a grin. "Have you ever considered the fact that I may have the advantage in this situation? Perhaps...hitting it in the sand pit was intentional?"
"I call bullshit. The same trick won't work on me twice!" D'arby said, walking over to his ball, and putting it.
Only for it to move slightly to the left.
"Wha-?"
"Oh...felt a bit of wind there." Diego said. "I guess it's not all that clear after a-"
The ball rolled to the right and landed in the hole, and Diego's mouth fell open.
"You were saying?"
That ball...is must be weighted! Diego realized. Since there is a slight incline, the extra weight cause the ball to fall back into the hole! Shit, he was two steps ahead of me!
D'arby gestured towards the sand pit. "Your turn, Brando."
"motherfuckerI'llkissyourmotherandleaveherintherainyoufuckingbitchdonutwanker." Diego muttered to himself as he walked up to the sand pit. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew over the sand pit, scattering sand everywhere. Diego coughed and waved a hand in front of his face. "WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"My, how unfortunate, I guess you were right about the wind." D'arby said with a smile. "Hopefully you can still take the shot with sand in your eyes."
Diego grumbled, and hit the ball, and D'arby was surprised to find that it had sailed out of the sand easily. The ball landed in the green, further shocking D'arby, and proceeded to roll right into the hole.
D'arby sputtered as Diego walked over to the hole, pulling out the golf ball and rubbing it on his shirt. "Not too shabby, eh?"
"How...?"
"I told you, I wanted to get in the sand pit."
"That should be impossible! Show me that ball!"
Diego handed D'arby the ball, and the gambler examined it, threw it up and down a few times, and begrudgingly handed it back. "You cheated, I know you did!"
"Or maybe you underestimated me." Diego said simply. "One more par to go, right?"
D'arby began to sweat.
"Wow, Diego switched those balls really quickly!" Twice noted. "He traded the hollow ball with the normal one inside of the hole! He's so cool!"
Suddenly, the hollow ball popped out of the hole, and began rolling back to Diego, shocking Twice. "What the hell? It's alive! No it's not, it has to be a trick!"
"Your other half is right, Twice, look closer." Hot Pants said. "There was a good reason I hollowed out the ball, don't you see?"
Twice looked closer.
"Oh! There's a little dinosaur inside!"
"I turned the fans onto the sand pit so D'arby wouldn't see Diego switch the golf balls. That ball will do anything he wants it to."
"D'arby seems smart though, he's sure to figure it out."
"That's where you come in."
D'arby shot his ball out into the green, and grinned as he got a hole in one. "Hmph, I bet you can't do that."
Diego felt his dino ball crawl up his pant leg, and threw the normal ball up into the air, switching the balls just as the normal one came down, stuffing the normal one in his sleeve. My enhanced reflexes are perfect for slight of hand tricks. Alright D'arby, you may have skill, but I have flexibility.
Diego put the ball on the ground, and was about to hit it, when D'arby suddenly snatched it. Shit!
"AHA!" D'arby put a finger inside, and flicked the miniature dinosaur out. "I knew it! You cheated, and now you are caught! You've lost, since I was the only one who did it legitimately! Osiris!"
The stand in question appeared behind D'arby, and reached towards Diego.
Only for Diego to smile.
"Sure...I cheated, you've got me. The question is...which me?"
Another Diego Brando stepped out and chopped the current one in the neck, causing it to melt. "You see, you were never truly playing against me in the first place."
"W-what is this?!" D'arby took a step back, while Osiris looked around in confusion as more Diego Brandos kept popping up. "WHAT THE HEEEEELLLL?!"
"Which me did you win against, D'arby? Which me is the real me? How are you going to find out?"
D'arby was suddenly surrounded by an army of Diegos. "WHAT?! WHAAAAAT?! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOOOOOO! THIS ISNT REAL, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAAGAGAAHAAAHAAHGH!"
D'arby broke down, and the souls of the people he swindled returned to their bodies, or the afterlife. The only thing D'arby could do is scream in pure terror as the sanity he had worked so hard to get back was slowly drained out of him.
All of the Diegos melted away except one, and the real Diego walked up to the broken man and pulled out his gun. D'arby could only twitch on the ground...his mind completely shattered.
BANG!
Hot Pants finished spraying D'arby's body with Cream Starter, and began gathering the body into a big ball of flesh, which she began squeezing into a smaller ball.
"Good thing we have you around, it would have started a manhunt if we left his body here." Diego said, cleaning his gun.
"You're damn right you're lucky to have me." Hot Pants said with a smile. "I have to be honest, I had no idea that the Diego playing golf was a clone the entire time, that was good thinking!"
Twice sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Oh no...it was mostly Diego's idea."
"Don't give me all the credit, if it had actually been me out there, he would've stolen my soul for sure!" Diego said, patting Twice on the shoulder. "Because he caught me cheating, not because he was better than me at golf or anything."
"Suuure." Hot Pants said with a smirk. "But seriously...you did good Jin, we couldn't have done it without you."
"Then I'm staying."
Diego and Hot Pants both looked at Twice. "Really?"
"Yes." Twice said, clenching his fist. "Look at all those people we just saved...it felt...good. It's going to be tough, betraying the League...but...I'm gonna be your inside man! I'm sticking with you guys, because...I like helping people more than hurting them!"
Diego pulled Twice into a hug. "That...makes me really happy Jin. Listen...if you can convince any of your friends to join us, they can. Here..."
Diego handed Twice a pin in the shape of a ladybug.
"A ladybug?"
"It means you're a part of Passione now, you're officially part of the team. I'll let Giorno know of your decision."
Twice looked at the pin, and closed it in his fist. "I want to convince Himiko...she's my first friend, so...I hope she will go with me."
"If she's truly your friend, she will."
Twice nodded, and stuffed the pin into his pocket.
*Excerpt from the Team Logbook:*
HP: And then came the Yakuza Raid...
T: She didn't come with me, she just tried to kill me.
DB: She's a bitch.
T: That's not nice. Yeah, she is.
HP: Well, we had to get rid of D'arby somehow, so we took him home in a suitcase, and we ended up flushing him down the toilet like the piece of shit he was...
DB: Except he's still in there...he clogged it. No matter what we do, we can't get him out. He's probably all gross now.
Me: It's not like you could just call a plumber either, how would you explain a giant ball of flesh and shitty mustache in your pipes? Ugh...well, I can second him being a piece of shit, I remember when he stole my soul in Egypt, let me tell you, being a poker chip is not fun.
DB: Well, now we owe Giorno a new toilet.
GG: It's fine, I can afford it.
HP: When did he get here?
GG: I was here the whole time, in the turtle.
DB: You're as silent as a cat sometimes, you know that?
GG: Well, someone has to be the calm and rational sibling.
HP: That is true.
DB: Oh my God, shut up. Anyway, that was Twice's first of many missions with us! Next, we have to talk about...which one should we talk about?
HP: Pet Shop?
T: Fugokilled Pet Shop in like...two seconds...it wouldn't be very exciting.
HP: But he froze Diego! I love embarrassing stories about Diego!
DB: I'm going to bed now...