Hey Guys! I know it has been forever but when I saw the trailer for season two I thought, 'Heck to it all, I'm writing this thing whether anyone likes it or not.' The trailers are so good! Gah! I'm dying from the waiting. Well without further adieu, Chapter 3!
The little tutor home was exactly the same as every house in the neighborhood. They all had light blue walls and white sidings and railings. The houses were surrounded by pink cherry blossom trees and white picket fences. It resembled what a perfect home would look like. Safe and happy.
"Hello there! Salutations! Shalom! You must be the Baudelaire children!" a lady said. She was older than their parents had been. She looked like a judge with her white wig and black judge's robe. The woman was also carrying a couple of grocery bags with her.
"Yes, I'm Violet Baudelaire, and these are my brothers, Max and Klaus, and these are my sisters, Bree and Sunny. And this is Mr. Poe. He's been arranging things for us," Violet introduced them.
"Mulctuary Money Management. My name and title are on the card.
Although I may be in line for a promotion, so that might change," Mr. Poe told her.
"Oh, well, I am Justice Strauss of the High Court. Forgive my not shaking hands, but as you can see, I am a mountain of parcels," she justified. "I just bought a new toolkit because my food processor broke. Although I don't know who I think I'm kidding, because I have no inventive or mechanical skill whatsoever."
Violet's eyes lit up upon hearing that.
"Then I treated myself to new file cards for my private library, and frankly I don't have an acute literary sense," she continued this time Klaus's eyes ignited.
"And then, to top it all off, I forgot to buy a new bread knife. It means I have no possible way of cutting up this baguette into bite-sized pieces, which is really unfortunate because I was gonna take the bread that was cut up with a white bean hummus," she continued as Sunny cooed.
"We'd be more than happy to be of assistance, Justice Strauss," Violet said.
"My sister is very mechanically minded, and I'm quite adept at library science," Klaus said.
"Dijbo deh," Sunny babbled.
"What my sister means is her teeth are perfect for slicing bread," Violet told her.
"And we would be more than happy to help you with anything else you would like assistance with," Max told her on behalf of him and Bree.
"Oh, Well, how wonderful! How lucky am I to have such unusual children in my life?" she fawned.
"Are you Count Olaf's wife?" Violet asked.
" What? Oh! Oh, no! No. No," she said as if they were crazy. "Goodness me, no. No, I don't even really know him that well. He's he's just my neighbor. His house is over there." She pointed to the house across the street.
Birds cawed and the mood changed drastically. The dream had suddenly shifted into a nightmare waiting for them with expectant arms as they walked across the street towards the broken down mansion.
Bree could see the outline of a man looking at them through the highest window. She already didn't like him but that didn't mean she wouldn't give him a chance to change her mind.
Mr. Poe rang the doorbell which played an odd melody. It wasn't creepy just not comforting.
"That's strange," Mr. Poe said. "He said specifically he was waiting very eagerly to get his hands on you," he tried the doorbell again.
"What did he mean, get his hands on us?" Max asked.
His question would've been answered had it not been for the door opening. There in front of them was an odd looking man with a less than desirable amount of white that stuck out everywhere. His eyes were deceptive and concerning under what barely passed as his two shifty eyebrows. His smile was crooked but wasn't enough for Mr. Poe to notice, not that anything was.
He wore a slightly worn suit and small scarf which were both in far better condition than the house had probably been in years. The only odd instead of creepy thing about this man was the tattoo he had on his ankle of an eye.
"Hello, hello, hello, children," he welcomed. The group shared a concerned look with each other for obvious reasons. "I am Count Olaf, the renowned actor and your new guardian." Bree gave him a polite nod but that was about all he got plus someone's cough. "You're welcome."
"Thank you," they all said in unison.
"You're welcome," he repeated. "Please, come in, and mind you wipe your feet on the mat so you don't track in any mud. And don't forget your enormous fortune! Welcome to my humble home, orphans and a man with a hat on..."
"Poe," he introduced himself.
"Actually, I'm about to be rather wealthy," Count Olaf told him trying to shoo him out. "So if you'll excuse me."
"No, we spoke on the phone," Poe said not taking the hint. "I'm from Mulctuary Money Management."
"Hmm," he pondered. "Money, sounds familiar, but the bank..."
"I'm from the bank," Mr. Poe gave.
"Ah, yes, the bank," Olaf realized. Max was concerned by his lack of memory but then again that could be used to their advantage. "Well, welcome to my humble home."
"It does seem to need a little work," Mr. Poe started coughing like crazy again.
"I really think he really needs to see a doctor about that," Bree whispered to Max. He nodded as Mr. Poe's cough started to die down.
"Well, I realize it's not as fancy as the Baudelaire mansion, but perhaps, children, with a bit of your money, we'll be able to fix it up, make it nicer," he proposed.
"Count Olaf, the Baudelaire fortune is not to be used for such matters," Mr. Poe said. "The Baudelaire will is very specific as to how the children are to be raised in case of an unfortunate event."
"Ah, yes, the fire," Olaf recollected.
"They're to be raised by their closest relative," he continued.
"That is I, Count Olaf," he proclaimed.
"And every cent of the Baudelaires fortune is locked up until Max and Violet comes of age,"
"Which ones are they?" he asked.
"I'm Max," he introduced himself. "This is Bree," he showed them as he went along, "Violet, Klaus, and Sunny."
"All right, then," he growled slightly. Probably due to the fact that he really didn't want to wait that long for Violet to grow up. "Well, I hope I can prove myself to be the father you never had."
"We had a father," Klaus said.
"Yes, I know. And a mother. Remarkable woman. Flammable," he said.
"Isn't everybody?" Violet asked.
Count Olaf gave a slight chuckle but not one of glee or amusement but more of an evil plotting one that sends a slight shiver down your spine. Poe however did not notice. "So, Poe, do I need to sign for them or something?"
"What? No. No," he answered.
"Well, then, as we say in the theater, exit stage right," he said showing him the door.
"Goodbye, Violet, goodbye, Klaus, goodbye, Sunny. I hope you'll be happy here," he said while being pretty much shoved out the door. "I'll still check in on you occasionally. If you need anything or have questions, you can reach me at the bank."
He couldn't finish due to the door slamming behind him by Count Olaf. He turned to the children. "Well, children, before I give you a tour of your new home, aren't you going to say "How do you do?" to your new guardian?"
"How do you do?" They all asked in unison. Bree gave a small curtsy while still holding Sunny.
"Thank you for taking us is sir," she started trying to be polite. "I know it must be a slight burden for you but we will certainly do our part around the house."
For a moment, a shred of gentleness creeped into his eyes but was quickly gone that second later. "Do you know what this is?" he asked them slightly demeaning.
"It looks like a list," Klause answered.
"Wrong!" he almost yelled. "It's a list. A list of chores. Rich brats like you probably never worked a day in your life."
"Actually I was the maid," Bree said a bit timidly.
"Yeah," Max said. "We would often help her around the house."
"Oh Really?" He started mockingly, "Did you help around the house? Well, welcome to your lucky life orphans!"
The Baudelaires looked at one another. This was not going to be a smooth ride.
Next chapter will be up sooner than last time. Promise. Let me know what you think in the review section.