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Amaya woke up to the sound of rain on the window in her small bedroom and rolled over onto her back, groaning. To say she was exhausted was an understatement. Amaya lay with her eyes closed, trying to remember the last time she'd had a proper night's sleep. It had to have been before the war. Before the brother who ruled her home kingdom, Ilfain, had turned upon his sister who ruled the neighbouring kingdom of Rhuain and started a year-long bloody war over premoya oil. Amaya pulled the pillow out from under her head and smothered her face with it to block out the light.
A knock sounded on her door and Amaya pushed the pillow off her face, sitting up abruptly.
"Amaya?" Ben's voice called, tentatively. "Are you ready for breakfast?"
Shit. She was probably already late. Again. Luke was going to think it was a habit of hers and refuse to admit her to the school for lack of punctuality.
"Sorry, I'm not ready yet!" Amaya called, jumping out of bed and picking up Voe's outfit. "You can go down without me."
Ben was silent for a moment before replying, "Do you know where the mess hall is?"
"I'm sure I can find it." Amaya replied through the door, as she struggled to put on Voe's surprisingly complicated outfit. There were just so many pieces of fabric and straps and...was that a belt?
"I can wait for you." Ben said and Amaya smiled.
"No, go on ahead. I'm going to be a while." She replied, running a brush through her long hair. Just getting this mess of curls into a bun was going to take half the day, Amaya thought to herself.
Ben hesitated before finally agreeing. Amaya heard his footsteps walk away as she struggled with her hair. Perhaps this is why Tai doesn't have hair, Amaya mused.
After what seemed an eternity, she was finally ready. Grabbing her key, she locked her room behind her before practically sprinting down the hall to the stairs. In front of her, a group of young children, no older than 10, were walking down the stairs together. Their chatter stopped abruptly as they noticed her and they fell silent.
"Hi." Amaya said, smiling at them. A few of the children giggled and waved shyly as they reached the bottom floor.
"What's your name?" A Twi'lek girl asked.
"Amaya." Amaya replied, "What about you?"
"Teka." The girl replied.
"I'm Jules." A human boy piped up as they walked.
"And I'm Wren." The other boy, a Quarren, added.
One human girl, with white blonde hair stayed silent, her eyes fixed on the floor. "And what's your name?" Amaya asked the girl.
"That's Isla." Teka said, "She doesn't talk much."
Amaya nodded, smiling, "That's okay." She said as they reached the mess hall. "It was nice to meet you all." Amaya said as she spotted Ben, Hennix, Voe, and Tai at a table at the far end of the hall. "I'll see you later."
The children gave their goodbyes as Amaya left, weaving her way through the tables until she reached the older padawans.
"You made it!" Voe cried as she took a seat next to Hennix. "I was just about to come looking for you." She added, shooting a look of contempt at Ben.
"Yea, I slept in." Amaya admitted, "Sorry I'm late. Where...where do I get the food?" She asked, remembering this was the point of breakfast.
"Over there." Hennix said, pointing towards a small counter staffed by a teenaged boy handing out plates of food.
Amaya nodded and stood back up, walking over to get her food.
"You still should have waited for her." Amaya heard Voe say from behind her as soon as she thought Amaya was out of hearing range.
"Voe, give it up already." Tai replied.
Amaya walked away faster, not wanting to hear any more. She took the plate the boy offered her and then walked back to the table, noticing how it became quiet as she sat down.
"So what are we doing today?" Amaya asked to break the awkward silence.
Hennix shrugged, "It's never possible to predict. Sometimes I swear Master Luke makes it up as he goes."
"What does running the course mean?" Amaya asked as she ate.
"It's an obstacle course Master Luke made for us. It's outside which means we're going to be soaked." Voe said, wrinkling her nose.
"It's going to be harder in the rain too." Tai added, "Everything's going to be slippery and the ground's going to be muddy."
"I hope he saves it for the end of the day, maybe the rain will let up by then." Hennix said.
"No way, I want to get it over as soon as possible. It's exhausting." Voe complained.
Amaya looked across the table at Ben, who had stayed silent up until now. The others continued to talk animatedly about the training course but Ben was clearly not listening. He stared at his food, picking away at it disinterestedly.
"Did you sleep well?" Amaya asked him.
Ben looked up at her, the answer to her question evident from the circles under his eyes. "Yes." He replied, "Did you?"
Amaya shrugged, "I did." She said, "I'm just exhausted from the travel here."
Ben nodded, and Amaya bit her lip. "You know this fruit reminds me of something we have on Alfazine." Amaya said, glancing at him. To her dismay, he acted as if he hadn't heard her, not even looking up.
"Amaya have you ever held a lightsaber before?" Voe asked, forcing Amaya to pull her attention away from Ben and back towards the rest of the group.
Amaya felt a sudden wave of hatred rise within her for the girl in front of her. What was her problem? Why was she intent upon making Ben feel bad about everything he did? Wasn't she supposed to be his friend?
"No." Amaya replied shortly, fighting to hide her anger from the others.
"I wonder what colour yours will be." Voe continued on, thankfully oblivious to Amaya's suppressed hatred of her. "Do you know what the colours mean?"
"No." Amaya replied once more.
"Green means you're connected to the Force on a more intellectual level. Blue means you interact with the Force on a more physical level. Mine is green, everyone else here has blue lightsabers." Voe explained and Amaya nodded.
"Will I even get a lightsaber though?" Amaya asked, "I might not even be allowed to stay. This is just a trial run."
Hennix shrugged, "I guess it would be a good way for Luke to understand how you interact with the Force better."
Ben stood up abruptly, picking up his plate. "I'm going to go down to the training room now. You can take your time though, Amaya. If you're not done eating, they can show you how to get downstairs."
"Oh, I'm done." Amaya lied, pushing away her plate and standing up.
"Are you sure?" Ben asked, looking at her half finished food skeptically.
"You should really eat more, you'll need it." Voe said. Amaya felt her resolve to not finish her breakfast intensify tenfold with this comment and shook her head.
"I'm full. Really." She said, "I'll come with you." She said to Ben.
Ben nodded, "Okay." He said simply, picking up his plate and walking over to give it back to the man at the serving counter. Amaya followed him, hearing the others get up to do the same behind her. Ben waited for them near the entrance to the mess hall and together they walked down to the training room, Voe and Hennix chattering about fighting techniques Amaya had never heard about. Amaya, Ben, and Tai walked in silence, a heaviness in the air that Voe and Hennix seemed oblivious to.
The basement training room they entered was smaller than the one upstairs but had more shelves full of different kinds of training material. Amaya watched as the four padawans went to the shelves, picking out four wooden staffs.
"Here." Hennix said, handing her a wooden staff. "We use these instead of lightsabers most days because they're safer."
Amaya took the stick, holding it up awkwardly. "Hold it like this." Voe said, demonstrating with her own stick.
Amaya adjusted her hands to mirror Voe's, "Like this?" She asked.
Voe nodded, "Exactly. Now bring your elbows up. You want them to be at a right angle."
Amaya lifted her elbows, looking around at the others. Ben and Tai had started to fight and Amaya unconsciously let her arms lower as she watched, mesmerized by the speed and fluidity at which they moved. It was terrifying. A beautiful deadly dance that left Amaya feeling short of breath.
"It's amazing isn't it." Hennix said, noticing her expression.
"You should see it with real lightsabers." Voe added, grinning.
"Where's Master Luke?" Amaya asked after a moment, realizing he was absent.
"He's teaching the younger padawans. He'll be down in about an hour. We usually spend the first hour practicing and warming up." Hennix replied, "Today, we can teach you." He added, smiling.
Amaya laughed, shaking her head, "You don't have to do that."
"We want to." Voe said, lifting her staff. "Try to block me."
Amaya's eyes widened in fear as she stared at Voe but she lifted her staff anyway, waiting for Voe to make her move. "Elbows up." Voe reminded her and Amaya lifted her elbows just as Voe moved to strike. Surprised, Amaya failed to stop her and Voe's staff hit her gently in the stomach.
"Don't get distracted." Voe said, laughing and Amaya gave her a withering look.
"When you block someone it should be like this." Hennix said, drawing her attention towards him.
Amaya attempted to imitate his posture and he dropped his own staff and moved to adjust her position. "Yes, like that." He said.
"Let's do slow motion." Voe suggested, raising her staff slowly and then slowly moving it towards Amaya. Amaya slowly brought up her own staff, placing it in the position Hennix had shown her in time to block Voe's staff.
"Good!" Hennix cried, and Amaya laughed.
The hour flew by and before she knew it she had learned three different ways to block an attack and two different ways to initiate an attack. Voe and Hennix, as it turned out, were excellent teachers, and Amaya felt her anger towards Voe evaporate as the time went on.
"Excellent!" Amaya heard someone cry as she blocked three attacks from Hennix in a row. Amaya spun around to find Luke in the doorway, applauding.
"You're a quick learner." He said, and Amaya felt her cheeks burn in embarrassment.
"They," Amaya said, gesturing to Voe and Hennix, "Are excellent teachers."
"Well they should be." He said, grinning, "They learned from the best."
Amaya, Voe and Hennix laughed, as Ben and Tai came over to join them, both looking exhausted.
"Now that we're all warmed up, I think we should go upstairs and work on levitation and manipulation. We'll run the course after lunch." Luke said, gesturing for the small group to follow him.
They climbed the stairs in silence, the usual chatter of the padawans subdued by the presence of their teacher. Coming out into the larger upstairs training room, Luke turned to look at Ben.
"Ben, you take Amaya over there," He said, pointing to the far left side of the room, "Test her abilities since I understand this is an area she has some experience in. Tai, Hennix, and Voe, come with me." Luke said, leading the other three off to the right.
Amaya looked over at Ben, trying and failing to make eye contact with him. Well this should be fun, she thought bitterly. They had gotten along fine yesterday. What was wrong with him today? Was his bad mood really because of Voe? Or was there more to it?
"So what do you want to test me on?" She asked as they walked.
"Pick that up." Ben said, pointing towards a heavy metal chain curled up in the corner of the room. Amaya nodded, lifting her hand and using the Force to levitate it.
"Stretch it out." Ben said and Amaya did as she was told, straightening the chain into a long line.
"Now curl it into a ball." Ben said. Amaya obliged, following his instructions as he got her to move the heavy chain through the air into countless different positions. After five minutes she began to feel her strength dwindle and her hands began to shake from the force of keeping the chain afloat. She breathed deeply, trying to forget the pain.
"Okay you can put it down." Ben said at last and Amaya felt a wave of relief rush over her as she finally deposited it back in the corner. She took a seat, panting as she struggled to recover from the physically exhausting exercise.
"You're good but you're weak." Ben said, coming to stand in front of her, "Your technique is sloppy too."
"That's because I never learned any technique." Amaya said, pushing a stray strand of black hair out of her eye.
Ben made no reply, his mind clearly elsewhere. Not allowing her time to recover, Ben pointed to a small ball resting on a shelf. "Pick that up." He said, and Amaya nodded, standing up once more.
"Alright." She said, lifting her hand to make the ball levitate. The moment she did so, Ben responded in kind, extending his arm towards the ball. Amaya tried to pull the ball upwards only to be met by Ben's equally strong downward pull. The ball rolled over, not leaving the ground. Amaya inhaled deeply, feeling the Force wage a war against itself. She reached out, feeling the strength of Ben's power pushing the ball downwards. Suddenly, an idea occurred to her and Amaya changed tactics. She quickly changed her influence on the ball, forcing it sideways off the shelf instead of upwards. She felt Ben's surprise at her move and quickly pushed the ball upwards before he could recover. The trick paid off and the ball rose half a foot before being stopped by Ben again.
Ben glanced over at her and she smiled before returning her attention to the ball and doubling her concentration. She tried to pull the ball sideways again, only to be stopped by Ben this time. The ball didn't so much as budge and Amaya bit her lip, trying to think of a way around this impasse. She wasn't used to her manipulation of the Force being met by another. For the past four years, when she had tried to control the Force she had had no one to oppose her will. Now, it seemed no matter how hard she willed the ball upwards, Ben was capable of willing it just as effectively downwards.
She reached out, feeling the Force swirl around the ball, pulling it in opposite directions. Without letting go of her upwards pull on the ball, she focused part of her attention on the downwards pull, attempting to reverse it. She increased her concentration, begging the Force to listen to her, and felt a thrill as the Force responded, lessening the downwards pull slightly. The ball rose slightly and Amaya felt her heart beat increase with adrenaline. It was working!
"Go Amaya!" Voe cried from behind her, and Amaya felt a sudden shift in Ben's mood. His temper flared and with it Amaya felt a surge of power flow out of him towards the ball. Before she had time to react, the blast of power hit the ball, sending it crashing to the ground. Amaya jumped back, in shock, as both she and Ben let go of their control over the ball. Amaya stared in shock at the ball as it bounced in front of her before looking back up at Ben.
"I'm sorry, I distracted you!" Voe cried, and Amaya pretended to not hear her, staring at Ben instead.
"That was incredible." Amaya breathed, taken aback by the sheer display of power she had just witnessed. He had turned his anger into power, turning their even match into an easy victory.
Ben ignored her, staring at the ball as if it were a deadly snake. She stared at him in confusion, feeling waves of fear, regret, and hatred roll off of him. Amaya frowned, noticing that even his hands were shaking slightly.
"Ben, are you okay?" Amaya asked, at last. She had been wanting to ask this question since she'd met him. She'd restrained herself because he was a stranger and what was wrong with him was none of her business, but now she found she couldn't stop herself.
Ben froze, turning to give her a piercing look, "What makes you think I wouldn't be?" He asked, clearly fighting to keep his voice even.
Amaya bit her lip, already regretting having said anything. "Okay, just checking." She said, "What next?"
"It doesn't matter. You're not getting a spot in this temple anyway." Ben said, and Amaya felt her insides turn to ice. That was unwarranted.
"What's wrong with you?" Amaya asked, the ice inside her quickly turning to anger, "You were so pleasant yesterday."
"I'm just telling you the harsh truth because no one else will." Ben said viciously, "No one older than 14 has ever been admitted to this temple. Luke is just giving you this "trial run" because he feels bad. Voe is being nice to you because she's jealous Luke gave me the responsibility of looking after you and not her and Hennix is helping you because he's naïve enough to think you stand a chance."
Amaya felt the breath go out of her as his words cut through her like a knife. She swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat and forced herself to hold onto whatever self-control she could.
"Well thank you for being so honest with me." Amaya said coldly. "At least you won't have to put up with the burden of my presence for much longer."
Amaya turned, walking swiftly away from Ben, trying to stop her hands from shaking. No, she told herself, calm down.
"Amaya," Luke said, turning to smile at her as she approached, "I was just about to come tell you it's almost time for lunch." Amaya wondered whether he could sense her agitation and tried to smooth over her emotions as best she could.
"Perfect timing, we just finished." Amaya said, forcing a smile.
"Excellent," Luke said, "You and Ben can head down to the mess hall now if you like. The others will be down soon."
"Thank you." Amaya said, before making a beeline for the stairwell as fast as she could. She took the steps two at a time, increasing her pace when she heard Ben follow her down.
"Amaya, wait." He called out and Amaya ignored him, exiting the stairwell onto the dormitory floor. She took off nearly running, hearing Ben's footsteps behind her.
"Amaya, stop, I'm sorry!" Ben called out and Amaya froze in her tracks, her heart pounding. She turned to face him, struggling to keep her hands from shaking.
"Listen." Ben said as he approached her, "What I said up there was uncalled for. And for what it's worth I don't actually think you're a burden. I was trying to placate Voe. She was jealous Luke gave me the responsibility of taking care of you and so I tried to downplay it and it came out wrong. And then this morning, I know I probably should have waited for you. You probably didn't feel comfortable asking me to wait after I called you a burden so I should have-"
"Ben I wasn't offended at all by what you said last night." Amaya interrupted him, "Ask Voe. I tried to explain to her what you meant when we went upstairs. I wasn't afraid to ask you to wait for me. I genuinely wanted you to go on ahead because I would have felt pressured and guilty if I knew you were waiting outside for me. You've been nothing but good to me until...you know...five minutes ago."
Ben shook his head, "I shouldn't have said that."
"It's okay." Amaya said, feeling her anger melt, "Really. Forget about it."
"I can't." Ben said, "I took my anger at Voe out on you and that is not okay."
"Ben, seriously." Amaya said, with as much sincerity as she could muster, "It's fine. You were justified in being angry."
"Jedi aren't supposed to get angry." Ben said, shaking his head, and Amaya stared at him incredulously.
"What do you mean Jedi aren't supposed to get angry." She said, laughing, "You're human aren't you?"
Ben scoffed, "Jedi are supposed to be better than that. The moment you let anger or jealousy or fear in is the moment you're at risk of falling to the Dark Side."
Amaya frowned, utterly confused, "What's the Dark Side?"
"The Dark Side of the Force?" Ben said, looking surprised, "Your mother never told you about that?"
Amaya shook her head, "She never said anything about there being different sides to the Force. She always spoke of it as a single entity; something whole."
Ben made no reply, his expression pensive. "Do you want to go to lunch?" Amaya asked, "I'm starving."
Ben nodded, "Sure." He said, leading the way to the stairs.
"Wait so is there a Light Side?" Amaya asked, suddenly captivated by this strange new way of thinking.
Ben nodded, "Yes, the Jedi draw their power from the Light Side of the Force. They practice non-attachment and universal compassion. Have you heard of the Sith?"
Amaya shook her head, so Ben continued, "The Sith are also Force users but they draw their power from the Dark Side of the Force. They use their emotions and desires to give them strength."
"Like you did today." Amaya said, and Ben froze, turning to stare at her, "With the ball. You turned your anger into power. I felt it."
"That was a mistake." Ben said, "I don't normally do that."
"Well I think it was brilliant." Amaya said, and Ben frowned, looking at her as if she was crazy.
"It was wrong." Ben said, as they entered the mess hall.
"Why?" Amaya asked, as she they made their way over to the serving boy, and grabbed their food.
"Because it's not the Jedi way." Ben replied, looking seriously disconcerted.
"So the Jedi way is good and the Sith way is bad?" Amaya asked, as they took their seats at the same table they had sat at for breakfast.
"Yes." Ben said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Why are the Sith evil?" Amaya asked.
"Because all they care about is themselves. They just follow their own desires and ambitions and it always ends in chaos. The Emperor of the Galatic Empire was a Sith Lord named Darth Sidious. So was his apprentice, Darth Vader. Together they destroyed entire planets and millions of lives all to satisfy their own desire for power. That is what the Dark Side is." Ben explained, and Amaya nodded slowly.
"I see." Amaya said, falling silent as she tried to process this information. Something just didn't feel quite right about what Ben was saying.
"Is there anyone who uses both sides of the Force?" Amaya asked, and Ben looked at her in surprise.
"Not anymore." He said, "There was a Jedi who was known for using both sides of the Force back in the time before the Empire. He was killed though, by Darth Vader."
Amaya nodded, "I understand the problem with only using the Dark Side." She said slowly, trying to unravel her thoughts, "But I also question whether it's wise to only use the Light Side. Yes, it probably would be wonderful if we could overcome all of our petty desires and stop feeling anger and fear and jealousy and all of this...but is that really attainable? I would be highly surprised if anyone in this temple has succeeded in achieving this ideal."
Ben made no reply, eating his food in silence, his expression lost in thought. "Even if it isn't unattainable...and I'm not saying it's not" He said after a moment, "Isn't it better to try than to just give in to the Dark Side?"
"Why not use both sides of the Force?" Amaya countered.
"Because it's hard." Ben said, nodding suddenly, as if he had figured something out, "Because the moment you accept the Dark Side, even just a little, you're at risk of being consumed by it. The only way to stay on the Light Side of the Force is to shut out the Dark Side altogether."
Amaya looked up, hearing Voe, Hennix and Tai approaching.
"Anyway, don't repeat any of this in front of Master Luke." Ben whispered urgently as the others approached, "He'll never let you in if he thinks you might fall to the Dark Side."
Amaya frowned, but nodded, just as the others arrived, taking seats next to her and Ben.
"Amaya you were amazing!" Voe exclaimed as she sat down. "You were winning against Ben. I can't even do that."
Amaya blushed, embarrassed by the praise and scrambled to think of ways to change the focus of the conversation. "What did you guys do with Master Luke?"
"Oh the usual." Voe replied, dismissively, "We're supposed to run the course after lunch though so prepare to be soaked." She said, "You don't have to run it though, Amaya." She added, "Master Luke said just to watch for today."
Amaya nodded, somewhat relieved. She had no desire to attempt what appeared to be an incredibly challenging obstacle course even for the temple's most advanced padawans.
"So Amaya, where are you from anyway?" Voe asked.
"Alfazine." Amaya replied, unconsciously glancing across the table at Ben as she did so. "What about you? How did you end up here?"
"I'm from Atterra Bravo." Voe replied, "My parents are tapestry vendors. When I was a child, I used to use Jedi mind tricks - not knowing, of course, that that was what they were - to convince people to buy the tapestries. I tried this on Master Luke and, obviously, it didn't work, but it did make him very interested in me. He tried to explain to my parents that he wanted to take me to an academy for Force-sensitive children, which didn't mean much to them since neither of them are Force-sensitive. They agreed to send me away with him if he paid them 3 month's food. He's still supporting them to this day."
"So they sold you?" Amaya asked, taken aback.
"Well kind of." Voe said indifferently, "I'm the 6th out of 9 children. It was either send me off with Master Luke and make enough money to feed the others or risk one of their children dying from starvation. Plus, they thought Master Luke seemed trustworthy enough to believe him when he said he intended to educate me and not sell me into slavery."
Amaya nodded, her perception of Voe changing once again. Just when she thought she had the girl figured out she revealed another part of herself that was wholly incompatible with Amaya's previous understanding of her.
"And what about you two?" Amaya asked, looking over at Hennix and Tai. "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Mon Cala." Hennix said, "My parents were fishermen and my mom was a Force-sensitive. When Master Luke came to our planet looking to recruit new padawans she felt it immediately and brought me half way across the planet to find him. She'd always wanted to be a Jedi but, of course, she grew up during the time of the Empire when there weren't any."
"And I'm from Serenno", Tai added after a pause, "My father's a friend of Master Luke's. He fought in the Rebellion with him. That's how he found me."
"You never said how you found this temple." Voe said, turning the attention back onto Amaya. "What brought you here?"
Amaya hesitated, wondering just how much of her past she wanted to divulge. "Well a friend of mine told me about the temple." Amaya began tentatively, "He helped me find a map and ship to get here."
"How do you know so much about the Force already?" Tai asked and Amaya turned to him surprised. He'd barely spoken to her since her arrival, but now he was listening to her intently.
"My mother taught me." She said, glancing once more at Ben who had been listening to the entire conversation in silence, "She wasn't a Jedi but she did know how to use the Force to a certain extent."
"She must be happy you're here now." Voe said and Amaya shook her head.
"She died four years ago." Amaya said, "But yes, she would have been happy about me being here...I think." She added, thinking back to her and Ben's previous conversation about the Light and Dark sides of the Force. Would her mother have approved of this Jedi philosophy? Somehow, Amaya didn't think she would have.
"I'm sorry." Voe said, and Hennix nodded in agreement.
"It's okay." Amaya said, hating the way the room fell silent every time she spoke of her mother's death.
"What were you doing before you came here?" Ben asked suddenly, drawing the others' attention towards him. "You said you left the island you grew up on after your mother died. Where did you go?"
"I worked in an orphanage for a few years." Amaya replied, "Then the war started. Alfazine is divided into three kingdoms all owned by different members of the same ruling family. My home kingdom went to war against the neighbouring kingdom of Rhuain. I spent most of the war in a bunker after the orphanage was bombed. Only myself and a few of the children survived the bombing. We were in the market buying food when the building was hit."
The table was deadly silent now, as the four padawans stared at her in shocked silence. This was the reaction she had hoped to avoid. Amaya sighed, taking the last bite of her food before pushing away her empty plate.