Thanks again for the review Love. Fiction. 2020!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Amaya lay on her bed upsides down, starting at the lightsaber in her hands. She could feel it pulsating in front of her, disrupting the Force around her. The purple light was mesmerizing; like staring into a stream of water.
Amaya jumped when a knock sounded on her door and she quickly put away her lightsaber. She grabbed her keys, opening the door to see Ben, as expected.
"You're late." She said, as they walked down to breakfast.
"I lost track of time." Ben replied and Amaya raised an eyebrow skeptically.
"Talking to someone or...?" Amaya prodded and Ben shrugged.
"Why do you care?" He asked, somewhat defensively.
"Because I don't like what he says to you." Amaya said, shaking her head. "He twists everything."
"He doesn't lie." Ben said. "Maybe he presents the perspective that's most beneficial to him but it's always a valid perspective."
Amaya stopped walking suddenly pointing at the stairwell in front of them. "I could tell you that stairs have caused the deaths of millions of people across the galaxy and it would be true. I could then tell you that since Master Luke installed a stairwell he's willing to risk us dying from falling down the stairs. That's also technically true since it is a risk...but by framing it the way I did, it makes it seem as if Master Luke doesn't care about our safety because he installed stairs when really, the chance of us dying on these stairs is so small in comparison to the benefits of having multiple stories in this building that Master Luke's intention was not to risk our lives but to help us."
"That's what Snoke does." Amaya said, continuing down the stairs.
Ben followed her in silence and Amaya could tell he was thinking about what she'd said.
You really do think you're clever, don't you. Snoke's voice rang in Amaya's ear and she involuntarily gripped the railing tighter.
"Speak of the devil." Amaya said to Ben and his eyes widened.
Where have you been? Amaya asked. You haven't spoken to me in days. Are you getting bored of tormenting me?
Did you miss me? Snoke asked and Amaya rolled her eyes, drawing a confused look from Ben.
When are you going to set up the meeting? Amaya asked.
I'm getting the feeling I'm being used. Snoke mocked. Here I was, thinking you were actually missing me when really-
Answer the question, Snoke. Amaya said with a sigh.
You hurt me, Amaya. Snoke sneered and Amaya closed her eyes, trying to retain her patience.
How does tomorrow sound? Snoke said and Amaya nearly lost her footing on the steps.
Where? Amaya asked. I can't just leave the Temple, how am I supposed to come up with an excuse with one day's notice?
Tomorrow is a rest day, or so Ben tells me. Snoke pointed out. Which means you have the day free. Tell your master you want to go back to Alfazine to get a few things.
Amaya's stomach twisted painfully. Alfazine?
Of course. Snoke replied. Your brother wants to see where you grew up. He'll be there by 2 standard time.
"What's he saying?" Ben asked, noticing the expression on Amaya's face.
Tell him I'll be there. Amaya said, putting up a finger to tell Ben to wait.
That's it? No thank you? Snoke sneered.
If you didn't benefit from this somehow you wouldn't have done it so I don't think I owe you anything. Amaya snapped back. Now I'm entering the meal hall so I'm going to ignore you if you don't go away.
We'll talk soon. Snoke said before Amaya felt his presence dissipate and she sighed in relief.
"What is it?" Ben asked under his breath as they entered the meal hall.
"I'm meeting my brother on my home island tomorrow at 2 standard." Amaya whispered back.
"How?" Ben asked. "You're a terrible pilot and you don't own a ship."
"Can you fly me?" Amaya asked, and Ben nodded.
"We'll figure it out later." He said as they approached Voe, Tai and Hennix at the usual table.
Amaya watched as they approached her home planet and felt a lump rise in her throat. She scanned the ocean, trying to gauge how far out the island was from the shore.
"To the left." Amaya told Ben. "Wait, no not that far."
"How far?" Ben asked irritably.
"There!" Amaya cried, pointing down at the water below. "That tiny speck."
"I can't see anything." Ben replied.
"Just keep going down." Amaya said, becoming more and more on edge the closer they got.
"I don't understand why you didn't just get the coordinates for this place." Ben said, annoyed. "I still don't-oh, that?"
"Yes!" Amaya cried, subconsciously gripping his chair as he lowered the ship towards the island.
"Yes, that's it." Amaya repeated, pacing now. "We found it."
"Amaya." Ben said, reaching out to grab her arm even as he flew the ship. "Sit down." He said gently.
Amaya sighed, taking a seat next to him as the ship approached the island. She could see her house now. The abandoned garden was overgrown with weeds and the stone pathway leading up to the front door was cracked and covered in moss.
Amaya felt tears prick at her eyes and her breath caught in her throat when Ben reached out, grabbing her hand this time. She looked at him in surprise, suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious, but tightened her grip on his hand. It was warm and comforting and she didn't want him to take it back.
They landed on the beach outside the house, neither one speaking as the engines shut down and silence filled the ship.
"He's not here yet." Ben said, looking over at her. "It's not too late to call it off."
Amaya shook her head immediately. "No. I want to do this." She said, standing up suddenly.
She let Ben's hand slip out of hers as she walked over to the ship's door and opened it. The heat was suffocating, just as it had been when she'd left.
Amaya stepped out onto the beach, staring up at the house in front of her. It was just as she remembered aside from the extra vines that wound their way around the front of the stone house.
"You okay?" Ben asked, coming to stand next to her. He squinted his eyes as he looked up at the house, the sunlight blinding him.
"Come." Amaya said, gesturing for him to follow her. "I'll show you the inside."
Ben followed her up the path and Amaya stopped in front of the blue door. This was the second time in less than a week that she'd seen this door...it was a little bit much and yet she couldn't bring herself to turn away. She tried the handle, half expecting it to be locked. Of course, it wasn't - they'd never even had any need to install a lock - and the door opened with a screech.
Amaya felt her breath catch in her throat as she walked into the house, a flood of memories rushing back. Her and her mother's sandals were still on the rack where they'd left them and the paintings Amaya had made when she was a child were still on the walls. Amaya walked into the kitchen, freezing when she saw the state it was in. Two plates were still on the table, holding partially decomposed food. A basket of what used to be bread sat in the middle of the table, covered by a blanket, and the sink was still full of unwashed dishes.
It was as if they'd just gotten up and left one day...and of course, that was exactly what had happened.
"Amaya?" Ben asked quietly, and Amaya didn't need the Force to know what he was wondering. She'd never told him how her mother had died, or even how she'd left the island... She'd meant to, at some point, but it had never seemed like a good time.
The sound of an approaching ship jolted Amaya out of her reverie and she walked over to the window, watching the ship land on the beach.
"He's here." She breathed, turning back to Ben with wide eyes.
"Do you want me to stay?" Ben asked. "Should I go back to the ship?"
"Stay." Amaya said quickly, walking back over to the front door and pulling it open. She looked back at Ben, to make sure he was following, before going back out into the searing heat.
Amaya stopped on the front porch of the house, watching as a man with dark brown hair exited the ship, the hilt of a lightsaber at his side. Amaya swallowed, discreetly running her fingers along the handle of her own lightsaber. Ben inched closer to her and Amaya could feel the tension rolling off him through the Force.
The man stopped when he saw them, his face breaking into a pirate's smile. "So this is it." He said, looking around himself before turning his gaze back to Amaya and Ben. "This is where you've been hiding all these years."
Amaya swallowed, rooted to the spot and suddenly mute. She watched in terror as her brother approached.
"It's beautiful. Looks incredibly boring...but definitely beautiful." He continued.
Ancai paused, looking pointedly at Ben. "So you brought your boyfriend for protection, did you?" He sneered.
"He's not my boyfriend." Amaya snapped, finally finding her voice. "Jedi aren't allowed to-"
"Oh I know." Ancai said. "Jedi aren't allowed to love. Don't worry I'll keep your little secret."
"Jedi are allowed to love. They just can't become attached." Amaya said, taking a step towards her brother.
"Right, because one is possible without the other." Ancai replied sarcastically. "But don't worry. You're not a...how shall I say it...typical Jedi, are you Ben Solo?"
"And clearly, seeing as you're here, you're not a typical Knight of Ren." Ben replied scathingly as Amaya tried to maintain her cool.
Ancai raised an eyebrow. "The Knights of Ren do what they want, when they want." He said slowly. "I wanted to meet my estranged sister. So, I did."
"Why?" Amaya asked, bristling with annoyance. She walked down the steps until she was right in front of him.
Ancai looked at her, and Amaya thought she could see just the smallest hint of uncertainty beneath his smirk. "Why what?" He asked.
"Why did you want to meet me?" She snapped.
Ancai shrugged. "Why shouldn't I?" He asked.
"You don't know me." Amaya said coldly. "Just because we're related doesn't mean we're family."
"Doesn't it?" Ancai asked, and Amaya eyed him closely, examining his face. He looked like her; there was no denying it.
"No. It doesn't." Ben said, coming down the steps to stand next to Amaya.
"Speaking from experience?" Ancai sneered.
Before Ben could open his mouth to respond, Amaya lifted her hand, sending Ancai flying backwards. He landed in the sand a few metres from where he'd been standing and Amaya stared at her hand, shocked. She exchanged a look with Ben as Ancai struggled to his feet, covered in sand. She could still feel her anger coursing through her veins, so mixed with Ben's she wasn't sure where hers began and his ended. All she knew was that the man in front of her was as despicable as she'd always assumed him to be. Perhaps it had been a mistake coming here. Universal compassion may be the Jedi way, but she wasn't sure if it was her way.
"Give me one reason why I should listen to a thing you have to say." Amaya snarled, walking over to where her brother was dusting the sand off his clothes. "All I know about you indicates I shouldn't even be here talking to you in the first place. You grew up with everything but you didn't care. You let everyone else starve around you. I lived on the street because I didn't want to do the same. I could have come to you and our dad but I wanted nothing to do with either of you. I almost died in a bombing while your palace remained untouched. I ate sewer rats and got sick from dirty water while you had your fancy feasts in your fancy meal halls."
Amaya paused to breathe before continuing her rant. "But then, as if none of that was enough, you left that life to go become what? A Knight of Ren? You got bored with all the riches of Alfazine, so you thought you'd go out and pillage the rest of the galaxy too? How many people have you killed? How many lives have you ruined? You lure my friends into a trap just to get a message to me, two of them almost die, and then you come here and insult Ben - the very person who helped to arrange this meeting in the first place. And then after all that, you come here expecting me to what? Welcome you with open arms?"
Amaya stared at him, her face flushed with fury, and he stared back, an unreadable expression on his face. "So, I ask you again." Amaya said, more calmly this time. "Give me one reason why I should listen to a thing you have to say."
Ancai made no reply, staring past Amaya at the sea around the island. A heavy silence fell over the island and Amaya's mind wandered back to the image of her mother she'd seen in the cave. Her words came back to Amaya, cooling the anger inside her.
He's a good boy. Don't judge him too quickly.
"I can't." Ancai said after a moment, finally meeting her eyes. "When you put it that way, there is absolutely no reason why you should listen to what I have to say."
Amaya deflated slightly, realizing she had been subconsciously hoping he'd come up with a reason. Here was her one chance to have a family again and she just couldn't find a logical reason why she shouldn't hop back on the ship with Ben and leave.
Remembering something, Amaya rummaged in her pocket, pulling out her mother's locket. She handed it to Ancai, watching as he opened it and looked down at the photos of the two of them inside.
"Mom wore it every day. She never took it off. Not even to shower or sleep." Amaya said, tears pricking at her eyes. She swallowed thickly, trying to compose herself.
A look Amaya could only describe as sadness passed over Ancai's face before he closed the locket and handed it back to her. "You look the same." He said.
Amaya frowned in confusion before realizing he was joking. "Keep it." She said, holding it back out to him. "You gave me the one of our parents, so keep this one."
Ancai shook his head and so Amaya reached out and grabbed his hand, shoving the locket into his open palm and closing his fingers around it before promptly letting go again. A look of surprise filled Ancai's face and Amaya raised an eyebrow, daring him to say something.
Instead, Ancai pocketed the locket in silence.
"Do you want to go for a walk?" Amaya asked, suddenly remembering all the questions she had wanted to ask him.
Another look of surprise filled Ancai's face and he glanced over Amaya's shoulder at Ben. "Your boyfriend looks like he's not used to this kind of heat-"
Amaya smacked him on the arm and Ancai yelped in pain. "He's not my boyfriend." She snapped and Ancai began to smirk. Amaya rolled her eyes, turning to look back at Ben. He was standing by the deck, watching the entire scene with an expression of deep distrust.
"Ben." Amaya said, walking over to him. "Do you want to go wait in the ship or the house where it's cooler?"
Are you sure it's safe to be alone with him? Ben asked her telepathically.
Well you'll know if anything happens. Amaya replied. Even without their newfound ability to communicate telepathically, she doubted either would be able to ignore the disturbances in the Force if either was in danger.
"Okay well then how long do you think you'll be?" Ben asked out loud.
Amaya looked back at Ancai, unsure. "I don't know. You can leave if you want to-"
"Absolutely not." Ben said quickly, his eyes hardening as he looked at Ancai.
"Okay." Amaya said, nodding. "Thank you."
Ben nodded, turning to walk back to the ship. Amaya watched him go before turning back to Ancai.
"He's so protective of you." Ancai said and Amaya resisted the urge to slap him again.
"Yes, well, you don't exactly have the best reputation." Amaya said, turning to walk along the beach.
Ancai followed her, still looking amused. Amaya, for one, didn't understand what was so funny.
"What's our dad like?" Amaya asked after a moment, blurting out the first question that had popped into her head.
Ancai snorted. "Just count yourself lucky you never had to know him." Ancai sneered. "He has to be in charge of everything. He's incredibly anal about everything - nothing satisfies him. He wants everything to be perfect and when it's not he throws a fit and blames anyone he can pin it on."
"Sounds charming." Amaya replied. "No wonder mom ran away."
"Apparently he was a lot more relaxed before she left actually." Ancai said. "I don't remember this but legend has it he wasn't always this psychotic. I'm not sure if I can bring myself to believe that though."
"Do you still...see him?" Amaya asked, unsure how to phrase the question.
"Oh absolutely not." Ancai said quickly. "I haven't been home in 7 years. I'm mainly just waiting for him to die so I can inherit all the money he's hoarding."
Amaya raised an eyebrow, turning to look at him. "So then what have you been doing these past 7 years?" Amaya asked. "Have you been with the Knights of Ren the entire time?"
"What is this?" Ancai sneered. "An interrogation? What about you? Where have you been and why were you eating sewer rats?"
Amaya shrugged. "I was working in an orphanage until someone dropped a bomb on it. Then I lived in a bunker for a few years. Then I joined the rebellion. They sent me off to train with Master Luke and now here I am. Your turn."
"Wait no." Ancai said, holding out a hand. "You lived in a bunker?"
"I was lucky I was able to find one." Amaya said. "It was better than being on the surface."
Ancai shook his head. "I didn't even know there was a war until last month. I've been ignoring this shit hole as much as possible."
"Evidently." Amaya muttered, annoyed at his lack of compassion for their shared home. "But now it's your turn." Amaya said. "What have you been doing since you left Alfazine?"
"What was mom like?" Ancai asked and Amaya gave him a pointed look.
"Answer my question first." She said. "Then I'll tell you."
Ancai snorted. "You won't like it."
"I didn't expect to." Amaya said, raising an eyebrow.
Ancai laughed humorlessly. "I started out gambling because I could always win." Ancai said, "I could just tell through the Force whether people were lying."
Ancai smiled almost nostalgically before continuing. "There was this one woman who would always hang out around the casinos on Toros and I noticed she was watching me. She'd follow me around, pretending to talk to other people, but always watching me. I thought maybe she liked me so I bought her a drink."
"Let me guess...she didn't like you." Amaya sneered, causing Ancai to laugh.
"She'd guessed - correctly - that I was Force-sensitive. She wanted me to help her steal crystals from Ilum and sell them on the black market. So I did." Ancai said, shrugging. "It paid well and it was relatively low-risk."
"So then what happened?" Amaya asked.
"We got caught." Ancai said. "Not by the New Republic but by the Knights of Ren. They discovered we'd been stealing the crystals and making a profit off of it and so they captured our ships just as we were leaving Ilum and killed just about everyone except myself and a few others. When they found out I was Force-sensitive, they gave me an option: kill my other teammates and join the Knights of Ren or die with them. So, naturally, I chose the first option."
"Naturally." Amaya repeated sarcastically under her breath.
"Well they were going to die anyway." Ancai said with a shrug.
"So then you've just been with the Knights of Ren since then?" Amaya asked. "Doing what, exactly?"
Ancai snorted. "Wouldn't you like to know." He sneered and Amaya frowned. "I'm not about to tell a Jedi what we do."
"I'm not a Jedi." Amaya said. "Not yet, anyway."
Ancai rolled his eyes. "It's your turn." He said. "Tell me what it was like growing up in this fancy jail cell."
Amaya looked up at the house, gesturing for him to follow her. She hadn't even had a chance to go upstairs yet. "Mom had this house built before she ran away." Amaya said as they walked back up to the front porch. "She had everything imported and placed here, ready for her, before she left. Every month, we'd get a new shipment of supplies - mostly food but sometimes there would be toys and household items and books and stuff like that."
"I know." Ancai said as they entered the house. "That's how we found her. Someone cracked under interrogation when they were asked why their ship was taking an extra 2 days to reach their destination every month. I'm surprised she remained hidden as long as she did."
"Her brother had everyone involved terrified of being executed if they broke confidentiality." Amaya replied, watching as Ancai walked around the house, picking up photographs and putting them down again.
"Did you make all of these?" Ancai asked, looking at the framed chidlren's drawings on walls and Amaya nodded.
"Why did she frame them?" Ancai asked, an edge to his voice and Amaya shrugged.
"She thought they were cute?" She suggested disinterestedly, before turning away. Amaya walked towards the stairs, eager to see her old bedroom, when she realized Ancai wasn't following. She turned back to find him still staring at her old drawings.
"Do you want to see the upstairs?" Amaya asked.
Ancai was silent for a moment before dragging his attention away from the drawings. He made no reply, following her in silence as she walked up the stairs. Amaya felt her heart beat begin to race as she approached her room. Pushing open the door, she breathed in the familiar scent of her room that was only mildly tainted by the staleness of having been untouched for so long. Amaya felt tears threaten to spill once more and she tried desperately to compose herself. She would not cry in front of Ancai.
Deciding it would be best if she left the room, Amaya walked down the hallway to her mother's room. She pushed open the door to find Ancai already inside. He was looking out the window, his back to her.
The room was in a similar state to the kitchen downstairs. The bed was unmade, clothes were strewn all over the place, and the rug lay crumpled at the foot of the bed. Amaya smiled nostalgically as she tried to think of a think her mother's room hadn't been this messy.
Amaya walked over to the bed, taking a seat on it, as memories came flooding back. She looked over at Ancai, suddenly wanting to share every story and every memory with him. She'd always avoided talking about her time on this island...but now, she found she wanted to relive it all over again.
"Do you see how messy she was." Amaya said, half laughing, as she stood up. She walked over to Ancai, expecting him to laugh or respond with some kind of sharp-tongued comment. Instead, he turned away quickly, walking away from her and Amaya frowned in confusion.
"Ancai?" Amaya asked, but he didn't respond. He left the room and Amaya felt alarm course through her. She followed him out, nearly running to catch up with him as he descended the stairs two at a time.
"Ancai!" Amaya called out, grabbing his arm as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Where are you-"
Amaya's question died on her lips as she saw that his eyes were red and puffy, as if he'd been crying. He pulled his arm out of her grasp roughly, his face hardening.
"I'm leaving." He said, continuing towards the door.
Amaya opened her mouth to protest and then closed it again, at a loss for words. After a moment's hesitation, she followed him out of the house, watching from the porch as he walked over to his ship and opened the door. A part of her wanted to run after him and demand to know what was wrong but another part of her kept her rooted to the spot, unwilling to debase herself to that point. He was leaving her with no explanation. If he was upset about something he'd seen or she'd said well then that was what he deserved.
Still, the other part of Amaya felt her heart break and she reached out through the Force, feeling the darkness swirl around her. She found Ancai's Force signature and concentrated on it as hard as she could.
Write to me. Amaya said, feeling his surprise and alarm at her sudden intrusion into his mind.
How are you- Ancai thought back.
Just do it. Amaya said, severing the connection and forcing herself to breathe as she clung to the porch railing.
You messed up, mom. Amaya thought to herself as she watched Ancai's ship leave and Ben opened the door to their own ship, looking up at her expectantly. You messed up.