I am so sorry about not getting this up on time. I have been dealing with all sorts of personal shit and I've been unable to feel motivated to write. However, seeing all the support you guys have for this story has made me incredibly happy. I wrote this chapter and then re-wrote it more than five times. I finally came to a version that I like though, so Hooray! And also, thank you so much to all of the likes and favorites (96 favorites and 130 follows!). If not for you guys (and a certain darkwolf76) I would have just given this story up.
Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing but my OC, My OC's house, My OC's bird, and my OC's handmaiden.
1st P.O.V. Winterfell
I was blinded by the light.
All of the chattering, footsteps, and music seized when Lord Stark and I entered the room.
Blinking a couple times, my eyes adjusted to the sight in front of me.
It seemed all of everyone's hard work paid off, because everything was beautiful.
There were silver candelabras holding tall white candle sticks, each placed on every table. The chandelier in the middle of the room was lit up.
Throughout the hall, green wreath garlands with white flowers and different sized glass bulbs were elegantly strewn across the balconies, walls, and were wrapped around every pillar. Each table had on two tablecloths, a white one on the bottom and a red one on the top. The chairs had huge ribbons tied to them, and every table had beautiful plates with decorative designs on it.
Every table, asides from the long rectangular high table, was circular. The tables were pushed to the sides of the room, making a huge space in the middle of the hall for dancing. There was an empty one behind the high table to put down presents, which was overflowing with them. Above the high table each banner from every house in attendance was hung.
Pushed to the walls on the left side of the room were long rectangular tables with all the food that we prepared, waiting to be eaten.
Earlier this evening, I made time to get some food to both Arya and Bran. Arya was...mad to say the least. She couldn't attend and was pouting the entire time. Bran, however, was a bit more good-natured about it. He smiled and said 'Thanks!' for his food, but I could tell he was hiding his disappointment about being unable to come to the party.
Digging my fingers into Lord Stark's arm, we silently made our way to the rest of the Stark family, where Lord Stark took me to the middle of the high table.
To my left, sat Sansa (who was very beautiful in her light pink gown with silver embroidery) at the end of the table, then My Lady. To my right, sat Robb at the end of the table, with Lord Stark's empty chair right next to mine.
I gulped as I eyed all the people in the room.
When I was little, I hated being called low-born. Nothing was more insulting to me. That term made me feel like the Starks' wanted nothing to do with me. But now staring into a sea of the people who made up the few that is the upper class, I couldn't help but feel that the term low-born accurately described me. I felt like a fish out of water, like prey surrounded by predator. One look at all of these people and I knew that I would never be one of them.
However, that didn't mean that I could not try.
I had to address all the people in the room.
All. The. People.
My dark crimson eyes shot to Robb in a panic. He gave me a small smile and mouthed "Go on." Looking around the room for a familiar, or at least friendly face, I saw a pair of people who looked at me with kind eyes.
One had on a familiar blue dress. Ros' mop of red hair was tied up with the thin silver rope that I wrapped her dress up in. Standing next to her was Theon.
Ros gave me a sympathetic look, while Theon regarded me with much firmness. The Kraken and I exchanged a look. Ever so subtly, I shook my head, as if to protest me speaking out to these people. Ros saw this and gave me wink, as if to say 'You Can Do It!' My terrified gaze shifted back to the crowd and then to Theon. I felt myself shaking at the thought of speaking to all of these people. Theon, sensing my fear, left Ros' side to take several steps forward. He pushed through the crowd to stand near the front.
My mouth felt dry, opening and closing several times, yet no words of greeting came out.
I heard people murmuring around me.
Starting to feel like a failure, I was about to run right out of there when I saw him.
He was standing near the back, his arms crossed over his chest, his black head down.
He was dressed in his nicest clothes, though he looked like he wanted to be anywhere but here.
His face was cleanly shaven and his hair was slicked back.
His obvious disdain though didn't change the one fact that gave me hope above all else: Jon Snow was here.
Noticing everyone's quiet whispers, he held up his head and his Stark grey eyes met mine.
And in that moment, despite all of the heartache that he caused me, it was only us.
We were the only two in the Great Hall, because everyone else didn't exist.
I cleared my throat and made a clear greeting as if it were only for him.
"I want to say thank you to all who accepted the invitation for this time of celebration. I thank the Old Gods and the New that you have made it here, safe and sound. I appreciate the effort that you made to journey to Winterfell. I hope you all have a nice time. Enjoy the food, dance to the music, and be merry."
I felt my body deflate with relief. It wasn't so horrible...
Jon's eyes left mine and went back to looking at the floor.
I felt a zap go through me when he broke off our connection, a bitter reminder that he no longer wanted anything to do with me. A thunderous applause went around the room.
Scooting back my chair for me, Lord Stark had me sit and he pushed my chair in.
I looked towards the musicians and nodded. They picked up their instruments and started to play as everyone went to grab some food.
A familiar looking man came up to us and loudly boomed, "Isn't that the same girl that came to my castle as a child?! What a beautiful Northern Rose she turned out to be."
The tall man had shoulder-length white hair, a clean shaven face, with an imposing bulky stature. I gave him a wide smile as he walked up to the high table, reaching over to grab my injured hand and kiss it.
"Lord Manderly, it's been ages! How have you been?"
Lord Manderly let out a loud chuckle as he stepped back. "I have been good, My Lady, as has White Harbor." His voice was playful as he said 'My Lady', and even though it felt unfamiliar (like my surname whenever I was introduced) it didn't seem too bad. At least, not when Lord Manderly said it.
I gestured towards the table of delicacies that everyone was clamoring towards, since most of the servants were still sick. "Please, My Lord, help yourself to anything."
He grinned and nodded towards both Robb and I. "I'm surprised that you aren't getting some food. Did you both grow out of eating contests?"
Robb turned our way. "Aye, we still eat. And Ophelia here still has a massive appetite, but we can't let others know, lest they might horde all the food for themselves." The Heir of Winterfell answered cheekily.
I went red and laughed, as did Lord Manderly. He crossed his heart. "I won't tell a soul."
He leaned in towards me and whispered, "I do hope you'll like my gift. I brought you crate of sticky fruit. I remember you had quite an affinity for them." I gasped with joy. "I do! My, my, my! Isn't your memory as sharp as a freshly made blade?"
Lord Manderly stood up straight and did his best not to smile. "If you'll excuse me, I see some fish that seems incredibly delectable."
I giggled as I watched the Lord of White Harbor make his way over to the table. Lord Stark (who was busy whispering something to one of the few servants available) spotted someone near the back of the Great Hall. His face lit up, and Lord Stark stood and nudged me. "Come Ophelia, there's someone I want you to meet." I looked down at my plate and at the food table, feeling my stomach rumble. Sighing, I obediently followed Lord Stark to one of the back corner tables, where a man with dark blonde hair and striking green eyes looked at me. Next to him, was his young son, who looked to be around Sansa's age.
The man smiled and stood up, going around the table to give Lord Stark a hug. "Ned!" The Warden of Winterfell grinned as he clasped the man tightly, stepping back to look him over. "Howland! You look good. I'm glad you came." Lord Stark looked at this man's table. "How is the family?"
"Good! Very good! My daughter and wife are home, but I've brought my son. The trip seemed so long and we won't be staying as long as the other Lords and Ladies, so they felt it was only prudent that we came."
Lord Stark gave the man a kind smile as he clasped his shoulder. "I understand. What matters is that you came."
Someone passed behind me, and I could feel them snickering. They whispered to their companion, "The frog eaters and the firebird...what a sight."
I felt my stomach drop and palms sweat. Would more people act like this? They didn't even know me!
"Don't worry. They're more amused by our being here than by you being a Pyralis." The man named Howland and Lord Stark looked at the the young boy who gave me a mysterious smile. The boy was handsome, in his own right, taking after his father in many ways. He was tall for his age, had dark blonde hair, yet unlike his father who had green eyes, this boy had dark brown eyes.
"They don't understand. You unnerve them just by your presence. You, a reminder of a dynasty ended, and a House annihilated." Lord Stark stepped away from his friend and rose an eyebrow at the boy's peculiar comment.
The lithe boy looked at his father than at me. He stood up and came around the table, grabbing my bandaged hand and kissed it. "Forgive my manners. I am Jojen Reed."
House Reed.
Oh.
So that's what that man meant when he said frog eaters.
I looked at Lord Reed and his son and curtsied. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance. You must have traveled a long way. "
"I did not know if you would be able to make it." Said Lord Stark. "The roads were bad."
Lord Reed nodded in agreement to Lord Stark's comment and gave me a gentle look. His green eyes softened as he said, "Yes. But we couldn't have missed this occasion. I knew your father, you see."
I perked up. "You did?!" Lord Stark and him exchanged looks as the latter reluctantly smiled. "Of course. He was a fine swordsman, and one hell of a juggler."
I couldn't help myself. I snorted, putting a hand up to my mouth. "I'm sorry. Did you say juggler? My father, the adventurer, a juggler?!"
Lord Reed let out a small chuckle. "I did say that. He could juggle anything. Plates, swords, boots..." He listed off.
I happily stored that piece of information into my internal library.
Another man was going to pass us, but stopped when he spotted Lord Reed. "Howland Reed. Your arrival was not announced."
Lord Reed stood up a bit more straight and put his arm around his son, as if sheilding him. "Yes. Well, we don't need all the huss and fuss of anouncements. They're a bit too pretentious, don't you think?"
"Yes. Though, as I imagine, you don't have much use for pretense, now do you? With living in a swamp and all."
Lord Reed stayed cool and calm and he replied, "I suppose."
"Still eating frogs?" The man let out a hearty laugh and moved past us.
I scrunched my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "Do people often do that?"
Lord Reed shrugged and scratched the back of his head. "Aye. But I don't mind it much. People will do and say things they think are funny."
"Do you really eat frogs?" I asked in earnest. I put my arms down and leaned in a bit closely for an answer, all while Lord Stark let out a small laugh.
Lord Reed's pale green eyes bore into mine. "Yes. We eat a great many things where we live."
"How exciting! During your stay, could you teach me to catch frogs and cook them?"
"Why would you want to learn that?"
"I love food." I admitted. This caused a round of laughter from the trio of males. "And I like tasting different types of food. There really isn't anything that I don't like to eat. So could you?"
Lord Reed turned to Lord Stark, his expression asking him for permission. Lord Stark made a motion with his hand as if to say 'go ahead'. "Well, seeing that we have a day before we travel back home, I don't see why I can't spare a couple hours."
"Really?! Thank you! I look forward to this new learning experience!" I had to restrain myself from jumping up and down.
I felt so excited.
I'd get to learn how to catch and cook frogs!
This was pretty neat and I could feel my stomach rumbling at the thought of trying a dish that I hadn't eaten yet.
A person came up to me and bowed. "Lady Pyralis, may I introduce myself?" I nodded, eyeing him up and down. He had a narrow face and was really tall with short dirty blonde hair and brown eyes. "I am Cley Cerwyn, first born son of House Cerwyn. Would you care to have the first dance?" His brown eyes shot to the Reeds, barely masking his disdain. "I'd hate it if you were...pressured...into keeping the company of others."
My mouth dropped open as I glanced back and forth between this man and the Reeds.
"Ummm... Uh,well thank you, Lord Cley...", I politefully declined, reaching over to grab Jojen's hand, "But Lord Reed's son has already offered to dance with me first."
Jojen, who seemed to be very passive, gave me an outlandish look.
I caught the poor boy off guard.
"Jojen, wasn't it? Come. I hear a fascinating song that's calling my name." Jojen looked at his father, who was busy hiding a laugh behind his hand. "Son, go on."
Jojen held onto my hand as we made our way to the dance floor. He stood opposite of me and said in a low voice, "I know why you did that."
I tilted my head to the side. "You do?"
He didn't say anything as a new instrumental piece started up. Everyone had turned to the dance floor, watching one in both amusement and shock as I took my first official dance as a Lady with the son from the least popular House in attendance.
Jojen grabbed my hand and spun me around. "You did it because you abhor the ill-treatment of others. You feel that by dancing with me, you're making a statement about those ideals."
I felt shivers go down my spine.
What in the Seven Hells?!
I stopped dancing for a moment to stare at him, with my mouth wide open. "How did you-"
The younger boy took this chance to twirl me. His brown eyes twinkled mysteriously. "I just do."
John's head turned towards the direction of the brooding boy with curly black hair, who was still sulking near the back. "He didn't want to you know."
Did he know Jon? No, that couldn't be possible. He's never been here before, and as far as I know, Jon has never met this peculiar boy.
I became confused. "What are you talking about?"
The short song ended, and he bowed as I curtsied. "Jon didn't want to leave you." I felt myself freeze. I was officially a bit scared. My hand shot out and grabbed his upper arm. "How did you know about that?"
The boy gave me a coy smile and left me, though not before kissing my unbandaged hand and saying, "It was an honor dancing with you. You are everything I hoped you would be."
I shivered at his words.
I didn't have much time to linger on how he knew about Jon and I or his odd comment, before Robb came up next to me. He nodded over the musicians and they struck up another song.
"The moon of the ball, just as I said." Robb whispered as he pulled himself closer to me. One hand was on my waist while the other was raised above me, holding my raised hand.
"Geesh. Thanks for asking me." I joked as the pace of our dance picked up. Robb grinned.
"People hate me." I mumbled lowly and suddenly, making sure to keep my voice barely above a whisper as people joined us on the dance floor. I was insecure about being there and about what people were thinking of me.
Robb shook his head. "That isn't true Ophelia. They don't know you. Give them time, and they'll come to see you for the person you are."
"A servant?" I shot at him, as he lifted me up high. Robb slowly lowered me close to him, and his lips went to my ear as he whispered, "One of the best people I know."
I gave him an unsure smile as he grabbed my waist to spin me around the other couples. "I hope you're right."
"I am." He stated confidently, dipping me down and then back up.
He skipped back a couple of steps as I did the same, and we shuffled to the line that formed in the middle of the dance floor. The women were on one side and the men were on the other, each person facing their partner. Everyone was laughing and smiling as they held the hands of their partner up high, creating a tunnel of human arms. Each couple went through, with Robb and I being the third to go. Robb pulled me close to him and skipped up through the tunnel, until we came out the other side. We clapped to the beat of the music until the last couple went through. When the last couple came to the rest of us, the music stopped and everyone clapped.
I nudged Robb in his ribs. "Thank the Gods I didn't trip."
Robb's smoothly shaved cheeks lifted into a jolly smile that lit up his whole face. "Thank your teacher." Noticing that there was less people around the food tables, he poked me in the stomach. "If you don't mind, I'm going to get something to eat."
"That makes one of us." I mumbled to myself.
I rolled my eyes and left the dance floor.
"You looked great out there."
Domeric Bolton was sitting down at a table, where his father was absent. I spotted Lord Bolton on the other side of the room, kissing My Lady's hand as she stood next to Lord Stark at the end of the high table. I had my reservations about speaking to him, but I dismissed those. After all, it was his men talking horribly about me and the Starks, not him.
"Thank you." I scratched the underside of my arm as Domeric smiled at me. "So...", I trailed off doing my best to make conversation, "How do you like the bread?"
'How do you like the bread?' Really? That's the best I could come up with?! What's wrong with me! Why was I so awkward?!
Domeric chuckled, however, and held up a slice of it. He took a bite and let out an exaggerated moan that made me blush as several people turned towards us. "Mmmmmm!" He swallowed it and let out a laugh. "Best in the North."
I bit my lip, doing my best to stifle a laugh. "I'm sure that's not true. There's probably better bread elsewhere."
A woman passing by gave me an odd look as she went to her table.
Yup.
Nothing to see here, random Lady.
Just two poeple...talking about bread.
Was there really nothing else I could say to this man? I was rather collected when we first spoke. Whelp, I did not do well in large gatherings. I tried again.
"Do you like fruit?"
I failed.
Domeric smiled kindly though, like he knew that talking to people wasn't my best skill. "Yes. I do. Fruit is good."
It became quiet...awkwardly quiet
Yeah, it was time to go.
"Well have a good night!" In my moment of self-doubt, I forgot the proper way to say goodbye. So instead of curtsying, I patted him on the head (as an individual would with a child) and hurried away, my face burning brightly.
I bumped into several tables, and apologized to the people sitting at them. "Sorry! They just come out of nowhere, the tables do...they come out of nowhere." I gave the people thumbs up on both hands (well, kind of, on account of one hand being wrapped up) and left the area as quickly as possible.
I went to where Theon and Ros were sitting, and sat next to them. "How are you both enjoying the party?"
Theon grumbled as he moved his fork around his empty plate. "It would be better if Ros would-"
Ros shot a glare at Theon. "I'm not here to fuck ya." She leaned over and gave me a hug. "Happy Nameday!" She beamed. My hand went up to her hair and I smiled at her. "You tied up your hair with the rope? My friend, you look absolutely beautiful!" I turned to Theon. "Theon! You should be showing her off and making sure she has a nice time!"
Theon stood up and crossed his arms. "Fine! But, I request one dance from you."
How just like Theon. He won't give, unless he gets.
I looked at Ros, then I turned to signal Robb to come over. Robb quirked an eyebrow and sauntered over, carrying a plate of delicious smelling venison. "Yes?" He asked. I gave him an apologetic look. "Robb, I'm so sorry! I know that you need to eat, but Theon wants to dance and I don't want Ros to be alone-"
Robb's Tully blue eyes went wide and he set down his plate hastily. He pulled me away from the table to get out of earshot. "You invited Ros?!" He exclaimed in shock.
I fidgeted with my fingers. "Well, yes. I-"
"She can't be here!" Robb stated in a low voice, his eyes worriedly shooting to the people around us. "If someone were to find out what she works as-"
"Ros is my friend!" I snapped at him. Robb scrunched his eyebrows, and put his hand on my shoulder. "Ophelia, she can't be here. It isn't dignified."
I jerked from his grasp. "This is MY party and I'll invite who I want! She's my friend and she has just as much of a right to be here as anyone else."
Robb looked confused and ran his right hand through his curly auburn hair. "When did the two of you become friends?"
I blushed and shook my head. "Ummm...uhh...that doesn't matter! Can you keep her occupied...please? It's just for one song!" I couldn't let Robb know about my dealings with the brothel in Wintertown.
"Fine. But you know that this discussion isn't over." Robb informed me, going back to the table to sit down next to Ros, who wasn't paying attention to any of us, but rather the meat on Robb's plate.
Gripping Theon's upper arm, I responded with, "Yes it is." Jerking Theon along, I took him to the dance floor. This one was bit slower than the last, and was a partner dance, rather than a group dance. To be fair though, I only danced partner dances up until this point.
I curtsied low as Theon bowed. Standing up, I reached to grab Theon's hand. He paced a couple steps close to me. "Do you know who all is here?" He whispered in my ear, jumping back as the tempo picked up. I let go of his hand to skip around him, before facing him again. "A little. I know that the Manderlys, Reeds, Boltons, Cerwyns, and from one of the banners I do recognize, the Hornwoods, are present. But everyone else..." I gave him a look of helplessness as he went to stand behind me, holding my waist as we parried forwards, before he lifted me from behind. Gently setting me back down, he came in front of me. I had one hand on his torso, the other in his right hand. He twirled us about carefully doing his best not to bump into other people.
Theon's stormy blue eyes raked over me and leaned in closely. "Well, that is pretty much everyone." "Oh." "You know that I will be honest with you, no matter how much it hurts right?"
I pulled back from him, nodding, unsure of where he was going with this. "I trust you. I know that you would never lie to me."
Theon's gaze darted over my head before he whispered, "Most of these Houses don't care about you."
I tried to fight the urge to snort out a laugh, but was losing the battle. "I know that. The Boltons made it obvious."
A tiny bit of me was upset though. Why bother to come if they don't even care about me or want to get to know me?
Theon's grip on me tightened as he spun us around. "No, you don't understand. Many Houses only came because Lord Stark, the Warden of the North, asked them to attend. Don't be fooled by any friendly faces."
I pulled away from him as the song ended. "The Reeds seemed nice and the Manderlys have known me since I was a girl."
Theon stood close to me as we walked back to the table he was sitting at. He scoffed. "Yeah, you would say that. I don't think that any family here really has the intention of offering their son up for you, so be wary of-"
Excuse me?!
My memory from the Bolton's men outside my room came forthright and I shuddered at the sudden acknowledgment of the truth they were telling.
I abruptly stopped walking and stared up at my friend with wide eyes. "What did you just say?" I choked out, my throat dry.
Theon looked confused. "I thought you knew. It was obvious from the moment that they offered you a party-to meet suitors."
Taking note of my fearful look, Theon's head bent down towards mine. He asked me in a caring cautious voice, "You really didn't know...did you?"
I felt like the wind getting knocked out of me. "I hadn't an idea." My hand went to the silver velvet fabric of my dress that covered my stomach.
I looked around the room and saw that everyone was having a good time, while most were barely noticing my presence.
Suddenly, being in a room full of people seemed draining to me. The room was spinning and it was hard to breathe. Everything whirled around me as if I was turning around rapidly, all the faces blurring together and all of the guests' voices and laughter becoming distorted.
It felt like when Jon rejected me and when the Starks told me of my parentage.
"I-I-I" I did my best to straighten out. "I need some air, Theon. If you'll excuse me-" I stumbled out of the room, apologizing as I bumped into some people on my way out.
The cold night air hit me and I ran far from the noise of the Great Hall.
I just needed a moment to think. I needed a place to be alone without anyone bothering me. Running throughout Winterfell, I made my way up some winding stairs and to a familiar wooden door. Pushing it open, I slammed it behind me, sinking down.
I put my head on my knees, trying to regain control of myself.
"Are you alright, Miss?"
My head snapped up to see an unfamiliar looking man who peered out at me from behind on of the shelves of books in the Library. He was handsome, in a rugged sort of way. He was also young, probably Theon's age or a year older.
Shaking, I tried to respond, but no noise came out.
The man slowly came out from behind the shelf. He held a small leather-bound book in his hand. Turning his head to look around, he walked over to me and knelt in front of me.
"Miss, are you feeling alright?" He asked me again, putting his book down.
Shaking my head, I choked out. "I can't breathe! It was getting too close...too many people...it's spinning.."
"What's spinning?" The man asked in a concerned voice.
"The room." I answered, pulling my legs closer to me.
"Close your eyes while you breathe in through your nose and out from your mouth." He ordered suddenly,. This mystery man's voice left no room for objections. Doing what he said, I closed my eyes and started to breath.
After a while, my erratic heartbeat eventually started to slow down. My body stopped shaking and I felt calmness come over me.
"Better?" I heard the man ask. I opened my eyes and tilted my head back against the door. "Yes."
The man gave me a gentle smile and scooted back from me, giving me space. Once I felt my breathing go completely back to normal, I asked him, "How did you know what to do?"
The man's brown eyes looked empathetic and he scratched the side of his neck in slight nervousness. "I get anxiety attacks as well. Mostly whenever I'm with other people, you see."
I became puzzled. "Anxiety attack?"
The man nodded, reaching over to pick up the book he put down on the floor. "Aye. That's what my Maester calls them. When anxiousness takes a hold of a person and refuses to let go. For me, it's especially worse around large groups of people or when bad things happen."
I gasped. I wasn't alone? This happened to another person! "I know what you mean! I don't like large quantities of people either. They've always made me uncomfortable. I just thought that I was really...shy."
The man offered me his hand, and we both slowly stood up. "No..you probably just have severe social anxiety."
"What's that?" I asked curiously, intrigued that this stranger knew what it was like for me to be around a lot of people.
Even in the low visibility of candlelight, I could see the man's face blush a bit, but he coughed into his fist. "It's anxiousness that can worsen around other people. Though, Father just says that I need to 'be a man and get over it'." He rolled his eyes. "It's not always that-"
"Simple?" I finished for him. He gave me a curious look and nodded. "Yeah."
"Is that why you're not at the-"
"Party?" He asked. I let out a singular laugh and said, "Well...yeah."
The man noticed he was still holding my bandaged hand. He let go of it, taking a couple steps from me. "Precisely. I skipped out right as Lord Stark was making his entrance."
It was quiet for a moment before I asked, "What book are you reading?"
The man held up the book and said, "Oh this? I'm afraid you've caught me reading a rather unmasculine book."
He handed it over to me and I took, my dark crimson eyes going from the book's title to the man in front of me, skeptical that he would actually read this. "The Story of Duncan Targaryen and Jenny of Oldstones?"
The man took it from me and held it close to his chest. "Don't judge me. If there's a book, I will read it."
I crossed my arms and told him, "I would never judge you. It's just that there are other books more fascinating than that one."
The man furrowed his thick brown eyebrows. "Like what?"
I hesitated before walking past him. I went over to one of the top shelves and pulled down a thick volume with gold lettering. Holding it in both hands, I presented it to him.
He rose an eyebrow, his light brown eyes meeting mine. "The Known History of The First Men? You read this?"
"A couple years back. It's a fascinating read."
The man put down his love story book on a nearby self and took the book from me. "Thanks..." He said cautiously.
I felt the corner of my lips twitching up into a small smile and I scratched my arm. "You're welcome..." I trailed off. "I'm sorry, but what is your name?"
The man's eyes widened before he bowed to me. "Forgive me, Miss. My name is Torrhen Karstark."
I curtsied to him, the politeness of it all causing him to let out a small chuckle. "My name is Ophelia." Then I realized that I was missing something from name, cursing myself for forgetting it, even after all these weeks of trying to feel familiar with it. "Pyralis." I added on quickly, still feeling unused to my surname.
Torrhen didn't seem shocked or fazed. He simply gave me a smile and said, "Pleased to meet you...Ophelia."
"What? No Lady Pyralis?" I inquired, half joking.
"You don't strike me as the sort of person who likes to be bothered with titles." He genuinely answered in a quiet voice, his eyes not meeting mine, his demeanor becoming a bit withdrawn.
Wow.
Torrhen was incredibly perceptive. I fiddled with the velvety skirt of my dress and said, "Well...I should be heading back. People will whisper if I don't return. I suppose it's not exactly the conventional thing to slip out from a gathering, especially if it's held in your honor."
"Perhaps you're meant for the unconventional." Torrhen muttered .
I felt blood rush to my face. "Perhaps." I echoed back. I went to the door and opened it up. "Thank you for your help."
I could hear the gentleness in Torrhen's voice as he said, "I'm glad to be of some use."
My hand reached for the door handle, when Torrhen called out to me. "Wait...do you think that is a good idea?"
"Going back to the party? Probably not."
Torrhen gestured around him with the hand that was not holding the leather bound book. "You don't always have to do what they want you to. You can just stay here...and read with me."
The prospect did seem nice, to just ditch the party and be here with this gallant young man, reading by the candlelight.
I was warm all of a sudden, like dragonflies were buzzing around inside of me. "I...umm...I appreciate the suggestion. It was very generous. But Lord Stark is my guardian and I'm sure that he would not be pleased if I chose to leave the party so early on, especially when we put all the work into making this happen."
Torrhen gave me a crooked smile that was more visibly expressed by the way his forehead scrunched up. "Yes. Of course. If you don't mind me asking, what work did you put into this party?"
I balled up the velvety fabric of my dress in one of my hand as the other went to the nape of my neck, while I remembered the hell we went through to make tonight possible. "Well I helped My Lady set up the decorations on the tables, and I put the tables where they needed to go before that, along with a lot of other people. But mostly, I cooked."
His hazel eyes flickered to my bandaged hand and rose an eyebrow in surprise. He rubbed the back of his messy brown-haired head, his hand trailing down his neck to scratch it. "You helped cook?" He asked me, his voice slightly skeptical...and impressed.
Maybe I was hearing this wrong.
I'm not really impressive and anyone can cook if they did their best to learn.
"The servants became sick and the Cook needed help." I let go of the fabric and shrugged, trying (and failing) to appear casual.
I cursed myself for acting so awkward.
Torrhen chuckled. "How perseverent you must be. Most Ladies would not go that far to keep everything together for the sake of a party."
"Perhaps I'm not like most Ladies." Why couldn't I talk this way to Domeric? Instead I spoke to him about bread.
For fleeting moment, I was tempted to pat myself on the back for doing such a good job at conversing, but decided against it.
It became quiet and I felt myself becoming nervous. "I should get back now."
Torrhen sat at one of the chairs near the window and opened the book on his lap. "Enjoy yourself."
"I will do my best...Torrhen." I used his first name as he used mine.
I left and walked back to the party, taking my time. I was in no rush to get back there.
I walked slowly under the torchlights that made the corridor softly glow a warm yellow. Eventually, I made my way into the Great Hall, where everyone seemed to have gotten louder and more inebriated.
"Lady Pyralis!" A man came into view and took my hand, kissing it. "You look radiant tonight!"
"Umm...thank you. Lord...?"
The man let out a boisterous laugh before grinning at me. "I am Lord Greatjon Umber of the Last Hearth."
"Oh yes. I'm happy to make your acquaintance, My Lord." The man stood next to me and put his arm around my shoulder, pointing to a man and a woman nearby. "You see those people?"
"Yes sir." I answered, unsure of where this was going. "That is my son and my daughter. Good people."
"They seem-"
"Lady Pyralis!"
Feeling quite uncomfortable, a man who was older, but had familiar looking eyes came into view. He had on a metal breastplate that had a fish engraved into it. "I...uh...hi?" I spoke in a meek voice, backing up from them.
The man kissed my hand and said, "I am Lord Edmure of House Tully. You don't know me well, but I knew your mother."
I covered my mouth in shock. "You're My Lady's brother?"
"Yes."
I nodded my head towards Lord Umber and said, "I will speak with your children momentarily." Lord Umber left (though not before scowling at the Tully) and I focused my attention on the man who was related to My Lady.
"You knew my mother?"
Lord Edmure offered me his arm and I took it. "She was older than I, and always glued to Cat, but yes. I knew her. She was the best sister I could ever ask for." His Tully blue eyes examined me before his weathered but still handsome face grimaced. "It's a shame you never got to know her. She grew to be a good woman. I wish there was something more we could've done in the end."
"I doubt there was much anyone could do...So, what brings you to Winterfell?" I bit my lip.
"To see you coming out into society, of course. My father, Lord Hoster Tully, could not make it. I came in his stead. You had all of Riverun up buzzing with excitement when we received word of your party. Of course, my sister would write to us here and there about you, but when we heard that you would be making an official appearance, we knew that we had to come." He stepped away and stood opposite of me, smiling broadly with glistening teeth.
"I see.." I murmured to myself. I wasn't aware that I would be meeting My Lady's family. Aside from the Reed's, I was sure that almost all of these families were going to be Northern. Giving the man a bright smile, I nodded towards My Lady who was dancing with Lord Stark on the floor. "Be sure to say hello to My Lady. I'm sure she'll enjoy seeing her family."
"I already have."
"Oh."
"You're quite beautiful. You look a lot like your father, but you definitely have Seraphine's beauty." My eyes widened and I felt my face heating up.
I wildly waved my hands in front of me. "Oh no! I don't know about that.."
"Your modesty is enchanting." He grinned. Suddenly, Lord Edmure pulled me close and said, "Lady Pyralis, on behalf of my father, if there is ever anything you need or want, do not be afraid to ask it of House Tully. We will be there for you."
I was taken a back by his offer of generosity so much, I began to stutter. I held my hands up in front of me in protest, stepping back a couple of paces. "T-that's r-r-really not n-n-necessary!" I stammered in protest.
"It is, as my father has required me to say this. House Pyralis and House Tully have had a long-standing relationship for years. My father raised your mother, and my sister is raising you. We'll not break our faith with the last Pyralis left."
The older man seemed determined to hold up this long-standing tradition of keeping the faith of friendship between our two houses. Gulping, I replied while staring at my feet, "Thank you for your offer. I will never forget it."
The older man gave me a kind smile, his Tully blue eyes twinkling. "Your mother and father would be very proud of you."
My head snapped up and I bit my lip. "They would?" I choked out, my voice all of a sudden becoming extremely hoarse.
"Very much so."
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I was finally sitting down and eating something.
I met everyone that needed to be met.
I danced with everyone that asked me to dance.
I acquainted myself with the women and flattered the men.
It was exhausting.
And to my surprise, not every family was the same.
Lord Karstark, was wise and serious. But when he saw me, instead of giving my a kiss on the hand, he gave me a hug. It took me off guard. He looked down at me and said, "There she is, Lady Pyralis. I was looking forward to meeting you. Your father was one of my most trusted friends, as young as he was." He leaned down and whispered into my ear, "Often times he would send me things from his adventures abroad. He was most kind, your father was." The white haired man stood up straight and hit a young man in the chest. "Harrion! Where is your brother?"
The man shrugged and cranes his neck, looking around the room. "It appears that he left."
"Not again!" Grumbled Lord Karstark. "Well, go find him. He must meet Lady Pyralis." I controlled my urge to not snicker into my hand.
After speaking with Domeric once more (this times a more normal conversation about Ethaesper and not about food, Thank the Gods) I had accompanied Lord Bolton to the dance floor. I was uncomfortable the entire time, feeling little under his critical gaze. It probably didn't help that I smacked into him once during the dance and stepped on his feet, all due to nervousness.
The Umbers were as loud and boisterous as their Lord. They all liked to talk about hunting and wars. Even the women, but they were less than impressed by my lack of hunting skills. I enjoyed their Lord, Greatjon Umber. He was kind and loud and had many stories to tell, a few even about my father.
The Cerwyns were cordial, and from what I could gather, stubborn. They had very dry personalities, all only taking about how nice it must be to live in Winterfell with the Starks.
The Hornwoods were all dully ecstatic to be here at Winterfell, though they seemed altogether uninterested in me. They kept their conversations about the how great the hunt is here in the North, compared to down South.
I danced a couple dances with Lord Reed, during which we coordinated when he could teach me to catch frogs. I did my best to put some distance between Jojen and myself though. His knowing smiles made me unsettled in the worst way possible.
I spoke some more with the Manderly's too. When Wylis saw me, he grabbed me and spun me around. "GAH!" I exclaimed as he set me down. "If it isn't that little girl who visited White Harbor, all grown up, I see." My head was spinning slightly, yet I managed to smile at him. "It is nice to see you, Lord Wylis." We talked and danced and he introduced me to his wife and to his brother and his wife. It was probably the most pleasant experience out of all of the families (aside from the Reed's, with whom I enjoyed their carefree attitude towards the traditional decorum of others).
I danced with all of their sons (I even danced with My Lady's brother, Lord Edmure, which was a nicer experience than me dancing with Clay Cerwyn. He stepped on my feet repeatedly.), complemented all of their ladies, and became acquainted with the heads of their Houses.
Now, I was sitting alone, finally able to eat something in peace.
My eyes went to a figure near the back wall, who was making his way through the crowd, leaving the party.
I pushed my way towards the exit where I went outside. Feeling cold and seeing my breath, I ran to the tiltyard, where the sound of steel being sharpened with a whetstone was heard.
Then I saw him.
I knew that the better part of me was warning the stupid part of myself to stay away, but as always, I acted upon the stupid side of myself.
Jon was sitting against the side wall of the barn, sharpening a sword. He didn't look up as he said, "Don't you have to go back to your party?"
'Just walk away'. I told myself. 'No good can come of a confrontation'.
"Why did you do it?" My voice came out trembling a bit. I swallowed any meekness inside, unwilling to let this person view how badly he's hurt me.
Jon's Stark grey eyes looked up at mine and narrowed. "Excuse me?"
"Why did you do it? Why did you break off our courtship?"
Jon went back to sharpening his sword. "We barely had one as I recall...I already told you my reasons. Now leave me be."
I couldn't resist. All of my feelings that has been occupying my mind from the past several weeks came out as the floodgate to them opened wide. "You are so full of shit, Jon!"
Jon's mouth dropped open. He stood up, his sword dropping to the floor, his posture poised to attack. "What did you just say to me?" His gruff voice asked.
"You're full of shit." I repeated more clearly. I walked away from him towards the barn and he followed me, roughly grabbung my shoulder and spinning me around. Jon's jaw clenched and his nostrils flared. "So you think that you can go around talking to people like that, just b-"
"No!" I interjected, pushing him back. "You don't get to speak! I have been in a consistent heartache for weeks all because of you! I did my best to shield it from others, but hide it no longer will I! You're going to listen to every damned thing that I have to say.
I want you to know that I don't believe you or that pathetic excuse you used to stop seeing me! The Jon I know forgives. He doesn't hold things like name calling forever, especially if it happened once. You don't make promises and break them. And you don't hurt people intentionally. I don't know what's going on with you, but I hope that you figure it out. You know why? Because I know my worth, but the real question is, do you know yours?"
"Your worth? You're just a whore who throws herself at anyone who shows her the slightest amount of attention."
My blood started to boil.
I slapped him across the face (shocking both me and him) and started to hit his chest. "You don't mean that! Take it back! I'm not a whore!"
Why would he say this?
It wasn't true!
He knew it.
I've never kissed anyone or held anyone or even had feelings for anyone else besides him
If Jojen was right and he didn't want to do it, why was Jon being so hurtful?
Jon's eyes seemed troubled as I kept hitting him. All of a sudden, he rapidly grabbed my wrists and shoved me against the side wall of the barn, the one well hidden in the shadows. For a moment, he just kept on glaring at me, his face leaning in closely to my own.
I felt my breath hitch as Jon's lips ghosted over my own.
His eyes shut tightly as his mouth came close to mine.
I felt my heart stop beating as his hot breath fell upon me.
He rubbed his nose against mine softly, his forehead pressing to my own.
Ever so gently, his slightly chapped lips grazed over mine, just slightly kissing them. I couldn't help myself. I leaned forward, and kissed him. It was like a force bigger than ourselves pulled us automatically together. A bond so strong and powerful, not even all the beasts in the world could stop us.
For that beautiful moment, I was his, only his alone. And he was mine, only mine.
In the midst of all my heartache, I'd forgotten how amazing it felt to be kissed by Jon Snow.
I pulled on the collar of his leather doublet, fisting the material tightly in my hand, scared of ever letting go. My lips were pressed hard against his, moving in a balanced sway. I ran my fingers through his slicked back curly hair as he pulled me closer.
I never wanted to let go of him. Never. Not in a million years or for a million titles. Not for all the Lannister gold nor for all the extinct dragons.
Jon's eyes remained closed as he held me against him in an embrace, his lips panting softly into my ear. I held him to me as I whispered, "Just be with me. Please... I don't want to be away from you any longer. I'll do whatever you want." He shuddered under my touch as I said this. I nuzzled my face against his. "I want to be with you. And you want to be with me. I know you can feel it. We'll go anywhere if you want. If you lead, I will follow you."
His fingers gripped into my waist tightly and his voice came out strained. "There..would...be...no...honor-", he groaned lowly as if he was fiercely battling himself-,"in...your... suggestion."
I kissed his neck, trailing up to his ear. I whispered to him, "Honor be damned then. I'll be yours and you'll be mine, that's all that will matter."
He brought out another side of me, something foreign, something troubling, something natrual.
Was my behavior proper? No.
Did I care at this moment in time? No.
I was pleading with him from the depths of my heart and soul. I knew that if he said 'Yes' or, even nodded his head, everything would be alright. There would be no suitors. There would be no parties. There would be no Lady Pyralis.
All would be forgiven and we would have a clean slate.
It would just be Jon and Ophelia.
We wouldn't try to find a way: we would find a way to make this work.
And the world would be right.
But he didn't do that.
Suddenly, Jon's eyes snapped open and he pulled back from me. "I hate you. I just want you out of my life." He muttered in a low hissing voice. His eyes bore into mine, one type of fire meeting another.
I was pushed back into reality, whatever spell between us broke.
It was a punch in the gut.
My breath was caught in my throat and my eyes stung with unshed tears.
Once again, he wasn't telling the truth.
And once again, I was fooled and felt my despair take over. Shoving my own feelings deep down, I took in Jon's words and noticed an oddity: There was something more that he wanted to say, but I didn't know what.
How did I notice?
His eyes shifted away for a second, a telltale sign whenever he lies.
Still, I shook my head in denial. "No you don't. Stop lying to yourself, and to me." I shoved him away from me and went back to the Great Hall.
Maybe things between us weren't meant to be...
Just when I thought I couldn't walk into anymore trouble, there was My Lady, scolding Theon, right near the entrance of the Great Hall. Ros was behind him slightly, her hands on his elbows, her face peering out from the side of his arms. She was cowering behind Theon, but knowing Ros, she was doing her absolute best to not show it.
By the Old Gods and the New, what was going on now?!
"You brought a whore? To Ophelia's party?! The gull of it all! See that she leaves at once."
Huh. I guess Robb was right in his sentiments, even if I still didn't agree with him.
I stepped in before my friend could answer.
"My Lady, I invited her."
My Lady gave me a shocked look with wide Tully blue eyes and held a hand over her heart. "Why would you partake in such a vulgar action? This is very unbecoming."
I held my head high, doing my best not to cower in front of the woman who brought me up. "Ros may be a whore, but she is good at heart. You are of the Faith of the Seven, are you not? The Mother has a tender love, forgiving and nurturing. Ros is the same way." Tenderly, I reached out for Ros' hand and pulled her from behind Theon, making her stand next to me. "She is my friend, who has helped me through some incredibly hard times. Show her some compassion! She does not deserve this treatment."
"How did you even meet her?" My Lady sharply inquired. Both Theon and I flinched at the tone of her voice.
"Ros was at my whipping. She gave me Milk of the Poppy so I would not have to endure the pain of my lashes any longer." I honestly admitted to her.
"Ophelia speaks truthfully. There is no fallacy to her statement." Theon said, standing behind us. He didn't know about Ros giving me Milk of the Poppy, but he knew me well. He could see that I was not lying.
"Be that as it may, I cannot allow a prostitute to mingle with the other guests." Her Tully blue eyes glared at Ros. "Please make yourself scarce."
"No-"
Ros squeezed my hand reassuringly. "It's alright, my friend." She bowed before My Lady and mumbled, "I'll leave right now."
Ros gave me a small smile and hugged me, whispering in my ear, "Thank you for allowing me to come. It was more than I could ever hoped for." She nodded respectfully towards My Lady and left.
This wasn't fair!
This was a party thrown for MY nameday, and I couldn't have the one guest I personally invited?
I bit my lip and looked down at the ground, avoiding My Lady's critical stare. "We will speak about this tomorrow. I'm very disappointed with you, in terms of this regard." With a flurry of light blue skirts, My Lady left.
My Lady was disappointed...in me.
I have to admit it...this did not feel good at all.
Theon came into view and his Stormy blue eyes scanned the room, taking in the vast inebriation of the guests. He seemed a bit sheepish as he admitted, "I let it slip aloud that Ros works in a brothel and I did not notice Lady Stark."
"How could you possibly let it slip?!"
"I made a comment about the way Ros was sitting and asked her if she sat on cocks the same way. She replied with 'Only the ones that pay well.' Lady Stark heard it and...here we are."
I frowned and crossed my arms. "I can't believ-you know what? I actually can believe you would do something so idiotic! She was the one person I wanted to be here, the one person I've invited and now you've gone and ruined that for me!"
Theon put a hand on my shoulder and bent down slightly, giving me a look of severe intensity. "I will fix this. I promise."
My eyes took in everyone in high spirits, dancing, talking, singing. I was done and they would not notice if I officially left.
I pushed Theon's hand off of me. I stared at the wall opposite of me and said, "Don't worry about it. It's fine." Theon's face fell and he looked ashamed for a moment, until it disappeared. "Oh really? Are you honestly going to lie to me right now?"
I scratched my arm and stepped away from my friend. "I'm going to go to bed." I said, evading his question. "Good night." I left to go to my room. Once there, I stripped myself of everything and put on my nightgown. Doing my best to ignore the faint noises of celebration from the Great Hall, I eventually drifted off to sleep.
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The next morning, Katherine woke me up. She looked a bit worse for wear, but asides from her red nose, she seemed fine. Throwing the covers off of me, she shook me until I woke up.
"Whazzagoin' on?" I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.
"I've had the other women fill up your tub and set your table. I've also taken the liberty of having some men bring in your presents while you were sleeping." Sitting up, I saw that a pile of presents were in the corner of my room, neatly stacked.
"You should be resting still, Katherine!" I protested. I'd hate it if she didn't get better all because she felt the need to work.
Katherine shook off my comment as she pulled me up and off of my bed. "I am feeling better, no rest is needed."
"But you should-" Katherin cut me off from talking. "Hurry. You must bathe and eat your meal. Lady Stark wishes to see you today, as soon as possible. Those were her instructions
Remembering last night, I felt the blood leave my face.
This would not bode well.
"Is everyone feeling better?" I asked, doing my best to stall from seeing My Lady.
Katherine took off the covers of my bed and shook them, out. "Several people are, still, many are recovering from their illness. Anyway, please hurry. Lady Stark sounded urgent this morning."
Dreading this confrontation, I got naked and bathed myself as Katherine set out my dark green dress for me.
She helped me put it on and then started to lace up the back during which, I took out Ethaesper from her cage and set her in my shoulder.
After hastily plaiting my hair into its usual braided bun and slipping on some shoes, I went to the door.
"Wait you need to eat your meal!"
"You eat it!" I said. I had no room for an appetite. I was about to reprimanded.
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I flinched as My Lady kept raising her voice.
"You should never have invited her! A whore's presence could have offended somebody. Many Lords of importance were there. Their sons and heirs were present-My own family was there! What would they have thought, if they found out about your friend's profession?" My Lady snapped at me. I flinched again.
The last time I was scolded this badly was when I threw a cup at Robb's head. It was right after White Harbor and during supper one night, he had made a comment that I was nothing and just a stupid low-born unimportant orphan that no one wanted around. My response was throwing an empty cup at his head. Lord Stark had to take Robb out of the room and talk to him, while My Lady knelt down to my level and scolded me. After Robb had come back, he looked at me differently and just gave me the silent treatment from there on.
I never knew what Lord Stark had said to him, and I never really wondered about it. At the time, I was more worried about the fact that I had a stern talking to in front of several people.
"It was never my intention to offend anyone." I spoke in a soft voice, keeping my eyes to the ground. I felt so guilty. I hated making My Lady upset. Yet, I needed her to see this from my point of view. "I just wanted a friend present. And no one found out what Ros does for a living, so what's the harm? There's no point in worrying about the 'What Ifs'."
" 'What Ifs' matter, Ophelia!" My Lady looked desperate for me to understand. "You can't just do this sort of thing! People like her don't have the right to be seen or even speak to people like us."
"She is my friend. And people like her? I knew that you hated me associating with people like Jon and Ros but this is-" My Lady interuppted me as her eyes turned into slits.
"And Theon as well."
"And Theon?! He's a Noble too! Why do I need to stop associating with him?!" I felt my heart stop. Stop associating with Theon? That wasn't possible. Ros and Jon I understood (though I didn't agree with) but Theon?! My closest friend?!
"His reputation leaves much to be desired. He's also a Greyjoy and a ward of House Stark. Spending all of your free time with him does not look good." She said sternly as she came closer to me.
"I'm a ward as well!" I shot back at her. "By the very definition, I am a ward. I'm no better than him!" My hands were balled up into fists. If I had nails, I'm sure I would have cuts in my palms.
"Yes, but you were born here", She reminded me in a no-nonsense voice, "You are of the North and he is an Iron Islander. And your mother was my closest friend-" "As Theon is mine!" " The nature of your situations might be similar, but the details of them are vastly different." My Lady did not seem to notice the way my eyes were nearly welling up with frustration.
Ethaesper, who was resting peacefully on my shoulder up until this time, opened her golden eyes and let out sorrowful chirp. She stared at My Lady and let out the chirp again, as if she were echoing my sentiments.
My Lady dismissed my feathery companion. "Not now, Ethaesper!"
"They are my friends. The few that I have in this world." I explained to her. My voice was shaking with emotion and an enormous ball began to form in my throat.
'Don't cry!' I yelled internally.
"Well perhaps you need to make new friends. You're a Noble now. You can't go around frantenizing with the help."
I felt my temper flare and the ball in my throat dissipated at once.
"It wasn't so long ago that I was the help! If they liked me when I was nothing, and stood by me then, I can count on them more than I can with the people who came into my life only after finding out that I possess the name of Pyralis." A hot tear came down my cheek and I furiously flicked it away.
"Who you are friends with have a much bigger impact than you realize. What sort of connections you create can either make or break depending on the people you associate with. Maybe I have been too lenient with you, and for that I will take blame. But from now on, I expect you to act more like a Lady and less like a heathen, am I understood?
"A heathen? So I'm not allowed to talk to them anymore, all because of connections? All because I'm 'higher' than they are. That's horrible and I won't take part of it." I crossed my arms and Ethaesper stood up straight in my shoulder, staring down at My Lady.
"You will because that's what's expected of you!" My Lady gripped my upper arm tightly and Ethaesper, in defense of me, let out a warning shriek and flapped her wings wildly. My Lady immediately let go.
Ignoring what just happened, I said, "So, I can't be around Ros, Jon, or Theon anymore? Is that what you're saying?"
"Definitely not Ros. However, you may spend time with Theon if Robb or anyone else is present. And I want you to have limited contact with that bastard."
I don't know what compelled me to defend Jon, especially after everything, but I did.
"That bastard's name is Jon and I will speak to him whenever I want!" My Lady's Tully Blue eyes narrowed and she became livid.
"Ophelia Pyralis, do not raise your voice at me. You will do what I say." She was using the tone that she used whenever Arya was being defiant.
"I will not!" And I was being just as defiant as Arya.
My Lady rubbed the back of her neck, a habit she did often out of stress, and tried to appeal to my better side. "You have always been obedient and good. Why now are you acting this way? What changed?"
"I love him!" I blurted out. I immediately froze as did she. Ethaesper's eyes widened. She cooed and flapped her wings, flying across the room, and landed on My Lady's desk, not wanting to be apart of the discussion any longer.
'Traitor.' I scoffed.
Did I love Jon?
Of course I did. But like that? In a romantic way? In a way that a husband loves a wife? Or a wife loves a husband?
Maybe I could have, if we had gotten to have a bit more time together.
"What did you just say?" My Lady's voice was deadly quiet and suddenly, her red hair made me think that it was flames bursting brightly from her head.
I once again, felt like that eight year old girl being scolded in the Great Hall.
"I love them", I said quickly, covering up my original statement, "All of them."
"Your mother never gave anyone this type of trouble! And as obscure as your father was, he would never have put up with this." My Lady was as willing as I was to change this to something else. But I didn't want this new topic to be about how unlike I was to my parents.
"I am not my mother! Stop comparing me to her, to a woman I have never met! Alright?! I can't just make friends instantly and be sociable. I'm also not my father! I am me! I can't just command a room's attention by my mere presence. These people are my people and are they are the only ones I have." I was exasperated, completely fed up with the woman who raised me. I ran my hands through my hair, till they reach the bun at the back of my head.
"Not for long." My Lady stated, as she walked back and forth a couple paces, her dark blue skirts swishing around her like water.
"What do you mean?"
"The party was thrown in your honor as a way to come out into society...and as a way for you to meet eligible young men."
"I know. Theon already told me. You know, that Iron Islander! Pray tell, why is he more honest to me than the woman fed me from her own breast?! Why do you insist on keeping things from me? Both you and Lord Stark!"
"Whatever we choose to tell you is up to us for the remainder of you being in our care." She pinched the bridge of her nose and inhaled deeply through her mouth.
"So that's it then? You'll just trade me off to the highest bidder as if I were chattel!" How dare they?! I know that they were in their full legal right, but really?! As if I hadn't suffered enough, let's just force Ophelia into an arranged marriage. Ophelia wasn't a slave, she was a person. And Ophelia doesn't like this!
Oh great! Now I was starting to refer to myself like Hodor.
"Why are you so offended by this?"
"Because it wasn't so long ago that I knew what it felt like to be looked down upon based on your station in life. I didn't let it bother me most of the time, but when it did...it felt awful. Like I was nothing. Like I am nothing. Now this feels like I am nothing...just some slave to bid off at an auction. My family would not stand for this, neither would my mother!" I knew that using Seraphine as a point in my argument was low. My Lady looked pained and she brought her hand up to her heart, as if to ease tension there.
"Little bird, we have never fought...Not really. So please listen to me. You need to be betrothed and soon, or at least in a suitable courtship. If the King found out that you weren't, he would not be merciful." Oh...so that was why. Well...now I really was nothing.
"So who is it then?" I demanded.
"Who is what?" My Lady was puzzled and she stood up straight near the fire roaring in the hearth.
"Who am I to be married to?" I asked in a clear voice. I was dreading the answer.
My Lady studied me with her intensive gaze for a very long time before she closed her eyes and mumbled, "Lord Stark was ordered to choose your husband for you, but he has felt that in light of everything that's happened recently, he is willing to let you make a suggestion that he will consider."
My mouth dropped open. Maybe somewhere out there, my family was looking out for me. And here I was certain that they would sell me off to someone old and decrepit. "Hold on a moment-he's willing to allow me to choose my husband?"
"In a sense..." My Lady's voice trailed off, as if she thought that this whole thing was a very bad idea.
I knew that I couldn't suggest Jon for many obvious reasons, but still I asked, "Why can't I just get married to someone I already know?"
My Lady shook her head and strided over to me, putting her hands in my shoulders in a comforting way. "No. Ophelia, all the men you already know are unsuitable in some way or another. Really? You can't think of anyone at all that caught your interest last night?"
My face contorted. I couldn't make a decision like this! Not right now at least. I met most of them just the night before! How was I to judge a man by his character only after a short while of talking?This was going to be a recipe for disaster! "This is too much...how can I possibly decide on something as big as this?"
My Lady gave me an understanding smile. She squeezed my shoulder with her left hand and led me to one of the chairs to sit. "That's what I had told Lord Stark, yet he insisted. I did suggest my brother though. He seemed very taken with you."
I resisted the urge to say 'Eww'. "Didn't he know my mother?" I needed to tread carefully, so I did not offend My Lady. True, her brother was nice but...I cringed. He grew up with my mother.
"Yes. I can see how this must be...uncomfortable, but he has much to offer a woman. Edmure is handsome, and I know that my father would approve of the match." She was rather insistent, I'll give her than. And her intentions meant well but...at least now I understood why my mother rejected as many suitors as she had.
"I don't want to marry someone who is old enough to be my father. And I couldn't care less if he's handsome or not. I prefer intellect over looks." I twiddle with my hands, unable to meet her eyes.
My Lady tapped her chin before she exclaimed, "I know! How about that boy you first danced with? Lord Reed's son. He seemed...charming." I did my best not to laugh as she struggled to find a word to describe the mystical Jojen Reed.
I considered him for a moment before I told her, "I do like him, it's true, but he's Sansa's age."
"You could wait till he's older to marry him. A year or two." My Lady folded her hands on her blue skirted lap and waited for my reply.
"But he's younger than me." I pointed out again.
"Well, some Ladies marry people that are younger. I'm sure you're not the first to marry someone younger nor will you will not be the last." She informed me.
Jon's face flashed in my mind and I felt like I was being unfaithful to him. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.
I waited for a moment for this dreadful feeling to go away, but when it didn't I proclaimed, "I don't want to talk about this any longer. I am leaving." I stood up but My Lady halted me from leaving by yanking me down.
"This cannot be put off!"
"Let me go!" I tried to pull myself from her iron grip, but she was constricting me too strongly. "After everything that has happened this year, I have no wish to be in a relationship. Let me have a year or two, please!"
"No! This must be discussed right now. Honestly, Ophelia. What has gotten into you?"
I felt myself getting annoyed at My Lady's unwillingness to hear me out.
"I don't need to discuss this right now! I have no intention to marry." I finally removed myself from her grip, and I held my bruised arm to my chest.
"Either you pick someone out for consideration or I will. Please Ophelia, give me a name- any name!" If it was any other time, I would have been impressed by My Lady's mix of a threat and a plea. But her tone of voice is what caught my attention...she sounded urgent. If the King hated my family (and by extension me) would putting off a suitable engagement give cause to have me punished...or to even be killed?
More importantly though, what would become of the Starks due to my defiance?
Would they suffer the King's wrath too? It already was stressful for them becuase they raised me, but if I were to be defiant, would they be subjected to punishment?
I sat there quietly.
Why was I even fighting it?
I knew that it would eventually come to this.
And who was I holding out for?
Jon didn't want me.
He made that clear last night and several weeks back, and just now, was it fully resonating with me.
He didn't want me.
My eyes stung but I pushed them down. I didn't want My Lady to see me cry over the boy that she's hated since birth.
I thought some more. I wouldn't even have to marry them immediately. First came the courtship, which could take several months. Maybe I could figure out a way to not get married by then? I dismissed this thought, though. No, marriage would be inevitable. I suppose if I did pick someone, some man I chose, I could get to like them, and perhaps, love them...eventually, that is.
"Well? What's it going to be?"
I went through the people I met last night and I came up with the perfect one.
Well, maybe not perfect, but he would do.
He had to.
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I smoothed out my dress and stood up straight.
Here goes nothing.
I knocked on the door three times and a familiar face answered. He was dressed up in a grey shirt and a black doublet. He had on black trousers and sturdy brown boots. His hair was everywhere, as messy as it had been last night when I talked to him. His eyes widened in surprise as he saw me.
"Oh...hello!"
I peered into the room behind him.
No one else was there.
"Now remember, I will pass the name onto Lord Stark, but otherwise, I believe he will be pleased with your choice. Our family and his are very close. You should go see him today, and invite him to do something appropriate...something chaperoned mind you. Start to develop somewhat of a friendship and everything else will fall into place."
'This is the inevitable.' I reminded myself. 'Time to face it.'
His hazel eyes looked at me expectantly and I gave him a small smile. "Hi. I just wanted to come by and say thank you for helping me last night."
Torrhen tucked the book he was reading under his arm. "It was nothing."
"Right." I said, tucking a loose piece of hair behind my left ear. "Well, I was wondering...if you're not busy that is, if you would like to accompany me to the Wolfswood? Lord Reed is going to be teaching me how to catch frogs. It could be lots of fun!"
Torrhen seemed surprised and his eyes flickered down to his book. "Well...alright. I suppose I can spare an hour or so." He put the book on his bed and came out into the corridor. He shut the door behind him and held out his arm.
"Shall we then?"
I took it and as we walked to the Wolfswood, I swallowed my feelings of infidelity, all while I thinking, "I'm sorry, Jon. I'm so sorry. I had no choice. Forgive me."
This chapter took me so long to write! I hope you enjoyed it. :D Next chapter will be an important flashback chapter, since I haven't done one of those in a while. Thanks for your unending support. Please give this a review and tell me what you think. Next chapter: We'll be re-introduced to a crucial character of this story and see what they've been up to all these years. P.S. Let me know in the reviews who you think it'll be. P.S. If we could get this chapter up to 100 reviews, it'd make me so happy! I know you guys can to do it!