Published: May 1, 2020

Track 11: Not All That Glitters Is Gold

"My, what big feet you have. And you know what they say about shoe-size..."

Raven pressed her thigh between his legs and grinded against him to the beat of the music. She leaned in to lick his neck, her tongue trailing slowly up to his earlobe. Hot breath tickled his ear as she moaned, "Gar, I want you."

Gar lurched out of bed, sheets and pyjamas equally drenched with sweat. His dream had been a hazy combination of memory and fantasy. Long after waking up, the scene kept replaying in his psyche, torturing him with the imaginings of what could have been. Two days had passed since the Titans' night of debauchery and Gar was still very much hung up over everything that happened with Raven.

The woman had completely taken him off guard. He had just made up his mind not to pull any moves on her and then all of a sudden, the tables had turned. There was no question about it; Gar was developing feelings for his manager. Was he in love with her? No... not yet, anyway. The initial attraction had morphed into something stronger than a crush, but he could certainly see himself going down the path of full-blown infatuation.

He pivoted his thoughts from their steamy encounter on the dance floor to their sober discussion in Kory and Dick's apartment. Their little heart-to-heart left him unsettled. He had given Raven the impression that he was the perfect gentleman, but internally, his feelings were much more complicated than that. Truthfully, he had been very close to losing control. But no, he had reassured her that he would never hurt her, that he was a "nice guy".

Gar sighed. He didn't want to fall into that trap; he knew that Raven owed him nothing. Although it was slow-going, she was beginning to open up to him. How could he take advantage of her trust? If she wanted friendship, a friend he would be. And if ever she was looking for something more... He would be the first in line. For now, he needed to keep it in his pants and get his mind out of the gutter. Besides, he had other more pressing things to worry about.

Upon arriving at home the night before, Gar typed up a letter to his manager to formalize his two week's notice. Unlike Victor and Dick, he had no qualms about quitting his job. A music career had always been his ultimate goal and it looked like his years of effort were finally paying off. He thought back on his foster parents and how upset they had been when he declared that he wasn't applying to college. Steve's rage was expected, but it was really Rita's disappointment that had made the decision so difficult.

In the end, Gar was glad that he persevered and didn't let himself get sidetracked. What was the point of higher education if he was going to be a rock star for the rest of his life? Rock star. Raven had called them certified rock stars. Gar wasn't ashamed to admit it; he wanted to be a celebrity. Ever since he was a kid, the spotlight was his true love. Between being the class clown and performing in school productions, he basked in the limelight with unabashed pleasure. Some people might view it as shallow, but to him, he saw no problem in wanting to be rich and famous. After all, what was the worst that could happen?

The diner was a cozy, family-run place. The vinyl seats were a bit grimy and the decor hadn't been updated in decades, but the restaurant retained a certain charm. At two in the afternoon, it was half-empty. Most customers had already come and gone for their lunch breaks. Raven arrived a few minutes early, so she took the opportunity to skim over the menu while she waited for her client to show up. Tardiness was one of her pet peeves, therefore she always made sure to be punctual herself.

When the man initially texted to meet up one-on-one, she was a bit surprised. He had sent the message late at night and she only saw it when she woke up the next morning. He hadn't given much detail about what he wanted to talk about and that made her nervous. Raven was the type of person who liked to process things slowly and internally, with as much advance notice and information as possible. Not knowing the subject of discussion put her in a state of unease, but there was nothing she could do about it until her dining partner showed up. Her eyes looked up from the menu when she heard footsteps approach the booth.

"Hey, Raven. Sorry this was so last minute."

"No problem. As your manager, it's my job to address your concerns."

Victor settled into his seat, tucking his large limbs underneath the table. He seemed a little nervous too. Raven had grown to like the Titans' drummer a lot. He had an easy-going sense of humour and there was a comforting aura about him. He was self-assured without being overbearing or intimidating. In another life, she might have liked to have him as an older brother.

The pair went through the pleasantries of small talk until a waitress came by to pour them some water. Once she left with the promise of coming back for their orders, Raven decided to open up the conversation. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Yesterday was intense. A little too intense, if you ask me. A lot happened and there was so much to take in."

Raven nodded in both agreement and understanding. Their emergency meeting the day before had taken a toll on her too. The band's situation had changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. Hell, even she was still recovering from the shock.

"To be honest with you, I kind of felt like I was blindsided," Victor said. "I'm not used to making big decisions on the fly like that and when we all went our separate ways, my mind kept processing."

"I can relate. Do you regret your decision?"

Victor set his forearms on the table and began to fidget, twiddling his bionic thumb with the one of flesh and blood. "Not necessarily. It's just... There's a lot going on in my life right now. I thought I'd have more time to consider the next steps."

They stopped the exchange to give their attention to the waitress. Victor asked for coffee and a plate of steak and eggs. Raven simply ordered a black tea and a grilled cheese sandwich. When the waitress left to put in their requests, Victor picked up the dialogue again.

"Have I ever told you how I got into the accident that made me look like... Well, this?" he said, gesturing at his right arm and left leg.

Raven cocked her head to the side and said, "I don't know any of the details, but it happened in high school right?"

"That's right. Before I ever got into music, I was your stereotypical jock. In my Junior year, I was the star of Jump City High's track team."

"The original 'Titans', right?"

"Yeah, we kinda stole the name. We thought we were real clever at the time," he remarked with a laugh. "Track was my life. I had a master plan: eat, sleep, study, train, repeat. Keep my grades up, get a scholarship, get scouted for the National team. And when my athletic career would inevitably end, I'd fall back on my brains and go into engineering or scientific research."

"Sounds like a great plan."

"My parents thought so too. They pushed me to excel in everything I did and I would have met their expectations, if not for the car accident. The damage was so bad that the doctors made the decision to amputate right away. I was out of commission for months. By the time I recovered and was ready to go back to school, all of my friends seemed to forget who I was. On the outside, I looked totally different. But on the inside, I was still the same old me. Well, at least personality-wise..." Victor briefly paused his story when the waitress came by to deposit their plates of food. After taking a few bites, he continued, "Mentally, I was wrecked. It was a really dark time. Being isolated like that forced me into an identity crisis. Who was I if I couldn't achieve my dreams? I had everything banking on my future and ultimately, I lost it all. Have you ever heard of 'phantom limb' syndrome?"

"I read about it in a medical journal once," replied Raven, "Apparently, the majority of amputees feel as though the missing limb is still there."

Victor nodded and said, "I had it bad, especially before I was fitted with my prostheses. But you know what the worst part was? Sometimes, I would wake up and completely forget that the accident ever even happened. I'd go to school, attend class, and at the end of the day, I'd automatically walk towards the locker rooms to get ready for practice." His eyes took on a melancholic expression. It broke Raven's heart, but she tried to keep her face emotionless. She had a feeling that Victor didn't appreciate pity. "But everything changed when I learned how to play the drums and the Titans formed. If not for those guys, well... Let's just say they dragged me out of the pits of my despair. And music, man, it saved me. I was so hopeless, yet every time I listened to music or perfected another skill on my kit, it felt like I had something to live for, you know?"

Raven knew exactly what he meant. She vehemently believed that having a purpose in life is essential to one's happiness. That's why she threw all of herself into her work. If she was to leave a legacy behind, she was determined for it to have a positive impact on the world. She asked, "If that's the case, what are your apprehensions? As Garfield said yesterday, isn't this a dream come true for you?"

"I'm starting to re-assess my priorities. I enjoy my job and I have a wonderful fiancée. What if fame and fortune turns me into someone I'm not? What if I lose sight of who I am?"

She pondered his question while the pair stopped to sip at their drinks. Before replying, Raven chose her words very carefully. "Victor, we still don't know each other very well, but I think I'm beginning to understand more of who you are. You consider us as friends, right?"

"Absolutely."

"For a moment, forget that I'm your manager. I am saying this to you as your friend," said Raven while staring at him intently. "Have you ever considered that maybe, you're not just worried about your priorities? What if it's really fear? What if you're afraid of taking the risk, committing your hopes, and ultimately, losing it all?"

Victor sat back in his seat as the words sunk in. "Huh. You are one smart woman."

Raven smiled at his observation."I certainly like to think so."

After a few beats of silence, they went back to eating their meals. When they finally began to speak again, it was about mundane, everyday things. Once the plates were cleared and bills were paid, they both stood up to leave. Victor said, "Looks like I have to get back to work. I should hurry. I haven't written my letter of resignation yet and I should probably submit it by the end of the day." He reached over to envelop Raven in his arms for a hug. "Thank you, Raven. Don't let me lose sight of who I am, promise?"

"I promise," she replied softly, her voice muffled by the warm embrace.

Two weeks had come and gone, and the Titans were officially unemployed. It had been an easy process for Kory to quit her job at the daycare, though the children were heartbroken. On her last day of work, the centre organized a good-bye party and presented her with handmade cards and gifts. During the event, Kory was a total mess and continued crying long after she returned home.

Her partner, on the other hand, had received plenty of judgement from his colleagues at the D.A.'s office. Dick's supervisor was baffled at his employee's sudden lack of commitment. The young upstart had been so driven to move up the ranks and get his full law degree, but now, he was throwing away his hard work at the drop of a hat. Sure, he could try to pick up where he left off, but he would have lost his reputation in the process. Nobody trusted a lawyer who had the gall to quit for a music career, of all things.

As for Victor, no one really seemed to notice except for the handful of people in his department. S.T.A.R. Labs was a giant corporation and he didn't really know anyone outside of his office. Apart from submitting a ridiculous amount of paperwork through HR, it had been relatively painless. What Victor did find painful was the realization that in two weeks time, he would receive his last paycheque for the foreseeable future. He had discussed the situation with Sarah before meeting up with Raven at the diner. His fiancée's only misgiving was that the wedding would have to wait a bit longer due to tight funds, but otherwise, she was fully supportive.

Secretly, Gar was the most stressed out of the four of them. Dick came from money and was more than capable of taking over the bulk of living costs for Kory. Victor was a diligent saver and never spent a cent if it wasn't already planned out in his monthly budget. Gar essentially lived from paycheque-to-paycheque, often spending his extra cash on video games, comic books and over-priced vegan food. He was grateful that he wasn't seeing his foster parents at Thanksgiving. They had booked a week-long cruise on the Baltic Coast and wouldn't be back till the end of November. If Steve became aware of his financial situation, he would completely flip his shit. And if Rita found out about the band's newfound Internet notoriety, she would lose hers.

In the two weeks that had elapsed, the #awkwardfamilychallenge trend was already dead. Some other fad had taken over TikTok and it seemed as though their fifteen minutes of fame had passed them by. Gar was a little put out by this, but he was confident that Raven would have some sort of game plan figured out to maintain their celebrity status. While Dick and Victor had remained unbothered at work, some of the parents at Kory's old daycare were determined to get selfies and autographs at her goodbye party. There were rumours that one of the mothers was planning to sell a signed napkin on eBay.

In Gar's case, he had gotten recognized several times at work before his contract was over. His fans were mostly college girls in their late teens and early twenties who would stop by to catch a glimpse of the Titans' guitarist. Some asked for his autograph on their coffee cups, while the bolder ones slipped him their numbers. It would be an understatement to say that his ego had inflated to the size of a blue whale. Though the fangirls were a nice distraction, Gar hadn't returned any of their advances. For one thing, it was like acting on a weird power trip and that made him feel sleazy. For another, he had his sights set on somebody else much more interesting.

That morning, Raven had called in the Titans for yet another meeting. She still didn't have her own office space, but the band didn't mind. Her condo building was pretty posh and from their perspective, its conference room was more than professional enough for their use. The gang sat around the table in a large circle, with everyone's attention on the manager.

"As I explained at the signing of our contract, the returns from the album will be divided in a profit split agreement. I am pleased to announce that I have your very first cheques." Raven took out four white envelopes with the band members' names written neatly on the front. "This money, of course, must be declared as income during tax season. You will receive these royalty cheques every two weeks. The amounts will vary depending on how many sales and digital downloads there are in that period."

Dick and Victor sagely folded the envelopes and tucked them in their wallets, but the temptation was too much for Gar and Kory not to open them right away. They tore into the paper at the same time.

"Twelve dollars and eighty-seven cents," Gar read to himself in a whisper. "TWELVE DOLLARS AND EIGHTY-SEVEN CENTS?!" he screeched once the numbers sunk in. "Are you shitting me?!"

"What were you expecting?" asked Raven with a raised brow.

Gar held the cheque with his thumb and forefinger as if it were a dirty sock. "Definitely more than this!"

"Don't forget Garfield, Nevermore Records gets first dibs. If you include studio rentals, Virgil's cut, the music video production, staff, promotion and the countless pizza meals, this album incurred close to 100 grand in expenses. Luckily for you, there was something leftover."

"I would hardly call this leftovers," Gar complained, "more like scraps from the table."

Dick and Kory seemed unconcerned, but Victor looked like he was about to have an aneurysm.

"Don't panic," Raven intoned in a soothing voice. "Now that the production costs are paid off, the royalties will be split evenly between the five of us. The cheques are only going to get bigger from here, especially since 'How Long is Forever?' gained so much traction. At the rate things are going, it won't be long until the single goes Platinum. And if my projections are correct, the album will be certified Gold in the next month."

Despite Raven's reassurances, Gar exclaimed, "What was the point of quitting my job for music if I can't even pay rent?"

She rolled her eyes and responded with a rhetorical question of her own. "Well, how do you expect to perform at The Late Late Show with James Corden in three days if you're busy working at a cash register?"

"Did you just say James Corden?" Dick asked in a low voice. He slowly pulled off his sunglasses in a dramatic fashion, his eyes alight with zeal.

"And did you just say three days?!" shouted Victor.

"That's right, Titans," Raven answered with a small smile. "We're going on a road trip."

As Raven exited the van, she raised her hands to cover her eyes from the sun's bright rays. It was only a couple of hours away from Jump City, but Los Angeles was significantly warmer even though it was already mid-November. Kory stepped out after her, followed by the boys. They had arrived at Mad Mod Productions, the studio where the late-night show was filmed and produced. To Raven's relief, they were right on time. "Remember what I said in the car, people," she said. "Smile, be polite, and for the love of God, don't touch any of the studio equipment."

"Yessir!" Garfield said with a salute.

Raven glared back at him with barely veiled exasperation. "Don't test me."

"Relax, Ravey-kins. I won't do anything you wouldn't do."

"I would never call someone by a nickname against their wishes, especially if they had made it clear, several times, that they prefer RAVEN!"

"Now, now, children," Victor intervened, "let's not fight."

They were parked at the back of the building and were met by the show's producer and a couple of stage hands. While the producer escorted them inside, the two staff workers went about extracting the band's instruments from the van and wheeling them in on a platform cart. They were then brought to a green room where they were briefed on the day's schedule.

"You can hang out here for the next hour or so," the producer said. "There are snacks over there and you can find cold drinks in the mini-fridge. My assistant will come and get you when it's time for sound check, followed by hair and makeup, and then the taping will begin. Ms. Roth, just call me if you need anything."

The woman scurried away, leaving the Titans alone to relax by themselves. Victor, Garfield and Kory immediately went for the snacks, while Richard contented himself by settling onto a couch. Raven remained standing so she could pace. She always paced when she was in the thick of "work mode". The band had rehearsed several times in the last few days and they all felt ready to perform.

Their manager, on the other hand, still had a lot on her plate. In addition to arranging their debut television appearance, Raven had been busy responding to media inquiries. News outlets like BuzzFeed had asked them to come to their head office for a video shoot, something to do with reading "thirst Tweets" and playing with puppies on camera. The local station, Jump Up! FM, had also requested a radio interview and live performance. While the band members went through the process of sound check and getting dolled up, Raven was busy typing away at her tablet and answering phone calls.

"I'm not getting paid enough for this," she whined to herself. Garfield hadn't realized that she also only received a measly sum of 12 dollars and 87 cents for her first paycheque. She was pleased that the production costs had been paid off relatively quickly, but at the same time, she wasn't exactly swimming in cash. If their media appearances went well, it would greatly boost exposure and in turn, their sales. She didn't tell the band, but they had a lot riding on their first TV show appearance. If they bombed, they would lose momentum and a drop in album sales would follow. She tried not to let the financial anxieties bother her too much, but it was a constant concern in the back of her mind. It looked like she just needed to trust that the Titans would pull through.

The taping ended about three hours later. Even though it was the middle of the week, the episode was only scheduled to air that weekend. There was no interview segment, but that was customary for musical acts. They had performed well and Raven felt both proud and reassured. The late-night host was extremely congenial and offered to take a selfie with the band before they left. The featured guest was some B-list movie star, but that didn't stop the Titans' from excitedly asking for autographs and a group picture. Raven made a mental note to spread the photos on all of their social media when she got home.

It was around suppertime and Richard suggested that they walk around downtown L.A. to look for some good eats before heading back to Jump City. They settled on an Indian place that fulfilled both Kory's preference for bold flavours and Garfield's vegan diet. As they ate in the restaurant's outdoor seating area, Raven let her eyes wander. She casually watched the people on the street, not letting her gaze linger for too long.

Suddenly, her idle observations were interrupted by a flurry of paparazzi that barrelled straight for them. The manager tensed, ready to step in if things got hairy. But instead of stopping to take their picture, the group of photographers flew by, honing in on a completely different subject. They appeared to be following a short, skinny blonde woman and a taller, even skinnier man. Both figures wore sunglasses and baseball caps in an attempt to hide their faces, but their pursuers were relentless. Garfield stared after them with a dreamy look on his face.

"I can't wait to be famous enough for the paps to start chasing me," he mumbled longingly under his breath.

Raven heard him but decided not to say anything back. She was somewhat disturbed by his lofty declaration and wasn't sure how to address it. "Be great careful what you wish for, Garfield," she thought. "Not all that glitters is gold."

There was something incredibly strange about seeing oneself on a television screen, similar to hearing one's voice on an audio recording. The night before, the Titans' performance on James Corden had aired. The band members camped out in Kory and Dick's living room just like they did for the music video, although this time, neither Raven nor Sarah joined them. Sarah had an appointment early the next day and their manager was "too busy". This made Gar wallow in dejection, especially after she rebutted his multiple invitations with cold looks and biting words. He tried not to take it too personally and reasoned that she was probably just stressed out. His disappointment quickly faded when the show started. It was positively thrilling, watching a miniature version of himself rock it out on a studio stage. When it ended, they all went to bed with both Gar and Victor sleeping over.

Now, the four Titans sat in the booth of a diner for a celebratory lunch. It was meant to be a commemoration of sorts, a way to mark yet another milestone in their career. Gar had the terrible habit of looking at his phone during meals and conversations. The device had been practically glued to his hand all morning. He constantly refreshed the pages of news websites like the Jump City Bugle and West Coast Gazette, scanning for articles that reported on their performance. One in particular caught his eye, though it was totally unrelated to the Titans. After reading the first paragraph, Gar felt like he was going to throw up.

"Garfield, are you alright? You are looking a little green," asked Kory as she swallowed a large bite of mustard-covered fries. When Gar didn't answer for several seconds, Kory snatched the phone from his hand and saw that he had been looking at an article published on some trashy online tabloid. It read:

Pop Artist Terra Victim of Leaked Nudes

Beginning Saturday night, several nude and risqué photos of Terra, singer of chart-topping hits "Metamorphosis"and "Countdown", leaked online.

At a press conference this morning, Terra addressed the situation. "It's disgusting" she stated, "those photos were meant for one person and one person only. Whoever did this is sick and should feel ashamed of themselves." While she did not directly name the aforementioned person, many believe she was referring to her alleged boyfriend Billy Strayer, guitarist of punk rock group Hive Five. The pair were photographed a few days ago walking through downtown Los Angeles hand-in-hand.

A spokesperson from Terra's talent agency released a statement confirming the pictures' authenticity. "This is a gross violation of her privacy," said the representative of Wilson Entertainment. "The authorities have been contacted and anyone disseminating or propagating the illegally obtained images will be prosecuted."

Kory passed the phone around to Dick and Victor. They could hardly believe what they were reading and sat in silent shock. Gar felt deeply disturbed and for some reason... Betrayed? While Tara hadn't been his first, she was definitely the most long-term lover he ever had. After almost two years of dating, he had memorized every freckle, every scar and every curve of her body. The thought of the entire world having access to her naked form made him sick to his stomach. The nausea grew even worse when he considered how Tara must be feeling.

Gar abruptly left his seat in the diner with the excuse of needing fresh air. Once he was outside, he dialled a number.

"What do you want, Garfield?" his manager asked.

"...Something happened. Have you looked at the news recently?"

"Not really."

Gar spent the next few minutes relaying his recent discovery to Raven. When he finished, she took a deep breath and said, "I wouldn't be surprised if it's a publicity stunt."

Gar gasped in response. "Are you serious?! How dare you?"

"I don't think Tara is fully complicit, but I wouldn't put it past her manager. The guy's a snake."

"Why the hell would someone's manager ever do that? Isn't he supposed to be looking out for her?"

"Well, it's no coincidence that both she and her boyfriend's band are under the same talent agency. On top of that, her world tour is starting in a month and Hive Five were just announced as headliners for the SXSW Festival next year. The timing is way too good to be true. Wilson must be trying to drum up ticket sales for both of his clients."

"I-I don't believe it. Tara... Sh-she's not like that," Gar stuttered.

"What, she's not one to take nudes? Or to be so reckless about them? Garfield, you need to understand this fundamental truth: When you're a public figure, it's a matter of when, not if, the world finds the skeletons hiding in your closet."

"That's messed up," Gar said with a voice devoid of emotion.

Raven breathed deeply before replying in a sympathetic tone, "Look, I could be wrong. She may very well be an innocent victim in all of this. But you will soon find out that not everything portrayed in the media is as it seems. And fame... It changes people."

Gar went completely quiet. Is this how his parents would feel if he ever got caught up in a scandal? What if someone had been filming at Bunker when he beat up that guy? Would his music career have ended before it even started? And Tara, how was she dealing with all of this? Raven's suspicions echoed in his mind. If this was really a publicity stunt, Gar would lose all respect for his former girlfriend. How desperate would someone need to be to throw away their dignity like that? And if it was all her manager's doing, Tara was in a bad, bad situation. With fierce determination, he asked, "Raven?

"Yes, Garfield?"

"Don't let fame change me. Please, don't ever let me lose sight of who I am."

"Garfield... I-"

"Promise me."

Raven didn't answer right away, but when she did, Gar could feel his entire body relax with relief.

"I promise."

A/N: The shit has officially hit the fan, people! Poor, poor Terra. Girl got herself caught up in a real mess. The psychology of fame is both awful and fascinating. I also felt it was time to start developing Victor's character a bit more, as well as his friendship with Raven. I hope to do the same with Kory and Dick as the story progresses.

For my non-American readers, Thanksgiving falls on the 3rd Thursday of November. Timeline-wise, that's around where we're at.

Till next time, Lily Timbers

Replies to Guest Reviews

Guest: Those two little moments were my favourites too :-) I was tempted to make Raven "forget" everything, but I felt like it would show maturity in both her and Gar to just deal with it like adults. Poor Tara is in deep. The girl literally sold her soul to the Devil when she signed her contract with Slade.

Gura: Thank you my Mexican friend! Greetings from Canada. I hope you are healthy and safe. And thank you for taking the time to leave me a review. I really appreciate it :-)