Jaune was at an impasse, a dead end, an unsolvable problem, a- you know, you get the point. He had no idea what to do.
He had nothing to work on.
To the students, this may seem like a good thing, mostly because they didn't spend their every waking moment contemplating about school business, paperwork, or wondering how their family are doing. Jaune, being the headmaster of a school that has to be able to serve as an independent body, did.
So, he sat in the staff room, sipping on coffee, contemplating about what he should do.
"Eh, kid? The hell's going on?"
"Nothing, Roman."
"Then why do you look like you're having a mid-life crisis?"
"That's the thing, there's nothing. Do you hear any of the students getting into trouble? Do you see any papers from the council I need to sign? Any invoices from Vale I need to dodge? There's nothing. It's been so long since I've had free time, I just, don't know what to do." Roman took a long drag of his cigar before letting out an equally large cloud of smoke.
"Kid, that's really depressing. Are you, ok?"
"No! Roman! When have I not been flooded with paperwork for students, requests from the council, complaints from students, booty calls from Cinder, Willow, and Yang, drunk dials from Salem, complaints from Glynda about you, complaints from you about excessive window placement, complaints from Neo about the cafeteria not having enough ice cream, complaints from EVERYONE about Neo, complaints from parents about my hiring practices, complaints from the council about my hiring practices, complaints from the students about my hiring practices, damage reports from every single sector of our school and every other street of Vale, reports about students smuggling booze, reports about my fan club committing ritual sacrifices, complaints about how Velvet and Cardin are being illegal amounts of lovey dovey, and worst of all, Ozpin trying to get me to direct funds to the coffee club so he can have his own personal stash of the stuff!?"
There was a pause as Jaune heaved for breath and Roman gave him a deadpan stare.
"So, you have the weekend free? Cause, if you don't get some relaxation time, I think your hair will turn grey soon."
"Yea, any ideas?"
"Oh, I have some." Roman's smirk was not comforting in any way, but, Jaune's current idea of relaxation was essentially getting blackout drunk or slipping into a coffee-induced haze, so, he didn't have much of a choice.
_
"You know, now I get why you call named yourself after this. Neopolitan is awesome!" Jaune said, having a double scoop of neopolitan ice cream after Neo insisted. She had her own triple scoop of the stuff while Roman licked at his own orange gelato. She, either due to the ice cream having pacifying effects or being laced with sleeping pills, simply nodded without retort and got to her own treat.
"Yea, this is the life." Roman, for once, was able to stand out in Vale's streets without being chased about by cops. Though a few passing huntsmen and officers did reflexively clutch their weapons at the sight of him (Blake tried to take his head more than once.)
"Do you do this often?" Jaune asked.
"Hmmm, mostly it's just me and Neo in our hideout. Or we go to the only shop that's still open at midnight and willing to serve us. Been a long time since we've been able to enjoy this stuff under the sun." Roman was sitting back, kicking his feet on the small metal table while putting his hat over his eyes. He still managed to eat his gelato without problem.
In his second meeting with the Valean council, Jaune managed to convince them that instead of prison, Roman would serve as a teacher in Beacon as a form of rehabilitation. Pretty much every staff member and student knew that was a load of shit. It did keep him at Beacon and unable to cause too much trouble, so the council were on board with it.
"Does it feel good?"
"Like a million lien, kid."
That opened up a long moment of silence, where the only noises were the pedestrians going about their day and of them enjoying their ice cream.
"You know, I actually haven't gotten to relax like this for months now." The only muscles Jaune was using were his right arm and hand to hold the ice cream and his tongue to lick it. Everything else was loose, his entire form practically draped on the chair.
"Jeez, what about your coffee breaks?"
"Yea, I do those less often now. And even then, it's more like a fast forward. This? Just spending time with some friends? This has been rare." With all the business of running Beacon while also having no clue how to run Beacon, it was a necessity.
"Aw, I'm touched. But what about after hours, when you can sleep?"
"Neo."
"Ah, fair." Neo didn't even mind being mentioned like that, merely shrugging as if it were a normal part of life. Considering how she's been bunking with him for a long while now, it pretty much was.
There was a slight pause as the three of them enjoyed the simple frozen treat, a sacred silence that was rare for the three unfit-to-be-educators. Well, sacred for all of three minutes as Ruby and Yang fell out of a tree, fighting over a pair of binoculars.
"Godamnit."
_
After letting Roman chew them out for poor stalking form, Jaune found himself looking for different means of relaxation. After Roman and Neo finished their snack, he went off to a club. Jaune, meanwhile, found himself feeding the birds in the park.
"Hoho! Take my seed and spread the name of Peter Port!" Jaune found himself with Port as his companion on this outing, somehow.
"Peter, you are so lucky we aren't at school." Jaune could already hear the complaints and the influx of people going to Jinn for counseling.
"Quite, I dare say that Glynda would find a way to make me regret waking up if she were to hear me say that!" She would and she has. Her semblance made her useful in repairing damages as well as torturing people.
"Hmmm, do you do this often?"
"Of course!" Peter chuckled a bit before sitting down on the thin metal bench, making it groan from his weight. His voice took a much softer tone as he looked to the boy. "I'm not getting any younger, you know. When I was a young lad, all I wanted was to be remembered. This is just another way to do it, even if the only people who'll remember are the birds."
"Peter." Jaune offered a sympathetic smile to the old professor.
"Enough of that! I've made my peace and through my efforts, the name Peter Port will be immortal!" Peter began to laugh honestly, which distracted Jaune enough to see a crow pecking in his package of seeds. All of a sudden, the crow defied auto-correct and became Qrow, causing Jaune to stumble with the extra weight.
"Sup Jaune. Got any booze?"
_
"Qrow, do you not have anything else to do right now?" Jaune asked, carrying a bag absolutely stuffed with whatever booze Qrow could get from the liquor store.
"Nope!" Qrow had a jovial smile while saying that, akin to the one he had for Ruby whenever she learned Uncle Qrow was coming to visit.
The two of them entered Qrow's apartment, which became less gloomy and depressing and more chaotic and messy when he flicked on the lights, which were remarkably bright.
"Wouldn't that hurt? You know, constant hangovers? Bright light?"
"Semblance. And my landlord will kill me if I damage the place again." Ah, that explained it. As Jaune settled the booze in the cabinets which were also filled with bottles (half of them empty), Qrow fished out a toolbox and brought out Harbinger in sword form. Jaune, after making sure there weren't any structural flaws, sat down on a chair besides him as Qrow began to oil the machinery of his mecha-shift weapon.
"Never really got why you didn't get a simple weapon. More parts means more malfunctions, doesn't it?" Jaune pulled out Croeca Mors and began to wipe it, mostly to occupy his hands.
"Don't get it, do you?" Qrow twirled Harbinger around a bit before looking at it lovingly. "This beauty's mine. Almost a hundred different moving parts that I forged together to make this. A hundred different moving parts that work in tandem to sing a sharp melody."
"Still, your semblance can't make it easy." As Jaune said that, a gear popped out and caused Harbinger's blade to curl.
"Well, yea. I like to think of my semblance as having a finite effect. As if there's only a certain amount of bad luck that can be drawn to me." Qrow carefully slotted the gear back in without looking, as if he's done it a million times before. "And if all my bad luck is absorbed by this thing? Well, less for my allies to take."
"Hmm, I guess that makes sense. You still should have a backup plan."
"Like what you had? Lets see, sneak into Beacon with no Aura, an over glorified ornament, and absolutely no skills. I still can kick your ass with my fists." Qrow was bragging, which earned a good-natured chuckle from Jaune.
"Hey, I'm a fast learner. Comes with the profession. One day, I'll probably beat you."
"That'll come when I'm flatlining!" Qrow and Jaune shared a good natured chuckle before Jaune felt the cool hum of Harbinger's scythe form coming close to the headmaster's neck. "Oh yea, and, Jaune?"
Jaune gulped. "Yes?"
"Touch either of my nieces and I will show you where Ruby got her skills from, got it?" Quickly turning back to his unfazed appearance, he replied.
"I have absolutely no intentions to take advantage of my position. First of all, I'd hardly need to abuse my position to do whatever you're thinking of, in fact, I've heard Ms. Xiao Long fantasize about me doing exactly that. Second of all, Glynda would flay me." Qrow chuckled a tad.
"Yea. And Jimmy would use this as the first opportunity to get you booted. Well, just thought to let you know. Just in case."
"Got it, Qrow." Jaune was holding his neck, mostly to make sure he wasn't accidentally cut.
_
"No No No! That's not how Old Vale Inquisition would look! And they wouldn't be wielding scythes! And that lie detector was a myth spread hundreds of years later." Jaune never imagined that he would be in Oobleck's home, on the couch, playing video games. Albeit, an RPG set in a medieval Vale.
"Eh, Bart?"
"Yes?"
"I'm pretty sure Sheila will murder us both if you keep on yelling." The mention of his wife got him to gulp. When he arrived at Bart's home for some relaxation (Bart scoffed at Jaune being scandalized at the fact that he didn't work 24/7.), his wife welcomed them in for a nice dinner, where she managed to unleash a passive-aggressive (leaning way towards aggressive) rant about Bart not being around often, which made Jaune consider letting the staff go to Vale more.
It also lead to Jaune realizing that Oobleck loved video games. He had a large collection, though recently he tried mixing his work, passion, and hobby all together. This resulted in him collecting historical video games or at least video games with historic inspirations. There were two types of things Bart said, either bringing up the historic roots of parts of the games or nitpicking the absolute shit out of it. Typically, it was the latter.
"Interesting! Jaune, this pirate crew reminds me of an old Mistralian group that was able to defeat the imperial navy, effectively humiliating it on the world stage." Since a boring cut scene was playing, Jaune decided to indulge the doctor on the topic.
"And how were they able to do that?"
"Well, the imperial army were overconfident in themselves, so they let their navy stagnate. The pirate corps known as the Red Flag Winds were able to use ambush tactics, superior numbers, discipline, and speed in order to terrorize Mistral."
"Hmm, that's a reoccuring element. Like, I think I've heard this before."
"If we do not remember the follies of the past, we are doomed to repeat them in the future. That's why."
"Jeez, I don't know how you can teach this stuff without getting depressed." Bart hummed, his hand shaking in a so-so gesture.
"It's hard to get disheartened. When I see a mistake like the Vale Police Department using unnecessary force against protesters or the rise of a tyrant through applause, I see only another lesson that will be taught in the future. If I have my way, those lessons would only need to be taught once." Oobleck was shining his glasses, looking all introspective while Jaune was hunched over with a controller in hand.
"Have you ever seen something new? It feels like life is nothing but a rehash of a billion years ago."
"Oh, I did. Quite a while ago, I bore witness to something that I have never heard of before."
"And that is?"
"A complete fraud managing to cheat their way past all odds to become a successful, skilled, and beloved leader. You, Jaune, are something of an anomaly. Perhaps it's because we staff are aware of your deceptions, but, I can't recall a single individual whose circumstances you mirror." Jaune actually dropped his controller when he started laughing, which led to Oobleck chuckling as well while lightly slapping his back.
"Yea. What about the whole Ozpin immortal curse thing? Isn't that pretty unique?"
"Ok, fair point." The two of them laughed before getting back to playing the game.
When Oscar asked to go with Jaune to the mall, Jaune, like any good hero (man was he not used to being called that) and/or mentor figure, shrugged and went along with the boy. He was 16, growing to be taller than Ruby now, but still a nervous wreck that hid a true hero beneath it all. He also, like Ruby, marveled at the weapons in the display. Though, instead of actually lethal killing machines, he was looking at bb guns.
"Woahhh, the ratslayer 9000." Oscar was practically drooling at the sight of the sleek metal sniper rifle that shot the tiny metal pellets at speeds and power comparable to a 9mm bullet.
"Interested in it?" Oscar reassembled himself when Jaune spoke, earning a chuckle from the Headmaster at how the boy forgot about his presence.
"Yea. I knew a couple of guys with richer families that had other ratslayer models. I was always stuck with using the pitchfork to deal with them. This thing was in my dreams back at the farm." Oscar looked over the other things in the shop, which were various airsoft items. It seems the shop sold both metal pest guns and toy airsoft weapons.
"Now that's overkill," Jaune said, looking at a minigun in the display.
"Yea. Oh. Right! Ozpin said that I should get a new mug, since I accidentally broke the last one." Oscar was sheepish, ruffling the back of his head while walking towards an artisan clay-work store.
"Why do I get the feeling you come here often?"
"Why, Mr. Arc, how many times did you think my mug's been shattered?"
_
"Mhmm! This is great!" Jaune had eaten a mini-slice of cake he ordered from a small cafe Glynda offered to take him to. The two of them sat between a large dish filled with similarly adorably small pastries that looked so good that Jaune was ever so slightly hesitant to eat them.
That hesitation died when he found out they tasted awesome. It didn't even resuscitate at the sight of Glynda staring at him for indulging.
With a sigh and sip of her tea, she began to eat as well. He could tell by the smile forming on her lips that she was enjoying the treats as much as he did.
"How did you find this place, anyways?" he asked.
"Hmmm, it was a long time ago. When I was still just a huntress. After long and stressful days, I came here to have a treat. I thought you could use the same thing." Jaune smiled at the gesture.
"Thanks, Glynda." The rest of their time was them silently enjoying the treat, washed down with the occasional sip of tea or coffee as a palate cleanser.
_
"Didn't know you enjoyed fishing." Sienna and Jaune were at Vale's docks, sitting in lawn chairs, and each holding a rented fishing rod. Besides them was a plastic bucket they found drifting in the sea that they were using to catch the fish they caught.
"It's a relaxing way to pass the time." Sienna had sunglasses on, so still some might've mistaken her for sleeping. To Jaune, she recognized it as her waiting for the right time to strike. And when her rod began to bend, she struck swiftly. The fish practically jumped from the sea to the bucket before swimming around in the water.
"Yea, it is." Aside from an hour or so ago when they had to bribe Blake with some of their fish to not tell Yang or Neo where he was, it was smooth sailing.
"Did you do this often?" Jaune asked, mostly to fill time.
"Yes, on Menagerie. And even before that. When I was young, I had nothing. Fishing was the first time I ever felt the thrill of earning something, without anyone ripping it away. It's satisfying."
"I know what you mean." Jaune said, reeling in a particularly large bass.
After a while, the two of them managed to fill up their bucket, where upon they began going back in order to find a way to use all the fish.
"You know, I wonder why I don't take time off like this more." Jaune thought back to the last time he took time off, which was months ago when Coral's book series received a movie adaptation, so he had to go to its premier. He couldn't help but feel a chill up his spine when he did so, a chill like the one he felt in Atlas.
"Paperwork, paperwork, more paperwork. Oh yea, parent teacher conferences are coming in two weeks. Better start preparing for those." Jaune let out a long groan before realizing something.
"Wait, I'm not a teacher! Why do I have to do that sort of thing!?"
"I suppose with all the classes it makes sense for one meeting with the Headmaster instead of multiple with the other teachers. Also, I heard that Ozpin pawned that duty off to the janitors."
"Oh. Fair." And with that, he got back to the only thing that mattered to him at that moment: Ignoring anything and everything related to work.
_
PMHG Side Story:
It was official, Paula Olympia hated her team.
This was the thought she always had in the morning, when she woke up to her scroll bleeping by her side. She was on the top bunk and, on instinct at this point, had stopped her alarm before Gil could wake up and smash her scroll. It happened to her before, it'll likely happen to her more.
Then, Jodela whistled while coming back from a shower, having used up the hot water. How did she know? Because she's done this before. A lot, actually.
The only person on her team that she could even slightly tolerate was Henry and even then, he got on her nerves. She shook herself awake and hopped down from the top of her bed, going to the bathroom for a cold shower before getting dressed.
When she got back, she saw what she normally saw: Jodela was toying around on her scroll, Henry was busy cleaning his medical tools, and Gil was staring out the window. This was a fragile peace at best, which shattered when she came out and Gil strode towards the bathroom door, causing Henry to fumble with a scalpel and almost cut a finger.
"O-ow!" He preemptively said, making sure he didn't cut himself. Paula sighed, aura would make any wound pointless anyways.
And as always, Gil walked by, uncaring of whatever damages he caused. For a moment, Henry held a glare at Gil's back, but it subsided quickly. She simmered a tad at that, did he really have no spine!? Why couldn't he just work up the guts to tell Gil to mind where he goes!?
Jodela, like clockwork, got up. She wore her puffy jacket on top of her uniform, which always made Paula twitch. It was just from how trashy the thing looked. It also clashed with the uniform, but Jodela made it quite clear she wasn't going to change it.
So this was her team. Jodela, a total ass who definitely acted like a student from Shade, except even worse when it came to their 'might makes right' view. Gil, an egotistical loudmouth who proclaims himself the king of kings. And Henry, a coward who couldn't even confront someone who tripped them over.
And Paula recognized the signs of lying in all three of them. Jodela was clearly hiding something behind that sly grin, Gil's personality felt too bombastic to be real, and Henry was obviously holding back his feelings until they eventually flood out.
And did she mention her class sucked!? Jodela was failing anything that wasn't Professor Goodwitch's combat class and Professor Torchwick's deception class.
"Typical." Paula couldn't help but mutter when Jodela said she picked the class. Needless to say, Jodela rolled her eyes but didn't say more.
Gil was surprisingly decent at academics and was as good at combat classes as expected. The problem was that he was just so loud! He wouldn't shut up for the life of him!
Henry excelled at the theory side of the curriculum, but in spars he always held himself back. He was actually near the bottom of the leaderboards, always being knocked out of bounds or having his aura smashed. He put up a fight, but he was definitely more of a support fighter with his singular pistol.
After Gil came out and put on his uniform (it took a while to convince him to wear the bloody thing and he still didn't put on his tie or fully button up the inner-most layer, making him look more like a half-assed playboy with the confidence to boot), they all headed to breakfast.
On the way, she made sure to look appreciatively at the clothes and bodies of all her fellow classmates. She didn't even try hiding it, why bother? Everyone who went to the school looked good, well, almost everyone. Hissingker always remained behind an odd gas mask, but he still had his charms.
And her seniors looked even better. From her family (Especially Era) she gained an appreciation for fashion. Even if everyone wore their uniform. Rose's cape added to her charm, Ren had an intriguing habit of not making any noise when he walked, and Professor Goodwitch was a 10/10.
And then they made it to Breakfast. After ordering their food, they all got to eating. Henry was alright, keeping to himself while eating, occasionally glancing at his scroll. Really, 'alright' kind of described the so-called prodigy in general. Still, the fact he was so silent kind of made it hard for her to socialize, it was like he was a total stranger.
And in a way, he was. Weren't the teams in Beacon supposed to be family? She'd have to complain about false advertising someday.
Gil, oddly enough, was the best of them there. Gladly eating his food with otherwise rarely shown grace, something that Paula had to (grudgingly) feel thankful for. She remembered when she asked about it before.
"For someone who shouts constantly and refuses to wear a shirt, you sure do eat politely." His answer was on-brand though.
"Does it not make sense for a king to set an example for all their future subjects?" Still, he made gruff conversation with his partner, mostly to ascertain a few things or deliver a few insulting (yet true) assessments.
The worst of her teammates during breakfast was Jodela, who, whenever Paula turned away, always snatched a sausage, piece of bread, or a pancake from her plate.
And so, as per usual, she retaliated by stealing from her as well. By the end of breakfast, they'd both eaten half of each others meal.
"Tied again," Jodela sighed.
"I'll beat you next time."
"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that."
"And why is that?"
"We have Grimm Studies." Oh shit. That means she would have to not let her attention slip for an excruciatingly long time in an excruciatingly boring class. And if she let her guard down once, Jodela was sure to do something to her. Last time she settled on drawing on her face, which got a laugh out of Port and Gil.
"I'll win." Paula was competitive, that much she could admit. She always wanted the last laugh and she also hated it when people couldn't just say what they felt.
"Sure, partner." And so the school bell rang and team PMHG made their way to Grimm Studies. If Paula was honest, she found Professor Port insufferable for his ridiculously long-winded stories. Unlike her classmates, she made sure to tell the Professor this after class on her first day. The Professor was certainly amused.
"Hah! You've got guts to say that. And manners to bring it to me in private. Well then, go on with your day. I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest," were his exact words.
The day's class was yet another lecture from the man about a seafaring Grimm, one that mimicked old Northern Mistralian raiders. Jodela was trying to get a rise out of Paula, to make her embarrass herself in public. Olympia was poked with pencils, whispered things, and saw Jodela make some obscene gestures to try and make her flush.
Paula wasn't about to let that happen, and tickled the back of Jodela's neck, which made her screech, "EEP!" and slam her head on her desk. That made the entire class look at her.
"Well then! I know my tales are scary, but I didn't know you got so immersed! Now, where was I?" Jodela's expression was a mix of embarrassment, retaliatory anger, and joy from having something to do.
Paula, smiled. She didn't know why she went here except it being the end point of her training. If she wanted to protect civilians, she'd go out into the frontier and protect them there. Her drive was lacking. But now? She had something to wake up for in Beacon. Now she had a reason to be the best she could.
Even if that reason was to see the look on her partner's face when she was beaten.