One of my favourite Reggae Artists; Beres Hammond, sent a mix album out a few weeks ago and I just had to give him a big up, sorry if there's no story in the midst of all my fav songs of his, love this old school stuff grew up on it
Choices
Sam and Mercy had been together for two nearly years, the relationship was still in it's new stage mainly because Sam worked away from home, they didn't live together just yet life was too hectic.
Sam's job as a Travel Blogger meant he was travelling all over the world for his employers mapping out routes for their ever demanding holiday makers, just landing on an Island and relaxing on a beach wasn't anyone's idea of holidaying now a days, they wanted to country hop, have hotel stop overs and timed travel, as well as have a good idea what they were liable to see on their travel as well as mapped out hot spots. It had been four weeks since he'd been home, he was sat in a two star hotel trying to write it up as a zero star unrecommending it after seeing the kitchens, thinking he was hungry and needed to find somewhere half decent to eat. He'd tagged these three extra day on because Mercy was busy and he didn't want to stop her getting her thing done by being there demanding her attention, sitting here now he was already regretting it, and with so much spare time on his hands he'd talked himself into having a conversation when he got back, that was going to be difficult
Mercy had her own business she manufactured a up and coming reputable underwear line, she'd been a bit ambitious about it but when the contract landed on her lap she couldn't say no, she'd been waiting for years for a big break in this business, she took on more staff, worked around the clock for three weeks and was well on the way to meeting her contractual deadline with just one day left to go. It had worked out well because Sam had finally been in touch to tell her he was coming back on Friday, she was sure she'd have finished this order and they could get the weekend to themselves, she needed to have a conversation, her nerves were showing the closer Friday got
Sam got off the plane on Friday afternoon and went straight home, Mercy would be at work until at least 6pm that gave him chance to get some washing done have a long soak, and get over to hers before she got home, he longed for some home comforts. He finally grabbed some clothes, threw them in his overnight bag, grabbed his keys and headed over to hers
"Hi" he smiled walking in to see her unexpectedly sitting on the couch
"Hi" she jumped up and ran towards him, crying
"Don't cry" he hugged her laughing at how much she missed him "I missed you too"
"Sorry I guess I've just been excited about you getting back" she looked up at him pecking his waiting lips
"I hear my friend Beres has been keeping you company" he smiled as they stood looking into each others eyes as 'Think she just love this groovy little thing we got going, and it will last as long as our hearts are beating, the women just love this groovy little thing we got going, and it will last as long as our hearts are beating' 'Groovy Little Thing' played in the background "I..." he looked down at her wanting to have this conversation he'd promised himself he was going to have but he craved her, dangerously craved her, so much so it frightened him, his mouth took hers and his mind left him, her touch sending shivers down his spine as they moved over him, he wanted this but he didn't want this, he took it anyway, there was no strength to resist. She was inside him, he was inside her they were the perfect fit, they didn't need words to communicate their needs in bed, or even in general, they'd know when the other needed holding, leaving alone, encouraging everything, so where was this resistance coming from, what was stopping him, he had to listen to his mind, never mind what his heart was telling him
"Sam" Mercy sat up in bed propped up by a stack of pillows, watching him sat at the bottom of the bed "I need to say something"
"Yeah" he blew out hard "I need to talk too" he turned to look at her for a second "You go first" he sat with his back to her as she spoke
Choice 1
"Yeah well..." she took a breath "We've been seeing each other for nearly two years now and I think we fit, I was just wondering if you'd be up for taking this to the next level?"
"Next level?"
"Yeah like becoming officially official"
"Official?"
"I'm getting an echo I didn't expect here"
"Sorry it's just that...Sorry carry on" he turned to look at her
"Well that was it really I just wanted to know how you felt about us making this official"
"Well I was going to ask if we could have an open relationship, I mean I'm into you and everything, it's just we spend so much time apart and well... four weeks is a long time"
"What you slept with someone else?"
"No, I wouldn't do that, but I feel restricted sometimes, I mean you know the opportunities have come up I just.. well I don't roll like that" he looked up at her finally "I mean it's just a lot of pressure I could do without, I'm too young to be tied down and stuff, but I still want to see you, like this I mean"
"What, so when your in town you'll just pass over, if your in the mood and fuck?" she asked angry but confused at the same time
"That makes it sound bad, I don't want us to argue about this, I really don't mean it in a bad way, and I don't have anyone lined up or anything"
"So" she couldn't hold back the cry that came out, it took a while for her to compose herself as he sat wanting to touch her, comfort her, but somehow he didn't think she'd appreciate that right now "That fact that I love you counts for nothing?"
"I sort of love you too, I'm not asking for the end here"
"No you're asking my permission to fuck anything you want"
"No I'm asking for …. maybe I am" he looked in her eyes as he spoke, there was too much there, this was hurting, maybe it was already too late to distance himself, maybe he'd already fallen in love with her
"I need you to leave Sam" she looked back at him, her eyes the darkest brown she was so hurt
"I'll give you a couple of hours" he got up telling her 'You're clinging tighter and tighter baby, than you ever have before, and I know it's gonna take everything 'I've got, to keep walking out that door... ' playing the background, he wanted to smile for his man singing the chapters to his life all the while but this was heart breaking, he wondered if he should just smile and take it all back because this was hurting him more than it was hurting her, and she was hurting 'I'm gonna walk away from love, before love breaks heart...' 'Walk Away From Love'
"I don't want a couple of hours Sam, if you walk out now don't come back" she turned her back to him as she spoke
"I'm not leaving Mercy, I'm just giving you some time, I'll be back" his voice stern
"Are you not hearing me?" she spun round asking him "I asked you to leave, and please don't come back"
"I didn't ask for that"
"But that's what I'm asking for" she confirmed, watching him still walking towards the door without his bag
"Why have you blown this up?" he spun round asking
"Me" she gasped "You're the one who's walked in here talking about open relationships, fucking who you want, if that's what you want fine, but I want no part of it, I'm looking for someone who respects me enough to want to be exclusive with me, who thinks I'm enough"
"I didn't say you weren't enough"
"Sam" she called walking towards him grabbing his bag as she passed it "Take your shit" she threw the bag at him pushed him out the open door and slammed it shut
She cried for hours, she'd thought they were going somewhere, she'd actually invested time into getting to know him, being his friend, falling in love with him and he comes at her with an open relationship, how the hell did she get this so wrong.
Choice 2
The following weekend and it was that awkward party she was going to have to attend, well wedding actually, they; as in Sam and her, were expected to attend her Dad's third wedding, to some girl three years older than her, he'd been such a sleaze since her Mom had passed. He'd been broken at the funeral, swore he'd never love another woman again, three months later he sold everything he had, passed all the money to Mercy and moved into a government building, she'd gone along with it for a while but when it looked like he was getting ready to join her Mom she stepped in. Within a week he was living in one of those respite villages with other people his age, getting himself a social life again with the encouragement of the flirtatious women his age around the place and suddenly he was smiling again. About three years later Mercy set up her underwear line and he became interested in the younger fairer sex, his first wife was in her early 40s and was definitely all in for the money, Mercy got her to sign a prenup which kept her interested in the marriage for about 5 months. The second one was the same age as Mercy and after months of speculation, they finally actually found out that her boyfriend was living in the house and having relations while her Dad was knocked out on alcohol every night, she swiftly left with the production of the photos. And now this one presented as a Blond, and proved everything they ever said about blonds was a damn lie, she was as dumb as a bat and she wasn't white or even a natural blond, Mercy doubted she had the sense to con her Dad, but went through the process anyway, she still acted like she was getting the prize.
"Shit" she spat lugging her bags into her car ready for the journey, smiling at the sun, she had no intention of letting the events of the past week stop her from getting her bitch on with this damn woman that was making fun of being her step Mom at every opportunity.
"Mercy" Sam stood behind her calling, she could hear nothing she had music going on in her ears keeping her happy, getting her in her drive mode "Mercy" he touched her back as her booty wiggled to the tune she was hearing
"What?" she spun round fast for the intrusion "Sam" she gasped rolling her eyes in relief when she saw him "I was just about to start slapping, why are you touching me?"
"Sorry, I was calling you for a while" he stood with his case by his leg and a suit over his arm "I woke up this morning and thought about the wedding, I didn't know if …"
"You're not coming with me, I'll make your excuses"
"That's fine I just hadn't told the folks anything about us yet, and I didn't know if you had, or even if you wanted the hassle of having to tell them right now, I was thinking about you"
"Well don't, I'm fine"
"Mercy we don't have to be like this" his shoulders dropped "I just asked for some space that's all"
"Sam believe me, for my sanity I have to be like this" she turned back to the car finished what she was doing, got in and drove away
Sam stood watching her drive away, he sucked air through his teeth, she was being so unreasonable "Fuck it" he hissed walking away with his belongings, he was going to live his life
Mercy drove for about an hour making her way, she stopped for brunch at some dodgy café, Sam would have probably decided against it, but she wasn't living for Sam now she was living for herself, she sat people watching for a while before getting back on her way, she was singing along to the music blasting on her radio when she suddenly felt green around the gills "Serves you right" she held her stomach telling herself, suddenly it was all she could do to stop at the side of the road to empty her guts on the roadway "Shit" she stood waiting for more the feeling was there but nothing was happening, she took a sip of her water waited a while and then got back on the road. She stopped a few more times along the way before she finally got to her destination some five hours later smiling falsely at the sight of Melany on the front lawn, waving like they were best friends
"Mercedes" she walked up to the car smiling "At last people my own age"
"Melany" Mercy replied wondering if this woman hadn't noticed they were all her Dad's age because he was an old man
"Where's Sam?" she asked looking in the car, to anyone else it would have been obvious in a second that she was alone in the car
"He's working, he couldn't get out of it" she smiled, she was going to be doing a lot of that this weekend "Where's Dad?"
"He's in the kitchen entertaining" Melany replied, Mercy left the bags and went off to find her Dad
"I'll bring them in shall I?" Melany asked after her, she turned to acknowledge the question but didn't answer, just smiled as Melany started taking her bags out
Walking fast through the front door and heading to the kitchen, something was suddenly urgent "Daddy" she burst through the kitchen door shouting, bursting out into a cry, unsure why but she needed it
"Sweetheart, what's up?" he asked hugging her when she fell into his arms
"I'm fine I guess these are happy tears" her head still on his chest as she spoke
"My daughter everyone" he giggled talking to the few people in the kitchen "Total drama queen and I love her"
Mercy smiled through the whole fiasco, vomiting every now and again and turning up looking much the worse for wear on the actual wedding day, everyone seemed to be talking about her more so than the bride. On the Sunday before she went back she finally decided something was wrong, went to the chemist and brought a test, stuffed it in the front of her bag and made for home, the journey was full of questions, ones she really didn't need to ask, she knew the answers.
She got home, put her washing on did her test before jumping in the bath, she had some thinking to do, rolling her eyes three minutes later when the test showed up positive "Fuck" she hissed, she hadn't played it safe she knew that, she'd missed taking her pill so many times over the past few months she was actually surprised this had only just happened. Later that night as the reality of her situation kicked in she cried some more, needing to speak to someone, she really didn't know what she was going to do she sat on the information for a few days before surprising herself by calling Melany
"Melany" she cried when she picked her phone up
"Mercy girl what's up?"
"I just need someone to talk to, someone that doesn't know Sam" she sobbed
"You're pregnant aren't you?"
"How did you know?"
"I've been there girl" she told her followed by a silence "I made my choice and well, I... what are you going to do?"
"I'm not ready for this, I mean I can't be a single Mom, I don't want to trap him into being with me, I have plans you know"
"This has to be your choice girl, I can only listen" Melany told her Mercy didn't think she was being particularly helpful but then what did she expect her to say
"I judge people who have been in this position and took the cowards way out so much, and here I am thinking of becoming a hypocrite"
"This isn't about people or how you've thought in the past, it's about you now and in the future" Melany's voice was suddenly grown up, they were having a conversation, an adult one "You can't think like that, give it till I get back there's no rush, I'll come down and we can talk better"
"Okay" she smiled seeing some hope "Thanks Melany, I just didn't have anyone else to talk to about this" she told her before putting the phone down feeling a bit lighter for sharing her load
Two weeks later and as agreed Melany was sitting in her living room watching her make a tearful decision "I'm here Mercy, whatever you choose, I'll support you" she held Mercy's crying frame telling her
"I'll be fine" she finally sat up telling her "I'm ready" she got up patting her skirt down as she searched her pod for music "I'm just going to get into my zone" she held her headphones up telling Melany 'Now ain't it really really really funny, how life can be so simple. you have the greatest joy of your life just yesterday, and tomorrow you're gone just like a twinkle, life has it's ups and downs, you don't know when, it's gonna turn around. there are booby traps and landmines along the way, one careless mistake can be your fate' 'Life'
Of course she cried all the way through the procedure, but right now for her there was no other option, clearly Sam wasn't ready for something like that and she wasn't in any good place to be thinking about looking after a child alone. Yes many women had done it but at this point in her life she really didn't want to be one of them, Melany stayed with her for a few days, and was very supportive returning home vowing never to breath a word to anyone about what she'd done
Choice 3
Sam had watched Mercy drive away to face her family and the wedding alone, that was what she wanted, he stood thinking he'd sked for this, he'd wanted these feeling out of his head, she was right, he shouldn't mess with her head like this just because he had feelings, feelings he didn't want to act on "Move on" he told himself as he walked back to his pad,
He dropped his bag at the door flung his suit over it, checked his pocket for his wallet and left the flat, he was going to drink her out of his mind and find something to fill this gap she'd left that he really didn't know what to do with. He ended up at a bar, as good a place to start, but drinking alone was never the best thing to do, he'd invested so much of his time into Mercy without even knowing it, he'd lost touch with his friends, what was happening in the world of socialising everything, he sat watching the afternoon crowd get slowly wrecked and fall into argument mode, getting dangerously close to his spot before he decided he needed to leave
Heading towards their favourite nightclub he knew she wouldn't be anywhere near there tonight he was safe, he sat as the sounds of reggae dancehall filled his ears, he'd grown to like that scene, he'd get into a vibe quick, the only trouble was that vibe had Mercy flashing all over it, he had to shake his head a couple of times to get her out, smiling at the welcome distraction with a rather attractive female occupied the seat next to him
"Sup?" she asked as she sat down smiling at him
"Nothing" he replied, his mind asking itself if he even wanted this attention now it was here
"You looked like you wanted to buy a girl a drink" she grinned "I thought I'd come over and put you out of your misery" he didn't answer he just held his hand up and brought her a drink, he liked the move
After names were exchanged they danced for a while before they sat talking about anything and everything, he felt comfortable, somehow they ended up in bed that night and it carried on for the weekend, by Saturday night he was standing in his bathroom mirror asking himself "Who the fuck was Mercy Jones again?" smiling that she was out of his system
Sunday evening and they sat chilling, he couldn't really find anything to say but she wasn't bothered, sex wasn't all that but right now it was helping him forget, he liked not feeling, this hadn't happened in a long while, he sat watching her flicking through his record collection, reminding him of Mercy looking for her favourite Beres Album every time she came to his place, that was their mood, suddenly he didn't want this woman in his place "Sorry, Angel was it?" he looked at her for confirmation
"Yeah" she giggled looking to see if he was joking
"You have to go, I need to get to work" he told her
"I thought I'd crash here"
"I think not, I'm not leaving you in my pad" he frowned at her "You need to get dressed"
"So I'll see you later?"
"I'll call" he turned to tell her, alarm bells going off in his head, why didn't this woman want to go home "Maybe" he watched as she reluctantly moved around getting her things together and finally step out the door, he grabbed the sheets off the bed and threw them in the washing machine, cleaned the cups and stuff and got rid of any evidence she'd been there, before he sat down to really think about what he'd done, he wasn't thinking with his dick right now. He smiled as he turned his pod on to hear Beres singing out 'I'd like to tell you a story about what one dance can do, one dance can do, one dance can do, now listen up, after one dance on the floor, she came back, wanting for more, for more, now I don't know what it is that I've got, what she whispered it was so nice, so nice' 'What One Dance Can Do' he laughed out loud at Beres yet again singing his life
The next day he went off to work for four weeks, Angel, unknown to him until he got the call, had at some point, taken his mobile number and called him telling him she needed to see him "As long as you know this is closure" he told her he'd just come out of one relationship he really didn't need another one, not right now anyway.
He got home to see her sitting in his lobby looking very green "Sam" she jumped up when she saw him
"Angel" he looked around before taking her upstairs in silence to his pad "What do you need to hear?" he spun round asking her
"That you want to be a Dad I guess"
"What?" Sam gasped "No fucking way, I don't even know you, no way"
"I guess we need to have this conversation then"
"There is no conversation, get rid of it" he hissed at her "Why didn't you use protection"
"Why didn't you?" she stood staring at him "I haven't made my mind up yet what I want to do"
"Whatever you're doing get rid of it, if that's not your option I want nothing to do with it" he told her, the only thing flashing through his mind right now was Mercy, what she'd say, how she'd feel, how he loved her "Fuck" he hissed not at Angel but for actually admitting to himself for the first time he actually loved her "Look Angel, I don't want children, and furthermore I don't want them with you, we were just a hook up, surely even you can see this is a recipe for disaster"
"I'm scared, I mean I want children in the future, when I get married and stuff, you know the proper way?"
"I know the proper way" he smiled "But that's not going to be with me"
"I didn't think so either I just wanted you to know, to have that choice, you know?"
"And I respect you for that but no, I don't want children with you"
"So will you come with me.. to the clinic I mean?"
"Of course"
"I've set it up for 2pm tomorrow, I'll pass by pick you up"
"Okay"
About 1pm?"
"Yeah" Sam followed her to the door watching her walk out of it before shutting it behind her "How the fuck?" he rested on the door asking himself "How fucking stupid" he wiped he beads of sweat from his forehead 'I could beat myself ahh yes... I could, beat myself! ohh Lord Lord, oooh ooh I'm hurting, hurting inside, oooh ooh I'm hurting' singing in his head, if this felt like a smile moment he couldn't find it Beres was battering him with truth 'I Could Beat Myself'
The next day he got up as usual, made to call Mercy a few times she was heavy on his mind today, he needed to talk and she was his go to person, he cried, surprising himself, he was getting rid of any evidence showing that him and that random ever crossing paths he should have been pleased, but that whatever it was in there, was a part of him, and even though he really didn't want it, he was losing something today.
Angel turned up, they went to the clinic and did the deed, there was no hand holding, whispers of reassurance, he sat realising he'd gone to make sure she actually went through with it, he didn't need this shit coming back at him. He sat in his pad thinking about where his life could have gone with that vowing never to do that again, he looked around his place once more making sure any evidence of that woman was gone Mercy was never to find out about this because that would surely be the end of them.
Choice 4
Sam was feeling guilty for a different reason, he'd realised he'd been in love with Mercy from the off, he was bricking it about this feeling he had, he always felt like he was falling when he was around her not the bouncing castle underneath him sort of falling more like the crashing aeroplane type fall, when you realise you got the dud parachute, real scary stuff, he didn't like the out of control feeling he had around her, so much so he'd chosen to run rather than ride with it and break his fucking legs on the crash landing. "Big mistake" he sat thinking one evening when realisation hit him, he couldn't live without her, all this masking he was doing wasn't working and that random shit, well it didn't happen, he sang along to his favourite Beres song pretending Mercy was sitting there smiling back at him "Don't make her promises that you can't fulfil, you've done it before, it's amazing she loves you still, boy, this won't be, no no no no not like the last time, I spoke with words so gentle and made her feel fine, now my cup is running over, oh the pain is so strong, I can't go no further, either or either, it's now or never, come to me now, or stay forever" 'Either or Either' (Adapted)
Guilt wasn't a strong enough word for the way Mercy was feeling, the weeks had took their toll on her, she'd loved that man with everything she was and having his baby would have been the icing on the cake for her, but his heart wasn't there and what good was half a dream, she knew that her mind told her that, but her heart was hurting for the choice she'd made. There was no getting away from the feelings she had for him, truth be told she'd take him any which way, but she was a jealous woman, she smiled as Beres came to talk to her again smiling at his comforting words 'I'd like to know that we still can get it on, and if you're willing, I can forget the things you've done, things like hurting, like suffering and standing in the rain, I don't know what you're playing but it sure is a dirty game, cause now my cup is full and running over, pain is so strong I can't go no further, either or either, it's now or never, come to me now or stay forever' 'Either or Either'
"It's now" Sam jumped up telling himself, he grabbed his keys and left the house, he'd made his decision, he knew where he was going but his belly was flipping at the thought, unfortunately for her he wasn't leaving until he go the answer he wanted "Mercy" he walked in using his key, he hadn't even asked if she'd wanted it back "We need to talk" he looked at her shocked face as she sat on the couch, her mouth open with nothing coming out
"Sam" she finally said "What are you doing here?" was all she could find, damn stupid question she knew but it was something
"I made a mistake I was scared of this feeling I have for you, it's just so strong, it's frightening and I guess I ran" he collapsed in the couch beside her "I love you Mercy I've been fighting it for so long, trying to get my heart to do what my minds telling me, but I can't get you out of it and now your out my life, I can't do anything without you in it, sick isn't it?" he stopped to look at the blank expression on her face "Where the fuck is Beres when I need him?" he rolled his eyes knowing he wasn't making himself vary clear
"You're making yourself more than clear Sam six weeks ago, you didn't want to be exclusive and now you want something else, your damn mind changes so quick, do you really expect me to carry the same characteristics?"
"I really don't expect anything Mercy, I just needed to tell you what was going on for me and hope that something can he salvaged of our relationship, I guess I'm telling you it meant something to me"
"I think that was what I was telling you six weeks ago, but things change Sam"
"What you've met someone else?"
"No I just don't..." she needed to be careful what she said here "Don't think your really ready for the serious relationship I need right now"
"But I'm sitting here telling you I am"
"Really?" she sat looking at him all that was going through her mind was that three weeks ago she had his baby in her and because he wasn't offering this, she hadn't got it anymore and hell would freeze over before she shared that snippet of information with him "I'd need to think about this Sam, your asking me to take a leaf of faith" she sat looking into space
Sam saw his moment, he could tell her everything right now, get it all out on the table and they'd deal with it and carry on, but would they, would she just see it as the reason he'd asked for an open relationship in the first place, she was bound to think he'd got that random hanging on somewhere in the background before they had that conversation, it all happened too fast. Then to add to the mix this random gets pregnant, after a short weekend filled with more blow jobs than actual sex, it was all too risky "I can work with that" he finally looked up at her saying, that was all he had
"That's all you got to work with" she smiled
"Have you had lunch yet, we could go get something or I could cook something, your choice"
"Cook something" she smiled watching him get up to o do just that, she couldn't deny herself this man, there was no one else for her, she could search a lifetime and there'd be no one, there was none that could fill his shoes so what the hell was she waiting for. She smiled at his face concentrating on the meal he was cooking, he loved the kitchen but he loved the pleasing look on her face when she liked his dish more, he seemed to get quietly turned on by it, she on the other hand got quietly turned on at the sight of the man standing in her kitchen 'but what am I going to tell him about the baby? nothing' her smile hit the floor as the sadness of their relationship taking a new turn, she was omitting truths now
"You alright?" Sam looked over at her asking "You seem to be deep in thought, you're not stressing about what I said are you?"
"No" she smiled "Actually I'm warming to the idea" she got up and put her tracks on
Sam stood concentrating on what he was cooking thinking, he didn't want to pressure her into anything, for him this had come natural and he needed it to be the same for her, otherwise it wouldn't be worth it "This is it, this is what I wanted to say" he pointed at the pod as Beres sang out 'Your happiness is my desire, every moment every hour, this true fire for you, yeah so if you need some time, to turn it over in your mind, please tell me this, girl I want see you tomorrow, hey girl if I cant be your man..." 'See You Tomorrow' he smiled at her as Beres sung his feelings right now, he finished cooking, they sat eating and talking, trying to sort them out, he finally left with a promise that she'd have an answer for him in twenty four hours, he was good with that
Mercy already knew her answer she'd have him back in a heartbeat on any terms, she missed him that much, now he'd come back offering her commitment she wanted to snap his hand off, but she couldn't be a fool about it, he had to sweat first, she lay thinking about him all night, not even wanting to think about sleep
Sam hadn't even known the meaning of the word stress until he got home in the quiet of the night, when he realised Mercy had the key to his future in her hands, he was totally in a unable to think, feeling sick, shaking and panicking, stressed state of mind. He got his phone out several times ready to just shout down it 'just make your damn mind up already' the only thing stopping him was the fact that he didn't think he'd get a positive response from it
They were both happy to see daybreak, mid morning and Sam was watching his mobile, waiting for the call "Hi" he gasped down the phone answering after just one ring
"That was quick" Mercy laughed
"I had the phone in my hand" he told her, not mentioning it ha been in his hand for the past three hours
"Do you want me to come over?"
"No I'll come to you" he looked around his flat, shadows of his random passing through his mind, she didn't need to be here in that "Twenty minutes" he told her, clicking the phone off and grabbing his jacket and keys
He was pleasantly surprised when he walked in to see her sharing a meal out for them "I thought I'd return the favour, from last night" she smiled
"Mercy" he frowned even now she was stretching out the torcher
"I chose you Sam, every damn time I chose you" she smiled at him, watching as he crossed the room in maybe three steps to get to her
"Thank you" he smiled grabbing her lips and pulling her to him before she could say anything "God I missed you" he smiled rolling his eyes
"I know" she giggled as he moved her around the room at that man telling them their lives again 'These arms of mine they are burning, burning from wanting you, these arms of mine, they are wanting, wanting to hold you, and if you would let them hold you, oh, how grateful I will be' 'These Arms of Mine'
"Even Beres wants us to be together" he laughed
"Well if Beres says it" she laughed with him "Food" she told him once the song finished and he'd let her go, just like that they'd slipped back into their random mode, singing at each other when the mood took them, when Beres got under their skin or impromptu dancing around the room, love was back
"I'm thinking of giving up my flat and moving in here" he announced as they lay in bed the next morning catching breath
"In here?"
"Yeah it makes sense you have three rooms I only have one, at least there's breakout space for arguments and stuff" he laughed
"Arguments?" she asked
"I'm getting an echo I didn't expect here"
"Sorry it's just so sudden"
"I've had six weeks to think about it Mercy, I want in, all in"
"Okay" she smiled kissing his chest before settling back on it, she was definitely burying that secret, her hand moving up and down his chest as she lay thinking. Sam's hand was stroking her back all the way down to her cleft slowly as they took in the quiet, his silent promise to never utter a word firmly in his mind
Choice 5
Eight months in and things had settled for the new Sam and Mercy, they were happy, more than happy actually, Sam was still doing his job away for weeks at a time and Mercy had got two new big contracts meaning she was hiring, expanding, being a girlfriend and networking all inside her 168 hours a week job, she'd even started staying over at conferences, meetings and various shows she was being encouraged to get involved with.
"Babe" Sam peeped his head out the bathroom "You remember I'm off tonight right?"
"I remember, you remember I wont be here on that Thursday you get back, I'm in Washington, right?"
"I remember" he smiled at her saying "But you remember Friday is ours"
"I have a new potential buyer coming in late this afternoon, so I wont be coming to see you off"
"Suppose I'll get you off instead" he walked up to her pushing her back on their bed
"Shit Sam, my hair" she giggled, taking what he was giving her "I'm going to be late now" she got up some time later trying to get her hair controlled again, they finally get to goodbyes and Mercy leaves for work, she was the boss she wasn't even on a timer but she still felt obliged to be there
"Miss Jones" her PA attacked her in the usual way when she walked into the building reeling off a list of things she needed to get done that day
"Just make sure I've got coffee, everything else can run, what's first?" she looked at the woman asking, taking her instruction before moving off to do what she needed. Time waits on no one and soon it was nearing 4pm she made a quick call to Sam, wishing him a safe flight, telling him she loved and missed him already, and then she was back to Miss Jones the professional again
"You're 4.30pm meeting with De'Lights is here Miss Jones" her PA popped her head round her office door telling her
"Get them watered, bring the snacks in and then show them in "Everything's fresh yeah?"
"Absolutely" her PA replied leaving the room, following instruction she eventually presented with the De'Lights
"Grace, Tom" Mercy held her hand out to greet them, smiling at the slender black woman standing behind them
"Mercy" Tom smiled shaking her hand after his wife had let it go "This is Angel who we chose to be the face of our new line if this deal happens, I thought I'd bring her along she how the sets look on skin, if you don't mind"
"I don't mind at all" Mercy grabbed Angel's hand and smiled up at her "I don't really have a general changing room here, we don't usually get this request but you can use my bathroom" she told her letting her hand go to have a conversation with her potential buyer. Everything sounded right, he was saying the right things, Mercy was enthused to start working with them
"So I guess it's jut about seeing the sets on" Grace smiled looking at Angel
"Of course" Mercy smiled getting up "Angel do you want to come with me" she walked off towards her bathroom, she stood talking her through some of the more complicated sets, that looked better on skin and showed her into the bathroom
"Oh Sam" Angel said looking at a portrait of him on the wall about the bath
"Is it?" Mercy asked shocked that she knew him "It was here when I took over the place, I just liked the thought of some random staring at me naked" she laughed
"Yeah it's Sam" she smiled at her, before breaking into full cry as she sat on the toilet bowl
"What's the matter?" Mercy looked at her concerned
"I've kept it in for 9 months our baby would have been born this week, it was both our choice, it was a random but he was just nice, you know"
"A random, what happened to him?"
"He took me to a clinic, we did the deed, he went his way and I went mine, he didn't even really know who I was, we just spent a wicked weekend in his flat"
"I'm so sorry about what happened to you" Mercy hugged her
"It's fine I didn't want it either it's just sometimes it just hits you, you know and I came in saw that and just burst" she smiled up at her "Sorry" she got up to splash her face with some water "I need to get these on" she set about doing her modelling thing Mercy sat numb through the rest of the meeting, functioning but not there
She sat for a long while after they'd gone taking in what Angel had told her Sam had actually got someone pregnant, made her have an abortion and then come back to her with his tail between his legs, she sat trying to get mad about it, trying to find an angle to come at him with this shit but everywhere she turned she was going to have to reveal her secret, and that wasn't going to happen, she finally decided that was in the past, she was making the decision to bury it and keep it buried 'It was just the other day, told me you were sorry, it was not so long ago, talked about the same thing, darling why? Please tell me why?, do lovers behave in such a way, yes, didn't you know that love means, never to say that your sorry, how could you hurt the one you love, just like you don't care, no not in such a way' 'Love Means Remix'
Choice 6
Sam detected something on his return but there was nothing to put his finger on, she kept telling him everything was alright and he had to believe that, eventually he put it down to this conscience thing of his, because he had a secret he just assumed everyone else did. Plus he knew she was under a lot of pressure at the moment, she'd just finally took on board this new contract with that De'Lights and she was buckling, there was nothing he could physically do except lift boxes, which he did when he could, but of course all the hard graft had been done by then, eventually she let him pump some money into it to get herself some extra staff and start looking at bigger properties
"Sam" she shouted as she left for work that morning
"I'm working late again tonight, I'd appreciate a booty call when I get back" she giggled
"I'll surprise you" he laughed "That's what they supposed to be aren't they, surprises?"
"Yeah I guess" she laughed "We could say I surprised you by asking for one" she kissed his waiting lips telling him
"Get out of here let me prepare for this booty call in like 16 hours?"
"I'll make it 15" she smiled taking another kiss before leaving the flat
"Mercy" he called when he looked around and saw her phone sitting there, it was attached to her ear, she'd be back for it in a second, he stood at the door with it for a few minutes waiting for her to come back but it didn't happen, eventually he left it on the morning table and went about his business
As he'd expected her phone was ringing off the hook, every now and again he'd look to see if it was Mercy looking for her phone but it wasn't, early afternoon as he went to take a walk to the shops to buy some fresh stuff for the house her phone rang again, it was her Dad so he answered it "Gee" he smiled it had been a while "Sam" he told him laughing at his joke
"So what's been going on with you and Mercy, she came up for the wedding telling us all sorts of crap, expecting us to believe it, she looked fragile so I didn't push it"
"Nothings going on with us, except I've been really busy and now she is"
"When am I going to hear those bells"
"When we both feel ready" Sam laughed
"So did you guys get that stalker sorted"
A stalker, oh yeah ages ago"
"With Melany, Mercy and you I should hope so" Gee told him, Sam stood wondering what the hell he was on about
"That was a while ago Gee" he laughed
"I hadn't even got my wife back off honeymoon for the day before she was flying down to you guys, she said she felt like a Mommy"
"Right" Sam laughed, his mind searching for questions that might sort this conversation out
"Anyway just checking up on my only child, if she's happy, I'm fine, take care Sam"
"You too" he stood looking at the dead phone "She had a stalker, she's said nothing" he opened her phone to check these messages or anything to tell him what was going on for her, maybe this bastard had come back and that's why she was on edge all the while, why didn't she feel she could come to him with this, he thought as he scrolled through her phone, he finally found Melany's contact in her sapp list and opened up the conversation
'Thanks for the chat, I needed to vent, Sam's not here'
'Are you sure you don't want him to know'
"He doesn't want a commitment he made that clear, I'll call when I've booked'
'Be sure and I'll support you'
'It's booked for 14th at 2pm'
'I'll get there, straight from the airport'
'Thanks'
'Thanks for your support at the clinic, you were a rock, tell no one remember'
'Specifically not your Dad I know'
'Or Sam'
'Or Sam'
"Shit she got rid of my baby" he sat on the table he'd took her phone off, he was numb, she'd not even had a conversation with him about it, she'd just rushed ahead and got rid, at least that random had the balls to tell him what the fuck she was going to do, but she's right I had told her in no uncertain terms I wasn't ready for anything called commitment but she could have fucking told me, what would you have done? run you'd have run and you know it, you weren't ready.
He sat looking around the room trying to figure out how he was going to deal with this, the horror of having to come clean about his secret pulling his claws in, they were in a good place right now all that was behind them, he was going to keep it under wraps, if she didn't confess then he wouldn't have to and life right now was great, he was sat listening to Beres when she finally walked in just 10 hours later
"You're early" he jumped up to meet her at the door "You left your phone I thought you'd have come back to get it" he looked around like he didn't know exactly where it was
"Actually it was a welcome break and a great reason to get home early" she kissed him saying
"I did supper if you're up for it?"
"Booty call, then supper" she laughed dropping her jacket at the door and backing him into the living room
"So all my plans are out the window?"
"Did you not just see that?" she looked back at the door asking him
"What?" he looked at the door before looking back at her
"New plans just came in the door"
"Okay" he smiled going with the flow, they made love, ate and went back to it, it must have been five hours later when Mercy finally closed her eyes for sleep, he couldn't sleep there was too much going on in his head, Beres had the words he needed to hear to send him off soundly to sleep as he close his eyes and the 'Touch me one more time, whisper in my ears, your sweet lies, this will keep me going, even for a moment, till we understand that its not right, didn't you know that love means never to say that your sorry, no, how could you hurt the one you love, just like you don't care, no not in my book no no way...' 'Love Means Remix' he took those words and pulled her closer to him Beres was never wrong
Choice 7
It was a year on, Mercy had found the bigger premises, got more staff and things were just about becoming manageable, she was in a comfortable happy place again, Sam had slowed down of his own accord, he was becoming a bit of a home bird, getting quite grumpy just before he'd go off on assignments and spent the whole time whinging about why he didn't like his job anymore
"Change it Sam" Mercy told him in one of those conversation "If you don't enjoy it anymore please just change your job, you can do anything you want"
"I know babe, and I'm nearly there, its just all the privilege you get with the role, I mean I've been all over the world"
"So what do you want to do?"
"Be all over you any damn time I want"
"Sam" she laughed, she was trying to be mad with him for being so indecisive "I love you Sam Evans" she giggled
"I love you right back Mercy Jones" she couldn't see his grin, it was very rare she said it first, he didn't want to ask why, he was basking in the knowledge that maybe this time she actually meant it "Three days and I'm back to loving you" he told her "I miss loving you"
"I miss you loving on me" she giggled "Can we get some phone sex going on later?"
"Sure" he frowned "But what's wrong with you every day this week"
"I guess I miss you"
"It's only been two weeks"
"What can I not miss you now?"
"Of course, but when my girls crying out for attention I have to find out what's up"
"Nothings up"
"You're usually like this before a period not after"
"Am I going to get a call later?"
"Of course" he giggled "Let me do some work"
"Yeah I'd call it work too, sitting in some six star hotel in Dubai" she laughed "later lover"
"Much love later" he grinned hanging up the call
Mercy went into search mode, he'd said something and she needed to find her damn diary quick, she couldn't keep up with today let alone last week without her brain "Where is it" she asked herself throwing everything out her bag, she had business on her phone outlook diary but her personal stuff was still very much hand written, not available to prying eyes on the world wide web searching through tons of documents to find out that one secret thing about you that could open up the eyes of your life to any stranger. "God" she grabbed the diary and opened it up checking her dates "Shit" she went back a week just in case "Shit" she giggled nervously before searching through for the last time she had a period "Six weeks" she closed the diary telling herself "But I wasn't sick or anything" she grabbed her bag and made her way to the chemist
She rushed back and got all the way to the bathroom before she changed her mind and decide she was going to wait for Sam to get back. Booty call happened, but she didn't cover her stress up well because Sam kept asking what was wrong with her, if anyone was stressing her out, if business was alright by the end of the call she knew if he could he'd have been on the next flight home, she wanted him home. Things were different this time, he was a part of her life, they'd committed to each other, they'd never talked about children or even getting to that level in this relationship
Quickly Sam's return was here he'd been calling almost on the hour since that night and she knew he'd be breaking record times to get back to see her face knowing she couldn't not tell him when he was standing in front of her asking. She didn't mean to stay late at work it just happened she rolled her eyes when his name flashed up on her phone as she flicked it open "Sam"
"Mercy I need you to just come home now, I'm so stressed out about you, I know me I'll turn up at your place ranting, not a good look babe"
"I didn't know it was this late I'm on my way" she told him closing the call down, her tummy was doing flips, she was happy about the situation, if it was here, but how Sam was going to react rested heavy on her mind, she drove home in a daze and watched Sam bounce out the couch when she pushed the door open
"Mercy you look like death, what's up?" he was more frightened than anything
"I'm scared Sam, really scared"
"Who did this to you?" his lips barely opening for anger as he spoke
"We did"
"What?" he asked stepping away from her
"I didn't want to do this until you got here, but I need honesty I need to know how you feel about this" she told him pulling the pregnancy test out of her bag "I'm so scared" her eyes wide waiting for his reaction
"Lets do the test" he grabbed her hand and went towards the bathroom "I'm excited" he told her bringing a smile as they entered the bathroom, he stood watching as she wet the stick and set her timer to wait "I know this isn't the conventional way, and that you might want that, but I want this baby"
"Me too" she finally smiled
Suddenly this relationship had gone from very warm to boiling point hot, and neither of them seemed to really mind about that, except there was this giant rotten apple in the room, Mercy wanted to get it out, she wanted a life with this man, and the only way that was going to happen was if there were no secrets, if she was pregnant, not that this would make up for the one that she'd aborted but at least they'd have a second chance at it and he might find it harder to walk away. Anyway he had his own shit that he needed to come clean about so she could always throw that in his face if things came to a head
Sam sat smiling, when that random had come to him with that news he knew straight away by his reaction that it wasn't the right thing, that she needed to get rid of it, that she was never going to be it for him, but this felt totally different he felt like it was the start of something special "Lets see what Beres has to say about this" he laughed grabbing the stick and Mercy's hand making their way to the living room
"What do you think he's going to say?" Mercy laughed
"I really don't know, I just know it will be relevant" he told her grabbing her around the waist as he flicked the switch "Told you" he smiled "It's a boy" he told her as Beres sang out his intro "I'm gonna be yours baby, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever yes, this I promise you baby, and believe me every word I say" he sang to her
"What does the stick say?" Mercy grabbed at his hand asking
"Do you really need to know after what Beres just told us?" he laughed holding up the stick out her reach as he sung to her "I'll be there for you, when you want me to, I'll come running baby, I'll be by your side, as long as the sun shines, I'll be forever yours baby, for the rest of my life..." 'There For You' "Okay" he handed her the stick, watching her face go through some emotions before she looked up at him smiling
"We're pregnant" she screeched jumping at him "Thank you" she smiled grabbing his lips
"God thank you, I'm going to be a Dad" he hugged her tighter
They kept the news to themselves, not wanting to curse anything until they got to 20 weeks, they'd already had an earlier scan which had revealed there were two babies and some how Mercy and Sam, although neither knew the thoughts of the other, thought it was forgiveness for what they'd done in the past
Choice 8
Mercy lay on the clinic bed waiting for the Paediatrician to turn up, it was the 20 week scan and they were going to find out what sex they children were, Sam had flew in that morning so they'd had a late afternoon appointment, she lay while Sam stood next to her both too excited about this whole event, actually they hadn't come down since finding out
Sam was letting the Travel Blogging dwindle out and slowly picking up more of Mercy's business, she was obviously going to have time off with the babies, and he wanted to be around every night to help, their families were miles away, they had no one else.
"Mr & Mrs Evans" the Paediatrician walked in smiling "20 weeks scan, hoping for some news too" she smiled
"Very much so" Sam beamed
"Is this your first pregnancy?" she asked
Mercy looked at Sam, this opportunity was never going to arise again, at least there was a buffer "No, I had a termination two years ago" she told the woman while she stared in Sam's face "Can we talk about that later?" she almost whispered
"Sure" he squeezed her hand telling her, he was more relieved than anything, finally she'd told him about it, if only he could be so damn brave
"Okay let's get these babies identified" she smiled acting like she hadn't heard their conversation, rubbing the gel on and then there was sound, pictures on screen, lots of crying and several photos to complete the session, an hour later they were walking out with the knowledge they were having a boy and a girl, the parents got sent the pictures before they even got back home, opening up to lines of communication in a big way
"Do you want a drink?" Mercy walked in throwing her bag down
"Yeah" Sam said taking his jacket off and throwing himself on the couch waiting for the conversation, trying to get the balls to come clean, Mercy was stiring the drinks hoping he'd come clean
"Sam" she sat down putting the two cups on the coffee table "I got rid of our baby back then, there was no commitment and you'd told me clearly you didn't want any, I wasn't about to be a single Mom and to be honest I don't think I was ready" she finally took a breath
"I hear that" he rubbed that familiar spot at the back of his neck "I have a confession, I got a random pregnant while we were apart, it was a one night stand that stretched to two days, I didn't love her so I asked her to get rid of it, I felt guilty too, very guilty, because it was that morning she came to tell me, I realised I loved you and I didn't want anything to come in between being with you" he finally looked at her saying "I knew about your abortion I saw the chat in your phone that day you left it home, it was something your Dad said when we spoke"
"I met Angel, she's the body for Delight, she broke down at your picture in my bathroom and told me"
"What are we like?"
"Two people making a choice to have a life together"
"Don't laugh but Beres has the perfect words I want to share with you right now" he got up and attacked the pod, finding his tune before pulling Mercy out the couch as 'Till You've Got Love' rang out and he danced her around the room "You ain't got nothing, till you've got love, hold onto something, let to be love, holds only goodness brings peace of mind, its so much sweeter, sweeter than wine..." they stood in the middle of the room rocking to the song smiling as Beres spoke to them "We're going to be fine"
"I know" she smiled "Because I choose you Sam Evans"
"And I choose you Mercy Jones, Please say you want to be Evans?"
"I want to be Evans"
The End