The Guitar Player
Sam had grown up playing instruments, after having battled for four years with cancer, his Mother eventually lost the battle, she passed just days after his 6th birthday. His Mother played all sorts of instruments and Sam and her had found solace in music on some of her worst days, it was one of his few fond memories of time with his Mom, and his Dad had ensured he'd kept hold of the talent and nurturing it at every given opportunity.
School was a struggle for him, not academically, he'd got that part of his brain from his parents, but physically he'd matured early and because of that he always seemed to attract the attention of older girls, so being chased by 19 year olds when he was just gone 16 was daunting. Nevertheless it had it's up side, his first real girlfriend learned him well, he was in no way a player he respected women, his Dad had taught him to always do that, so he'd had relationships rather than one night stands, usually ending because he was too nice a guy or too trusting.
He went off to Guitar school in Hollywood when he was 19 and that sort of set him up for a future in music, unfortunately for him during that time he found out he wasn't at his best at the forefront, his nerves gave way every time, so although he was maybe the best singer of the small group they'd put together following an assignment, he was content being the lead guitarist.
The group, called themselves HEAP; a synonym of their names, plus they were all in the Computer Science class together, they were popular and played regularly on campus, of course it helped that they were a good looking bunch. By third year, after a long line of trials for all of them, Sam met a girl he was really into, Mercy was totally different to his other girlfriends, she respected him, gave him his space when he wanted it without all the insecurity bull shit, came to all his gigs when he asked and was totally serious about her studies. There was just one bear bug, they'd never gone all the way in the seven months they'd been together, he'd tried everything to reassure her, they often went as far as she would, but it seemed unless he put a fucking ring on it, there was no chance of even his fingers getting past her panties, although frustrating it brought them closer in other ways than either of them had intended.
He more than liked this girl and if he'd have not been so bothered about the guys taking the piss about him not getting any, coupled with the temptation of other girls throwing it at him, they might have still been together today, but his ego and his dick got the better of him and he cracked, he finally called her, sat her down and broke it off. There were tears from both of them, as she stood, mad as hell, telling him he was her one, and asking him what happened to fate having brought them together, but he was young, thirsty, impressionable and for what ever reason he cared about what his friends thought of him.
After the breakup he dived into the band, Mercy and he were in a lot of classes together so it was hard going, they'd catch each other throwing looks, he'd sit in class remembering their time together. Eventually their exams were on them, after that she totally froze him out until nearly the last day of college when she walked up to him, giving that heart melting smile he missed and shouted "I tried but I don't think I can let you go without saying this, I loved you Sam" she looked around the busy corridor before handing him a letter "One day you might even read it" she smiled and walked away, he looked at the envelop, back at her walking away, conscious of the prying eyes, he shoved it in his guitar case. A few days later college finished, he was glad when the door finally closed on that chapter of his life and he could get on with forgetting about her, it wasn't going to be easy he was in love with her.
22nd September
A year later it was Sam's 23rd birthday bash, the boys had planned the weekend in LA because he was still in a funk about his ex, with them being born on the same day they knew it was going to be hard for him. They were having a great time partying with the usual, drink, sex and music, they were trying to get that respect for women shit out his head, a few more drinks and they literally took over the bands instruments and rocked the joint. Unknown to them a talent scout was in the house and they got a break, before they knew it they were doing back tracks on a regular
26th November
Texas
Sam's big break came just after that, he was sitting home, listening to his Dad talking about his favourite topics; thanksgiving and fishing, when his phone rang
"Sam Evans?" the voice asked
"Yeah, sup?" he asked expecting another free gig request
"It's Ed, Ed Sheeran, I hope you don't mind I got your number from Puckerman"
"What the hell are you playing at Jake" he laughed
"No" the man chuckled "I'd probably think the same but honest I'm Ed Sheeran and I got your number from your man Puckerman"
"What can I do for you" Sam rolled his eyes asking, carrying on the prank with this idiot
"I don't know if you know but I'm on tour at the moment, anyway my lead guitarist has some bug he can't play on Saturday, I heard you playing at an Overstreet gig the other night and you were good, I wondered could you step in?"
"Are you serious?" Sam screeched, Jake had asked him to fill in for one of his old school mates a week ago, and all this was coming out of that night
"Yeah" Ed Laughed "Speak to my Manager"
Sam stood listening, his body tingling as this man told him about back stage passes, how much he'd be paying him just for one night, thinking if this was real it could send him so high "So we have about 10 hours are you in?" the man asked
"Yeah" he laughed "Where should I meet you?"
"Come to the back stage door at The Bowl in Hollywood"
"Give me …..five hours" Sam told him putting the phone down "I just got a call from Ed Sheeran, he wants me to fill in for his guitarist tomorrow night" he told his Dad
"I don't know who Ed Sheer is, but you seem pretty excited, what are you waiting for?"
"I'm processing, if this is real it could be big for me"
"Go on, you're wasting time" his Dad yelled at him, watching him move off, coming down nearly fifteen minutes later with a packed bag and his guitar "And Son" he called "Break a whatever, just not that guitar" he laughed, pointing at his Grandpa Randel's guitar, the only thing his Mother ever had of her Dad's possessions
"Thanks Dad" he laughed gripping his guitar and grabbing his jacket, he was off to play at The Bowl, he couldn't believe it
Hollywood
He was in awe as he stepped out the cab, everything was happening, including him if this was true, he walked towards the Arena, he started to believe this might not be a hoax call when the bouncer at the back stage door let him through "Sam?" Ed met him less than half way down the corridor "You don't know how grateful I am" he held his hand out for shaking "You're a life saver, it would have cost me some P's to close this down"
"P's?"
"A lot of money, sorry sterling Pounds, P's"
"Glad I could be a help" Sam smiled walking along with the man who didn't seem at all phased at the fact that he was Ed Sheeran
"There are lots of eyes on this gig, a lot of people have got money riding, I need you to be stella"
"I'm good" Sam told him, he had things that made him nervous like, singing in front of a crowd, first kisses, shit like that but being with his guitar was the least scary place he could think of
"Okay I have a couple of new songs but all the others I hope as a musician you know"
"I'm a quick study" he followed Ed to meet the rest of the guys, they sat playing the new stuff for a while before Ed disappeared, coming back ready to perform, Sam took a couple of tops he fancied
"Ready" Ed asked as one of the backing singer finished the short prayer
"Ready" everyone shouted back at him before everyone walked towards the stage
The feeling was phenomenal, Sam stood watching the crowd as Ed sang hit after hit the lights were doing their thing, he could tell money had been spent on the whole performance, there were many highlights of his night, but the most scary one was when Ed called his name and moved to the side for him to do solo on his guitar, his way of introducing. He wanted to shout at him "You could have fucking warned me" and at first his face probably said that, but once the crowd warmed to him, and he got into his Mercy zone, he really enjoyed it
In the middle of the gig Ariana walked onto the stage, Ed announced it was a song off his new album, he was star struck for a second before the cheers of 20 thousand people came to his ears and he realised he was a part of the band, he strummed the first chord playing 'Love For The Lonely' as Ed Sheeran & Ariana Grande sang their asses off, this was turning out to be the best night of his life, he really didn't know how he was going to come down from it. That night was hard, he developed a taste for whiskey, not only did it give him a good time, it made him forget too, Mercy was something him and his guitar had in common, every time he got lost in it, all he saw was her dancing to his tune, she loved the sound of his guitar
Everything just seemed to take off from that night, just after the holidays he got a call from Smokey Robinson over in Hollywood asking him to come over for a conversation, of course it ended with more work.
31st December
Texas
He'd been home for the holidays, and was feeling bad about leaving his band behind and having a good time about it, he got them together for a drink and some conversation they all knew was inevitable "Guys" he raked his hand through his hair as he watched their disappointed faces "This wasn't what I planned, nothing like what I'd planned but I'm getting calls from some big names and I can't lie they're not asking for the band" he looked at them waiting for some hostility "Whenever I can, I swear, I'll plug for us to get a gig.."
"We have a gig in a weeks time" Blaine told him, his disappointed face making Sam feel even more guilty
"Two actually" Artie corrected him, cutting his eye at Sam
"And I can't lie and pretend that this isn't fucked up" Jake stood up telling him "But.." he looked at Finn
"Yeah, but we'd be crazy to try and stop you from getting your big break, especially since we sort of got you into this, we're actually proud of you dumb head" Finn laughed as everyone joined in
"I was dropping bombs about this conversation, you guys knew that and you let me go through..."
"Oh shut up and hug it out" Finn laughed
"HEAP won't end, I'll get back as regularly as I can to do our gigs, but when I'm earning nearly five times the amount in less hours the math talk for themselves"
"Listen, we're here, but don't bust your balls, it's not our livelihood, we'll just do this for fun when we can get together" Jake told him
"So Smokey Robinson" Artie smiled at him
"Yeah" Sam smiled smugly "Smokey and I have business, he has some real good connections, so in the next month there won't be a minute free between practice, performing and travelling" the conversation got comfortable again, later they said their goodbyes and wished him well.
9th January
He got real busy just like Smokey said he would, he was doing gigs for most of the live bands coming through performing at The Bowl, with travelling around California, partying and hotel hopping things were getting expensive, most of his gigs were located at The Bowl and he was barely finding time to get home, he woke up one morning feeling wreaked and faced with a dilemma of not being able to get home for the fifth weekend running, he sat looking at yet anther random sleeping in his bed, and decided he needed to go home, he had to have a conversation with his Dad
Texas
"Dad" he sat raking his hair of his face, the two of them sat in rocking chairs looking out at the lake
"That move tells me there's trouble ahead, is it a girl?"
"No" he laughed
"So it's work then?"
"It's getting difficult with paying for hotels, flights to get home, it's almost not worth the hassle for the amount of money I'm spending.."
"So?"
"Everything I do is in California, it just makes sense.."
"Of course it does, you should move to California"
"I want to, but I'm worried about leaving you alone" he looked out at the lake in front of them "How about you come.."
"..I'm fine right here with everything I hold dear" he looked back into the house "We're not talking never seeing each other again... are we?"
"No" he laughed "I was thinking of moving to somewhere nearer Hollywood, that's mostly where the work's coming in"
"If that's what you need to do that's fine with me, I've always wanted to visit Hollywood, maybe we can do that together on one of my visits?"
"That's a definite"
He didn't waste time, he found himself a two bed apartment in Hollywood, and moved in for valentines day, his Dad came down that weekend and they did the Hollywood thing, Sam hired an open top and they did the works, ate, drank, went to a strip club, night club and looked for some stars they had a great week together before his Dad went back home and he got back to work, and life of sex, drink and music went on
22nd September
24 years old
Hollywood
He was drinking harder, especially today, trying to forget what his music brought back every night, he was at The Bowl again having a good whack at playing 'Too Hot' by Jason Derulo the man's voice was ridiculously perfect. There were girls dancing everywhere, it was threatening to be another good night, he knew the drill and took his cue when the musicians were introduced. Maybe he noticed the woman in the crowd because she was the only person in the entire place not moving to the music, he smiled but she didn't react, his eyes flashed on her several times during the concert, wondering why anyone would come to a Jason Derulo concert and not be prepared to move "Did you see that woman in the crowd that didn't move a muscle all night?" he asked the drummer, on the walk back to the dressing room at the end of the night
"No dude, I was in my zone" he laughed
"Yeah, it was a good night"
"Brilliant night" the guy frowned walking off
"I got to stop fucking drinking" he told himself "I don't want your guys job" he shouted after the drummer, as long as he was getting paid, he didn't give a shit about the reason the regular wasn't there, along with everyone else, he'd grabbed a groupie and shared the night between her and a bottle of the finest whiskey, forgetting what he knew he was going to remember in the morning
1 Year Later
24th September
25 years old
Sam was at The Bowl again, doing a gig, with James Arthur, he was on home ground again feeling right at home, James liked his acustic songs and he strung them out, he was in the middle of one when the audience got rowdy. Sam looked around, he hadn't seen these guys back stage, so he didn't know if this was planned or something they were doing off the cuff, or even if they were planning on doing anything, he was looking for cues all over the place, while James introduced them to the audience
"Everyone's here so let's do this guys" he looked at the two men "Ladies and Gentlemen this is a little something called 'Treehouse' by James Arthur, Ty Dolla Sign & Shotty Horroh" he pointed at each one as he said their names before the music started, it took Sam a few seconds but he got it and went in as hard as the rest of them, the backing singers were going all in, Wendy had been giving him the eye for the three hours they'd been back stage throwing shots down them, and if he was honest if the intention was to stay around for the night, he might have gone there with the blond, she looked alright with double vision, but he was heading home.
He'd just started in on a section before chorus, all lights were on the trio, he glanced up at the roaring crowd for a second, shocked to see that strange woman stood in the same spot not taking anything in again. She was stood glaring at the stage, he smiled again in the hope of getting a reaction but she just didn't move, he was aware that his intro was coming up, and at that second their eyes met, he was sure there was something familiar about her but he couldn't think what. He was working, he turned his back on her to get his focus and looked at the blond giving her a smile that might have meant something, he laughed out loud at the grin on her face, she'd already got him in bed while he was feeling someone else, maybe he could try forgetting with her and leave early in the morning. "Finally Feel Good" James told him as the music finished and he was straight in on the next song, he turned back around to look at the mystery woman, searching the crowd for a second when she wasn't in the spot he'd left her in, for the rest of the night he was involuntarily searching the crowd trying to concentrate on work
"Did you see a woman standing up front?" he asked the blond he'd led to believe something could happen for them tonight
"No" she frowned at him "I just thought we were... never mind" she walked away, he wasn't even interested enough to go after her
"Girls and their fucking drama" he laughed packing his guitar away, throwing it on his back and making his way to back stage for his waiting car, he didn't know when but he'd made his mind up he was getting his flight home right now.
Along with his Whiskey shots, his Dad was his best friend these days, they were in contact every day, when he'd left home he was scared for him, but after two years he actually missed the man that had been in his life every day since birth and there was still a lot to learn from him "Dad" he called down the phone as he sat in the waiting room at the airport "That strange woman turned up again, I'm starting to think she's a sign from Mom, nobody else seems to see her"
"It is Mom thinking its time for you to settle down, get a girl to come home to instead of your old Dad" he laughed
"I'm 25 I'm not even thinking about that shit" he laughed
"See you in what, three hours?"
"Yeah" he closed the call, it was the 19th anniversary of his Mom's passing this weekend, he didn't remember much about the woman except he loved her hugs and the music they played together, but his Dad kept her very much alive for both of them and every year they'd visit the grave, go fishing and buy a drive through on the way back home. Apparently that was what his parents did nearly every Saturday when they were together, and it had become a tradition for them. He'd very often wondered why his Dad had never found anyone else, he didn't seem to be bothered about finding anyone either, as a healthy 25 year old he couldn't work out how his Dad would have stopped having sex at 31 and never looked at women again, he admired him
"What?" he did a double take on glimpsing someone that looked like his Mother standing with the woman from the concert just staring at him "Mom" he gasped staring into the woman's eyes, he blinked and looked again, all he saw were people rushing about, he wiped his eyes to look again, maybe he was tired. He looked around the waiting room, everybody else seemed fine, he was the only one looking around like a mad man "Mom" he looked up to the heavens before looking back at his phone, impatiently waiting for his flight to be called, eventually it was, he hurried off to get home
Texas
This Sunday was all about the family and because he didn't have another gig until Thursday he stayed put until Wednesday night, just chilling with his Dad, taking some time to clear his phone book, getting rid of numbers he'd never used and even some he'd used and regretted, ranking them as he went, as well as updating his social media pages, that in itself was a full time job. He'd got it down to 4 decent girls a load of contacts for jobs and his Dad "Sad" he flashed through what was left wondering why he hadn't deleted Mercy's number, his finger hovered over the delete button, but decided against it, he carried on flicking through the revised list smiling "But good" he jumped up "Beer?" he asked his Dad
"Yeah" he smiled, he loved looking at his boy, he had everything for his Mother, he was his little piece of her that she'd left in memory of herself for him, she'd told him a child would bring joy to his life in ways he couldn't imagine when she'd fell pregnant with him. From the day he'd touched her baby bump and the boy had given him that first kick, knocking his head into the reality of their situation he'd been in love, and over the years it had only gotten stronger "Your Mom's so proud of you"
"I know" he smiled at his Dad, handing him the bottle "And she's proud of you too"
"Me?" he asked shocked "What for?"
"For doing such a great job with me, I appreciate it"
"It's my job"
"Yeah, but you did it well" he squeezed his shoulder
"Thank you" he touched his son's hand smiling up at him
"One question" he sat next to him "And don't get offended, I don't mean anything by it, I'm just curious" he looked into his Father's eyes "You were 31 when Mom left us, why have you never loved anyone else?"
"I didn't want to"
"A man has needs Dad, have you never..."
"That's a bit personal"
"Yeah, sorry" he looked away from him out across the lake
"Seriously" he laughed "We're both grown men" he nudged him "There have been women, just not any I thought were worthy of meeting my son, I respected your Mom's wishes she wanted me to carry on living, and I did, but I didn't want you meeting loads of different women, I promised myself you'd only meet the one I was serious about, and I just never met anyone"
"There's me giving you props for being sex free for 19 years" he laughed
"I'd give you props for going without for 19 days the amount of time it took you to clear that phone of yours"
"I don't sleep around" he looked at his Dad seriously "Well actually I do" he laughed
"You're cute, they can't help it" he laughed
"I know I'm cute" he laughed "No but seriously, I'm not ready to settle down but someone I can trust to love me back and gets me, I wouldn't say no to"
"They'll turn up son, your Mom did for me" he squeezed his knee before taking a sip of his beer "And when she does you won't know what hit you"
"When she does you'll be the first person to met her" he laughed sipping his beer
"Where's your next gig?"
"The Bowl" he smiled knowing his Dad had shut the conversation down before he started thinking too much on his Mom "With Chris Brown would you believe?" he smiled "I'm looking forward to it"
The days went slowly, just as they liked them but Wednesday still came, his Dad gave him a late birthday cake before he left for work again
Hollywood
He got to the arena early, he was having a relationship with this place, he stood plugging his guitar in wondering how packed it was going to be this time around, and how the hell the crowd were going to hear Chris over all the noise "Big ain't it?" Chris walked towards him asking, the man was shorter than he'd expected, but he had a presence
"Massive" he laughed "I've played here a few times though"
"I know, that's why I asked for you" he smiled a genuine smile "Thanks for doing this for me, I hate when Noah doesn't tell me he's double booked, but I'm happy about the fact that I get to perform with you behind me"
"No pressure then" Sam laughed, this man was expecting big things
"I've heard good things about your art" Chris smiled "I like dedication, just bring it"
"Bring it" Sam rolled his eyes echoing the mans words "Will do"
"Oh I hear it's was your birthday last week too" Chris turned asking him
"Yeah"
"Extra long intro for you" he laughed
Eventually night came and they were stood on stage playing music waiting for Chris's entrance, the noise was deafening as his voice came over the mic, there was some serious dancing going on for about twenty minutes, Sam along with everyone else was in awe of his energy. He went into song old current and new, girls gyrating all over the place, he got the crowd jumping. Half way through the three hour show and they were taking a breather while a support act held the realm "Ready for your solo?" Chris asked him
"Bring it" he laughed he was so used to getting into that place Mercy lived now it was fast becoming his highlight of every show
"Round 2" Chris shouted watching everyone get in their places, everyone went out playing their instruments to the dancers dancing around and lights flickering while fake fireworks exploded, Chris came out with Gunna singing 'Heat' by Chris Brown ft Gunna dancing around the stage making suggestive motions to the crowd, everyone was going wild girls and boys alike, it was madness
"What the fuck" Sam jerked as something hit his fingers, looking down he was presented with some black lace panties hanging off his tuning keys
"She trying dude" Chris laughed, watching him attempting to flick them off as he played "Either keep them or throw them back" Sam stopped playing took the things off his instrument and threw them back, he stood for a second watching as that mystery woman stood staring at him, he assumed it was her, he shook his head at the fact that she didn't even attempt to catch her draws
"It's that smiler" he told Chris as he moved around the stage
"What smiler" Chris asked looking in the direction Sam nodded his head in "Everyone's smiling over there" he smiled looking at the three girls stood giving fuck me eyes at them "But it looks like you're in" he nodded at the girls as Sam's head flew back round, his eyes searched but the woman was nowhere to be found.
For the rest of the night his eyes were searching the entire arena for that damn woman, he needed to know what she was playing at, throwing her damn old woman thongs at his guitar like that. The end of the concert was fantastic Chris really gave to his fans, his solo got more cheers than he'd ever had and those girls were still eagerly waiting "Which one are you taking?" one of the band asked looking at the groupies bursting to get on the stage
"Mmm none" Sam told him, he needed to change his life, it might as well start now, that woman throwing her draws at him meant him, that wasn't who he really was or ever wanted to be
"You sure, perks of the job and all that?"
"Yeah I'm sure" his mind was focusing on one woman, that for the life of him he couldn't shake "Tomorrow" he grabbed his guitar on the way and left, wondering what she'd done for her birthday and if she was even thinking about him anymore
"Sam" the drummer smiled the following evening as he walked through the door "Mystery panties" he laughed "They belonged to the brunette, she was real upset you didn't join the party"
"My loss I guess" he laughed, relieved for some reason that it wasn't the woman he'd thought it was
27 Years Old
14th August
It had been a while since he'd had a visit from his friend with no smile, he'd been playing all over California he just hadn't got back to The Bowl for a while, but this week Beyoncé was in town and he'd always promised he'd go watch her if he ever got the chance. He'd grown to love the woman's music, mainly because back then Aretha, Whitney and Beyoncé were Mercy's go to artists when she felt like singing, he smiled remembering him playing while she sang, watching her dance around the room all innocent and shit "Dad" he picked his phone up as soon as it rang "Everything alright?" concern in is voice
"Yeah I was just thinking about you, about our night out in Vegas and I wondered... did you get back to that girl?"
"What girl?"
"The one that almost threw her number in your pants last week, come on Sam" he laughed
"Oh, I lost her number a minute after she gave it me, she's so not my type"
"What is your type, because to my knowledge it's been about three weeks since you got laid?"
"And how long's it been since you got laid?" he rolled his eyes at the conversation he was having with his Dad
"Less than three weeks, less than three days actually" he laughed "Cause for concern when your old man's getting more than you, don't you think?"
"Cause for concern when my old man's having conversations like this with me" he laughed "Beyoncé is at The Bowl I'm on my way to grab a ticket, maybe that woman with no smile will be there and I can attempt to put a smile on her face"
"So now you're turned on by the creepy woman, should I be worried?"
"I think I should be worried, anyway she's not creepy she just doesn't move"
"Except when she turns into a puff of smoke" his Dad laughed "Listen I told you she's a sign from your Mom, she wants you to get serious about a girl"
"And I said as soon as I find one to be serious about, you'll be the first to know" he laughed "Old man, my phones ringing, I'll hit you back later"
"Now your running scared" he laughed "Speak soon son, love you"
"Love you too Dad" he told him before taking the other call, clicking it off when some past random started talking shit he didn't even want to hear right now "Fuck off" he told the dead phone
The only ticket he could get was for the last day of the Beyoncé's concert, which just happened to be the day he'd broke up with Mercy some 5 years ago, he was feeling low, his mind had been on Mercy for a few weeks now and Beyoncé being here must have been why. He'd eaten half his pizza, had a shower and got ready to go stand with the masses to get in, getting slightly excited about standing where that woman with the face might be stood, and even trying to get her to enjoy herself for a change, he was in the cue when his phone rang, he rolled his eyes remembering he'd said he was going to call his Dad back
"Sam?" the voice called before he got the chance to say anything
"Sup?"
"This is Mark Silver, we need your help"
Sam smiled he knew who he was "Hi Mark, what do you need?"
"You with your guitar, how quickly can you get to The Bowl"
"I'm at the Bowl, and my spare guitar's back stage" he told him
"Are you ready to save another life?"
"Yeah sure" Sam closed the call down and made his way to the side door "Frank" he smiled at the bouncer "Mark called me"
"Yea I know come on through" Frank laughed "You're one lucky fucker" he shook his head at Sam's smirk
"Sam" Mark walked towards him smiling "The Lady actually asked for you herself" he laughed
"Mark, it's good to see you again" he looked at this man who had big expectations in his eyes "I hope I live up to her expectations"
"You will, she'll be ready in about thirty" he walked away from him "Oh" he walked back towards him "She tends to do band introduction at the beginning rather than in the middle"
"That's fine" Sam smiled
"And" he pointed at his head trying to remember "She does a lot of acoustic, so she'll be calling on you to accompany her a hell of a lot"
"I'm good" he felt he'd had good practice back then with Mercy
Less than an hour later they were out on stage, Beyoncé was doing her thing, he was more up front than he thought he'd be but his guitar was in front of him and he wasn't singing, so he was good, that woman made an appearance, he just carried on playing waiting for a smile, it was a good 50 minutes before a break finally came and they got a 15 minute reprieve
Sam went off stage along with everyone else, grabbed a quick wash, changed and ventured into the crowd to find his mystery woman, tactically approaching from the back, his intention to creep up on her, she'd seen him enough times to know who he was. He got to the spot to find four guys standing there "Was there a woman standing here earlier on?" he asked, pointing to the spot
"No sorry" the rowdy guys replied
He stood for a while, thinking she might have gone to get a drink or something, he'd only got five minutes left he turned to leave the spot, it wasn't going to happen today "Sorry" he smiled at someone bumped into his chest
"Sorry" she looked up at him
"Mercy" he gasped at seeing her standing in front of him
"Sam" she smiled up at him
"What are you doing here?" he rolled his eyes "Of course you'd be here" he smiled
"I'm actually running late, I'm looking for my date, have I missed much?"
"At lease half" he laughed
"So what are you doing here?" she asked
"I'm standing in for the guitarist, that's what I do now"
"I guess he's calling you then" she pointed to the guy standing side stage pointing at him
"If you don't find your date come back stage and we'll catch up"
"I say date, it's my friend Tina" she laughed "She brought tickets for her and her husband but he couldn't make it, so I stepped in"
"I have to go" he smiled "Come back stage afterwards" he looked back at the guy waving at him "Come see me we can get a coffee, catch up" he walked away telling her
He went back on stage, Mercy heavy on his mind, she was still the same person, genuine smile, cute eyes, looking hell of a good in her leathers, he couldn't help wondering if she'd finally found her one to share her most precious, intimate, act with, feeling a ting of jealousy for the man he didn't even know, nodding his head for her to come find him when Beyoncé finally brought the show to an end 50 minutes later
He stood waiting for her to turn up, fifteen minutes later he was still standing watching the hall empty, he didn't really blame her, he'd treated her badly at college, with a heavy heart he finally gave up and made his way to the back gate "I thought you'd never come out" she smiled at him as he almost walked into her again
"Mercy" he smiled "I was waiting inside"
"I had to get Tina a cab to make up for being late, and once I came out they wouldn't let me back in"
"Sorry I forgot about that, did you still want to go get that coffee?"
"Yeah" she turned to follow him, they walked in silence the short distance to the coffee shop, Sam found a table and ordered their drinks before they got talking again "You remembered my order?" she smiled
"I remembered we had the same order" he frowned giggling
"No you developed a liking for the same order as me" she corrected him laughing
"Okay you got me into latte's" he laughed agreeing
"And I'm glad to see you got serous about your music" she nodded at his guitar "Is that the same one?"
"Yep" he grinned touching it endearingly "So you finally got to see Beyoncé" he laughed
"And you" she giggled
They sat for well over an hour catching up, she'd followed her music and had recently signed a contract having took some time out, recorded some songs she hoped was going to be forming the beginnings of her first EP. He told her about leaving the band and where he'd been since, the fact that he didn't have a back up plan sort of worried him, at around 2am they finally said their goodnight's, Sam got her a cab, put her in it and she was gone
Sam got home and sat thinking about the chance meeting that felt very planned "Of all the fucking joints" he shook his head smiling, remembering that fateful day none of them had dared talk about tonight "The letter" he grabbed his guitar case and took it out the little pocket inside it, he'd finally got the nerve to read it, it was a bit crumpled but readable
I've been trying to find the words to express myself since we broke up, I can't lie I thought we were it, and I thought you did too, but I guess things didn't work out for us because we're destined for different things. I know you Sam Evans, it would have taken you a while to actually read this, but now you have, I guess I'm happy you finally got to move on. Total truth I don't think I ever will, you're a part of my past I had in my future, my heart refuses to move on so hard it hurts. You talked about us closing a door, I never want to close mine, in fact I want to open imine up for you. I guess what I'm trying to say is you're my one and there'll always be a place in my heart for you, so lets not move on, lets just jump in and leave it to fate, what do you say?
Mercy
"Fuck, she wanted me back, after everything I said" he sighed at reading the note "Why the fuck didn't I read it when she gave it to me?" he threw it down angry at himself, he felt sick, the same sickness he felt when he'd walked away from her five years ago.
A vivid picture of them arguing about the break up, she was angry as hell "So are you mad at me?" he shouted at her, and a barrage of sit came at him he felt like shit but he was so angry "Look you're not the one, and I think we should just call it a day, just close this door we've opened" to say she was distraught was an understatement, before she even walked away he regretted his words "Why didn't she say something?" he asked himself picking the letter up again "She did" he scanned the words on the page again "Shit" he sank into his couch, he'd had it all in the palm of his hand and threw it away "So the question is Sam Evans, do you really want to leave your past, especially when the past is Mercy?" he looked at his phone he had some thinking to do
He couldn't believe he was going to spend another night on this, she hadn't even said anything to make him think any of this shit he was feeling had a chance of going anywhere, but he was excited "Go do your thing babe" he laughed at her voice in his head, that and her kiss, used to get him playing some serious guitar, he picked his guitar up and started strumming, his mind was already full of her, there was no point in fighting it
An hour later he was humming his melody and writing some words, drink in one hand and her letter in the other "Closing door, to open more, is not in my nature, I look at her, and try my best, but I only see my failures, hey, these memories keep blinding me, from everything I could feel, there's many ways to move on with change, but only one way of staying still, yeah" he fell asleep writing and slept the morning away
He woke up to his phone ringing again, he rolled his eyes at his Dad's concern "Sup?" he asked still half asleep
"Sam it's Smokey"
"Smokey hi" he jumped out of his sleep and sat up like the man was in his apartment "What can I do for you?"
"I've got you a bit of a spot" he told him excited "I know you don't want to be attached to a band but this is temporary, I need you to step in and play the lead guitar in the band for the end of this series of The Voice, its in Maine"
"For how long?"
"About three weeks, is that a problem?"
"No" he replied, Mercy was busy anyway, and he'd left it up to her to contact him "When do you want me there?"
"Tuesday morning would be good, I'm flying up then you could join me if you want, I have a few people going up, including my better half"
"Great" Sam rolled his eyes at the thought of being surrounded by couples, and horney women
"5am sharp, be at my place"
"Will do" Sam just about got in before the phone was dead
He sat looking at the lyrics he'd written, he hadn't written anything in years, but getting that out felt really good, he got up made some breakfast and sat eating and drinking coffee before he grabbed his guitar again, he'd got the makings of something. He sat strumming trying to get the words to fit and say what was inside him to say, smiling at having to come back round to the original words "You can't move on without leaving your past, but the harder I try seems the more I look back, yeah, and now nothing's changed but it's always the same, but the more that I need you, the more I push you away" he sang, satisfied with it before he jumped in the shower and got dressed, he needed an afternoon run, and maybe a surprise visit home
Texas
Sunday evening was filled with packing and making sure everything was alright with the house he was leaving for three weeks, then he booked his flight to go home for a few hours "Dad" he walked into the house expecting his Dad to be in the living room listening to his country music "Dad" he stopped in his tracks at seeing a woman sitting on the couch "Sorry I didn't know you had company" it felt awkward, alien even
"Son" his Dad looked more frightened than him "I didn't know you were coming home tonight"
"Obviously not" he chuckled
"Denise excuse us a second" he got up and pulled Sam out the room with him "Sorry about this son, if I'd have known you were.."
"..Don't worry about it" Sam laughed "I must admit it felt like someone was invading Mom's space for a second, but it's your life"
"It's our life, and if your not happy about this I can ask her to go"
"No don't do that" he frowned "Look Dad, I'm much too old, but thank you for taking my feelings into consideration, if you're happy so am I"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive, remember Mom said, carry on living?"
"Yeah" his Dad smiled at him "Come meet her" he pulled him back towards the living room door "But Sam" he stopped to look at his son "I'm not sure this is forever, but it's fine for now, if you know what I mean"
"I know what you mean" Sam laughed
The evening went quietly Denise went off to prepare food for them after the formal introductions, Sam told his Dad about the gig and after a late dinner they sat on the porch looking out at the lake while Sam sat watching this woman trying not to be too tactile with his Dad in front of him, he smiled to himself, surely this should be the other way around
"What do you think?" his Dad asked him the following afternoon as he prepared to leave for Smokey's house
"She can cook a mean breakfast" he laughed "It's always going to be your choice Dad, but any scent of bullshit and I'll start acting up"
"Deal" he laughed hugging his son goodbye, he said some pleasantries to Denise and he was gone
Maine
They were doing the show at the State Theatre in Bangor, it was small enough to be intimate and big enough for all the camera's to move around, they'd interviewed well over a thousand people, started live shows, and concluded the show like clockwork. There were girls on tap, and the old Sam would have dived in but this new Sam that had got back in touch with his first love and had expectations for them, he behaved himself.
Week two and the girls were on heat, they were all having trouble keeping them away, this one girl Niki got on their landing twice and ended up in his bedroom the second time "Niki" he smiled as he opened the bedroom door to find her sitting there
"You know my name?"
"I've been on the show for nearly three weeks" he rolled his eyes at her, this was the one the old guitarist left the show because of
"Yeah I know and everything I try to get your attention you diss, but I'm up for the challenge" she laughed
"What challenge is that?"
"Is that an invitation?"
"Em,.." his phone rang saving him from giving the harsh rejection, he stood at the door answering it "Sup?" he asked without excusing himself, he wasn't in any conversation with this girl
"Sam it's Me..."
"..Mercy" he smiled turning his back to Niki "I've been thinking about you" he stood in the doorway, opening it wider and nodding at Niki to get out "What's up?"
"Still answering the phone like that" she giggled
"Habit" he laughed, following Niki to the front door, opening it for her and shutting it after her without a word
"I was wondering... did you" the silence filled with anticipation "Shit, did you read my letter?"
"Would you believe I read it that night, after we had coffee" he laughed
"I would actually, I... can we meet"
"I'm in Bangor at the minute, I'm sorry I left you hanging"
"Yeah you left me hanging alright" she laughed "Can we make that coffee a dinner maybe when you get back"
"Sure" he was sure his smile could be felt all the way over where she was
"Great" I was sweating for that, she laughed "Tina reminded me, you left the ball in my court"
"I like your friend Tina already" he laughed "Can I call you as soon as I get back and we'll set a date?"
"Sure" she giggled "I'll let you get back to whatever, call me"
"Will do, Goodnight" he told her listening to the phone click off with screams going on in the background "A fucking date" he looked at his phone still smiling, it had taken five years almost to the month, but he was somewhere near where he wanted to be, of course he needed to talk to his friend "Dad" he called "Can you talk?"
"Yes, what is it?"
"It's that girl, the one I can't talk about, she's back, she called me tonight and asked me on a date, and I.. I feel something for her, I always have and it's been stopping me from moving on, I get that now, but it feels scary"
"You know son" his Dad sighed "It's only scary when that person you love isn't around, once they're there in front of you everything just makes sense, just be yourself, and remember she's not coming back to save you, she's coming back to love you"
"So I'm in love?"
"Come on after five years of hearing something missing in your voice you call me with something in it, it's in the bag" he laughed
"If you say so"
He sat up all night writing lyrics, nervous for what lay ahead when he got home "You're hell bent on saving me, I don't need saving, well these demon's chasing me, I can't risk you being taken, with every no, inside I grow, stronger and stronger, as these memories fade, our parts have placed, gets closer and closer" "It makes sense to me" he laughed putting his guitar down to find sleep, one more week and the show was over and he was back home
Hollywood
21st September
Sam went straight to The Bowl he was playing for a festival, it was only an hour but it paid triple time, which paid next months rent without him touching his bank account. He was standing in for Post Malone's guitarist doing just four songs, they were in the middle of 'Die For Me' Post Malone ft Future, Halsey when he noticed the woman with no smile standing with his Mom, then they turned and smiled at each other, he knew it wasn't real but for that second the woman looked familiar, he stood for a second trying to work out who she looked like before getting back to work, as usual by the time he looked up they were gone, he was used to it now. Finally he jumped down off the stage, his time was his own and he could make plans "Mercy" he called when she answered "I was wondering if you were free tomorrow?"
"I know you know it's my birthday, but I can be"
"I'll come to you, send me your address"
"Okay come down early we can get the day"
"I'll leave home about 8am in the morning"
"Make that for 7 we can get breakfast"
"I'll guess it' 7 then" he laughed she was just as outspoken and bossy as he'd remembered, of course he couldn't sleep that night his mind was too full of all the things he wanted to say and all the things she might have to say, his guitar was his friend all night, there was something special about tonight he hadn't touched a drop of whiskey "Hey I've been keeping inside, a lock on my door, bottles of bourbon are spread on my floor, they keep asking me why, chasing these thoughts, I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all" he added another verse to his never ending song, this time in anticipation of letting go of that bottle, he sat up all night waited for the morning
Long Beach
22nd September
28 Years Old
"Mercy" he called dead on 7 am "I'm outside"
"Come on up"
"Yep" he closed the call with a smile "Come on up" he raised his eyebrow at the comment and got out the car to make his way up to her apartment "Morning" he smiled seeing her face at the door
"Morning, come on in" she moved to let him in, his Dad was right all that scary had gone just at that one word "I was hoping we could push through the awkward and get on with getting to know each other again, you know I don't believe in beating around the bush" she followed him into the apartment showing him which door to go through "I want to know what your response to my letter is, it's been five years and I think I deserve at least an answer"
"Back then I wanted to impress my friends, I actually felt we were going to be together forever, but we barely lasted to graduation" he laughed watching her walk away from him "You know how I felt about you, I told you every damn day, if I'd have read the letter I would have begged you to come back to me"
"And now?"
"And now I'm here, hoping, because over these past five years I've been struggling with coming to terms with the fact that I still feel something for you, I regret my actions and words"
"I feel different" she walked over to the cooker and took two plates of breakfast out the oven, walking over to him "The plates hot" she placed it on the table in front of him, his eyes searching her face to find out how different "Please sit"
"Mercy" he grabbed her hand as she went to move away "I never stopped loving you, as soon as I saw you again I knew that"
"My Mother died recently" she looked at him with water filled eyes
"Sorry to hear that" he let her hand go and sat down
"Don't be" she smiled "We expected it, did everything we wanted to and it was peaceful" she sat down opposite him "I told her about you, she told me that I couldn't move on without leaving my past, and the day she left I realised I still didn't want to leave my past" she smiled "I had no idea how to contact you, and then you appeared, I couldn't ignore it" she smiled "Funny enough that night was the first time I'd been out since she'd died"
"Wise woman your Mom"
"I surround myself with them" she giggled, looking over at a picture of her Mom
"That's the woman at The Bowl" he gasped following her eyes to the picture
"I don't think so" Mercy laughed "She's been sick since I finished college"
"I swear every time I played there she was standing right where I met you that night, no word of a lie"
"It must have been her spirit we used to joke about it being free soon" Mercy laughed "You left me Sam, for women and a fucking guitar" she looked at him no longer laughing
"That was a lie" he looked at her before looking down at the food in front of him wondering if he was going to be wearing it any time soon "I gave you up because I was embarrassed of the guys telling everyone we weren't having sex"
"But we weren't" she looked at him puzzled
"Well at 22 it seemed like a big deal to have a girl and not be getting into her panties"
"And at 28?"
"It seems like the stupidest, most childish thing to leave someone you care about for"
"I can't say I don't agree with that" she huffed
"But I need you to know I'm deeply sorry, it been the biggest regret of my life"
"So ... did you find someone to give you sex?" she crossed her arms in front of her chest huffing
"Sex yeah" his eyes rolling and his face full of guilt, but he couldn't lie "But not love"
"How many?"
"Is that important?"
"To me yeah"
"A few" he grabbed for her hand "Mercy I play the guitar on stage nearly every night, those bitches are like two a penny"
"So a lot then?" she pulled her hand away from him
"And what about you" his eyes flashed at her like daggers "Did you find that man to give that special part in your soul to?"
"Yeah" she smirked at him
"Fuck this" he got up angry, he didn't know it until that second but hearing that hurt him to the core
"So why are you mad?" she got up walking after him, getting to the door before he could open it and stood with her back to it "You're not running away this time Sam Evans" she looked up at him
"What did you call me up here for Mercy?" his eyes like slits he was reeling from her revelation
"Are you good and fucking mad at me?" her eyes asking the question while her lips were telling him to kiss her
"Ha" he laughed up in the air "I get it" he looked back at her "I'm sorry, truly sorry for what I said"
"So what are you thinking right now?"
"Fuck it" he rolled his eyes "You're my one, so lets not move on, lets just jump in and leave it to fate, what do you say?" he grabbed her face and kissed her, she'd just created the argument and brought them back to five years ago, where they stood making the wrong decision because he hadn't read the letter, but now he had and they'd gone into her alternative universe, they'd started again "Are you sure about this?" he asked as she pressed herself against him, he knew she was giving herself to him
"Positive" she moaned into him, her hands were moving faster than his, the only sound in the room except theirs was the banging of the door every now and again as they moved roughly against it
"Mercy" he stopped when he realised she didn't know what she was doing "You're still a virgin, I thought you said..."
"I'm giving my soul to you Sam" those words gave him such a buzz he couldn't even take her to bed, he'd waited for six years to hear them, it all happened at the front door, they ended up in the bedroom for breakfast, lunch and eventually they came out for dinner "What did you think of the day?" she asked as they walked hand in hand back to her apartment
"Best birthday ever, I need you to meet my Dad"
"Is he still in Baytown?"
"Yeah, you remembered" he smiled "I'm meeting the guys for the first time in like three years down there next weekend, you have to come, meet my Dad"
They spent the rest of the week together they had catching up to do, Sam met Tina and Mike, they got on like a house on fire, Mercy went with him to a gig he was playing at, he went with her to the studio to listen to her rehearsals and on Thursday night Sam booked their tickets and made arrangement with his Dad for their weekend visit
Texas
"Dad" Sam shouted through the house dragging Mercy with him as he walked "This is Mercy, Mercy my Dad"
"Finally" his Dad smiled with relief, hugged her before hugging Sam
They were sat talking when Denise turned up, Sam took Mercy down to the local bar for some privacy, they still had so much to talk about, they got back so late the next morning they were late up "Shit, I'm meeting the guys, I should be there now" he sat up in he bed "Come on we'll get breakfast on the way" he pulled her into the shower, they were dressed and standing outside the venue within the hour "Ready?" he grabbed her hand asking
"Yeah" she smiled, it felt like old times, them hand in hand running to his rehearsals late after another argument about sex, only this time there was no arguments, it had happened, repeatedly and it was fantastic
"Evans" they heard bringing a smile to his face
"Finn" he looked at his friend he hadn't seen for nearly three years
"We've been hired to play for... you'll never guess who" Finn laughed
"What we're playing for someone?" he asked
"Never mind that Dude" Finn walked towards them "Mercy" he smiled hugging her
"Shit yeah, it's Mercy, are you two...?" Blaine asked
"Yeah" Sam laughed
"Talk about full circle" Jake stood smiling "I knew this pairing was a forever thing" he nodded his head
"This is going to be off the wall" Artie smiled
"So who are you playing for?" Mercy asked when everyone calmed down
"Overstreet" Finn told them
"Talk about full circle" Sam laughed nodding his head
"And they gave us a 10 minute spot"
"Seriously?" Sam asked "I have the perfect song" he told them "And I'm going to sing it"
"Are you sure?" Finn asked
"Positive" he pulled Mercy in and kissed her, no one said anything else they just started practice, with Mercy sitting on the stool listening just like in the old days
That night the concert happened, they were both in a different place today, they weren't talking weddings just yet but they both knew that was the next step as he finally stood up front and sang 'Moving On' by Niko Walters his guitar in hand, his girl rocking away to his music sending him happily to that place again
"I don't want to leave my past" Mercy told him, when he came side stage
"Me neither" he kissed her and walked back on stage still playing his guitar