Real Life
Based on the song: 'Real Life' by Emeli Sande
22 Years Old
If a soldier had a gun to my head, would you fight or would you just play dead?
If we ain't got no food, ain't got no bread, would you go and work, make sure the kids get fed?
There was a proposal, Sam's parents, their friends Tina and Mike, were all in on the whole thing, Sam had set up a elaborate plot, telling Cedes in the middle of his make believe important meeting that his Dad had taken ill and they needed to get to Nashville as quick as possible. Cedes didn't hesitate she stopped preparation for her first single, got on the next plane out of California and left for home.
She treated her Father-in-law like gold, having become an orphan when she lost her own Father just four years previosus, everything was still very raw for her and when she met Sam's parents just six months after his death whatever it was she had for her Dad was transferred to Daniel. It was in no way a replacement for her own Dad she just acquired this protectiveness she couldn't shake, and now to hear this, she was in total panic.
"I got you a flight on the 2.45" he told her over the phone as she rushed through the airport
"Where are you?"
"I'm already on a flight, I'll meet you at the airport, love you"
"Okay, love you" she closed the call, trying to stop herself from crying, she couldn't lose another Dad
The five hour flight felt like forever, everything was going at a snails pace as she tried desperately to contact Sam for updates, she didn't want to be too late, she'd never forgive herself
They'd met by chance nearly four years ago at a concert, she was at college and he'd skipped college because he had this magnificent idea he could break into the animation business, they talked for five hours about music and animation after the concert, and at the end of it they believed in each other. He was fresh to California and homeless, she convinced him to move into her two bed apartment, and in less than three weeks it might as well have been a one bed apartment, they were a couple.
She landed and finally got hold of him, the news of Dad's illness had shaken her, it didn't sound promising,, the cab took the long way around because of traffic and got her to where she now called home in just under 30 minutes. To make it worse Sam was waiting for her on the steps she got to him and broke down unable to believe it was all over, his plan backfired on him when she collapsed in his arms, it was all too much for her "Shit" he hisssed as he caught her "Mike" he called for help "I think we've gone too far" his face worried as they carried her into the house
"We?" Mike asked, his tone telling Sam he had nothing to do with it, he just got there like everyone else "You're on your own with this one dude" he laughed
"Get me some water" he looked over at Tina also keeping well out of it
"Already done" Tina walked up to him with the glass in her hand "Your girl is gonna blow big time when she wakes up" she giggled
"At you too, you knew about this" he barked making sure they knew he wasn't going down alone for this
She woke up to white streamers all over the place, balloons with marry me all over them, a red heart shaped cake against the white backdrop and both Sam's parents standing smiling "What's going on?" she looked around, her eyes stopping on Daniel "Are you alright now?"
"Sorry sweetheart" Daniel smiled at her
"This wasn't supposed to actually end with you on the floor" Sam laughed nervously
"What's going on?" her eyes settled on him
"It was a proposal that's sort of gone wrong" he laughed
"So Dad's not sick?"
"No" he laughed "A proposal" he said again thinking she hadn't heard him
"I heard you the first time and I don't think this is in any way funny" she cut her eye at him "Did you know about this?" she asked Tina and Mike
"Sworn to secrecy" Mike answered for both of them
"We're 22 Sam, don't you think we're a bit young for commitments?"
"No" he frowned "When you know you just know, and we're 23 next month"
"Is that red velvet?" she looked at the cake her eyes widening as her mouth salivated
"Yeah" he stood up, knowing he'd messed the plan up, she hadn't even bothered to answer him "I was supposed to get down on one knee and ask you to marry me, but you fell into my arms, and then totally ignored my proposal"
"You didn't propose, you told me you were going to several times" she sat up telling him
"Cedes" he fell on one knee, grabbing everyone's attention "Will you please marry me?"
"I'll think about it" she laughed getting up to make her way to the cake, he was left kneeling wondering, along with everyone else, what the hell she was playing at. She walked across the room to say hello to the two people she now called Mom and Dad, and then sat eating cake and drinking wine while Sam waited for an answer. It took 2 days to come, finally on Sunday before everyone left, they were sat eating lunch when she randomly announced "Sam and I are getting married in 3 months time, for anyone that wants to come see that happen" of course the house went up in cheers and as said so done, they were married three months later in the village church and honeymooned in Paris. The city of love was too much love for them Mercy came back with morning sickness two weeks later and shortly after that they found out that Tajeune was on the way.
After a very smooth craving filled 9 months he presented himself with his black straight hair, hazel eyes and signature thick lips, it was hard to tell who he got those from, but everyone was sure he was the perfect mix of his parents. Before they had time to breathe his arrival was clouded with the announcement of another pregnancy, just five months after Tajeune was born, and this time the excitement was doubled when everyone learned they were waiting for twins to be born.
Cedes had put the singing on the back burner when she got pregnant with Tajeune so she hadn't been in the studio for over a year and then, just as she was thinking of going back the twins were on the way. They'd had so many conversations about her getting back into singing just months before she'd geared up for it and now everything was on the back burners again
"Sam" she sat playing with Tajeune as he walked into the room, smiling at a very pregnant Cedes before taking their son from her
"Cedes" he looked down kissing her forehead before nuzzling into Tajeaune's tummy with his mouth, both laughing at the child's giggle "Are you alright?" he sat beside her touching their bump
"I've been thinking I want to run something by you"
"Sup?" his attention turned from Tajeune to look at her
"I think I want to stay home and raise our family, maybe until they start school, what do you think?"
"If that's what you want to do I'd love that" he smiled
"So why didn't you say you wanted me to do that" she laughed knocking shoulders with him
"Because it had to be your choice" he laughed
So that was settled, she was staying at home once the twins were born, two months later on a cold winters night, two days before Christmas Eryn and Kyra were born, the girls, in total contrast to their brother had brown blond hair, green eyes, and while Kyra looked like Cedes Eryn was all Sam but they looked alike in the strangest way. Life got busy for both of them, they needed a bigger house, more money and with Cedes not earning Sam took a leap and opened up his own firm, taking Blaine, his right hand man, with him.
They'd been developing characters for the Marvel company and being paid very well to do that, they were good at their jobs, so when they decided to go it alone they had a massive catalogue of clients already wanting their expertise for all sorts of cartoon characters to captivate young and old minds. Less than a year in and they knew they'd made the right move they had money rolling in, smiles on their faces and although Blaine was still looking, Sam had a happy family. The house move happened, they moved out of their two bedroom apartment into a five bedroom house in Malibu, Cedes got a baby goat and called it Prince, while Sam invested in McConaughey, the dog with attitude, he'd always wanted a Maltese, classically known for being cute, which he was, but this baby puppy had a dark side.
It was exciting getting the house ready, getting the children's bedrooms sorted and getting her dream kitchen in their new home, eventually everything was done. The children's routine was set; wake up, eat, feed the pets, bath, get dressed for a trip to the market in the afternoon and cooking when she got back in time for Sam's return, if he was due back that day, if not she'd bake and try to force feed her children healthy veg and fruit, there was no point in cooking lavish dinners for her stubborn children to eat, unless their Dad was there laying down the law, life was busy but rewarding
28 Years Old
See, I know now what's real nice, but what about real life?
I know we got everything we've ever dreamed, alright, but what about real, real life?
Five years on and so much had happened, it seemed like the more she tried to tie her man down the busier he got, time together was getting near impossible, then to her surprise on the day between their birthdays he actually got them a sitter, she got dressed up to the hilt, it had been a good 3 years since they'd done anything like this, they usually just had family round. She was happy that he'd finally heard her and taken the time out, the car came for her, she got in smiling, he'd gone all out on this, it was going to be a great night
"Surprise" she heard as she walked through the door, she smiled but she was pissed inside, okay his parents had made it to Malibu, plus Blaine and his new partner she didn't know were in attendance, but honestly the only difference this year was that it wasn't at home, because now Tajeune was 5 and the girls were 4 he'd allow a sitter to do her job, plus another downer Tina and Mike were living in Germany now for his work, so they weren't there
"Happy birthday babe, I thought you needed a night out" he laughed grabbing her around her waist and pulling her to him to kiss her, it wasn't a passionate kiss she might as well have been his Mom for all the passion he put into it
"Happy birthday" she smiled back at him, she wouldn't have meant it, so she didn't kiss him
She said her hello's, found out Blaine's partner was called Artie, gave kisses and took gifts before finally sitting down to the meal she thought was going to be intimate, sitting there just now listening to all this meaningless conversation she felt almost happy that tomorrow she had something to look forward to, her children would need her, hug her, tell her they loved her and she'd be happy to do Tajeune's school run, watch the girls plays at nursery, deal with the constant accidents and fighting those three brought each day
"Is this a meeting?" she asked eves dropping on his conversation with Artie
"I have to tie up some loose ends babe, I'll be ten minutes tops" he told her turning back to Artie, she couldn't believe the man
She got a glass of wine passed to her, a hug when they spoke to his parent and that was the extent of his affection for the night, the end of the party came quickly as Cedes grabbed her shawl and made for the door grabbing Sam's hand as she went "I want to go home" she whispered when he looked at her
"Excuse me" he told Artie, turning to pay her attention as they walked way from Blaine and Artie "Babe I'm going to Vegas tonight, for a 7am meeting, I'll be back before dinner tomorrow, I'll get you a cab"
"Fine" she cut her eye at him, he was used to that, he smiled lifted her head by her chin and kissed her lips, a very weak sorry but she accepted it
"I'll make it up honest" he smiled at her melting that stone she was always trying to develop where he was concerned
"You better" she giggled, she knew the sacrifices they'd have to make when he started his own business, but three years in and his excuses were getting a bit tired
He got back in time for dinner the following evening, things in the house were much quieter tonight, she'd helped the children do them a birthday cake for dessert so after all the fun he sat reading to them while Cedes went about sorting their clothes out for the morning, packed and started the dishwasher and washing machine and picked up toys "Come on bed" she walked in disturbing their third story "Come on" she clapped her hands at them not moving
"Goodnight" Sam laughed at the children trying to play them off against each other
"McConaughey could do with a walk too" Cedes looked at him smiling, she usually let him out in the morning, afternoon and maybe for half an hour in the evenings but as his actual owner was in the house, he could do the honours tonight, McConaughey was getting the royal treatment tonight he was going to be walking on a street, with lights on
"Yeah" he laughed at McConaughey ears pricking up at hearing his name, he jumped up grabbed his coat and they left the house
He'd promised to make last night up but if he was honest he was whacked, he hadn't slept last night, gone straight into a meeting and the flight home was noisy with a stag night aftermath travelling with them, all he'd wanted to do all evening was fall into bed and close his eyes, the buzz of his phone interrupting his thoughts "Blaine sup?" he flicked his phone open concerned
"Nick's got back he wants a meet in the morning 7am, I couldn't get him to do it any later"
"Man" he hissed, Nick was about to bring them a $3.5m deal, it wasn't something to turn his nose up at, but he'd promised his wife tonight and the most he could do was wake up with her in the morning
"We really can't afford to lose this deal Sam" Blaine reminded him
"Okay, yeah I know, I'll be there"
For him life had become lonely, he loved his family, they were his life but he missed going home and having his wife to himself, just sitting naked in their bedroom talking about life, where it was taking them, the plans they had for it, sharing the fun things that happened for them, to their children, life was slipping away, it was nothing like he'd imagined. He'd worked hard for his family and they enjoyed the life he'd been able to create for them, they never complained and he never wanted Cedes to ever have anything to moan about. His family had told him back then they were too young when he announced he wanted to get married, lucky for him he ignored them and they were still in love, they didn't tell each other very often but he hoped she knew it. He knew he worked too hard and had long hours but he didn't want his parents to ever be right, they'd never asked family or friends for anything, he was proud about that, but the children were growing up, school, college, University everything needed to be paid for as well as Cedes, he knew that with the children growing up Cedes would be ready to do something again, and he had to be ready for that too.
Cedes had rushed the children to bed, he'd promised to make up for yesterday, it was his birthday and with him being home all roads led to that meaning one thing, she ran the bath and quickly jumped in and out, preparing for her husband, a smile on her face before she frowned trying to remember when the last time was. She lay on their bed waiting for him, watching the clock and yawning, she was a lot more tired that she'd thought, she fell asleep waiting
By the time he got back home he found her asleep on their bed, he smiled, she was a good mother, and beautiful wife and she looked super cute, he had a shower and jumped into bed, his head hit the pillow, he smiled at the feeling and the smell of fresh on the sheets, there was nothing like his own bed with is wife in it. He turned to pull her to him, kissed her forehead when she didn't wake up and quickly fell asleep himself
The next day he got up early, before the house woke up got ready and left for his 7am meeting "Tonight" he kissed his wife, leaving a note on the bedside cabinet
Cedes got up about an hour later, looking around the room for him and flopping back on the pillow when she realised he'd already gone "Honestly I do have a fucking husband" she hissed into her pillow
The morning was routine, get the children up, fed, feed the pets, everyone in the bath, then get dressed, Cedes would make Tajeune's lunch box before the school run, then nursery stop, the days highlight was shopping, and then home. The washing needed hanging, the beds need stripping and made again, clean all rooms, prep for dinner and then school run again. She walked into the bedroom and saw the note from Sam, she smiled, he was taking her out and she had to be ready for 7pm, the first thing she did was make a call to the sitter, getting her to do the school run for her, she made dinner for her children and went out to get her hair, nails and make up done, she was back home in time to feed the children and read them a story.
She was sat in her bedroom putting on jewellery when her phone rang she got excited at him calling to check she'd read the note "Babe" she smiled answering the phone
"Babe" he sighed pissed at the excitement in her voice that he was going to crush right now "I'm sorry we have to cancel tonight"
"Honestly?" she hissed so hard it hurt
"Sorry babe, I did this deal this morning gave the guy 48 hours and he's got back to me just now, I have to go to Texas this evening, if I could I'd cancel you know I would"
"Would you?" she threw the phone down on him, this was cruel, but it was work and she'd promised herself she'd never stop him from working, she stayed in her room all evening crying, she was so lonely, and right now her mind was playing tricks, she didn't know if this was about work or another woman
33 Years old
If the years go by and we be getting old, will you still see me, will you see within my soul?
Sometimes, baby, we won't agree, are we going to work on it, or are you walking out on me?
So five more years had gone by and as much as they wanted things to change for them the children were growing up and financially the demands were getting higher, they were all at school now Tajeune was 10 years old and Kyra and Eryn 9 going on 19 years old with all the attitude to match. All three had long hair with loose curls tied back, Tajeune was looking more like Sam now he'd built himself some muscles; he was in the football team, ran a lot and loved music so he played guitar and drums, while the girls, being very much drama queens, didn't surprise anyone when they took up music, drama and collected news for the school gossip column. All that going on at school plus the usual stuff at home kept Cedes busy enough during the days, but she was still lonely, Sam's life hadn't changed
Sam had taken to calling her every day while he was away, he'd sensed that something was wrong, but this business of his was spiralling out of control, he was constantly hiring and firing there was always new competitive stuff coming out it was hard to stay ahead of the game, computers changed every day with the ability to do more magnificent things and his squad needed to be up on it all, but Blaine and he were responsible for the speaking to investors, signing off ideas and sales so they were always away doing one or the other of these tasks all over the world.
The last few times he'd slept with his wife, he was tired and backed up and it felt rushed, predictable even, he never really paid her any attention, not like he used to and when he was home last he felt she'd done that to him, he felt like she wasn't even in the room. Something was going wrong for them and he was trying as best he knew how, with the pressure he had on him, to fix that for them.
Cedes loved her family with everything she was, she missed her husband terribly and over the past few months that had been apparent to her, he'd come home and act like he was going to pay her attention, he didn't take too well to her paying him attention anymore he just wanted action, he'd be inside her in a flash before their lips even met and she'd be on top or underneath him watching him acting like she wasn't even there. The last time she played the game, if the man wanted sex he could have it, but he really wasn't doing anything for her and she wasn't even up for pretending about it, plus after her busy days she was sort of thankful that he didn't have the energy for their days gone by, all night love making marathons
She woke up one morning having has an epiphany, she was stagnant, she'd never agreed to being stagnant she'd agreed to being home while the children needed her, she was sitting back and letting life take over her, meanwhile inside she was developing this hatred for a business that fed, clothed and housed her family and a husband that made that happen "Sam" she called down the phone when he answered
"Are you alright Cedes?" his voice full of concern
"Yes" she giggled
"And the children?"
"Yes Sam" she knew why he was worried, this wasn't normal, it had been a while since she'd phoned him while the children weren't in the house "I called because I woke up this morning knowing why I was feeling lost and of course I need to talk to you about it"
"So everything is alright"
"I want to go back to singing, I want to go see if I'm any good, even if it's just a hobby I just want something for myself"
"You don't need to sell this to me, I've been secretly hoping" he laughed
"So why didn't you say?"
"It was always going to be your choice, I imagined you accusing me of prizing you away from our babies or something"
"That's so random" she laughed "How would you feel if I hooked back up with Will at the studio and got some time booked"
"I'd feel great I love that you've decided you want to get yourself back"
"I do too, feel great that is" she sat hugging the phone at her decision "Bye" she told him remembering he was still on the other side of the phone
"Cedes" he called as she was about to close the call
"Yeah?"
"I know you're feeling neglected, lonely, resentful even, but I do everything for you and the children, I haven't told you for the longest time but I love you babe"
"I love you too babe" she smiled "You just surprised me with that, I didn't know I still had that inside to say"
"I'm glad you do"
"Me too" she smiled genuinely, it had been a while since she'd confirmed she still loved him, she was so busy looking at all the things he wasn't doing for her. He didn't even talk about business at home anymore, she smiled to herself maybe that had something to do with her reaction months ago when he came home excited having closed a deal for some Toy Story type contract, she was so jealous of work getting such a buzz out of him, she just huffed and flicked the TV over "Bye babe"
"Bye Babe"
So less than a week later she'd hooked back up with Will at the studio and got herself an appointment to book some studio time. They had history together, Will was a much older gentleman who hung with her Father in their younger days, she'd been put in contact with him by her Father who finally decided she was taking this singing thing seriously enough for him to ask his friend for studio space. She'd always thought Will gave her the time out of friendship but when her Father passed, she realised he'd been paying for it, he'd left her more than enough money, plus she'd sold the house, because there were too many memories and with her Mom long gone, in childbirth, having her, it seemed pointless having a five bedroom house that felt haunted by the past.
"Mercedes" Will smiled when she walked in the door "You're growing up" he laughed
"I'm a married woman with three children" she laughed "Of course I've grown up" she hugged him as she spoke
"And looking more like your Mother every day"
"Daddy always said that"
"I know you never met her, but you get all this from her, your Dad couldn't even hear a note" he laughed looking around the studio
"Hope I have something in me to make them proud"
"Trust me girl you make them proud every day"
They sat talking about her busy schedule, his busy timetables, her aspirations and finally came up with two days per week at 11am for two hours. So she'd got her regular slots and he'd got his month in advance payments, everyone was happy she couldn't wait until she got home to call Sam, she called him as soon as she stepped out of the studio to let him know, he was excited for her
34 Years Old
See, I know now things are real nice, we got everything, but what about real life?
I know the flower's in bloom, sweet honeymoon paradise, but what about real, real life?
Their lives had made a bit of a swerve now Cedes had something filling one of the gaps she'd found in her life, it still hadn't filled the gap her husband was leaving but she'd guessed only he could fill that and at some point he'd see that and make her his priority for a change. She thought she'd have stopped resenting his work so much but she didn't she hated it more, it kept him away, it was like a mistress that had him sneaking around in the night. He knew how she felt and tried his best not to bring work home to aggravate the situation more, he didn't ever comment on it except if she asked which was rare, conversation around his work usually started with "Had a good day?" and ended with either "Good, Better, Could have been better or The worst" concluded, the children's noise tended to fill the gaps when they were up and the TV filled the gaps late evening, one or the other would announce they were tired and going off to bed leaving the other one up, and very rarely would either of them get disturbed in the night
"How's the singing thing going?" Sam asked one evening as they sat in the strained silence, he couldn't think of anything he could do right now that would change this situation, except give up the business, and until it was running above overheads and giving them a more than comfortable living that couldn't happen, he knew nothing else, there was no way out
"It's good, Will thinks I might have a song to put out, I like it" she smiled at him actually wanting to know
"Release a song, babe that's fantastic" he turned to face her
"Yeah" she giggled proud of herself "If I'm lucky I might be able to get a video with it"
"I guess you have to go all out, get your face out there get some fans" he laughed
"Fans" she rolled her eyes "Can you see me with fans?"
"Actually I can, I mean of course I'd be your biggest one" his hand hit his chest
"Of course" she rolled her eyes before fluttering her eyelashes at him "You'd be my groupie yeah?"
"Your only groupie, I hope"
"That's a fact" infidelity had never been an issue for them they'd sworn that should anything ever happen for any of them they'd say and talk about it, back then they'd agreed the family would always come first whatever the situation, it hadn't been said again but it was one of their relationship unwritten laws "The songs a bit raw right now it needs a lot of fixing and apparently he wants to hear it live too so.."
"There's a process, we knew that right?"
"Right" she looked into his eyes they were both tired, they could see that, but right now they needed to be close, he needed to be close and she needed to be held
"Can we go to bed?" his eyes kept contact with hers, she knew what he meant
"Yeah sure" she smiled wondering where the hell she was going to get this energy from "I'll run the bath" she got up telling him
"I'll be through in a bit" he watched her get up and walk off towards the door before he rubbed his face trying to wake himself up, his body was so tired all he could hope was that he stayed awake long enough to finish
He got up and followed her eventually, walking into the bathroom to a naked Cedes, it lifted him for a few minutes he should have gone in then because as soon as the warm water and bubbles hit his skin he was in sleep town, finding it hard to keep his eyes open as his bones relaxed and the stresses of the day washed away
"Sam" Mercy called waking him up "Come on we fell asleep in the bath" she giggled
"Asleep?" he asked looking around wondering when the hell his eyes closed
"Yeah come on lets get to bed" she jumped up and grabbed a towel passing one to him, he didn't argue to grabbed it dried off and just about pulled her to him before he fell asleep again, both naked, unwilling to spend time getting night clothes on
The next morning he was back to work mode and by day three he was off on another one of his business trips, she was back in the studio perfecting her song and hoping that this was the last take on it, even she was getting fed up of hearing those first few bars. Ten days later he was back, tired, grumpy and looking ill "Are you alright?" she asked seeing him walk through the door and throw his briefcase down at the door
"I'm coming down with something"
"I'm not surprised you haven't given yourself a break since you started"
"Cedes if you're going to go on about that damn holiday you need so much, could we just leave it, my heads banging"
"Go to bed Sam" was all she came back with, looking at the children's heads popping up at his tone
"Yeah, I think I'll do that" he walked off towards the stairs "Hi Clan" he shouted remembering he'd just walked into his home "And Cedes" he stopped to look back at her "I'm sorry, I just feel like crap today"
"You look like crap Sam Evans" she smiled at him, he was hardly ever sick enough to moan about it, so the fact that he was moaning today made her know he really was ill
She did her usual chores around the house, sorted the children out, the pets, bath time was as noisy as it usually was and then 30 minutes quiet time before lights out and she'd checked to make sure they were asleep an hour later, then it was time to look after the big baby. She stood in the kitchen at 8pm making chicken broth and brought it to him with two paracetamol and water, he was still fast asleep when she walked in the door, she lay the tray down and sat on the bed watching him sleep, he was still the handsome man she'd married just over 11 years ago. Yes he'd probably missed 9 of those 11 wedding anniversaries, along with missed birthdays for the children and them, family occasions and school plays but they'd survived all those obstacles. She really couldn't hate him for doing what he'd promised he was going to do, he was taking care of his family by any means necessary, she knew him, she understood what his promises meant to him and to her, but if it was going to send him to an early grave, she'd have to make him break it, because whatever this life they were living was, she couldn't see it going any other way but with him
"Babe" he opened his eyes smiling for seeing her sat watching him "I was dreaming we actually got a day on our own, it was beautiful" he stretched "Shit" he flinched with the pain in his limbs
"Paracetamols and chicken broth" she held the tray up smiling "For the pain" she laughed "And please send that dream my way when you're done with it"
"I'm exhausted Cedes, absolutely exhausted" he rested his head on his pillow "Blaine's been handing jobs back, I think he might walk soon, we sort of put all our eggs in one basket, saying we could do this and now instead of slowing down I feel like I'm ready to keel over with the pressure"
"Employ more people"
"I'm taking new people on nearly every week" he huffed "I've got project managers coming out my ears, but someone needs to manage the managers and bring the work in"
"Is the business in trouble?"
"No"
"So maybe you have to be more selective with your contracts"
"If I knew which ones were going to bring the money in maybe I could do that"
"Maybe for once you can select some and make them make money for you"
"Maybe" his mind full of ideas around doing just that "Thanks for listening, I know you don't like the subject"
"But I love you and when this shit makes you ill that becomes my business Mr" she brushed his face with her hand "Now drink this before it gets cold, take your tablets and get some rest" she took his phone out the room with her when she left, he didn't even argue, he'd just told her he was exhausted.
Day three and he was feeling more like himself again, he'd stayed in bed for nearly two days and ate his first solids since getting home on the second evening. This morning he was feeling human, he got up to eat breakfast with his family and watch the children go off to school, Tajeune was going to school on his own now while Cedes was still taking Kyra and Eryn, so while she was away he went out with McConaughey to check on the grounds. He'd never really paid much attention to what Cedes did while she was home he just knew every time he walked into the place it felt like home and it was perfect, but today he watched her washing, cooking, ironing, cleaning
"Stop will you" he begged when she manouvered the hoover under his chair
"You don't think all this mess magically goes away do you?" she laughed
"No but I think we should be doing more, the children and I, I mean"
"Like?" she stopped hoovering to ask
"Stripping the beds when we get out of them, putting toys away at night, cleaning bedrooms on weekends, stuff like that"
"That's great but I know how I like things to look at I know what needs doing, I'm fine doing it" she smiled "Anyway, I'm on cloud nine, I find out if my single's ready today" she squealed
"You never said"
"You've been ill"
"I have to go back to work tomorrow, but could we go out for a meal later, all of us, it's been forever, I could have done with a day but with school and you missing studio time so close to release and everything?"
"That would be really nice"
The children were more than excited about going out for a real family meal, they had more than they could eat, took some home and while chattering ate it before they got home they were ready to roll into bed by the time the car stopped outside the house "Come on, up, bath" Sam ordered, there was no usual noise, just children being orderly, doing as they'd been told, they didn't even bother with their 30 minute chill time they were fast asleep before their heads hit the pillows.
"You did well" Cedes brought his hot drink in to him "I thought you were going to combust at one point but you kept the fluids going in" she smiled sitting next to him on the couch
"I still feel a bit off, but I really needed time with you guys" he smiled taking the drink "Thanks"
"I think you need a warm bath and bed too, especially it you're still set on going to work tomorrow"
"I have to" he frowned, she didn't say it but she understood
Two weeks on and he was fine again running around even more than he had been before, if there was a cold to be caught it had to be quick because he wasn't standing still that long
"Cedes you alright?" he asked pressing answer on his phone
"Yeah we're fine I just have news" she was giggling already "Will said if I have around $1m I can do a decent music video and I was wondering exactly how much was in the wife fund now?"
"A bit more than that" he laughed "I'm working my ass off, it's your money just grab the card and go look"
"I don't like..."
"I know how you are about me going into your things, but I'm not precious"
"Okay, I'm going to call him get him to set that up"
"Enjoy" he laughed, he was quite looking forward to it, seeing his wife as some sort of sexy diva
"See you in a week, love you"
"Love you too babe" he smiled at her talking the initiative on that as he closed the call, the old Cedes was coming back
A week later he was home, she wasn't in when he got there so he finished making dinner, and was sat watching the TV when his family burst through the door, he had things on his mind "Nice surprise" Cedes smiled walking towards him for a kiss
"I finished early plus I have news" he frowned "After the children are sorted" his last word hitched as Tajeune slammed into his chest while Eryn and Kyra fought for attention from the side lines
"Homework" Cedes shouted at them watching them all scatter to do as told for once
"I finished dinner" he told her as she made to go to the kitchen
"You mean you brought food in?" she asked shocked
"No I finished the veg and boiled the rice" he laughed
"You're right, we need to talk" she giggled
The family shared the evening, there was much chat about the day from all children, Sam sat basking in it, this was what he worked for, these happy faces, this love, this life.
"So what did you want to talk about" Cedes sat on the couch next to him, smiling as he cuddled her like he used to
"Blaine's leaving" he frowned "he announced it today apparently he's going to New York to do his own thing"
"Well you always said he was capable of it"
"Yeah but we've been in this since the beginning and I'll miss him" he frowned "I don't think it was a shock or anything, I expected it, but he's only giving us a month to find someone"
"Maybe you need to look at what you need to slow down and get that in rather than finding another Blaine"
"Maybe" he smiled "He's having a leaving do the end of the month, will you come, it would be nice if you could?"
"I'll come" she leaned in and kissed him
"Dad Kyra keeps turning the light back on" Eryn stood in the doorway disturbing their moment
"I'm coming" he told his daughter
"When are you interviewing" Cedes asked
"Next week, Blaine and I are going to do it" he told her as he walked towards a waiting Eryn
35 Years old
I'm talking six in the morning, who's feeding baby?, and the landlord keeps calling, you helping pay the rent
Sickness and health, you by my side, are you the one, baby, that's always down to ride?
If I'm in the hospital, will you bring my medicine?, let's say I lose it all, am I still your everything? oh baby, I really need to know
Life had moved them along slowly, birthdays, main holidays and anniversaries went by, Blaine and Sam had parted company professionally, but not before they'd employed a new Lead Engineer, Lead Designer, Production Coordinator and a PA. Cedes had done all the auditions for people to dance in her new video and things were about to get busy, things moved from the recording studio to a kitted out studio ready for rehearsals.
They were both busy with life, and yet they still periodically felt lonely, pressing on with making sacrifices for a life they'd chosen, determined not to prove their family right.
Cedes
She'd thought the whole thing was going to be an intimate filming with her walking around in her fairy tale world, picking flowers and singing her semi-raunchy love song about her man, trying to get him to see what was missing for her in their lives, that's what she meant it to be. Somehow in between the conversation and two days later when she'd secured the funding for the project it had become this mammoth production with a producer, director, costume designer, lighting designer, movement director, a camera person, hair and make-up artists and post-production editor, dancing girls, almost naked men and her being thrown on the bonnet of a damn car, trying to look like she was ready for sex
It was day four of the week long shoot and truth be told she was fed up of doing the same take over and over a gain, she rolled her eyes as Justin came walking towards her his muscles rippling with every move, the man was fine no doubt "Morning Mercedes"
"Morning Justin" she smiled
"Okay lets get this done" the director shouted across the room "Let's do the bonnet scene"
"Okay" Cedes got into position ready to be thrown on the bonnet, the song started and she stood mouthing the words as people danced around the car, Justin picked her up like she was paper and slammed her on the bonnet of the car, opening her legs to stand between them as she mouthed "I'm Yours" she felt awkward, and of course it showed, so they did the scene several times more.
By take 10 they finally got the look, feel, whatever it was the man was looking for "And cut" he shouted everyone except Cedes and Justin moved, they stood looking into each others eyes
"Excuse me" she finally looked down showing him he was pinning her on the bonnet "Can I get off now?"
"Yeah sorry" he moved out the way and helped her down
Cedes walked off thinking whatever the hell that was needed to disappear and quick, what the hell was she thinking
Day six and they were almost at the end of the shoot, Cedes was stood with dancers all around her, apparently the scene hadn't got enough dancing in it and they wanted to change the routine, so she did her thing smiling for the camera and gave her sexy look at the end when Justin lifted her on the car bonnet again. She quickly climbed off it and found her dressing room once the director had called wrap, she was relieved it was finally all over, she was sat wiping make up off her face when the door opened suddenly
"So Mercedes" she turned at Justin standing the doorway uninvited "I don't know about you but I definitely feel the sexual tension between us, do you?"
"I..."
"I knew you felt it too" he walked towards her, she held her hands out to stop him getting close
"Look Justin I can't lie, I forgot myself for a millisecond, but I'm married"
"I'm not and I'm not inviting your husband to this party, I know some of you married people are kinky that way" he laughed
"I'm not inviting you into our bed" she laughed
"So if you want we can do this right here" he grabbed her hands and pulled them firmly but slowly lifting her off the chair as he spoke while stepping closer to her
"Justin" she gasped as his breath hit her face, everything suddenly going in slow motion as he gently grabbed hold of her face and pulled her to him, instinctively her eyes closed as his head came down to meet hers. It had been a while since she'd gasped with anticipation, maybe because he grabbed her face and looked deep into her eye and she could see want, making her feel sexy, lovable, wanted, even aroused "God" she gasped opening her eyes and pulling away milli-seconds before their lips touched, it felt like she'd visited another world, except she'd felt that before, with her husband
"It will feel like heaven" he pulled her back to him
"Sorry" she pulled away firmly "I can't do this, I'm married, I have a family and I love my husband"
"And with all that we've got this far, and your still standing here, trying, very unsuccessfully I might add, to talk yourself out of what you know you want" he pulled her back to him
"No" she pulled away again jerking her body out of his hands "I don't want this" she pushed him away "You need to leave"
"Are you sure?"
"Very" she nodded, watching him walk out, she didn't even finish taking her make up off, she grabbed her purse and left for home, crying all the way, she'd cheated on Sam, even thought it was just a second, she'd done it and she had to come clean
Sam
Sam had new people on his team but instead of more hands making light work, he was busier getting them all trained up, the only compensation being that Jack; his Production Coordinator had come from another global agency and he was proving to be a massive help. He'd taken on a PA whose resume and presentation told them he was brilliant but in reality he proved incompetent, he was getting meeting times and dates wrong, not producing paperwork on time, and all he seemed to actually know to do on a computer was play games, he had to let him go. That saw the start of the stream of agency staff that fell through the door, on occasion Sam didn't even know who his PA was, some random would walk up to him with his timetable in their hand shouting orders at him.
One day Sam had simply had enough, he called the agency and asked them to send one person, otherwise he would be terminating the contract, the next day in popped Carole, a tall blond, perfect teeth, presentable and turning a head or two. From day one everyone in the office could see the girl thought too much of herself but her work couldn't be faulted great organisational skills, remembered details he'd forgotten and she could actually type as well as note take, so despite office unrest she was a keeper.
After 3 months of agency working he finally called her in and gave her the job permanently, she was happy. Two weeks in he walked into his office and was shocked "Where are the pictures of my family?" he asked looking at the space they used to be in filled with tension beads and pen holders
"I didn't think it was very business like" Carole told him
"Please don't touch my things"
"Okay, I just thought I was helping" she smiled walking up to his desk
"And you are but please, not my things" he told her, his voice dismissive as he watched her walk towards the door, stepped out of it and shut it behind her
Less than a month after that they had words again, this was becoming a bit of a habit for this girl, he was constantly having to tell her things weren't her business, like sending Cedes flower's, not transferring calls from the children, refusing Cedes calls because he was busy sitting in his office, and of course he was getting it all when he got home.
He'd been to a morning meeting, just got back to the office and was expecting a contract to be waiting for him to read and sign from a funder, he opened his office door to see Carole sitting in his office at the coffee table "What are you doing in here?" he asked throwing his coat on the hanger
"It was too noisy out there" she pointed at the open plan office space were everyone else worked
"Okay I need some space right now so.." he pointed to the door watching her get up and leave, it was family night tonight and he had plans for another exciting night, they'd carried them on since the first one and he felt good about it, no matter what he was doing Friday night was family night and nothing came before it. He sat down and grabbed the contract to read it, his attention drawn a while later by the door opening
"Sam" Carole came in smiling "Dexter's have cancelled your morning meeting tomorrow, so I moved Pen forward to 11am, so you can stop reading that contract, you have free time until 5pm" she looked up at the clock "One hour fifteen minutes" she smiled "We could do a very late lunch or an early dinner" she suggested
"I'm fine I have plans for tonight" his eyes went back to the contract he was reading
"That's at 6pm isn't it?"
"It's whenever I finish here" he looked up wondering why this woman had so many questions "Which you've just told me is 3.45" he looked at the clock himself
"I thought we could..." she walked towards him biting the bottom lip, he'd been out the game for a while, but he knew what that meant when Cedes did it
"Please don't tell me this is one of those situations I warned you about when you started?" he got up telling her
"I was agency then"
"Look" his hands went up stopping her from getting closer "Carole you've proved to be a brilliant PA please don't spoil it" he watched as she carried on walking towards him, she got to him and reached in the kiss his lips he moved back quickly, looking at her, he couldn't lie the temptation was there, he wasn't tired, he could have easily taken this on and never have been found out "I'm happily married Carole" he pushed her back lightly, smiling at her pursed lips waiting "This was very tempting but I love my wife, my family and my life" he laughed "So no thanks" he stepped past her across the room and grabbed the door handle "Bye" he opened the door telling her
She stood for a second wondering if he was being serious, walking up to him to try again "Last chance" she stood as close as she could to him as she spoke, he could feel her breath on his face
"Mmm, and collect your belongings on your way out" he slammed the door behind her, he was angry at himself, he'd actually stood there and had a indecent thought about another woman, he grabbed his jacket, didn't even bother to get his briefcase and made his way home, pissed that this was going to be tonights topic with his wife
I know now things are real nice, alright, but what about real life?
I know we got everything we've ever dreamed, paradise, oh, but what about real, real life?
Sam walked into the house to be greeted as usual by the children, they were past excited to see what was in store for the evening "Where's Mom?" he asked Tajeune
"She's in the kitchen, she's been crying again" he whispered in his Dad's ear
"Okay" he looked at the kitchen door knowing that wasn't going to be her last cry for the night, he paid the children some attention before finally getting up to go find his wife "The children said you were..."
"I'm fine"
"Are you?" he asked walking towards her
"Don't Sam" she moved as he went to kiss her "The children are looking forward to tonight can we just talk later"
"Sure" he let her shoulders go and stepped back, watching as she went off to get the children sorted for the evening out
The children kept the night alive, Sam had chosen bowling; girls against boys, of course the girls won, then for winning the girls had to pay for the meal they sat playing I spy and Simon says while eating through three very large Pizza's at Pizzanista before stopping off at Malibu Lake to compete for skimmer champion in the moonlight, ending with a race back to the car and sleep all the way home for the children
"Are you alright, you've been awfully quiet all night" Cedes asked him as he drove
"Yeah, I guess I need to talk too"
By the time the children finally wound down it was way past 10pm but they were both determined not to go to bed, especially with each other, without having this conversation "This is going to hurt, it's hurting me" Cedes sat on the couch next to him, turning to look at him
"I know" he half smiled grabbing her hand "I need to say first off I'm sorry"
"I'm the one that's sorry Sam"
"Why?" he looked at her puzzled and suddenly scared "I swear, I'll give it all up, go for a 9-5 job, I can do better just give me one last…"
"Sam" she put her fingers over his mouth "I have no intention of leaving you" she smiled "Don't ever think that" she frowned "But you might want to leave me"
"You might want to leave me"
"I..." she looked into his eyes "Shit" she hissed as a tear fell down her face
"I'm scarred too" his eyes filled with water
"God Sam did you sleep with someone?"
"No" the question jerked him "Did you?"
"No"
"So maybe we can fix this" he touched her hand
"I nearly kissed someone today" they looked at each other both saying the same thing
"It didn't actually happen" he grabbed her hand telling her "And I sacked her, but what I'm ashamed of is that for a second my mind went there, it was only a second but I let us down and I'm so sorry about it"
"It didn't happen for me either, but it nearly did and I have the same guilt" she smiled "I'm so sorry"
"We are aren't we?" he laughed
"We can't even cheat on each other properly" she laughed
"That's a good thing isn't it?" he smiled
"It is, but I need to be honest with you, I need more Sam, I love our family, I appreciate everything you do for us I really do, but I need my husband back, the one that makes love to me passionately, tells me he loved me every day in all different kinds of ways, I need our spark back"
"I crave for us back too, I want to make love to you every damn day, but we both got bogged down with life and I just let my promise to you all take over, you know how I am with promises, but today I promise to change this for us, I don't ever want even a seconds doubt to come into my mind ever again"
"And I promise to change me for us"
"I don't want you to change, I love every bit of you as you are"
"I know I just said all that but I don't want you to change either, I just want time"
"We both want the same thing"
"We do" she smiled, and he knew how he was going to make that happened
"So how did that kiss nearly happen?" he pulled her to him asking, listening as she told him how it went
"And yours?" she looked at him frowning
"Show me that 'all yours' move first" he demanded, pretending he couldn't picture it
"That's something we haven't done in a while" she giggled getting up to dance and sing for him, giving him a lap dance while she sang 'All Yours' by Violet Tyson "Can I take that kiss now?" she sat in his lap at the end of the song asking
"All yours" he smiled, they sat looking into each others eyes, she felt it, he loved her, there eyes closed and their lips met
36 Years Old
And what about real life? oh, real, real life
Yes, I know the flower's in bloom, sweet honeymoon paradise
But what about real life? what about real, real life?
They'd stuck to their word, they were both making the effort for their relationship. Sam was learning to let go of elements of the business, he'd got himself a male PA who he got on with, and his Production Coordinator had been promoted and was heading projects he didn't want to be bothered with, they were still having 'Family night Fridays', but he was spending a lot more time at home. Cedes new single was a steady climber, it had taken nearly six weeks to burst into the top 100 after the nearly four months it took to finally release it, they celebrated every step of the way and now five months since release it was in the top 40
That happened two days before her 36th birthday so all the family came down to help them celebrate as usual on the day between their birthdays, Sam had promised something special for their anniversary to make up for all the ones they'd missed together and she was excited for that
13th Anniversary
Yeah, what about real, real life? yeah, what about real, real life?, yeah, what about real, real life?
Can I count on you? in real life, I wanna know, hey, hmm mmm, real life
They woke up tired but satisfied on the morning of their anniversary, they'd broken their ten year record and stayed at it for nearly fifty minutes in one sitting, every inch of their bodies tingling as they brought life back into their once dying relationship. The children now 12 and 11 were staying with Sam's Mom and Dad, it was a rare treat for both of them and they welcomed the weekend to themselves, they stayed in, walked around the house naked, cooked, had a drink and fell into bed "I brought you a dress for today" he told her as they got up to visit the shower
"Why are you buying me dresses?"
"For our anniversary" he laughed
"It better be white"
"It is" he laughed pushing her ahead of him, he sat watching her do her make up and helped her zip up the beautiful cotton summer frock, with its' wide neck, sleeves to the elbows, clinging to her body on the bodice and lots of pleats on the skirt, that hit just past her knees "Ready?" he asked when she finally put her comb down
"Yes" she turned smiling at him
"Beautiful" he jumped up grabbing her hand making their way down the stairs
"T" she screeched at seeing Mike and Tina standing in the hall, it had been maybe eight years since they'd actually seen each other, they'd moved to Germany for Mike's job
"Cedes" Tina screeched back, while Sam, Blaine, Artie and Mike said their hellos before settling down for the rest of the festivities
"What's happening?" she looked at Sam asking
"We're renewing our vows" he smiled, grabbing a white jacket from the stair rail. smiling at Blaine, before they stood in front of the minster, just their friends around them
"Sam I believe you had something to say" the minister turned to him smiling
"Yeah" he looked at Cedes smiling "Will you sing for us?"
"What now?" she looked at their friends smiling, Sam stood nodding his head
"I think the song says it all" he smiled taking some tatty paper out of his pocket "Remember this?" presenting her with the song they'd written when they were 20 years old
"Sam" she smiled as the piano starting, they both cried as they stood listening to the song they'd playfully written years before they got married, had children and their life was taken over by harsh reality, back then they'd thought they knew real life, there was more passion in this version, they were talking from experience now "Can I still count on you?" she asked when she finished
"Always" he smiled kissing her lips lightly before pulling her to him
The ceremony took place before they flew off for their first holiday since their honeymoon "No more babies Sam" she warned as they walked into the hotel