The Song Writer
Sam Evans used to be a very outgoing man, girls were instantly attracted to him, and in the beginning it was fun, he'd got away with things ordinary men couldn't because of his good looks, his parents money and his never ending thirst for girls, he hit 25 and decided he was going to settle down a bit. Within three months he'd met the perfect girl she really wasn't like the rest, she was everything his Mom would have been proud of him bringing home, and to be fair the whole family was. Looking back you could say it was inevitable, he was going to mess it up, he might have left his old life, but his old life was having a hard time letting him go.
Their relationship had started in the serious zone and progressed from there, they'd both made commitments to the relationship, knowing she was going to be away a lot pursuing her music career, and they'd both said they'd be fine with it. Their plans were in place, she was on the beginning of her journey to being what she'd always wanted to be, that R&B singer, who's name the world would have on the tips of their tongue whenever they thought of beautiful songs, and he was taking more interest in the restaurant he'd been gifted by his parents. The reality of it all was a lot more testing then they'd both initially thought, on the day the promise was broken, he'd have liked for it to have been a relief or the end of a really bad idea, but the next day he woke up realizing it was only the beginning of the torture he'd brought on himself
He'd spent the last four months trying to make contact with her, but she seemed to have moved on, recently she was splashed across some magazine with a gentleman friend changing her status on her social media by the hour to 'Finally happy' 'Free' 'In my feels' or 'Loved', succeeding at making him mad as hell. He was following her on all media under a pseudo name, he'd written funny whimsical replies to her tweets, sent emojis of him listening to her music, sent questions in when she did Q&A sessions on Facebook but she'd never answered of acknowledged any of them. Things started to get a bit urgent for him after a while, he started writing songs, in the hope that one of them would grab her interest and she'd sing it, remember him and come running back, they'd written her latest release together just before she left he sat remembering the words "You saved me, you saved me yeah, with your superhuman powers you saved the day, you saved me, you saved me yeah, like a hero from an epic movie you stole the show..." these days he didn't feel very much like a damn hero 'Saved Me' by Montina Cooper
He'd spent two months sending three of his songs out before he even heard a whisper of anything called excitement, his restaurant was keeping him busy in the meantime, week eight and someone called August Rigo wanted him in on a song he was trying to put together, he'd read some of his stuff and thought he'd give him a try. After a week of searching, strumming and listening they finally came up with 'Nicotine' he never did let August know how personal it was, but that phrase, 'Girl your nicotine type love got me feeling can't get enough, need you to save me, and this roller coaster of a night got me fearing for my life or whatever the case may be, I'm still rolling with you, ride or die with no lose .." was all about him still rolling with the woman that didn't even want to know he still existed. A week later he heard the song breaking in on Spotify, and suddenly he was in the loop, he was getting calls, getting ready to enjoy the ride, that same week he got a call from a name that wasn't so strange to him, the prick had been plastered across a magazine with his girl last month
"Sam Evans?" the voice asked
"Yep" he was ready for business
"You don't know me, my name's Leven Kali, I got your name from my agent and I just wondered if you have any time to get creative with me?"
"You want a song?" he stood wondering why this mane would be fucking with him right now for a song
"Yeah I liked what you did with August and I need to apologize to someone, I thought I could make a statement with a song"
"When are you ready to do that?" he asked trying to keep calm, checking Mercy's status to see if she'd changed it from 'Happy'
"Are you free next week?"
"I can be" he smiled at seeing the 'Free' status, that had lasted less than a week
"I'm guessing about three days, maybe a week at the most, top rate"
"Send me the details" he closed the call and punched the air, it wasn't the break he was expecting but it was a break, his plan was, if this dude wanted to sing his way back into Mercy's heart, he was going to do it using his words to say exactly what he needed to say to her to get her back
A week passed and nothing, that Leven was full of shit, maybe the guy just wanted to hear what the competition sounded like. Sam ended up taking another job, doing some work with this producer Madge. She had a up and coming artist, she was trying to get a break in song for, that gig lasted for the full week, and he came away from it feeling drained, he'd literally spit his life out on that one, all the regret he'd ever felt about what he'd done to bring their relationship to a horrible end had come to a head, he sat in his restaurant remembering the whole sick scenario
Flashback
"Hi" she'd walked into the restaurant shocking him
"Hi" he stood up, obviously happy to see her, she'd been in Brooklyn for three weeks filming some video and doing some promotion for her first song off her album, they'd both been excited about it, determined it was going to be the making of her "I didn't expect to see you until Friday" he kissed her, hugging her for as long as she'd let him, there was something about her that made him feel uncomfortably comfortable, he wasn't used to feelings when it came to women, but she brought them out in him
"We finished early and I thought I'd surprise you" she giggled sitting in the chair opposite him
"We could go somewhere a bit more private if you want" he looked around, his eyes sparkling at the lust in hers
"No this is fine, I'll have a latte please" she smiled taking her jacket off to hang it on the back of her chair
"Sure you don't want to go straight home?" he giggled, knowing her game had started already
"Jury is definitely out on that one" she giggled watching him go order her drink
"So" he came rushing back to the table "How did everything go?"
"I had some input, I'm not totally happy with it, but it's alright" she turned to say a silent thank you to the waitress, before carrying on "I've asked for more say in the next one, and they didn't say no, so we'll see" she sipped her drink "Enough about work, what have you been up to?" she looked around "Why are you here today, it's Thursday creative day?"
"Who told you I was here?"
"Who do you think, Blaine, but if you weren't home you could only be here" she rolled her eyes looking around the restaurant "Your phone's off"
"Oh yeah, it's dead" he took it out his jacket pocket "I only stopped in for a quick drink, we could go home, chill, talk"
"Rest assured, we are going home, but let me at least finish my drink" she held it up "And I'm bursting for the bathroom" she got up to visit the familiar room, coming back a few minutes later "So I'll meet you there in ten" she sat down smiling for the game they were about to play
"Five" he laughed
"Hey" a voice grabbed their attention "Couldn't wait any longer?" the tall, slender, dark haired, Italian looking girl giggled "Okay" she looked down at Mercy sitting there "I think you're in my seat" she tapped Mercy's shoulder as she spoke
"Sorry" Mercy turned round fully to look at her
"Santana this is Mercy"
"And this is Santana" the girl pointed to herself "So are you going to get up, or is this going to get ugly?"
Mercy looked at Sam for a second wondering what was going on "What's happening?" she asked him
"It's not what you think..." Sam started in
"His girlfriends arrived and you need to step the fuck off" Santana rested her left hand on her hip and put the other one on the back of the chair Mercy was sitting on
"Girlfriend?" Mercy asked him
"Santana you're not my girlfriend" he shouted at her "We were just meeting up for a coffee that's all" he told Mercy
"So why didn't you say when I got here?"
"She was late, I didn't think she was coming"
"I was late?" Santana asked rolling her eyes "I was late because you left me in your damn bed"
"Okay" Mercy got up and grabbed her jacket "Fuck you Evans" she looked at him before walking off
"He did, very nicely I must add" Santana laughed
"Santana" he hissed "Mercy, she's lying" he jumped up "Mercy" he caught up with her at the door "Look, she slept upstairs and I was there we'd been drinking, nothing happened"
"You had a girl in your place Sam, nothing happened?"
He knew she knew for the old Sam everything would have happened "I guess I'm thinking maybe I've made a big fuck up, but you must admit, we've jumped into this settling down thing way too fast, we're still young and..." he grabbed her arm
"What happened to, there is no age when it comes to love?" she looked at him her eyes full of tears
"Look Mercy, it's not you honestly, you're pretty, sexy, and I do love you, I really do believe you're the one, but settling down is maybe not the right thing for us just now" his breath hitting her face as he spoke "I can't deal with this fucking stress" he went to kiss her
"No" she pulled away, wiping the tears from her face "I'm not that girl Evans, this circle of shit you're in is not for me"
"You're not leaving me" he hissed "Why don't we just take some time out, see how we feel in say a month" he pulled her back into him, his voice calm but begging
"Yeah" she smiled up at him "Except.. lets make that a life time, lose my fucking number" she pushed him away from her "I hate you" she shouted as she walked away
End of Flashback
"What a stupid fucking thing to request" he laughed at himself because the joke was on him when she really didn't come back that night. When he finally got home he was glad to see the place, sleeping in log cabins is all good and well in the summer, but winter was a bitch, and he loved his home comforts. He didn't get much time to spend at home, that call finally came from Leven Kali and within the week he was off to create again. It turned out to be a really successful meet up, for one it wasn't a log cabin in the winter forest, and secondly he was really easy to work with, they seemed to be thinking along the same lines
Randy and Eric were on a different path at the beginning of the week, but Leven and Sam seemed to have been on the same journey, which was only natural if they'd had that experience with the same girl. The fact that they'd dated the same girl was never mentioned, and to be fair Leven was just as cagey about his time with her, if he had spent time with her, as Sam was "So this woman that broke your heart?" Leven asked as they parted company "What did you say her name was?"
"I didn't" Sam laughed "She goes by so many"
"But there is one specific one?"
"There is, and that goes to the grave with me" he laughed
"Fair enough" Leven knocked fists with him and parted company
It was a week later when Sam heard the song 'Made 4 U' by Leven Kali on the airways, he lay on the lounger at his parents house, by his pool thinking somewhere in the world she was sitting listening to that song he'd had something to do with and when she heard the words "I'm made for you, every single piece of me, part of me, everything, you're all of me, I'm made for you, all through my bones, head to my toes..." she'd just for that second have him on her mind, and for that second, he'd accomplished what he'd set out to do, she knew those lyrics she'd helped him put them together
"Sam" he heard shaking him out of his daydream "Is this that song you were playing the other day?"
"Yeah" he turned to smile at his sister
"I'm glad you've started writing about your feelings, getting it out your system" Quinn told him
"Yeah" he smiled watching her let go of Damon, for him to get to his Uncle
"Hey little fella" he sat up and grabbed the dark haired, brown eyed six year old for a hug "Where's Joe?" he asked his sister
"Work" she laughed "He works about two weeks to make what you just made" she nodded at the song playing on the music channel
"Somebody's has to"
"I guess they do" she turned to go find their Mom, hearing Sam baby talking with Damon, brought a smile
After the celebratory meal he went off home, he didn't have many friends now a days, he'd been best friends with Blaine until he'd sent Mercy to the restaurant setting him up for whatever reason, that blow out had been epic too, he sat on his couch wondering how he'd managed to lose four people in two days
Flashback
The shit with Mercy had happened and for about a two days, it really didn't affect him, he had Santana hanging on his every word, trying to get into his pants, but Quinn had already told him she was high maintenance, so he was never going there. Santana; along with most of the girls that tended to run after him, was a friend of Quinn's, or at least pretended to be to get to him.
He's woken up in a different mood on day three, maybe it was the fact that today was the day Mercy was supposed to have come home, he'll never know now, but he was sad, not just sad but scary sad. Quinn had warned him, but he really didn't think a drink would have led to ten it wasn't even a date, they literally couldn't walk any further and crashed at his place.
During the early hours of the morning he'd woke up in a cold sweat, he lay in bed looking around the room, seeing Mercy all over it, it took him a few minutes to realize what was going on, he was actually missing her "I made a mistake" he sat up talking to himself "I made a fucking mistake" he rubbed his head
"About what?" the voice shocked him, his head jerked round and looked at her before he remembered Santana was in his place
"Get up, you have to go, get up" he rolled off the couch her hard "Come on Santana, I'm not joking get up, get out, this isn't a fucking hotel"
"What?" she gasped she didn't know what was happening, but he didn't either, not enough to explain it to her anyway
"You just need to go, please Santana" the emotion was overwhelming, he needed to cry, and he had to be alone to do it "I'll call you later" he held his head forcing the tears to stay in, waiting for her to get dressed and leave, the door just about closed before he let his face go and the first tear rolled down his cheek, he broke down and cried for ten minutes before he got mad, of course his anger hit the people that were close to him, he called Blaine first
"Dude" Blaine's voice tired but playfully happy on the other side of the phone
"I'm glad you're fucking happy" he snapped at him
"What the fucks wrong with you?"
"What's wrong?" he shouted down the phone "Why did you send Mercy to the restaurant the other day?"
"She asked where you were"
"But you knew why I was there, and you fucking sent her down anyway" it had been a simple drink with Blaine, Sebastian and Santana, but they had ended up in his flat above the restaurant because she couldn't walk and a cab wouldn't take her, it wasn't planned. He woke up as shocked as the next man, he went down to the restaurant and called Blaine to vent his disgust at himself for doing that to Mercy. Blaine had convinced him that maybe what he thought he had with Mercy wasn't love at all, maybe he just felt guilty for taking her virginity, the conversation had finally ended with Blaine advising him to take some time out to figure out if any of the relationships were what he wanted
"Listen" Blaine shouted back at him
"No you fucking listen" he stopped him "Every fucking secret I ever held for you is coming out to that guy of yours"
"Sam" Blaine shouted down the phone, ringing back when Sam cut him off, but got no answer. Sam was so angry he texted Sebastian straight away to tell him Blaine had slept with this guy called Kurt on more than one occasion since they'd been together.
His next task was making an enemy of Santana, he called her to meet him at the restaurant that day
"Hi" she walked in looking around "Not another girl is there?" she laughed
"No" he smiled "Sit down, we need to talk"
"Is this the break up?"
"We're not together Santana" he frowned "Thing is, Mercy is my significant other, I didn't realize how much two days ago, but I love her, you're a friend that's overstepped the mark and I should have shouted you out when you did it"
"So what were we?" she asked
"If i have in any way, I need to apologize for leading you on, this could never happen for us, I'm sorry"
"Please tell me you don't think she's going to take you back after all that the other day?" she grabbed his hand, trying not to beg
"I don't expect her to, but I'm going to do everything in my power to try"
"You're a stupid bastard Sam Evans" she jumped up and grabbed her bag, leaving the bar hurling abuse at him
"Sorry" he sat listening to her rant before the door banged "Sorry" he told his customers
End of Flashback
He was on a roll he knew that, he had enough deep scars of love ruined, hearts broken, shame, anger and regret, to write about, that shit kills from the inside out. If he wasn't in the restaurant cooking up a storm for fun, he was sitting in the cellar, or their penthouse apartment writing sad love songs and sending them out. He hadn't been back to his apartment since he'd thrown Santana out of it there were too many memories
"Who the fuck.." he jumped at his phone ringing "Leven?" he asked
"Yeah" he laughed "Just wondering how you're feeling with the song dropping and stuff"
"Yeah, it sounds good, you put your thing on it and lit it up" he laughed
"I'm glad you liked what I did with it, we should work together again soon"
"Whenever you're ready" he laughed
"Yeah" Leven paused "Still not ready to tell me that girls name yet?"
"I told you too many to name one"
"No" he laughed "You told me there was one specific one"
"To the grave my friend" Sam laughed
"Okay, I'll hit you up soon"
"Okay" Sam laughed closing the call thinking the guy's persistent
"Hello, Sam Evans?" a female voice came over the phone, he thought it was Leven calling back to tease some more
"God damn Goodday" he finally came out with "Yes this is he, how can I help?"
"Song writer Sam Evans?"
"Yes that's right"
"We need to hire you, we need a song fast, sorry not just a song a hit" she laughed
"I write songs" he laughed
"Yes, sorry" she giggled nervously "Sorry I'm Candy, are you available?"
"I am"
"Can you get to New York like yesterday?"
"Tonight might be more realistic" he laughed
"Is that a yes?"
"Yes, you know my rates?"
"That's all taken care of" she told him "Your ticket will be the desk"
"Thanks" he smiled at them paying for his travel, this must be urgent, he threw some clothes in a bag, called his parents and made for New York
This one was a bit different, he was used to writing about his feelings, needs and wants, but this one she wanted from a woman's point of view so try as he might he couldn't focus "Okay" Candy jumped up and clapped her hands "Just imagine your girls in front of you, talking some nasty shit" she laughed "That shouldn't be too hard"
"My girl don't talk nasty, she talks sexy" he laughed
"Let's feel some of that in there" Candy told him
"Okay" he laughed, sitting in the corner to create, the words flying onto the page as Mercy talked to him
This one came out fast, whatever the rush was, it was worth it, a week later he sat listening to 'Endlessly' by Alina Baraz smiling at the Mercy of it all, she might as well of been sitting opposite him singing the words "You read me like a horoscope, you lean into me like you know, the way to really love without me saying so, I stay on it, top it off, I guarantee, you done it, good as it could ever be, you watching, give to you, you give to me, endlessly, you and me, all I need, endlessly, you and me, all I need" wherever she was right now, she'd be more than suspicious hearing those words all together like that
"Suck that up Mercy Jones" he punched the air, not feeling a bit guilty about putting their business out there, and they had business
Flashback
"Sam Evans" she walked into his apartment mysteriously
"Mercy Jones what's with the mystery in your voice?"
"I read my horoscope this morning and guess what?" she giggled "It said today is the day to take a chance on love, or if you're questioning an important relationships' take the plunge" she giggled as he walked towards her
"Definitely take the plunge" he pulled her into him "I respect you, you know that, but if I let you, you'll carry this celibacy thing on for years" he giggled "I think you're waiting for me to lead on this" he leaned in and kissed her lips, she didn't pull away, he was telling her what she was thinking, what she wanted to hear, doing what she wanted done. his hands moved quickly between her legs he felt her tense, she was a virgin she was going to "Relax" he kissed her again their jaws rolling until he felt her relax "This is going to be quick the first time, and it might hurt, but I'll be careful" he looked into her eyes "And any time you want to stop just say"
"Okay"
"Mercy" he held her chin "Promise me you'll say"
"I will" she leaned in and grabbed his lips again
She was fine while it was happening but once her body relaxed she cried for ages, she couldn't stop, she just held onto him and cried. He'd felt like shit for a while, causing all that for her, kept asking her if she was alright, but once she stopped crying she asked for more "Are you sure?"
"Positive" she giggled "Can we go to bed first though?"
"Course" he laughed taking her to bed, the afternoon went fast
"You and me, that's all I'll ever need" she turned to lay her head on his chest "Endlessly, we should put that to song"
"Endlessly?" he looked down at her, watching her head pop up "I guess I could make a song called that"
"We'll have a song title" she leaned up and kissed him before falling asleep
End of Flashback
Ironically, that song was followed by her song, it had been a few weeks since he'd sat long enough to listen to the radio, especially because he knew she'd be all over it. This time it had caught him and for the life of him he couldn't just get up and turn the damn thing off, even though he knew it would send him back into that dreadful depression. his head hit the back of the couch, his hand let go of his phone, the words echoing in his ears "I could have stayed and tried to work through the madness called us, all the cussing and the fighting, forgot about all the times you let me down, all the women and the lying, but you see I was losing myself, every day I stayed I became someone else, who you wanted me to be, was killing me, I had to go..." the song was released just a month after they broke up, it wasn't off the album, he'd not heard it before, he lay wondering who all these girls were she was talking about, and he'd told one lie "Maybe she's not even talking about me" he laughed, quickly saddened because he knew in his heart that, he'd got a fight on his hands
His listening interrupted by his doorbell ringing, he wiped his wet face and went to see who it was "Hi" she smiled
"Rachel" he smiled, the visit was more than unexpected "Come on in" he moved for her to get in "To what do I owe this visit?"
"I was listening to a demo the other day.."
"Why were you listening to demo's?"
"I decided to go into the singing business Sam, don't you talk to your sister?"
"Not about you"
"Anyway, I heard you wrote songs and I thought maybe you could give me my first hit"
"How much are you willing to pay?"
"Well I thought as we were you know, mates" she giggled "You could do me a deal"
"What's the deal?"
"Well" she walked towards him "Quinn told me about your predicament, I'm not seeing anyone so maybe we could..." her hand resting on his chest
"Are you joking" he pulled away from her "Quinn stopped talking to me for well over a month the last time I got involved with you"
"Quinn doesn't have to know" she pulled him to her
"Look" his ear caught the words of Mercy's song "I had to go, I had to leave, do what was best, set myself free, I had to fly, I had to soar, see I'd rather die I can't stay here no more…" "I need paying"
"I could pay some money" she held onto his top
"Rachel" he rolled his eyes "Bring the 25k and we can talk" he laughed moving her towards the door
"I thought you were over Mercy?" she snapped at him
"I'm over you" he opened the door "Bye Rachel" she just looked at him and walked away, he stood leaning on the door listening to the rest of the song 'Set Myself Free' by Montina Cooper spending the evening sleeping
He hadn't got any work for the week, so he spent his spare time, as he did now a days, cooking in the restaurant or crashed out at his parents house, Quinn dropped in every day so he'd get lots of play time with Damon, he was still a kid at heart. Joe had been a stranger for a while, he always seemed to be out of town, and Quinn didn't seem to mind, so it was a shock when he actually turned up for Sunday dinner with his family
"Sam" he came out to sit with him on the patio after dinner "I was hoping to see you"
"Sup?" Sam watched his brother in law sit down
"I've got this friend Lukas, he's looking for a writer, I told him what you do and he's asking for a link, you interested?"
"If he's got the doe I'm interested, hasn't he got an agent?"
"Yeah, but he wants to do something personal" Joe laughed "So I can pass on your number?"
"Sure" he laughed "I'd be a fool to turn away money"
A few days later he got the call from Lukas Graham, he'd never really heard of him, but after he'd made contact Sam did his research and really liked his stuff, he'd written a hell of lot of his music himself, it was good, it was hard to understand why he needed anyone's input, he was doing fine
"So what's the block?" Sam asked sitting in this guys home studio
"Do you really need to ask?" he laughed
"So what's the vibe you're looking for?" he laughed, both of them looking at his phone ringing
"That" he pointed at it "I want to write about ghosting this bitch, in the nicest way" he laughed
"Oh" Sam laughed "You want to ghost her and be nice about it?" he sat thinking "I don't think you can dress that up too much, get a catchy chorus and hang it around that" they had just under a week of fun with getting that together, the project brought back some memories of some real headaches for both of them, it turned out the song wasn't about the original girl but a bunch of girls they both knew, for the first time Sam had heard the finished song before he walked away, wishing Lukas well
He was laughing when 'Love Songs' by Lucas Graham came on, rolling around when that masterclass verse they'd struggled with, finally saying fuck it and putting it in anyway "This is stupid, how could you think that you inspired me, I guess when you got nasty, that's what inspired me to leave, now everybody asks me, why I never let you back again, I never tell them you're a monster, I know things now, I didn't know back then" he laughed yelling "No, I'm not answering, no, I won't let you in" nodding in agreement, the chorus was catchy, he was happy with this one. There had been many time in his short life he'd hidden from a mistake, writing that song had reminded him of a particularly bad one, he must have been around 19 or 20 year old
Flashback
Uni life had not long hit, his head was spinning with all the attention from girls, he didn't date all of them, but first base was a must, he was at UCLA supposedly studying but that was the last thing on his mind, he had someone waiting on every wing to do that study shit for him. Captain of the football team in school, he'd got himself a pretty good rep as soon as he got to UCLA and joined the football team, he wasn't even interested in football that way, but he was good at it and the attention was amazing. Quinn two years older than him, was a cheerleader, she was the other half of the A-Team being with the Captain of the football team, but by second semester she'd marked his player ass cards and let him go. After the summer holidays she'd come back and met Joe in her Art class and they'd been an item ever since, she'd got pregnant straight out of UCLA and got married that summer before Damon was born.
There was this one girl Penny, he should have known she was going to be trouble, she brought him a ball and chain for his neck after their third date. She wasn't that good of a kisser but he'd taken up a dare to take her to the local café within 5 days and in order to do that he'd have to ask her out, easy he thought taking in on, then he found out she had after class activities ever day, her Mother collected her every day and she was really difficult to talk to
"Will you go for a coffee with me?" he'd clumsily asked on day three of his five day challenge
"For real?" she looked up at him, her hazel eyes begging for it to be real
"Why would I ask if it wasn't?" he lied
"Yeah I guess" she grinned grateful
Things were strange from the get go, her locker was totally coordinated, she spent time putting things in place, getting a book from the back of the locker was painful to watch, she had A B and C on her food cartons telling her what order to ear things in, and foods weren't mixed on the plate or in her mouth, she called him out every time a girl looked at him, she was crazy jealous all on the first day.
He had to act fast this girl was crazy, he invited her to the café for a morning coffee, he said it was to talk about them, she jumped at it "Morning" she sat in the chair opposite him
"Morning" he smiled "Coffee?"
"That's what we're here for" she pulled a thermos out her bag, along with cup and tissue and preceded to pour her own coffee, Sam gasped and looked around before carrying on his conversation
"Okay" he half smiled "Can we get a pic?" he held his phone up
"Oh yeah" she moved her chair closer to his and smiled for the pic
"Penny" he smiled "I don't think we're suited, I'm too messy for you"
"But I brought you a present" she ruffled in her back pack bringing out a small blue bag, he watched her open it and take out a ball on a chain ready to hang it around his fucking neck
"No" he pulled back "I think you should...no"
"I thought we were …."
"I've changed my mind" he got up leaving her sat there bewildered, he didn't feel good claiming that win with the guys, he had to go through all the badgering, nasty messages, her asking his friends questions about him, it was hard but he had to physically ghost her
End of Flashback
"Love can just be so fucking consuming sometimes" he didn't know that back then, but he sure as hell knew it now, he went to bed feeling lonely, it was Saturday night and he didn't even have the drive to get dressed and go look for some excitement, he'd made the now usual call to his parents, checked in with Quinn and that was the entirety of his social network nowadays. Back in the day he was the party animal, as recent as 10 months ago, he'd been the host to one of the biggest pool parties he'd ever had, and now here he was looking out at their well groomed garden and feeling nothing but lonely "I wished Mercy was here" he grabbed the bowl of hot popcorn, slammed himself on the couch and grabbed the remote, ready for his night in
It was nearing midnight when the movie finished, he took the bowl back to the kitchen, grabbing his phone on the way back through to his bedroom "Hello" he ran from the bathroom to answer the ringing phone
"Hello could I speak to Sam Evans please?"
"This is Sam Evans"
"Hi Sam, I got your number from Candy"
"You want some lyrics?"
"Yeah" he laughed "I work for the artist Ann Marie"
"Oh yeah" Sam's ears pricked up, he'd admired her work in the past
"We're in LA for a week and wondered if you'd be free for around 4 days to scratch something out for her"
"Just send me the details" Sam smiled at the money coming in "What's your name?"
"Anthony" he laughed "Sorry I'm new"
"Okay Anthony, I'll wait to hear from you"
Less than a week later he got the call it was a fairly easy one, it took him all of three days, she just wanted something personal for a specific situation, it wasn't a place that had been alien to him, he'd got that one in his back pocket. He didn't actually hear it on the radio but Ann Marie did send him a personal copy of 'Mind Games' by Ann Marie a few days after they parted company, he sat listening to his contribution "Heard you out here choosing, then you lie right to my face, do I look stupid, guess you single now, 'cause that's the way you moving, I know all about the shit you out here doing, including all the hoes you been pursuing..." he laughed at him spreading his heart all over the place and no one actually knowing this shit was his story, they wouldn't have guess this one because it was twisted to make out it was a girl singing it to a guy "Sick and tired of you playing these mind games..." but he was wishing she'd stop ghosting him and just talk
A week later and Leven was on his back again, this guy really wasn't giving up, he rolled his eyes as he answered the call "Leven" he laughed "Still no name I'm afraid"
"It's fine, we'll get that close soon" he laughed "It's actually about something else"
"Another song?"
"No" he laughed "I've been invited to that musical moments podcast on Sunday, and I needed a favour"
"What can I do?"
"I wondered if you'd join me, they're going to ask me questions about the song and my influences and shit and well.." he chuckled "We all know it was mostly you and I just thought I could plug you as the great writer, get you some publicity and help myself out at the same time"
"So this isn't about you, it's about me?" he laughed
"Look" Leven laughed "I'll come clean, I've never done anything like this before, I don't want to dry up"
"So who else is coming?"
"Nobody yet" he laughed "You'll be the first to accept if you do"
"You gonna tell me the name of the girl?" Sam laughed
"I invited her, you might meet her"
"I'll be there"
"Make sure you're at the galaxy at 8pm sharp"
"8pm?"
"Yeah, I'll meet you in the foyer"
He closed the call looking forward to outing himself on that record, maybe Leven was right and he'd have none stop work after it. Sunday came quickly, he was dressed and out in record time, it had been months since he's looked forward to anything happening in the evening, it felt like a treat, he grabbed a cab to the venue, jumped out and looked up at the building, he'd passed it so many times, and now he was going to get to see the mystery behind the black double doors "I'm here for the Podcast" he told the doorman "With Leven Kali, my names Sam Evans"
"Mr Evans" the man finally smiled opening the door for him "Mr Kali said for you to meet him in the foyer"
"Thank you" he smiled walking in, it was as up market as he'd expected, his restaurant was just three blocks away
"She told you to leave her the fuck alone, don't call her phone, don't message her, keep off her social media and stop harassing her" a woman was screaming at the top of her familiar voice, he was curious, he followed the voice, looking around the corner he gasped
"Mercy" he gasped watching her head turn quickly
"Sam?" she asked, a confused look on her face before she turned back to talk to Leven "Just leave her alone, final warning" she snapped at him brushing past Sam as she left the building
"She's Mad" Leven huffed
"I guessed that" Sam laughed "Is that the mystery woman?"
"No, one of her backing singers, you know her?"
"Yep" he laughed "I..."
"Leven you ready?" Ricky; the host, came out to fetch them "Who's this?"
"You'll hear all about him"
"You have an hour" Ricky told them, opening the door wider for them to get in "What was going on between you guys?" he asked Leven
"Ending an already finished relationship with her friend, we're cool" Leven smiled
"She didn't look cool" Sam told him , seriously pleased Leven wasn't seeing her
"Okay" Ricky's voice went up a octave "Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks for joining us on your weekly dose of musical moments" he smiled "Today we have singing legend Leven Kali and his friend..."
"Sam, Sam Evans" Leven told him "Thanks for having us" Sam was still thinking about coming face to face with Mercy again, put out that it didn't seem to even bother her enough to ask him a question. He knew conversation was flowing he could hear Leven laughing, he looked at him wondering how he could have just argued with Mercy and his mind be so focused on work right now "Sam?" he heard his name in the distance "Sam?"
"Sorry, What?" he looked at the two men looking back at him
"The inspiration for 'Made 4 U" Ricky asked, looking at the mic
"Oh" he laughed "I can't take credit for the whole song, my inspiration came with the words ""I'm made for you, every single piece of me, part of me, everything, you're all of me, I'm made for you, all through my bones, head to my toes..." he sang "And yes it's from a personal experience" he laughed "That's all I'm wiling to say on the subject, except we had a lot of fun putting it together" he looked at Leven
"So have you worked with other artists?"
"Yeah, I've had privileges" he smiled "I've worked with August Rigo, Leven of course" he looked at him "Ann Marie and Lukas Graham to name a few"
"All very talented and successful artists" Ricky smiled impressed, the conversation switched from Sam to Leven and back easily, the hour was over too soon, suddenly they were saying bye to the listeners and leaving the building
"So how do you know Mercy?" Leven suddenly turned to ask
"She's the girl"
"What the girl?" he stopped walking "Please tell me you're not that dick?"
"I really don't know about a dick, but I did mess her about"
"Sam" Ricky burst through the door shouting "I forgot to ask, will you do a segment on song writing for me next week?"
"Yeah, if I'm not working"
"Just ten or fifteen minutes, I've already got a main guest"
"Same time?"
"About 9pm" he waved letting the door shut as he went back inside
"So, she never did tell me what happened" Leven told him
"Nothing happened" Sam laughed "Come on let's grab a drink"
"I could murder some food, I was so nervous about that interview..."
"I know a place" he grabbed a cab and took them to his restaurant "Whatever you want" they had lots of conversation, it transpired that Leven was dating Alex, one of Mercy's backing singers and he was having a hard time letting go when she'd called it a day, Mercy was the strong arm coming in to warn him before the police got involved, he figure the pending three month Canadian tour in two days would help him get over her
"That Mercy Jones is a hard nut to crack I've heard, how did you manage it?" Leven laughed
"That story's would be worth more than my life if I told it" he laughed as they parted company
Sam had spent a few days at his parents home, helped Damon to play up for his parents and got back home on Friday evening ready to get some rest before his first ever solo podcast interview at musical moments. He'd run off to his parents house the day after his drink with Leven, he needed to be around company, seeing Mercy again like that and talking about her had shaken him up, he'd kept it in because Leven was sharing his feelings about Alex, but that night he went home and cried for what felt like a loss all over again. He'd learned all these techniques from Brittany; another one of Quinn's friends, to use to avoid getting into a funk, he'd tried reading, watching a film, writing a song, doing a word puzzle, none of it helped, whichever one he tried they all ended up with him in a wet puddle, he could only imagine what state he'd left her in back then.
Five days respite and he was back very late Friday night, looking around his apartment for the first time in a while, having that same old conversation with himself about changing furniture and making a fresh start "Just do it" he spun round looking at his tired man pad, his effort to strip out everything from his past failing miserably, the place was of no benefit to him now, he'd got a place to make fresh memories in, with someone he cared about.
"Okay" he nodded to himself the next morning, he grabbed his coat and made for his car, ready to spend the day furniture shopping, he'd stood in the isle of the first two shops just spinning around wondering what a homely apartment looked like, he didn't have a clue, Mercy had done all that stuff in their house, he walked into the third shop with an expectation of walking out without a thing and was surprised to see an old face "Seb" his tone level, the last time he'd had anything to do with this man, it was to tell him his boyfriend was a damn cheat
"Sam" he smiled "How have you been?"
"Alright, you?"
"Good" Sebastian held his hand out for shaking "Your buddy's not doing too well though" he told him as their hands connected
"You still see him?" he asked surprised
"Yeah, we're getting married next month"
"Married?" Sam couldn't hide the surprise in his voice
"Yeah" Sebastian laughed "We both had skeletons in closets we needed to get out, so I guess we need to thank you"
"Okay" he smiled, genuinely happy his ex-best friend hadn't lost the love of his life "I'm happy for you guys, honestly"
"You should come to the wedding, make Blaine's day"
"I should" he laughed handing Sebastian his phone
"So how is white chocolate really?"
"Why do you call me that?" his head shot up from watching what Sebastian was doing with his phone
"That's your pseudo name or so Blaine tells me" he laughed
"I miss him, I guess I have some work to do there?"
"I don't know about that, I guess sorry would cut it"
"What just sorry?"
"Yeah, I mean it was actually the truth" he laughed
"What was the truth?" Blaine came walking towards them "Sam" he gasped
"Blaine" the two men stood awkwardly looking at each other "Dude I'm sorry I did that, I was angry, I'd just realized I loved Mercy and lost her all in the same minute, and I lashed out, at you"
"I'm sorry, I was just angry at you for messing up, and I was about to come clean to Seb anyway" he looked at Sebastian "I just couldn't let you treat Mercy like that, she's a nice girl"
"She is" Sam smiled "Am I forgiven?"
"Just hug it out already" Sebastian interrupted the silence telling them, watching the two men made up
"So what are you guys doing here?" Sam looked around at the upmarket antique, chic yet classy pieces of furniture
"It's our furniture boutique" Blaine told him
"Do furniture shops carry the word Boutique?"
"This one does, that what makes it special and unique"
"I guess you guys have always been that" Sam laughed "I'm looking to change my apartment furniture, I'm thinking of renting it out, I want a upmarket look"
"Have we been waiting for you" Blaine walked off, his actions telling Sam to follow him
He wasn't lying they'd been waiting for him, not only did they have the most perfect pieces for his place, they also had the right colours, less than two hours later and he'd brought a new bed, couch, dresser, coffee table, lamps, dining table, chairs and storage.
He eventually said his goodbye's with a promise to visit them soon, after securing delivery for the following Saturday, along with exchanging contact details. He purchased white goods for his kitchen, new cupboard fronts for his cabinets and a new tap for the sink, not wanting the bathroom to feel neglected he brought new bowl, bath, basin, taps, and shower for that too "You have a three days" he told the decorator as he threw the paints, bushes, scrapers and scissors into the trunk, the plumbers were starting on Monday to finish on Wednesday and then the decorator was in on Wednesday till Saturday
He'd filled the day shopping and the evening at the restaurant, but the night was yet to come and that could mean a whole new game, he sat at home trying to keep his head light, thinking of Damon, events at the restaurant, meeting up with Blaine and Seb again, and the pending overhaul of the apartment but at 1am he was still waiting for sleep, his mind drifted trying to find a better version of Mercy and he in that messed up mind of his
Flashback
Mercy was always hard to read, at the beginning of their dating life she'd come across as confident, well traveled and bubbly when she walked into his restaurant, she'd come in for a meal with two girl friends, they were having this intense, loud conversation about mobile phones. He'd taken the job from the usual waiter because he'd felt there could be trouble "Can I help you Ladies?" Mercy's smile winning him over instantly
"Could we get the share stack" she smiled at him, her eyes holding his for a while
"Sure" he laughed at himself being a boy about this, right then he knew she was different, but it wasn't until after they started dating he found out how different, she was a 22 year old virgin, walking around acting like she was a woman of the world, and that turned him right on. According to her, she'd had boyfriends but none of them had made her feel comfortable enough to go all the way yet, so the day she walked into his apartment and handed it to him on a plate, he knew he'd done something right, he took his prize
That night was intense and there were a few more like that in the beginning, but as time went by she changed into this freaking inferno we lovingly called Love Jones, only God knew what was coming next when she unleashed her. It started off tame a slap here and there, a bite of he lip, pinching the tip of his dick to keep him low every now and again, and when he said nothing the next time it went a step further. Then they'd be in bed and she'd be talking about things she'd always wanted to try, she was turning into a bit of freak, blindfolding him, slapping him harder with every slap, biting until she drew blood, tying him to the bed, dresser, and suddenly he was agreeing to her inserting a dildo into her body while he sat tied up, unable to do anything but watch her get off. He had to admit the more she pushed the more he needed her, there was a need she'd opened up in him, that he felt only she could quench, but sometimes he just wanted to have plain old non-torture sex and maybe that's why he thought about straying that day
He could maybe laugh at it now, but she literally made his scream one night, she tied him to the bed on his belly and shoved that fucking dildo up his ass, he was walking around like a man who'd been on a horse for a year straight, for more than a week, and he seriously wasn't happy with her for it, she knew she'd crossed a line and burst out crying, she was really sorry, of course he was happy to forgive her when she made love to him gently
End of Flashback
"I might have been straying for some straight sex back then, but I'm fucking dying for some freaky fucking sex right now" he got up to make his way to bed, he'd got to get this interview on his head tomorrow. He was going to his apartment to spend some time putting away some of his more valuable items before the contractors came in on Monday for the week, by 20:30 and he was making the fifteen minute journey to the podcast interview
He got there early and sat in the foyer waiting for his time, someone else was being interviewed "Who's on tonight?" he asked the guard
"There are a few Elle Mai came in earlier, and now Mercy Jones has an hours spot"
"Mercy Jones?" he asked shocked, unsure how he could have been siting with just a door between them for so long and not felt her presence
"Yeah, she's plugging her new song" he took the piece out of his ear and plugged it out for him to listen
Sam stood listening to the song for a few seconds before he realized it was the one he'd written for Madge nearly two months ago "Most of the time, you and I we don't see eye to eye, oh but I still got a sweet love for you ah baby, oh and during the day we might fight, you may scream and I might cry, oh but when we lay down in heaven you're gonna make sweet love to me baby, I got you crazy oh, and no matter what you do, I still got love Jones for you, it will never go away oh I'll be here to the end of our day.."
"I got it on repeat, I love her songs" the guy told him
"I..." he went to tell the man he'd wrote it but thought better of it "I do too" it sounded strange that he'd wrote it for a guy and a girl was singing it, some of the words had changed but it was definitely his song "You're right it's good" he stood listening "First you say you love me, then I say I hate the day I met you, we'll be going round and round in circles still we can't get enough, we both know we can't live without each other..." he stood wondering if it was coincidence that he'd actually thought about this last night and she debuted the song today. The two men stood in silence listening to the song "...then you look at me and wink your eye, slap me on the ass, cause I'm gonna fix it anyway, yeah, cause you know I'm with you baby, I'm for you baby oh I love you baby..." 'Circles' by Montina Cooper
"Great isn't it?"
"It is" Sam smiled, both their heads turning as the door opened "Mercy" he gasped at seeing her
"Sam" she half smiled walking towards him
"Miss Jones" the guard's voice bellowed over his thoughts "Could I get an autograph please?" he held a notebook out
"Sure" she looked past Sam and smiled wider at the guard "Who do I write it to?" she took the pen and notebook from him
"Jeremy" he smiled flirting, they both stood watching her sign and hand it back
"Mercy" Sam grabbed her attention
"Sam" Ricky's face popped through the door "We're ready for you"
"We need to talk, will you wait for me, I'll be fifteen minutes"
"Sam" Ricky called impatiently
He couldn't wait for her answer he followed Ricky into the small studio, he couldn't concentrate on the interview, he was hoping she was on the other side of that door waiting. He sat there talking about his inspiration for song writing, the process, how he knew he had a winner, what it was like working with the stars and his next move, quickly running through his professional life, in less than fifteen minutes
"She left?" he asked the guard when he came out to the empty foyer
"Yeah, she was hungry, she said you'd know where she'd be" he smiled "You guys have history then?"
"Lots of it" he smiled, at least she'd remembered where his restaurant was, but the last time they were there, shit hit hard, he grabbed a cab and got there, smiling at seeing her sat waiting "Mercy" he walked towards her "Thanks for waiting"
"I guessed you maybe needed closure or something" she took a sip of her drink, watching him sit down
"I needed to say sorry properly" he huffed "I was a dick, I knew what I was saying, doing, I just didn't want to acknowledge how I felt about you"
"Felt about me?" she huffed "You showed me what you felt about me"
"I did the opposite actually" he looked into her eyes "I wished I'd done things differently that day, some of it not at all, but I did, and I promise you I've learned my lesson"
"What lesson?"
"That someone's heart isn't to be played with, especially if they've given it freely to you, that some sex isn't everything, and some is, that real love is deep and can last forever if you take care of it"
"I'm happy for you Sam" she smiled at him "And I guess I accept your apology"
"I don't want you to accept an apology Mercy, I want a second chance"
"Are you for real?"
"Yeah"
"Sam" she gasped "I gave you everything I had to give a man, you knew me, and I thought I know you, but you cheated on me" she giggled nervously "What makes you think I want you back?"
"I didn't cheat on you with that girl, I don't think anything I just know I have to try" he moved forward in his chair "When I made that promise I meant it, I've changed, I haven't... I don't do the things I used to do, I'm ready to make that commitment you needed from me, I just hope it's not too late"
"I've been trying to move on Sam, and you should too"
"I keep trying" he grabbed her hand "But it's hard, I realized a second after you left, that I truly love you, so much"
"I'm not going to lie, it's hard for me too, but I'm trying to get there"
"Please don't try anymore, come back to me" he grabbed her hand "I heard your new song" he smiled
"I'm proud of it, I brought the lyrics, they were words from my life" she laughed
"Your life?"
"Yeah, with you" she looked up at him
"Our life, I know, I wrote that song"
"You what?" she giggled
"I wrote that song about us, I wrote it for.."
"A man yeah, Madge told me"
"I wrote it for you, so you'd hear it and remember me, remember us"
"I'm sorry, I switched it up a bit" she smiled their eyes holding the gaze "I'm sorry Sam but I don't think I can go back to that life, I love you, I mean loved you, you know I did and you hurt me too..."
"I've changed, seriously, I mean really changed" he squeezed her hand
"How?" she pulled it away from him
"I could sit here and tell you a whole load of bullshit, or the truth you wouldn't know the difference, just give me the chance to show you"
"I can't Sam, I really can't be that person for you right now" she grabbed her jacket
"Mercy" he grabbed her hand "Love Jones, I miss you like crazy, please don't give up on our marriage, I'm sorry I did something that made you doubt us, and I promise, if you let me, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you"
"White Chocolate" she pulled away and got up, walking toward the counter "You know that could be a very dangerously, painful promise you'd be keeping?"
"How did you...?" he laughed, if Blaine knew it she most definitely did "You read my messages?"
"When you're screaming, and you will be, just remember that 'Sometimes in life you got to take the good with the bad' you know what I mean?"
"I know what you mean, and I'm ready for that"
"You better be" she laughed
"You're giving me another chance?" he got up walking towards her
"Mom told me you've been lonely, I get that because I have too, Quinn told me about Rachel's offer and your decline" she laughed "And she told me the story about that Santana girl" she looked up at him standing in front of her now "A week and I'll be home" she flicked his lip "Oh and I agree with getting the decorators in"
"You've been checking up on me" he smiled at the thought
"I came back that day to tell you I was using some of your lyrics in the last song on the album" she stroked his face "I missed feeling this" she looked into his eyes "I'll admit I sent August, but after that you were on your own"
"Thank you" he quickly kissed her lips
"This isn't a forget, it's a forgive, you won't get another one" she looked up at him
"I'll never need another one"
"Can I have your next song?"
"Every single one" he laughed kissing her again
"My husband the brilliant song writer" she pulled him to her and kissed him again
"My wife the singer"
"See you in a week" she pulled away and left him watching her walk out
The End