As the winds of May whipped through the cobbled streets of Portsmouth, the window of one particular parlour was emanating a rosy hue. Inside the warmth of the fire, family and friendship made it easy to forget the harsh bitterness of the weather outside. Looking through the window would show a table crowded with well-wishers enjoying a simple but hearty meal and a rich, dark claret.
The ting, ting, ting of a call to toast interrupted the gentle chatter that the table had fallen into throughout the course of dinner. As John Harville stood, the eyes of his friends and family turned to him. It was a small group consisting of his wife, the gentle swell of her stomach hidden well beneath her dress, his sister whose happy glow could not but affect those around her, his Captain and friend Frederick, his soon to be brother-by-law James Benwick, Mr Fairchild and Dr _ and his wife.
"I am certain you must know the occasion for inviting you here tonight. I am the most blessed of men to consider you all my friends and welcome the time we spend together with alacrity. However blessed I am by your friendship I am more than doubly so by those whom I call family. My dear Margaret has made this house a home and God has seen fit to make our union prosperous. Upon the loss of our parents (God rest their souls) she welcomed my sister into our home and we have been the richer for it. Fanny is unfailingly kind and has the sharpest mind, I am so proud to call her sister. She is one of a kind. And I'm pleased to announce that Lieutenant Benwick has had the good sense to ask Fanny to be his wife and has been accepted. So please raise your glasses to James and Fanny." Here John paused whilst the table echoed his sentiment, "James, I congratulate you on your excellent choice and Fanny I pray that all your expectations of felicity be exceeded!"
James looked to Fanny and grasped her hand; he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his grin under control and was sure his face would split in short order. But he was in splendid company he thought to himself as Fanny squeezed his hand in return, eyes crinkling with the unbridled joy of her smile. James was relieved to have matters so sanguine between them by this evening. The last month had brought them tests in fortitude and patience with each other and with circumstance. Indeed in this very parlour they had navigated the rocky waters of compromise.
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John and Margaret quietly exited to the kitchen with the remnants of their shared meal, as James prepared himself for a difficult conversation.
"What on Earth do you mean, live with your family?" Fanny enquired, a look of incredulity on her face. "Of course I want to live in the country one day and your family are all kindness and generousity to suggest such an arrangement but You are to be my husband, James, I want to be aboard the Laconia with you."
"I think not," James returned in measured tones. "Aboard a ship with 200 Sailors? Living as a Spartan with no access to culture or female companionship of any kind. Living with a high risk of disease and even mortal danger? I cannot allow it, Fanny."
"You cannot allow it?" Fanny echoed, with derision. "And what, have I suddenly lost sense of my own well-being? By accepting your hand have I abandoned the faculties required of a sensible English woman to navigate life? It is a ship in his Majesty's Royal Navy James, not some lost tribe of savages.
"You are right, it is a ship. A vessel of war. Where you will be required to stay below deck in a cabin no more than five squares in size. Where you will be invited on deck for a short interval during sunlight hours to enjoy the company of sailors, not gentlemen. Men who, forgive me, have nought but one use for the fairer sex." Fanny opened her mouth as if to protest but James pushed on, "the Laconia is bound for the Gibraltar for the sole purpose of seeking conflict with Bonaparte's vessels. You could be killed; you could be captured- "
"I could be of assistance!" Fanny cried. "James of what use am I here? I will sit and pine for you, assaulted by my own imagination regarding the dangers you face and with nothing so worthwhile to occupy my time. You have seen my work. I can assist the surgeon, offer care and compassion to the injured as none but a woman can. And then I will also know my husband is whole, I would face any danger to be assured that you are safe and successful."
James gazed upon Fanny with an agonised expression, "and I would conquer any danger, knowing that you were home and free from harm". He loved her passionate nature and her fierce desire to care for her fellow man, to do her part. But she did not understand what life on a ship was truly like. How could he even contemplate placing her in harm's way, to consider exposing her to the harsh realities of war? It could not be done. He was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to touch, to feel her heart against his own. Gathering her into his arms, he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You are a remarkable woman. I love you Fanny Harville."
"And I you. We will not resolve this tonight me thinks," Fanny sighed as they heard the clinking of the coffee tray being brought in by her brother and sister. Placing a kiss to James' jaw, Fanny moved back to her place on the settee. "I will think on what you have said, if you will consider my own ideas."
"Of course, my love. It is better to sleep on the biggest decisions, as my father has said, we can continue this conversation tomorrow."
"A wise man, your father. I am feeling a little warm and have a headache, perhaps I am coming down with a cold. I think I will retire now for the evening." James watched on with concern as Fanny bid her brother and sister a goodnight, held her hand to his cheek and made her way up the stairs for sleep.
James did not recall sleeping very well that night himself as he agonised over the right course of action. He had had his letter from his father and knew what kind of man he wanted to be. He knew that the easiest way to keep his bride safe would be to leave her behind. What his father and this particular way of thinking didn't allow for however, was having a wife who was perfectly capable of weighing risk and reward as sensibly as any man. How could he value Fanny for her true nature and then deny her the freedom to be herself? Fanny was a skilled nurse and wanted to be in a place that required use of those skills. Fanny was about to become a new bride and wanted to share her life with her husband... but James was about to become a new husband and was terrified of losing the most precious part of his life.
The following day James collected Fanny for a walk through the park not knowing where their conversation would lead, however he could not have imagined how her point of view had changed.
"I spoke with Margaret at length this morning. She gave me an insight into the life of a naval officer's wife that I had not previously considered."
"I wasn't aware that she knew our troubles, although I suppose that coffee tray was rattling in the kitchen for long enough, no doubt she caught John listening at the door again. What did she say?"
"Oh you know how blunt she can be. She said that if my husband were a baker or butcher or candlestick maker that I wouldn't be demanding to go to work with them. So why would I demand to go with you to yours? Especially when the decisions that you make can mean the difference between life and death for so many. There was more too but by this stage I was thoroughly ashamed of myself. I'm sorry Jamie. Margaret reminded me that marrying means putting the needs of the one you love before your own. I was not doing this last night and I can only blame this head cold keeping me out of sorts. But I am ready to do so now. I will stay."
"I do not know what to say. I came to you this morning prepared to be guided by your judgement." Stopping their amble, James lifted Fanny's chin and looked down into her eyes, "Are you sure this is the right choice for you? I know you well enough by now to say that you're incapable of idling your days away. What will you do?"
"Well, as to that," Fanny replied as they began their walk again. "I imagine I will go on much as I have. I'm not sure what Dr _ plans for the hospice but soon enough my skills might be required at home regardless. Margaret has asked if I would stay on with her, to help when her time comes. I would ask one thing though," Fanny urged suddenly bright and glassy eyed- grabbing the front of James' coat and halting their progress again.
James pulled her off the path into the shade and privacy of a nearby Willow, "what is it my love?"
Staring determinedly at James' chest, Fanny's voice wobbled only slightly as she begged, "Let us be married before you go!"
"Fanny"
"No Jamie, listen. You are mine and I am yours. Whether we are married or not, if you die at sea my heart will still be broke. I can abide staying here and waiting for your return if it is my husband that I will be expecting. I do not need a large affair, even Mr Fairchild can marry us if he wishes. But please, do not leave me a maiden pining for your return. I- "James cut off the rest of what she had to say by crushing his lips to hers. She seemed to pause and then wrapped her arms around his body pulling him close as his hands delved into her curls. James thought Nothing had ever felt as delicious as this, when Fanny let out a breathy moan and lifted her hands to link around James' neck. With renewed fervour he began to kiss along her jaw and nuzzled into her neck. Fanny started giggling at the feeling of James' curls under her nose. "James, you are making me sneeze! We're in the park. People will see."
"Let them," he growled as he made his way to her lobe, "maybe if we get caught, we can marry sooner."
Fanny laughed out loud at this, "so I take it you are in agreement then."
Sheepishly lifting his face and running his hand through his hair James agreed, "I am. We have two choices from what I can see. We can be married at my home in Dorsetshire, the banns can be read from there and we'll be married in 3 weeks."
"What is our other option?"
"I could apply for a license. We can be married from here as soon as we please. I would have to try for an audience with the bishop. I can inquire how to do so this afternoon." Fanny answered James with a kiss and they continued on their way.
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Staring at Fanny's smile, James knew that he had made the right decision. He had an appointment booked with the bishop for the following morn. From there he would procure a license and take it to Mr Fairchild. While technically not in charge of a parish, Mr Fairchild had made friendly with the vicar and the two would perform the marriage rites for James and Fanny together.
He had written his family to inform them of the arrangements and planned for a visit after his return from the Gibraltar. They would be married by the se'nnight following and all going well, there would be time enough for Fanny and himself to enjoy two nights at Brighton before returning in time for his embarkation.