Hey! So I've been a bit busy and lost track of time, sorry for the late update. This is a pretty long chapter, so I hope you'll enjoy!
Chapter Six - If I Had You
If I had you
That would be the only thing I'd ever need
If I had you
The money, fame and fortune never could compete
Chloe never actually went through this. When she realized her feelings for the brunette, Beca was long gone, so she only sufferent away from her, but now being close to her, it felt like her feelings were resurfacing and she felt like a giddy teenager, being close to her gave her butterflies and she was starting to feel inappropriate because she knew she was ignoring the girl's fiancée.
Chloe pulled Aubrey aside before they left to eat with the two again this time in their own home. The van was there already but the redhead had to say this to her friend before they left, she was starting to ache again.
"Aubrey, please, I can't do this anymore," Chloe said. "I finally understand why Beca left, this is almost unbearable,"
"Chloe, please don't tell me you still have feelings for her," Aubrey said.
"I think I do and it sucks so bad, Bree, having to see them together just kills me," Chloe said. "I don't think I can do it."
"Chloe, we have three more days before we leave," Aubrey said. "You wanna avoid them the whole trip? You said you were okay with coming,"
"I did and I was but.. Seeing her brought it all up again," Chloe said. "And seeing them be all lovey dovey just kills me."
"Do you wanna talk to her and explain this to her? And go home?" Aubrey asked.
"I don't know," Chloe sighed and there was a honk.
"Come on, this isn't the Academy Awards, what's taking you so long?" Amy said from the van.
"Come on, it'll be okay," Aubrey said, lacing her arm with Chloe and taking her to the van.
Chloe was left wondering and trying to keep her feelings in check. She understood the things Beca said to her and couldn't help but mentally kick herself. She'd obviously lost her chance and that made her want to crawl up in a ball and cry. But she'd been away from the brunette for too long and she couldn't be away from her again. Not when she just found her again.
Why did all this feelings and heart crap have to be so hard? Why couldn't it be simple?
As the Bellas piled into Beca and Ruby's home, they were given a tour before sitting in the backyard. Ruby had masculine shorts, sandals and a bikini top on and Beca had a bikini with a masculine shirt, black loose shorts, her hair was back in a ponytail and there was a black hairband on her head, along with sunglasses. They looked like a perfect match, especially the tattoos. Sure, Ruby had a lot more but they still matched.
"Anyone want something to drink? We have beer, champagne," Beca said.
"Get them everything, Bee," Ruby said.
"Alright," Beca got up.
"I'll help," Chloe got up and followed her.
Beca thought it was strange but didn't say anything else, going to the fridge that was outside and grabbing beers for the girls.
"Beca, I need to tell you something," Chloe said. "At first I didn't think that I should but then I remembered this whole thing started with miscommunication so I decided to just say it, we've been apart long enough."
"Fair enough," Beca said, placing the beer bottles on the outside counter.
"I still have feelings for you," Chloe said. "And I understand now why you left, it's really hard seeing you with Ruby but I know she makes you happy and to be honest you're a cute couple."
"Thanks," Beca said quietly. "Damn."
"I'm sorry, I considered not coming but I miss you," Chloe said.
"Why couldn't you have figured this out two years ago?" Beca said. "And.. I don't know what to say, I obviously want you to stay but if you think you'd be better off at home, I'll understand."
"No, it's okay," Chloe said. "I'll stay this weekend, but.. I think it'll take some time before we see each other again."
"Yeah, I understand," Beca said before sighing. "I'm sorry Chlo, I know how much it hurts to like someone who doesn't like you back."
"You don't have to be sorry," Chloe said. "It'll be okay."
Beca didn't look relieved, she had a sympathetic look and Chloe just wanted to throw her off of a cliff. How could she be so understanding? That only made Chloe feel worse.
"Come on, let's get back, grab some beers, unless you want some champagne," Beca said.
"It's okay, I shouldn't mix," Chloe said.
"Alright then," Beca said, following Chloe back to the girls. "Guys, I can make sangria if you guys want."
"Oh that'd be great," Aubrey said.
"I can't drink too much, I'm still breastfeeding," Stacie reminded.
"Who wants sangria?" Beca asked.
"I'll help you, Bee," Ruby got up. Beca turned around to go to the kitchen and Ruby placed her hands on her waist, leading her forward before they were inside.
"Okay, cutest couple in Hollywood," Stacie said. "I love Beca dressing more masculine."
"I envy them so much," Ashley said. "I want someone to coordinate outfits with."
"And Beca looks so light and happy," Emily said.
"Like she's about to fly off," Flo said.
"She said Ruby treats her like a queen," Chloe said. "And as much as it kills me to say it, I'm happy she found someone like that."
"That's very mature of you, Chlo," Aubrey said.
Chloe nodded with a smile.
"You'll be okay the rest of the weekend?" Aubrey asked.
"Yeah, I will, all we needed was communication," Chloe said.
"Good,"
Of course, the backyard had a pool and they'd been told beforehand that they could get in if they wanted, so a few did get in, Ruby went with them, but Beca stayed back to watch their lunch, which was a simple risotto and a few steaks.
"Baby," Beca called and squatted down by the edge of the pool and the brunette in question swam to the edge, crossing her arms over it, swinging her hair to the side. "I need help setting the table,"
"I can help you, Beca," Stacie volunteered.
"Nevermind, baby," Beca said before getting back up and following Stacie inside the house.
With Beca's instructions, the two set the outside table so everyone could eat. Beca then grabbed the bowl of risotto and placed it on the right side of the table while Stacie placed another one on the left side of the table.
"Guys, food's ready!" Beca said, going inside to get the steaks.
The girls started getting out of the pool and drying off, Ruby was wrapped in a dark blue towel, approaching Beca right as she placed the steaks in the center of the table.
"Are you going to sit at the table all wet?" Beca asked Ruby.
"Like you ever minded," Ruby hugged her from behind, Beca let out a squeak as she felt her fiancée's wet and cold body against hers while Ruby kissed her neck.
"Baby!" Beca said, feeling the girls watching them. "The girls are here, please behave."
"Come on, they know you," Ruby kissed her cheek one last time before sitting down.
"But they don't know you with me," Beca said.
"Babe, anyone who doesn't see that I'm clearly crazy about you is an idiot," Ruby said.
"It's okay, we're a tight knit group, we've heard all types of jokes and puns," Cynthia Rose said.
"See, Bee?" Ruby said, sipping her glass of sangria.
Beca chuckled and shook her head, sitting down next to her fiancée.
"Seriously guys, we were just talking about this but you two are so cute together," Stacie said.
"Yeah, it's like the perfect match," Emily said.
"I never thought I'd say this but Beca I'm loving this 'butch lesbian' vibe you're giving off," Cynthia Rose said.
"It agrees with you," Aubrey said.
"Butch lesbian?" Beca laughed, covering her mouth since she was chewing.
"Yeah, your masculine style," Cynthia Rose said.
"I just like to wear baggy clothes," Beca said. "Sometimes."
Ruby kissed her cheek again and they all started serving themselves before eating.
"Guys, by the way, tomorrow all the girls from Evermoist will be here, we'll have a barbecue and watch the fireworks, you're all attending," Beca said.
"I'll be barbecuing," Ruby said.
"Alright! Anything we can bring?" Aubrey asked.
"Yourselves," Ruby said.
"And drinks," Beca said with a sheepish smile.
The girls laughed but continued eating.
Chloe felt better despite the slight pain in her heart, being surrounded by her sisters felt so good and Beca and Ruby gave off such a great vibe, there was no jealousy despite Chloe knowing Ruby probably knew Chloe was the one who Beca used to like.
oO0Oo
Chloe was walking slowly, thinking back to when they were with Ruby and Beca, seeing them together, seeing how they couldn't go 5 minutes without touching each other, how they were an obvious perfect match, how hard Chloe wished that could've been her instead of Ruby.
"Hey Chlo," Aubrey called, catching up to her. Not that she put much effort into it with the pace Chloe was going. "How are you feeling?"
"Like shit," Chloe said. "Like the last one at the finish line. A gorgeous, hot, sexy finish line."
"Let's get inside before you talk more about the 'finish line'," Aubrey took Chloe's keycard and unlocked and opened the door, getting inside. Chloe put her stuff down before throwing herself on her back, on the bed.
"It sucks so much, Bree, I'm not crying or anything but it hurts," Chloe said.
"Of course it does," Aubrey said, sitting down next to her.
"And the worst part is if she hadn't disappeared, we would still be living together, probably. Me being oblivious to my crush," Chloe said. "If you hadn't pointed it out, I would've never known,"
"Chloe, please don't tell me you're still mad at me," Aubrey said.
"I'm not but why didn't you say anything sooner?" Chloe asked, sitting up.
"I don't know, I thought you knew," Aubrey said. "Like I said, the way she looked at you was obvious, I always thought you knew but didn't reciprocate."
Chloe sighed.
"Look, we can't do this, we can't blame ourselves forever, okay? It happened, it fucking sucks but now you should find a way to move on," Aubrey said. "I know it's not as easy as it sounds."
Chloe sighed again and looked down before running her hand through her hair.
"I should shower," she said.
"Alright," Aubrey said. "I'll go back to my room to shower, but I can come back if you want."
"No, it's okay, I should get some work done and then go to bed, it's going to be a full day tomorrow," Chloe said.
"Okay," Aubrey got up. "Love you, text me if you need anything."
"Love you, I will," Chloe replied, getting up and getting her things.
oO0Oo
The flashing of the lights
It might feel so good
But I've got you stuck on my mind, yeah
The flashing on the stage
It might get me high
But it don't mean nothing tonight
Chloe probably shouldn't, but she ordered a few drinks from room service, only enough to get herself drunk and to stop thinking. She did not want to dream about Beca tonight, though she knew that was pretty much inevitable given the situation.
After a while, with the room spinning, Chloe turned on the TV and left it on, wanting to have some background noise so her thoughts wouldn't be filled with the small woman's voice. It only worked for a little bit until she fell asleep, then the woman in question invaded her dreams until 2 am when the colors and noise from the TV were too much and Chloe woke up to turn it off.
The next day, Chloe had a small hangover but nothing that the hotel breakfast and some painkillers couldn't help. It was barely 10 by the time they made it to Beca. The girls were all in red, white and red. Chloe had a bikini that was the USA flag and she was wearing along with some shorts. She made zero effort on her hair but put on makeup, trying to appear happy and not at all like this day was crushing her.
Beca and Ruby were, again, matching. Beca was wearing a red bikini top and dark blue bottoms that had white stars on it, an oversized Old Navy button up shirt that was open and red flip flops. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail with a dark blue scrunchie with a bow on it. Ruby had the dark blue bikini top with white stars and red bottoms, she had masculine red shorts on, dark blue flip flops and a red bandana.
When the Bellas got there, the girls from Evermoist were already there along with a guy, one of their boyfriends. When everybody said their hello's, everything was now free of tension, since they no longer were competing against each other. The backyard was spacious enough that everyone had a place to sit, not that everybody did, most people were in the pool.
Chloe was sitting in the shadow next to Aubrey wearing sunglasses. The effects of her hangover were long gone but she wanted to keep her distance.
"Come on, Chlo, maybe if you spend time with the Bellas, you'll distract yourself," Aubrey said. "It's much better than sitting here staring at Beca."
"Maybe you have a point," Chloe sighed, getting up and going towards the Bellas, most of whom were in the pool throwing a ball around.
Before Chloe could get in, though, she looked in the direction of Beca, who was talking to Serena, Claire and Vallery, all standing near Ruby by the grill. Beca seemed to be having a great time, she looked shocked as someone said something but she laughed, stepping away but Ruby grabbed her by the waist and attacked her neck with kisses, making her laugh loudly. She was bending back to escape from her kisses, laughing.
"Baby, baby, my back isn't that flexible," she said. Ruby stepped back and she stood up straight, catching her breath.
Chloe was so absorbed by the scene she missed the ball Jessica threw at her and it hit her square in the face. She lost her balance, twisted her ankle and fell straight in the pool. When she emerged, she heard some people laughing but most were concerned.
"Chlo, I'm sorry, I thought you heard me!" Jessica said.
"Are you okay?" Emily asked.
"My ankle hurts," Chloe said, taking her sunglasses off.
"Hey Chlo, want some ice?" Beca asked from outside the pool.
"Yeah, thanks," Chloe swam to the edge of the pool and got out. Aubrey helped her walk to a lounge chair and she laid back, wincing in pain.
A little while later, Beca came back with a gel pack and a thin towel, handing it to Chloe.
"Thanks," Chloe said, placing the ice on her ankle.
"Does it hurt too much?" Beca asked. "Do you need to go to the hospital?"
"What? No, I think the ice and some painkillers will do the trick," Chloe said. "Thanks."
"By the way, Beca, I've been meaning to ask you, what is it with this look?" Fat Amy asked.
"Yeah, you look like you had some crazy wild sex, got up and put on the first shirt you could find," Vallery said.
"Yeah!" Fat Amy said.
Beca blushed before looking at herself. Yeah, the shirt was a bit short, but it was long enough for someone who looked at her from the back to assume she didn't have anything underneath.
"This is the only blue shirt I had," Beca said.
"Besides, what's wrong with the look anyway? It's not like it's any different from the truth," Ruby said.
"Baby!" Beca said, making the brunette laugh, putting her tongue between her teeth.
"And that shirt will be off soon, anyway," Ruby said.
"I am going to kill you!" Beca said.
"Won't you be going in the pool?" Ruby asked.
"Yeah," Beca said. "But stop with the innuendos!"
Ruby gave her a childish grin and went back to the grill.
"We'll be using disposable plates, by the way guys," Beca said. "On the table over there by the grill you'll find anything you need and you already found the drinks."
Beca told everyone in the pool, all of which nodded. She then went back to talking to the girls and Ruby, every once in a while hugging the taller brunette from behind, getting on her tiptoes and resting her chin on her shoulder.
"Hey Chlo, how's your ankle?" Stacie asked, wrapped herself in a towel.
"It hurts," Chloe said. "I don't wanna spoil everyone's fun, so please you don't all have to pamper me or whatever, I'll be fine."
Stacie offered her a sympathetic look before going to get another drink.
Chloe sat with the gel pack against her ankle for a while before she took a painkiller and decided to rejoin the girls in the pool, knowing she wouldn't need to put too much pressure on it so she'd be okay. Besides, she didn't want all the attention.
When the food was ready, everyone grabbed their plates, they were all biodegradable, and they took their seats to eat. The girls from Everymoist and Kyle, Serena's boyfriend, sat with the Bellas, talking and laughing, having fun. After eating, they turned up the volume and it felt more like a party. People jumping in the pool, people dancing and singing, it was a lot of fun.
Chloe was glad the alcohol was making her a little more loose, she was able to enjoy with the girls and forget a little about her ankle, as long as she was in the pool. As soon as she was out, though, the pain came back and she decided she'd spend the rest of the day in the pool.
By the time it started getting dark, though, there were less and less people in the pool. Not because it was cold or anything but because they wanted to be able to enjoy dancing and drinking and being underwater doesn't really help.
"Hey Stace, can you hand me a Two Chicks please?" Chloe asked, crossing her arms over the edge of the pool while she addressed Stacie, who was heading towards the outside refrigerator.
"Sure, which two would you like? Want a room too?" she said, eyeing her weirdly.
Chloe laughed, resting her forehead on her arms before looking back trying to ignore the others laughing.
"The cocktail," she clarified.
"I know, I was just teasing you," Stacie said, grabbing a beer and the canned cocktail for Chloe, getting closer to her and giving it to her.
"Thanks," Chloe said before opening the can.
"Aren't you going to get out of the pool, Chlo? The fireworks are supposed to start soon," Beca said.
"I'm good," Chloe said. "Being on dry land forces me to put pressure on my ankle."
"Come on, we have so many people here to help you, you won't have to lift a finger," Beca said.
Chloe sighed.
"Yeah, you're probably right," she got off the pool and sat on the edge. Aubrey and Beca got behind her and grabbed her arms, helping her to her feet. Each put one of her arms around their shoulders.
"Do you want help changing?" Beca offered.
"Maybe I should help her," Aubrey said.
"Maybe she can dress herself," Chloe said, making the two laugh. "Just help me get inside and into a bathroom and I'm good."
The two nodded and helped her to the nearest bathroom. Aubrey gave her her bag and towel and said she'd take her cocktail while she changed.
After Chloe changed, she opened the bathroom door and was surprised to see Beca waiting there. She had changed into a red, white and blue cropped top and jean shorts and was back to wearing her red flip flops, her hair was wet and pulled back in its ponytail.
"Beca, what are you still doing here?" Chloe asked.
"Well, I'm going to help you get back to your seat," Beca said, wrapping an arm around her waist and putting her arm back around her shoulders. "Come on."
They took one step and Chloe almost slipped from her dripping wet hair, so Beca stopped and held her tighter, almost putting Chloe's whole weight against herself before continuing.
"Your hair's dripping, be careful so you don't slip," Beca said.
"Whoa, you've gotten, like, super strong," Chloe said, noticing how easy it was for the brunette, who was practically carrying her.
"Yeah," Beca chuckled. "I've gotta be able to keep up with my fiancée."
Beca helped her sit back down on the lounge chair and Chloe let out a heavy breath.
"Where's my Two Chicks?" she asked, making Beca laugh.
"I'll ask Aubrey, she had it," she said before disappearing to find the brunette.
Aubrey was back and gave Chloe her drink, claiming she was gone because she had to find another bathroom. The others all sat closer to Chloe so she wouldn't feel left out, which the redhead had to admit she was happy about. She continued drinking and having fun, but after a while she stopped so it wouldn't be hard to get back to the hotel. She already hurt her ankle, adding being drunk the mix and she knew she'd have a huge issue.
By the time the fireworks started, Chloe was already working on trying to get at least a little sober so she could get back. It wasn't working as well as she hoped, though.
When it was time for everyone to leave, Chloe had Aubrey and Cynthia Rose's help but before she could get in the van though, Beca stopped them.
"Why don't you crash here? We have a guest bedroom, you wouldn't be alone in your room, Ruby and I could help you," Beca said.
"Yeah, you won't be able to get anything done with your bad ankle," Ruby agreed. "You're all eating here again tomorrow."
"I don't think that's a good idea," Chloe said.
"Come on, we can help you," Beca said. "If you give your keycard to Aubrey, she can get you some clothes for tomorrow."
"Yeah, Chlo," Aubrey said. "And when we get to New York we are checking that ankle."
Chloe wanted to deny their help but they had a point. So she stopped arguing and accepted. Ruby was quick to help her while Aubrey and Cynthia Rose got in the van with a wave.
"Come on, you can borrow some of my clothes," Beca said.
As they turned around, Ruby picked Chloe up bridal style and took her upstairs to their guest bedroom.
"Wow and I thought Beca was strong," she said, sitting back against the headboard.
"I told you I needed to keep up," Beca said, smiling lovingly at Ruby.
Chloe smiled faintly at the scene.
"Well thanks guys," she said. "I think this is going to hurt quite a bit tomorrow."
"Sorry but that was pretty funny," Beca said, laughing while she wiped her nose with the back of her hand.
"Yeah," Chloe chuckled. "Wish I had been drunker, would've hurt less."
"You're right about that," Ruby said. "Do you want something to drink or eat? Or any pills?"
"I'm fine," Chloe said. "I'm a little tired."
"I'll get you some clothes you can borrow," Beca said before leaving the room.
Ruby scratched the back of her head and Chloe tried to ignore how awkward she felt around the tall brunette.
"Listen Chloe, I know what went on between you and Beca. Or what didn't go on," Ruby said before sitting down on the bed. "And I'm sorry about everything, I know what it's like to like someone who doesn't like you back. I hope you know I don't hate you or anything."
"Oh, thanks," Chloe chuckled awkwardly. "I don't hate you either, you make Beca happy and you two are great together, which makes it impossible for me to hate you."
Ruby smiled.
"And I know this might sound weird but if you need anything you can count on me," Ruby said.
"Thanks, that means a lot," Chloe said. "It just hurts a bit, to be honest, seeing you two together, but I'll be okay."
"I know," Ruby said.
"Here it is," Beca said, coming back with some pjs and a change of clothes. "Anything else?"
"No, I'm good, thanks," Chloe said. "Oh, can I get a glass of water, please?"
"Yeah, I'll -"
"- I'll go get it, Bee," Ruby said, standing up and leaving.
Beca sighed and looked at Chloe before looking at her ankle.
"Your ankle looks really swollen," Beca said. "Please get that checked out when you get back to New York."
"I will, Aubrey won't have it any other way anyway," Chloe said. "She'll probably have me go to a hospital before we go back to New York."
"So you guys are living together?" Beca asked, confused.
"Yeah, after you disappeared Aubrey moved in with me and Amy," Chloe said. "Now it's just the two of us."
"Oh, that's good," Beca said.
"Yeah, she was great for me," Chloe said.
"I'm glad to hear that," Beca said. "I was meaning to ask, you lost quite a bit of weight was it..?"
"Depression, anxiety, stress," Chloe nodded. "I actually gained a lot of it back, though."
"How much?"
"I gained like 15 pounds," Chloe said, making Beca gasp. "Yeah, I was in a hospital for a while until I stopped losing so much weight."
"Holy shit and that was all because of me?" Beca asked. "I mean, me disappearing?"
"And all that entailed, yeah," Chloe said.
"Shit, Chlo, I'm so sorry, if I had known-"
"-No, don't apologize, please," Chloe said. "Aubrey said it this morning and she's right, we all have to stop blaming ourselves, it's no use, it's done. Besides, I'm feeling better."
Beca sighed.
"I really didn't mean for any of this to happen," Beca said. "The only reason I didn't get in touch first is because I thought you were happy with Chicago."
"It's fine," Chloe said.
Ruby came back with a pretty big glass of water and handed it to Chloe with a coaster so she could put it on her bedside table. She took a few big gulps before putting the glass down.
"Guys, you don't have to stay with me," Chloe said.
"Okay, there's a bathroom in the hallway, if you need any help in the middle of the night, don't hesitate to call one of us," Beca said.
"Yeah, goodnight Chloe," Ruby said.
"Goodnight," Beca said.
"Night, thanks a lot guys," Chloe said, turning the lamp on the bedside table as they turned off the lights and closed the door.
Chloe drank more of her water before laying down, turning the light off and sighing, going off to sleep.