Author's Note: Sorry for the wait guys. My health has plummeted recently, so it has been a struggle to feel up to writing. Extra-long chapter to celebrate the new Shinden novel we are getting tomorrow. Cheers.

P.S.: Let me know what you think. I read and appreciate all the reviews. You guys are my fav.

Pairing: SasuSaku

Chapter 15: Happiness

"This is wonderful, Sakura," Tsunade exclaimed as she evaluated the effects of Sakura's newly developed burn medicine. The former Hokage was flipping through the files of Sakura's burn victims, assessing Sakura's detailed descriptions of their injuries as well as their reactions to both the medicine and Sakura's charka treatments.

"Thank you, My Lady," Sakura smiled bashfully at her sensei's praise. "I am hoping to develop more medicine in the future, in order to help more patients without the use of chakra for every injury."

Tsunade looked up at her after hearing her statement. She pinched her chin and looked up, pondering. "That's brilliant. If we could develop medicine that reacted quickly to smaller injuries, we could potentially reserve chakra and treat more patients."

Yes, that's exactly what Sakura was thinking. During her sensei's absence, Sakura had struggled to make up for the combined chakra supply that Lady Tsunade and the other traveling medic ninja provided at the hospital. Without their help, Sakura had drained herself completely every day, stretching herself so thin, that Sakura had had a hard time replenishing her own chakra before the beginning of each day. With medicine like this, perhaps they could reserve their chakra over longer periods of time and potentially double their patient intake, like Tsunade said.

Sakura carefully picked up the jar of medicine she had saved from the batch she created. Removing the lid, she dipped a finger into the green herbal solution. She extended it out towards her sensei.

"Something I also discovered was that this particular medicine responded to my chakra."

Tsunade shot up an inquisitve eyebrow, placing back down the files. "What do you mean?"

"Well," Sakura began, sending chakra to her finger. It began glowing green under the medicine. "After some testing, I found that if I applied chakra to the medicine, it hardened."

She demonstrated this for her sensei who widened her eyes as the gunk on her finger solidified into a small shell, completely encasing her finger. Sakura picked at it to reveal that no amount of scratching or tampering could remove it.

"What if we could develop medicine that was enhanced with the application of chakra?" Sakura thought out loud, sending chakra back to her finger to liquify the substance back into its original state.

"That's ingenious!" Tsunade exclaimed. "Can you imagine the possibilities?!"

They were both grinning like mad. It had been too long since Sakura had obsessed over medical things with her teacher. When they put their minds together like this, Sakura often felt like there was nothing they couldn't do.

Getting a little ahead of herself, Sakura blurted, "For the next couple of weeks, I'm hoping to-"

"Sakura," Tsunade interrupted, walking over to her and placing a hand on her student's shoulder. It was the third time she had done this since Sakura had come to see her after eating ramen with Team 7. After Tsunade healed Sakura's forehead, Sakura had begun to fill her in on every detail that had happened at the hospital since her departure. Her burn patients were something she couldn't wait to get to. She was just about to tell Tsunade about all her plans for the hospital and the mental health clinic, when she was suddenly interrupted.

"What is it?" Sakura asked timidly, looking worriedly at her sensei.

Tsunade sighed and cupped her hands together. "Actually, I've been thinking about what I said earlier-about a vacation for you."

It took Sakura a long second before she understood what she was saying. "You were serious about that?"

Tsunade looked away guiltily. "After Kakashi's correspondence during my mission, I have been worried about you. You deserve a break. If you'd like, I could submit a request for a mission for you. An excuse to get you out of this village."

There was a mixture of feelings that swelled up in Sakura's chest. She was confused. Tsunade had been serious about her leaving? Sakura couldn't help but feel a little hurt as she stared blankly at Tsunade. But why? Did Tsunade want to be rid of her? Suddenly, she couldn't hold back the tears that suddenly came to her eyes.

"You want me to leave?" she squeaked, her composure shattering. "I mean, I know messed up, but I-"

"No, no," her sensei began, taking Sakura's hands into hers. "I'm not disappointed in you. I want you to go and do something. If just for a little while."

Sakura blinked away her tears but was still confused. How could she possibly leave now? Not only did her mental health clinic patients need her, but how would Tsunade keep up with it all without her? She would essentially be abandoning them.

Sakura started to shake her head, fumbling with her words. ."But I- I don't think- I can't just leave the clinic-"

"Stop right there," Tsunade interrupted. "What good can you do Sakura, if you're not taking care of yourself first?"

That comment stung a little. She blamed herself for not pushing herself harder and getting distracted by Sasuke and here was Tsunade telling her that she was doing too much and needed a distraction.

"These patients are important to me," Sakura began again, hoping that her dedication and resolve could be expressed in these words. She cherished these patients; she was responsible for them. They needed her, didn't they?

After a few seconds, Sakura looked down at her hands. The green mixture still covered her finger. "But where would I go? What would I do?"

"My dear girl," Tsunade said in her gentle but stern voice. "You have so much potential. I want you to go out into the world and change it. Get away from this place for a while. I know I certainly did when I was your age. But instead of gambling and drinking like me-well, drink a little-go open some more clinics and raise mental health awareness. Go deliver your medicine and mentor ninja in other villages."

Sakura thought about it for a long minute. How could she be expected to go out and change the world when she had failed in her own village? How could she even think about leaving? Then, she suddenly had another thought. Maybe they were better off without her. Maybe she wasn't what was best for the village at this point in her life. Maybe she could focus on herself for just once in her life and come back to the village with new experiences and knowledge; come back rejuvenated.

These thoughts were selfish of her and she started to shake her head.

"I don't know, Lady Tsunade," Sakura said, locating a rag on a cart nearby and wiping her green hand on it. "It's so sudden."

"It's up to you. I want you to do what's best for you," She said, walking over and placing her hands on her hips and leaning toward her. "Think on it and get back to me."

…

…

…

Naruto ducked his head as he made his way towards Sakura's apartment. It was the one place left he was hoping she'd be. He had already tried the hospital and Granny Tsunade had informed him that she had just left.

He sighed nervously. Naruto hadn't gotten the chance to tell her about his big news. He hoped she wasn't still mad at him about earlier. Naruto silently chastised himself. Perhaps he really needed to work on not jumping to conclusions and sticking his foot in his mouth, especially when it concerned Sakura. She really was going to be the death of him some day.

But it wasn't his news he was so uneasy about telling her. Sasuke had only just informed him a few moments ago that he was leaving the village, now that he had had the chance to discuss the new information regarding the White Zetsu Army with Kakashi and himself.

"Tomorrow?" Naruto questioned. "But that's so soon."

Sasuke kept his back to Naruto, a dark figure in the night outlined against the village lights. "There's nothing left for me to do here," he remarked distantly.

Naruto had wanted nothing more than to convince him to stay, to hook his arm around his friend's neck, tell him he could stay for a few days to catch up on all the sparring they were behind on. Maybe drag him back to Ichiraku's and insist the Uchiha owed him a free bowl of ramen, for losing their last fight. But the situation wasn't so simple. Sasuke had a mission-a mission that only he could complete with his Rinnegan. Sasuke was right when he said earlier that every day he remained here was a risk to the village.

Standing, his friend came to a stop beside him so that they were standing shoulder to shoulder, each facing the opposite direction. "I'll let you and Kakashi know if I discover anything else." And then he started to walk away.

Turning, Naruto laughed. "Is that a goodbye?"

Sasuke stopped walking but didn't turn when he responded, "Congratulations again. Your future is bright. I aim to keep it that way. For everyone."

"Wait," Naruto said quickly. This was goodbye, and Naruto wasn't ready for it. He was never ready for it. He wanted to say something. Something that would help Naruto feel like his friend was living a meaningful life-not one of loneliness.

Sasuke froze again when Naruto said, "I'm sorry it has to be you. I truly am. I want you to have a bright future, too."

There was no response for a long moment, and Naruto thought that maybe Sasuke wasn't going to say anything at all. Naruto sighed, resigned to say something else but was surprised when Sasuke finally responded.

"Tell Sakura that I'm sorry for everything. Tell her that I have to do this."

Naruto hung his jaw and shook his head, before spitting out, "Come on man. You should tell her that yourself. Go and at least say goodbye-"

"It's for the best," he said quickly, monotoned and serious. Naruto knew there would be no arguing with him. Unlike Sasuke, he didn't see how it was "the best" to leave without saying goodbye. They both knew how she would take it and Naruto couldn't bear to see her brokenness after finding out he had left without a word to her.

Naruto had sighed and Sasuke disappeared into the night. "Goodbye . . . Sasuke," he said to the wind.

Now, fist in his pockets, he stared dejectedly at the lights coming from Sakura's windows. He raised his hand and rapped his knuckles against the door.

He heard a crash and laughed silently to himself when he heard Sakura curse at a stool. The door opened, and Naruto flashed his pink-haired teammate the largest half-moon grin his facial features could manage.

"Naruto?" she exclaimed, opening the door wider. A smile broke across her face as tears suddenly came to her eyes. Naruto raised his hands in the air, confounded when her arms wrapped tightly around his chest. She was suddenly squeezing the breath from his lungs as tears trailed down her face.

"Sakura-" he choked out, face turning purple, "Your strength- hurting me," he choked out.

After releasing him, she held him back at arm's length and continued to cry. "I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! I can't believe you're going to be a dad!"

"Oh!" he released a sigh of relief. He suddenly turned giddy at the reminder of his big news. "How'd you find out?!"

"I saw Hinata," she said excitedly, pulling him through the archway of her doorframe. "At the hospital."

That's right. He suddenly remembered how Hinata was heading there with Granny Tsunade first thing once they got back. Naruto was glad that Sakura had been there for the visit, to be a part of it. He was glad Hinata was the one that had gotten to tell her, even if he was a little disappointed to not have gotten to see Sakura's initial reaction. He'd have to have Hinata tell him how it all went down. His pregnant wife was probably waiting up for him right now, as they spoke.

Sakura was suddenly pouring him a cup of hot tea as she raved about how excited she was to be an aunt. Naruto took the cup she offered and listened as she continued to lecture him on how to treat a pregnant woman, both emotionally and medically. She was saying something about swelling feet and cravings. Naruto found it difficult to take it all in as he stared at her with his eyes wide and mouth open. "Can you write that all down for me?"

She rolled her eyes, but then grinned at him. "It's going to be great. I'm so excited for you, Naruto. A baby is going to bring so much joy and happiness into your life. You deserve it."

He cheesed and nodded, laughing while rubbing the back of his head. "Yeahhh."

Suddenly Naruto was thinking about her words as she looked off into the distance. She said that the baby would bring him happiness.

"My resolve to protect this village is stronger than ever. In order to do that, I can't share in your happiness, Naruto."

"Your future is bright. I aim to keep it that way. For everyone."

Sasuke's words burned in Naruto's thoughts. He looked away from Sakura guiltily. He was suddenly remembering how he had once promised her that he would bring Sasuke back to the village for good. Even though Sasuke had returned to them, he still wasn't home to stay.

"Sakura," he began, unsure of how best to relay her Sasuke's message. "Er- about Sasuke."

Her smile and crinkled eyes faded. A frown and worried brow replaced them. She looked down into her cup. "You talked to him?"

"Yes," he tried to sound lighthearted. Naruto really didn't know how to put things in a way that wasn't so blunt and insensitive. If anyone deserved happiness, it was Sakura. How could he tell her that the love of her life was giving up on his own future filled with happiness all for the sake of the village- a future with her. It seemed Sasuke was the only one who thought that she could have a happy life without him, but Naruto knew the truth. Sometimes-on the rare occasion when he wasn't being so dense and unaware-Naruto could see how Sasuke's absence affected her. She would look longingly at her friends who were happy and whenever Sasuke's name came up in conversation, she would suddenly grow silent. Naruto felt selfish, basking in his own joy when all he wanted was to see his friends as happy as he was.

"He's leaving, I know," Sakura whispered and looked back up to meet his eyes. He nodded in response.

Setting her empty cup on the table they sat around, she asked, "I'm assuming that he's leaving very soon."

"Tomorrow," Naruto spoke hesitantly, flinching at his own words.

Sakura frowned, looked away and blinked hard, as if she were processing the word and questioning it, as if she were confused.

Naruto wasn't sure what happened between them while he was away, but it seemed as if Sakura were expecting this news already, as if she wasn't surprised at how soon he was leaving. Naruto hoped that this was the response he continued to receive as he began to tell her the rest of the message. It would be very nice not to piss her off and end up thrown through a wall tonight.

"He told me to tell you that he's sorry. That he has to do this," Naruto blurted nervously, and Sakura gaped at him which made him duck his head. Her sudden glare at the wall was making his gut tighten.

Naruto suddenly put a palm to his head, looking up at the ceiling, "Gah. I'm sorry Sakura! I tried to convince him-" and then under his breath: "why do I always end up putting myself in near death situations like this?"

She stood suddenly, which made him flinch and throw up his arms. Kindly taking his empty cup from his hands, she smiled at him which made Naruto both skeptical and worried. "Thank you- for coming and telling me that. It means a lot."

"Sakura," Naruto began again, trying to explain Sasuke's actions. Trying to come up with some justifiable excuse as to why it had to be him instead of Sasuke to tell her this. Naruto understood Sasuke better than a lot of people, maybe even better than Sakura. Sasuke was always that person with the drive to get things done, and even obsessing over it until he had accomplished his goal. This was true concerning Sasuke's revenge against Itachi, revenge against the Leaf, and now unlocking the secrets of the Otsusuki race in order to protect the village. This was another goal, and Naruto wondered if Sasuke's habit of excluding his friends would always be a constant in his missions.

How could he explain this to Sakura? How could Naruto best make her understand his closest friend?

But then Sakura said something that made Naruto second-guess himself in the matter of who in team 7 understood Sasuke the most.

"If Sasuke is already saying goodbye, then he's not leaving tomorrow."

…..

…..

…..

Sasuke couldn't wait to walk out of those village gates and be gone from this place. He had missed his freedom-those wide-open skies that left Sasuke feeling like he was someone else. Even though the village was dear to him, when Sasuke was surrounded by those walls with the Kage's faces peering down at him from the mountain, the Uchiha couldn't help but remember who he was. In the village, Sasuke was the only survivor of the Uchiha massacre; he was the convict that killed, murdered, and betrayed his village; he was the one who had tried to defeat the Hokage.

Sasuke told Naruto he was leaving tomorrow. This wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the entire truth either. Sasuke had told his dearest friend goodbye-in a way. He had also told him to tell Sakura his farewell, too. Sasuke seriously hoped she would understand why it was best that he left without seeing her. It would be less painful, he had hoped. But Sasuke knew that he was also chickening out. To be honest, he didn't want to see her face when he told her goodbye, or watch her cry, or listen to her pleads for him to stay. He had already told her everything he had needed to.

Because of this thinking, Sasuke decided to leave at 2 in the morning. He knew it was just the right time to leave without anyone noticing his departure. He didn't like the idea of running into someone he knew-or didn't care for-and small talk his way into an explanation, even if he didn't owe one. The truth was, he was avoiding everyone he cared for. Sasuke didn't like greetings, and he certainly didn't like goodbyes. It was easier this way, to leave in the middle of the night. By the time someone thought to look for him or question his whereabouts, he would be gone. Sasuke wouldn't have to deal with the responsibilities of goodbyes.

Walking down the path towards the village gates, Sasuke reached up and fingered the large knot that was still bulging from his eye. He stopped, suddenly, remembering his conversation with Sakura after their fight.

"All I would need to know is that you love me back. We don't have to be together to love each other, Sasuke."

He frowned, gritting his teeth against the weakness in his heart. She had told him that if he left, she wouldn't move on. Sasuke hoped that it was a lie. He didn't tell her that he loved her. Sasuke hated the idea of telling her about the feelings that had begun to strangle his good senses ever since he set foot back in this stifling village. He was afraid to give her hope. Afraid to sentence Sakura to a life of longing and waiting on him because she knew he had feelings for her. No matter how he looked at it, a lonely life was a loveless life. No, he would never tell her he loved her.

Sasuke looked down at his feet, surprised that they weren't moving. Why was he stopping? Why did he care? The Sasuke from a couple years ago wouldn't be thinking how he was now, with sadness in his heart combined with happiness for his friend who was expecting his first child.

Sasuke sighed, determination creeping back into his core. He had to protect them-all of them: Naruto, his wife, and future child; Sakura and her obnoxious blond friend, Kakashi and his future retirement; everyone Sasuke had ever known- he wanted them all to be happy, even if he couldn't.

He walked for a long while, resolving himself to his duty and mission. He repeated Itachi's words throughout his head, as if it were a chant he cited going into battle: "Self-sacrifice. A nameless shinobi who protects peace within its shadow. That is a true shinobi."

Sasuke felt pride for his brother. He would be a true shinobi, like Itachi.

Diluting the darkness, the full moon peeked out from the clouds. The crickets were loud and the only other noise Sasuke could hear were the pats of his own feet against the road's cobblestone. He passed the swing in front of the academy and stared at it momentarily before walking on. Coming around the bend on the only road out of the village, Sasuke halted just before he reached the stone bench on his right.

Standing quietly in the middle of the path, was the same girl he left all those years ago. The same girl who was going to dare Sasuke to make the same decision again- the decision to leave her behind.

…..

…..

…..

Sakura watched as Sasuke's distinct figure came around the corner. Even in the faint light, she could recognize that outline anywhere. He was walking slowly, on the only road out of the village. She had been right to come here. He really was leaving.

It took the Uchiha a minute to notice her. When he did, Sasuke stopped mid-step beside the bench that Sakura had been left on all those years ago. She prepared herself; she was not going to be that same girl.

Sighing, Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose. "What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?"

Taking a second to hold together her determination, she frowned at his comment. She tried to keep the crack out of her voice when she spoke, ""I thought we had agreed you were going to stop dodging me. I thought we had an understanding."

He didn't reply. Sakura tried to calm her terribly beating heart. Tears were already threatening to come to her eyes, and she chastised herself for them. Stupid girl,she thought to herself and held them back. Sakura was not going to cry. Not again. She was going to be strong.

"You haven't changed," she stated unhappily, and Sasuke blinked hard at her comment, raising wide eyes to meet hers. "You still won't tell me anything," she continued determinedly, doing her best to say what she felt. "You can't even say goodbye."

She was suddenly remembering what she had cried out to him the last time they stood together on this path: "Why don't you ever tell me anything?" Sakura was half-expecting the same cold response from him that Sasuke had spat out at her: "Why should I have to tell you anything?"

The rough whispered apology that Sasuke gave her instead, was the last thing she was expecting. "You're right," he spoke guiltily, looking away from her and letting out a sigh. "I'm sorry. It's better this way. It's easier."

Softening slightly, Sakura made her way towards him until she was standing only a few feet away from him. "Easier? For who, Sasuke? You?" She swallowed the lump in her throat, stilling herself to finish. "Because there's nothing easy about this for me."

Sasuke flinched and averted his gaze again. "I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted to avoid this."

She reached for his sleeve like she had that night in the alley. She had to keep him here, standing in this spot, as if to prevent him from disappearing. Her hand was shaking but Sasuke didn't move as her finger hooked under the hemmed fabric.

The clouds opened up again and when the moonlight fell upon Sasuke's features, Sakura met his eyes. They were unyielding onyx, firm with resolution. "My answer is still the same as before. I still can't be with you. I have to leave. I have to do this."

"I know you do," She responded, dropping his sleeve. Turning, she walked a few steps ahead of him and reached for the bag that lay in the shadow of nearby tree. Slipping the pack onto her back, she rotated back towards him. "That's why I'm coming with you."

….

….

….

Sasuke's calm, determined expression dissolved as he caught sight of the travel sack she slipped on. Her words formed in his mind, and he nearly exploded.

"You're not coming," he frowned. Sasuke was trying his best to think rationally, but the sight of Sakura standing fiercely, arms crossed, had Sasuke breathing hard with panic in his chest. Now was not the time for this.

"What are you going to do to stop me? Knock me out and leave me on that bench again?" It was almost a challenge.

"I'm considering it," he snapped, closing the distance between them.

She stared up at him, hands coming to rest on her hips. "Go ahead and try it. I'm not some helpless little girl you can leave behind, anymore."

It took him a heated minute to focus. Suddenly, he was faced with a situation he didn't know how to handle. He was going to be searching for evidence for the most powerful race in the universe. It was a very difficult journey and he was constantly having to stay on his guard. Not only this, but just by being with him, an Uchiha, would put a huge target on Sakura's back. What if something happened to her because of him? This was his greatest fear. He couldn't lose any of his loved ones again.

"No," he spoke firmly, shaking his head. "It's too dangerous. I want you to stay here, where it's safe."

She laughed, and the small noise made Sasuke nervous in a way that infuriated him.

"Actually," she smiled, pulling something out from the side compartment of the bag she carried. Between her fingers, she held out a scroll for him to see. It was red with words "A-Rank" scribbled in black ink across the top. "I'm a Jonin, now. I have my own mission to fulfill along the way."

Sasuke glared at the scroll she was concealing back into its special place, as if it were to blame for this entire inconvenience. What the hell was Kakashi thinking? Did he really give her permission to accompany him? Why would he do that?

"It's my turn for my own journey," she beamed again, adjusting the pack on her shoulders. "I'm leaving the village either way. I understand if you want to do this on your own. But I'd hoped we could do this together, so we aren't alone anymore."

Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair. God, she was annoying. An annoying, frustrating woman who was making Sasuke's stomach do somersaults. Sasuke undoubtedly did not want her to come. He was afraid of putting her in danger. He should have told her no; he should have walked away at that very moment. But he couldn't. Words from the past whispered to him in her sobbing voice: "You told me that day, what a painful thing solitude can be. I understand that pain, now. I have a family and friends, but if you were gone Sasuke. . . It would be the same thing for me, as being all alone."

It nearly broke his resolve, the thought of her feeling completely alone, just as he had for his entire life. Sasuke had come to terms with the loneliness that came with the responsibility of finding the Otsusuki clan. But, if Sakura were there, if only for a little while, could he escape that eternal loneliness? The thought was tempting, and his longing overwhelmed his dread.

Knowing he would regret it the moment he did this, he huffed crossly and grabbed onto Sakura's travel pack, lifting it carefully off her shoulders and roughly hooking his only arm through one of the straps. "I'll take this. You're just going to slow us down with it."

Sakura's face lit up as Sasuke began to walk forward, not even waiting for her. She immediately followed him, catching up to peer around at his expression. "You really mean it? I can come?"

"Don't make me regret it," he said unfeelingly, trying to figure out if she would have even taken no for an answer. "And don't get in my way."

Sakura wasn't listening. His pink-haired teammate was glowing and smiling mutely to herself. It was going to take Sasuke some considerable effort to get used to having her on missions with him, all over again. The old Sasuke wouldn't have been looking forward to the second chance.