Hey guys. Me again.
So you probably have two questions right now: 'Is this Arc 5' and 'Is this an April Fools' prank?'
The answers to those questions are 'no' and 'no.'
I've been struggling to write lately as none of the stories are coming together in my head. This includes both the original works I've been ruminating on, which both require a substantial amount of worldbuilding before I can really get started, and of course Arc 5. The arc is tricky because it might be the most ambitious thing I've ever tried writing due to the sheer number of plotlines and characters that needs to be balanced.
I have Subaru and Emilia who are searching for the Book, Felt, Garfiel, and Priscilla who are on a transcontinental roadtrip looking for Subaru, Beatrice, Puck, (Julius,) and Mimi who are planning their prison break, Crusch and Anastasia who are determined to break free of their blackmailers, the Triumvirate who saw everything blow up in their face at the last minute and are desperately trying to hold onto their power and influence in the face of rapidly spreading riots and protests, and Anri up north who's trying to clean up a huge mess bequeathed to her by Arc 4. Factor in a few characters you haven't met yet and I'm already up to seven distinct plot lines to balance. Naturally these plot lines won't all get equal time and attention but they do need to be properly developed and balanced and that does spread me out pretty thin.
Priscilla and Mimi were both very difficult to deal with because they were essentially one note characters and not multi-dimensional characters that were easy to spend a lot of time with. I ended up writing a full biography of Priscilla to uncover the layers of her troubled history and find traits that we could root for during a long journey together. I ended up writing her as not only an alpha bitch with a magical type of luck but as a cunning woman forged in the chaos of Vollachian politics who was capable of shifting from a violent shrew to a charming woman and master manipulator at the drop of a hat as needed. Priscilla is first and foremost a survivor who is determined to come out on top. Only the most perceptive people can see through all of Priscilla's artifices. The fact that she's the only one who seems capable of doing this drives Felt right up the god damn wall.
I haven't written a bio for Mimi yet but she needs some depth beyond 'cheerful genki neko' before their prison break gets anywhere.
I won't spoil Subaru and Emilia's journey for you yet but trust me, things are going to get very complicated.
Anyway, because I was struggling so much to write recently, I decided to reset and try something different. I spent the past two weeks working on a What If story where I explore what would have happened during my Arc 4 if a single decision had been made differently. My original plan was to publish it on April 1st since that seems like a good day for What if stories (and is also Subaru's birthday I just remembered).
However, I was still adding new plot elements and twists just last night so I think that I'm going to take a little more time and polish the story before publishing it sometime this month. That said, I'd hate to give you nothing to mark the day so in lieu of the new Omake, please accept this: a short flash fiction I wrote some years ago. I have no idea what I was smoking at the time but I stumbled across it recently and found it amusing enough to rescue. I remember writing this as a minor bit of worldbuilding for something completely different and then the situation just ran away with me and I kept spitting words down on the page as surprised as anyone else by what those words actually were.
In any event, thanks as always for the consistent support and feedback you've been providing. I read last night that apparently Tappei got his start writing fanfiction for the Familiar of Zero.
I have to admit I found that to be encouraging since it's hard for me to take a whole lot of pride in fanfiction (despite how addicted I've become to having an actual audience who likes my writing. Thanks again for that by the way).
Still, it's nice to hear that someone else started out with fanfiction and then found an audience to enjoy their own original work.
Anyway, happy April. Thanks as always for your feedback and encouragement and I'll have something new for you to read sometime this month. I'll put a link to the new Omake here when it's published.
If one goes a mere twenty blocks from the Imperial Palace, one will encounter stately Lycroft University, home to the nearly fifty million students studying at any given time in the Imperial Capital. In keeping with the Emperor's belief in growth through competition, the University is divided up into many Houses and fraternities who specialize in different studies and proficiencies. It is no exaggeration to say that which House a student joins at University is at least as important to their future as their field of study. Any aspiring alchemist seeks to join the Methel House whose members specialize in some of the most sophisticated chemistry in the Empire as well as regular parties featuring the finest brewed liquor available anywhere. Pisces House is a natural draw for those exploring a military career, having fielded many exceptional officers in the Imperial Navy who still maintain active relationships with the House in a mentoring capacity. Roddick House has a proud tradition of athletic celebrities, Cade House specializes in painting.
Foxquat House is perhaps the least admirable house on the entire campus. Having never excelled at anything in particular, the House became known informally as the House to which losers applied once they had been rejected everywhere else. This reputation was not helped by the fact that Foxquat House had been built literally over the school's Metro station for the city monorail. At least once an hour, one can expect the entire building to shake like a dog getting out of the bath due to arriving or departing trains.
The practice of dumping assorted losers at Foxquat House continued for several centuries until the enrollment of one Willard Fisk, an aspiring alchemist who through sheer dogged determinism discovered a mathematical procedure which expressed the physical attractiveness of any person as a single one to ten number.
This legendary achievement transformed the fortunes of Foxquat House overnight. No longer considered a dormitory for the dregs and lowest members of society, it was immediately re-branded as the natural home for the horniest men and women on campus. The House promptly embraced a new motto, proudly emblazoned on a banner stretched across the exit of Metro Station below their building: "We all get off here."
Willard Fisk was immediately hailed as a hero by his brothers and sisters of Foxquat. Sadly, this reputation did not last long as Willard was expelled from University a few months later during his third year. For his senior project, Willard had been performing experiments in attempting to utilize organosulfur compounds in an attempt to develop more powerful artificial flavors. During an ill-advised experiment where he attempted to 'crack' the trimer trithioacetone, Willard produced a compound with an intensely foul odor. So foul that it caused the complete evacuation of the campus for miles in every direction. Experiencing a spontaneous outbreak of mass vomiting, both students and faculties fled the campus en-mass. Except for the local smoker's club who were heard to ask what all the fuss was about.
The entire campus was evacuated while chemical safety crews worked feverishly to try to contain the damage. These crews discovered to their frustration that water and similar cleaning agents did not appear to dilute the smell but only to spread it around further. Finally, the chemical crew took a flamethrower to the entire lab in a desperate effort to contain the odor.
Willard Fisk was sharply reprimanded by the University governing council and placed on probation. This probation would last two weeks until Willard Fisk performed the exact same experiment again in an effort to figure out where he'd gone wrong the first time. The results of the experiment were identical and Willard Fisk was unanimously expelled by the University board, having deeply touched the lives of everyone on campus in a way that few students could ever hope to replicate.
Willard Fisk was gone but his legacy lived on. To this day, Foxquat House has specialized in keeping up-to-date records of the sexual attractiveness score of every one of the more than reasonably famous people among the Imperium's five hundred billion citizens. This is done voluntarily by members of the House as a point of pride. Dedicated students devote their own free time to combing through every glamour magazine, porn film, and shopping catalog to ensure that their ratings were as up to date as possible. No new starlet or musician could be on the scene for more than a few weeks before their appearance would be cataloged and filed in the House's records. As a result of this tireless pursuit, Foxquat House prides itself on the greatest collection of skin magazines in the modern Empire.
The musician Ella Sharpe, a songstress famous both for her ballad "Dreaming that we never met" and for her notably different sized nostrils, was once heard to remark that it was only after she discovered that she had been given an official 'score' by Foxquat House that she understood that she had truly 'arrived' as a successful musician.
She also reported that it was only after she viewed her own lamentably low attractiveness score that she understood why she was so often stood up on dates.
Foxquat House has maintained this practice of documenting the sexual desirability of the general public for generations. The alumni of the House claim that it is a sacred calling, worthy of being pursued with the same fervor as artist excellence or athletic achievement.
The University administration has stated that it is impossible to know if even the House members take themselves seriously at this point.
Princess Ico has caused the students of Foxquat House much consternation. Princess Ico, first of her name, Lady of the EstLands, and the White Rose of the Empire was also sometimes very unofficially referred to as the Frost Princess due to her colorless hair and her remarkably pale skin. This title has remained unofficial despite the notably drunk Duke Whembly attempting to present her with it at a state banquet.
The Princess responded to this unrequested 'description' of her appearance by placing a curse on the Duke which made him vomit a mixture of slugs and salt for three days straight. On reflection of the incident, the Duke was later wont to say that, on the whole, he had preferred the slugs to the salt.
Princess Ico's unusual looks sharply divided the members of Foxquat House. One faction claimed that her only average attractiveness score was far too low and that her almost impossibly regular features should place her at the very top of the rankings. Others argued that it was this very impossible perfection that made her repulsive due to crossing the line into the uncanny valley. The debate continued for weeks with neither side conceding ground.
Ultimately, drastic measures were called for.
Since weapons are not allowed on Campus, duels between the factions of Foxquat House had to be performed much more creatively. There were pie-eating contests, video game tournaments, beer pong, and even one attempt to physically 'out fuck' the other which was ruled a draw after the University Dean came across the combatants still struggling together in the bushes during his morning constitutional.
This civil war, which threatened to tear the famous porno fraternity apart was ultimately resolved when Norquist Blythe and his loving (but no strings attached) significant other, Glenda Hoogkins took control over a deeply divided House leadership and narrowly voted to adjust the Princess's score slightly higher, largely to avoid offending the Princess or the Emperor. This was a decision that most House members ultimately conceded was wise.
It is unknown what Princess Ico thought about any of theses incidents or if she was indeed even aware of the enormous impact that her mere appearance had on the strange Foxquat House. At one point, a reporter named Skip Channing, an alumni of Foxquat House, inquired what the Princess thought of the infamous Foxquat civil war. Upon receiving a confused reply from the Princess, Channing proceeded to explain the origins and nature of the war. He then inquired if she had an opinion of the incident and what her own sexual attractiveness score should be. This was probably not wise as in response the Princess cast a spell making Channing's nose hairs six feet long.