Chapter 6: Who needs Enemies?

Sasuke and I split ways near the Uchiha compound, and I walked further into town to Gotsu's—Akuma's father's—smithy. Smoke rose from its chimney, and I noticed two familiar aura's inside. As I neared the front door I could hear the tail-end of a discussion.

"I must humbly agree your collection is quite sightworthy. My father would do well to establish contact with yours," Yuu said, followed by a metal clunk.

"Heh, told ya we weren't just some common drabble," Akuma responded.

I pulled open the door just in time to see Yuu's ears turn pink. "Indeed, I would like to reiterate how dearly regretful I am for my poor choice of words."

"Making you eat dirt a few times sure did wonders for your attitude," she chortled, placing a sword back in its rack.

Strangely enough, Yuu's robes didn't seem any worse for wear despite her stated actions. Did he bring extras?

"How do you do, fellow kids?" I announced. "I take it the two of you had a lot of fun beating the snot out of each other?"

Akuma turned to me, revealing a black eye. "Satoya, you're okay!" She clapped my shoulder. I was shocked she hadn't come out of that fight unscathed.

"What the heck happened to you?" I asked.

"Oh this? Yuu wasn't quite as much of a pansy as I thought, though I'm still the undisputed winner of our duel." she brashly announced.

I turned to Yuu. He hadn't escaped unscathed either, sporting a swollen cheek. "I may have underestimated her."

"But that isn't important." Akuma exclaimed. "We totally saw you and sensei shout at each other before you kicked him straight in the face. That was epic by the way."

"I was certain you would be thrown out of the academy for that," Yuu added. "Were you?"

"No… We probably won't be seeing Takanori-sensei again, though."

"Oh wow you got a teacher fired! Awesome," Akuma said, punching my shoulder, again.

"No, that kick killed him," I responded, completely deadpan. Yuu looked horrified, but Akuma didn't bat an eye.

"Hilarious," she said, rolling her eyes. "So, what actually happened? I don't think I've ever seen you get that pissed before!"

I wasn't sure how to feel about her exuberance at my angry outburst. "It's a bit hard to explain…"

"Then explain away, peasa—ahem, Satoya-kun. We would both like to hear the full story."

"Alright, alright. We should maybe sit down somewhere though. I don't want to stay standing at the entrance for the whole story."

And so, I explained what had happened, occasionally interrupting to answer questions.

"Sensei is a total jerk, but he's also kinda right." Akuma stated.

"How in the world was he right?" Yuu responded in my stead.

"Shush, you haven't fought Satoya-kun, you wouldn't know," she said, turning to me. "I've sparred with you a bunch, Satoya, and I know that your hits are for sure weaker than they should be. I mean, you work at the forge and spend hours lugging around metal no problem!"

I flexed my right biceps. "What can I say? These {guns} make it hard to move around."

"What are gansu?" Yuu asked.

"Just ignore it," Akuma advised. "And quit deflecting with dumb jokes, Satoya!"

"Fine, fine," I replied. "Maybe I'm just not a good fighter. You ever consider that?"

"Oh, come on, even Yuu managed to give me a big fat bruise. I know you could do the same if you wanted."

"Even?" Yuu yelped.

"Okay, point taken," I said.

"Wha—!?"

"So anyway, that's the end of my grand tale. Is everything adequately cleared up now?" I asked, cutting off Yuu's outrage.

"I sorta want to try fighting you when you aren't holding back, now," Akuma said, cracking her knuckles.

Yuu regarded my arms and absently rubbed at his cheek. "I believe I would prefer spectating, personally."

"Tsk, a pansy after all," Akuma grumbled. "Oh well, more fun for me!"

I gently lowered her hands back to her sides. "Let's wait until tomorrow, little {barbarian}. I'm here to do work!"

"Oh yeah! Dad said I finally get to make a sword today!" her eyes glowed with passion—literally.

I could only imagine the horrors that awaited me should I ever meet Gai and Lee. Getting blinded by the flames of youth wasn't my idea of fun.

"In that case, I shall take my leave," Yuu said, lightly bowing.

"It's no problem if you stay and watch," Akuma said. "Also, please can you speak normally? Satoya is bad enough already."

"It is only natural to speak in a manner that befits my status!" Yuu squawked in a tone hardly befitting his status.

"How dare thee mock mine manner of speech, heathen!" I parroted.

"Argh both of you are awful! I guess at least you're funny, Yuu. Satoya just acts like a crazy person half the time."

Who are you calling crazy, you battle junkie!

"Pot, meet kettle," I replied, sticking my tongue out.

"What does that even mean?" she whined. "You keep using that weird made up language too!"

"He doesn't just do it to annoy me?" Yuu asked.

"{I'll have you know it is neither weird, nor made up.}" I explained.

"There you go again!"

"Okay fine." I said, "But just so you know, you're missing out on a {meme} gold mine over here."

"What even is a—No, you know what? I won't deal with this. You're just a dummy."

"What did you just say to me you little scamp? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the {Navy Seals} and have over thirty—"She punched me in the arm, hard—"Guh, you'll be hearing from my {lawyer} for"—she raised her fist again—"Okay I'll stop."

Meanwhile, Yuu was rubbing his chin in contemplation. "What's this about having invented an entire language?"

I smirked, but didn't answer. Before Yuu could push and further Gotsu finally popped into the room.

"Sorry for the delay. The customer may be king, but specialty orders sure are a handful." He took note of the newcomer. "I see my daughter brought another boy to our home."

Gotsu gave us all a closer look. "I also can't help but notice a bruise on her face."

"Dad!"

"Let me guess." Gotsu continued. "You came here to learn about smithing?"

"Not at all, sir. I-"

"A-HA! You admit you're here to flirt with my little girl, then?"

I facepalmed.

Akuma turned red in a mix of shame and anger.

Yuu's train of thought derailed, crashed, and exploded.

"Caught ya red-handed, didn't I?" Gotsu chuckled evilly.

"Dad please just stop it! This is Yuu Ogura. I invited him over here because he was interested in the shop."

Her father's eyes narrowed. "You're the son of the one in charge of that fancy schmancy trading company?"

Yuu winced, cleared his throat and straightened his back. "In truth, my grandfather started it after leaving the service. We moved here to expand our business."

"And your father ordered you here to build up clientele," Gotsu said, sceptical.

"I was not ordered here by anyone, Gotsu-sama. I came here of my own accord. I wished to confirm whether Akuma-chan—" Gotsu's eyes narrowed"—san's prideful declarations held any merit. It seems they were not mere empty words."

"And now you wish to stay and watch the weapon forging process," Gotsu stated.

"I would be delighted to, sir."

Akuma's father murmured something unintelligible before responding, "Alright, you may stay. Please keep in mind my daughter is not quite at my level. Though in a few years that may very well change."

Hey what about me?

He ushered the two into the back, completely ignoring my existence.

Hello!?

It turned out the bastard was more than happy to leave me all alone in the back of the shop to hammer the impurities out of metal, while he sucked up to the son of a wealthy merchant.

"{So what if I'm not as good as his darling daughter?}" I huffed while hammering at the chunk of metal. "{I don't need some old fart's approval! Especially not if I'm older than him.}"

Which may or may not have been true, I hadn't ever asked for his age. Judging by his beard's epicness though… Nono, my inability to grow decent amounts of facial hair had nothing to do with my age, and everything to do with genetics.

"Not like having long hair is smart in a forge to begin with," I grumbled.

I shouldn't have been getting myself so worked up, I was probably applying too much force to the metal.

"Hey Satoya, how's it going?"

I missed the ingot and the hammer nearly flew out of my hand after it clanged against the anvil.

"Naruto, what're you doing here? Why aren't you at Kiba's?"

"Kiba has a clan gathering today and I was bored."

"Well, you can't be here. It's not safe! How'd you even get in?"

He glanced back and forth between me and the window. You gotta be kidding me. Of course, the door opened before I could tell Naruto to leave.

"You better not be damaging equipment, boy!" Gotsu admonished.

His expression then shifted between surprise, puzzlement, recognition, and, finally, cold disdain. None of it was aimed at me.

"Who let that brat in here?" he snapped. "You better not be scheming something in my shop, boy!"

"Dad, what's going on?" Akuma asked as she walked in. "Oh, hey Naruto, how'd you get in here?"

"You're friends with this kid too?" Gotsu asked.

"Yeah, he's a classmate." she responded, unaware of her father's inner turmoil.

"You should stay away from him. He's… bad news," her father said.

"Naruto?" she clarified, finally picking up on the tense atmosphere. "How's he any worse than Satoya? Neither of them have done much pranking around town recently."

"You will no longer spend time with this child or any of his friends, and that's final!" Gotsu ordered.

Naruto was shrinking down into the corner of the room, attempting to fade into the background. I instinctively stepped in front of him to shield him from the smith's harsh glare.

"I know you may not be acting the most rationally right now, as it concerns the safety of your daughter. However, may I inform you that all of us, including your daughter, are Naruto's friends. By your own logic she can no longer spend time with herself," I reasoned. "And you'd also lose potential ties to a wealthy client for your wares."

I may have been imagining things, but Yuu actually flashed me a thumbs up from beyond the doorway. Of all things, to think my early career in customer service was actually worth something.

Gotsu lost some of his fire trying to parse my monologue. "Fine, you may stay. I still want him—" he pointed at Naruto"—out of my shop!"

Naruto was already reaching for the windowsill, but Akuma held him back. "Dad, stop! I'm tired of dumbass grownups bullying kids for no good reason."

"I must agree," Yuu added. "I cannot in good conscience recommend working with you if this is how you treat your peers."

Oh wow that's rich coming from you.

I kept my mouth shut.

"First one of our teachers nearly kills Satoya and now you order one of my friends to leave the house, acting like he's some monster." Akuma continued.

"He is!" Gotsu retorted.

That came extremely close to setting me off. Thankfully Akuma's discontented sneer already cut her father off before I could. Gotsu seemed to be weighing the odds of arguing with her, ultimately deciding it was not worth it to raise her ire and deflating in defeat.

"I can't make your choices for you… but please be careful around the boy. Things aren't always what they seem."

Maybe you should follow your own damn advice.

Akuma nodded her head and dragged Naruto back to where she'd been forging her sword. I sensed his mood quickly bounce back to its usual enthusiasm and returned to my work. My dull, monotonous work. Only now, Gotsu was also watching over me like a hawk, likely to avoid witnessing his daughter interact with the dreaded demon child.

What joy.

By the time I was nearly finished with my task, I heard Naruto cheer from the other room. "Oh wow this is so cool!" He must've been speaking loudly just to spite me.

"Give that back you bastard!" Akuma yelped. "You're gonna break it!"

Gotsu opened the door, revealing an incensed Akuma chasing the blond ball of energy all over the forge as he haphazardly swung around her newly forged sword. Yuu, meanwhile, was pursing his lips trying not to laugh.

"Kid, I want to see pure ingots by the end of the day," Gotsu said, having decided to stay out of it and close the door.

I turned to face the grumpy old man. "No offence, but why exactly are you making me do this monotonous task instead of—oh, I don't know—teaching me about forging weapons, like Akuma?"

He snorted. "Simple. Akuma is passionate about swords, while you are not."

Fair enough. It was tough to get passionate about dinky bits of metal when faced with the possible future of fighting gigantic Kaiju and city-destroying supervillains.

"Were I not passionate, why would I put up with hammering metal for hours?"

"I reckon it's thanks to a strong sense of duty. You've committed yourself to this path, but that doesn't mean you know what to do with this commitment."

I shrugged off his statement and got back to hammering. "Still doesn't explain what you need all this metal for." Having spent hours doing nothing but folding and purifying ore into ingots left me with a rather large chunk of the stuff.

"This metal in particular? Nothing. It's yours."

I gave a long uncomprehending look, shook my head, and kept hammering. "What do I need all this material for?"

"You know this better than I do," Gotsu said, holding up one of the ingots for inspection. "You seemed to have a few ideas in mind when you first started, at least."

"They didn't really seem achievable with my level of skill." And crafting firearms would garner a lot of scrutiny from the shadier parts of Konoha's elite.

"And yet you never bothered asking me for advice?" Gotsu asked, tapping the ingot with a small hammer. "Don't want me to steal your credit and tell everyone of your innovations?"

His words struck dangerously close to the truth, but his smile gave away that he wasn't serious. Not that I truly knew how to build modern weaponry in the first place. Sure, I might have been able to craft a metal cylinder to fire pellets out of with some fire Jutsu, but how useful would that really be? I didn't recall any important character ever having died from kunai, and high level ninja most certainly launched those at faster speeds than your average bullet.

So what did I want to make? There must be some simple useful thing I could craft. Something that wouldn't require too much outside help.

"Maybe I'll start with some custom fitted training weights." I finally concluded aloud.

With enough experience a full training suit was a very real possibility. Wait… a suit. Now there was an idea! I could see it in my mind's eye. A chakra powered suit of metal armour. Those existed in Snow, didn't they?

"Better, I'm going to be Iron Man!" I declared. The stars in my eyes lit up the room's back wall.

"Because you hammer iron all day?" Gotsu asked, setting the examined ingot back on the pile.

"Har har, I mean I just had an idea about armour. How much do you know about…" What even was Tony Stark? A mechanical engineer? Electrical? "engineering?"

"You mean industrial work? Not a lot. I cater to shinobi. Sturdy, reliable, tools to get the job done. Leave structural projects to the nutsos from the capital."

Another thing for the future in that case. Suna had their combat puppets so there must be some way to make it work. Sasori was pretty close to a low-tech iron man now that I thought about it.

"I guess I'll have to figure it out on my own," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "What about chakra metal?"

"Pah! No way in hell are ya getting a full set of that. You'd be lucky to afford a sword's worth of the stuff by the time you graduate!" Gotsu said. "Anyway, your metal's decent enough for basic armour and weights. I'll show you how to craft 'em starting next week."

With my newfound determination I dutifully finished my work for the day.

"Why'd you pick such mean friends"? Naruto asked later that evening, nursing the comically large bruise on his head with a pack of frozen peas.

I stared across my dining room table and laughed. "You realise I chose to befriend you, right?"

Naruto grumpily puffed up his cheeks. "Guess even you make good choices from time to time."

I snorted. The choice really wasn't mine. Get Naruto alone in a room with any single person and they end up becoming friends at some point. He was like a black hole of attracting platonic relationships.

Poor Naruto. Doomed to end up in everyone's friend zone for all eternity. Except for Hinata, unless that plot point has fallen victim to the butterfly effect.

Calling it a plot point may have been stretching things.

"But seriously, you seemed to enjoy yourself plenty," I finally responded, getting back to shredding the chicken breast for tonight's meal.

"Yeah, Akuma's always fun! Also really intense. Yuu acts all stuffy, but I know he secretly wants to join in and is just a big wuss about it."

That made me laugh, but I cut myself off when I seriously considered what Yuu's home life must have been like. He'd moved all this way from a different country and immediately enrolled in a military academy. Bizarre.

I shook myself free from those thoughts. "Yeah Akuma can be rough, I suggest you quit annoying her so much. Or you could just hit her back when she hits you."

"That wouldn't be fair." He grumbled.

"How so? Quid pro quo is the epitome of fairness," I reasoned. "She's tough enough to take a punch."

"Because…" he quieted. "I guess I deserved it a little bit."

"Hah! At least you acknowledge it was your own fault. You shouldn't take other people's belongings."

"Yeah, but the sword was all shiny and I never held a newly forged weapon before."

Most people probably never hold those.

I carried the bowl of chicken to the kitchen counter. "Do you want to learn kenjutsu at some point?"

"Mm, not really. I'd rather learn some awesome ninjutsu!"

Good, had me a little worried there.

"Well then don't worry about holding a shiny sword. Why don't you help me prep some good food for you instead? It'll help grow your chakra reserves."

Naruto grumbled but complied. Not that eating a few minutes earlier changed much of anything. I just wanted to make sure he knew his way around the kitchen well enough not to starve once I started going on missions outside Konoha.

And here I'd thought I'd never end up raising children.

The next morning's classes came and went, and I was itching with anticipation to see who would replace Takanori. I shouldn't have been surprised.

"Greetings students. My name is Mizuki Touji and I will be your new taijutsu instructor alongside Heikichi-san. I'm excited to get to know you all, and hope you will come to see me as not just a teacher, but also a friend."

Heikichi only shook his head. I wasn't impressed either—even when Mizuki crouched down to face us at equal height.

"Let's start with some stretches," he said with a cheerful smile. "And afterwards you'll all get the chance to impress me with your Taijutsu skills."

"Yes Mizuki-sensei," the class chorused back.

Alright, scratch that. I was impressed by his acting skills. Even his aura seemed completely sincere. Without my foreknowledge I'd have never expected him to be the man who'd later go on to betray the village and damn near murder a harmless, adorable kid.

Mizuki might have seemed nice, but I knew what he was like underneath. I counted on it. Every proper munchkin needed to know the Shadow-clone jutsu, and Mizuki was the surefire way of getting my hands on it.

Bold of you to assume you'll be able to learn it at all.

Chakra shaping and hand seals were both extremely difficult—especially without proper guidance. Six years of training barely sufficed to learn a few E-rank jutsu for most students. Civilians like me were basically screwed when it came to more advanced instruction since they had no clan to help them outside the Academy.

Now that I thought about it, every single canon team had at least one clan heir in it. No other teams had passed their jonin-sensei's test in the original storyline. If I wanted personalised training—practically a must if one didn't want to end up a dead redshirt—I needed to get on a passing team.

That opened a whole other can of worms. My only friends without established team placements were Akuma and Yuu. If I wanted to uphold canon they were my only choice.

Great, a bratty hothead and an arrogant prick.

They were similar to Naruto and Sasuke in a way, though without being overpowered—like an off-brand copy. Did that make me an off-brand Sakura? Nono, if anything, I'm Naruto and Akuma is Sakura. She was the girl, after all.

Is that sexist? I hope nobody is reading my mind right now…

Akuma smacked me in the shoulder the very next moment.

"How did you know?" I asked in shock.

She looked befuddled. "I just wanted to ask you if we can spar now that you're not scared about hurting people."

"And here I thought you had left me for another man." I said, wiping a faux tear from my eye.

She rolled her eyes. "Shush, Satoya, or I will leave."

"Hey, you're the one who wants to fight." I raise my hands in a placating gesture. "Or are you perchance looking for an excuse to get out of fighting me? I mean, I am an absolutely amazingly terrifying opponent after all."

She pulled back her shoulder and I barely had the time to tense my stomach muscles. A hand clasped hers before she could throw the punch.

"Now now, while I appreciate the passion, no fighting before we say so," Mizuki admonished.

"Sorry sensei." she said. "This one's getting on my nerves."

"Yes, young boys can be annoying. This doesn't mean we should attack our allies." Mizuki chuckled. "We all need to watch each other's backs."

Nice double standards you got there, pal.

He clapped his hands. "Alright. Instead of sparring all at the same time, I'd like for everyone to spar for a few minutes in front of the whole class. This way I can highlight what works, and what doesn't."

90% of people are about to be horribly humiliated.

The fights were about as embarrassing to watch as I expected. Mizuki even went so far as to interrupt our exhibitionary matches after we witnessed Hinata absolutely demolish some poor civilian girl.

Mizuki vocalised how sorely disappointed he was in our previous training regimen, and how we should all take Hinata as a prime example of the level of fitness we ought to reach by the end of the year.

We then switched over to body conditioning, dialling the intensity up to 11. It didn't bother me much—I had more than enough stamina to spare—but I could see how taxing it was for most of the other students, even some of the clan members.

Poor Shikamaru… I guess his mother hasn't forced him to train too much at his current age.

It was only once the class was thoroughly exhausted that the sparring started once again. It was somehow even sadder than before, everyone so thoroughly exhausted they could hardly fight. Akuma looked just about ready to keel over when it was our turn.

"This is… hardly… fair." she said, her body still trembling from exertion.

"Whatever do you mean? One must be ready for anything. What if you're ambushed on the road after having run across the country?" I said with a smirk.

She glared at me. "Fine, I'm not scared. Come at me!"

She pulled up her arms in a defensive position. It did little to dissuade me from storming straight at her and bulldozing her to the ground. She had not expected a frontal charge from my normally passive self, and her tiredness slowed her dodge.

"I win." I said, feeling far prouder than I had any right to.

"Perhaps you should fight someone equally energetic?" Heikichi spoke up. He'd mostly just been glowering off to the side throughout this lesson. "None of the other students were up to sparring with this poor young man."

I could sense my teacher's mischievous glee as he pulled Sasuke to the forefront and tried my best not to look too put off. "Uhh… sure thing sensei."

Sasuke gave me a slight bow, before entering a combat ready stance. I mirrored his movements. Though I held back less than in our last duel, Sasuke still dominated the fight. My strikes may have exceeded his regarding raw power, but for that to matter I had to actually land any of them. Sasuke was just too damned fast for me.

The spar ended with me lying and groaning on the ground.

"Very good, Sasuke-kun. Your technique and speed are both outstanding. Your strength is a bit lacking for now, but that will change when you grow. The only piece of advice I can give is to keep doing what you've been doing," Heikichi commented.

Mizuki focused on me. "Satoya-kun, your footing is solid and you certainly don't lack brawn. However, I suggest you focus on learning how to better synchronise your movements to your intent."

The heck kinda vague advice is that?

"All in all, I am very impressed by both of you." Mizuki continued. "It is rare to see a civilian stand up to an Uchiha clan member for so long, especially one as skilled as Sasuke-kun. Perhaps it would do you two well to continue your sparring."

Why do you hate me, God?