One more, because I'm definitely out of control. I've almost finished a painting of a Tanuki statue, so of course, I have to celebrate my almost-success with writing another chapter. And this one's a good one. I don't want to spoil much, but there's another good Naraku scene coming up, that I had a blast writing.

That's how that works.

Right?

Anyway, let's just read. Another chapter for you to enjoy.

Miasma

Here the power is ruthless and the truth is deaf. Here the air is filled with the miasma of sin
- Jean Racine

I hid away.

I couldn't face Lord Hitomi, my future father in law, knowing how cold and sadistic a man he was in the face of his son's genuine emotions.

I couldn't face Kagewaki, my future husband, knowing he would be overjoyed with his father's decision, a decision that devastated me.

I couldn't face Naraku, knowing I had defiled my future marriage before it could even be born by fucking him in a fit of passion I still wasn't sure I regretted.

So I did the only thing I could. I hid away from the world. My room was too open, the gardens too public, the baths too populated. So I explored. I found the oldest, dustiest room I could in the castle and I sat there. The room was a bedroom, old and filled with beautiful trinkets. Whoever had lived there had been a woman that truly lived in luxury.

Until she had died, at least.

The centre of the room had a low table set up with a memorial shrine. The woman, drawn on a thick piece of scroll, was beautiful. Depicted with a slim face and opulent jewellery, she was dressed in an intricately detailed kimono. Naoko Hitomi, the drawing said in its top corner.

Hitomi? Was this Kagewaki's mother?

It was sad to see her shrine in such a state, covered with dust. The incense had long since burned out, and the offering bowls were empty. It looked like she hadn't been visited in years.

I took the time to clean the dust off each piece of the shrine gently, giving it the attention that it deserved. No shrine should go forgotten. I had nothing to offer, and no incense to light, but I uttered a quiet prayer for her soul, bent over the newly cleaned shrine.

Then I sat back, hands on my knees and stared at the inked face.

"What do I do?" I asked the image of my future mother-in-law.

I got no answer, of course. I felt warm, though. Like this place was a place that I wouldn't be judged.

So I talked.

"Your son is a beautiful man. He's gentle and sweet. In any other situation, I think I could love him." And maybe I could learn to in this situation, but there was too much hurt there now that he didn't even know about. I couldn't tell him, because then I would prove his father right. Even if I didn't tell him, it would fester between us and make a rift that would make both of us miserable. "You raised him well. I'd be proud to have a son like him, one day."

I sighed, picking at the sleeve of my kendoki.

"Your husband is cruel. How could he do that to Kagewaki? Let him think he's getting everything he wants, just to watch him break." It was disgustingly cruel. How could a man do that to his child? Fathers were supposed to protect and love their children, keep them from harm. Kagewaki was an adult, but he was still Nagasaki's son.

I hoped whatever man I eventually married would never be so cruel to his children.

But it wasn't eventual. I was to marry Kagewaki. Soon.

At least I knew he would be a kind man. I didn't have to worry about him being cruel to our children.

I took a shuddering breath. Then there was the real issue, the one that had me hiding away. "And I'm a slut." I could throw blame and harsh words at others, but the situation boiled down to me and my fit of passion with a man I didn't even know the face of. "Naraku... I don't know what to think of him. Sometime's he's charming. He's a smart man. And sometimes I get this feeling. Like something's not right about him. He feels... dangerous, in a way I've never felt before. It scares me sometimes. But the fear... I like it. It's exciting."

That was why I didn't regret it. Because, as lurid and awful as it may be, it was exciting. I liked the idea, the whispers and secrets and luridity of it.

"What do I do, Lady Naoko? I don't want to hurt him."

Hurting Kagewaki was the one thing I didn't want to do in this situation.

It was the one thing that was guaranteed.

Why was life so cruel to those that didn't deserve it?

As much as I wished to hide away forever, I couldn't. I had to face the music sometime.

Wishing to avoid the conversation with Naraku for as long as I could, perhaps indefinitely if I could manage it, I sought out Kagewaki first.

He was in his chambers. The door was slid open, as it sometimes was, so I stepped inside. He was behind the reed blinds, laid in his futon, facing the open door to the gardens. I could see his long hair sprawled out across the ground through the slats. I stood the other side of the blinds, watching him for a long moment, wondering whether I could leave without him even knowing I was there.

It seemed like a good idea, but it wouldn't serve me anything except feed the fear I needed to quash.

I couldn't avoid it forever.

"Lord Kagewaki?"

The moment between him realising it was me and him embracing me was perhaps the quickest I had seen him move before. I stood in his embrace for a while, before wrapping my arms around him.

Stupid. Fool. What are you doing?

I didn't know whether I was speaking to him or myself.

"My lady wife, I was worried. Where have you been?"

My lady wife. That was a quick adjustment, considering we hadn't even married yet. I hoped there were still months before our marriage yet. I'd probably need all that time and more to prepare myself. I didn't comment, though. Perhaps hearing it would make it less of a shock when it did happen.

"Lord Kagewaki, I-" Sighing, I held him tighter. "I'm sorry."

"There's no need for apologies." He pulled back and cupped my jaw gently. Don't do that. The pad of his thumb ran over my cheek in a reverent caress. I don't deserve it. "You're here now and safe. That is all that matters."

His kiss was sweet and gentle, but all I could taste was bitter guilt.

"I could scarcely believe my father when he agreed to our union. You'll make a fine addition to the Hitomi name, and a marvellous wife."

I wouldn't make a fine or marvellous anything.

You're an idiot, Kagewaki. You're going to get hurt so much.

"The excitement looks like it's done you some good. You didn't so much as flinch as you stood. How are your joints feeling? Sit and let me examine you." I gestured back to his futon and he sat obediently. If I could stay in a medical mindset, for now I could pretend everything was okay, everything was back to how it was ereyesterday. When everything was more simple.

When I left Kagewaki later that night, I felt a little lighter. He was a calming person to be around, even when guilt weighed heavy on my mind. The more time I spent in his presence, the more comfortable I felt with him again. It wasn't long before we were chatting and laughing as we usually did. We spoke late into the night, and shared a few stolen kisses that I refused to allow to pass just kisses no matter the way his hand wandered and slid over my form.

I was exhausted by the time I reached my room.

Of course, the night wasn't destined to end in my favour.

Lounging on my futon, which he must have spread out himself as I'd packed it away as I did every morning before I left to see Kagewaki, looking for all the world like he belonged there, was Naraku, baboon pelts and all. He toyed idly with a very familiar dark pink sash that I hadn't been able to find this morning in the music room. So he'd taken it. Ass.

"I hear congratulations are in order, Lady Hitomi." The subtle mocking his voice usually had was blatant now, curling through the air in acrid glee.

Tired and patience fraying, I didn't have the patience to deal with this confrontation right now. "What are you doing here, Naraku?" I didn't want him here. I wanted to keep as far away from him as I could.

The sash swished and danced between his hands, like a ribbon in a breeze. It was almost mesmerising to watch.

"To offer my congratulations, of course." He chuckled, low and deep. "Or is it condolences? You had planned to return to your family after healing your Lord husband, did you not? I suppose now, it won't be so easy." Like Kagewaki, Naraku had taken to the new titles far too quickly for my liking.

Giving a deep sigh, knowing that shooing him away would achieve nothing, I strode towards the chest of kimonos and flicked it open. I threw the folded purple haori I'd put in there this morning at him, then pulled out Kagewaki's silk yukata, laying it over the lid of the chest. I wasn't planning to undress in front of him, that would give him too many ideas, but it was a clear sign that I was ready for him to leave.

A sign that he willfully chose to ignore.

I reached up to pull the pen out of my hair and shake it out. It tumbled down around me in waves, alleviating some of the headache that tormented me throughout the day. I needed to stop keeping my hair up for such long periods.

"What are you really doing here, Naraku?"

Pink flashed across my vision, and the silk sash pressed against my throat, held taught between his hands. My breath caught in my throat, something hot and exciting settled in the pit of my belly. "To return this," he crooned in my ear. The silk slid along my throat in a move I didn't want to admit was sensual, but with his body pressed against my back, my mind was supplying details I did not want.

Trying to make quick work of the interaction, and distract myself from feeling his body, I grabbed the sash and pulled it away from my throat. "And you've returned it."

"Not quite yet." He pulled on one end, and it slid from my hand, back in his possession. He teased the back of my neck with it, tormenting me. "Such a little thing has so much weight to it, wouldn't you agree? A gift from your Lord husband, kind and sweet. In his hands, a promise, fulfilment of duties. In mine, a noose. Proof of your infidelity against him. The day your courtship is announced." The sash found it's way back around my throat, cool and torturous as it caressed my skin. "A scandal in the making."

"Do you have an objective here, Naraku? Or are you just tormenting me before you have me killed?" I turned so we were facing each other, so close again that the mask almost touched my nose. Memories of the last time we were so close came unbidden. His hands, his lips, his tongue, all hot, all talented. "My choices are pretty fucking limited. Either I admit we fucked, and I get killed, or you tell them yourself and I get slaughtered."

I'd done plenty of thinking about those potential conversations while I was sat in Naoko's room. With prostitution so common in this time period, I wasn't so sure that I would be lynched if they found out I wasn't a virgin - something that had been taken care of at one of Tomo's parties at sixteen - but knowing what Nagasaki Hitomi was after, I doubted I would get away unscathed. Coming clean as not a virgin wasn't something I was inclined to do at any rate. Admitting that I'd had sex while I'd been here in the castle was almost surely a death sentence for me. It wouldn't end well for me if I admitted it. It'd be worse if someone else came forward with the information. Naraku, I could see all too clearly, could whisper the information in Nagasaki's ear. He could lead me to death with just a handful of words. I'd get no mercy if that option were to come to pass. To find out that I wasn't pure and I had been actively hiding illicit activities inside his own castle would send Nagasaki Hitomi into a rage that would destroy me.

I didn't trust Naraku enough to believe that if I stayed silent, then he would too. He seemed too much like a man that used everything he had knowledge of to his advantage. Was he so actively malicious that he would do that to a woman that he had no real reason for tormenting? I was no deeply emotional lover that he felt scorned by. I hadn't crossed him. I doubted I could even be of use to him if he were to blackmail me. So under the elder Hitomi's watch, I barely had any freedom to do anything that would benefit the baboon.

I just didn't know Naraku well enough to know what he would do.

"Or," he added in a purr. "There is silence. Neither of us say a word. Your secret is mine and you owe me."

That seemed too good to be true. What game was he playing now? What plan did he have building in that mind of his?

What could I possibly do, even as Kagewaki's wife, that he would have need of?

"What do I owe you?"

"A favour." The silk slid up over my eyes, blinding me. He held the makeshift blindfold tight over my eyes as he moved from my back. Lips met mine, warm and lustful. Those lips trailed a burning path from my lips to my ear. "To be determined when I have need of it."

So confident he was that I'd agree, he didn't even give me time to answer. The silk slid from my face, still in his hands, and he left, mask back in place.

I stared into the empty room long after Naraku left.

I just couldn't beat down the excitement.

I was so fucking screwed.

Info!

Ereyesterday - the day before yesterday.

Review Corner

darkvibeslover - We always love that drama. I'm pretty sure drama is what Naraku feeds on. The wedding prep is going to be beautifully messy. I can't wait to write out more of it. Especially with what else I have planned going down. It's gonna be good!

I have such a thing for manipulation and high-stakes romances. Sometimes you want the straight forward sweet kind of love that Dan gets over in ITJOTW. Sometimes you want the danger and the sex and the threat that Nori's getting. I'm not even sorry about how this is going. It's going to be dark and messy, and I'm not even sure it'll even be a true romance, but it's happening and I'm so excited for it.