Back again, and getting ever closer to the anime's plot. I'm so excited about how much drama is building at the moment, and how much more there is to come. We have so much happening in the near-future, and it's exciting to see it all coming together.

In other news, I think I'm managing to keep writing between this fic and ITJOTW pretty equal again so I might go back to my equal posting schedule again. It's nice to keep them both updating semi-regularly after so long.

Miasma

Here the power is ruthless and the truth is deaf. Here the air is filled with the miasma of sin
- Jean Racine

My feet dragged as I jumped from the veranda, down into the garden, kicking up dirt as I did so. I ignored the calls of my name behind me. I wasn't sure I could face anyone right now.

By the time I reached the treeline, I was almost hyperventilating.

My back pressed up against a tree. My hands covered my face. What was that? I was generally not a panicked person. I'd seen anxiety disorders a thousand different ways in the hospital, and not once had I ever thought I'd be overcome by something like that. I was a fucking trauma surgeon that had been sent back in time and married to a Feudal Lord like some kind of ridiculous captured princess cautionary tale. None of that was something an anxious person could handle. It wasn't something a regular person should be able to handle well. Yet I had.

But the thought of the guilt of an affair sent my mind reeling and my heartbeat pulsing and my breath stuttering in my lungs.

I let my head drop back, eyes turning up to the bright blue sky filtering through the sparse leaves above me.

"What the fuck am I doing?" I asked myself between gulps of air.

What was I doing? This place was safer than I imagined traveling on the road would be - especially with demons a very real threat - but it was still dangerous, and here I was flirting with the most dangerous situation I could imagine, with a husband I never wanted, and a Lord after my head. All I was doing right now was encouraging that danger to overwhelm me.

It was certainly overwhelming me right now.

"Are you quite alright?"

That voice was all too familiar, and a surprise to my ears. I was certain Kagewaki was bedbound today. "Kagewa- Naraku?" While it certainly looked like it was my husband stood before me, those were not my husband's eyes staring back at me as I straightened up against the tree. I had never seen Naraku without that disgusting baboon pelt on outside of private rooms. The castle gardens were far too public for his usual show. "What are you doing?"

He was out here, in public, so close to Kagewaki's very open door.

My eyes turned back in the direction of the castle, but it was just out of view. I'd walked further away from Kagewaki's room than I thought I had in my quest to find a quiet place to fall apart out in the fresh air.

A hand on my chin guided my attention back to my lover. His expression was amused above anything else. "Act like that again and I am certain your Lord Husband will start to question you."

There wasn't any threat in his tone, it was as darkly amused as it usually was, but the words alone had my metaphorical hackles rising. "I know. I know. I just-" I let out a heavy breath and tried to turn away from Naraku. He held my chin firm and kept our gazes locked. "We were all there, and my mind was- The guilt got to me, and fucking Nagasaki this morning-"

"Nagasaki?"

Damn. Word vomit was not the way I wanted to broach any issues I had with Nagasaki and the whole frustrating situation he had me tangled up in. "He doesn't like me. You know that. He's been looking for an excuse to sever my head from my neck. This is the perfect excuse." I waved my hand back and forth between us. "And any slip could let him know. It's a lot to cope with."

Naraku gave a quiet, thoughtful hum as his fingers slipped from my chin, downwards just slightly.

I sucked in a sharp breath when his hand found its way around my throat instead. I didn't want to admit how much of it was excitement rather than fear that had my heart beating faster and my palms feeling slick, but the expression on his face told me that he knew just how much I was enjoying the feeling of his hand delivering an idle threat without either of us needing to say anything. He knew my body and my reactions well by now. He'd exploited that particular enjoyment many times in the time we'd spent together.

Like all the times before it, I began to find myself in a state of blissful tunnel vision. There was just something about Naraku's presence that consumed me. It was difficult to focus on anything but him when we were alone. A mixture of sensual memories and equally sensual anticipation left me breathless as his hand squeezed my throat just a little tighter.

"Walk with me."

A beat passed before the request settled into my hazy mind. "What?"

Instead of a verbal answer, Naraku stepped back. His warm fingertips slid from my skin. I reached up to stroke my neck. I could feel the heat on my skin. He'd probably left little red marks that would fade away quickly.

He offered his arm to me.

I sized him up for a moment before slipping my arm through his. He guided me in a slow meander further into the gardens. This was... different. Naraku and I rarely spent time just meandering like this. We spent many hours together in the privacy of my room, laying together and idly chatting for the most part. That was different than this, though. Our time together was quiet and distant, usually, like we occupied the same space but only interacted when we felt like it. This seemed more deliberate than that time laid together.

"Thank you."

Naraku hummed in question, and when I looked up at him from the corner of my eye, he was already looking down at me.

"For keeping the Demon Slayers from Kagewaki," I clarified. I gave his arm a little squeeze, then sighed. "I don't like it, lying to him, but it's best for him to focus on little things and getting better."

The stress had been making him worse again, and if he got much worse, that was just another reason Nagasaki could use to try and get rid of me. I didn't want to be adding more fuel to that fire. I'd already fucked up plenty with him, and he was clearly losing patience with me.

"You don't like it?" Naraku mused, a smirk coming to his lips. "But you've become so good at it."

I scoffed, nudging him with my shoulder, trying to keep the answering little smirk from my lips. "Shut up."

He grunted, that smirk in full swing now. He fell quiet obediently, though.

I slipped from Naraku's light hold on me after a little while of blissful quiet and padded towards a beautiful weeping cherry tree up ahead. The flowers were small but beautifully bright. My fingers slid over the silky petals. "I love this garden." It was truly beautiful. Spending time in it had quickly become my favourite way to spend the day. Having company as I wandered and admired the gorgeous plants had to be one of the greatest little pleasures I had here. Back home, I rarely took the time to stop and admire the scenery. Here, there was little else I did. It was one of the few things that I could confidently say had changed for the better since my move here to the castle, to this time.

A hand appeared over my shoulder, and Naraku's other hand settled on my hip. His body pressed against mine from behind, the heat of him seeping into my back in a way that had a small moan escaping my throat. I leaned back against his firm body, watching as his fingers slipped over mine to touch the blossoms as well.

The hand on my hip pushed firmly, guiding me around so I was facing him, then pulled me close.

A little snap sounded in my ear and Naraku's hand reappeared, holding a sprig of the blossoms. He tucked it behind my ear gently.

My eyes narrowed slightly, searching his red ones. That was almost a romantic gesture. That was not what I expected from Naraku. I didn't think for a moment that he had any affection for me beyond a booty call. What was he playing at?

"What an untrusting expression." His ever-present dark amusement lined his voice as his fingertips traced my jaw.

"What are you doing?"

His answer was another amused little grunt as he leaned down.

His lips were as firm and dominating as they usually were. His grip was warm as he guided me to step backwards. My eyes slid shut and I relaxed into the feeling of him surrounding me so totally. The trunk of the weeping cherry against my back had me murmuring softly into his mouth as my hands found his broad shoulders. I gave those muscular shoulders a firm squeeze as his body pressed forwards against mine, pinning me to the tree.

Fingers slipped under the sash holding my simple kimono closed.

The sash loosened, my kimono slipped open. Cool air flowed under the fabric, rustling the thin hadajuban underneath.

My fingers slid upwards, over his neck, and up into his thick, loose hair. Not for the first time, I admired the feeling of that thick, gorgeous hair in my hands. I tugged at it, and in return, his teeth sank into my lower lip.

A moan sounded from me, that shifted into a squeal when I heard the sound of shuffling footsteps nearby. I pushed at Naraku, head whipping around to see who was so close. Naraku blessedly leaned back enough to give me some space, though his body stayed pressed against my own.

A servant, a young man carrying a sickle, was stood alongside a large flowering bush, his mouth hung open, his eyes wide.

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

What do I do? What do I do?

This was stupid. Going out for a walk in my husband's gardens with my lover. How stupid was I? I'd gotten so into the idea of taking a moment away from everything, I'd forgotten how entirely stupid an idea it was.

Naraku was good at making me forget.

Now I was going to end up dead. This servant was going to go straight to Nagasaki, and there was no way I could explain away making out with someone other than Kagewaki in such an open area. Hell, we were in a time where public affection of any style wasn't acceptable. I shouldn't have even been kissing my husband like this outside of the privacy of his room. I was sure most people were convinced that I wouldn't even touch him that enthusiastically then. An arranged marriage didn't give much room for passion.

"Uh... Lord Kagewaki," the servant yelped, dropping down on his knees and pressing his forehead into the ground.

Lord... what?

"Rise," Naraku ordered. The servant did so right away, looking nervous as he shifted his weight from side to side. "Leave my wife and I to our enjoyment of the gardens. You may return to care for it later."

"O-Of course, my Lord."

I watched the man disappear out of our sight.

What the hell had- "Oh, right."

Naraku's expression was amused again when my gaze returned to his face. My fingers stroked over his cheek and jaw like they had done plenty of times in the past, particularly when I had first seen his face without the baboon mask covering it. He looked like Kagewaki. It was funny. I had spent so much time around both men that I could see the differences in their appearances - they felt like totally different people. But not everyone had that exposure to both men, did they?

To the untrained eye, they both looked the same.

I had even thought so last night, hadn't I? Amidst the drunker haze as Kagewaki and I had shared our wedding night. With my husband looking so similar to my lover, it wasn't difficult to give Kagewaki the passion that I did. He wasn't the same as Naraku, not by a long shot, but in those steamy moments shared last night, I could forget that until Kagewaki did something so sweet that I'd have never be able to mistake the two.

A little hum sounded in the back of my throat. "It'd be so easy if you were the same person," I mused out loud.

I wouldn't be drowning in this battle of guilt, marrying one man and sleeping with the other. If they were the same, I'd have my husband and enjoy lying with him, like I did with Naraku. There would be no affair. No fear of being caught by Nagasaki.

Now that was a fantasy.

"Mayhap it would," Naraku agreed. "Should something befall your dear Lord husband, it wouldn't be such a difficult feat to convince the castle workers that he was alive and well."

The suggestion had me laughing as I pushed him back again. This time he did step back to let me slip away from the tree trunk I'd been pinned against. I rose to the tips of my toes, balancing myself with light hands on his chest. I pressed a kiss to his cheek. "What a life that could be, huh?"

Naraku was so much better suited to all things that Kagewaki struggled to do in his position, and would have to take over if Nagasaki ever fell ill himself. Naraku certainly had a better grasp of leading men and taking control. Between he and I, we were leading Kagewaki's men better than the Lord could do himself - as was natural for a council of advisers, I supposed.

But where would that leave my husband?

"Thank you for letting me live that fantasy for a moment." The second kiss I gave him was pressed to his lips, one that he returned, as he always did the kisses I gave him. I needed that moment away from things, to think of a life where things were less stressful, even if just for a few seconds. I had to face reality again, but for a few seconds, I felt better. "But I should get back to Kagewaki. I'm sure he's worried."

It was my guess that Kagewaki was the one to send Naraku out to find me.

Naraku stood in place when I stepped back, watching as I walked backwards, still looking up at him. A smile came to my face, then I turned back towards the castle, pulling the outer layer of my kimono shut again.

"A fantasy it may be, but perhaps not for much longer, Masanori." There was a clear threat there that had me turning a narrowed-eyed look at him over my shoulder as I walked away.

What was he planning?

Kagewaki was predictably worried when I got back to his rooms, after a detour to collect lunch from the kitchen. After a little tiff with the kitchen staff, I ended up walking behind two servants carrying our food to Kagewaki's room, a little purse to my lips.

I may well be a Lady now, but I certainly wasn't incapable of carrying my own food around. That was apparently not the case in many people's eyes here. Being married to a Lord apparently suddenly sapped all my strength and ability to do anything alone. Who'd have thought that was even possible?

As the servants laid out our food for us, I settled in to sit beside Kagewaki, who was quick to lay a hand on my cheek and check me over with worried brown eyes. I let him take a few moments to make sure I was okay.

"I'm fine," I assured him when the attention was too much, patting his arm gently to get him to release my cheek. "I'm fine. I just needed a minute to myself."

I don't think that answer satisfied him, but Kagewaki didn't push any more than that.

We ate in relative silence after the servents left, and when the meal was done, we both settled in to relax. Kagewaki laid down in his futon again, and I took up a position leaning against the wall by his head, looking out towards the garden. Just yesterday, I would have probably let him, and ended up in the music room to wile away my time until the evening meal, but I felt a strange sense of obligation to stay around now. That was what wives did, wasn't it? Spent their days entertaining their husbands?

"Nori?"

"Hm?" I turned my gaze from the garden, down to the top of his head. "What is it?"

"Will you come lie with me?"

Lie with him? That was a new request.

"Sure." I pushed away from the wall and crawled over to him, laying on my side, head pillowed on his arm when he shifted to accommodate me. My hand rested on his chest, and I nuzzled into his arm, enjoying the closeness of him. He didn't look down at me, but his expression was serene as he stared up at the wooden ceiling above us. "How are you feeling?"

He gave a quiet grunt.

"Kagewaki," I warned. I wasn't going to accept silence or avoidance. He should have known that by now.

Don't bullshit a doctor.

Especially when your doctor was your wife, and under threat of death if you didn't get better. I could be more insistent than any dog with a bone if he wasn't playing ball with giving me the information I needed.

"The aches are receding, but the exhaustion is stronger than ever," he relented.

That was good though. I had thought he was confining himself to his bed because his body hurt too much to move. The tiredness alone was a really good sign.

I tilted my head to press a kiss to his shoulder. "Recovery is never quick, Kagewaki. That you feel better at all so soon is a great sign. I'm sorry I can't give you an instant cure. Medicine just... It doesn't work like that." Especially not here. Homeopathic medicine was never going to give us the result of actual medicine. It would never work like that.

To distract him, I walked my fingers up his chest slowly. "Tell me something."

His warm brown eyes turned down to me. "What would you like to hear?"

"Anything. Tell me about... a dream."

"A dream?" he repeated.

"Mhmm. Have you had any lately?"

He nodded slowly, then shifted around so he was lying on his side, facing me. One large hand stroked over my cheek. "I have. Last night, I dreamed of you."

"Me?" What was he dreaming of me for? There were a thousand other things - better things - to be dreaming of than me.

"You," he confirmed. "And myself. It was a pleasant dream. If I were to believe in such things, I would say it was prophetic. We were in the garden, taking a walk along the pond. You were admiring the fish, as you were when you first saw them. Do you remember?"

"I remember you dragging me into the pond," I replied archly.

Mirth played in his eyes as his fingers dragged from my cheeks, down to stroke my lips slowly. "Our war," he recalled fondly. I recalled it just as fondly. The first time I had really joked around here in this time. The first time I could say I truly enjoyed my time here. I had almost forgotten that light-hearted feeling in the wake of all the mess that had come after it. "We were not warring in my dream. We had made peace, and created beauty."

Created beauty?

"You were large with my child."

Oh.

My hand slid from his chest, to rest over my stomach. It wasn't as flat as it had been when I first arrived here. There was a roundness to it now that I could thank a lazy noble lifestyle for. I barely did anything nowadays. I wasn't running around the hospital like I used to, or eating the same light meals I had most my life. The diet here was as carefully maintained as I could make it, but I had certainly slipped into eating more and exercising less.

Thankfully, it wasn't round with a child.

If it did become so, I was scared it wouldn't be Kagewaki's child I'd be pregnant with.

My husband's hand covered my own, and his lips pressed to my forehead. "To see you with my children would make me a happy man."

I felt more warm than scared at the thought. I had always wanted children. For as long as I can remember, I'd known I wanted to be a mother. Seeing my brother with his beautiful daughter had made that all the more real for me.

Could I have children here?

I'd always thought that when the time came, I would be having them in a hospital, with trusted doctors around. I couldn't pop down to the local hospital now when I was ready to pop. Would I be safe during childbirth?

Women had been doing it for thousands of years without hospitals.

"Kanna," I murmured.

Kagewaki hummed curiously.

"Kanna. It's what I've always wanted to call my daughter." It's a name I'd agonised over as a teen. I wanted my children to have the perfect names. Kanna was a beautiful name that I came back to every time I set out to try and find the perfect name for my future child.

"Kanna... Godless."

"Is that the meaning you think of first?" Was that really his first thought, when thinking about our potential daughter? "Our daughter won't be Godless, Kagewaki. Not with us here. I will raise her to be as gentle as her namesake, and nothing less."

Should something befall your dear Lord husband, it wouldn't be such a difficult feat to convince the castle workers that he was alive and well.

A fantasy it may be, but perhaps not for much longer.

My lips pressed together when Naraku's words came into my mind.

"What about you? Have you ever thought about what you'd name a child?" It was a two-way street. Neither one of us could take over naming children when we had them. We both needed to come to an agreement on what names were best.

I could worry about whether Naraku's threat was real in the future.

"-arrived, I gather."

"...Hm?" Had I fallen asleep? The last I could recall, Kagewaki and I were talking about how many children we wanted. I wanted three. Kagewaki wouldn't settle for any less than six. He was a mad man.

If he wanted that many, he could push them out himself.

"Yes, my Lord."

Oh. There were people here.

Now I was more aware and awake, I could feel a warm chest under my chek, rising and falling with soft breathing. It was barely laboured now. He really was improving, no matter how slow that improvement seemed. That was good.

"I fear it's this very same demon which prolongs your illness, but a number of demon slayers have been called and tonight we hope to see the last of this beast. Then I can only pray for your speedy recovery."

No no no no. No one was supposed to tell him about them.

Kagewaki's breath hitched in his chest, under my cheek.

"Demon slayers?"

Pub Quiz Corner

Kanna - The name Kanna can be written with many many different characters. The InuYasha character's name is written with the characters for God and No (or nothing), which is why Kagewaki said Godless in this chapter. Her name translates to Godless or God of Nothing. But the name can also be written with the characters for gentle attitude and peace, which gives the name the meaning of Gentleness.

Review Corner

I didn't get any reviews for the last chapter, but thank you to everyone that read it anyway!

Guys! We've officially broken into anime plot now!

This chapter was a fun one to write. Naraku's finally hinting at being a little more evil than he's shown so far. Nori still has very little idea about what's to come, but she'll figure out soon, I'm sure.