"Brienne of Tarth?"
"Brienne of Tarth."
"Seriously?! I mean, don't get me wrong, she's awesome. But I would have never foreseen that she was your other favorite character."
"I know, I told you—it's probably not what you would think!" he chuckled.
"So...aside from the fact that she's a literal badass...how come?"
He shrugged.
"The world is against her, and yet...she doesn't take any shit. She does what she wants to do—she makes it happen, end of story. She doesn't care what people will think, and...I envy that. I envy her ability to sometimes just...do what's best for her, and...not give a shit what others think. I wish I could have that mindset sometimes. I think we all wish we could have that mindset sometimes," he answered.
Oh, damn. A whole speech!
Olivia nodded. "Okay, wow. You got me. I have even more respect for her now, that's all very true."
"Mhm," he nodded. "She's...a very strong woman. Both physically and mentally. She was meant to be...a leader, and she's trying to do all of this, and…and make her own way in a field dominated by men."
"Yes! Women's rights!" Olivia exclaimed, slamming her hand down on the couch cushion.
"Absolutely!" he exclaimed, slamming his hand down right next to hers, which had her giggling. Respect, Fitz.
"Okay, okay, so...now I have another very important question," Olivia replied.
"And what's that?"
"Who's your 'Game of Thrones' crush then?"
He chuckled. "That's very important, huh?"
"It is indeed. Mostly because you know mine, and I think it's only fair that I know yours," she shrugged with a smile. "Unless it is Brienne?"
Brienne was very tall, and looked very strong. She could hold her own in a fight with anyone, Olivia was positive—she'd already seen her do it. She had pale skin and very short blonde hair that looked to be slightly wavy. Her facial features were very strongly defined, giving an overall hardness to her appearance.
"Um...well, I think Brienne could kick my ass," he chuckled, which made them both crack up.
"I admire Brienne a lot, but no, I wouldn't say...I have a 'crush' on her in that way," he finished.
"Alright, then you must tell me who. I didn't make this rule."
"Oh, you didn't? 'Cause...'cause I'm pretty sure you did just make this rule—"
"Nope—Nope, I didn't," Olivia shrugged with a laugh. He was chuckling, shaking his head at her.
"How do you even know I have one?" he asked.
"Because you've got to. At least one. Maybe even two? Three? This show is filled with beautiful people, both men and women, that makes it so easy. Come on, smiley—give it up. Humor me."
He was chuckling and blushing, scratching the side of his face.
"Alright, okay," he nodded. "I think that, um...Melisandre is pretty," he began. "Even though...well, we kind of learn something about her...much later. But anyway, her appearance right now. She's pretty."
Olivia nodded. Yeah, she could see it. Melisandre had very fair skin and dark hair, with hints of a darker red as well, but her eyes were lighter. She had wonderful cheekbones, too. She did have a rather striking appearance, she had to give Fitz that.
"So...does Melisandre's appearance...change or something?"
"Uhhh..." he chuckled. "No comment."
"What?!"
"I can't tell you what happens. You don't like spoilers, anyway."
"Okay, you're right, you're right. So…Melisandre…right now."
"Yes," he nodded. "I wouldn't say...I necessarily love her character. She's manipulative. But as far as physical appearance goes, I do think she is pretty."
"Fair enough," Olivia nodded. "Robb does some...stupid things too, so I have no room to judge anyone on this show."
"Yeah. Well…a lot of people do stupid things on this show, it's not just Robb and it's not just Melisandre. I mean…people do some…stupid, stupid shit," he nodded, which had her laughing and nodding in agreement.
She really enjoyed when he swore.
"And...there's one more. She's...she's very pretty, and very smart," he added.
"Ah yes, do go on," Olivia laughed.
"But...we haven't met her yet."
"Oh, not this again!" Olivia exclaimed.
"I'm serious! We haven't!" he laughed.
"Well, what's her name? That's not a spoiler."
"Um...Missandei."
"Ouu, okay. Let's get a good look at Missandei," she said, pulling out her phone.
"Oh, you're gonna—" he noted, looking at her phone. "Okay," he laughed nervously.
"Hmmm. Missandei. Missandei…of Naath," Olivia read.
"Yes," he nodded, peering over at her.
Olivia raised her eyebrows at the woman's picture.
She had beautiful light brown skin, with tight, dark curls that fell just above her shoulder.
She had dark, piercing eyes and pouty lips, and a very defined jawline.
There was no doubt in her mind that Missandei was beautiful.
"Damn! She's got it goin' on!" Olivia nodded. "I whole-heartedly approve, Fitz."
"Oh, well thank you," he chuckled. "I think you will like her. I don't know…what's not to like."
She raised her eyebrows at him, and he started to blush. "What?"
"Nothing, nothing. I just…I see you. I see you," she nodded.
The smile would not leave his face as he looked down at his lap shyly.
"Thank you very much for sharing this important information with me," Olivia nodded.
"Of course," he replied. "This episode's almost over. Do you…wanna call it a night, or watch one more after?"
She looked up at the clock on the wall, seeing that it was just past nine. "What do you want to do?"
"Whatever you want to do."
"That's not an answer, Fitzgerald."
"But…you asked a question and I responded, therefore...it was, indeed, my answer," he shrugged.
She put her palm up to her face, which made him chuckle quietly to himself because he knew he was testing her. Being playful, like they had grown to be with each other.
"Alright. Another won't hurt," she said.
He seemed to enjoy that answer.
"Mkay," he nodded. "Another it is."
"Hey, should I pick up K tonight?" Fitz asked, as he styled his hair the next morning.
"Yes."
"Okay," he nodded. "You have a late day today?"
"Well, obviously."
He sighed quietly. "Sorry. Just a question."
She gave him a glare and nodded. "I just have a long day today in general. I'm already dreading it. So, yes, it would be helpful if you could grab her."
"Alright," he answered simply. "I'm sure your day will go okay. It'll go fast."
She chuckled, as if that was far-fetched. "Hope so."
He hoped this conversation was over now.
He now had the information he needed from it—that he needed to pick up Karen, so he didn't need it to play out any longer.
Thankfully, it didn't. Not that he expected it to anyway.
He was just happy to get out of the bedroom, which he unfortunately shared with his wife, and go downstairs.
The thought immediately raised his spirits, because he'd get to be with Olivia again. He'd already worked out with her this morning, which had become another favorite part of his days.
Every part that involved Olivia was usually a favorite part of his day.
It was...a problem.
But it was also kind of nice. Before, the only parts of his day he really looked forward to were being with Karen. But now, he was happier much more of the time.
And he was pretty sure Olivia knew that was the case. He wasn't completely positive, but as time had gone on, he knew he'd become weaker in front of her. Weaker in the sense that he was having a harder time keeping what he was feeling under wraps.
When he was with her in front of Mellie and Karen, he never faltered, simply because he was so afraid of anyone knowing what he truly felt. It was wrong, and complicated, so that fear helped make sure he hid in front of others.
But when he and Olivia were alone with each other, he always slipped. He flirted with her, and he knew it. And he had absolutely no excuse for it.
It just happened when he was alone with her, simply because a lot of times when he was with her, he'd forget a little bit. Forget that she was noticeably younger than him. Forget why what he felt was wrong. Forget that what he wanted could never actually happen. And all of that led to him slipping up.
Although, he never truly forgot. It was in his head constantly—that he wasn't a good man for his thoughts, and that he needed to try his best to stop thinking them. But at least, when he was with her, everything was a little bit better.
She was perfect.
There was just something about her. Actually, a lot of somethings about her. How she carried herself. How kind she was. How happy she was, all the time. How caring she was—especially when it came to Karen. And that was a big thing to him, of course. How she was with Karen.
Karen loved her, and Olivia loved her back. It was so easy to see. And while Olivia was young, she didn't act like it. Or look like, it for that matter.
Collected. Intelligent. Responsible. Driven—so driven. And strong. Her emotional age in no way matched her chronological age.
Her laugh made him crave more. Her smile made him weak. Her body made him think things.
And her heart made him want her.
And he was pretty sure she knew it, and he was pretty sure she felt the same way. She was just very friendly and caring in general, so he had a hard time deciphering if it was just Olivia being Olivia, or if she was...interested. This was an area in which he didn't feel super confident.
Women.
Before now, he hadn't flirted with a woman since...well, since his attempt at flirting with Mellie, probably, and he certainly wouldn't say he was good at it. That had been much much different, though. It had been particularly odd—how he and Mellie had begun. It involved jealousy, and his now best friend, Abby.
And at that point in his life, he had not been very experienced in dating whatsoever, but Mellie had made it exceedingly clear she was interested. So that situation had been made easier for him to read and understand, despite how...odd it was.
This situation, though, was still harder for him to read.
However.
While he wasn't super confident regarding women, he certainly didn't brush off the things he thought he was feeling. He had a hard time reading things sometimes, but he also wasn't an idiot.
When they were together, he knew he felt something. He knew it. He couldn't be wrong.
It was so exceedingly there that there's no way she couldn't feel it.
The thought always made him anxious, in both a good and a bad way. Good, because he envisioned how it could be with her. Aside from everyone that would hate it. Aside from what everyone would think about it. He envisioned their relationship as something he could barely comprehend at this point. One in which an intelligent, kind, beautiful woman, actually...loved him. Loved him for who he was in his entirety. One who wanted to talk to him, and spend time with him, and be a true partner.
And the thing that made him happiest about his stupid little visions, was that that woman was Olivia. Olivia was what he envisioned. Not just any random woman who could love him. But Olivia.
She was what he wanted.
On the other hand though, the bad hand, he thought about all its consequences. He didn't want to be unfaithful, despite how god awful his marriage was. Not just because of Mellie, but because of Karen. Karen was the only reason he was married at this point. It made him feel so guilty just thinking about it. If he'd felt okay going and getting involved with any random woman, God knows he would have done it by now.
But he hadn't done that because he didn't want that. He didn't think he was that guy. He didn't want to cheat. He didn't want to break the vow he made nine years ago, because it had been a vow. And it hadn't ever been an issue before, because in those nine years, nobody had ever made him feel what he felt now.
Nobody in his entire 30 years had ever made him feel what he felt now.
He liked to think he was a good man. He really liked to think that. He liked to think he took after his dad, the greatest man he ever knew. The man who made his sweet mother the happiest woman alive, as she always said. To this day, although he was gone, she still always said that she "is" the happiest woman, because he had been her husband. He was her partner, even if he was gone now. She was still blessed to this day to have been married to him.
But lately, Fitz didn't feel like the greatest man.
And aside from hurting his family, there was Olivia to think about.
She had her whole life ahead of her, at least a little more so than he did. It felt selfish to believe, even if this was an entirely okay, normal situation, that she would want to be with someone who was significantly older than her with a daughter and a screwed up marriage under his belt. To him, that kind of felt like a waste for her. He came with...baggage.
Not to mention the fact that he was supposed to be a part of a supportive host family. Not...what he was. Not a man wanting to be with her.
He also didn't know if she really...dated. She was so focused on school, and her future career. She had it right, she really did. But he hadn't heard her speak of any sort of past boyfriend before. Not that she should have, maybe she felt uncomfortable bringing it up, and that wasn't his business, regardless. Either way, though, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable in any way.
The bad definitely seemed to outweigh the good in all of this. Mostly, it was a debate on if he wanted to explore his own feelings, or put them aside for the good of others.
And he always chose others. Always.
So he'd pretty much settled on he was wrong, and he was going to miserably have to deal with his feelings for as long as she was here and just suck it up. Nothing could happen. Nothing could come of it. He had a family. She had a life. That was that.
At least he was happy as hell when he was with her. That was a positive.
And so, he was getting ready for another one of their morning commutes, after feeding Hank some breakfast. One of the times of day he was most happy—the mornings with Olivia.
When he warmed up the car, he searched for Post Malone's most recent album that he'd released in September. He knew Olivia liked that album, he'd seen it come up on her phone when she was searching for songs to play. She picked those songs very carefully now, whenever she played her music in the car, after the whole "Headband" experience.
He looked at his watch, seeing that he was a couple minutes ahead of schedule. So he pulled the car out of the garage and drove right up next to the front door.
After grabbing his phone from his coat pocket, he sent her a quick text.
Fitz: Car's out front. All warmed up for you.
He knew she was probably a little more nervous this morning and wanted to make it go as smoothly as possible for her. She had a big presentation today that apparently was worth a huge portion of her grade. She'd been practicing for a week, even giving her presentation a few times to him in the car just so she could rehearse.
She'd also given it to Karen at home, and although Karen had no idea what Olivia's analysis of 'Lord of the Flies' meant, she was a very happy and willing audience member.
It had been pretty cute to witness.
She responded to his text.
Olivia: Okay! Thanks, I'm coming!
He waited to see her exit the front door, and then rolled down his window to talk to her.
The bass from Post Malone's "On the Road" took over his car, as he looked at her casually.
"Your ride's here, miss."
She was instantly laughing, getting in the car with the biggest smile on her face.
She had to admit, seeing a sexy man in a suit, waiting for her in a jag on the beautiful roundabout of a driveway, listening to rap. That was hot.
"Why thank you, sir," she replied gratefully. "Very kind of you."
He smiled, looking over her appearance. She was wearing a white coat, but he could tell by the dark jeans and the fancy boots she had on that she looked nice.
Her hair was half up half down, kind of a signature look of hers. She looked beautiful.
"You look nice."
"Thank you," she said nervously, putting on her seatbelt. "I applaud your music choice this morning."
"Thank you," he chuckled. "All for you. I thought it would make you happy on the way in. Get you...get you in the zone for today."
"Very thoughtful," she laughed, letting out a big sigh. "I'm...a little nervous."
"I know," he nodded. "But you'll be great. You're well-spoken, I've heard your presentation dozens of times."
"Thanks, Fitz," she blushed, as they headed to Starbucks. "Coffee on me today, right?"
"Absolutely not," he responded.
"What?!" she exclaimed. "It's Thursday, Thursdays are my day!"
"Not this Thursday. This Thursday, you are going to allow me to buy your extremely caffeinated beverage in celebration."
"Celebration of what?" she laughed.
"That you will, indeed, be great today," he said, as if it were obvious.
She was laughing again, and that made him smile. "Alright. Well, thank you, Fitz. Coffee on me tomorrow then."
"Deal," he nodded.
After a brief drive to Starbucks and then the train station, they were on their train ride into the city.
Olivia had her presentation notes synced on her phone, so she was going over those religiously on the way.
Fitz was leaving her be, knowing she was nervous. So he was reading. Right now, he was reading a book that had just recently come out, called "The Topeka School."
And Olivia, running high on caffeine and nerves, could barely keep her legs still. She didn't even realize, but she started bouncing one knee quickly as she hunched over her phone, reading her notes.
Caffeine and nerves—not always the best combination.
As Fitz was reading, he reached over and put his hand on her knee, steadying it from its very quick and chaotic bouncing.
She instantly realized why he'd done it, and looked over at him.
"Relax," he said gently, not looking away from his book.
"Sorry," she replied with a wince.
"It's okay. Trust me. I understand. Take a break, take a breath," he added.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, shutting off her phone. Taking a break and taking a breath.
She knew what she was doing. She had everything down, she knew she did.
She was just making herself unnecessarily nervous because it was her first big project and presentation at this school, and she wanted to do it right.
As she focused on getting out of her own head, she realized he was still touching her. And not only that, but his thumb was moving gently back and forth across her knee.
It felt not only supportive, but..affectionate. And he didn't even seem to realize he was doing it.
He was still reading his book, like everything was normal. Stroking her damn knee with his thumb as if that wasn't making her internally freak the fuck out.
"Thank you," she whispered to him.
"You're welcome," he nodded, looking over at her with a smile. She flashed him a smile back.
And then he seemed to finally realize what his hand was still doing. He looked down at her knee, and hesitantly pulled his hand away. Like he knew that he shouldn't have been touching her, but also, that he kind of wanted to.
"Sorry," he said quietly.
"You have absolutely no reason to be sorry," she said back.
He nodded thankfully and gave her a smile, before returning to his book.
And so, after another one of those moments, they both shrugged it off. As if it didn't happen and as if it didn't mean at least something.
He continued to read and she pulled out a book as well, knowing she didn't need to make herself nuts with her presentation notes.
After reaching Grand Central and making their way to J.P. Morgan, they said a quick goodbye before they headed their separate ways.
She bumped his fist in the chilly October air, returning the smile that he was giving to her.
"Text me."
"Always," she replied, started to walk the other way. "Have a good day, smiley."
"You too," he said, with a big smile on his face—no surprise.
She made her way to school and he entered his building, both happy to get out of the chilly wind.
Although, they knew it would only get worse as time went on. Olivia, in particular, who was used to freezing North Dakota winters. It wasn't uncommon back home to get multiple days off throughout the winter months simply because it was too dangerous to be outside even for a few minutes due to the risk of frostbite.
It would at least be a little better in New York.
When it came time for her presentation, she remembered Fitz's advice: take a break, take a breath. She cleared her mind and tried to relax, not thinking about anything but calming down. Putting the whole thing out of her mind for even just a few moments.
She wasn't normally one to be so nervous about things, she really wasn't. But this school had been her dream for years, and every grade mattered so much. Not only that, but it was getting to be time to apply early action to schools, and the entirety of this year would matter.
She couldn't slide through it or slack off—that certainly wasn't going to work. She took everything seriously, and she did things right.
And that day she knocked that project presentation out of the park. She even got an "exemplary job, Olivia," from her teacher. Who, was a bit of a hardass. But she appreciated it, knowing she was being pushed to do the best she could.
She made sure to text her mother about it, as she'd called her the previous night and they'd chatted about this presentation.
And she smiled when she got a text from Fitz around the same time.
Fitz: Well? Presentation?
Olivia: Went amazing. Thanks for all your help!
Fitz: Good work. I knew it. I had nothing to do with it—all you, Liv.
That left her smiling for the rest of the afternoon.
After a very successful day, in her opinion, she did homework with Huck just outside the gym, where she always did it. There were little sitting areas, and vending machines if you wanted something to eat or drink, so it was an optimal place to do it.
But when Fitz said she could leave whenever she was ready, she had to get ready and go.
"Alright, Huck, I gotta go," Olivia said, starting to pack up her things.
"Ugh. Okay. Wait—is there a Starbucks by J.P. Morgan?" Huck asked.
"Uh-huh. Off Madison," Olivia answered, zipping up her coat.
"Okay. Can I just walk with you? My ass needs coffee. I'm gonna have to pull an all-nighter tonight, I think, if I wanna actually do well on my biology exam tomorrow."
"Huckkkk," she groaned. "Don't pull an all-nighter, it's so bad for you!"
"Ehhhh," he shrugged, grabbing his backpack. "I haven't studied yet, I don't have a choice. I'm certainly not letting my grade drop to an A-."
"Well, perhaps if you didn't stay out with Elliot every night, you wouldn't be in this situation, now would you," she said, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Liv. There is no telling how long this thing with him's gonna last and I'm taking advantage of every second of it," Huck said, giving her a smirk.
"Well, you know, this is just a thought," she began. "I love Elliot, however...you and him could go on...homework dates or study dates instead of...hooking up in the back of his truck every chance you get."
Huck scoffed. "Well what on earth is the fun in that?"
Olivia was laughing at him. "Oh, Huck."
"Don't 'oh Huck' me," he said. "And how come you're always the voice of reason Why? Why are you so...reasonable?"
She shrugged and laughed. "I'm not sure. I'll work on that, how's that."
"Thank you," Huck laughed. "Okay. I'm ready when you are."
"Okay. Actually..." she said, eyeing the vending machine. "Wait, one sec."
"There's no way you're about to have some candy or something. Not after you've become extremely healthy and active on me," Huck replied. "By the way, again, stop being so reasonable. You're literally glowing."
"Thank you," she laughed, giving him a little pose. "I have to admit, I do already feel way better than I did in September. I feel...good."
The working out all the time was already making a difference, she could see it and feel it in her body.
"Yeah you do. You look good, too. If there weren't so many weirdos and gays at this school you'd have your pick, honey," Huck said.
"You're too kind—truly," Olivia laughed, pressing the numbers for what she was getting after inserting her money.
"Okay, seriously though, what are you getting?" Huck asked.
"These...Tropical Skittles. The light blue kind. They're Karen's favorite and they don't sell them everywhere," she said, pulling them out. "They never used to sell them here either. She'll be so happy."
"And you're so nice," Huck added, sighing. "Woman, you never cease to remind me—where are the flaws?!"
"Oh trust me, there are plenty," Olivia said with a laugh.
One being that she really liked this one married man, and for the love of God, couldn't stop it.
"Mmmhm," Huck said doubtfully.
They talked and laughed all the way to J.P. Morgan. Olivia texted Fitz when they got close, as she always did.
When they started approaching the building, Huck started commenting on Fitz.
"I'm kinda nervous to meet this King of a man. Buys you coffee all the time, lives in a rich ass town, watches 'Game of Thrones'."
Olivia laughed, trying not to be weird about it. She didn't talk all that much about Fitz to Huck, simply because she was afraid if she got to talking too much, Huck would realize she liked him a little more than she should. In fact, she didn't really talk much about him or the Grants to anyone at school, just because she felt better that way. She didn't even talk much about them to her own mother, aside from how nice they were and that they treated her very well. She just didn't want any questions raised ever, so she steered clear.
"Yeah, he's...he's cool," Olivia nodded. She inhaled sharply when she saw him turn the corner of the building, walking a little bit and spotting her. He smiled, continuing to walk to her, with one hand in his pocket and one on the strap of his briefcase.
He seemed to notice she was with someone, and that it was someone he'd never met before, so he looked a little surprised, or confused. One of the two, she couldn't tell.
"Wait," Huck whispered, as they got closer.
"What?" she whispered back.
"Is that him? The brunette dude in the navy suit?" Huck asked
"Yes," Olivia nodded.
"What in the entire fuck!" Huck exclaimed under his breath. "You're telling me I chose the dormitory option when I could have had that as an option?!"
"Oh my god, stop," she laughed.
"Wha-are you kidding me? That's Fitz? That's—oh my god, why have you never shown me a picture?!" he whispered.
This was why. She'd learned the hard way with Shawn that his appearance drew attention, and her goal was no attention revolving around the Grants. But she didn't say that, of course.
"I don't know, why would I?!" Olivia laughed back.
"Because he looks like that?! I was visualizing some fucking hip 50-year-old or something!"
"Nope," Olivia laughed. "He's...a lot younger than that."
"Oh my god. He makes me want to let straight white men have rights," Huck whispered.
"Shhhh," Olivia giggled. "For the record, though, same."
"Seriously. Oh my god. Okay. I'm cool. I'm cool," he whispered. They had almost reached him, so now Huck remained silent, not wanting Fitz to hear any of his...comments.
"Hey," Olivia finally greeted, when they got close enough for him to hear.
"Hey," he greeted back.
"This is my friend Huck," Olivia said gesturing to Huck. "He just walked with me, and then is...on the hunt for a Starbucks!"
"Oh, awesome, hey Huck. Nice to meet you," Fitz said, reaching his hand out to him. "I've heard a lot about you."
"Nice to meet you...sir," Huck replied—very stumbly. "I've heard a lot about you too!"
"There's um...there's a Starbucks just around the corner, off Madison," Fitz informed him.
"Right, yes, thanks, Olivia told me the same thing," Huck nodded. "Well, I'll let you two head home, and get out of the cold. It was nice to meet you!"
"Yeah, great to meet you," Fitz nodded.
"See you tomorrow, Liv!" Huck exclaimed.
"Yeah, see you Huck," Olivia smiled, giving him a wave.
As she and Fitz turned to walk the opposite way, she turned around and saw Huck looking back at her. He mouthed "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god."
She had to fight back a laugh so Fitz didn't notice.
Even though she didn't want to draw a lot of attention about it, she was kind of thankful that it wasn't just her, seeing what she was seeing. That she wasn't crazy for being into someone older than her. Because so far the friends that had seen Fitz had freaked out over him just as much as she did internally on a regular basis.
"How was your day?" Olivia asked.
"It was good," he nodded. "How was yours? I'm glad your presentation went well."
"Yeah! My day was good. Really good," she nodded happily.
"Good," he smiled. "Oh...hey, those are K's favorite," he said, pointing to the skittles she was still holding.
"I know!" Olivia exclaimed. "I got them for her. They miraculously had them in the vending machine today so I grabbed some for her before Huck and I left."
"You're so sweet," he said. "She will love them."
"Thanks," Olivia blushed. "I knew she would."
He cleared his throat, looking around as they crossed the busy street. "So um...your friend. Huck. Are...you and him? Are you two..."
Oh my God, the man could barely get it out, so she saved him.
"Oh! Oh, no, no," Olivia laughed, shaking her head. "Definitely not. Huck's actually gay, so...I'm not quite his type."
Fitz's cheeks went pink as he stumbled yet again with his words. "Oh! Oh—oh, okay. Right, sorry, I didn't know that."
She felt as though there was almost a sense of...relief in his voice, at the fact that Huck was gay and they weren't a thing.
"Yeah," Olivia nodded. "I haven't...really had anything with anyone since last year. With...my ex."
She felt a little self-conscious talking about it, but at this point, they knew each other very well, and it was easier.
He turned to her and nodded. And here it was. The mention of a past boyfriend.
"Was it...serious?"
She nodded. "I don't know if serious is the right word, but...I did really like him. We were together for almost a year, till about the middle of last year."
He nodded, as they continued their walk, just about entering Grand Central.
"What happened?" he asked.
"He...moved away," Olivia nodded. "California, actually. He's got a girlfriend there now, and everything. I'm happy for him."
Fitz gave her a reassuring look. "I'm sorry."
"Oh, no, it's fine. Believe me, I'm over it now. We ended on totally fine terms. We just...didn't want to do long distance. And he was a nice guy, so...I really do hope he's happy."
"That's very sweet of you, Olivia," Fitz said.
Olivia shrugged and smiled.
"Well, thank you for telling me. I'm sure it's not easy to talk about," he nodded.
"It's okay," she replied. "You're easy to talk to."
That made him smile. "Thanks."
"Mhm."
He cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So um, we've gotta grab Karen on our way back, if that's okay."
"Of course!" Olivia nodded. "I am always okay with that."
"I think she likes it better when you're with to pick her up," he chuckled.
"That's so sweet. She's so sweet," Olivia smiled.
"She is," he nodded happily.
So just a train ride later, they had some time to kill before heading to Karen's school. Not too much, but some.
So they waited a little bit in the parking lot of the train station, and then had to wait about fifteen minutes more by the time they got to Karen's school.
It was dark outside, and the parking lot was almost empty, save for a few cars here and there. People hadn't yet arrived to pick up their children, so it felt like they were kind of a lone car at that point.
They had Fitz's music on now, rather than Olivia's that they'd had on this morning.
Talking to him, with his music on in the background, had become one of Olivia's happy places. A time when she didn't think about much else except him.
Just being with him.
And then a song came on, one that she may have heard before, but she just didn't know. His music library was huge, and it played a variety every day.
It was another by Gavin DeGraw. And the lyrics kind of made her think about Fitz.
It was about feeling a connection with someone right from the beginning, and acting on it.
I don't care where we sleep tonight,
I don't care if it's in or outside,
You know what to do,
Make a move
Her eyes widened, not looking over at him. But still knowing that they'd been sitting in a comfortable silence for a while, and that he was listening to the same lyrics she was right now.
You could throw away your phone,
Make believe that we're all alone,
I'm talking to you,
Make a move, 'cause I'm ready
Okay—Gavin DeGraw, could you not?
It was making her really think. She looked over at him, which caused him to look over at her, too. Like he'd been waiting for her to look first.
Sometimes she wished the song lyrics were true for them. Sometimes she really wished they could just be alone. Really alone.
Not in the basement just below where his wife and daughter were. Not just during their busy commutes. Not just in a car, waiting to pick up Karen.
Truly alone, with no obligations and no interruptions.
She wondered what would happen if that were truly the case. She wondered if he wanted it too.
She knew she shouldn't think about it. But she was, very much so.
It didn't help that the freaking song continued to play, and they continued to stare at each other.
She wanted to make a move, she truly did. Despite everything in her being that was telling her not to do it, she wanted to kiss him in that moment.
Their arms were touching on the center console, and so were the sides of their hands. They weren't that far apart.
She looked from his eyes to his lips, and saw a conflicted look on his face. She didn't know whether or not he was thinking what she was thinking too, but she desperately hoped that he was.
She was going to do it.
He reached for his seatbelt to unbuckle it, and it made her heart about leap out of her chest. She had already taken hers off, so when she watched him take off his, she wondered why he was doing it.
And it became clear, because he started to lean closer.
Her heart was pounding in her chest as she started to lean toward him. It was slow, and she swore she thought about chickening out at least eight times in the span of two seconds.
Not because she truly wanted to back out, but because there would be no turning back.
But she didn't have to worry about that, because the loud sound of a car pulling in right next to his car scared the living hell out of them.
"Holy shit," he whispered, grabbing her hand on the center console.
"Oh my god," she said, squeezing his hand back, but looking next to her at the other car.
It was some random ass soccer mom, or in this case—volleyball mom, paying absolutely no attention to them. She was now parked, and both eating what looked like a wrap in one hand, and scrolling on her phone with the other.
She'd done one of those really unnecessary wide turns, and parked directly next to them for absolutely no reason. Her bright headlights were shining obnoxiously ahead, too, which had been a bit unexpected. And she clearly didn't have a care in the world about it, but in their previously silent, empty parking lot, it had scared them.
She could hear his breathing. It was fast, like he was nervous. And she understood, because her heart was still racing as she clutched onto his hand.
She knew now, that the moment had passed. And it both made her terribly sad, but slightly relieved in a way, too.
"That scared me," she whispered with a laugh.
"Me too," he chuckled. "I wish she wouldn't...you know, do three things at once while pulling in super close to my car."
"Yeah, seriously," Olivia nodded, looking over at her.
This woman literally looked as if she could care less about anything right now. And Olivia was kind of pissed at her for it. Thanks, woman.
Olivia would have thought twice about sitting there very clearly gripping this man's hand, but Fitz's windows were heavily tinted so she didn't care to pull away. After all of that, she wanted to feel his hand around hers as long as she possibly could before she knew it would have to stop.
At this point, they were both leaning toward the center console, seatbelts undone, holding on to each other's hand.
But then kids started filing out of the school, a little earlier than scheduled.
All of their parents weren't here yet, so many stayed in little clusters to talk to each other. But Karen saw the jag immediately and started heading their way.
And then a couple other cars started pulling in the parking lot too, and slowly, kids started to file out.
And so now, it was time to stop.
She eyed him and sighed quietly, forcing herself to let go of his hand. He watched her face the whole time as she slid her hand out of his. He looked down at his lap, clearing his throat as he brought his hand back to his leg.
Not long after, Karen opened the back door, greeting them happily.
"Hi dad! Hi Liv!"
"Hey, sweetheart!" Fitz said, smiling back at her.
"Hey, K!" Olivia added.
"How was volleyball?" he asked.
"Fun," she nodded.
"Good. And how about the rest of your day?" Fitz asked.
She shoved her bags forward, then got in and shut the door. "It was good. I forgot my lunch this morning so I had spaghetti from the cafeteria. It wasn't like your spaghetti."
Olivia was smiling and so was Fitz. She was so cute.
"Oh, it wasn't huh?" Fitz asked.
"No," she shook her head.
"Well, we'll have to make up for that next time you're feeling like spaghetti. How's that," he said.
"Mkay," she nodded happily.
"Alright. Seatbelt on?" he asked, buckling his.
"Seatbelt on," she nodded, clicking it in place.
"Liv? Seatbelt on?" Karen asked.
Olivia grabbed hers and buckled it. "Yes, ma'am!"
Fitz smiled over at Olivia and put the car in drive.
And so, their moments in the car had officially ended. But they had certainly been a first.
They went back home and Fitz got started on dinner. Karen went to practice her piano, so Olivia went with her, listening to her and encouraging her. She couldn't play, herself, but she still supported her as best she could. Mellie or Fitz would probably have to truly help her out later. Hank lay at their feet, too, intrigued with the sounds of the piano.
He was such a funny dog.
Mellie got home just before dinner was ready. When they all gathered in the dining room, it was clear Mellie was stressed from work. But of course, Olivia could tell she was trying to appear normal.
"Baby, could you pass those, please," Mellie asked, referring to the homemade mashed potatoes Fitz had whipped up.
Fitz nodded mindlessly, passing her the bowl, while Olivia internally cringed at Mellie calling him "baby." She internally cringed every time she said it now, but didn't show a thing outwardly, of course.
She never did. She was great at hiding her jealousy in front of the family. Jealousy was exactly what it was.
And that evening was no different than any other time she had to hide it. But they all had a good chat over dinner, as they usually did.
After cleaning up the kitchen, Olivia did some of her own homework, while Mellie helped Karen with her piano again. And later, Olivia went upstairs to help Karen with some of her homework, too, upon her request.
As the night went on, she knew she and Fitz weren't going to have the chance to watch "Game of Thrones" that night because they were both pretty busy with work and homework.
Olivia smiled, seeing Karen happily eat her Tropical Skittles as she periodically checked in with Olivia to make sure she was doing her problems right. Every once in a while, she helped her with her math, but for the most part, Fitz tended to help her with that, if she needed it.
Tonight, Olivia was helping her with her science homework. And she had to admit, the level of earth science that Karen was taking was very impressive for a ten-year-old. She wasn't necessarily surprised, based on the amazing private school that she went to. But it was still impressive.
It got to be pretty late. And once Karen had gotten ready for bed, and Olivia had happily agreed to sing a few songs for her, she eventually fell asleep, next to Olivia in her bed.
And Olivia didn't even realize that she, herself, was so tired. But very soon after Karen, she drifted off into sleep, too.
Fitz trudged upstairs after letting Hank out to the bathroom one more time. He reached the top, seeing that Karen's door was shut. He figured Olivia had gone downstairs for the night and his daughter was asleep.
He felt guilty, and wished he had come upstairs earlier to say goodnight to her while he was immersed in his work. But he also knew she'd been with Olivia for a good portion of the evening, and that made her immensely happy. And it made him immensely happy too. It made him smile, knowing she looked up to Olivia a great deal, and that Olivia cared for her so much.
He entered his bedroom tiredly, knowing that Mellie had come upstairs a little bit ago.
He shut the door, excited to just take a shower and go to sleep.
But that's not what Mellie had in mind.
She came out from the bathroom in her robe, letting her hair out of her bun.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey," he greeted back, going to plug in his phone.
A genuine greeting? Wow.
She came up being him, running her hands down his chest.
He instantly froze. Ah. That was the reason for the genuine greeting.
"Mell," he said, looking down.
"Yes?" she asked.
"I'm tired."
"You've said that the last times, too."
"I'm just not in the mood," he replied.
"Oh come on," she said, reaching down to run her hand over him through his shorts.
"Last time, it was 'raincheck'. This time it's you're 'not in the mood'?" she asked. "I'll do all the work, okay? Please. I just...it's been a really long day, and it's been forever."
He started to turn around to face her so he could gently grab her arm. But that didn't work at all, because she nudged him back on the bed as soon as he turned.
"I don't—oof!"
The back of his knees had hit the edge of the bed, and he was now laying there, looking up at her as she started to undo her robe.
He sighed, putting his palm to his face and rubbing his temples. He could still feel himself soft before her, and the thought made him panic, hoping that she wouldn't wonder why after she'd been touching him this long already.
It was the first time in his entire life that he felt conflicted. About having sex with his own wife.
He couldn't explain what was going through his head, only that it felt wrong, in a way. Before, it hadn't felt wrong because there was only one reason—to get off, and there was nothing else stopping him.
But now, there was someone else. There was someone else he was thinking about, and this didn't feel worth it just to get off. It was all just...complicated.
But the problem was Mellie didn't know any of that, and it was his problem. This was his problem that he had to figure out, only he didn't know how. And he didn't know what to do. He truly didn't. But the panic was rising in him.
He had turned her down the last couple times she'd asked, and he could barely get it up right now, thinking of having sex with her, especially when there was actually a true reason that he didn't want to. And he was afraid she'd start to question these things. Question why he was being this way. Because in the past, they would have just had sex by now. Even though it happened pretty infrequently, him making up excuses multiple different times still wasn't the norm. He didn't know if she would possibly think to connect these things to any new changes these past months—aka Olivia, but Mellie wasn't an idiot.
This was all becoming so real—his feelings for Olivia, the fact that she had this much of an effect on him that he was having such trouble in this situation right now. It scared him. This all scared him. He felt confused, and nervous, and guilty for various reasons, and he had no idea what to do about any of it.
So he took the easy route. One he knew he would regret. But one that gave him some more time to figure out what he wanted to do, and didn't subject himself to any questioning.
He sat up, and let her pull his shirt over his head.
Now that she truly could see he was willing, she stopped with the lollygagging and pulled down his shorts and boxers.
He had to fight hard not to let his guard down. Not to show his disinterest anymore than he had already shown it. It took insane concentration for him to be able to...make it work.
He couldn't remember when she had taken off her robe. Or when she had sunk down on top of him. Or when either of them had finished. He couldn't even remember. He wasn't paying attention to any of that.
There was only one thing he knew when it was all over.
He'd only had one person on his mind, and it sure as hell was not his wife.
Olivia woke up next to Karen, and took a minute to realize that she'd fallen asleep upstairs in her room.
Looking down at the sweet little girl, all she could see was Fitz in her. She was truly his mini-me, and it made Olivia smile. She looked so peaceful sleeping there. So gentle. Just like her dad.
Olivia leaned over and pressed a kiss to her curly head, and slipped out of her bedroom, closing the door again quietly behind her.
It was late—she could already tell, just by the lighting in the house. The hallway light was dimmed, and she could tell that the lights downstairs were off, which meant Fitz was in bed.
But as she walked past their room, she noticed that his and Mellie's lights appeared to be somewhat dimmed as well. A lamp was on, maybe. Clearly, they weren't asleep.
Curiosity got the best of her, wondering what they talked about behind closed doors—if anything. Based on what Karen had told her and what she'd noticed herself, she would guess it wasn't much. But she slowed down as she reached their door anyway, being way too nosy for her own good. She knew it.
And she paid the price for slowing down and actively listening. She immediately wished she hadn't.
It was quiet, it wasn't obnoxious or loud. But it was audible enough, passing by the bedroom, that she heard, and knew what it was.
Panting.
A woman's breathing, more audible than a man's. But no matter what, she knew what was going on in that bedroom.
And she wanted to throw up, or cry, or scream. Maybe a combination of all of them, she didn't even know.
She quickly but quietly made her way down the hallway and down the stairs. As fast as she could, but not wanting to alert them that someone was up.
As she made her way down to the basement, she felt a lump in her throat, and the hot tears threatening to spill out.
She knew she didn't have a right to even feel the way she felt. She didn't have a right to be jealous, or upset, or sad. They were husband and wife. They were married, and this was their home she was staying in. This was their life she'd intruded on. Of course, they were going to have sex. In theory, it shouldn't have surprised her.
But she had to admit, it did. She hadn't been expecting that at all, and she wished so desperately that she hadn't fallen asleep upstairs, or listened as she passed their bedroom door.
She felt stupid. So stupid. For being naive. For thinking there was anything at all between her and this married man that she shouldn't be into in the first place. For believing that there were hints she was picking up on. For completely reading the signs wrong.
But most of all, whether she had a right to or not, she felt hurt.
Alrightttt. YIKES. I did warn you all, this would be messy. This situation is the definition of messy. Soooo many things going on and so many feelings making them do things.
However, no need to worry. It will all be okay, I assure you. They will learn and find their way through the mess. Promise. Just trust me. Stay tuned for the next chapter.
Read on!
~T