It has been a hot second since I was last around these parts. A lot has happened in my life in the past... wow, nine months. I got into a relationship, and that ended pretty badly. I got very sick. Sick enough that I'm awaiting an operation to, hopefully, help fix what's making me this bad. There's no news on when that operation is, and honestly, I'm expecting attempts to talk me out of the operation to happen, so it's going to be a bit of a battle. There's been a lot of sickness in my family, as well - my mom had a cancer scare, and my nan was rushed into hospital. And, just recently, I caught covid, after two years of managing to avoid it. It's been a lot.

And, because of that, and what's still ahead of me, I can't promise that I'll be able to keep up writing chapters at the moment. I'll flit in and out as and when I can. My focus, I think, will be Catch The Rain or Perfidious, because those two are the two I'm most confident about the direction they're going in. This story, though, is a passion project, so I'll be flitting in and out as I can between writing the other two. In The Jaws Of The Wolf will also get sporadic updates. I'm just going to be working as I can, rather than making promises.

Thank you for reading that, and thank you for your patience.

Enjoy!

Miasma

Here the power is ruthless and the truth is deaf. Here the air is filled with the miasma of sin. Sinning with him is a pleasure I hadn't known I needed
-Jean Racine

Grief was a difficult emotion to watch unfold. It was so raw, and so very strongly avoided, and yet it was an emotion we as people saw more than we ever thought as wide-eyed children that we ever would experience. Any person we passed on the street had experienced grief in some form. No one was safe from its clutches, whether it was little pricks that bought a mood down, or deep cuts rending through our souls and tearing us apart.

A child could grieve a broken toy, or a meal lost after being sent to bed early.

A wife could grieve her husband not coming back from the war.

Kagewaki grieved his mother, lost to him in his youth, and still held closely even after her passing. He grieved his father in quiet moments when he thought no one watched him, staring out into the gardens and sipping the same saké his father favoured.

I grieved my father, lost to me at such an influential age, when I needed him the most. I grieved my mother and siblings, knowing that though they were home safe, I was not, and I likely never would be again. I wouldn't ever get to see my family's faces again, or feel their arms around me. They were lost to me just as much as my father was.

Kagewaki and I grieved our losses, but we did not do it openly. Neither of us wept to the other of lost family and melancholy memories that twisted our stomachs. We handled our sadness silently, with a practiced decorum that allowed us to go on with our days, even in times that we felt like we couldn't. We handled our grief privately.

Some people could not handle theirs so privately.

Seeing that open brokenness in someone made my own stomach twist, like I was experiencing that pain myself.

Kagewaki's hand gripped my shoulder, silently reciprocating the pity that must have been clear on my face, as the two of us stood back at the edge of Kagewaki's garden, listening to the heart-wrenching sobs coming from the broken woman before us.

When Sango had asked me to join her to visit her grave, I had agreed immediately. I'd had to reign her determination to see them that very second in, while I finished checking her wounds, and clipping the stitches that needed clipping. Her wounds were not perfectly healed, but most were doing well. Too well, I noticed oddly, as I'd cleaned and rebandaged the wound on her spine. I'd never seen such large wounds close up so quickly before.

I'd barely finished helping her back into her borrowed kosode when she dragged me up and out of the castle. Kagewaki was already out in the gardens when we passed by him, and he had chosen to follow closely behind.

She'd held it together as she walked down the line of shallow graves, none marked bar little flowers laid atop the mounds of dirt. No one in the castle knew the Demon Slayers well enough to even identify their bodies. There were no names, nothing that could mark each person as who they were. Not even Sango would know who was under each mound of dirt.

There was one grave, though, among the others, that was easy to identify. Smaller than the others, set beside an uneven patch of dirt that had once also been a grave. Sango's grave.

It was stood in front of this smaller grave that she had broken.

Her sobs were loud and wretched, full of the pain she had been trying to hide in the week she had been here.

Neither Kagewaki or I stepped in to try and comfort or calm her. It was difficult to watch, but she needed this. She needed to let go and feel all of this emotion. I was here, we were here, to ground her when she needed it.

And we were, when her sobs softened to hiccups and sniffled, then silenced entirely. We were there to help her off the ground and wipe her tears. And we were both here when she spoke again, voice cracked and thick, but no less easy to understand than if she'd spoken her words loudly and clearly. "I will find InuYasha and kill him."

Naraku had been easy for Kagewaki to summon as I helped Sango wrangle together the few effects she owned in the castle.

"You don't have to do this yet," I reminded her, for perhaps the dozenth time as I watched her lay out her dinged and dented armour across the floor, taking stock of each piece and its condition. I saw myself in her expression. I'd often laid out my training armour in much the same way at home. My brother often joked that I'd looked like I was getting ready for war when I did that. We'd laughed about how silly it was at the time.

But I had never thought war was an option. It had been funny to even joke about it when I was in that position.

This girl truly was going off to fight her own war.

I saw no humour in this situation.

"You're not healed yet," I insisted.

She didn't look up from the shin guard she had in her lap. There was a crack in the pink finish. Her thumbs pressed against the crack, testing the integrity. It creaked but held up under the pressure. "If I can stand, I can fight."

That was not the mentality she should have. It was a familiar mentality. More than once I'd thought the same thing. Granted, in less dire circumstances than the ones Sango was facing right now.

"I could put an end to this." The words sounded weak, even to my own ears. I knew I was fighting a losing battle. "Stop you and have you heal the way you should."

There was a lot I could do, but this girl's determination was too strong. I could see it in her eyes. Sango was going to go after that demon, even if she had to cut down everyone in this castle to do it. It was safer to send someone with her than to try and stop her, no matter how much I wanted to be able to stop her. I knew my own limits.

It still left a pit in my stomach.

One that wouldn't shift as Sango and I traversed the halls. It didn't shift as a horse was laden with supplies, and Naraku was given his strict orders to look after the girl. It didn't shift as Sango bid her farewells, nor as I watched the two of them leave the castle grounds.

"She is a strong girl," Kagewaki assured as my patient and our adviser disappeared into the shadows of the trees. "All will be well."

All will be well...

Why didn't I think that was the case?

The pit in my stomach just wouldn't leave, and my eyes just couldn't stray from the place Sango had disappeared into the foliage that surrounded the castle.

"Masanori." My husband's voice was insistent as he called my name. His hands found my shoulders, giving me a slight shake to try and drag me from my thoughts. "Masano-"

"M'lord?" a hesitant voice cut in.

My eyes dragged from the forest, to settle on one of the maids, prostrated at Kagewaki's feet.

"M'lord, you are needed. Lord Mori is waiting on you to join him."

Lord Mori...

Shit. I remembered now. Some semi-local Lord looking for help from the Hitomi clan to further his exploits and scrape his way higher up the local food chain. I'd already figured out relatively quickly that of all the local Lords, the Hitomi's were the strongest and most influential. Many smaller Lords came to try their hand at gaining some small part of the Hitomi's help.

Nagasaki, of course, had been the one to deal with that until recently.

Likely, this Lord Mori was expecting the late Lord.

He was sure to be disappointed.

"Let's not keep him waiting, dear husband," I murmured, side-stepping the prostrated maid to make my way to the room all these stupid matters were hosted in. The sooner it was dealt with, the sooner I could go back to fretting.

No rest for the wicked in this damned place.

I was truly exhausted by the time Kagewaki steered me to our shared room.

My fingers fumbled with the ties of the many layers I was wearing, and I almost gave up halfway through undressing. I would never understand how some people loved this fashion. It was pretty, but there were so many layers. So many ties.

What I wouldn't give for the days of loose tshirts and yoga pants again.

My clothing, like Kagewaki's, was left in a pile on the floor for someone else with a lot more patience to deal with.

Idly, with thoughts borne of intense tiredness, I wondered if I could get a lady in waiting whose sole job was to dress and undress me so I didn't have to deal with it all by myself most mornings. It was a thought that died quickly as I crawled into the futon my husband was already laying in.

His skin was cool beneath my cheek as I laid my head on his chest and cuddled up close. His fingers were carding through my hair before I had even started to relax. The idle stroking was definitely enough to have me relaxing against him, melting almost bonelessly into his thin form. I needed this. The quiet company of another person after a hard day.

This was not the body that usually provided me that comfort, even with its intense similarities, but if I closed my eyes, and imagined hard enough, then it was Naraku's strong fingers playing through my hair, not Kagewaki's. It was his deep, appreciative hum sounding in my ear.

"You did well today," I murmured into my husband's chest.

I'd been worried about Kagewaki's ability to take on his father's duties. Of course I had. He always seemed so delicate. That sort of personality wasn't made for dealing with politics. It was too soft, too gentle. I thought Kagewaki would be eaten alive by the first person he'd have to deal with in a political manner. He'd surprised me, though. He was gentle, yes, but he was patient. That patience was something that worked well in his favour. While others got heated, Kagewaki considered the situation.

He'd handled Mori well, and managed to shoot him down graciously when Mori took offense to Kagewaki asking me for my opinion on the matter.

It had impressed me greatly. He had impressed me greatly.

It made me feel less worried about our future. I had been stressing myself out about taking on all of my husband's new duties to make sure the castle run as smoothly as it possibly could with such a sudden overhaul.

Kagewaki had stepped up in a way I hadn't expected of him, and it really made me reconsider how much he could actually achieve by himself. I'd underestimated him, and not for the first time. He could do more than I gave him credit for and I really had to start checking myself before deciding he couldn't handle something in the future.

"And you, my wife," he returned quietly, blunt nails scratching the back of my scalp.

I groaned softly, head flopping forwards. "Oh, that feels so good."

I was only vaguely aware of his low chuckle and his cock swelling against my stomach as I reveled in the feeling of his fingers against my scalp. That was the best feeling in the world. Nothing could compare.

His hands were firm as they guided me to lay on my back. A pleased little sigh escaped me as I sprawled out for him.

His lips found my throat, his hands stroked my sides.

My back arched, my head fell back, giving him the space to explore and enjoy. My eyelashes fluttered, eyes opening in the dim room as my fingers weaved through thick wavy hair, holding the man above me closer to me.

"Naraku," I breathed.

Review Corner

No reviews on chapters nineteen or twenty. Where are you guys? I miss talking to my readers

It was difficult writing this chapter. Particularly the start. As someone that has lost so many people, that sort of grief is hard to put into words. Both the silent pain of Nori, and the open pain Sango showed. Losing people and having to face that is so painful. It definitely made me feel closer to Sango, too. While I love everyone in the Inutachi, I've never really felt deeply connected to Sango or Miroku. It's funny that it isnt until I write out these additional bits to these characters that I realise how deeply their emotions can affect me, and how much I really do appreciate their characters and what they go through in these stories.

Yeah, Bee is a sappy empath that gets hurt by fictional characters. Moving on.

What's going on here then? Nori, what did you just do?

Guess what? You gotta wait to find out what's going on here. Love you all, please don't murder me.

It felt so good getting back into writing again, and Im excited to keep going, if I have the time and energy to. I hope you all enjoy what I can manage, as well. Next will either be a chapter in Chase The Rain or Perfidious. I couldn't tell you which one right now, but it'll be one of them.