"Have lots of fun at your girl's weekend, okay?" Olivia asked.
"Okay," Karen nodded with a smile. "I wish you could have come this time. Our Christmas one is the best."
"I bet it is!" Olivia exclaimed. "I wish I could have too. Unfortunately, I just leave to go home right in the middle of the weekend!"
"Yeah," Karen nodded sadly. "At least you got your Christmas present early," she said, with the biggest smile.
Olivia gasped. "Yes, I did. And I love them! I will always think of all of you when I listen to music with them."
"Good," Karen giggled. "And...we got ours early too!"
"You sure did! I hope you love yours," Olivia smiled, rubbing her soft little hand.
"I do!" Karen nodded. "I'm already figuring out how to program my robot. And my mom and dad say I can open my microscope kit after girl's weekend when we have more time to go through all the pieces and put it together."
"Perfect! I'm so glad you love it. You'll have to send me pictures, okay? I want to know all the crazy weird stuff you're looking at through there," Olivia laughed.
"I will," Karen replied. "I can't wait!"
"Good," Olivia smiled. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you," Karen said sadly, sitting up immediately. She wrapped her arms tightly around Olivia as they sat in her bed. "I wish you didn't have to go forever."
"It's not goodbye forever, K," Olivia assured her. "I just know we'll see each other. And remember, text, phone call, and FaceTime. We've got lots of options!"
"I know," Karen nodded into her shoulder. "Maybe when you have your own house in New York...I could come over?"
"You've got yourself a deal," Olivia smiled. "And you know, maybe you can even come to my dorm at UNIS, or NYU if I'm accepted there."
Karen gasped. "Deal!"
"Alright," Olivia laughed, pulling back from their embrace. "I love you, K."
"I love you," Karen smiled back.
Those pretty blue eyes, the exact same eyes as her dad's. Olivia would miss them. But she'd see them again.
"Now it's not goodbye...it's just goodnight," Olivia said with a smile.
Karen nodded. "Goodnight, Liv."
"Goodnight."
Olivia got up from the bed and closed her door gently, feeling immediately sad as soon as she left.
She knew it wouldn't be goodbye forever, she hadn't been lying. She knew she'd find a way to see Karen again in the future. She couldn't bear not to, she'd grown so close to her—so protective of her.
But it was also sad to be leaving her.
It was Thursday evening, and she was leaving for Christmas break on Saturday. She had to say goodbye early, however, because Karen and Mellie were going on their annual girl's weekend trip before Christmas. The one where they did last-minute Christmas shopping together, decorated Christmas cookies, and watched Christmas movies, according to Karen.
Sounded like a fun time to Olivia! But unfortunately, as she'd told Karen, she had a flight to catch on Saturday, so she'd have to have her own girl's weekend with her mother and Shawn, or something.
She'd be able to say goodbye to Mellie tomorrow morning, before they all left for the day, since Mellie and Karen were leaving immediately after Karen's school ended tomorrow.
Olivia wouldn't have been able to say goodbye tomorrow afternoon anyway, because she was going to be at a Broadway show with her friends at school, celebrating the end of their semester and the end of their finals. And for some of her friends in her friend group who wouldn't be returning for their final semester, it was also a goodbye.
They were all going straight from school to get ready at her friend Nia's dormitory, going out to a nice dinner, and then seeing "Wicked." Olivia almost knew that entire soundtrack by heart, but hadn't seen it on Broadway. She had never seen a broadway show, at least not a real one in New York City. She'd seen "off-Broadway" shows back home, but something told her those wouldn't compare to tomorrow night. She couldn't wait.
For now, she had one more evening before her last day of fall semester at UNIS, and two more evenings total before she left. She was kind of thankful Fitz was in his main level office currently, because she was able to sneak back downstairs to the basement without him seeing her almost cry about having to say goodbye to his daughter.
She only had one more final tomorrow, and it was one she couldn't exactly prepare for. A final essay, in which the prompt would be given to her in class, and she'd have 50 minutes to completely and thoroughly answer the question. They'd practiced multiple times throughout the semester, so she knew how it went. She at least got to use the book they'd just finished as a reference—"Much Ado About Nothing."
Throughout the week, she'd had four other finals so far, all of which had required a lot of studying and had caused a lot of nerves. However, she'd gotten the grade back on one of them so far, and she was extremely pleased with it. The rest she'd have to wait on yet, along with this final Literature essay.
And another important piece of news that should be coming any day now.
Over email, and through
Mail back home, too. The news of whether or not she'd been accepted to NYU.
It was December 19, and she was told it would be in December when she heard back—likely even before her winter break. So, she continued to wait patiently on that.
Tonight, though—she hadn't had many plans. She'd hung around with Karen because it was the last chance she was able to do so, and now she realized she could actually go and read for a while if she wanted. It was only 8:15, she had some of her evening left.
Fitz was working currently, so she didn't want to bother him.
Lately, she'd been really invested in "Jane Eyre," wondering how on earth she hadn't finished it the first time she attempted to read it. Once she got to about the hundredth page this time—she was hooked.
And now she was just inclined to finish it, because she was getting so close, and then she wouldn't have to basically steal Fitz's book.
Any free time she'd had in the past weeks when she wasn't studying, she'd dedicated to reading it. It wasn't a super long book—she'd read way longer ones, and she was a fast reader, to begin with.
She was also just inclined to finish it so she could tell Fitz that she had. It had been their deal after all, and she was going to keep up her end of it. He'd certainly kept up his end—making sure she was well fed with books all semester long.
And she was pretty sure that so far, "Jane Eyre" was her favorite of all of them.
So she made use of the wonderful and amazing Christmas gift the Grants had gotten her—the new AirPods, to listen to a study playlist while she read. The Grants must have seen her use her standard Apple ones that came with every iPhone. She knew Fitz, for sure, had seen her using her old headphones all the time, whether she was FaceTiming Shawn or listening to music. They hadn't been the greatest—they were old. But she made do with them before.
She was so grateful and amazed that they'd gone all out for her Christmas and going away present. They were pretty great—she loved them already. Fitz had a pair and so did Karen, so she'd tried them out before. But damn, they were nice.
They'd all exchanged presents last night so that they could be all together when they did. Olivia had gotten Karen a microscope kit and the STEM robot kit, both of which she'd immediately loved.
She'd gotten Mellie a little box with two fancy bath bombs, both a bar and a liquid soap that smelled fantastic, a candle, and a gift card to her favorite spa in Rye. She was a big spa girl, so that gift had gone over amazingly.
As for Fitz, she'd gotten him the entire "A Song of Ice and Fire" series—the series which "Game of Thrones" was based off of. It was the all-leather set, and very pretty, actually. The set itself definitely could be displayed.
He'd loved it, and that made her happy.
They didn't act very...friendly...in front of Mellie. But she'd still been able to see his eyes light up and the adoring smile he'd given her when he saw which book series it was in that box.
He was so cute.
She found herself smiling at his little handwritten notes jotted down throughout the book. They were in almost every single book he'd lent her—she figured it had been required for his English classes, just like it was for hers.
Not only was it a great study tool, but Olivia loved the look of a marked-up book. Even if she wasn't required to—she would. She had an obsession with rearranging sentences how she thought they should go, or replacing words with other words she thought would fit better. Even with all of the classic books, she still found herself doing it.
Hence her strong desire to become a book editor.
His little notes weren't quite as obnoxious as hers were. But they were always meaningful, and usually she found herself nodding along with what he had written. If she could read them, that is. His handwriting wasn't the greatest, but that only made her smile more.
As she neared the end, she was so excited to see how it ended up for the main character—Jane. It hadn't always been the happiest of books, there'd been some sad points, and ones that had downright pissed her off or annoyed her.
Jane had gone through so many different experiences, both good and bad, and toward the end of the book, it was finally working out for her.
Even after finding out earlier on that the man Jane loved so desperately was already married—she and him eventually found a way.
They'd built their relationship back up after all of the sadness, and the hardships they'd gone through. They'd found their way back from an impossible situation.
If Olivia was a crier, she definitely would have been crying by the time she neared the end, when she read that Jane and the man she loved got married, and had a child together.
Thank goodness.
Not everything that had happened in the book, not all of its themes and plot lines, had been Olivia's favorite. But that was an ending she'd been hoping for, at least.
If only every impossible, heartbreaking, sad story could turn around and end like that one.
As she scanned each word on the last page, proud of herself and very happy that she had finished, she realized she had more to read than just Charlotte Brontë's words.
There was more at the bottom of the last page, after the actual book had officially ended.
But it wasn't typed.
It was hand-written. In sloppy handwriting.
And judging from the looks of it—it was not something written for a class. It was not something written as a study tool, to remember certain thoughts about the book, or all of its themes' and analyses.
It was written for her.
She read it over and over again, wondering if she was reading it correctly.
And while the tears never came for even the happy ending of a classic novel, they began to fill her eyes now.
She understood now, why Fitz had written the note he'd written and attached to the book. Not only because he'd wanted her to actually finish the book, and fulfill her end of their little deal.
He'd wanted her to finish it for this very reason. To tell her through his own written word, what was inscribed on the bottom of that classic novel's last page.
I'm in love with you.
She exhaled shakily, running her finger over the phrase. The first half of the message was smudged slightly, from what she assumed had been his hand.
She envisioned his sweaty handwriting it, and she smiled through her now slightly blurred vision.
All she could do was stare at it. Stare, and wonder if this was some sort of dream, or what.
She'd quite literally had dreams about Fitz feeling what she felt for him. About them being together again, even though it felt impossible. It was on her mind all the time—practically the only thing she thought about aside from school.
Was this him telling her it was possible?
What he'd written was exactly what she deeply wished to tell him. But he had major things to figure out and they had agreed on their rules. This certainly skirted those rules. Very sneakily.
She would have never told him, because of all of their impossibilities.
But now he was giving her an opening.
She wiped her eyes, feeling her heart absolutely race in her chest.
"Oh...my God," she whispered, looking around her room. "Oh my God."
She put the book on her nightstand and left her room, before quickly making her way up the stairs.
The tears flowed down her face, although she wiped them away immediately.
Seriously? Stop.
But she couldn't. Not after what she just read.
She knew Mellie was still gone. She hadn't heard the garage door open yet. And Karen was asleep.
So she wasn't waiting until morning—she absolutely could not.
She reached the top of the stairs and immediately saw him in the living room, watching TV.
He was alone, as she knew he would be. The lamps were dimmed low, but the light from the TV filled the room.
He turned at the sound of her coming up the stairs, meeting her eyes immediately.
She could tell based on the look on his face that he initially thought something was wrong. She had damp eyes, so she figured that's what he assumed immediately.
Her lip began to quiver as she looked at him, almost in awe.
He was fully turned toward her now, one arm on the back of the chair and one on his thigh, looking both concerned and confused. Until she spoke up.
"I finished Jane Eyre."
Fitz's eyes widened, and he felt his heart just about leap out of his chest.
What did she just say?
He sat there, completely astonished that she'd already finished it.
He supposed for someone who liked reading and read every single day, it wasn't that long of a book. But still—he'd kind of expected her to finish it after she left New York for winter break, especially because it was finals time.
Perhaps he's failed to take into account the fact that any time she had free time—she was probably reading or sleeping.
Truly, he hadn't really "prepared" for anything. All he'd done was write down the truth. His truth. He didn't know how she'd react. He'd thought about it immensely, but he'd told himself it didn't matter how she reacted, because that had nothing to do with whether or not he was leaving. If she didn't feel the same way, she didn't feel the same way. But no matter what, he was getting out of this house.
He'd just hoped...she'd react positively to it. He certainly knew what he hoped she'd say.
And now she'd read it. She knew now.
He sat there, looking at her in awe, and slowly began to stand up.
He was nervous, but he pushed it away. He pushed it all away, and made his way toward the basement door and to her.
Without a word, he grabbed her hand and she immediately followed him down the stairs.
She studied him as they made their way to the basement.
He was utterly silent, but held her hand with a strong grip.
She squeezed it back in return, and let him lead the way. Away from where his daughter could hear. Away from everything else, to be as alone as they could be in this damn house.
She closed the door gently behind him as they entered the basement living area together.
They didn't go anywhere else from there. They stayed by the door, and he turned around to look at her.
And they stared. They just stared, still holding onto each other's hand firmly.
"So...how did you like the book?" he whispered, breaking the silence.
She looked at him as if to say "are you kidding me?" but her lips slowly spread into a smile, and she let out a sigh.
Her smile made him smile, as he looked over her pretty face.
"I didn't expect you to finish it this quickly," he admitted quietly.
"It was...a good book," she replied with a sniffle.
He nodded, swallowing nervously.
"Can I talk?" he asked. "I mean, can I say what I really want to say?"
He was hoping to disregard their normal rules about what they said aloud to each other. Which, usually meant not telling the truth, at least not when it came to this.
She closed her eyes and nodded in response.
So he talked. He didn't have any sort of speech planned. But he did have an idea of what he wanted to say to her. And probably what he should have said way before now.
"My mother always told me...when you stop short of something...you could miss something incredible," he told her.
She nodded back. "I remember. It's why...I'll always finish every book I start now."
He smiled and nodded. "Yeah."
She looked down at their hands locked together, and he looked too, readjusting his grip.
"I um...I did that with you. I stopped short with you, because I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to think about...what being with you would mean. Clearly, I couldn't handle it. I just knew...there was something there. I knew we had something," he said. "But I stopped short. We stopped short, because it was too much. It was too much, and we were thinking of other people."
She nodded slowly in response.
"But...I want to think of me, too. And I want to think of you. I want...you. I..." he sighed, looking around nervously.
"I love you," he said. "What I wrote in that book feels like an understatement. I am so in love with you—more than I even thought was possible. I don't even know how else to put it into words, I just know that...I belong to you. I'm yours, even if...you don't want to be mine."
She could feel her eyes welling up all over again, as she met his eyes.
"I want what we had, Olivia. I don't want to miss our...'incredible.' I don't want to stop short this time. I...I've got some things to take care of, clearly. And I will. I'm…I'm done feeling guilty for being in love with someone else. I'm fucking done, because this is how...I'm supposed to feel. I haven't been doing things right for…for ten years, even though I was so sure that I was," he said, shaking his head. "And...if you don't feel the same, that's okay. I...understand. I have to get out of this house either way, I just...needed you to know before you were...long gone. Even if…you don't want me, I just needed you to know that…I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through, and…I love you, Olivia. I love you."
The tears streamed down her cheeks now, as she looked up at him.
She was trying to process everything he said, which would not be possible right now. She was trying, but there were so many different things going through her head. Wondering whether or not he was serious about all of this.
All she ever dreamed about was that he'd leave Mellie to be with her. She felt like the devil for wanting something like that. For wanting to break up a married couple. Regardless of how awful their marriage was, she knew that was horrid of her.
But she did want it. Despite everything, she had wanted him from day one. That had never once changed. She hadn't ever been able to shake it—her feelings, or what she wanted.
So in a bundle of overwhelmed shocked, happiness, she collapsed her head on his chest and started to cry, because she couldn't string sentences together right now. She just couldn't. It was too much. She was sure she had never felt this emotional in her life. And not only that, she was so completely baffled that he'd just said all of that. Nobody had ever said things like that to her before. It hadn't even hit her yet—everything he'd said, but it was amazing. Every bit of it.
He immediately wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
He didn't say anything. He just comforted her, probably having no idea whether or not her tears were good, or bad, or if she was just completely overwhelmed. She was.
He didn't say anything until she said something. The only thing she could muster up at the moment, because she hadn't been sure she'd ever get to tell him, and she sure as hell wasn't going to keep it in after all of that.
"I love you too," she whispered through her tears. "I'm in love with you...too."
Fitz's breath hitched in his throat as he heard what she'd just said. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tighter around her. Holy shit.
"Oh...my God," he whispered. "I love you. I love you, Olivia."
"I love you," she cried back.
He exhaled deeply, hoping to God that this was all real, and not some sort of amazing dream.
But he could feel her shaking slightly in his arms. He could feel her tears against his shirt. He could feel it in his own heart when she told him she loved him back.
This was real.
It was something neither of them had ever experienced—being in love, or being loved back.
He pulled back, beginning to wipe the few tears from her beautiful face.
"I'm going to leave, Olivia," he whispered.
She looked up at him and sniffled, allowing him to wipe her tears away.
"I'm done. I'm done with this…joke of a marriage. I don't know…how difficult it's going to be. I don't know how long it's going to take me. We've been married…a long time, and I don't expect that to be undone in a matter of weeks, or anything. And…there's a lot I have to take into account. With Karen, especially. She's...she's all I care about with that. There's just a lot that will...go into it, I think. But…I've already been having conversations with Mellie. They haven't been much, but they've been progress."
She looked completely surprised at that, which he could have predicted. She didn't know a single thing about the conversation he had with Karen, or the ones he'd had with Mellie, or the fact that he slept on the couch every night. She didn't know, because they'd had their rules.
He had a lot to catch her up on. He looked at his watch, and knew Mellie would be home soon. He wasn't going to be able to get to everything, but he'd certainly try and get a start.
"I'm sorry, Olivia," he said again, tightening his grip around her. "It took me…far too long to realize things. You…were a big part of my realization, and…I'm sorry about that. You shouldn't have had to go through any of this for me to figure my own shit out. You shouldn't have had to...to get hurt in the process. And I understand if you don't want to be a part of this. I come with…a lot of baggage. I know that's not exactly…something someone your age should have to deal with. You deserve so much better than this."
"Stop, Fitz," she sniffled.
"No. I haven't been able to tell you what's been on my mind in forever, I just want…I want you to hear everything."
"I do hear you," she nodded, looking up at him. "I hear you. And I appreciate your apology, and your concern for me. But like I've always told you, I have never blamed you for anything. I have always been in this just as much as you, regardless of anything else. I was in it when we were together, and I was in it when we decided it was best that we stopped. I've…always been in this with you," she sniffled.
His face softened as he studied her damp eyes. But her face showed certainty.
He nodded back, giving her a very certain look of his own.
"I'm going to tell Mellie, Liv. When the time is right, I'm going to tell her. If you're…comfortable with it. If…you want to be with me," he said. "But either way...I know I have to leave."
She let out an unsteady breath and nodded, knowing that if she wanted this, he was right. Mellie was going to have to know—that couldn't be avoided forever if they were actually going to be together.
And Olivia could face that. She could face those consequences. She had to. She had known what she was getting herself into, to start with.
She nodded. "I want to be with you. I've always wanted to. But…I'm leaving, Fitz. I'm leaving in two days, and then…when I come back, I'll be in the city. How will….how are we going to…"
"I know," he nodded in response. "I know. I don't...I'm not sure what our future is going to look like. I just know...I want one. I see one...with you."
She sighed, leaning her head back against his chest.
"I see one too. I have always seen one, it's never changed for me," she whispered.
He held her body tightly, cherishing the words she spoke to him. He was sure of it now, he didn't deserve her. But here she was, confirming everything he could have possibly hoped she'd say.
"I know I have a lot to go over. I...have so much more to explain to you, and tell you. I don't want to leave you hanging—"
The sound of the garage door opening and closing, and Hank's little paws scratching the floor as he ran to greet the person who had entered interrupted their moment.
Of course.
She immediately pulled away from him, backing away from the stairwell a little bit.
He looked down at his watch, and she saw that it read 9:30. Yeah, that was about right.
"Fuck," he whispered, looking back over at her. "Tomorrow, Liv. Okay? Tomorrow, after…after your show. We can talk. We can talk about everything. Alone, no interruptions, no…no limit on time, okay?"
She nodded understandingly. "Okay...okay."
"I…I love you," he whispered, kissing the top of her hand and heading through the doorway. "I love you."
"I love you," she whispered back, watching him head up the stairs.
She could tell he didn't want to leave. He let out a sad sigh, looking back at her once more before he turned around.
He cleared his throat and made his way upstairs, composing himself before he exited her line of vision. Going back upstairs to his wife, who didn't know a thing about any of this. Back to his life where he pretended for about 80 percent of it.
But now, according to him, that was going to change.
There was so much she still didn't know, and understand. So much he had yet to explain to her.
Although, part of her wondered whether or not he even knew all the details himself. She at least wanted to know what he'd meant by "progress." As far as she knew, he was still acting his ass off with Mellie in front of Karen every day, so she wanted to understand why he now felt the way he felt. How he was going to go about things in the near future if he was really going to leave.
Lots of questions. But also, an answer for her. An answer to a question she didn't think she'd ever get to know.
That he loved her back.
Even though his side of things was much more difficult than her side was—he loved her back.
That was all she thought about for the entire rest of the night. Reading those words. Hearing those words. And everything that came after that.
That was one of the best nights of sleep she'd had in a long time.
She woke up before her alarm even went off.
And immediately after she did, she wondered if last night had been real all over again.
"Jane Eyre" sat next to her on her nightstand, reminding her that it, indeed, had been real.
She flew out of bed to get ready to work out, and she was excited.
Their relationship had been gradually getting better as time had gone on recently. It hadn't been normal, like it used to be. But every day had been better. Every day they grew a little more comfortable, and a little less awkward. He'd grown less shy with her all over again, too.
So the past month hadn't been bad by any means. But now.
Now it was a whole new ballgame. Now she was really excited to see him again.
She was excited about this whole day in general.
Only one final, one she knew she could do well on. The last day of the semester, before she'd get some time off. The broadway show she was seeing with all her friends tonight. And after that, she could be with Fitz. They could actually talk, with nothing to stop them. Mellie and Karen would be gone. They'd get to spend her last night just the two of them.
She was trying not to think about the fact that she did have to leave tomorrow. It was even worse now, that last night had happened.
But she pushed that away. She tried to make today 100 percent positive.
She was in the gym before he even came downstairs, ready to go. She was stretching when he first made his appearance, dressed in gym shorts and a tighter workout shirt that always made her want to see him shirtless yet again.
When she could see his pecs and his abs through the fabric—that was something. Yes, please.
"Hi," he greeted, shutting the door behind him.
"Hi," she greeted back, giving him a soft smile from her yoga mat.
"How are you today?"
"I'm good. I'm...I'm really good," she admitted. "How are you?"
"I'm so good," he said back, coming to sit across from her. "Happy to see you again."
"Me too," she nodded.
"Are you excited for today?" he asked. "'Wicked' is...really good, by the way."
"I'm so excited," she smiled. "Today is just...today will be a good day. And I'm not going to think about tomorrow yet."
He sighed. "No. Let's...not. I don't need to...cry, or something, let's just work out before that happens and I get embarrassed."
She started to giggle, smiling up at him.
"I prefer when you're smiley."
And just then, a smile formed on his cute face and he looked down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with her.
"See. There it is," she laughed. "I love that."
He looked up, meeting her eyes now.
"I love you."
And thus, the blushing returned.
"I love you," she replied.
He smiled at her, before letting his eyes briefly wander over her body in the workout clothes she was wearing. Showing every toned muscle, every perfect aspect of that body.
His eyes had never stopped wandering, regardless of what had happened between them. He had always deeply appreciated how beautiful she was.
But he didn't let it distract him—they had a workout to do, after all, and it was their last one together.
He cleared his throat and stood up to stretch for a second longer. "Well. Friday. You know what that means."
"Leg day," she nodded, standing up as well.
"Ready?" he asked, pulling his foot up behind him to stretch his other quad.
"Ready."
After their last workout together, came their last commute to the city together.
And in between, was Olivia and Mellie's goodbye. It was not at all emotional, like it had been with Karen or it would be with Fitz. But Olivia had a lot to thank Mellie for, regardless. And a lot to be sorry about. Mellie didn't know that yet. But she would.
And Olivia was ready for any and all consequences that would present her. She deserved every bit of it, she knew that.
If there was a way to make any of it less wrong, or hurt anyone less—she absolutely would.
The only thing she couldn't do was fall out of love with Fitzgerald Grant. She'd learned that a long time ago. And nor could he.
So although she had been feeling a range of emotions lately, particularly in the past day, she followed through with positivity, and positivity only, that day.
Her final Literature exam was almost first thing in the morning—second hour, which she was pretty sure she nailed.
After that, her day was a breeze. And it went quickly, which she would have probably been more sad about if she wasn't spending the rest of the evening with her friends.
Later after the show, Fitz was going to take the train into the city to meet her afterward, so she didn't have to come home alone on the train at such a late hour.
She'd assured him it was absolutely not necessary for him to come back into the city on a Friday night just to ride back with her, but he wouldn't hear of it.
So after her show, she'd at least have some company on the way back to Rye, thanks to that sweet guy.
But after school, she went directly to Nia's dormitory to get ready with the rest of her friend group. It was her, Nia, Huck, his boyfriend Elliot, Quinn, and Stephen.
Nia was one of their friends who wasn't staying past this semester, so it was a little sad to be getting ready all together in her little suite dorm. The last time they'd all be together.
But they made the most of it. They'd all had to bring their bags and extra clothes with them to school so that they could change and get ready before the show.
They had music going as they all took turns changing in Nia's tiny bathroom, chatting and laughing for a while before they went out to dinner.
Olivia had to admit, she looked good.
The dress she'd packed for the day was one of her favorites. She knew some people wouldn't be as dressed up as their group, but they'd decided to dress up nicely, especially because they went out to a nice restaurant beforehand.
Plus, they were celebrating.
All the girls wore dresses that were decently long, to keep somewhat warm, and heels.
Olivia's dress was a pretty maroon color, and she wore black heels with it. Her makeup was darker than she normally wore it, but very elegant. All her girl friends told her she looked fantastic. Plus Huck, who had great taste.
They all looked fantastic in Olivia's opinion. The girls' dresses were beautiful, and Stephen, Huck, and Elliot, had cleaned up wonderfully too—all in khakis and dress shirts.
All throughout the evening, she grew happy whenever she thought of Fitz seeing her in her current attire. There weren't too many occasions he had seen her so dressed up.
This dress was one of her favorites for a reason. It felt quite flattering on her.
It was long-sleeved and fitted all the way down with a leg slit, and it had a belt that tied around her petite waist. It made her look far older than she was; it was just something she felt so beautiful in.
She always enjoyed a reason to get all dressed up. And that night's reason was a blast.
Dinner was great. The show was amazing—she was pretty sure she was going to have the entire "Wicked" soundtrack stuck in her head for weeks now, which she wasn't complaining about. And she had a great time with all her friends.
It was sad when they all returned back to Nia's place to grab their backpacks and head their separate ways. They had to say goodbye to Nia for good, and to the rest of each other for winter break.
But at least they'd gotten to spend their day and evening together.
Some of her friends walked back to their dormitories, and Stephen took a cab back to the nice apartment he'd stayed at this semester, which was in the city.
He, also, was transitioning from host family to dormitory next semester, so he'd be in the same boat as Olivia would be.
Olivia texted Fitz as she walked to Grand Central, just to let him know she was getting close.
Thankfully it wasn't too chilly outside, and she didn't have all that far to walk anyway.
But she admired her surroundings on her brief walk. The city was so alive. Everyone out walking about, the bright lights, the beautiful Christmas decorations up everywhere. God, she couldn't wait to hopefully make this place home for good.
She didn't even reach Grand Central before she saw Fitz from afar. He was exiting the terminal, walking toward her with his hands in his pockets.
Staring. Oh was that man staring.
He couldn't even see her full outfit because she was wearing a dressy jacket, and he was still staring.
She was smiling as she neared him, appreciating the casual look he had going on tonight.
He was wearing a pair of khakis, and a nice button-up coat on top, over what she assumed was a casual dress shirt, based on its collar. He looked great.
"Holy...shit," he said, as soon as she could hear.
"Hi," she laughed.
He extended his hand to her, giving her the complete look over.
"Hi," he said, as she took his hand.
He studied her as he grasped her hand, like she was some sort of royalty. The look in his eyes told her that she was—to him.
"You look amazing," he said.
"Thank you!" she smiled.
"Wow," he said, shaking his head. "Wow."
"Oh, stop," she laughed, feeling herself blushing.
He smiled back, nodding at her. "You must have stopped the entire show tonight."
She didn't think the blushing could get any worse, but she proved herself wrong.
"Oh my gosh," she laughed, putting her hand up to her face.
His light chuckle only made her smile more, as he finally met her eyes.
"Did you have a good time tonight?" he asked.
"I did!" she said. "It was a great night. The show was amazing."
"Good," he smiled. "I'm happy you had a good night. How about...today? How about your Lit final?
"It went really well, I think," she nodded. "I felt confident about it."
"That's great, Liv," he said encouragingly.
"Yeah. It was good to spend my last day with my friends," she replied. "And...now, the rest of it...with you."
Pink surfaced on his cheeks as he looked up at her with a smile.
"You know...what I think we should do, on...this, your last day?" he asked.
"What?" she asked.
"Go have some dessert."
"Dessert?" she laughed.
"Yes," he nodded. "We could...we could talk. And I um...I know a place."
"Oh, do you now?" she giggled.
"Uh-uh," he said. "It's not too far. Unless you're super tired, then we can head back, I know you have a long day of travel tomorrow."
"No, I absolutely would love to go talk and have dessert," she replied. "It's my last night here for a couple weeks, I want to make it count. Let's do it."
"Okay," he said, flashing her a smile, nodding his head so she'd follow him.
He called them a cab so she didn't have to walk all the way back in the direction she'd just come from. She was pretty grateful for that, she'd been in heels since early evening and she was beginning to feel the aftermath of that.
She'd never been to the place that they went to.
It was called Ai Fiore, which was actually attached to a really nice hotel she knew of called the Langham, off of Fifth Avenue.
Fifth Avenue was where it's at.
It was so beautiful inside, and she hadn't even seen the nicer part of the hotel. But still, Ai Fiore was stunning.
They sat down in a little corner booth, and immediately could not resist the temptation of ordering cappuccinos to go with their dessert.
She was already accepting the fact that she'd just have to sleep on her flights tomorrow because she wasn't even tired now, and she was having espresso on top of it.
Oh well.
They didn't get to talking—beyond catching up on each other's days and evenings—until their dessert came.
They ordered a slice of cheesecake and tiramisu, with the plan that they'd split them.
So Olivia scooted to his side of the booth and sat next to him, trying not to show how extremely happy it made her to be close to him again. She kept it cool, even though the simple feeling of his thigh against hers made her body tingle.
And then he explained everything, as they began to eat their desserts. He explained everything she hadn't known the past few weeks. Everything that had happened, everything that had been going on in his head, everything that his friends had been giving him advice about—everything.
And that was also a lot to process.
"Wow," she said, looking down at the table.
"Yeah," he nodded. "I don't...want you to feel uncomfortable talking about it—because I can't imagine how it must make you feel to talk about this. I just
know...you also deserve to know everything."
She nodded in agreement. "I'm glad you told me. I just hope...you've been okay these past few weeks. I'm so sorry. I know I haven't exactly been there for you."
"Oh, God—Liv. No. Don't apologize about this," he shook his head. "You have...absolutely nothing to be sorry about. We had our rules, and...I didn't know where you stood because of those rules. I worried there was a chance you wanted...absolutely nothing to do with me anymore. Which, by the way—I would not blame you for."
She gasped at him and shook her head sadly, which made him chuckle.
"Oh, Fitz. If only you knew...the things I've thought about. If only you knew...how much I've missed you. Us, I should say. No matter what, no matter what's happened, no matter how hard it was. I just...wanted you back. The only thing was...I just didn't think I'd get you back. I really...didn't think so."
He looked at her sadly, and moved closer to her.
"I wanted this," she admitted, as she cut a bite of cheesecake with her fork. "I have always wanted it. Ever since the beginning. And I knew we went into it blind. We did. And after we were done, I had to remind myself how long you've been married to her. I told myself I was dumb for the things that I wanted, and selfish. Because I would never get to have you, and I should never get to have you."
He sighed sadly, putting his fork down. "I'm so sorry, Olivia. I'm so sorry for everything."
"You don't have to be," she shook her head.
"But I do," he nodded back. "I do, and I am. And I just hope you know...how badly I want you. Us. And that things are going to change. Things need to change."
She nodded and looked up at his handsome face, before continuing.
"K told me something similar to what she told you a couple weeks ago," Olivia said quietly. "She told me back when you and Mellie attended that gala in the fall."
"What? What did she say?" Fitz asked.
"It wasn't exactly the same as what she said to you. But...she said she just wasn't sure you and Mellie had fun together alone. And that...you didn't have many 'happy' talks," Olivia said, watching his face grow sad again. "I just...I wasn't sure how to...I didn't know how to tell you something like that, Fitz."
He nodded, putting his hand to his head. "I worry about how long she's thought that. I just...worry it's been far too long. I needed to hear her say it, I think. She needed...to tell me. It...hurt like hell to hear it. But I know that I needed to. I just wish...I don't know. I have regrets, Liv. I was just trying to give her...the best. I wanted her to have things I didn't. I just wanted to give her the best life. And it took me far too long to realize this isn't it. It could be better."
She put her hand on his and rubbed her thumb over his skin.
"You know Karen loves you so much. Right?" Olivia asked.
He turned to her with a smile and nodded.
"Yeah."
"Yeah," Olivia smiled. "You are...the best dad to her. The best. No matter what, that will never change."
Although she wanted to have this talk, which involved very serious topics, she also wanted to try and keep things positive. It was her last night here for a bit, and she was sticking with the attitude that she'd had all day. Positive.
He sighed, nodding at her in response.
"You are amazing."
"Me?" she asked.
"Yes. Everything you do, everything you say. You're just amazing. It's no wonder my daughter and I...fucking love you."
"Aww," she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I love you both. A lot."
"She really loves you, you know," he said, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as he leaned his head against hers. "You should have heard our bedtime talks the week you were gone on break. We'd talk about our days, and then somehow...we'd end up talking about you every night."
"Oh my goodness," Olivia smiled. "I missed you two so much when I was gone. I don't know...what the hell I'm going to do going forward. I'll miss you both so much."
"I know," he sighed. "We'll figure something out. I promise. It's not going to be easy, but we will."
"I know," she said, pulling her head back to look at him. "We'll figure something out while we're...defying the world. Again."
He started laughing, looking at her contently.
"I love you."
"I love you too," she laughed.
"Sorry. I'm saying it a lot," he nodded.
"You are," she nodded, cutting a bite of cheesecake and holding it up to his mouth. "And don't apologize for it, because I love it."
He took the bite she offered and smiled as he finished it, looking over her face. His eyes stopped on her lips, before meeting her eyes again.
She felt him leaning, and herself leaning back.
His lips. She'd missed them so much. A big part of her thought she'd never get to kiss them again, but there she was, sitting in the back booth of a beautiful restaurant, kissing him again.
It was a simple kiss, but one that lingered.
When they pulled away, he leaned his forehead against hers and gave her a smile.
"I missed all your smiles," she whispered, looking back and forth between his eyes and his lips.
"You're what makes me smile," he whispered back, and his smile growing bigger because of it.
She pressed her lips against his briefly again, feeling his hand move to rest on her thigh.
She could sit there and talk, and kiss him all night. In fact, she desperately wished that she could.
"I don't want to go back," she whispered against his lips. "I don't want this night to end. It's been so good, I just...wish it didn't have to end, and I wish I didn't have to leave you."
He touched his lips to hers lightly in thought, rubbing her thigh.
"Maybe...we don't have to go back tonight," he whispered. "I wish you didn't have to leave, too. But maybe...until you do, we could...stay. We could stay here tonight. Our night doesn't have to end yet. Your last night."
"Stay...where?" she asked.
He looked around, giving her a shrug. "Well. I guess we are...at the Langham. We could...stay. If...if you want?"
"Oh, Fitz. We don't have to do that—I just...I meant I've had such a fun evening in the city is all," she replied.
"I know," he nodded. "And it's your last night. So I just thought...it wouldn't have to end."
She looked at him curiously. "Are you serious?" she laughed.
"Yes," he nodded. "I'm not very good at jokes."
She started to laugh again and shook her head. "That's not true. You make me laugh all the time."
"You make me laugh," he chuckled. "You're powerful."
It made her blush as he said it, and she leaned against his shoulder with a smile.
"I still can't tell if you're serious about staying here. That seems like an expensive night," she said quietly.
Judging from the restaurant they were currently in, whew.
"I don't care," he said. "It would...make you happy."
"Would it...make you happy?" she asked.
"Yeah," he nodded with a smile. "I would love to stay here with you. It's nice to be out with you, away from the house."
"Yeah," she agreed with a smile. "We...could do it."
"We could," he nodded, smiling down at her. "We don't have overnight clothes or anything with us. But...at least Hank went out right before I left, which is later than he normally goes out anyway. So as long as we get back early in the morning," he chuckled.
"Well that's great news. We aren't prepared in any way to spend the night, but at least Hank will sleep comfortably! Those are priorities right there," she laughed. Which, was true!
"Yeah," he chuckled, smiling as she leaned into him. "Hank comes first."
"Always," she giggled.
He waved the waiter down so he could pay their tab and looked at her. "Well...you ready? Should we go check it out?"
"Yeah," she nodded, smiling.
She was kind of excited now, about their little city sleepover. All her bags were packed back at the house anyway, so all she'd need to do in the morning was shower and change clothes when she got back.
She certainly didn't expect her last night here before winter break to be spent with Fitz in a hotel, but she had to admit...she wasn't going to complain.
She was thinking about things, actually. She was thinking about a lot of things, as soon as they checked in to get a room.
He had even offered a two-bed room if she wasn't comfortable sleeping next to him.
But she'd already done it once, and at this point, she was pretty sure there was no turning back. They'd said things that couldn't be taken back—things she didn't want to take back. He was in the middle of leaving his wife, partially because of her, for God's sake.
She was pretty sure sleeping in a separate bed wasn't going to mean much in the grand scheme of things. And she didn't want to.
Those things she was thinking about as they reached their room on the 40th floor. Their King suite, which Fitz had agreed to within a few seconds like it was nothing. Those things were making her heart race when they entered their room, but she tried to push them aside as she admired their beautiful suite.
Go ahead and read part 2!