Wednesday, April 5, 1978
Lily dropped her bag and collapsed into the chair in the Potions workroom, breathing in the familiar scent of herbs and cauldron smoke as she let the stress of the day ebb away. She slipped into a meditative, trance-like state as she chopped and prepared ingredients, then added them to the cauldron and stirred the contents with steady, even strokes. The swirling thoughts slid from her mind as she counted her stirs and watched the bubbles rise to burst on the surface of the potion. Time slowed; her shoulders relaxed, and the relentless tension in her neck eased.
Once the potion reached the desired simmer, she left it and returned to the chair. As she pulled out the notes she had stashed under the table, a thrill of anticipation rippled through her. Don't be stupid, she thought savagely. You won't be writing any more notes back and forth after that row. She shouldn't want to write any more notes back and forth. Yet that tingle of excitement remained, teasing her until she pulled out the parchment with shaking hands and a pounding heart.
Her eyes scanned her own notes, skimming to the bottom where she found a few words in that familiar, cramped scrawl.
I've done a bit of research (for curiosity's sake, mind you, not because I give a toss about Remus Lupin or any other werewolf), and I think you should try stewing the aconite so it retains only a little of its poison. Maybe start at 10% and you can adjust from there. To calculate the heat and duration to get it to 10%, you'll want to...
She rolled her eyes at the formulas he had scribbled below the note. Bloody smartarse, she thought. Those were formulas she used all the time – including them was the written equivalent of his taunting smirk. Smiling to herself, she checked the simmering potion, then returned to her chair to ponder Severus's suggestion. She pulled a quill from her bag and twirled it between her fingers as she considered the implications of the idea. As she shifted the parchment closer to her, intending to scribble down a note that had occurred to her, she noticed a few more lines of Severus's handwriting squeezed sideways onto the edge of the parchment.
This is an exercise in futility if you don't have a werewolf test subject to experiment on. I'm sure you could find one willing to drink anything for a few Galleons, and if not you could always slip the 10% aconite into your mate's tea before full moon and see if he lives to wear his stupid cardigan another day.
Lily laughed in spite of herself, then clapped a hand over her mouth as a wave of guilt washed over her. Smartarse, she thought again, then dipped her quill into her ink and wrote the same sentiment below his first note. She hesitated, running her finger along the smooth edge of her eagle feather quill, then added, I'm going to work on actually figuring out what to mix the stewed aconite with before I worry about finding a test subject (I'm not just slipping it into Remus's tea – that's unethical).
She sat there, smiling down at the parchment as her mind drifted back to their conversation in the park. This wasn't an apology, but in a way it was, in the same way that this wasn't exactly a friendship, except it kind of was. She allowed herself to reread his message once more, imagining his smirk with every miniscule, slanting letter, before she folded the parchment up and stowed it back in its hiding place. The image of his taunting smirk stayed with her for the rest of the evening as the steaming potion warmed her face, and as she poured it into twelve perfect portions, and as she lay in bed next to James. Bloody smartarse, she thought again, and this time there was a definite hint of affection that accompanied the thought.
"You alright?" James asked, rolling over to face her.
His voice startled Lily from her thoughts, and for a moment she was too flustered to speak.
"Fine," she choked out, convinced he could somehow see into her head. Had her face given her away? Could he tell she had been thinking about Severus, and worse, that her feelings toward him had turned from hatred to something a bit warmer?
"You seem distracted," he said, reaching out to push a lock of hair out of her face. "Are you worried about something?"
She sighed. "Just the usual things."
His eyes filled with concern, and a stab of guilt tightened her chest until she almost couldn't breathe.
"Come here," he said, pulling her close and trailing his fingers up and down her back. "You shouldn't worry so much. I know you can't help it, but I hate seeing you like this, like the weight of the world's on your shoulders." He kissed her, the barest brush of his lips over hers, then whispered, "I love you."
"I love you too," she murmured back, sighing and resting her forehead against his chest.
She lay there, paralyzed by guilt until she fell asleep with James's steady breathing stirring her hair.
Monday, April 10, 1978
Lily strode into the workroom, her mind already busy listing the ingredients she would need to chop and prepare. She was so engrossed in her thoughts that she failed to notice the small space was already occupied – until she slammed straight into Snape.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded, rubbing her shoulder where she had bumped into Snape's bony chest. "It's my night to work in here."
Snape narrowed his eyes and gave her a cool look. "I thought you told Slughorn you wouldn't be in today."
She hesitated. Had she said that? Her mind had been a bit fuzzy lately. She supposed with all the bad news in the Prophet to worry about, and the research for her side project, and N.E.W.T.s getting closer, and the prospect of joining the Order, and the guilt of hiding her newly rekindled friendship – if friendship was even the right word – she had little time or energy to keep track of small details.
"I don't know why I would've said that," she admitted. "And I'm already here, so I don't fancy leaving."
"Well, I don't fancy leaving either," Snape said, a stubborn set to his jaw. "And I was here first." He glanced at the ingredients he had already gathered, and a smirk lifted the corners of his lips. "You can chop the dandelion roots, if you like."
Lily grinned. Chopping ingredients had always been Severus's least favorite part of Potions, but she didn't mind it. The repetitive motion and the soft thwack of the knife against the cutting board was meditative for her.
"Are you only offering because you don't want to do it yourself?"
"No, I'm offering because you're a bloody weirdo who enjoys chopping. And also I don't want to do it myself."
He scooted his chair over and set the knife on the table in front of her, and after a moment she conjured herself a chair and pulled the dandelion roots toward her. Neither of them spoke as the chopping sounds filled the room, punctuated by sharp crunching as he crushed dried scarab beetle eyes into a fine powder.
"What are we doing, Sev?" she said once the dandelion roots lay in a pile of neat, even pieces. She leaned back against the table and watched him scoop up the ingredients and drop them into the cauldron with a soft plop. His hair fell into his face as he bent over the cauldron to scrutinize the steaming contents before straightening with a brisk, satisfied snap of his head.
"We're brewing Calming Draught," he said, his lips turning up into the hint of a smirk as he sat down again and began tidying up the workspace. "It's a potion that soothes the drinker if they're upset or agitated—"
"I know what a bloody Calming Draught is," Lily snapped. "Are you capable of going five minutes without making a sarcastic, smartarse comment? I meant, what are we doing with this?" She gestured between the two of them. "Why are you leaving me helpful suggestions on my notes? Why are we brewing Calming Draught together? Why are we bothering to talk to each other when we've already agreed that we have nothing in common anymore?"
He kept his eyes fixed on the table as he swept the tiny fragments of dandelion root and scarab beetle dust into a pile and Vanished it with a jab of his wand. When he lifted his head to meet her gaze, the curve of his lips was smug, but there was also a glimmer of hope in his dark eyes.
"Why are you asking me these questions when it seems like you already know the answer?" he retorted.
"I…" She scrambled for a response, any coherent words to wipe that smug smile off his face, but she came up empty.
"Give that potion a stir and add the peppermint oil, will you?" he said, his smug smile growing, and because she had no idea what else to do, she followed his instructions.
"I heard Damocles Belby was going to take you on as a research assistant after you sit your N.E.W.T.s," he said a moment later, his question surprising Lily. "But a few weeks ago you backed out. What made you change your mind?"
She frowned at him, suspicion knitting her brows. "How do you know I backed out?" A flicker of something crossed his face, and her eyes widened in understanding. "Slughorn offered to give Belby your name instead, didn't he?"
Severus shrugged and fiddled with the pestle, rolling it between his long, thin fingers. The slight curl of his lip confirmed Lily's suspicions.
"It's none of your business why I backed out," she continued, crossing her arms. "My plans changed, that's all."
He glanced sideways at her, eyebrows raised. "Did he make you turn it down?" The venom in his voice made it clear which he Severus was referring to.
"Of course not," she said, her voice rising. "He doesn't make me do anything. I make my own bloody decisions. I decided to turn it down because I'm going to take some time off after I take the N.E.W.T.s, that's all. I've got my sister's wedding, and then we might travel a bit, or relax, or…" Her voice trailed off and she made a vague hand gesture.
"Right," he said, his voice dripping with skepticism.
"What?"
He shrugged again. Bloody hell, did he know how to do anything else? "I've just never known you to be one for time off, that's all."
She heaved an irritated sigh. "Well, we haven't been friends for a long time. A lot can change in two years." Her expression darkened. "A lot has changed in two years."
He rolled his eyes. "Your work ethic hasn't changed. I can't see you giving up the position of your dreams just because you want a bit of downtime, but as you said, it's none of my business."
"You're right," she said, a stubborn note in her voice. "It's not your business. And by the way, how do you know what my dreams are? We hardly know each other at all anymore."
He shrugged again; she resisted the urge to give his bony shoulder a shove. "If you say so."
She studied a scorch mark on the floor as he got up to check the potion's progress. Judging by the sound, she guessed it had reached a rolling boil, and Severus returned a moment later, nodding in satisfaction.
"Did you accept?" she asked, surprised by her own question. She didn't care one way or the other, of course she didn't, but that petty side that she fought to keep hidden took deep pleasure in the idea of Severus snapping up her rejected position.
His lips tightened and his eyes slid away from hers, revealing the answer before he opened his mouth. "I turned it down," he muttered. "I'll be too busy…"
"Too busy killing Muggles and spreading the pure-blood agenda?" Lily supplied bitterly. "Well, at least you have a valid reason, while I passed it up just so I can sit on my arse and eat bonbons."
He didn't reply, gazing over at the steam issuing from the cauldron.
"You know, I don't understand why you buy into all of that," she said, defiance quickening her heartbeat. "You're half-blood. Your dad's a Muggle."
His eyes flashed. "You think that's going to convince me to protect Muggles? You know what he's like."
Lily hesitated. "He's…"
She had only seen Tobias Snape from a distance, but she had never forgotten the cold cruelty on his face, nor the fear in Severus's voice every time he fled to the park, shaking with anger and dotted with fresh purple bruises blooming against his pale skin.
"He's a sorry excuse for a human, is what he is," Severus spat.
His sneering condescension had slipped to reveal the anger and hurt that bubbled beneath the surface. Lily watched his hands ball into tight fists as he glared down at the floor, and for a moment they were the Lily and Severus of years ago, lying on the grass at the park with their hands clasped together. She reached out and touched his arm, the last two years forgotten. Their eyes met, and her mind flooded with memories she hadn't let herself think about in years: her stomach leaping with hope as he told her about Hogwarts, eating pumpkin pasties on the train as they made plans for the year ahead, scrawling notes for each other in the corners of parchment as they poured over books at that one circular table in the library. I've missed him, she realized with a pang. After everything, I still miss being friends with him.
A loud hiss rent the silence, and they whirled to see the potion threatening to bubble over. Severus swore under his breath and scrambled to turn down the heat, tearing his arm away from Lily's touch. After a moment of frenzied stirring, the potion returned to its previous simmer, and Severus slunk back over to the table. As Lily looked at him, she felt unexplainably shy, as though something more than a friendly touch on the arm had passed between them. There had been a shift in the atmosphere, a slight thawing, a crack in the walls built by two years of separation. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, because there were no words to express the acute longing and regret and sadness that made her breath catch in her throat.
"I should go," she choked out, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "Don't forget to strain out the dandelion roots at the end."
"Now who's the smartarse?" he called, his voice following her out into the classroom as she broke into a run.
Friday, April 14, 1978
"You're late."
This time Lily wasn't startled by Severus's presence in the tiny workroom, although his contemptuous tone made her snort with laughter.
"You're not even supposed to be here today. I don't think you have any right to lecture me on punctuality."
He shrugged. "Am I allowed to lecture you on illegal drug use, then?"
She flushed. Mary had been rolling a joint as Lily was getting ready to leave, and though she had declined the offer to smoke with them, the scent clung to her hair and clothing. She held her sleeve up to her nose and sniffed, grimacing as the musky scent filled her nostrils. In the confined space of the workroom, she probably smelled like the Hufflepuff common room.
"I wasn't using illegal drugs," she said primly, setting down her bag. "I was just, er, around people who were using them."
He shook his head in disapproval. "Not exactly model Head Girl behavior. A contact high is possible, isn't it? It would be a shame if it affected your ability to brew a potion. Even the smallest mistake can have dire consequences on the integrity of the potion, you know."
"I'm fine to brew a potion," she said, rolling her eyes. "Even if I had actually smoked, I would be fine. It just makes me a bit more slow and deliberate, which isn't necessarily a bad thing."
He raised his eyebrows and made a skeptical little hmmph. "I wouldn't know. I don't do drugs."
"That's only because nobody's ever bothered to offer you any," she said with a teasing smile.
"How do you know? A lot can happen in two years," he said, smirking.
She rolled her eyes. "Getting stoned might be good for you, actually. Maybe it would make you less of an arsehole."
"Doubt it." He slid a mortar and pestle across the table, then selected several sprigs of lavender from a pile and set them in front of her. "Here, crush these up, will you?"
She rolled her eyes again, but began to strip the purple flowers from the stems and drop them into the mortar.
"Slughorn told me Donald Fawcett is taking that research position with Damocles Belby," she said as she crushed the flowers, releasing the scent of lavender into the air.
"It should have been one of us," Severus said, a bitter bite in his tone as he measured out flobberworm mucus. "Well, it really should've been me, but Slughorn chose you first because you're his bloody favorite."
"I'm his favorite because I'm best at potions." She plucked the flobberworm mucus from his hand and carried it over to the cauldron. "But don't worry, you're a close second."
He rolled his eyes and held out a bowl of herbs he had just measured out. "Here, you can add these, too, since you're best at potions."
Once the potion reached the desired simmer, Lily returned to the table to find another chair beside Severus's.
"Did you conjure this for me?" Somehow the small gesture felt like a peace offering.
He didn't reply, but pushed the chair out from under the table with his foot. She sat down, smiling in spite of herself.
"Did you say your sister is getting married?"
She nodded and gave a tight smile; the memory of that disastrous dinner still smarted, and she had returned to school without speaking to Petunia again.
Severus saw her expression and smirked. "I assume he's a huge fucking tosser?"
She burst into laughter, then pressed her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. "Be nice."
"So I was right." He shook his head in disgust. "Your sister was always such a miserable bitch."
"She's not that bad," Lily said, trying and failing to repress her smile. "She has, er, redeeming qualities."
"Yeah, well, you're dating James fucking Potter, so I don't exactly trust your judgement." His lips curled up into a sneer. "Why is everyone in your life such a shit?"
"Your so-called friends aren't any better." She smirked and nodded at him. "And anyway, I think that makes you a shit, too."
"I don't count," he said, shaking his head. "Technically we're not friends anymore."
"Oh. Right." The words shouldn't hurt – she'd said the same thing just the other day, yet she couldn't deny the ripple of sadness that washed over her. It was stupid, because she was the one who had ended the friendship. She had refused to speak to him or hear his apologies or entertain any thoughts of forgiveness. So why was she sitting here in the tiny, uncomfortable chair he had conjured for her, grinding up lavender for his Sleeping Potion?
He raised his eyebrows. "Or, I dunno, are we?" His expression had become less of a sneer, more of a smile, even if it was a rather smirky smile.
"I don't know what we are," she said, her voice soft.
"Are you even allowed to be friends with me?"
She glowered at him. "What's that supposed to mean? I told you, I make my own decisions. I wasn't friends with you before because I didn't want to be friends with you."
His eyes locked onto hers, piercing through her anger to sense the vulnerability underneath. "Do you want to be friends with me now?"
She froze. It should be a simple enough question to answer, but nothing with Severus was simple. There was a part of her that did want to be friends with him, because she missed the way they used to be, competing against each other in Potions and haunting the park during the summer and making snarky comments about people they didn't like. But there was another part of her that countered each of these fond memories with another memory: Severus skulking in the dungeons with Mulciber and Avery; dismissing Mulciber's use of Dark Magic as a joke; his eyes flashing with anger as his lips formed the word Mudblood.
"I don't know," she murmured. "Do you want to be friends with me?"
She expected him to smirk, to shrug, to scoff and make some mocking comment. Instead his sharp features softened and his dark eyes became wide and earnest. His long fingers stilled on the pestle and he straightened in his seat.
"That's never changed, Lily."
"But you have."
He shrugged. "We both have. But in some ways we're the same as always."
She sighed and slid down in her chair. "But is that enough? We're on two different sides of a war, Sev."
"Yeah. We are," he said, nodding. "But we're also two of the best Potions students Slughorn has ever seen, and I hate chopping ingredients but you find it calming, and we're both pathetic enough to want to spend a Friday night making Sleeping Potion instead of doing whatever normal people do on a Friday night."
"James has Quidditch practice on Friday nights, so I figured I'd squeeze in a bit of potions time. Otherwise I'd be sitting in the boys' dormitory with the rest of them, getting stoned and playing Exploding Snap."Why do I feel the need to explain myself?
Snape gave a derisive snort. "Sounds riveting, although I'm not sure I'd call your so-called friends normal people."
She grinned. "No, I suppose I wouldn't either. But I love them anyway."
"You have fucking terrible taste," he said, scowling.
"Yes, well, so do you." She stood up and glanced at the cauldron. "Keep an eye on that, because it's right at the cusp."
He frowned. "Where are you going?"
"I'm getting another vial so I can help myself to a bit of the potion," she said, hurrying out the door and across to the store room. When she returned with the vial, she set it down next to the row of others and fixed him with a defiant stare.
"Have you been stealing potion this whole time?"
She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. It's none of your business."
"It's my business if I decide to tell Slughorn," he said, a mocking smile tugging at his lips.
"What, that I stole some Sleeping Potion that I could get from Madam Pomfrey just as easily? Big deal. I'm not doing anything bad. I'm just, you know, skipping a step." She crossed her arms and nodded at the cauldron. "I think that's ready for the Valerian."
He didn't move. "Alright, Sleeping Potion I can understand, if you're lying awake all night thinking about what a tosser your boyfriend is–"
"Sod off."
"But what I don't understand is what you need Blood-Replenishing Potion for?"
She blinked at him for a moment, then smirked. "Female problems."
He wrinkled his nose. "Ugh. Really?"
"You asked," she said, laughing and taking a deep breath to calm her pounding heart. "I did say it was none of your business." She cast another look at the cauldron, then grabbed the mortar of Valerian and hurried to add it. "I guess I'll do this myself."
After they bottled the potion and cleaned the workspace, Lily and Severus left together and strolled out of the classroom and into the corridor. A companionable silence had fallen between them, and they walked side by side until they came to the staircase where they would have to split off to get to their respective common rooms.
"Are you going to be here again on Monday?" she asked.
"Most likely. Unless someone happens to offer me some drugs, in which case you won't see me." He hesitated, studying her expression. "You know, you could join me on Tuesday, if you like."
She shook her head. "I can't."
He shot her a withering glare. "Fuckface doesn't have practice on Tuesdays, does he? Wouldn't want him to get jealous." The smirk on his face told her that he would, in fact, love it if James got jealous.
"Don't be an arsehole," she snapped. "It's not like I'm keeping this a secret. I just, you know, haven't had an opportunity to mention it yet."
The sound of approaching footsteps echoed from above, and Lily's heart leapt into her throat as she grabbed Severus's hand and pulled him into the area under the stairs. They stood there in silence as Seven descended the stairs, her eyes darting side to side before she continued down the corridor and disappeared out of sight. Lily didn't release Severus's hand until Seven's footsteps faded, and then she turned to him, her cheeks flushed.
"I didn't want to have to explain–" she began.
"You're not keeping this a secret?" he asked, giving her a pointed look. "Because typically you don't hide behind a staircase if you don't mind being seen."
She sighed. "I just don't want it to be a big thing. He'll be furious because he's never forgiven you for what you called me that day out by the lake. I'm not even sure I've forgiven you, for that matter. And he'll think…" She shook her head in irritation and pushed the strap of her bag higher on her shoulder. "He'll think you're trying to…"
He raised his eyebrows. "Trying to what?"
"To, I dunno, steal me away from him. He thinks you have feelings for me, which I realize is ridiculous, but…"
Her voice trailed off as something flickered across his face. It was a slight tightening of his mouth and a widening of his eyes that made her wonder whether she had completely misjudged him.
"It is ridiculous, isn't it?"
He rolled his eyes as his face returned to its default expression of disdain, and Lily decided she had imagined whatever she had thought she had seen.
"Of course it's ridiculous, but I wouldn't expect anything less from that idiot."
She smiled in spite of herself, imagining the way James would put a protective arm around her to stave off a perceived threat. There was something so adorable about James relaxing his confident persona to show vulnerability, even if that vulnerability came in the form of jealousy.
"He just doesn't want anyone to try to take me away from him. It took ages for me to finally say yes, you know?"
He scowled. "Maybe he should try being less of a tosser, if he doesn't want to lose you. I'm not bloody scared of him, by the way."
Her eyes widened in alarm. "You probably should be. He'd lose his bloody mind and go after you, and Sirius would go along with it just for the fun of it. You saw that fight last year, didn't you? It was a full-on brawl in the corridor, and that was only because Mulciber called Mary a slag or something. Can you imagine what it would be like if James thought there was actually something going on between us?"
Severus shrugged, his expression unchanged. "Like I said, I'm not scared."
She shook her head and sighed. "We need to be careful. For everyone's sake." She grabbed his wrist to check his watch, and she saw the same unidentifiable flicker cross his face. "I'd better go. I'll see you on Monday, I expect."
"Tell fuckface I said to sod off!" Severus called after her.
"Smartarse," she murmured, holding up a two finger salute without turning to look back at him.
"I can't believe we're leaving here in two months," Mary mused, flopping down onto Sirius's bed and sending a pillow tumbling to the floor. "When I first started here, seven years felt like ages, and now it's almost over."
"I can't believe it either," Sirius said, lying sideways across the bed so his head hung down over the side. "It doesn't feel like we should be allowed to be adults, does it?"
"You could start by sitting more like an adult," Remus suggested as he opened a box of Bertie Bott's and shook a few into his palm. "Do you have to go upside down like that? All the blood is rushing to your head, and it's freaking me out."
"You freak me out. Throw me one of those, will you?" Sirius nodded at the Bertie Bott's. He opened his mouth to catch one, then swore as it hit him in the eye instead. "Terrible shot, Moony. Piss poor effort."
"I'm not ready to leave," Peter admitted. He was seated on the floor beside Remus, looking up at Sirius with a melancholy expression on his face. "There are so many things that I never got around to doing."
"There's still time," Sirius said, waving at Remus to get him to throw another bean. "We could come up with a list of things to do before we leave. We can do one thing a day until we get everything checked off the list."
"What sort of things do you want to do, Peter?" Mary asked. She shifted her legs and nudged Sirius with her foot, then squealed when he grabbed her ankle.
Peter frowned, reaching over Remus to pull a bean from the box and aiming it for Sirius's mouth. It bounced off Sirius's forehead, rolling onto the floor and under the bed.
"I've always wanted to have a camp out in the Great Hall," Peter said, tilting his head sideways. "I dunno why, but that was the first thing I thought of when I saw the starry ceiling for the first time."
"How come you never mentioned it before?" Remus asked.
Peter shrugged. "Because I figured you would think it was weird."
"It's definitely weird," Sirius said, reaching his arm under the bed to grope for the lost bean. "But I would expect nothing less from you, Pete. We can do it, if you like. What else should we put on the list? Moony, will you make a list?"
Remus sighed but retrieved parchment, quill, and ink from his bag and spread everything on the floor in front of him, then began to scribble on the parchment.
"Alright, I've added campout in the Great Hall. What other ridiculous activities am I adding?"
"I've always wanted to go swimming in the lake," Mary mused.
"Not sure that's advisable," Remus said, frowning at her. "There's the giant squid, and merpeople, and grindylows, and those weird looking fish…"
"We're not coming up with advisable ideas," Sirius said, stretching his hand out further until his fingers brushed against the Bertie Botts. "We're coming up with idiotic shenanigans that are undoubtedly a bad idea but we're going to do them anyway." The bean slid out of his grip and skittered further away; he gave up and hoisted himself back onto the bed. The blood had begun to rush to his head, although he would never admit that to Remus. "Macdonald, I'll go swimming in the lake with you. But I think we should do it at night, and I also think we should go naked."
"Of course you do," she said, grinning and reaching for his hand to pull him down to lay beside her. "Oh, you know what else would be good? If you made a bingo game for McGonagall to play, like we did for Remus's birthday, except instead of McGonagall bingo it's idiot bingo, with things like, I dunno, 'James messes up his hair,' or 'Sirius tips back too far in his chair and almost falls over.'"
"'Macdonald shows up late smelling of cigarettes and shame,'" Sirius suggested, grinning at her.
"That sounds like both of us, actually." She moved closer to him and settled her head on his chest. A strand of her hair tickled his face until he brushed it aside. "What about, 'Lily and James gaze longingly at each other across the classroom.'"
"'Peter has no idea what's going on but keeps copying the notes like everything's fine,'" Peter said, laughing.
"'Remus also has no idea what's going on because he fell asleep halfway through the notes and can't read his own bloody handwriting,'" Remus added.
"She's going to have the best class." Sirius turned his head to look at Remus and Peter, frowning. "What should her prize be for getting bingo? Or, actually, the prize is that she has the privilege of teaching such talented young minds."
"Hmm, what if you also put on a ukulele performance for everyone?" Peter suggested. "Maybe in the corridors between classes, so everyone can enjoy it? Or during lunch or something?"
"Pete, why do you encourage him?" Remus said, shaking his head in exasperation.
"I love it, Pete," Sirius said, sticking his tongue out at Remus. "I'll do all my best songs–"
"You mean that Paul Simon song and Jingle Bells? Because as far as I know those are the only ones you know–"
"And I'll wear my cowboy hat, and maybe I can get Ukiluki to join me," Sirius continued, ignoring the interruption. "Write it down, Moony."
By the time James and Lily returned to the dormitory, they had compiled a decent-sized list.
"Add what you like, Prongs," Sirius said, nodding at the list that sat on the floor beside Remus. "And you too, Evans, as long as it's a fun idea and not, I dunno, 'Read in the library all day.'"
"Sod you, I have fun ideas," Lily protested as she settled on the floor to peruse the list. "Oh, we should do another game of castle-wide hide and seek. Peter and Mary weren't here when we did it over Christmas."
"And I think we should leave something for people to remember us by," James said, sprawling out beside her and pulling the list toward him.
"I love the idea of a bucket list," Mary murmured, sighing and draping her leg over Sirius's. "It makes it a bit less terrifying that we're leaving here in a couple of months."
"It's a very Macdonald strategy, isn't it?" He pulled a strand of her hair out of his mouth (really, Macdonald?) and rested his hand on her waist. "Ignore the problems and just focus on silly nonsense instead."
"Are you saying that's not a good strategy?"
He laughed, stirring her hair with his breath. "No, it's my favorite sort of strategy."
"I was thinking we should have our own bucket list."
A grin spread across his face. "You mean a list of places around the castle where we want to shag?"
"That's exactly what I mean."
"I fucking love you," he said, laughing.
She tilted her head up to look at him, her face lit up with joy, and only then did he realize what he had said.
"Oh, fuck," he muttered. "Don't expect… I'm still not going to say that all the time or anything. I was just—"
She put a finger to his lips. "Shhh. I know. Don't ruin it." She pressed her lips against his as her hand traveled up to stroke his hair. "I love that me saying I want to shag you in random parts of the castle was what made you say I love you."
"You just… get me," he said, closing his eyes as her fingers massaged his scalp. "And I appreciate that."
"We get each other," she said, kissing him again. This time the pressure of her lips was deeper, more insistent, and when she pulled away she was breathless. "I love you, Black," she whispered into his ear.
"Friendly reminder that we're all still here," Lily said. "At least close your curtains before you get all snoggy."
"Snoggy is definitely not a word," Remus said. Sirius could picture the exasperation on his face without seeing his expression. "But I agree with the sentiment all the same."
"Sod off," Sirius said cheerfully, holding up the two finger salute before pulling his curtains shut around them.