"Oh wow," she whispered, looking around the spacious, and elegant room. A little living area and a bar, and a huge King sized bed, with a beautiful view of the city outside the window. "Fitz...this is amazing."
"It's beautiful," he nodded, taking off his coat to put it on the couch.
She set her bag down, looking out the window.
"Thank you so much for doing this. This is...so extravagant!" she said, smiling out at the view of the city. The city that never slept.
He looked at her with a smile, as she admired the view. He put his hands in his pockets, thinking of how happy it had made her. It was a five-star hotel, so it was extremely nice, he couldn't deny that. But it wasn't all that extravagant to him.
So just the fact that one night in it made her this happy, just to be in the city environment with him. It made him want to be with her, and see that smile all the damn time.
"I'm glad you like it, Livvie," he said, smiling at her, and making his way to the couch.
She looked over at him, starting to take off her coat too.
Livvie.
She was thinking again. She wondered if she was the only one thinking about it as she laid her coat over the desk chair and slipped off her heels.
His eyes wandered slowly down her body, in her fitted maroon dress and the necklace he bought her around her neck. He got a better look now that they weren't sitting down in a restaurant.
Based on how he just looked at her, she was pretty sure she wasn't the only one thinking things.
He had never been super great at concealing his wandering eyes when it was just the two of them. She saw every area of her body that his eyes lingered on, and she, in turn, felt her body respond.
He was still standing by the couch, looking over at her. So she walked back toward him, and he watched that too.
Her hips in that fitted dress. Her legs, oh God. The v-neck of that dress. He was trying to push the thought out of his head as she neared him. The thought that he wanted the dress gone.
And as she came up in front of him, flashing him that pretty smile, he couldn't even speak.
She felt her own eyes wander, too. Down his strong chest and abdomen, that she could see through his fitted casual dress shirt. His hands in the pants of his khakis, which accentuated his muscular thighs, and his ass, too.
He looked down at her, and she could almost feel that their thoughts were the same.
His audible breathing, and his chest moving up and down, signaled to her that he was nervous. And she understood, because her heart was beating so quickly in her own chest.
The second she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, he immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back.
Her heart only continued to race as their kiss transitioned into a slow, passionate makeout.
It had been a while, but she hesitantly opened his mouth further with her tongue. He held her tighter, and brushed her tongue back with his.
His hands held firm to her waist, but they didn't stay there for long.
They slowly moved down to her hips, feeling the soft fabric of her dress beneath his fingertips. And their kiss was so deep. So passionate, after such a long time of forcing themselves to stay away.
They weren't staying away now.
He exhaled against her lips, shifting his hands down to her ass so he could pick her up.
She gasped quietly, holding on tighter around his neck as he walked with her in his arms. Her dress rode up, leaving her pressed up against him in nothing but her underwear, until he laid her down on the bed.
He sunk down slowly, pressing himself into her gently. She could feel him. She could feel him against her, which made her clit start to throb.
She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him closer and allowing their bodies to press closer together. He instantly hardened more above her—she felt it.
He pulled away from her lips, breathing hard, and moved to her neck.
She ran her fingers through his hair, as his lips covered her delicate skin.
She was breathing audibly—in fact, she was sure the room was filled with nothing but the sound of his lips on her neck, his intermittent breathing, and the sounds of her pleasure.
And then his hands were on her breasts.
Her legs started to widen simply because he was touching her. She kept them somewhat wrapped around his waist, but she felt her control withering away.
It felt like it had been so long since she'd even been remotely intimate with him. And even when she had, they hadn't gone very far. They'd always kept things pretty minimal, simply because they didn't have moments alone very often. When they were alone, their moments were rushed, or plagued by guilt that stemmed from uncertainty.
But there wasn't as much uncertainty now, not about what they felt. Things felt different.
It felt like they were each other's. They'd said the words. They'd meant them. And now they were showing it.
She pulled on his shirt as he massaged her breast with one hand, and ran his other up her thigh.
He did it slowly, but he slid his hand under her fitted dress and up toward her underwear.
The underwear she had on right now didn't leave much to the imagination. It was a pretty skimpy thong, and he was now feeling that first hand.
"Is this okay? I can...I can stop," he whispered, pausing his hand over the side of her thong, and her smooth hip.
"I don't want you to stop," she whispered, holding his head as he kissed her chest. "I want...oh God—"
Her pleading, alone, had him panting as he touched her through her underwear. She was wet—he could feel it through the fabric, and it made his dick even harder.
He looked up at her, desperate for her to feel so good. The moans and the breathing—he just wanted to hear more. He wanted her to be satisfied.
"What do you want?" he whispered, kissing her neck. "Tell me...tell me what you want."
She held his face in her hands, pulling him back so that their eyes met.
"You," she whispered, glancing over his face. "I want you, Fitz. Right...now."
He looked down at her, hearing just the two of their breathing. His heart started to race.
"You...you want...?" he whispered, trying to gauge what he could from the expression on her face.
She nodded breathlessly, a small smile forming on her face.
His heart pounded in his chest, but a small smile formed on his face too.
He leaned back down and captured her lips in a kiss. "Me too. God...I want you. I—want you too," he whispered.
She moaned against his lips, before he disconnected their lips and looked down at her.
"Do you have any...are you on...?" he whispered.
She shook her head, letting out a deep breath.
He nodded, looking around as he tried to calm his breathing. But his heart was absolutely racing.
"Okay. Okay. Um..." he began, starting to get up.
He ran his hand through his hair quickly, looking around as his heart raced.
"I'll uh...I'll be back. Okay? I'll, um...I'll be right back."
"Okay...yeah," she panted, watching him get up. "Okay."
"Don't move," he whispered, leaning down and pecking her lips quickly.
She nodded, watching him put his jacket on and button it. Thankfully, it covered his raging boner, which she could see the imprint of in his pants.
He ran a hand through his hair, trying to tame it as he got ready to head out again with his wallet in hand.
"I'll be back," he said, fixing his collar. "Give me fifteen."
"Okay," she nodded breathlessly, as he left the room.
She let out a big, unsteady sigh as she looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm her insane heart rate.
This was really about to happen.
She wanted him so bad, but it also had been forever since she'd done this. And she certainly wasn't super experienced, let alone good at it, which made up a big portion of her nerves.
He was much older, and although she knew he'd only been with one woman, he was far more experienced than she was. She didn't even have to know anything about his decade-long sex life with Mellie to know that, because she could only count the number of times she'd had sex on one hand.
It definitely made her nervous.
And yet, she wanted him. She wanted to feel him inside of her. She wanted him to do things to her, and she wanted to do things to him too.
The thoughts she had about Fitz—she'd never had about the one guy she had been intimate with. Not on this level.
This was something so entirely different.
She decided to get out of bed so she could unzip her very fitted dress. After it fell to the floor, she hung it up on the chair and walked back to the bed in only her bra and skimpy underwear, which truly was much more comfortable. She loved the dress, but taking it off felt nice.
She slid under the covers and propped her head up with her palm, awaiting his return. Awaiting his return with a quickly beating heart.
He made it back in ten minutes, quicker than he'd even said he'd be. He walked in with a small plastic bag from a convenience store that he about dropped the second he saw her in bed.
She smiled at him, but he couldn't see anything. All he saw was her laying on her side under the covers, with her now bare shoulders.
He knew what was under the covers—practically nothing.
He bit his lip as he watched her, removing his coat and his shoes again, and then grabbing a box quickly from the bag.
He set the box on the nightstand and mounted her, pulling back the covers slowly to reveal her almost naked body beneath him.
Her breasts perfectly filling that black lacy bra. The necklace that he'd given her still around her neck. Her flat, toned stomach. The black underwear, that had nothing but thin strings to connect the front and the back. Her smooth skin, so much of it bare for him to see. His eyes devoured every inch of her before he even could.
She reached up and started to undo his belt, and he instantly felt his dick respond, even more than it already had at the sight of her body.
He braced himself on the mattress, letting her remove his belt and unzip his pants. He leaned down and kissed her while she did, and she instantly started to push his pants down.
He helped her, inching them off and leaving him solely in his shirt and underwear. The shirt buttons were next, which he rapidly undid as he knelt above her. She was running her hands over him through his briefs, and he was watching her do it.
He tossed his shirt off the side of the bed and gripped the headboard for support as he knelt there above her, both in nothing but their underwear.
Not a word had been spoken since they'd started to undress.
Her almost naked body tended to have that effect on him—he was speechless. But he was nervous, too, and he could see a hint of it in her as well. In the past, they'd both been a bit hesitant sometimes to go any further. But he had to admit, he wasn't feeling hesitant now. He wanted every inch of her, despite the rapid beating of his heart. He wanted to show her now, that he loved her. He wanted her to feel just how much he did.
He wanted to take that step now, and clearly, she did too.
She smiled and sat up briefly, unclasping her bra with slightly shaky hands. She unhooked it from her shoulders and dropped it off the side of the bed, watching his eyes move to her bare chest for the first time. She laid back slowly on the bed, giving him a smile.
All he could think, was wow.
As he knelt there, he moved his hands to her perfect breasts, feeling them beneath his fingertips. And watching how it made her smile, and widen her legs.
And his heart pounded.
He licked his lips and leaned down, taking one of her nipples in his mouth. It made her gasp, and she immediately clutched at his curls.
His hands, on the other hand, moved to her underwear.
He didn't waste any more time. He just hooked his fingers underneath the thin band, and started to push them down while his tongue swirled around her nipple.
She bent her legs at the knee and let him swiftly remove her underwear, which left her completely and utterly naked beneath him.
He was throbbing in his briefs as he shifted to give her other breast some attention.
His eyes were closed, but he felt her naked body against him. Her legs were wide on either side of him, she was wet in between, and her skin was so soft.
He opened his eyes and kissed his way down slowly, peering up at her while he did.
She was so gone. She watched his every move, with such a pleasured look on her face. Her body shook a little bit as he went lower.
And when he did, he had to take a minute to appreciate her whole body, laid out before him. So smooth, so sexy, and all his.
He glanced up and down her bare body, licking his lips.
"You are...so beautiful," he whispered, dragging his finger along her stomach. The image he'd tried to imagine in his head a thousand times didn't compare at all.
She was smiling, but he could physically see her muscles tensed and trembling, so he extended his body back up to meet her eyes again, bringing the covers over them. That at least would keep her warm, because in addition to the duvet over them, their warm skin was now pressed together.
It was easier to see that she was nervous now, too.
"Livvie," he whispered, cupping her cheek. "Have you ever...done this before?"
She nodded in response, letting out a deep breath. "Yes. It's just been...kind of a long time for me."
"Okay," he nodded in a whisper. "Are you sure...you want to?"
"I've never been more sure about anything," she whispered with a smile, reaching down to slip her fingers under the waistband of his underwear.
He nodded and kissed her cheek softly. And he reached down, too, to help her take off his briefs.
His hardened, wet tip pressed up against her lower abdomen—she felt it immediately as he took off his briefs and reached for the box on the nightstand.
He was so warm between her legs, and the feeling only made her widen her legs more. She wanted it bad. Despite her nerves, she wanted it now. And he could tell.
He opened the box, and unwrapped a condom, which she watched intently, starting to move against him. His hand disappeared underneath the covers, and he rolled it on himself. She felt the latex pressed to her clit as he sunk down closer to her.
"We'll just go nice and slow, okay?" he whispered, leaning his forehead down against her.
"Okay," she whispered back with a nod, wrapping her arms around him. "Okay."
He adjusted some things and settled himself down between her legs.
He leaned down and kissed her while he prodded her entrance with his tip, holding himself in his hand. He kissed her the whole time that he slowly began to push in, hoping to somewhat take the pressure off for her.
She gasped, immediately tightening her grip around him and closing her eyes tightly.
He had to go slow to allow her some time. She was tight, that much he could tell right from the beginning. She felt so incredibly good, especially when he was able to slowly ease himself in all the way.
"Oh God," she gasped, clutching onto his shoulders tightly. He pulled out and rolled his hips again, filling her up slowly.
"That...okay?" he asked, pausing.
She nodded, but couldn't speak back. She was holding so tightly to him that he knew there was no way he was coming out of tonight without marks on his skin.
Marks from her. And the thought didn't even worry him. It made him happy.
She leaned her head back on the pillow, feeling him stretch her. He was thick, and long, and she could feel him reaching areas that she felt had never been reached before.
Her eyes were squeezed shut, but she opened her legs even wider for him to thrust again.
Her legs were just about next to his biceps, she was that wide. That open for him.
He had to wet his dry lips—they were dry from beginning to pant already.
"Jesus," he whispered, running his hand along her right calf.
He watched his length slide in more effortlessly this time—coated in her wetness now. She had begun to relax, and adjust to his size.
It was a sight he was pretty sure he would never forget. Seeing himself all the way inside of her, her walls gripping his dick so perfectly.
"Oh, Liv," he moaned, lingering inside and glancing over her pleasured face. "Oh...baby. Look at me—look at me."
She finally realized her eyes were still squeezed shut, so she opened them and watched as he slowly rolled his hips. Filling her up again and again, and never ceasing his steady pace. Jesus, she'd never seen his hips move like that.
Their eyes met as he slid in and out of her slowly, bringing a slight smirk to both of their faces. And then his hand moved down between their bodies. She felt his finger start to move back and forth against her clit in the little room that he had between them.
She clutched the pillow next to her, and clutched him.
"Oh—" she moaned loudly, biting her lip and feeling the wonderful sensation of him inside of her, and his finger rubbing her clit.
To see her like this beneath him, morning and panting—starting to break a sweat simply because of what he was doing to her. It was better than anything he could have ever imagined. He was being gentle and going pretty slow, so if this was already how she looked now—his mind wandered to how she'd like it if he did other things to her and her beautiful body. How she'd like it if he took her in other ways.
Her perfect breasts moving up and down with each slow thrust of his hips, how hard she was holding onto him. Jesus, he could go all night at this rate.
He was moaning now, starting to pick up his pace.
And she understood his need to pick up the pace, because she was starting to feel things. She was feeling things she hadn't ever felt before during sex.
This pent up feeling inside, that only kept growing as he thrust deep inside her and rubbed her clit.
"Fitz," she whimpered, holding tightly to his shoulders. "Fitz—don't stop. Please, just...like that, don't stop."
"Like...that," he echoed in a whisper, leaning down to take her nipple in his mouth. That drove her even more insane.
He could tell she was getting so close, because she was moving her hips against his, trying to connect them even more deeply than he already was. And her thighs, which were still spread so damn wide, were trembling. He paused all the way inside her, moving his fingers so fast against her clit and swirling his tongue across her nipple.
"Yes. Yes—yes," she whimpered desperately.
He rested his head down against hers so that he could see her eyes. He smiled at her, biting his lip as they connected over and over.
He was so close, too; he didn't have sex often, so it was a struggle for him to hold off. But he did everything in his power to, so he could see her come first. He wanted to see how she looked, how she sounded. How she felt. And he didn't want his own orgasm distracting him from it.
She was panting, looking utterly exhausted. But when she saw his smile, her lips immediately formed a smile back.
"I...love you," he whispered, rolling his hips.
"I love you," she breathed back, cupping his face. "I love you...so much, Fitz."
"I love you," he moaned, capturing her lips in a kiss as he thrust faster now.
She had long since started to shake, and now so was he.
"Oh...God. Yes—" she said, gripping his shoulders.
He could see, and feel it coming.
"Oh, Fitz. Fitz—"
He felt her clenching around him and it pushed him so quickly over the edge, he didn't even have a chance to stop it. He just couldn't hold off any longer—especially with her moaning his name in his ear, and her fingernails digging into his back. Not to mention, she was pulsating around him. That was the end of him right there, so thank God he'd watched her finish first.
"Olivia—" he moaned, burying his head in her shoulder again. He came hard, feeling his own body shake unsteadily on top of her after she'd already reached her own high.
He pumped in and out slowly a few more times, cherishing how tight, and perfect she felt around him. And how beautiful she was beneath him. Her thighs still trembled, so he started to gently rub one of them as he kissed her neck. He slowly pulled out, resting himself against her, because it was the only place he wanted to be.
They were a complete mess, he could feel it all. Their bodies were damp with sweat, and her cum was on the both of them.
She laid there and tried to calm her breathing, with her arms still wrapped tightly around him. She looked utterly surprised, and somewhat amazed.
"You okay?" he whispered, kissing her cheek.
She nodded slowly without a word at first, looking as if she was trying to gather her thoughts. She let out a deep breath, and met his eyes.
"That's never...I've never had that happen before," she admitted in a whisper.
She almost felt a little embarrassed that it hadn't. Not that she had been having lots of sex for that to happen prior to tonight. But still, in the times that she had, never had she experienced that type of orgasm.
What on earth had she been missing—good God.
"No?" he whispered.
"...No," she answered, wide-eyed.
His lips slowly formed into a soft smile and he started to blush. Which, made her blush.
"And...do you feel good?" he asked, kissing her shoulder.
She nodded immediately, tightening her arms around him. "Yes. God...yes. Wow."
"Wow," he agreed with a nod. He certainly had never experienced anything quite like that before either. That was what making love felt like.
"I've been wanting to do that for months."
"God, me too," he nodded.
"I did not think...this was going to happen today, though," she admitted with a laugh.
"Neither did I," he chuckled. "I guess I wasn't thinking...we were going to completely lack self control the second we were...alone in a hotel room."
She burst into laughter, nudging his arm. "Yeah it didn't take us very long, did it."
"No," he laughed, shaking his head. "But...I'm happy it happened."
"Me too," she whispered, smiling up at him. "God, me too."
He smiled back and intertwined their fingers together. His hand—so much larger than hers.
His bicep flexed when she locked fingers with him, which was such a pretty sight to see.
She had a lot of muscular man on top of her right now and she wasn't complaining a single bit. But he did get up soon thereafter, which she assumed would be to take care of some things. His condom, for one.
"I'll be right back, okay," he whispered.
"Okay," she nodded, accepting the soft kiss he planted on her lips.
He turned and got out of bed right after, looking down at himself. Which, meant she didn't get a front view, but she finally got a view of his entire backside as he walked to the bathroom.
His back was so muscular. So broad at his shoulders, and she could just about see every individual muscle lining his back.
The backs of his legs, also quite defined. Hell, even his ass looked perfect. Her eyes lingered there the longest—it brought a smile to her face and probably some warmth to her cheeks.
He came back after having cleaned himself up, with what looked like a hand towel in his other hand.
She hoped to god that was for her, because good Lord, she felt messy down there.
And for the first time, she actually saw him in his entirety. She saw all of him.
She'd felt him, both with her hand and inside of her, and yet had never seen the entire beauty that was his body.
And what a beauty he was.
She had to almost refrain from saying "holy shit" or something because she had a hard time grasping that that was the man she'd just had sex with.
The six-pack. The pecs. The arms. His dick.
Good Lord.
He didn't even notice her staring at first, he was looking downward. But when he looked up at her, he saw it all. The mesmerized eyes, the subtle licking of her lips.
It brought a smile to his face.
"Here," he said, handing her the towel as he got in bed.
"Thank you," she said. Oh thank God.
He lifted up the covers and scooted closer to her again as she cleaned herself up. Luckily most of the mess was her—the sheets had been saved of...cum.
"Who's holding the cum rag now," she asked, rolling it up and setting it on the table beside their bed.
She wondered if they may need that again...
He burst into laughter, watching her get out of bed now, too, because she had to use the bathroom.
"You're funny," he chuckled, checking her out as she walked completely naked out of his line of vision.
"Yeah, you've said that before. I always wonder what you're smoking," she laughed, shutting the door.
"I'm serious," he replied with a laugh. "Nobody's...ever made me laugh like you. Nobody's ever really...done anything like you," he said quietly.
But she still heard.
"Fitz, you can't make me cry while I'm on the toilet."
He started to laugh again, and his laugh made her smile.
"I rest my case," he chuckled.
She finished up in the bathroom and did some additional cleaning up, coming back with a smile on her face. She could see he was taking his turn to check her out now.
She smirked, climbing into bed with him again.
She immediately scooted close to him, and he pulled her on top of him. Their bodies were pressed together; each could feel everything.
She leaned down and kissed his chest a few times, and he smiled because of it.
"I missed kissing you," she whispered, trailing down his abdomen.
"I can tell," he smiled, opening his hand to her. She interlocked their fingers and made her way back up. "I missed kissing you too. I missed...everything. I don't ever want what happened to happen again."
"What?" she asked, propping her other arm up on the bed next to him. She laid on top of him, looking intently up at him with their fingers intertwined.
"I don't want to be away from you. Physically...mentally. I don't know how we're going to do it, and I know it's going to be tough. All of it. But I don't want to be away from you anymore. I can't."
The thought made her happy. He was right, this would be tough. They'd been together before and that was certainly tough—who knows how this would all go in the midst of him leaving his wife. But they'd also gone without each other since then.
And she knew in her heart that despite everything, that had been tougher—not being with him.
"I don't want to be away from you anymore either," she shook her head. "I don't ever want to again either, to be honest with you."
The corner of his mouth tugged up into a little grin, and he lifted his head up to press his lips to hers.
"I've never..." she began, tracing her fingers along his chest. "I've never been in love with anyone before."
"Neither...have I," he whispered back, rubbing his thumb across the top of her hand that he was holding. "So I can see where...this is a bit overwhelming. You know. Just...just a bit."
"Just a bit," she laughed. "For both of us."
"Yes," he agreed, laughing. "But...it's worth it to me, to be yours."
She moved her hand up to the side of his face and rubbed her thumb across his cheek with a smile. "And to be yours."
He sighed contently, looking between her eyes and lips.
"Mine."
"Mhm," she giggled, pecking his lips.
"Mine, mine, mine," he said, rolling her over and kissing her neck. She laughed the entire time, wrapping her arms and legs around him as she felt the slight tickle of his lips on her skin.
He enjoyed the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest, and how she widened her legs when he pressed himself against her.
And he wanted to kiss her again. He wanted her lips on his, and her tongue in his mouth.
She was way ahead of him. The second he moved his lips to hers, she opened her mouth against his and plunged her tongue inside. They made out like that for a while, while he rested on top of her.
Just a makeout session in a dimly lit hotel suite, both completely naked and loving it.
His dick grew hard again against her stomach, which felt so nice. She wanted to keep feeling it.
And soon, hands started to wander again. She could tell he was being cautious about it, going slow and steady. But he pulled away from her lips and reached down, watching the look on her face as he made first contact with her clit again.
She gasped, widening her legs further.
He felt her clit against his index finger and started to rub it, adding a finger. But he wanted to make sure he did it how she wanted him to.
"Tell me how you like it," he whispered, rubbing two fingers against her clit and playing with the idea of sliding a finger inside her. He quickly pulled his fingers back and wet them, and resumed what he was doing.
He settled in on a circular motion, which instantly had her nodding. "Like that. Like...that, Fitz."
He smiled down at her, pecking her lips as she opened her legs wider for him. He slowly slid his ring finger inside her briefly, watching her clutch onto his arm in response. But he also tried to focus on her clit right now, as he felt he hadn't paid it enough attention yet.
He was eager to learn her body. To learn what she loved, aside from the one weak spot he already knew about.
But when she was shaking in his arms for a second time that night, as he brought her to an orgasm with his fingers, he had to admit he was feeling good. Better than he'd ever felt.
Not just because of the sex, or the fooling around. Because he'd never connected physically with anyone he truly loved before.
And he could see it in her eyes, too. The eyes that looked at him like he was all she wanted to see. He felt the same.
They had a lot of playtime that night. They were completely and utterly alone. With no time limitations or responsibilities, and with espresso in their systems on top of that.
Olivia figured she'd be pretty tired the next day, but she had all her things packed anyway, and could just sleep on both of her flights.
They weren't exactly prepared for a sleepover in the city, they knew that. But Fitz had at least gotten toothbrushes and toothpaste from the convenience store, which she was thankful for.
All she had was a change of clothes from earlier that day at school, a toothbrush, and a box of condoms.
Apparently, that was all they needed...
And after all their playtime, they rinsed off in the shower together, before finally settling down in bed around 2 a.m.
Fitz's alarm was set for them to get up in the morning decently early so they could get back to Hank, who would need to go outside and eat breakfast. Plus, Olivia would need to properly get ready for the day and then head out to the airport with Fitz.
But before they fell asleep that night, the room was full of both whispers, and deep thoughts.
Whispers of "I love you," and thoughts about where they would go from there.
Olivia couldn't help but wonder exactly how this was all going to go. She wondered if and when Fitz would leave his home in Rye. She wondered about Karen, and knew that she would be Fitz's top priority in his whole fight with Mellie. She wondered how Mellie would take everything.
She thought about people close to her too, aside from Karen. Her friends here at school. Shawn. Her mother. She thought about what they all would think of this.
But to end that wonderful, amazing night, she didn't want to think about anything that felt uncertain, or that made her nervous. She didn't want to think about anything other than the man she loved, as she snuggled impossibly close to him.
What went on in Fitz's head was a lot more positive than many nights in the past. He had spent a lot of his time for a while, thinking about tough decisions and consequences, that was for sure. He never got out of his own head. But at least tonight, he felt this sense of happiness, and freedom. Because of her, and because of the decisions he'd recently made.
Tonight had been so much different than anything had ever been with Mellie, even when they were young and just starting out.
Everything with Olivia was just so much different, and so much better. Especially when he wasn't perpetually stuck in an uncertain mindset, which caused extreme guilt.
Of course there was guilt, his conscience still very much remained. He was married, and the fact that he'd been unfaithful would never go away. But he'd broken his vows long ago. What's done was done, and there was no going back, whether tonight had happened or not.
But he wasn't waiting anymore. He was done with that. He was doing something for him now, for once. He'd waited long enough for something he thought he'd never get to have.
And now, he had it.
Olivia woke up before it was even light outside. The curtains were closed, but she could tell it was dark out as she looked around the dark hotel suite.
The only thing she could see was Fitz's face next to her, as the sound of his quiet breathing filled her ears.
She smiled, admiring his handsome face. Neither of them had shifted much at all throughout the night, because they were as close as they'd been when they fell asleep. They had a king-sized bed and everything, and yet here they were.
She didn't even want to know what time it was. And surprisingly, she wasn't too tired, despite staying up extremely late. It would likely hit her later. Oh well.
She ran her fingers gently through his soft curls, which were growing longer every day. They were extra curly from their shower last night, which she assumed was because he hadn't done anything to it afterward, and this was what it looked like first thing in the morning. She'd seen it once before already, and it was pretty adorable.
And there she laid like that for a while, appreciating his defined features, and his strong chest. And of course, the rest of his body that she could feel against her own. Naked as could be.
She stopped running her fingers through his hair and just laid there with him so she didn't wake him up. She was content to just appreciate his sleepy self, anyway. But he began to stir on his own soon thereafter.
They were both used to getting up quite early every day.
He exhaled deeply and began to shift next to her, before letting out a yawn and opening his eyes slowly.
They met hers and she instantly saw the smile in his eyes before he actually smiled at her.
"Hi baby," he whispered.
"Hi you," she whispered back, bringing her fingers back to his hair.
He smiled, closing his eyes again. She watched him relax the way she'd always noticed he did when she gave him any sort of affection.
She couldn't help it; she leaned forward and kissed him, which he wasn't expecting. So then she went further, and started to plant kisses all over his face. He smiled brightly through it all, wrapping his arms around her tightly.
That smile just got her.
"My smiley," she whispered, kissing his lips a few more times.
"Mhm," he chuckled, pulling her closer. "I love you."
"I love you," she replied, kissing her way down his neck. He turned onto his back and pulled her with him, which allowed her to keep kissing her way down his body more easily.
He was still tired, she could tell. But she didn't stop trailing her kisses. She didn't stop even when she neared his belly button.
He lifted his head up and looked at her as soon as she completely disappeared under the duvet, trying to figure out what her plans were this morning.
He quickly realized just what those plans were.
It started off with simple kisses around his lower abdomen. She kissed his scar, that ran diagonally along his lower right side. And then she moved lower, and didn't stop. She began to press kisses along his shaft, which instantly had him growing harder and his eyes widening.
But the second she fully began to take him in her mouth, he lifted up his head again and clutched the pillow beside him.
His eyes were wide as he inhaled sharply. He looked down at her as he pushed the covers back, and saw such a sexy sight.
She was taking him fully in her mouth, but sucking solely on his tip right now—all for him to see.
She pulled back and smirked up at him. "This okay?"
He nodded with wide eyes.
"...Yes...yes—" he nodded.
The tone of surprise in his voice had her smiling, and going back down to finish what she'd started.
She'd wondered what it would be like to have him in her mouth, and it was nothing short of fantastic.
She could admire up close, what she hadn't been able to before. She could feel every inch in her mouth. She could taste him.
And she could hear him, too. He was steadily panting now, and feeling around for things to grab.
He scooted back and adjusted himself against the headboard, opening his legs a little further for her. She started to use her hands too, to drive him even crazier.
His leg bent up at the knee, and he reached for her forearm to hold on to. He felt her soft skin beneath his fingers, and her tongue moving up and down his shaft inside her mouth.
She rubbed his abdomen, and used her other hand to stroke him beneath her mouth. She played around a little bit, which he thoroughly enjoyed. He actually gasped, which made her feel even better about what she was doing to him.
She wanted him to feel so good. She'd thought many times about the night she gave him a handjob in the basement—how relaxed he felt, and how much he moaned.
Only this was better, because he was struggling even more to keep still and quiet. It was another thing she was pretty sure he hadn't experienced in forever, and it felt good to almost claim him as hers. It felt good knowing he was hers, at least in their minds. And his dick in her mouth right now—all hers. She certainly showed him.
He didn't last all that long, but she made every second of it worthwhile.
By the time he was almost finished, he watched her bob up and down on him with such a content look on his face. He was leaned back against the headboard, cupping her cheek with his hand. Glancing down at her, looking so naked and beautiful, and doing something so sexy. Watching her suck on his tip, and her fingers wrap around him.
And when he came, he watched her swallow, as the cum ran down his shaft and out of her mouth.
"Christ," he whispered, leaning his head back again and closing his eyes. His neck was going to be sore from watching all of that—good Lord what a show that had been.
His heart was pounding—something he found was very common when he was intimate with her.
She wiped her mouth and planted kisses down his length. She made her way all the way back up, as he laid there with a heaving chest.
"Good morning," she whispered, as she moved all the way up to his eye level.
"It...sure is," he panted, grabbing a hold of her bare hips above him. "I was not expecting that...at all."
"And did you like it?" she whispered, kissing his neck.
"Yes..." he nodded, moving his hands to her ass. "Yes—God, you are...wow."
She pressed a kiss to his lips, giving him a smile in between pecks. And then she just went for it, even after all that—and he pulled her in for more. Their tongues collided and she still felt him panting into the kiss.
The fact that he let her kiss him like that after she'd just blown him—so hot.
She smoothed his curls back and smiled against his lips appreciatively.
She captured his lips in one more kiss and opened her eyes, studying the blue irises gazing back at her.
"What time...is it?" he whispered.
"I don't even know," she giggled quietly. "Early."
"Yeah," he chuckled, looking over at the dark window. "I don't...want my alarm to go off."
"Me neither," she sighed, starting to kiss a spot on his neck. He laid back and let her, closing his eyes in a state of relaxation.
"Just wanna stay here...with you," he whispered sleepily.
"Don't get sleepy on me, mister," she said quietly, moving to a different spot in order to avoid leaving a mark on his skin.
"Oh trust me...I'm not anymore. Not after that. Just...recovering," he murmured, laying there with his eyes still closed. She started to laugh, and snuggled closer to him.
"It's probably my turn to...use the cum rag again, huh," he whispered.
"Yeah, I think so," she laughed, looking down between their bodies.
He smiled and reached for the nightstand, and she scooted off of him so he could clean up.
"I just wanna stay here with you too, by the way," she added. She turned into him and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arm around him. He circled his arm around her, too.
"I'll miss you when you're gone," he said quietly.
"I'll miss you too. But I'll be back before you know it," she replied, looking up at him.
"I know," he nodded.
Their comfortable silence resumed, as he tightened his grip around her. Their breathing was in sync—light, and slow.
There was something on her mind—something she wasn't sure whether or not it would ruin the mood of their little getaway. But she had to know, even if he wasn't sure himself yet. She was met with more conflicting feelings about this—shocker.
She felt she had every right to know what his plans were. If they loved each other and he was leaving his wife to be with her, she thought she had that right. But then again, he did have a wife. He had a family. Part of her couldn't help but feel like she didn't get the right to know that, because she had interfered with that family. It was definitely tough. Tough on her conscience, and on her emotions. She'd certainly dealt with that before.
So as the shine from his gold wedding ring caught her eye—the ring that marked him as someone else's, she couldn't help but ask.
"When are...you going to tell her?" she asked.
He sighed, looking down at her. "I'm just waiting for...the holidays to pass, so that...I don't completely blow them up for K. And then I'll tell her. It's not right to keep it from her anymore, regardless of how shitty our marriage is. That's not right of me to do. And...I'm not waiting to be with you anymore. I'm just not. You and I both have waited and suffered long enough, so I'm done."
She raised her eyebrows at his bluntness, and kind of smirked. "Well then."
"What?" he asked.
She smiled. "I just like your attitude."
"It's...long overdue, I think," he replied.
"How do you think...she'll take it?" Olivia asked.
She was kind of afraid of the answer, and she already felt so bad. So extremely bad. But she also didn't know what else she was supposed to do at this point. She clearly wasn't his sole reason behind all of this—Karen was as well. He was going to leave anyway, according to him, and like he said, it was long overdue. But she still felt bad.
"I'm not really sure," he replied. "She won't take it well, that much I'm assuming. I don't think...anybody really would. But...I know she won't do anything too drastic, either. She won't want to make it too overwhelming for Karen. We don't agree on much, but...that's one thing we can always agree on is that Karen comes first. It won't be good. And it won't be easy. But it's going to happen, regardless. It should have happened...a long time ago."
Olivia nodded along in response, tracing her fingers along his chest.
"What about Karen?" Olivia asked.
"Yeah," Fitz sighed. "I don't know. I really don't. It's hard for me to imagine what she will think about it. Clearly...she already knows that Mellie and I have issues. I don't know that...separation and divorce will necessarily surprise her, considering she's probably been thinking about our issues for quite some time now. She's smart. Smarter than...we thought she was at her age. But I do think it will be tough for her, and I have to admit I'm afraid of that. Because it's all she's ever known, and...I'm sure it's still somewhat confusing as a child. And...when it comes to...you, I have no idea how...she'll take that."
"Yeah," Olivia nodded sadly. "I love her so much. And yet...I've betrayed her. I think a part of me, a selfish part, is scared she won't ever forgive me."
He sighed sadly, and nodded. "Me too, Liv. Me too."
She laid her head back down on his chest solemnly, and continued to trace her fingers over his muscular pecs.
"Defying the world is hard."
"It is," he agreed quietly. "But in my heart, I just feel...this will be better. For everyone. I just...think it will be. It has to be."
"I think so too," she nodded.
He looked down at her pretty face, laying on his chest. His head was propped up higher with a couple pillows.
"And...how are you taking it?" he whispered, brushing some of her twists out of her face. "I know this is...the absolute worst time for you to be going through this. In the midst of...college applications and all."
She shrugged. "I'm okay. I'm...I'm more worried about you. And K."
"Well, I'm equally worried about you," he said. "How are you, baby."
"I'm okay," she assured him in a whisper. "I'm...I'm still processing the fact that...this weekend has even happened. I'm still processing what I read in that book on Thursday night. I didn't think...I guess I was so scared something like this wouldn't happen."
He looked at her sadly and leaned forward to kiss the top of her head.
"I was so sad, Fitz. All this time. I was such a mess; it was one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life—being done with you. And I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, because we both went through it. You felt it all too. I'm just telling you because...I want you to know how happy I was to read what you wrote in that book."
He nodded at her and gave her a brief smile. "I didn't think you'd let me tell you in person."
She giggled, looking over his face. "You're probably right. You figured out a way to...get past our rules."
"Yeah," he chuckled. "It was either that or blurting it out randomly so that...you'd let me talk. 'Hey, Liv, what kind of coffee do you want today—by the way I'm in love with you,'" he said, giving her an example.
She burst out laughing, snuggling into his chest. "Your form of communication was a little more romantic."
"It was, wasn't it?" he nodded. "Can I be proud?"
"You absolutely can," she giggled, rubbing his chest.
He exhaled deeply, rubbing her bare back contently.
"I'm just...still so sorry about everything. It hurts me to know you were so sad. I know you hate it when I apologize, but I'm just so sorry. I won't ever be able to say it enough."
"You don't need to be," she whispered. "You don't."
He put his finger under her chin and leaned in, touching his lips to hers.
"I love you," he murmured, kissing her again. "I love you so much. You are amazing."
"I love you too, Fitz," she whispered, kissing him once more before propping herself up on his chest. "You are amazing. How have you been doing with all of this?"
"I've been okay," he replied with a nod. "I'm the least of my worries."
"Well, you aren't the least of mine," she said. "How have you been doing, Fitz. Really been doing. You know what I'm asking."
He swallowed hard and ran his free hand through his messy curls.
"I'm alright. Mostly, I can never get out of my own head. Thinking about everything that could go wrong and who I'm going to hurt. Thinking about what I'm going to do. Overthinking," he said.
"Oh, Fitz," she sighed. "I'm sorry."
He shrugged. "I'm used to it, Livvie. Trust me, I'm very used to this."
"I know. But...how is this comparing to last time? I don't want...you know, I just really don't want this to be a huge subject of anxiety for you," she said worriedly.
He shrugged. "The thing is...everything is a subject of anxiety for me, Liv. Everything. Even little things. This is too, of course. It's...a big deal, and a big change, and a lot going on. And I'm constantly thinking about it. But...it's what I want. I know that now. So...I just have to deal with it. Just like...I have to deal with the other consequences, too. The difference now is...I know this is what I want to do, so...that makes it a bit easier."
"I just...hate that you have to deal with it. Is there...anything else to help you too? You've mentioned medication before," she replied.
"Yeah," he nodded. "Everything I've tried has either not helped at all, or made it worse for me. Trust me, I've dealt with it since I was a kid. Since...even before my dad passed. I just...have learned to cope in other ways."
"Have you...tried them all? The different types of medication?" she asked.
"Well, no," he shook his head.
"Maybe you should keep trying," she whispered, running her fingers through his hair. "Maybe you just haven't found the right one."
He shrugged. "It's just...kind of difficult. Some can be addictive. Some have awful side effects for me. It's definitely a process to be on one for a period of time, then go off of it, and start a new one."
"I could imagine," she nodded. "I just feel awful about it."
"Don't feel bad, Liv," he replied. "Trust me. I've learned. I'm okay."
"Okay. Okay," she nodded quietly. "I won't push anything. It's not my call. I just...want you to be okay. Truly okay. That's all I want."
"I'm okay," he smiled, holding her tight. "I've got you now. You're...you're an anxiety cure."
"Oh, I am?" she giggled, smiling at him.
"Uh-huh," he nodded confidently.
"I was pretty sure I was the opposite of that, considering past events," she laughed, kissing his cheek.
"No, no. I've just got my shit partially figured out now," he assured her, leaning in for a kiss. "As much as...I, Fitz Grant, can have it figured out."
"Ohhh, okay, I see," she giggled, holding his head in her hands.
He smiled, and then checked the nearest phone, which happened to be hers. It read just past 6 a.m.
"We've got some time. You wanna shower with me?" he asked.
"Wait," she said, reaching for her phone. She'd briefly seen a mail notification from her Gmail app. Her Gmail was the email she used for her resume, her college applications, and anything remotely professional.
"What's up?" he whispered, watching her pull her phone toward her.
She quickly opened up the app, before she even read the preview on the lock screen. She was hoping so desperately that she'd gotten an automated email—a very important automated email, from the NYU Office of Admissions.
And holy shit.
She gasped, putting her hand over her mouth.
"Liv—can I be let in on this?" he chuckled.
She nodded and scooted off of him to lay on her back next to him.
"I've been waiting and waiting to hear back from NYU. I'll get a letter in the mail too, if I get in. But I get an email first that lets me know if I got in or not. And I got the email," she said, looking at it with wide eyes.
His eyes widened too, and he looked down at her screen. "What? What does it say?"
"I don't know! I haven't...I'm afraid to open the email!" she exclaimed, covering her eyes.
"Open it!" he exclaimed quietly with a laugh.
"Ahh! Okay. Okay. Oh my God," she said, feeling her heart start to race. This was the moment she'd been waiting for for years. And it felt crazy to know she'd have her answer in a mere matter of seconds.
He snuggled up to her shoulder, looking at the screen with her.
"You smell nice," she whispered.
"Don't stall," he chuckled. "Open the email. But thank you."
She sighed, laughing nervously. "Sorry. I'm giving us both anxiety right now."
"Yes you are," he laughed.
"Okay, okay," she nodded. "Here we go."
She clicked the email to expand it further, and scanned the email quickly.
But all she had to see was the first line of the email to know what her answer was.
Dear Olivia,
I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted for admission to New York University this fall.
They both reacted at the same time.
"Oh my God—"
"Yes! Liv!—"
She gasped, looking up at him with a wide smile and happy eyes, and he gave her the exact same happy look.
"You did it!" he exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her tighter.
"Oh my God," she said, snuggling closer to him and looking over her phone again. She read the entire email twice, which was sent from the office of admissions and signed by the director.
And for the second time in two days—for something she loved dearly—she began to cry.
And both times into Fitz's chest.
"Awww, Olivia," he smiled, hugging her tight.
"I've wanted this for so long," she sniffled. "Sorry...I'm crying. All I do is cry lately—Jesus, I hate this, what is with me."
"That's okay," he chuckled, rubbing her arm. "I know how much this means to you! And in your defense...you've been through...a lot lately."
She nodded into his chest, wiping her dumb tears away.
"Can I say...I told you?" he whispered, using his thumb to wipe her damp eyes.
"Yes, you can," she cried, hugging him.
"I told you," he whispered, kissing her lips. "You are the most intelligent, driven, amazing person I know. You deserve this so much."
"Thank you," she whispered, letting out a quiet sigh. "Thank you, Fitz."
"You are welcome," he nodded. "I'm so happy for you. So happy for you. And so happy you're gonna be in my home state for...the rest of your life? Can I say it?"
"You can say it," she nodded with a laugh. "I am...never leaving. Well—aside from a few breaks here and there, maybe," she laughed.
"That's alright," he laughed. "But...this is where you belong."
"I think so too," she smiled, kissing his nose.
He smiled at her, and pressed his lips to hers again.
"I'm so proud of you," he said.
"Thank you," she replied gratefully.
"You gonna wait to tell your mom in person tonight?" he asked.
"Yeah, I think so," she nodded with a smile. "Wow. I was not expecting today to be the day."
"Neither was I, but...I feel so happy for you," he said, kissing her face all over.
"Thank you," she giggled. "I feel so happy too, Fitz. I really do."
"Good, baby. Good," he said, kissing the top of her head.
"Whew," she sighed, wiping her face. "What a weekend this has been."
"Got that right," he nodded. "What do you say we start to get ready to go and...I'll make you some celebratory breakfast when we get back?"
"That sounds perfect," she smiled, looking up at him. "Thank you."
"Mhm," he nodded. "Now you want to take a shower with me? Now that...we've seen some good news?"
"Yes," she nodded, pecking his lips.
"And should I...grab one of these?" he whispered, reaching for the box of condoms.
"Mmm," she smirked, kissing her way down his neck. "Please."
"Mmkay," he said, sneakily grabbing one, which made her giggle.
He turned off his alarm and she grabbed the hair binder she'd used last night to keep her hair up and out of the water's way.
Thankfully she was going to take her twists out soon, because she hadn't been able to properly care for them during this little hotel getaway. Oh well. It had been worth it.
Their shower was worth it too. She'd never had sex in the shower before, which was yet another thing he'd introduced her to this weekend.
That was fun. And slippery. And the fourth time she'd made Fitz come in the past six hours. That much she was very proud of.
It was also kind of nice to watch the sun begin to rise outside their window after their shower—with such a beautiful view.
Olivia wore her soft, white, hotel robe—partially hanging off her shoulders as she sat in bed, watching the colors of the sky change. And Fitz sat behind her, arms wrapped around her and chin on her shoulder.
She was sad to have to go that day. And she would have a lot to face when she returned. But she also had a lot to look forward to.
Going to NYU, and living her life in the city permanently. And the chance to do it all with the man she loved by her side—was just a semester away.
And there you go. That was a lot to process!
I told y'all it was coming, and I hope you liked it.
They've got a ways to go yet, but that was certainly something. They've come a long way too.
Pretty messy, in typical ASA fashion. But they're working on it!
Thanks for the support, and stay safe.
Read on,
~T