"Alright, Karen. Your turn again. Which one are you going to pick?" Mellie asked with a smile.
"Hmmm," Karen said, scanning her remaining presents. "This one!"
"Ohhh, that's a good one," Mellie nodded. "Isn't it, baby?"
He cringed on the inside, but he smiled on the outside, and nodded.
"That's right," he agreed, looking at the wrapped box that Karen held in her hands. He knew it was the jewelry box. He'd mostly picked that one out, which he was proud of.
"I can open?" Karen asked excitedly.
"You sure can, sweetie," Fitz nodded.
She tore through the wrapping paper excitedly, immediately seeing the small cardboard box that she had to open first.
When she opened it, she saw a tiny turquoise box with a white bow on it.
She gasped. "Mom has lots of these boxes!"
"That's very true, you got me," Mellie chuckled, smiling at Fitz.
He smiled too, focusing on Karen's bright, happy face.
"Tiffany & Co.," she read, turning the turquoise box around in her hand.
"You better see what's in there," Mellie smiled.
Karen pulled on the bow, smiling big, as she opened the box.
She took out a small turquoise velvet bag, and pulled it open. Inside, was a silver necklace—with a musical note pendant.
Karen gasped, holding it up proudly. "Oh—it's for my piano and my singing!"
"You're absolutely right," Fitz nodded.
"Because you're so musical and so talented!" Mellie agreed.
"Oh wow!" she said, unclasping it. "It is so pretty. Thank you!"
"You're welcome, honey," Mellie nodded.
"You're welcome. Here, you want me to put it on for you?" Fitz asked.
"Yes!" she nodded handing him the necklace.
Fitz knelt down on the ground behind her, fastening the necklace around Karen's neck. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek from behind.
"There you go. Very beautiful," he said.
"Thank you, daddy," she whispered, looking down at the beautiful silver pendant around her neck.
She turned and gave him a hug, which made Fitz smile as he held on to her.
She went to give Mellie an equally loving hug, and Fitz watched from afar. Thinking about how much he loved his little girl, and one woman who wasn't here right now. He thought about how much he'd love to have a Christmas celebration with her, too, on Christmas Eve,
Mostly he just wished to be with her and Karen. His two girls.
Not that their little family Christmas every year was bad. It was probably one of the easiest times to pretend with Mellie, just because it was a cheerful time, and Karen loved Christmas.
But this time was still harder than normal. Harder because he couldn't spend the day with that other girl he loved.
God he missed her. It hadn't even been long since he'd last been with her, and yet he was waiting patiently for the day she returned. He didn't even quite have a plan yet of when he'd get to see her. But even just having her back in New York, knowing she was there, would make him feel better.
He took a sip of his red wine, enjoying watching Karen open her remaining presents. It had been a pretty good night. Their Christmas Eve was always pretty low key. They went to a church service, had a nice dinner, exchanged between each other, and then to end the night, they'd set out cookies and milk for Santa that night. A very important part of the night for little K.
Karen also couldn't forget the carrots for the reindeer. She was always a big supporter of that.
After Fitz had successfully made sure Karen was asleep that night after all their festivities, he and Mellie began quietly putting out Santa's gifts under the tree, and filling up stockings. Of course, they filled up one for each family member; even Hank had a little stocking.
Fitz took a couple big bites out of the cookies, drank the milk, and let Hank snack on some of the carrots.
They did it all silently, and as soon as they were done, Fitz went immediately upstairs, without a word, to Mellie. Although she wasn't far behind him.
As soon as he was almost completely undressed before his shower, he walked back out in his briefs to grab some clothes to change into afterward.
She interrupted him, though.
"You gonna shower?" Mellie asked.
He turned to look at her, standing half-naked, wondering what else he could possibly be going to do right now with the bathroom fan running and him grabbing clothes for afterward. But of course, he pushed his sassy thoughts aside, and didn't say that. He just nodded instead.
"Yes."
"You wanna delay that a bit?" Mellie asked, looking up and down his body.
He raised his eyebrow. "Uhhh...as in?"
"As in do you want to relieve a little holiday stress?" Mellie asked.
He chuckled, shaking his head.
"No."
Mellie tilted her head. "Seriously? How long can you actually go?"
Surprise, he had sex three days ago.
Even if he hadn't, his answer still would have been a big fat no. The thought of sex with Mellie made him feel sick to his stomach, actually. The fact that he felt that way about his own wife, and even the conversation about sex with her made him now feel guilty in regards to Olivia, told him everything was so fucked up.
Wow, did he need out of this.
"I'm just fine, thank you," he said, heading back to the bathroom.
"We haven't had a consistent sex life in a long time, I know that, but wow. Has something...changed? I mean…you can't really expect to do it yourself and be satisfied for the rest of your life, can you?" Mellie asked sassily.
He sighed, looking back at her. "I'm not fighting with you tonight. We're not doing this on Christmas Eve. We're not going to wake up our child, or ruin her favorite holiday. Just not today."
Mellie rolled her eyes. "I wasn't trying to pick a fight with you."
"You weren't?" he asked. "Because your tone and disrespect say otherwise."
"Oh, Lord, Fitz," she laughed, shaking her head as if she found his statement funny. "You're right. We better quit while we're already behind."
"Glad we agree," he said, before he shut the door.
Ahhh yes. Silence.
He could tell she got snippy with him much quicker these days. She couldn't stand the things he said back to her now. They'd had fights throughout their entire marriage, but lately it had undoubtedly been different. He actually told her what was on his mind, without much of a filter. He didn't tiptoe. And he was gradually preparing himself to tell her in much more detail what was on his mind.
She was used to his silence, or at least, much less talking back. Now, he could tell she was having a harder time responding to him. She just got upset, and rolled her eyes, as if she couldn't believe he was continuing to talk back. Like she wasn't sure what to say in these scenarios anymore.
He had a feeling she'd have plenty to say when he started to actively bring up divorce, as well as...other things. But as he'd planned, those conversations were not for tonight.
In due time.
He took a quick shower and went immediately downstairs to the basement, passing a probably very annoyed Mellie on his way out of the bedroom.
He wasn't all that tired though, and he'd promised he'd make a call at some point tonight. A call to someone who was generally pretty worried about him, especially right now, with everything he had going on in the midst of a holiday.
"So how's your Christmas Eve been?" Abby asked.
"It's been...alright, actually. You know. As much as it can be for someone who's faking everything with his wife so his child can have a good Christmas. How about yours?" he asked casually, leaning back against his office chair.
Despite being two levels down and on the other end of the house with his office doors closed, he still made sure to speak quietly, out of an abundance of caution.
Abby sighed. "Well that wasn't very cheerful."
"Sorry," Fitz replied immediately with a laugh. "I'm sorry. You're right. It's Christmas, and it's been...good. Better than normal, I guess. Let's talk about you."
"Nah, I'm so boring compared to you," Abby replied.
They both laughed, and he shook his head. "No way. Seriously. How are you? How're your folks? And David?"
"Ohhh you know. We're all good. My uncle Bob got sloshed on egg nog today, my cousins' kid needed stitches in his head for running into a tree while sledding, and...my aunt Sharon almost spilled the beans that Santa wasn't real to my 7-year-old niece. All in one day. So You know. The usual crazy, Whelan family Christmas."
"Oh my God," Fitz chuckled, putting his hand up to his face. "That's the opposite of boring, Abbs. I hope everyone is alright after these incidents!"
"Oh, that's quite normal for my insane family, but yes, everyone is all good," Abby laughed. "David's family is crazy too, so tomorrow when we get to his aunt's, I'm sure it will be another whirlwind of a day. Okay, now, on to you. What crazy, amazing, expensive gifts did you spoil your daughter with this year? I didn't even get the rundown before Christmas, we were both so busy!"
"I know, I know. Drinks soon?" he asked.
"You fucking got it," she nodded.
"Cool. So uh...let's see. K got a lot of new books," he began. "Some of which she hasn't opened yet. From Santa."
"Oh, of course, of course," Abby nodded.
"She got...a few new science kits. Some new piano books with harder music—just for fun."
"Ahh, just for fun," Abby laughed. "She is seriously the most talented 10-year-old I know."
"Yes, likewise, I will brag," he chuckled. "Let's see, what else. Um...a necklace with a music note pendant, from...Tiffany. A couple new pairs of shoes...lots of clothes. And...an iPad. A few more things I'm probably forgetting from Santa. We usually go...pretty big."
"Yowza," Abby said. "Let me guess, the iPad is for something school-related? She wants to...learn how to design an app? Or...do all her homework on it?"
"Ha," he chuckled. "Actually no. She's had...one of those iPad minis for a while, you know, but it's gotten pretty slow. So we just got her the newest Pro. I think she mostly wants to use it for...Tik Tik, or...whatever."
"Tik Tik?!" Abby exclaimed, bursting into laughter.
"Oh I don't know," he laughed. "That one video site thing that she says 'everyone watches' now."
"Yes Fitz, it's called Tik Tok," Abby giggled.
"Oh," he blushed, laughing at her. "I don't do social media, I don't know these things. All I know is you must dance a lot on it or something. She's asked me to do some dance challenge with her before, because apparently kids do it with their parents."
"And? What did you say?!" Abby asked.
"I politely said hell no," he chuckled. "Me? Dancing? That would be no good."
"I would pay money to see that, actually," Abby said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he chuckled.
"Well, those are wonderful gifts. She's pretty lucky."
Fitz sighed, looking down at the counter. "Yeah. In...in some ways."
"I'm sorry," Abby said immediately. "That was insensitive of me. I know...you're going through some things."
"No, no, no. You're fine," he shook his head. "Trust me, it's...it's not you. At all."
Abby audibly sighed over the phone. "How are you really, Fitz? I mean...dealing with Christmas and all that right now, while you're thinking the things you're thinking. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," he shrugged. "Mostly I just feel like an even worse person for...all the pretending I'm doing now, and...how things are going to change after this. But I made a decision, and that's that."
"I hate when you say things like that about yourself," Abby said. "You know, if you say one more bad thing like that, I'm gonna have to come over there and smack you."
He started to laugh, which made her laugh too.
"That's not very nice," Fitz chuckled.
"Then be nice to yourself, you asshole!" Abby said.
"Fine. I'll try," he agreed.
"Thank you," Abby said. "Now what else. What else am I missing? Catch me up on your 'clusterfuck' of a life since the last time we talked."
Oh God. That was gonna be a lot. They hadn't talked since before he and Olivia's little...city sleepover.
"Well," he said, scratching his head. "Hmm."
"Come on, dude, it's not that hard."
"It's kind of hard, actually."
"No way. Come on. I'm not asking you to tell me all your R-rated personal thoughts or...you know, however much you have to touch yourself in the shower to get by these days. I'm just asking what's been going on with you! It's a simple question!" she said with a laugh.
He grew bright red, and was so thankful she couldn't see his face right now.
"What the hell," he said embarrassedly, scratching his head.
"Oh did I make your face go all red? Like, as red as my hair?" she asked.
He sighed, chuckling a bit. "Yes."
"You're so funny. It really does not take much to embarrass you."
"Well—you're talking about my...R-rated thoughts and...and how I spend my time in the shower—how am I not supposed to be embarrassed?!" he asked.
"You wouldn't be embarrassed if it wasn't true..." Abby said.
He could tell she was feeling sooo proud on the other end.
He was silent on his end, though, which made her burst into laughter.
"Tell me I'm wrong, dude," she laughed.
He sighed. "Some women have this...this power. They just...they know these things," he said, confused as hell. "I don't understand."
Abby couldn't stop laughing. "It's really not that hard to figure out. I certainly don't expect you're going to be screwing Mellie anymore, so that ship has sailed."
"Yeah I turned her down tonight, actually," Fitz said.
"See, there we go. You won't even tell your Goddess that you love her so I also don't expect you're getting any from her. You're definitely not the type of man to go get it from any other woman, or you would have done that years ago. So where the hell else are you going to get it? Nowhere. However. You're a man. With a penis. And I'm pretty sure men cannot go longer than a week, if even that, without an orgasm. So what does that leave? R-rated thoughts, and self-service in the shower, because where else are you gonna do it in a house with your wife and daughter. See? How accurate was I?"
His eyes were wide. Extremely wide.
"Um...mostly...accurate."
"Mostly?" Abby asked.
"Yeah..." he answered.
"Hmm, okay maybe you can last a little longer than a week—maybe. But I know it's no longer than that, otherwise I'm not sure your dick would still work."
His eyes remained wide, but his face slowly turned red again.
Because now he was thinking about the last time he had sex. He was thinking about Olivia, watching her eyes roll back in her head because he was hitting it just right. He could almost feel that feeling of her walls clenching around him in response again. Feel her fingernails digging into his skin. He could almost hear her moans, and her pleading for him to keep going.
The act of watching her orgasm, something she'd never felt until he was able to give it to her, was all that was going on in his head. He had to stop though; he had to do his best to push it out of his head or he was pretty sure he was going to end up with a raging boner.
But he still responded to Abby with the truth.
"Oh, trust me. It works."
Abby grew silent for a few moments, but then spoke up curiously.
"Hmm. Am I...taking that the wrong way, or..." she began, before pausing again. "Wait."
"Nope — waiting. we, uh...we absolutely did not do any more waiting," Fitz said.
Might as well get it out.
Abby was awestruck. "You...you and...Olivia? Wait, what?!"
Fitz smiled contently. Thinking about the night he'd spent at The Langham with Olivia. Again.
"Are you over there smiling right now? I can feel you smiling!" Abby exclaimed.
Fitz threw his hand up in the air. "How?! What on earth is — how do you do that?"
But Abby wasn't the least bit interested in her apparent female psychic powers.
"Oh my God, you so totally did it. You totally screwed her."
"I wouldn't say...I screwed her," Fitz said to extra quietly, shaking his head. "Well...okay, the, um...the third time might have been a little bit more aggressive."
"The third — what! Oh my God! What did you and that sweet, beautiful Goddess do?" Abby inquired.
He exhaled, feeling his cheeks begin to show the embarrassment he now felt.
"Oh — do not get all shy on me now. We're just getting to the good stuff! You can't leave me hanging after that!"
"I'm not actually going to talk about this," he laughed.
"I must know."
"You mustn't."
"I shall."
"You shan't."
She let out a loud sigh. "Ughh. I was so close to hearing it all. At least tell me how it was."
He smirked, all while he blushed, and nodded.
"It was the most amazing night of my life," he whispered.
"Ohhh my God," Abby shook her head. "My best friend finally boned another woman. And not only that — a woman he loves. Thank the Lord! Wow. I am so happy. This is a fantastic day. And I bet that was a fantastic day."
He smiled and nodded. "Yes."
"Olay, you need to at least give me some details here because this is...groundbreaking?! Why aren't we celebrating? Come on. it's Christmas Eve and I deserve a wonderful, beautiful gift of such knowledge."
"Didn't I give you a spa gift card and a bottle of Dom Perignon?"
"Yes, because you're a wonderful man. Now give me the deets on you and your wonderful woman! You didn't tell me this and I'm honestly kind of mad at you for it!"
He chuckled at her. "Don't be mad. I was getting to it as I caught you up on my clusterfuck of a life. It only happened...not even a week ago. At...The Langham."
"The Langham?" Abby asked. "Well that was my next question, thank God it wasn't at your house. Why The Langham though?"
"Well...first off, it all kind of started when I told her how I felt, so then...we went somewhere to talk after she saw a broadway show with her friends. This was on...Friday night. I took her to Ai Fiore, because it's, like, one of my —"
"Favorite restaurants, right, but you what?! So you did tell her?" Abby asked.
"Sorry," Fitz winced. "Okay, let me...let me start over."
So he told her. He had to go back to the beginning, explaining that she'd been right about telling Olivia, and he was glad that he had. He was glad about it all, because he knew now, where she stood and how she felt. Before, he hadn't known, and it ate at him. Plus, he hadn't been able to know what his future held, and now he at least knew that she could be part of it.
Abby was quite happy to hear that he'd followed her advice, and she thought it was cute, how it had all gone down.
Plus, the hotel getaway definitely made her happy, along with Olivia's admission of love back to him.
She hadn't seen him happy like this, and now he was confessing his love and showing it, too. It was easy for him to feel that she was a proud best friend. She even told him so.
"Finally. Finally. You are really getting there, Fitz. I still remember back at the bar when you first told me about her. And back when I met her. You've...you've come so far. Both of you."
"I know," he nodded with a smile. "Still got a ways to go. But we have come far. And it...makes me happy. It's all stressful, but I know one day it'll all pay off. That's what's getting me through. The...happy, healthy life that I want."
"With her," Abby smiled. "Thank God."
Fitz smiled back. "Yeah. With her."
Fitz awoke with a start, remembering right away that it was Christmas Day.
The first thing he did was check his phone for the time, and any messages.
It was around 7:00 am, and he did have one message so far, sent pretty early in the morning. From someone he loved.
Olivia: Merry Christmas, smiley. I love you!
He exhaled contently and immediately responded back.
Fitz: Merry Christmas, Livvie. I love you so much. Counting the days until you're back.
And before he laid in bed any longer, he decided he better go upstairs so that he was up when Karen came down for presents.
Ever since Olivia left, he'd started to sleep in the guest room she'd used. Mostly because he was getting tired of the couch, and he sure as hell wasn't going back to sleeping with Mellie.
Plus, Olivia's old room was the bigger room with the bigger bed, and closer to the bathroom, too. And, it was better than sleeping in the upstairs guest bedroom and having Karen potentially see or hear him. He still wasn't quite ready for that yet.
But Santa had come last night, so she would be downstairs somewhat early, and he had to be up there and ready. She wasn't the earliest riser, but since it was Christmas, she may be up in an hour or so. She was always pretty excited.
He made the bed quickly and went upstairs, greeting Hank who ventured to the main level shortly after he did.
"Hey bud," Fitz said, kneeling down to pet him. "Should we go outside? Why don't we do that."
His tail wagged ferociously as Fitz opened a deck door for him and he trotted out in the snow.
Fitz got his breakfast ready for the little pup and started brewing his coffee, which would be a necessity today.
It would be a long day.
Open some more presents this morning, then heading over to Mellie's mom's house for the day, before finishing the evening off at his own mother's house. It was quite the Christmas. But Karen loved the opportunity to see both sides of her family, and both sides of the family appreciated seeing all of them, too. It was a win-win, for the most part. Just a long day, hence the coffee.
Mellie awoke not too long after, eager for coffee too, so he had to brew some more. There was only about a quarter pot left by the time she got downstairs.
Karen was the last one down, actually. But that didn't slow her excitement down.
"You better go look in the living room!" Fitz said, taking a sip of his coffee.
"Yeah, it's a pretty wonderful sight in there!" Mellie agreed.
"Okay!" she nodded, disappearing to go look at the festive scene that always was Christmas morning.
That excited face would never get old. Even as she grew older, and the "magic" of Santa and Christmas died down a little for her, he had a feeling it would always be her favorite.
She was exactly the kind of girl that loved Christmas music right after Thanksgiving ended, and wanted decorations up immediately. So naturally, he tended to enjoy the holiday simply because she did.
He also was an avid Thanksgiving lover, which would never change. It was an underrated holiday in his mind. But once it was over, he didn't mind getting right into the Christmas spirit.
They certainly showed lots of Christmas spirit that day. With gift opening in the morning—all three of them, plus Hank. Then, heading to grandma Maggie's to celebrate with Mellie's family.
That was the most dreaded part for Fitz, although he hid his feelings well. He had to sit through hours of pretending and feeling out of place. The pretending, he'd gotten quite used to, of course. The feeling out of place, not so much.
It wasn't necessarily that he didn't feel liked by Mellie's family; it was quite the opposite, actually. He was pretty sure they liked him a great deal. They also didn't know everything there was to know about his and Mellie's marriage. All they saw was the good stuff. But they seemed to like him.
To Fitz, though, he just didn't feel that they all clicked. He had known all this time that he didn't belong. That it wasn't the perfect marriage—that he and Mellie didn't truly live up to the image that Mellie wanted to live up to. Perhaps his own knowledge about it being fraudulent made him feel out of place. All he knew was he was just never comfortable there, and didn't feel like a part of the family.
But Karen loved going to grandma Maggie's. So Fitz couldn't really complain too much. Plus, there were some younger cousins for her to play with and hang out with on Mellie's side, whereas his side of the family—not so much. He was at least thankful for she had that.
The last part of the day, though. That was a great way to end Christmas, in his opinion. To head on over to his mom's for Christmas dinner. To open gifts with his side of the family. It was a much smaller gathering at his mother's house.
Aside from his mom, there was his aunt Jill and uncle Nick, his cousin Wyatt and his family, which included his wife and their newborn daughter, and then his cousin, Mallory.
But not everyone spent the night, so by the time the evening began to die down, some of his family members started to leave.
Even if briefly, he appreciated getting to see his cousins. His aunt and uncle were staying the night, so he would get another night and morning with them.
The person he was most happy to talk to that night, though, was none other than his wonderful mother.
After the kitchen had been mostly cleaned, and everyone else was off getting ready for bed, or in Karen's case, reading one of the books she got as a gift, Fitz was left with just his mother in the kitchen. Enjoying actually being able to catch up, now that it was just the two of them, and she wasn't entertaining and they weren't eating, or opening gifts.
He caught her up on the usual. Work. Karen. Mellie's work. Abby—whom she had always loved. And then Olivia got mentioned as well. He'd tried to steer clear of the topic, just not even sure what to say at that point yet. But she brought it up herself.
"So...that wonderful young woman staying with you. Olivia. How is she doing?" Jean asked.
"Uh, she's...she's good, yeah," Fitz nodded. "She won't actually be staying with us anymore, going forward. She'll still be at UNIS, just...living in one of the city residences. It was...kind of always her dream to live in the city, anyway."
Jean nodded curiously, but looked sad. "Well, I commend her for all she's doing here. She is clearly an adventurous, brave, incredibly smart young woman. And I'm so glad she is truly living out her dream! But...I suppose it will be sad, not hosting her anymore?"
"Um...yeah," he agreed. "Karen took it pretty hard. She's better about it now, she understands it was what Olivia...wanted to do. But she loves her a lot, and will miss her."
Jean eyed him slowly, nodding. "Uh-huh."
He almost felt as though her look was suspicious. Like she was trying to figure something out without asking.
Okay, please no more female psychic powers...please, just not yet.
But just then, there was some ruffling and both Mellie and Karen headed down the stairs together, coming to say goodnight.
"We came to say goodnight! I think miss K's pretty tired," Mellie laughed, putting her hand on the top of Karen's head.
Karen shrugged. "Only 'cause I was reading. Dad, dad, guess how far I got in 'Gregor the Overlander'?"
"How far?" he asked with a smile.
"To page 49! It is very easy for me to read. But it is so good, dad. The best!" she nodded, coming in for a hug.
"I'm glad, sweetheart," he chuckled, leaning down for a hug too.
"Santa must have gotten your list, huh?" he smirked. "He must know all those books you want to read."
"Yeah," she giggled, accepting the kiss he planted on her cheek. "Goodnight, dad. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas K," he said with a smile. "I love you. Sleep tight."
"I love you too," she said, pulling away and heading over to her grandma to say goodnight.
Mellie said goodnight to Jean as well, graciously hugging her and thanking her for the great night as Karen pulled back.
Karen started heading toward the staircase, but waited slightly for her mom to come in that direction too.
So naturally, Mellie wrapped her arms around Fitz and pressed her lips to his. Which, he reciprocated fully. Because his mother and Karen were right there.
"Night, baby," Mellie said, pecking his lips again.
"Goodnight, Mell," he nodded. "I'll be down in a bit."
"Okay," she smiled, giving one last wave to Jean, before heading toward the stairs too. Wonderful acting.
Meanwhile, Fitz was internally cringing.
Any sort of show of affection with Mellie anymore was even more difficult for him because he loved someone else.
At least before Olivia had come into the picture, it had been bearable. He didn't have an excessive reason to hate it, he just knew he didn't love it.
Now he hated it.
But he kept a pleasant look on his face as he turned back to his mother, so they could continue their conversation. At least, he hoped it looked pleasant.
Jean studied Fitz, before speaking up.
"How are you doing, son? How are you really doing?"
"I'm...good, mom. I'm good. Why do you ask?" he asked.
"I can't ask how my boy's doing?" she asked back.
"Of course you can. It just seemed like...you think I'm doing worse than I'm letting on," he said.
"Are you?" she asked.
"No..." he answered, shaking his head.
She gave him an uncertain look. "Hmm. Fitzgerald, do you know I can read you like a map?"
"Uhh," he chuckled, shaking his head nervously.
"Mmmhm. See. Now you're anxious," she said, reading his face.
He rolled his eyes. "Mom. I'm always—"
"Always anxious, I know, darling. Just like your grammy Mae was. But there's not something else going on? Something you haven't told me?"
He sighed, looking at her intently. So much for avoiding that.
Should he say something? No. Yes? Ugh.
"Well. What if...there was?" he asked.
She shrugged casually. "Then...you can tell me or not, that part doesn't matter to me as much. If you're comfortable enough, or want some motherly advice, then by all means. But you don't have to tell your good old mother everything — I certainly know I never told my parents everything. My main concern is just that you are okay, Fitz. Just tell me if you are okay, because I've gotten the feeling that you are not."
He sighed. "I'm fine, mom. I am."
She raised an eyebrow at her son. "Did you not hear me when I said I could read you like a map?"
He started to laugh quietly, which made her laugh a little bit too.
"I'm not saying...there's isn't something else going on with me," he nodded. "But I'm saying I'm fine. I will be fine. People are so worried about me...trust me, I should be the least of anyone's worries."
He felt like the problem, really.
She looked at him questioningly.
"You are my son. My only child. My boy. Of course I am going to worry about you, Fitzgerald. And guess what, you are in absolutely no position to tell me not to. Because you are the most important thing to me in the world. You and my sweet little granddaughter. Always. You hear me?" she asked.
He smiled, nodding at her. "I hear you, mom."
"You will always be my number one. Always my main concern, and I will always be on your side. You're just going to have to deal with it, honey, I'm sorry."
"That's...very sweet of you, mom," he chuckled, leaning down to give her a hug. "I love you lots."
"I love you too," she said, patting his back. "My boy. My sweet boy. I don't care what it is. I'm always going to support you, because I know you. I know what a wonderful man you are, Fitzgerald."
He looked at her appreciatively, and nodded.
"Thanks, mom."
"Mmhm," she smiled. "Now who else has been worrying about you?"
"Oh. Just...Abby. You know how she can be," he shrugged.
He decided it was best to leave out Olivia on that one...
Jean nodded understandingly. "Well, there's a reason I love her so much. She's always cared so much about you, Fitzgerald. A true friend, really. How are she and her husband doing these days?"
"They're great," he smiled. "Yeah, hopefully, I can get something planned with both of them soon. Last I heard they were having a pretty fun, crazy Christmas."
"Well good," Jean laughed. "I'm glad to hear it. Give them my best, will you?"
"Of course I will," he nodded.
She nodded back contently.
He sighed, looking around the kitchen and into the vast living room. Full of Christmas decorations and leftover wrapping paper still.
"It was a good Christmas."
"Yes, it was," Jean nodded, patting Fitz's back. "I'm always sad when they come to an end."
"Me too," he nodded, wrapping his arm around his mother's shoulder. "You tired?"
"You know, I am," she nodded. "Hosting is kind of tiring!"
"I bet!" he chuckled. "Why don't you head to bed, mom. I'll clean up a bit."
"Well!" she scoffed. "I certainly can do it, Fitz, there's no need."
"Mom," he said. "You're tired, go to bed! You've had a long day. There isn't much to pick up anyway. Just let me take care of it."
"Oh, Fitzgerald, are you sure?" she asked uncertainly.
"Positive," he nodded. "I have to take Hank out to the bathroom anyway."
She sighed, looking around with a nod. "Well thank you, honey. I do appreciate it."
"No problem at all, mom. Thank you for a great Christmas. We always love to come see you and spend time here."
"Ohhh," she said, leaning in for another hug. "Me too."
He chuckled, hugging her tightly back. "Goodnight, mom."
"Goodnight, my boy. Hey — bright and early, I'll have our coffee ready."
"Sounds great," he nodded, as she pulled away.
"See you in the morning!"
"See you in the morning," he replied, as she headed upstairs to bed.
He sighed, looking around the kitchen. It was mostly clean, but the dishwasher could be loaded with a few more things and the counters could be wiped off.
So that's exactly what he did. And after that, he went out to the living room and picked up some of the extra wrapping paper lying around, and packed up some of the gifts Karen had gotten this evening.
As he cleaned and packed up, he had an idea.
He pulled out his phone to text Olivia.
They hadn't been texting since this morning after they wished each other a Merry Christmas, both knowing beforehand that they'd be busy. But he figured now, at almost 11:30 his time, she may be less busy. Either that, or she'd be asleep, which was fine. She could wake up to a text from him if that was the case.
Fitz: Hey you.
He turned on vibrate and slipped it in his pocket as he finished up the living room so that he'd feel it if she responded.
And he felt it vibrate after a few minutes, which brought a smile to his face.
Olivia: Hey you!
Fitz: How are you? How's your Christmas been?
He went to see if Hank wanted to go outside one last time, and right away at Fitz's words, he got up and wagged his tail as if to say "of course I do!"
He currently had his travel kennel all set up in the living room, so it was where he'd been lounging for a few hours.
Fitz bundled up and took him outside to pee quickly, and then brought him in and started shutting off lights on the main level. The only thing was now, he was texting Olivia.
Not only that, but he didn't want to go downstairs yet.
So he kept a hallway light on, and settled down on the couch with the drink he still had, and pulled out his phone to read her most recent response.
Olivia: I'm good! It's been a great day. How about you?
Fitz: Good. Miss you though.
Olivia: I miss you too.
He sighed, looking down at the screen longingly.
Fitz: Wish I could kiss you goodnight and tell you I love you in person.
Olivia: Me too. I wish a lot of things. But you can tell me now, since you can't in person. :)
He smiled, laughing internally.
Fitz: I love you. So much.
Olivia: How much?
Fitz: More than our love for coffee combined.
Olivia: Oh my! I am one lucky girl, because by my calculations, that's a LOT!
His smile couldn't be contained, as he looked down at the screen.
Fitz: Told you. I meant what I said.
Olivia: I love you too, Fitz. I can't wait for that kiss, by the way.
He ran his fingers through his hair and bit his lip.
Fitz: Me too. Just think about our most recent night together. Tides you over.
Olivia: Hmm...which part should I be thinking about?
He started to smirk and wondered how interesting this conversation could get on Christmas night, while his family currently slept in different parts of his mother's house. He decided it probably wasn't the best time to get dirty over text. Or, as dirty as he could, considering he'd never even done that before. However, he would still tell the truth.
Fitz: Every part. All of it was amazing, both the morning and the night.
Olivia: You've got that right, baby.
Fitz: God I miss you. Maybe we can call soon?
Olivia: Absolutely. We'll have to find a time that works for us in the next couple days. Miss your voice.
Fitz: Yes, let's do that. Please. Miss your voice too.
Olivia: Sounds good. Unfortunately I'm fighting off sleep right now, I can barely keep my eyes open! Can I text you tomorrow?
Fitz: Of course, I don't want to keep you up. Sleep well.
Olivia: Thanks, you too. Goodnight, smiley.
Fitz: Goodnight, baby. I love you.
Olivia: I love you too.
Olivia's holidays had gone pretty similarly to Fitz's. She'd spent her Christmas Eve and Christmas with her mom, her uncle Frankie, his girlfriend, Anne, and her grandfather, Sam. Then, they'd gone to see her dad's parents on Christmas Day. She and her mom still had a great relationship with his parents, all of them having come together because of the wonderful man that was her dad.
Olivia knew them more than she knew their son, her own father. It made her sad. But also, she was grateful his parents were still alive for her to have a relationship with. It felt like he was still with them that way. And from the pictures she'd seen of her dad, his dad, Joseph, was the spitting image of him, just older.
They really enjoyed seeing Olivia and Marie as often as possible as well. Olivia was their grandchild after all, and they still treated Marie like their daughter-in-law after all these years. Truly, she still was.
Olivia and Marie had also been working at Marie's restaurant a lot. Olivia had been balancing it enough to where it was still a nice break from school and she got some free time, but worked enough hours to where she'd have a nice paycheck in a couple weeks. Plus, her best friend always spent a good portion of her winter break up at her grandmother's house for an extended stay, so she couldn't exactly hang out with her. Although, she did go chill with a few of her other high school friends she hadn't seen since the summer.
But on the night of the 26th, Olivia was pretty pumped. Because Shawn was coming over to stay, after finally coming back from her grandma's.
"Girllll!" Shawn shouted, closing Olivia's front door behind her.
Olivia gasped from her bedroom. "Shawn?"
"Mmmhm. Ya girl's coming, don't even sweat it," Shawn said, making her way across the house to Olivia's bedroom. Olivia could hear it.
"Oh my God, finally," Olivia shouted. "I was about to call up your grandma Wanda and tell her to send your ass back home!"
"My ass?" Shawn exclaimed, stopping in Olivia's doorway. "Your ass been the one in New York City for half a damn year!"
"And I've been waiting for you back home in this freezing ass state for five days!" Olivia exclaimed.
"Ayyyeee!" Shawn exclaimed, coming to hug her. "Missed you these past weeks, Liv."
"Missed you too! How was your grandma's house?" Olivia asked.
"Oh, you know. It was alright. Good to see the fam, I always miss them throughout the year. Christmas is the best. But also gets kinda long when you up there for almost a week. Glad to be home again. How about you, how was your Christmas?"
"It was great," Olivia nodded. "Had a great day with my family too."
"Oh good, good. Your mama at the restaurant?"
"Mhm," Olivia nodded. "Thankfully I have the night off."
"Thankfully. I was gonna whoop your ass if you didn't, cause I missed you!"
Olivia laughed. "I'm honored. You came here before you went to see Marcus even!"
"Oh hell. I see that pretty boy all the time — thank you Jesus. But I don't see you all the time, so that boy's just gonna have to wait!"
"Now I'm even more honored. I bet he missed you the past few days too."
"Yeahhh, he says so," Shawn smiled. "Were gonna have breakfast tomorrow."
"Aw, good!" Olivia said, sitting back down on her bed.
Shawn joined her, looking around Olivia's messy room. "By the way, I love you, but it looks like a tornado hit this room."
"I know," Olivia laughed, looking around. "I'm not on break for very long so I'm just trying to get ahead and...plan on what I'm bringing back to the city. My room now will be much smaller, so it'll be a struggle."
"Ughh, no more walk-in closet, or bathroom to yourself," Shawn said, giving her a sad look.
"Nope, no more," Olivia shook her head. "But, I did just find out today what residence I got. It's pretty nice, actually, I was able to see pictures. I mean, it's tiny. But it's an en suite-style, so I only have to share a bathroom with one girl. Her name is Greta."
"Okay, now see, that is nice. Your own room, shared bathroom with one person, even if it's tiny, I mean oh well! It's just for you anyway! And if you got some visitors — that's okay. Nice and snuggly — ain't no problem."
"Mmhm..." Olivia smiled, feeling herself blush. "Visitors."
Shawn nodded, but began to give her an odd look.
"Girl..."
"...Girl..." Olivia laughed back.
"Okay, now I assume you ain't gettin' all weird and blushy about Greta comin' to visit you or somethin'."
Olivia burst into laughter, shrugging at her best friend.
"Hey, you never know, Greta could be amazing," Olivia said. "I sure hope she is."
"Uh-huh, yeah, whatever, so what on earth did I miss?" Shawn asked, snuggling up next to her.
Olivia smiled as she looked down at her comforter, trying to figure out the right words to explain to her friend the magic that was last weekend. She'd purposefully waited to tell her in person, not while she'd been away at her grandparents. Only now that she was in the moment, all she could do was sit there and blush like an idiot.
Luckily, she was saved from having to find the words to explain, from a message notification that popped up on her phone.
All Shawn needed to see was who it was from, to start piecing things together about who potential "visitors" could be.
The name on her screen was "Fitz".
Shawn's eyes instantly widened and she looked back and forth between the name and Olivia.
So then Olivia started looking back and forth too, and the blushing increased.
Turned out Shawn didn't have any words either. All she had was a scream.
"Ahhhh!" Shawn exclaimed, grabbing Olivia's arm.
Olivia immediately put her hand over her mouth, smiling against her palm with slight embarrassment.
"What have I missed, bitch?!" Shawn exclaimed.
"A decent amount, actually," Olivia said with a sigh. But she still smiled.
"And you haven't told me?!" Shawn asked.
"Hey, I was waiting to tell you in person!" Olivia shrugged.
"Okay, well tell away! Fill me in!" Shawn said.
"Okay," Olivia laughed. "Well...um. The last couple nights before I left New York...I was made aware of something. Or...well, a lot of things."
"Like?" Shawn asked excitedly.
Olivia smiled and looked around for something that would give Shawn a pretty good summary.
Her eyes landed on the wonderful book next to her on her nightstand — she couldn't seem to keep it far away these days. "Jane Eyre."
Olivia handed it to Shawn, feeling her cheeks just as warm as before. That had become pretty normal these days too.
Shawn stared at it curiously.
"Okay, Liv, you know I love you and all your nerdy traits but for the love of God, I don't read anything longer than the baking directions on a box of brownies."
"Flip to the last page. The one that's bookmarked," Olivia laughed, shaking her head.
"Ahh! See! Now this I'm good at. Directions," Shawn nodded, flipping to the bookmarked page.
Olivia cracked up as she watched her friend scan the page.
She could see the exact moment that she found the handwriting.
Her eyes got big again and she inched her glasses down to the bridge of her nose.
"Now wait a goddamn second —"
Olivia gave her an "I know!" look and nodded.
"He lent you this...?"
Olivia nodded.
"And he wrote...?"
Olivia nodded again.
"In his stupid ass precious male handwriting..."
Olivia nodded while also laughing again.
Shawn's mouth dropped. "Oh my God. Oh my God."
"That's exactly what I said when I read it," Olivia laughed quietly.
She had to give Shawn some context, too, just to remind her; about their little deal. That he would lend her any book she wanted to read, as long as she finished "Jane Eyre."
Because you shouldn't stop short of something, if you didn't want to miss out on something incredible.
And she showed him what he'd written when he'd given the book to her.
Whatever you do, just make sure you read till the end this time. It's important.
Shawn looked, shocked, back down at the handwriting on the last page again.
"Girl whatttt," Shawn said, beginning to wipe her eyes. "He even told you in such a nerdy fashion I'm literally gonna start crying up in this bitch!"
"Also — exactly what I did," Olivia giggled, smiling at Shawn.
"Oh my — I can't even believe this! I mean, not the fact that he loves your ass — join the club — but that he told you and...and shit! Well then what? What happened? What did you tell him?!" Shawn asked.
"I...told him the truth," Olivia shrugged. "I told him I loved him too."
"Ahhhhh!" Shawn exclaimed. "And then?"
"And then," Olivia began with a laugh. "And then...he told me some other things. About...leaving her. And wanting to be with me. We talked about...our future, Shawn. We don't really know what it looks like. All we know is...we love each other and his marriage isn't a marriage. He's going to...make some steps toward leaving. For real."
Shawn sat there, wide-eyed, and with an open mouth. Again.
"Mister shy man figured out his shit!" Shawn exclaimed. "Holy mother fuck — mister shy man out here makin' decisions and confessin' in books. Someone come get him! Damn!"
"I was...not expecting it whatsoever," Olivia shook her head. "He made me sob. Everything he said...I mean, we couldn't stop saying the words that weekend. We still can't stop saying the words — neither of us have felt it, you know? It's just...it's so amazing, Shawn. He just makes me feel like I haven't ever felt before. And knowing I do the same to him...that's something. I can't even describe it."
"Damn right that's something! That's what he needs, that's what he's been missin'! You showed him, Liv. That's my girl! Shit!" Shawn exclaimed.
Olivia smiled, feeling slightly embarrassed as she proceeded on.
"Are you gonna ask...'and then' again?"
Shawn grew excited. "Ohhh bitch. You mean there's more?!"
Olivia nodded, a smile present on her face.
"There's more."
"Ohhh shit. Let me settle on in here," she said, grabbing a blanket and snuggling under it. "Alright, go on. I'm ready, I think. Depending on what it is."
Olivia nodded and briefly went over how she had gone to see "Wicked" with her friends, which Shawn had known about for a while. But what happened after the show, Shawn didn't know.
And she was intrigued the minute Olivia mentioned the dessert place they went to talk things through at, which was in The Langham hotel.
"Now wait a minute. Is this night going where I think it's going or do I just have a dirty ass mind? You said hotel — my thoughts instantly went somewhere."
Olivia tapped her fingers on her lips. "Hmmm."
Shawn started smacking the comforter. "You! You did not!"
"Ummm," Olivia laughed, feeling the warmth return to her cheeks.
"For real? Legit?" Shawn asked.
Olivia nodded silently, feeling the smile spread across her face.
"At a bougie ass hotel?"
"Uh-huh," Olivia nodded.
"Okay — whew. Let me...let me catch my breath here," Shawn said. "Damn!"
"Damn is right," Olivia nodded, biting her lip. "I mean...Jesus."
"Yeah?" Shawn asked, growing excited. "Are we talking...good good?"
Olivia nodded, eyes wide. "Good good."
"How good? A girl needs to know," Shawn inquired, leaning closer.
Olivia tried to find the right words to describe, but there were so many details swirling around in her mind. So many visuals, and images that would never leave. Thankfully.
And, that had only been one night. Their first night. She still had so much to explore with him—something she'd literally had dreams about. Quite dirty dreams.
She settled on something that had blown her mind, because he'd done it with such ease.
"Let's just say...I'd never quite experienced some things that he made me...experience," Olivia said suggestively.
Shawn got up from Olivia's bed, letting out an excited "ouuu!"
She stood there, with her palm against her mouth, looking questioningly at Olivia.
"You talkin'..." she began, before mouthing "big" and shaping her fingers into an "O."
Olivia nodded with a smirk. "More than once."
"Oouuuu!" Shawn exclaimed, starting to do a little dance by Olivia's bed.
Olivia laughed as she watched Shawn move her hips and dance in very clear excitement for her friend.
"Ohh, mister shy man out here with that stroke gameee!" Shawn exclaimed, putting her hand to her chest.
Now Olivia was really blushing, but she was more so just dying of laughter at her friend.
"Wow. Girl — congratulations. Seriously, congrats. That right there — is an anomaly. Your first night, too? And he was out here showing you what you were missin'? Providing you with that magic D? That's it. That right there, is it."
"Yeah it was," Olivia nodded. "It was amazing. It was...seriously, I was a little nervous, just because...it had been a while for me. And he made me feel so calm. And then...just going that far with him. Especially after telling each other how we really felt...I'm never going to forget that night."
"Well hell no! Not after all that. Are you kidding? He's so...quiet? And...and shy, too — but he's out here with big moves?! A gentleman about it all and generous, too. Giving. Mmmhm. That's it right there."
Olivia giggled. "He is quiet and shy. But as you said...big moves. And I mean...I'm only basing this off of one night, we certainly haven't done everything in the book or anything, so...I was very..."
"Satisfied?" Shawn smirked.
"...Yes," Olivia laughed. "And...I was generous, too, by the way, if I do say so myself."
Shawn gave her a look and smirked. "Oh were you now?"
"I was," Olivia nodded. "Look — he's a quiet man. But he certainly wasn't quiet that night. Or that morning."
Shawn's eyes opened completely and she put her hand up to her mouth.
"My fucking bitchhh," Shawn said, starting to clap her hands. "Delicious. Fantastic. Exquisite. I am enjoying myself so much right now."
"I figured you would be," Olivia laughed.
"I mean look at you! Out here giving that man handies in the dark, fucking him in bougie hotels, showing him what he's been missin' and shit. Ooooeee!" Shawn exclaimed.
Olivia shook her head with a laugh.
"Well girl, that sounds like the most perfect night ever, especially your last night stayin' with him and everything," Shawn nodded.
"It was," Olivia said, looking down at her bed with a smile. "He is so perfect to me."
"Well shit, he's perfect to me, too. Can we run down the list again? Woke, rich, nice, a good cook, super hot, and actually knows what to do with his cock? Does he have a brother?"
"Unfortunately, no," Olivia laughed. "He's an only child, like yours truly."
"Damn," Shawn shook her head. "Well—that's okay. I got a man, and he clearly got all these perfect genes rolled into one person. And that person that is yours."
"Yeah," Olivia smiled. "I already miss him like crazy. I've literally slept in his shirt every single night," she said, fishing a T-shirt she had of his out from under the pillow next to her.
All it was, was a dark gray T-shirt. There was nothing special about it, other than the fact that it was his and it faintly smelled like him. She'd practically stolen it from him as he was changing back at his house the morning she'd left to come home. She had only been playing around, but he had told her to keep it for real, and she hadn't complained. So here it was, with her in North Dakota.
"Aww! That's so cute, Liv. It's so big, oh my Jesus," Shawn said. "Wow — that sounded dirty as fuck, sorry not sorry."
Olivia burst into laughter but pointed Shawn with a smirk. "I mean...that too."
"Girrrrl," Shawn laughed, raising her eyebrows.
Olivia shrugged and gave Shawn a smile. "Anyways. Yes. He is quite large. I mean, just...a lot of muscle really. That, and he towers over me."
"Damn. How tall is the man?" she asked.
"6'1", maybe 6' 2"," Olivia answered.
"Ohhh the Lord really blessed him. Can he get any better? Seriously. Time to add height to this man's amazing list."
"He is amazing," Olivia nodded proudly.
Any chance she got to talk him up, she was doing it. It was crazy how much she loved him.
"Well, you got the shirt to keep him on your mind. And clearly, you must text a lot too, right?" Shawn asked, gesturing to Olivia's phone.
"Yeah," Olivia smiled, looking at her phone. They both looked at the screen as she unlocked her phone to see what he'd said.
Fitz: Hi you. How was work?
Shawn smiled. "Girl, he is so cute."
"He's extremely cute," Olivia nodded, texting him back.
Olivia: Hi you! Work was good. How are you doing?
He was texting back within an instant.
Shawn raised her eyebrows.
"Oh girl. He is hooked. On. You," Shawn said, putting her hand up to her mouth. "You've got that man textin' you back in .2 seconds."
Olivia was laughing, texting her response. "We both do that."
Fitz: I'm glad work was good. I'm good. Started to read that book you recommended because I was missing you.
Olivia blushed, shutting her phone off as Shawn went nuts.
"My Lord! This man! I can't handle your guy's nerdy cuteness. You know who he reminds me of?" Shawn asked.
"Who?" Olivia laughed.
"Them white boys singing those love songs that girls go crazy about," Shawn said.
"What?" Olivia asked, bursting into laughter.
"Oh you know what I'm talking about. I don't know. Lewis Capaldi. James Arthur. Ed...motherfucking Sheeran. You know. They're a very specific breed," Shawn said.
"I think that's a compliment?" Olivia laughed.
"It is. Hey, I won't lie...I've listened to my fair share of white boys singing love songs. I am not ashamed," Shawn said, which made Olivia laugh. "He just seems like the romantic type. I mean, for the love of sweet Jesus, he told you he loved you at the end of a damn classic novel."
"Yes," she nodded with a laugh. "He's pretty cute. Definitely has a romantic side."
"It shows," Shawn smiled, nodding down to Olivia's phone. "You better text that precious man back right this second."
"I will, you're making me nervous!" Olivia laughed, fiddling with her phone.
"Girl, fine, I won't look!" Shawn said, covering her eyes, which made Olivia giggle. "I'm just happy you two are texting back and forth when you're gone. Clearly, your asses are too hooked on each other not to."
"You can look," Olivia laughed, sending him a text back before putting her phone down. "And yes. We're both pretty busy but we do whenever we have the chance. We're even trying to find a time to call. I've gotta just...keep an eye out for my mom when I do, considering she knows who Fitz is and...obviously I'm not ready for her to know that I'm calling him. And texting him. And...in love with him. And...you know, he has a wife he has to basically hide from. So trust me, we've very clearly still got...our issues."
"Yeah. But who doesn't?" Shawn asked. "I mean, seriously, who doesn't have their issues. Everyone's got somethin' goin' on. And your guys' situation is difficult. Very difficult. But y'all are already proving my theory. Y'all are ending up together. Mhm."
Olivia smiled. "Thanks, Shawn."
"Oh, that ain't no problem. I'm here for all of this. So here for it. I want my best friend to be happy and mister shy man does that."
Olivia couldn't help but smile, but she also couldn't help but show some other things she felt too.
She felt nervous about it all. Scared. And above those things, she felt bad. She wondered if a part of her always would.
"I want to feel happy too, Shawn. I really do. And so does he, and that's really big for him, because seriously, I don't know if he's ever really done anything for himself. But this time...he is. And we both want it. I love him, and he loves me. But it's just...it's hard, too, you know? I'm still...playing a part in separating his family, and that's...really hard not to think about. I'm happy about our relationship and our steps forward. I can't say I regret it, because I love him, and I want him. But I still feel bad when I think of the bigger picture. Our story isn't some perfect love story and never will be. It involves...a lot of hardship and decisions that aren't...the most honorable. At all."
Shawn nodded, as if she understood and recognized her feelings. But she shook her head too.
"Liv, this decision ain't just good for you two. It's gonna be good in the end for everybody involved. The bigger picture, like you said. I just know it. Maybe it'll take some time or whatever, that's fair. But also — if he figured out his shit, that means he knows it wasn't gonna work out, regardless of you. He loves you and wants to be with you, but it's not like you're the sole reason he thinks he's gotta leave. He knows he's gotta anyway. This ain't you comin' in and tearing up a family or somethin'. It was already broken, and even little K's been startin' to realize that, based on what you've told me. And Mellie will realize it too," Shawn said. "I ain't ever had shame in hoping you two would end up together, and neither should you, because everybody involved is missin' out on a life that this current situation is holdin' 'em back from. Period."
Olivia tilted her head and smiled at her friend.
"Well...thank you, Shawn," she said. "Thank you. That was...really deep."
"Wasn't it?" Shawn asked. "I know, I was proud of that. Feel free to quote me on it. I meant every damn word."
"I will. Maybe I'll write a book about my crazy life in New York City so far and it'll be the one you actually read," Olivia said.
Shawn burst into laughter, smacking her thigh. "Now that's it right there! I would read it! You are highly entertaining to me."
"Are you high right now?" Olivia laughed, raising an eyebrow.
"No!" Shawn exclaimed. "I'm serious! Although, I do wish I was high. But my mama took my dab pen, so. I'm figuring out my other options currently."
"Oh my God," Olivia laughed, shaking her head. "Well, I appreciate it. You're extremely entertaining to me too. I want you to meet Fitz. He'd love you."
Shawn gasped, putting her hand to her chest. "Awww. Mister shy man would love me?"
"Uh-huh. If you start joking with him and laughing, he'll start to come out of his shell. You'll...you'll start to see his smile, which is so contagious," Olivia said, smiling big. "You'd make him laugh a lot."
"I bet you make him laugh a lot," Shawn giggled.
"He tells me I'm funny a lot, actually, yes," Olivia laughed. "So it makes me want to make him laugh more because...what a wonderful sound. I told him once that every time he laughs, a baby is born."
Shawn started to giggle and shake her head. "That's cute. I would love to meet your man. Your Fitz. Or...wait, I'm blanking, what's that nickname you've got for him again?"
"Smiley."
Fitz smiled back at her pretty face, hearing her call him that name of hers. All with a big smile on her face, too — that made it even better.
"Livvie."
He could feel her hand in his. He could see her beautiful, petite body right in front of him.
"Livvie...Livvie."
And just like that, the image of her sweet self faded from his vision, and he slowly awoke from his night's sleep.
His eyes fluttered open, as he looked around the room he was in.
Her old room.
His dream felt so cruel, because she wasn't actually there with him. He couldn't actually hear her call him her own nickname, and he couldn't actually talk back to her.
In due time. She'd be back soon.
The problem was, he just didn't know how he was going to see her when she did get back. He grew anxious just thinking about it. How they'd make it work. Where they would see each other. How often he'd get to see her, because he would prefer if it was often.
He didn't feel the need to sneak around, at least not in the city. But he did feel bad actually doing it behind Mellie's back, part of which was why he wanted to tell Mellie somewhat soon about Olivia. It didn't feel right to continuously keep it from her, and he sure as hell wasn't going to put Olivia on hold anymore. Whether that was selfish of him or not, he really didn't know. He just knew he didn't want Olivia to have to wait and be sad, and he didn't want that for himself either.
He could barely be without her now, and she hadn't even been on break very long. Her break was only two weeks, to begin with, and here he was, already sleeping in the bed she used to sleep in and having dreams about her. Very vivid dreams, actually.
He rubbed his eyes and sighed, wishing he could go back to his wonderful dream. Be with her, even though it wasn't real.
He reached over for his phone to glance at the time, which read 6:30. Once he unlocked his phone, he saw he had a new text message.
It was from her. And it instantly made him smile, after all his previous thoughts of her.
Olivia: Maybe we can talk tomorrow? Miss you.
She'd send it last night, and he'd missed it. He had it set up so that her text notifications didn't show up. Not that anyone ever looked through his phone, but he wanted to at least be careful. And for the number of times they texted back and forth now, he preferred nobody else see their messages.
He hoped maybe she'd be up early enough, because maybe, just maybe, he could quietly call her now, while everyone else in his house still slept.
Fitz: Hey you. You up? Miss you too. Always.
He laid there on his side, studying his screen. Hoping and praying he'd see the three little dots that meant she was responding back.
A few moments later. There they were.
He smiled, thinking about the fact that never once in his life had he been so excited to text someone before.
Olivia: Hey you. I am up!
Fitz immediately responded.
Fitz: Can you talk now?
Olivia: Sure can.
His heart beat a little faster and he pressed call right away, putting it up to his ear as he laid in bed.
She answered immediately, and he could hear the slight rasp in her voice.
"Hello?" she answered sweetly.
It brought the biggest smile to his face.
"Hi, Livvie," he whispered.
"Hi," she replied.
"How are you?"
"I'm good, how are you?" she asked.
"I'm okay. I miss you a lot," he said quietly.
"Oh, Fitz, I miss you too," she said back. "You just woke up, I can tell."
"Mhm," he nodded, smiling. "You too."
"Yeah," she said. "My mom left a bit ago for the restaurant, so I woke up. I have a shift today too, so I'll have to get ready soon."
"Working girl," he smiled.
"Oh don't you know it," she said. "Gotta make some more money so I can buy you coffee when I get back."
"Ohhh," he chuckled quietly. "That sounds great. You're just going to spoil me, huh?"
"Absolutely," she said. "You've spoiled me enough, it should go both ways."
"Nonsense," he shook his head.
"The necklace I never take off says otherwise, smiley. I've gotten lots of questions about it, everyone always talks about how pretty it is," she said.
"It is pretty. Like you," he nodded happily.
She laughed. "You're so cute. I miss you."
"I miss you too," he said. "You need to come back. I'm a bad texter."
"I don't think so!" she giggled. "I love texting you."
"Well I love texting you too," he nodded. "I just want to hug you. And kiss you."
"Mmmm," she smiled. "Yes, please. At least I've got your T-shirt to keep me company until I come back. Smells like you."
"I'm glad you've got that," he chuckled. "You know where I've been um...sleeping lately?"
"The couch?" she asked.
"No, I uh...I moved actually. I started sleeping in your old room," he said quietly.
"Aww, did you really?" she asked.
"Yes," he nodded.
"You didn't tell me that!" she giggled.
"I kind of got embarrassed," he chuckled. "But I told you now."
"Maybe that can tide you over, along with your thoughts of...the night at The Langham," she said.
"It's gonna have to. I still got a few more days to go until I can see you," he said sadly.
"It'll go fast," she assured him. "I know it will."
"Mhm," he nodded, fiddling with the comforter. "What time will...you be back on the 4th?"
"I think I'm supposed to land in the afternoon. I'll let you know closer to the day," she answered.
"Mkay," he nodded. "Maybe I can uh...maybe I can meet you down there sometime that day. I wasn't sure if...you would need help with...carrying your things and everything."
"Well, actually my new roommate, or...suite mate, I guess, is going to be there already and she said she'd help me out! We've been texting back and forth a little bit, trying to get to know each other. Thank you, though! You're so sweet, Fitz."
"Oh, right, okay," he nodded.
"But I would love to see you that day. I just wasn't sure you'd be able to...make it work?" she questioned.
"I can," he said. "I will find a way, if you want me to."
"Am I in a position to steal you away?" she asked with a laugh.
"Yes," he said, rolling onto his back. "I'm in love with you, you're in a position to do whatever you want."
She started laughing on the other end, and he began to smile at the sound.
"That's how this works, huh?" she asked uncertainly.
"Uh-huh," he answered quietly with a smile.
He heard her sigh contently, and pause, before speaking up.
"Let me steal you away."
"Yeah?" he whispered with a smile.
"Yeah. Come to the city on the 4th. We can meet somewhere. We can...see each other. I can kiss you. And hug you."
"I will be there. I will," he nodded. "You tell me where and I will be there. Steal me away."
"Are you sure you—"
"Yes."
She was laughing on the other end quietly.
"I love you so much."
"I love you," he said. "I will do anything to see you. It scares me that I may not see you as often in the near future. So I'll just make it work."
"You are so sweet. I'll make anything work too. How about...Birch Coffee? On me?"
"Buying me coffee and everything?" he asked with a smile.
"Hey, I did say I was going to," she replied.
"Okay. That sounds great," he said. "It's a date."
"A date," she smiled. "I hope we can...have more of those in the future."
He sighed, adjusting his phone a bit. "We will. We will, Olivia."
"Well I look forward to all those dates, mister," she said, smiling. "I can't wait to see you soon."
"I can't wait either," he whispered. "I'll be counting the days."
She didn't think she could smile any bigger, but she proved herself wrong.
"Me too."
Hopefully it goes quickly for them! Lots going on for them.
I hope everyone is well, and I hope the chapter could provide an opportunity to take a little rest, and give your mind a brief break. Even if brief, it is necessary these days.
Just a kind reminder, if you do not like the way I am writing the story, nobody is forcing you to read it. If you do not have trust that I write everything I write for a reason, then you will always have a problem with the story. And not everyone will be pleased, that is impossible.
But regardless, this story is one that I am writing, and one that I have planned. Coming at me as an author or at the things I do, won't change what happens in the story.
Anyway. Enough of that!
Stay safe, and much love to you all during these times.
Read on,
~T