A Semester Away

by remusslupinn

Olivia has always dreamed of moving to NYC to attend NYU. During her last year before college, she spends a semester away at one of the most prestigious private schools in NYC. But while living with a young host family in Rye, NY, her life becomes a little more complicated, and she learns that there may be another reason aside from school, that her heart belongs in New York.

26. Important Conversations III

"What are we supposed to tell her? How do we know how to do something like that? I don't...I just don't feel confident in anything, Fitz. It makes my head hurt and it scares the hell out of me," Mellie admitted, rubbing her temples.

He could see the stress in her. He could feel it too — she wasn't alone.

"I don't think there's a...universal 'how to tell your children you're going to separate' book. There's no 'how to's'. Every situation is different, every married couple is different, and...every child is different. We know our daughter. We know us. So...we'll know the best way to do this."

"Oh, we do? Okay, can you enlighten me? Because this half of 'we' isn't sure at all," Mellie said.

He gave her a look, and she nodded.

"Sorry. I...sorry. Okay," she replied. "Sass doesn't help, I'm aware."

"I get it — it's a habit around me. You hate me — sass is natural," he nodded, taking a sip of his drink. Scotch tonight.

She glared at him, shaking her head. "Really?"

"Sorry. That was kind of sassy, too," he admitted.

"It was," she said. "And...I don't hate you. Okay? We both...know that, Fitzgerald."

He tilted his head. "Oh, we do? Can you enlighten me? Because this half of 'we' isn't sure at all."

She stared blankly at him, fighting back a smile. And then he chuckled.

She sighed annoyedly, but he could see her smile underneath it all.

"Okay. That was clever," she admitted. "And sassy."

"It was, I'm sorry," he replied.

"I'm...sorry too," she nodded. "And I don't...hate you. Maybe I did...briefly."

"Hmm...it didn't feel that brief to me," he responded.

"Okay, well, regardless. Hate is a very strong word," Mellie said.

He nodded. "I know. I appreciate that you don't hate me...anymore. But I would understand if you did."

"Well, yeah, you were an ass to me," she said.

"Yes. I was," he agreed.

"Good, I'm glad that's been covered," she nodded.

He rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly. "But you haven't been an ass to me, right?"

She shrugged. "I didn't say that."

"Ahh...wow. Was that...another admission of guilt?" he asked.

"Yeah, haven't I admitted enough to you recently?" Mellie asked.

He put his hands up in defense, raising his eyebrows.

She sighed. "And...just because I don't hate you doesn't mean I like you all that much either," Mellie pointed out.

She was partially being sassy again, in a playful way. But he knew part of it was probably true, too.

"Come on. Really? You and I have been on better terms since we've been on the same page," he replied. "Well — aside from the fact that you still look at me like...you want to slap me sometimes."

"I do still want to slap you sometimes."

"...Fair," he said.

"Especially when you make out with your girlfriend at my place of employment," she nodded.

He sighed. "I did not make out with her there, and nobody was outside. Except for...you, I guess — which was...completely accidental. But, it may have been a lapse in judgment on my part, and I apologize about that."

She nodded. "Well, for the most part — it was just gross."

"Oh, it was...it was 'gross.' Okay. Are we five now?" he chuckled.

She glared at him. "Yes, it was gross. Do you think I would have ever imagined seeing you and the woman whom I orchestrated to come live in our house for half a year — kissing in front of me at my work? The answer is no, no I did not. So yes, 'gross' really just fits that description for me, okay?"

"Okay. Alright," he nodded. "I'm sorry about that, Mell. I would have never...ever, done that if I knew you were right there. I hope you...know that. I didn't think anything of it — I'm sorry."

"It's...fine," she sighed. "I'm over it. I guess...I have to admit, I just wasn't expecting to see it. It threw me off, for multiple reasons. It wasn't just gross, it was also...I don't know. It was eye-opening, too, I guess."

"Eye-opening? Can I ask...how so?" he asked.

She looked down at the carpet, shrugging. "I guess...in my head, things looked a lot different. I didn't want to think about it at all, that's for sure. But then I saw it. And I saw...you, with her. I saw...how you were with her. And she, with you. I just...wasn't expecting it. I wasn't expecting to see you that way."

He nodded. "...What way?"

She sighed. "So...happy, I guess. I just...I don't know. It opened my eyes to the fact that you and I have never been that way. I mean — I knew that. I knew we weren't...Jesus. I don't know how to explain it."

"No, no. I...I think I get what you're saying," Fitz said, trying to save her.

She nodded gratefully.

"Seeing it. Seeing you that way, it was just...different. I mean...I didn't know you could even look at someone like that, Fitz. You smiled at her like...like I've just never seen before. And...the way she looked at you...I sure as hell know I don't look at you that way. Just...I wasn't expecting to see it. That's...all."

He nodded, looking at her intently. He didn't say anything; he wasn't sure what to say, exactly. It felt like another scenario in which he'd already said everything he needed to say, and she was just now making her comments based off of what she'd seen and experienced. Regardless, he was grateful she was thinking about these things. Even if they were "gross," they were realizations that needed to occur at some point.

And clearly she wasn't done with her realizations.

"You're, like, fucking...in love with her," Mellie said. "I mean...seriously — in love."

He could have continued on with the sass. Replied with a solid, "Yeah, kind of what I've been saying for a while." But he didn't. It probably didn't feel good to admit, see, or even come to that realization in general, let alone out loud to him, so he just nodded at her, and kept it gracious.

"Yeah, Mell," he said quietly.

She nodded too. "Yeah. Sorry. I'm...kind of late to the party on that one, too. I know."

He shrugged. "It's okay."

She sighed. "I guess I just didn't take you...very seriously until I saw it. Because I don't think I've ever felt that before so I haven't exactly had...the experience. No...no offense, obviously."

He chuckled. "You mean...you haven't been in love with me this whole time? Damn, I really thought you were. The...constant fights and...our wonderful relationship really led me to believe it."

Now she laughed, too.

"Oh, shush."

He shrugged, sipping his drink. "You would know if you've felt it, Mell. It's not something you're unsure about. When you feel it...you know. Overwhelmingly, and...sometimes annoyingly. And you don't get to control it. Frankly...it controls you. Makes you do...stupid shit."

"Sounds fucking awful," she said, downing her glass of wine.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Sometimes it can hurt. A lot. I'm...not going to lie about that."

"Well — good thing I'll never feel it then," she sighed quietly.

He shot her a look. "Why would you say that?"

She shrugged. "I just...I don't know. I don't think I ever will."

"This is coming from miss...'men love me, they respond to me'?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "Come on. What did you do with the...the old Mellie — the one telling me how many men she could have fucked while married to me?"

She shook her head and laughed. "Well, yes, that was the truth. But mostly I think they respond to me because of that reason. They just wish they could get in my pants — not...because of anything else."

"Well...the right one won't respond to you just because of that," he said.

She looked at him uncertainly and shook her head with a laugh.

"This conversation is...weird, with you," she said.

"Yeah, a little bit," he agreed. "Personally, I like it better than...insults and sass, though."

She nodded in agreement. "Yes. I suppose. It's also distracting me from the other aspect of the conversation we were having before about telling her."

He nodded, looking at her. "It scares me, too, Mell. I'm...fucking terrified to tell K. It's not just you. We're in it together. Alright?"

She sighed. "Yeah. I'm just...afraid it will hurt her. I have a...deep fear of that. And it's hard for me to just...not be afraid of that, Fitz. I understand where you're coming from. I know now that...Karen suspects a lot, and that's not good, either. But I'm still afraid of what it will do to her when we tell her."

"I know," he replied.. "Me too. I would be lying if I said I wasn't. I just think...what she feels as a result of this — will be much better than what she'd continue to feel further down the road. And...I'd rather pick the less painful option. Even if it takes some adjusting, which...it will. Obviously."

She nodded. "Yeah. I...I know."

He nodded back. "Isn't it fun agreeing on things?"

Mellie glared at him, but laughed. "It's weird, mostly."

He agreed, downing the rest of the scotch in his glass. "If we keep it up — we may just become, like...friends, or something."

Her eyes widened. "Oh — let's not get carried away."

"Yeah. You're right," he agreed, standing up. He reached for her glass. "More wine?"

"Oh, sure. Just a little bit. Thanks."

He headed to the bar, both glasses in hand to get a refill. Karen was asleep upstairs, and they were downstairs in the basement talking, as per usual. Not that things were heated between them — but just because they weren't sure how to go forward with things that involved Karen. And clearly — that child heard everything.

"So...can I ask you something?" Mellie asked, looking at him as he stood at the bar.

"Yeah," he replied, pouring her more white wine.

"Do you want to move out?" she asked.

He stopped pouring and looked up at her surprisedly.

"Uh...well. That's...that's a big question," he admitted. "Do you want the short answer, or the long answer?"

"I don't really care. Just...an honest answer," she said.

"Honest answer is yes," he replied. "But...I know we haven't even...had that discussion. I know that it can't happen overnight. I know we need to explain to Karen what's going on first. And I know...I actually have to have a place to live in order to move out."

"I'm surprised you haven't been looking around for places with...her," she said, watching him bring her wine to her.

He stopped in his tracks, tilting his head at her and shooting her a look.

She sighed. "Sorry. Sorry."

He sighed back, handing her glass to her.

"I probably would have been looking. But...I've wanted to do this all together for Karen's sake — and you haven't exactly been on board with this until recently."

"Yeah. I know," she nodded.

He handed her wine to her.

"Thanks."

"Mhm. Do...you want me to move out?" he asked, sitting down next to her on the couch.

"I don't know, Fitz. Clearly, I'm not sure about anything. I...want what's best for Karen — but this all still freaks me out. I'm aware that our marriage is a joke — but ending it still freaks me out. I don't even...I don't even know anymore. I mean — I know that I don't want to move out."

"Well, I figured that. I wouldn't...I wouldn't make you do that," he shook his head. "You should keep the house."

She sighed, looking up at him nervously. "Great. This conversation."

"What? You...you started this conversation?"

"No, no, I know. I just mean...now we're getting into the...who keeps what conversation," she said. "I'm...I'm just not even...in the right headspace for that conversation right now."

"That's fine. You don't have to be. I didn't mean for it to be that conversation. I was just talking about the house," he replied.

"I know," she nodded. "So...if you moved out, then...where would you move to? And...when?"

"Mell, I haven't even...started looking at places yet. I mean — if you want me out of here right now, tell me. Tell me, and I can...I'll get on it more quickly. Because...believe me — I will."

"No. I didn't mean it like that," she apologized. "I was just asking the question."

He shrugged. "Where would you feel comfortable? I would never...go anywhere you didn't want me to, because of K."

She nodded. "I guess...close. I'd like you to be close, for K."

"As would I," he agreed.

She sighed. "There's so much...we have to talk about, isn't there."

"Uh-huh. See. Maybe the 'you'll find somebody' conversation we were having earlier wasn't so bad," he pointed out.

She chuckled. "Yeah. Maybe not. Frankly, I think I'm still getting used to you and I talking this much in general."

"Come on. It's been months of you insulting me for either...my abundance of words or my lack of them. You're still hung up on that?" he challenged.

She rolled her eyes, and sighed.

"You're right. I'm sorry about that."

"Thanks, actually. But you don't...have to keep apologizing," he replied.

She drank a healthy sip of her wine and set it down in her lap, shaking her head.

"Fuck, Fitz."

"Yeah. Fuck," he nodded, sipping his scotch.

"Fuck," she emphasized again. "How did we get here? How did we end up in...this situation?"

"You and I were not meant to be married, but we did it anyway. That's...why," he began. "And we did that because the condom broke, which...turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to us. It just...didn't change the fact that we shouldn't have gotten married afterward."

"That was a rhetorical question, Fitz, but thank you for summing it up," she nodded, raising her glass to him.

"Oh. My bad. Well. You're welcome anyway," he chuckled, raising his glass. "To...the best thing that ever happened to us. We can still drink to that."

She nodded, giving him a smile. "To her. I'm...so glad the condom broke."

"Me too."

"Even though...you and I suck, and have pretty much always sucked."

"Yes, quite a bit," he agreed.

"Well...I think I'm all out of toasts for now. I'm tired — I think I'm going to head to bed. After I down this," she said, tilting her glass back.

"Yeah. Me too," he nodded. "Thanks for...talking. Really. Thank you."

"You too," she replied. "I'm sorry, again. For...you know. Things I've said. I know...I'm stubborn. And I'm not the best person to...deal with sometimes."

"I'm sorry too. For...having been an ass," he said back.

"Yeah. A big one."

"A big one," he said, nodding.

She cracked a smile, but gave him a serious look afterward. "So...same time next time? Unfortunately?"

He started to laugh. "Same time next time. Unfortunately."

"What's next on the docket? The custody conversation? The who gets what conversation?" she asked.

"Whichever makes you want to throw up less," he said. "That's...that's my proposal."

"Hm. Okay. I'll have to think it through and get back to you on that one," she said nervously.

"Kay. Sounds good," he laughed. "Night."

"Night."

He downed his drink and put both their glasses in the bar dishwasher. Things were a little easier to discuss when alcohol was involved.

But also, things were easier to discuss when both were on the same page. And that was now the case.

Not that they were agreeable on everything. But on the fact that staying married would only hurt Karen more in the long run — they were on the same page now. Mellie was just really scared about it still.

And he understood that. Her own childhood trauma with her parents wouldn't just disappear. But he did hope that talking about it would ease her in even more. They'd already made so much progress — it was so much easier talking to her when they were working toward the same goal.

And the conversations went a lot smoother too. Her perspective had finally begun to change — which naturally changed the way she spoke to him about the subject. She'd admitted her wrongdoings, too. He appreciated that.

He mostly appreciated it all for Karen's and for Olivia's sake. Both deserved so much better. Karen deserved the truth, and Olivia didn't deserve to have to wait forever. He knew she was impatient about it — how could she not be. He just wanted things to keep moving forward.

And as of now, they were.

---

"What time will you be home tonight?" Mellie asked tiredly, lying in bed and watching him get ready.

Fitz buttoned his shirt, looking in the mirror with furrowed eyebrows at his long hair. He'd just showered so he still had to style it, but his curls were so long.

"Uh…let me think. Karen's choir rehearsal gets done at…6:30 right?" he confirmed, running his hand through his hair.

Jesus, it was really unruly today.

"Yeah," Mellie nodded. "I have an early day today, so I'll be home early. But I can go back out and get her if you need me to."

"Um…no, that should be fine. I can grab her on my way home," he replied.

"Okay. Late day today…or?" she inquired, looking at him curiously.

"Um…no, actually. I'm just going to see Olivia after work," he answered, flipping up his collar.

She nodded silently, looking down at the bed. "Ah. Got it."

He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking at her through the mirror as he started tying his tie. "Sorry. I wasn't going to not be honest about it."

"Yeah," she replied, lying back in bed, looking up at the ceiling. "All right. Um. Do you want to pick up dinner on your way home?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Well. Maybe over dinner…we can talk to Karen," she suggested.

He completely stopped tying his tie, looking at her through the mirror, confused. But she was still staring up at the ceiling, so he turned around, coming to stand closer to her.

"What did you say?"

"Oh, you heard me," she said, glancing over at him.

"Really…?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Yeah. Why are you looking at me like that? You were the one pushing for this way before I was. Way before even our conversation last night."

"Well…yeah. I…that's why I'm surprised. I…didn't want to do anything until you…were feeling comfortable with it, I guess," he said, tightening his tie. "And I didn't get the sense last night that...you were ready yet."

"Well, honestly Fitz, that's the thing. I don't think I'm ever going to be comfortable with it. I don't know how to feel...ready for it. It scares the hell out of me, and it's going to no matter when we do it. All I do is think about it nonstop — as I'm sure you do. So...she might, too. And I don't want that. I never…got that conversation with my parents. And…even if it hurts her...at least she'll have gotten the conversation. She'll know…what's going on. Right...? You told her last week before everything happened that we were going to be more honest with her about us going forward. So let's just...do it then. I've been...in the way of this. I get that. So...I'm saying I'm sorry, and...maybe I can change that now."

"Well, I couldn't agree more," he nodded, giving her a genuine look. "Like I was saying last night, I don't think there's going to be a 'right' time. I think it's going to be a difficult conversation no matter what."

She nodded in agreement. "Okay then."

"Okay," he nodded back.

She studied him, sighing. "I do want to make it abundantly clear — that I'm terrified, and I don't know how to do this."

"All we have to do is be honest with her," he said gently.

Mellie glanced up at him nervously. "I know. That's what I'm afraid of. The truth hurts."

"Sometimes. But it's also for the best," he replied. "You...know that now. Right? Remember? We...we agree with each other all the time?"

She shot him a look and saw his joking smile.

"Yeah. All the time," she said sarcastically.

He headed back to the bathroom, dress shirt tucked in and suit jacket on, going to do his hair finally.

"We'll get through this, Mellie."

"Yeah," she said.

He ran his product-covered fingers through his hair, getting his curls under control.

"I think...maybe K and I should take my mom up on her spring break offer," Mellie said loud enough for him to hear. "Girls week...in Florida. I think maybe it could be...exactly what she needs after everything she's gone through recently. Especially if we sit her down to talk tonight, too."

He nodded, finishing up in the bathroom. "Yeah. I think that could be good. Have you talked to her about it?"

"No, not yet. Maybe we can talk about that tonight too. If she doesn't want to, she doesn't want to. But I think she may jump at the chance for something like that. You know how she loves girls' trips, and it's been a couple months since our last one," Mellie said.

"Yeah," he agreed. "That's a good idea."

"Yes it is; it was my mom's idea."

"Alright. We'll bring that up tonight, too," he said, coming out of the bathroom. "I gotta go. I'll see you tonight. For...for dinner."

She nodded, giving him a nervous sigh.

"I'll check on K before I head out. See if she's up early again," he said, buttoning his jacket.

"Okay. See you tonight then."

"See you."

He headed down the hall, opening Karen's bedroom door quietly.

She stirred, turning to look at him tiredly. For the last week, she'd still been on her pain medication routine — which did have her sleep schedule a little bit messed up.

"Daddy."

"Hi, baby. I'm sorry — did I wake you?"

"No. I've been...half-awake," she replied.

"Okay. How do you feel today?" he asked.

"I feel good," Karen said, smiling.

"Oh, that's great, honey. I just wanted to check on you quickly before I left for work. Your smoothie's in the fridge, okay? Make sure you have some with your meds."

"Yeah, I will. Thanks, dad," Karen said.

"You're welcome. I'll see you tonight — have a good day at school."

"Thanks! See you tonight."

He left her door ajar and made his way downstairs and out the door — giving Hank a treat before he left.

With a day of work ahead of him, his mind was somewhere between his job and his home life — trying to figure out how to go about that conversation with Karen later. He was beyond ecstatic about it. About the fact that Mellie agreed it was about time to sit down and have a talk. But just like her, he was nervous, too — for how Karen would take it.

He'd have a whole day to think about it beforehand — about the best possible way to go about it.

Hopefully, he'd come up with something.

---

Fitz laid there, holding Olivia close on top of his chest.

He was so relaxed — he could almost fall asleep like that. He didn't, because his time with her these days felt precious. He didn't want to waste it sleeping.

"What are you thinking about?" he whispered, looking down at her. He studied her face.

She shrugged. "Just...everything. You. K. The...progress you've made with Mellie."

"Mhm. What about it specifically?" he asked, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"I'm just...I'm so happy about it," she nodded, smiling. "And I guess I'm nervous, too — especially about the conversation with Karen tonight. I know I'm not the one sitting down and talking about it — but it's just...an important conversation. And I'm afraid of the same thing you and Mellie are afraid of."

"I know," he replied. "You know I'll let you know how everything goes as soon as I can."

"I know, baby. Thank you for...always keeping me in the loop about everything."

"Of course. It's...the least I can do. Literally...the least I can do. I would never want you to feel even more...shut out than I know you already do," he said sadly.

"Yeah," Olivia nodded solemnly.

He sighed, looking down at her face. She wasn't looking at him right now — she was looking down. Her face was resting on his upper chest and her arms were wrapped tightly around him.

Her long eyelashes fluttered up and down as she blinked. Her cute nose and perfect lips were visible to him, too. She was so beautiful.

But he felt a pit in his stomach, at her solemn tone. "I'm so sorry about that. I'm...I wish you knew just how sorry I am."

"I do know," Olivia nodded quietly, reaching out to hold his left hand. His right one was already around her.

She examined the band on his ring finger — the band that signified that he was married.

And to Olivia — probably a reminder that he wasn't hers on paper.

And to Fitz — a reminder that made him cringe.

His ring caught the light shining through the window — and it shined back at the both of them as they examined it.

"I'm trying, Olivia," he whispered. "I'm trying so hard. To do this as quickly as I can. But...to do it right, too."

"I know that too, honey," Olivia nodded, looking up at him.

"I've been walking this line between trying to guide Mellie along so that we can be this...united team for Karen, and yet...doing it as fast as I can. Sometimes it feels like...slow and steady is going to win the race. Mellie is finally coming along. She's agreeing with me — we're having such productive conversations and...making plans. And...we're doing it all while staying calm and...amiable, for our daughter. And that's all...good. But...there isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish things were...fucking over with, and that I got to...see you every day. So I'm sorry, Olivia. I'm just fucking sorry. I'm trying so hard to do what's...what's best. And it doesn't always feel that way. I know that."

Olivia shook her head. "You know that all I ever want is what's best for Karen, Fitz."

Fitz nodded at her.

"And I think you are doing what's best for Karen. In fact — I know you are. You are the best father to her, and that is one of my favorite things about you," she said, running her finger over his cheek lightly.

He gave her a cute smile.

"And...I'm with you. I know what you're going through, because I'm walking a line too. I have to be really patient. And I can be, don't get me wrong. If I couldn't be...I would have had problems a long time ago. In no way, shape, or form, do I want your separation and divorce to go badly, or less than amicably. You know I want it to go smoothly, and I want Karen to be okay through it all. That's...honestly, my number one concern. I've hated all the pain that I've caused, and I hope to God there isn't more to go around," she nodded. "But...there's another half of me in this situation, too. The half that just...fucking wants you. That's the other side of that line for me. You're mine. Yet...you're not. I'm the one you want to talk to — but our phone calls and visits are rushed sometimes. I'm the one you want to be with — but not the one you come home to. I'm the one you want to have sex with — but not the one you fall asleep next to. Well — I want all of that. Not just half of it. And I know it's coming — that's what I get to look forward to. Believe me — I am. I really am. But...if I'm being honest, it is hard to keep staying patient. That's why...I'm so happy that Mellie is coming around."

He looked at her regrettably and sat up, bringing her with him.

"Olivia."

She looked at him, awaiting what he said.

"I am yours. I belong to you. In every way that counts, and...and soon, in every way. You are what my mind goes to when I don't get to talk to you, or...or sleep next to you. You are...you are just everything to me. I know this isn't fair. And I know it's hard to keep staying patient. I'm...so sorry about that, and I wish there was...something I could do to move this along more quickly. Believe me — I would do...anything. You don't deserve this. At all. But...I just never want you to forget that...although our situation may say otherwise currently — I am completely, and always...yours."

She nodded silently, cupping his cheek with her hand.

"Do you hear me?" he whispered, trying to meet her eyes.

"I do," she nodded, leaning her head into his chest.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he said, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry. I just can't say it enough."

She shook her head. "Fitz, you don't need to keep apologizing. It's okay. We're in a much better spot now than we ever have been, and believe me…I'm so excited about that. I've felt so much happier about things lately."

"Yes. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't apologize, or that…you don't have the right to feel the way you do. You've been waiting...a long time. And that's never going to be fair. Or okay. And I'm never going to be able to...give you this time back, and that's — I'm just so sorry about that. I don't know how to...how to fix that, and I wish I did."

She laughed, shaking her head. "Well, part of this is just me being irrationally impatient. Now that…she's on the same page as you, I think I'm starting to really see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light being…you, by the way. And…it's making me all the more excited, which…in turn, makes me all the more impatient, I think."

"Well, nothing about that is irrational at all," he replied. "I'm feeling the same way, so…I can only imagine how you are feeling."

She studied his apologetic face, and pressed her lips gently to his, sighing lightly against them.

He closed his eyes, kissing her back.

"I'm clearly just feeling…very in love with you," she whispered, kissing him again. "That's a big reason behind all this…impatience."

He smiled, eyes flickering between her lips and her eyes as he touched his lips to hers again.

"Well…fuck me, then," he whispered.

"Yeah, fuck you," she teased, kissing him again.

She felt his soft breath lightly against her lips, as he leaned his forehead against hers.

"How are your cramps?" he asked quietly.

"Crampy," she said, giving him a disgusted look.

He gave her a sad look back. "Is there anything I can do to...make it better?"

She smiled. "You already brought me hot chocolate — that's plenty! Although...I guess you could kiss me again. That always makes me feel better too."

He smiled back, and opened his mouth against hers. She was quick to slide her tongue inside.

His hands slid down to her ass, pulling her more into his body as they sat there on her bed.

It soon became more of a makeout; it never took them very long before that escalated.

He held her to his body, flipping her over slowly to lay her back down. This time — on top of her rather than under her.

His hands went from her hips to her sides, running along the top of her sweater slowly.

One of his hands ran over her chest, lingering on her breast. But he focused much more of his attention on kissing her. They were slow, but passionate kisses that seemed to go on forever.

By the time they pulled away for breath, they were breathing much harder. Olivia licked her lips, letting out slow, steady breaths.

She pulled his head gently down by his neck, and he settled in snugly in between her neck and shoulder. He breathed hard against her skin, pressing a kiss to her neck.

One of Fitz's hands was resting above him, underneath Olivia's pillow. His other hand, though, was still on her chest. He slowly ran it over her breasts and then up to her chin. He held her chin and tilted it upward, allowing him to kiss his way across her neck.

"Mmm," she moaned, looking so relaxed.

"Is this helping?" he murmured, continuing his kisses up her jawline.

"Yes. Very much so," she replied, tangling her fingers in his hair.

He smiled against her skin, switching sides. His hand then moved above her as well, sliding underneath her pillow. That pretty much trapped her underneath him — and she seemed perfectly content with that.

She laid there, feeling a little crappy, but having her boyfriend on top of her kissing her — that was something to celebrate.

Eventually, they heard the front door open, knowing that it was Greta.

Fitz didn't even move though, he just kept right on.

"Hey, Liv! Guess what!" Greta asked.

"Hmm?" Olivia asked, as loudly as she could.

Fitz finally stopped, looking up at the door, where they now heard Greta just outside of it.

"Wait a second. Is boyfriend in there?" Greta asked.

"Identify yourself," Olivia giggled.

"Hey, Greta. It's me — Fitz, also known as boyfriend," Fitz greeted, resting his head on Olivia's shoulder.

"Oh, shit! Sorry to interrupt!" Greta apologized.

"No, it's okay. We're just laying here being lazy, what's up?" Olivia asked. "You can come in."

Greta opened the door quietly, seeing both of them looking dead to the world. Fitz's face was barely visible because it was buried in Olivia's shoulder and Olivia's was barely visible because Fitz's arms were on either side, hands underneath her pillows.

They both turned to look at Greta, though, now that she had entered the room.

"Oh my God, I can barely see you guys," Greta laughed. "Y'all are clearly thriving."

"Oh yeah. Big time," Olivia laughed, playing with Fitz's curls.

"Nice to see you, Greta," Fitz said, giving her a smile.

"Nice to see you too! Okay, sorry, this is completely unimportant and I would not have interrupted you guys with it if I knew you were here, Fitz. However — guess who got the job."

Olivia gasped. "You did?!"

"Yes!" Greta replied. "You are talking to the new desk clerk at Brown and Whitley. Well. Over the summer."

"Oh my God! Greta, that's so amazing, congrats!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Aww, congratulations!" Fitz echoed. "That's big news!"

"Thank you! It probably helped that I had a connection there. But...the interview process was still very intense, honestly. It's going to be great experience for me going into undergrad, I think," Greta said.

"Yes, that's going to be an amazing experience," Olivia nodded. "I'm so glad you came in here — that isn't unimportant at all!"

"Well, I didn't want to interrupt," Greta apologized. "I'll leave you guys be now, but I'm just so excited."

"As you should be!" Fitz said.

"Yes. Well, we'll be out in a bit, okay? I have cramps so I can only lay in one spot doing nothing for so long. Especially with a large man on top of me," Olivia nodded.

He looked down at her, smiling. "Well — baby, do you want me to get up?"

Olivia gasped. "Don't you dare."

Fitz chuckled, shaking his head at Greta.

"Sometimes I get these...these mixed messages, Greta."

Greta was laughing. "Yeah, see, boyfriend, us women can do that sometimes."

"Oh, yes, I'm very aware," he nodded, kissing Olivia's forehead.

"You guys are so cute," Greta smiled. "Okay. Sorry. Ya girl will just be out here doing some homework."

They bid goodbye to Greta and returned to the silence of her room, just the two of them.

He looked down at her, tracing her soft cheek with his finger.

"Speaking of homework — have things calmed down a bit at school? I hate it when you're so stressed," he whispered, kissing her cheek.

"Yeah, I'm doing a little better. Things will be better once spring break hits — but it's going to busier before then," she nodded.

"Mhm, right," he nodded. "I'm glad you're staying here over spring break. You'll get a chance to relax. And hey, um...maybe you and I can even go on a few dates."

"Oooo, I am so down with that," she smiled. "What are your plans, by the way? Have you decided yet?"

"Yeah, I'm going to house sit for my mom, I think. I know, fun, right?" he chuckled.

"Um...yes? House sit in your beautiful Hamptons home? Absolutely. You should just...stay there all week since you're going to work from home that week anyway. That's like a vacation in itself — isn't it?"

He laughed. "I probably will, to be honest. That's...quite a drive there and back just to water a few plants here and there and take out the trash, so...I probably will just stay there for the week — take Hank with me. Not like there will be anybody in Rye, anyway, because...I think K's gonna be gone with Mellie and her family for a girl's week in Florida."

"Oh really? Well that's fun! Right? I think...K could use that. Especially with...the conversation tonight," Olivia said.

"Yeah, that's...exactly what we thought, too," he nodded. "She loves going away with 'the girls; I think it makes her feel grown-up. And...who doesn't love going somewhere warm when it's...you know, cold here."

"Definitely," she agreed. "I'm jealous. Florida sounds wonderful right now. And so does...where your mom's going."

"Turks and Caicos? Yeah. She and her girlfriends have their favorite resorts they stay at together there, and throughout the Caribbean."

"See — that right there is goals. I hope when I'm her age I'm picking one of my favorite island resorts to stay at whenever I want with my girlfriends," Olivia laughed. "That's...Queen energy."

He laughed in response. "Oh, I can most definitely see that happening with that big brain of yours," he said, poking her forehead, which had her giggling.

"You're going to be the most successful person I know — and I'm going to feel like...a celebrity for being with you," he nodded.

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh you think so, huh?" she laughed. "A celebrity?"

"Yep," he nodded confidently.

She was smiling so big. "Well, baby, I really appreciate that. But I hope I don't disappoint you in the future if I'm not the most successful person you know — because holy shit, you know a lot of successful people. You are an insanely successful person."

"Well, thank you, Liv, but I'm very confident in what I said. And also — you could never disappoint me. Ever."

"I hope not!"

"So...then, when you're the most successful person in all of New York City — maybe you can um...bring me on some of those island trips with you, too," he said, smiling.

She smiled back. "You know you're the first person I'm going to want to go with, baby."

"I like the sound of that. And um...the thought, too. You...in a bathing suit...somewhere tropical. I mean...I don't think there would be anything better than that."

Now she was laughing again. "Add tropical, fruity booze to the equation too."

"Oh, yeah, okay. I could...I could do that," he chuckled. "Can I ask...how much experience you've had with tropical, fruity booze?"

"Tropical? None. Fruity? Too much, I think," she laughed.

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, now I'm curious. Do tell."

"Baby, think back to your high school days. Or...no, I forgot how innocent and adorable you were. Your college days. What shitty, cheap booze did you manage to get your hands on?" she asked.

He was chuckling, shaking his head. "First of all — I wasn't that innocent in high school."

"Oh really? You're gonna have to prove it to me, because I think we've already confirmed otherwise," she said.

He thought back. "Uh...shit. I wasn't prepared to...have evidence to back that up."

She cracked up. "You're so adorable."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh it up," he nodded.

"I'm serious, you're very sweet now so I can only imagine the sweetness of your high school self. If we had gone to school together at the same time, I would most definitely have dated you."

Now it was his turn to crack up.

"What?!" she asked.

"Baby — please tell me you don't actually think that," he said.

"Um...yes, I do? I fucking love you — you're an angel. I would have corrupted your innocent, angelic ass the moment I met you."

He chuckled. "Noooo way. Do you know how out of my league you would have been? And...still are?"

She furrowed her eyebrows. "You're kidding, right? Look at you. You look like...a fucking gift from God, himself."

He opened his mouth in awe, shaking his head. "Says you!"

"What do you mean says me?!" she exclaimed. "Plus — you were the star quarterback and all that business."

"Okay — that's very misleading. I was the quarterback, but...our football team sucked, and I was a major nerd," he said. "And like you weren't the star of your basketball team?"

"Barely," she laughed. "And I was a nerd, too! Or — still am! But I do want to clarify that even though I'm a nerd, I would have still corrupted your innocent ass."

"And I'm sure I would have loved every second of it — if you would have given me a chance," he said.

She scoffed. "You are really sold on that, aren't you?"

"Yes," he nodded. "Nothing will change my mind — I'm sure of it."

"Hmmm. Okay — well, nothing can change my mind either," she said.

"That's okay, we can...agree to disagree," he chuckled, smiling down at her.

"Alright, I'm down with that," she nodded, leaning her head up and kissing his nose.

He smiled down at her adoringly.

"But I am still curious about...your abundant experience with fruity booze," he added, raising an eyebrow.

She laughed. "Oh, it's nothing very exciting. I've never been one to be a crazy drinker. I'm usually...the one that takes care of the crazy drinkers, actually."

"Yes, I can relate to that," he chuckled. "And I would expect nothing less of you."

"But, of course, I've tried my fair share. We all experiment a little bit, even before...we probably should," she shrugged.

"Yes," he nodded. "I did experiment with alcohol in high school too, by the way. I would have glasses of wine here and there with my mom. She was cool with it. And...I may have dug around the liquor cabinet a few times...behind her back. I was curious. I just...never went too far until I got to college. Which I kind of regret."

"Right. My mom has always been cool with it too. She actually preferred that...I know my limit before I went off on my own, you know? She certainly didn't encourage me to go...drinking with friends or anything, but she wasn't against me having a drink with her at home every once in a while, as long as I wasn't driving anywhere. She wanted me to have some experience with it beforehand so that I didn't go off on my own and...have no idea how it would affect me, you know?"

"Yeah. And I think that's a good approach. Because...not knowing your limit can get you into some bad situations," he said.

"Mhm," she agreed.

He looked at her intently, studying her pretty face.

"What?" she asked, smiling.

"Nothing. I was just looking at you."

"Hmm," she replied contently, touching his cheek.

"Hey," he whispered, planting a light kiss on her lips.

"Hmm?" she smiled.

"You...want a reminder?"

She gasped. "Of course I do! I love reminders."

He smiled and started kissing her lips, and her cheeks. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, returning his kisses. "So much."

"So much," he whispered, looking down at her.

He touched his lips lightly to hers, and waited for her to kiss him again.

He sighed contently against her lips when she, inevitably, kissed him back, and the kissing continued.

They could kiss each other all damn day.

And it was just so comfortable. So nice.

So there, in her dark bedroom, they spent a few more minutes in bed, sharing kisses.

"Wanna go talk to Greta a bit before you leave?" she whispered, pressing her lips to his again.

He nodded, kissing her back. "Absolutely."

"Okay. Just a couple more and then we'll get up," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

He chuckled against her lips. He wouldn't complain.

But soon, they did get up, so he could put a few things back on before they headed out of her room.

He sat on the edge of her bed and she sat on his lap, tying his tie for him.

He held her tightly in his lap, smiling down at her fingers as she tied it.

"How'd you learn how to do this?" he asked her.

"My uncle Frank," she replied. "He's a big tie guy."

"Ahh," Fitz nodded, admiring her work. "Well — I think you're...better than I am. Actually...fuck, I know you're better than I am."

She laughed. "Guess that's just another reason you need me."

"One of many," he said, leaning in for a kiss.

She kissed him back, smiling at him intently before standing up.

He smoothed out his shirt and adjusted it, making sure it was all tucked into his pants.

She held his suit jacket out for him and he slipped it on, one arm at a time — followed by his dress coat. And then they headed out to the main sitting area, where Greta was doing her homework.

"Oh, hey you guys!" she greeted.

"Hey!" they said.

"I was worried for a bit — I thought I heard some arguing in there," Greta said, typing away on her laptop.

Olivia laughed. "Oh — you're right, you did. We were arguing because he thinks if we went to school together at the same time that I wouldn't have dated him!"

"There is no way. She's completely out of my league," Fitz nodded at Greta. "I'm standing my ground on this one."

"Ohhh, a little feud, huh?" Greta laughed, looking up at them.

"Yes. I mean, come on. He's obviously wrong," Olivia said.

Fitz scoffed, wrapping his arm around her. "Oh — that's how you're playing it?"

"Absolutely!" she exclaimed.

"Olivia. I am...a grown ass man, and I still could never flirt with you to save my life," he said.

"Okay — well you can't be that hard on yourself, our situation isn't exactly normal," she pointed out.

"No — but I'm pretty sure you don't suck at flirting," he replied.

"That's...debatable," she shrugged.

"What? No it isn't. You're...you're a great flirter," he said, almost hurt at her comment.

Greta was cracking up. "You two. These are the most hilarious arguments I've ever heard."

"Okay — but I totally win, right? He's cute, and smart, and nice — how would I not have dated him?" Olivia asked.

"Because...my awkwardness would have scared you away," he said.

She shrugged, starting to smile. "Okay. Well...I guess you did barely speak to me for like...two and a half days when we first met."

Now Fitz turned to Greta, mouth open in awe, which had her laughing harder.

"Well...obviously not. I didn't...want to be weird. And...look at how beautiful she is, how was I supposed to...speak actual words to her?" he asked Greta, who was now just about on the floor laughing.

Olivia was dying next to him, too.

"Yeah, he's...he's not a huge word person," Olivia giggled, rubbing his arm.

"But...I am with you," he said, frowning.

"Well now, maybe. But you're still a man of very few words in general, baby."

"Oh. Well...yeah. Fair," he agreed. "But...anyway — you just proved my point more."

"No I didn't! You've always been introverted and I've always been extroverted — that clearly doesn't affect us now, so it wouldn't have ever mattered!" she pointed out.

Greta was still cracking up. "You guys are hilarious. And so cute."

"Thank you! I do wish he would listen to me though," Olivia said, tilting her head at Fitz.

He just smiled cutely, tightening his grip around her. "I'm standing my ground on this one. But...it doesn't really matter anyway. Because that's...some alternate reality. And...this one's the only one that matters, because in this reality, we're for sure together."

Greta put her hand on her heart. "Aww!"

"Well that's very sweet, Fitz," she said, leaning her head into his arm. "See — now I can't even be mad at him for spewing such nonsense before."

He chuckled, shaking his head.

"You are something else," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"Thank you," she nodded. "You have to go?"

He looked down at his watch and nodded. "Yeah. Unfortunately."

"Okay."

"Greta — always a pleasure," Fitz said.

"Of course! Good to see you," she replied.

"Yeah, you too," he nodded, as Olivia took his hand.

They stopped by the front door, and he grabbed his briefcase.

"I'll be in touch later, okay?" he asked.

"Okay," she nodded gratefully. "Thank you. I'm so hoping everything goes well, baby."

"Me too," he replied quietly. "I love you."

"I love you too," she said, accepting a kiss from him, followed by a hug. "Goodbye, my smiley."

"Bye," he said, pecking her cheek.

And then he was gone — headed to Grand Central where he'd head back to Rye, to grab Karen from school before going home.

And then — who knew how the night would end. He could only hope that it would go well — especially for Karen's sake.

---

"What'd you learn at school today?" Fitz asked, looking at his daughter in the rearview mirror.

She sat in thought. "Hmmm...oh! Well, I learned about some of the properties of matter."

He nodded, impressed. "Oh, yeah? That's awesome. So what are they?"

He smiled, knowing she always enjoyed being tested.

"Well, they are things you can measure. Like...density. And volume, and temperature. Oh, and color, too. There are more than that, but those are the ones we focused on today."

"Very good," he nodded. "And what's matter?"

She laughed. "Dad, that's so easy. It's anything that takes up space!"

He chuckled. "I was just testing you, my little scientist."

She smiled, looking at him proudly. "I really am gonna be a scientist one day, daddy."

He grew even prouder of her, if that was possible.

"That sounds pretty awesome to me," he said. "You can be whatever you want to be. You always remember that, okay?"

"Whatever I set my mind to," she nodded, remembering what he and Mellie always told her.

"That's right," he nodded. "Whatever you set your mind to."

"Is your job now always what you wanted to do?" she asked curiously.

He shrugged. "More or less. My field is pretty broad, so there's quite a bit I could have done. But yes...I do like my job a lot."

"And you're...the best at it in the world. Aren't you," she said, smiling.

He chuckled. "Well, the world has a lot of people like me in it, so maybe I can't take...that much credit. But between you and me...yeah. Dad's pretty good at his job."

She giggled, seeing him wink at her in the mirror.

"I knew it. You and mom both are," she said.

"That's right, mom is great at her job. You better tell her that when we get home — it would make her day," he said, pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant he was stopping for dinner at.

"I will," Karen nodded. "Can I come in with you, dad?"

"Sure, baby," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

It was Karen's favorite restaurant in town, so she loved to go in when they had the chance.

They grabbed their takeout and headed home, where Mellie was waiting with the table already set.

"Hey, mom," Karen greeted, setting her backpack down by the table.

Hank came over happily to greet Karen and Fitz, tail wagging crazily at the sight of his favorite little girl.

"My Hank!" Karen greeted, petting his head affectionately.

Fitz chuckled, leaning down and giving his back a few pats as he walked by.

"Hi honey," Mellie smiled, leaning down to hug Karen. "How was school today?"

"It was good," she nodded.

"You've been feeling good, too?" Mellie asked, rubbing her arms.

"Mhm," Karen nodded. "Look at my scar. It's almost healed."

She pulled her jacket aside and lifted up her little sweatshirt, revealing part of the healing scar.

Her staples had only recently been removed at the doctor's, so she was newly fascinated with the way it looked. They supposed it was better that she was fascinated rather than horrified — because that scar wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh, yes, the doctors did such a good job, didn't they?" Mellie asked, examining it.

"Yeah," Karen agreed. "Now it really looks like dad's. Except mine is still more red."

"Mhm," Fitz nodded. "When it heals fully, it won't be so red anymore. It's healing really well, though!"

"And it doesn't hurt too much anymore. I think...I could do gym class again soon."

"Well, we've got to stick with what Doctor Bauer says, though, honey. It's very important that you don't do anything too strenuous yet. We just want to be careful," Mellie said.

Karen sighed. "Yeah. I know. I just miss gym."

"I know, honey. But you'll get there again," Mellie assured her. "I promise."

"Well, I guess I have to listen to you, because you are the best at your job," Karen said, smiling at her mother.

Mellie laughed, looking over at Fitz who was unloading the food. He looked back, nodding at her seriously.

"Oh, you think so, huh?" Mellie asked.

"Yep. Me and dad know it," Karen nodded.

Mellie looked over at Fitz again and he smiled at her briefly. Mellie flashed him a grateful look — one that he knew was truly very genuine.

She was still having a tough time forgiving herself for what had happened with Karen. And so was Fitz, for that matter. It would take time, and they knew that. But he knew hearing something like that from Karen, herself, probably felt good to Mellie.

"Well, you are just so sweet," Mellie said, kissing her forehead. "I try my hardest! Alright, why don't you feed your pup and then go wash up for dinner, okay?"

"Mmkay," Karen nodded, heading to grab Hank's food bowl.

When she went upstairs to wash up, Mellie looked at Fitz nervously.

"Well. Here we go. About to ruin the adorably happy mood she's always in," Mellie whispered, helping him dole out their food.

"Relax," Fitz whispered.

"Are you relaxed?" Mellie asked genuinely.

Fitz shook his head. "Of course I'm not. When on earth am I ever relaxed?"

Mellie nodded. "Good point."

"I think we should both talk," he whispered. "It will sound better coming from both of us together than just one of us. I can...I can start, if you want."

"Um...okay," Mellie nodded. "Okay."

They only had a few minutes for that discussion. To briefly summarize what needed to be said tonight, and how they'd go about it. But truly, all it was — was the truth. It wasn't something that they needed an eternity to go over. Being honest was all they needed to do.

So, after they started eating and made a little small talk amongst themselves like normal, Fitz looked over at Karen and prepared himself, as Mellie eyed him, too.

"Hey...sweetheart," Fitz said.

Karen looked up.

"Yeah?" she asked, chewing thoughtfully.

"Mom and I actually...wanted to talk to you tonight about something. Is that okay?" he asked.

She stopped chewing, looking between her parents nervously.

"Did I...do something wrong?" Karen asked.

"Oh, baby, no. You did nothing wrong," Mellie said.

"It's nothing you did, K. It's actually about...mom and me," Fitz nodded. "Remember, we told you...we were going to be more open with you going forward. And we meant that."

"Okay..." Karen replied, putting her fork down. She looked at them curiously.

Oh dear Jesus.

Fitz was nervous. His heart was beating fast, and he could hear the nervousness in his voice. But at the same time, he was still ready. He'd wanted this for so long, and this was a huge step to take. One of the biggest ones there was. He was ready for this. And he truly believed Karen would be too.

"Well. You've...mentioned a couple times now that...you've noticed how we have arguments sometimes. And that...we've pretended before," Fitz said.

Karen nodded slowly, still looking between them nervously.

"We just want to tell you that you are right. We do do that," he nodded. "And that's not something that moms and dads are supposed to do."

Karen kept nodding at them, but remained silent.

He looked at Mellie, wondering if she wanted to jump in yet. She took it as a cue and started talking. He could hear the nervousness in her voice even more than he could hear it in his.

"See, daddy and I...we've been married since you were just a baby," Mellie began.

"Yeah...you got married after you had me," Karen replied.

"Yes, yes we did, that's right," Fitz nodded.

"Right. Because we wanted to be the best parents for you. Because we just love you so much!" Mellie said with a smile.

Karen smiled back.

"But..." Mellie began, before pausing. She looked at Fitz, unable to find her words.

She looked like she was going to struggle, so Fitz tried to help her out.

"But sometimes...people shouldn't be married. Sometimes, they're just not...right for each other," Fitz explained. "Even if they're moms and dads together — it doesn't always mean...they should be husbands and wives together."

Mellie nodded in agreement, and they both stopped talking then, to see how Karen would react. She wasn't eating anymore; she was looking down at her food with a straight face, but still nodding.

"You are trying to tell me that...you are not good at being married," Karen stated, peering up at them nervously.

Fitz held his breath, looking over at Mellie.

"Yes. That's...what we're trying to tell you, honey," Mellie said, to which Fitz nodded.

Karen swallowed nervously, and nodded. "Yeah. I...already knew that."

Fitz looked at Mellie and he could tell she was a little taken aback. He was too. He also felt a mix of sadness, and relief. Sadness, because she was a smart kid, and she'd been living with this in her head for who knew how long. Relief, though, because perhaps after this conversation was over, it wouldn't hit her as hard as they feared it might. Not if she'd already processed that bit of it.

"How long have you known that, K?" Fitz asked gently.

She shrugged, playing with her food with her fork.

"I don't know. A while. I heard your fights for a long time. And then...you would always act happy in front of me. So...I would know it wasn't real happy. It was...pretending," Karen said.

Both had heard that from her already for the most part, but it still made them sigh in defeat. In shame.

"We're so sorry that we kept that from you. We should have...never pretended. And you should have never had to hear us fighting" Fitz said.

Karen shrugged in response. "It's okay."

Mellie shook her head. "No, baby. It isn't okay. That was wrong of dad and me. Because we kept the truth from you. We lied. And...lying isn't a good thing to do."

Karen nodded, eyeing them both. "I knew you were trying to do the right thing. I knew...you were trying to be a good mom and a good dad to me."

Fitz sighed, looking at his daughter intently. So mature, so intelligent. Maybe too much for her own good sometimes, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

"Well, thank you for saying that, honey. You're a very big girl, and...I think mom and I forget that sometimes. Because — we just remember when you were so little!" he said, trying to get her smiling again.

She did smile at her parents. And she looked so old sitting there, nodding at her parents.

"I know. I'm still sort of little. But...I am going to be 11 this year," she said, matter-of-factly.

Fitz and Mellie laughed.

"I know, I can't believe it!" Fitz exclaimed.

"Neither can I!" Mellie agreed.

Karen smiled, but then looked down at her plate again. Everyone waited for the conversation to continue, so Fitz jumped in again.

"So," Fitz began. "Mom and I are trying to do the right thing now. What we should have done a long time ago."

"...Telling me?" Karen asked.

"Yes. But also...mom and I are going to think about...separating. Do you know what that means?" Fitz asked.

Karen thought for a second. "I know what...divorcing means. So...separating is what comes first? Like...you will be more...separate from each other."

They both nodded in agreement.

"Yes, exactly right. How do you feel about that?" Mellie asked.

"Well...aren't you...already separated?" Karen asked. "You don't sleep in the same bed anymore like my friends' parents do."

Fuck.

Mellie looked at Fitz with raised eyebrows.

"How did you know that, honey?" Mellie asked.

Karen shrugged. "Because. Daddy has some of his things in the basement. And...I've heard him come up in the mornings before."

Fitz almost wanted to chuckle out loud. She. Heard. Everything!

But this wasn't the point of the conversation, so he moved it along.

"Well, we do sleep in different beds now. But...separation is a little more than just that," Fitz explained. "It also means...we live in different places."

Karen looked at him, processing.

"Oh."

Fitz eyed Mellie, seeing the nervousness in her eyes.

"What are you thinking, honey?" Mellie asked again.

"I guess...that will be weird," Karen said quietly.

"It will be a little different," Fitz agreed. "But...in the end, that's what's going to be the best for everyone."

"So...will we live in this house still?" Karen asked worriedly. "And what about...my school? Do I have to switch?"

"No, no, honey. Nothing like that. You get to stay living here, and going to your school," Mellie assured her. "We haven't talked through all of the details yet. But the only thing that would change is...you'd have another house somewhere else. With daddy."

Karen nodded slowly.

"...Where?"

"I'm not sure yet, baby. Like mom said, there are details we haven't...talked about yet. We just wanted to be very honest with you upfront, so that...you knew what was going to happen, and...you weren't surprised. Because you should get to know. We're not going to keep things from you anymore," Fitz said.

Karen looked down at the table, sitting back in her chair awkwardly.

Fitz felt nervous, because her demeanor now was much different than it had been throughout most of their conversation. She'd been pretty understanding and not surprised — until now. Now it seemed, she was truly understanding everything they were saying. All of its implications. Not just what was going on, but what that meant.

Her bottom lip started to tremble, and that's when Fitz's heart sunk.

"Oh, no, honey. Don't cry," Mellie said, getting up from her chair.

Fitz got up too. His appetite was gone anyway.

"Sorry," Karen whimpered, wiping her face embarrassedly.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. We are the ones that are sorry," Fitz said, crouching down on the other side of her.

He and Mellie were on either side of her, trying to comfort her as best they could.

"I get it. It makes sense to me," Karen nodded, wiping her tears quickly. "I am okay."

"Karen," Fitz said gently, squeezing her hand.

"Hmm?" she murmured.

"If you're not okay — that's okay. You can tell us if you're not. We know this is a lot to take in," Fitz said.

She shook her head, sniffling. "I am okay. I just...wasn't thinking it would mean things had to — be very different."

"They will be a little different," Mellie nodded. "But guess what?"

"Hm?" she asked, wiping her tearful eyes.

"You will still have the both of us. Always. You'll still have your favorite little pup. And no matter if we all live in the same house our not — you will always be our daughter. And we will always love you more than anything in the world. You know that, right?" Mellie asked.

Karen nodded immediately. "Yes — yes. I know that."

"Good," Mellie said, smiling.

"You know what mom and I were talking about last night?" Fitz asked.

"What?"

"We were talking about how you were the best thing to ever happen to us in our entire lives," Fitz said, giving her a smile.

Now Karen's smile started to show, as she looked back and forth between her parents.

"I am?" she asked.

"Of course you are," Mellie said, rubbing her back.

"By far," Fitz nodded. "We love you so much. And we always will. Just like mom said."

Karen nodded at her parents, and flashed them both a smile. "I love you both, too."

Fitz and Mellie smiled.

"Alright. I think dad and I need a hug," Mellie said.

"Absolutely," Fitz agreed.

Karen smiled and leaned into them both, wrapping her arms around them. Fitz and Mellie did the same — holding their daughter close.

All in all, it could have gone worse than that. Perhaps it could have gone better — the tears were hard to see. But it was going to be a big change. It was understandable.

Fitz looked at Mellie during their little group hug — and both flashed each other a genuine look, nodding at one another.

When they pulled away, they all stood up and Mellie grabbed Karen's plate. "Here, I'll warm up your chicken again, how's that sound?"

"Thanks, mom," Karen said. "I think...all our food got cold."

"That's okay. Easy fix," Fitz said, rubbing Karen's shoulder.

They all warmed up their food again, and sat back down to finish their dinner. It was quieter after that, that was for sure.

Karen's tears stopped, though, and that was a win, in itself. Plus, they still had some news yet that might cheer her up a bit.

"So, we do have some other news, baby. Some...happier news, maybe," Mellie said.

Karen looked up at her mom. "What is it?"

"Well, how would you like to go to Florida for spring break? Go stay at grandma Maggie's beach house for a little girls trip?" Mellie asked.

Karen perked up. "Really?"

"Really!" Mellie nodded. "What do you say?"

"Awesome," Karen nodded. "It will be so warm there. Who else is going? Grandma and auntie Harmony?"

"Mhmm," Mellie replied. "They are so excited."

Karen smiled, nodding happily.

It was nice to see that genuine, happy smile, even though her eyes were still red from crying.

"But...you won't go, dad?" Karen asked.

"No, I don't think so, honey. I would...ruin your girls' trip!" he teased. "Plus, I think I'm going to do a little house sitting for grandma Jean while she's away on her trip, too. And, someone's got to watch mister Hank."

Karen giggled, looking down at Hank. He was in his usual place; laying next to Karen's chair.

"Right. We can't forget about you, my Hank," she said, petting his head.

"You'll have to send me lots of pictures though, okay?" Fitz asked.

"Mmkay," Karen nodded. "I will."

"I'll let grandma Maggie and Harmony know after dinner that we're going to come along! I know they'll be so happy," Mellie nodded.

"Okay. I better plan ahead and get more books from the library before we go. That way...I'll have enough to read on the plane rides," Karen nodded seriously, taking another bite of her chicken.

Fitz and Mellie chuckled.

"Just like your dad with all that reading," Mellie said, smiling.

Karen smiled up at her dad, and he smiled back.

Karen finished eating and he and Mellie looked at each other almost in relief. There was definitely a twinge of uncertainty in their glances too, though. Uncertainty about how things would go from there, and what steps they'd take next. Uncertainty from Mellie in general, because Fitz knew she was still having a hard time with all of this deep down. It had taken a while to get her to the place they were at now — so he understood, and knew it wouldn't just be a flip of a switch for her.

After they all cleaned up from dinner, Karen went to practice her piano, assuring her parents she didn't need any help, or company.

Part of them wondered if she truly just wanted some space now. Space to process, and think on her own. So both Fitz and Mellie nodded, and told them they'd be listening to her beautiful playing from upstairs.

He figured Mellie was going to do what she always liked to when she wanted to unwind — read a magazine. And he wanted to take a shower, so he wasn't far behind her.

When he entered their bedroom, he found that she wasn't laying in bed relaxing quite yet. Instead, she was sitting on the edge of it, with her head down.

He didn't even have to ask her anything — he knew she was sad. Struggling.

Without a word, he closed the door behind him, and slowly made his way over to her.

He looked down at her, waiting for her to say something, because he wasn't going to. He didn't have the right words to say.

But she must not have either. She sniffled a little bit, and then stood up, and collapsed into his chest.

He was a bit surprised. But he wrapped his arms around her, hearing her cry quietly against his chest.

They hadn't had a genuine hug in forever. Years. Fake hugs, sure. Awkward half-hugs, absolutely. But not full-on, genuine hugs, like this one now.

He didn't say anything, he just embraced her. The mother of his child.

No matter what they'd put each other through — no matter what they'd done to one another — what they'd done earlier with Karen was a big thing. An important thing. And frankly, an emotional thing.

The sound of their daughter playing the piano was the only thing either of them heard, along with the occasional sniffle from Mellie.

She held onto him tightly and he rubbed her back, hoping to calm her down. He certainly didn't have the right words for this situation. But truly — he didn't think words were needed. Not now. Actions spoke louder.

It was a long time before she pulled away from him. She did so slowly, and they both looked at each other awkwardly.

But then they both gave each other a nod. A nod that seemed to say "thank you" and "we're good" at the same time.

She got into bed, and he headed to the bathroom to shower. And that was the end of that.

---

"Goodnight, you," Fitz said, smiling down at his daughter.

"Goodnight, dad."

"You doing okay?" he asked.

She nodded at him.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Mhm," she replied.

"Okay. I just want to be sure. You can tell me if you're not."

"I am. But I...have a question. Is that okay?"

"Absolutely," he nodded. "You can ask me anything."

"You and mom...weren't meant to be married. So...was it my fault then? Am I...the reason that you and mom were married, even though you didn't want to be?"

He shook his head immediately. "Oh, Karen. Baby, no. Nothing about this is...your fault. We did want to be married for you. But...that was our decision. Just ours, something you had no control over. And...I don't want you to think that mom and I being married was only a bad thing either, okay. Because that isn't true. We aren't...meant to be married. But...we've all had some very fun times in this house, haven't we?"

Karen smiled, and nodded.

"We have. And I don't ever want you to forget those, okay? I know mom and I won't."

"I won't," Karen replied confidently.

"Good," he said. "You can always remember the good times. Because there's been a lot of those, too. And...we'll have a lot of good times in the future too."

Karen nodded, looking up at him curiously. "So...where will we live, dad?"

He chuckled. "Well, where do you want to live?"

"I don't know," Karen replied. "It's weird to think...I will live somewhere else. And it will just be you and me there, and...just me and mom here. It is hard for me to picture it."

This is where he had to hold in more of the truth from his daughter — the fact that perhaps it wouldn't just be him and her all of the time. That there may be someone else there with them, too.

But holding that in, for now, was necessary. He didn't want there to be any more surprises. He wanted to be truthful with her. But they'd dropped a lot on her tonight, and he certainly didn't need to go into the whole "I'm dating someone" thing. And not just "someone." Olivia. Jesus — that would be a whole other conversation.

"I know," he nodded. "And you don't have to picture it yet, if you don't want to. This is all very fresh, and...I haven't even started looking for somewhere yet."

"When you look...maybe...I can look with you," she suggested.

He smiled. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Karen nodded.

"Well I would love that very much, K," he said.

She looked at him contently, and he brushed a few curls off her forehead.

"Do you have any more questions?" he asked kindly.

She laid there in thought, and shook her head. "No. I don't think so...right now."

"Okay. Well if you ever have any more questions — you can always ask me or mom, okay? Always."

"Okay, dad," she said. "Thank you for telling me those things today."

He sighed contently, rubbing his thumb across her little cheek. "Oh, honey. Thank you. We had some very grownup conversations today. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you."

"Alright," he said, tapping his cheek.

She smiled and sat up, kissing his cheek.

He gave her one too, and got up.

"I'll go get mom, okay?" he asked.

"Mmkay."

"Okay. Goodnight for real this time," he chuckled.

"Goodnight, daddy."

He went and let a very sleepy Mellie know that Karen was in bed and ready for her to go say goodnight.

And then he had plans to go and call Olivia, to let her know how everything had gone.

But before he could — he actually received a call, himself. A call from his mother.

He cleared his throat, answering the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi, my boy. Is this a bad time?"

"Oh, no. Not at all. It's never a bad time for my mother," he replied.

"Oh, Fitzgerald," Jean replied. "You are so sweet."

He chuckled. "Well thank you, mom."

"You're so like your father, you know."

He smiled, memories of his dad flashing through his head. The wonderful memories that he had as a child. They were still there.

"That's what I've always been told," he nodded.

"Well, it's the truth," Jean said matter-of-factly.

"Well, I'm glad you think so," he nodded. "So what's up, mom?"

"Right. Well — I was just calling to check in about spring break plans. Are you still thinking you're going to be home that week?" Jean asked.

"Yes, I was planning on house sitting for you," he nodded.

"Oh, wonderful! Thank you, son! You know I feel better with you there than anybody else," she replied.

"I know," he chuckled.

"You're not missing out on anything, are you? Because if you have an opportunity to go somewhere — you absolutely should. House sitting is not that important — I can always ask Shari," Jean said.

"No, it's really okay, mom. I'm not doing anything. Mellie and Karen are headed to Florida for a little girls week with Mellie's mom and sister, anyway. Kind of last minute, but...with um...with recent events it seemed like it would be something fun for Karen to...take her mind off things."

Jean paused.

"What do you mean with recent events? What's been going on?" Jean asked.

"I'll uh...I'll explain everything to you in person. It's just...it's a lot. But I don't want you to worry or anything — it's actually...good. I'm...feeling good with where we're at," he replied.

"Okay..." Jean replied skeptically. "You're sure everything's okay?"

"Very sure," he nodded. "How about I pick you up from the airport on that weekend when...you get back, and...we can sit down and talk — have coffee?"

"Oh, Fitzgerald. That sounds wonderful!" Jean exclaimed. "I'll make sure to have plenty of coffee there at the house for you."

"Sounds good, mom, thank you," he laughed.

"So...you'll just be all alone for a week in Rye, otherwise?" Jean asked worriedly.

"Well, actually I thought I might just stay at...your house for the week, if you're alright with that. I'd rather not make the drive back and forth throughout the week and...it's always nice to be home, anyway."

"Oh, well that sounds great to me! Absolutely you can stay there — you don't need to ask! It's your home!" Jean exclaimed. "I'll make sure to have the fridge and pantry stocked for you too then!"

He chuckled. "Mom, that's okay. You don't need to do that, I'll buy my own groceries."

"Oh — nonsense! Consider it my thank you for babysitting the house while I'm away," she said. "Now — what about work then? Did you take the week off? Otherwise that would be a pretty dreadful drive into the city."

"Well, I considered it, since it will be so slow in the office that week. So many people will be out of the office on vacation. I'm just going to...work from home though, I think. That way I can still check in when I need to, but...don't have to make the trip into work every day. I think it will be a nice little break for me, actually. I'm looking forward to that. I...am in need of a break."

"Oh, son. I know you are. You've been going through so much lately," she said. "Speaking of — have you got your appointment set up with that psychiatrist?"

"Yes, it's set up for the week after spring break," he nodded.

"Good, good. That's great news, darling," Jean said. "I have to say, I'm very pleased that Mellie initiated that. It was very nice of her."

"Yes," Fitz nodded. "It was very nice of her. It's...long overdue, I think."

"I know it is," Jean replied. "I don't like the thought of you feeling helpless. I know there's something out there for you that will help. I just know it. And I desperately wish we'd had better luck finding it before now."

"Well, that's my fault, mom," he replied. "It hasn't always been my number one concern. I always feel that...I'm fine without. I've been fine. But...I know that...it can be better than this. I just have to put in the effort. So I'm going to try harder this time."

"I'm happy to hear it, honey. And I'm sorry it's something you even have to deal with. Your grammy Mae was the same way," Jean said sadly.

"It's alright. No sense in...dwelling on something I can't control. It is what it is," he said.

"Unfortunately, you're right," she sighed. "But you're sure that you're okay? I know you're dealing with a lot right now — more than I know."

"Yes. I'm alright. I've got...great friends, my daughter, and my mother in my corner," he said, smiling.

"Always, my boy. Always. You know you're always my number one," Jean said.

"I know, mom. I'm...very lucky to have you," he replied.

"I'm very lucky," she exclaimed. "I love you so very much, Fitz."

"I love you too, mom."

"Of course you do!" Jean exclaimed, which had him chuckling. "Now — I don't want to take up too much of your night. I just wanted to check in and confirm with you about spring break. I'm sure I'll be in touch with you before then and we can talk more about it."

"Okay, mom. Sounds good," he nodded.

"And...hey," she added. "Have a friend over, or...something."

He raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"A friend!" she exclaimed.

"A friend?" he chuckled. "Well, thanks, mom. This is taking me back to…like, my teenage days living at home."

She cracked up on the other end.

"Well, I'm serious! You think I want you to spend that whole week alone? That's no fun, is it. I certainly don't do that, I have my girlfriends over all the time to keep me company!" she replied.

"Got it," he chuckled. "So…I should invite…a friend."

"Yes. A…friend," she nodded. "I know you've got…good friends."

He raised an eyebrow again.

Was this her talking to him without...really talking to him? Sometimes he really couldn't tell with her.

"Hmm. Okay. I will…I will do that, mom, thank you," he nodded.

"Good," Jean said satisfactorily. "That makes your old mom feel better."

"I'm glad, mother," he chuckled.

"Now, I can let you go so you can get on with your night. I'll be in touch again soon. I love you," she said.

"Okay. I love you too, mom."

"Goodnight, my boy."

"Goodnight."

He hung up, looking up from his phone and thinking that was just a bit odd.

He didn't know if he was nuts for thinking his mom knew certain things about his life, especially since there were many things he had not explicitly told her. Or if it just made sense — because she was his mother and he wasn't all that great at hiding things all the time. Who knew. But, he did keep what she'd said in mind as he called Olivia.

"Hi, baby. How are things?" Olivia asked immediately.

"They're…really good, actually. They're really good," he nodded. "We told K, Livvie."

"Yeah? What…what did you tell her? What did she say? Is she okay? Are you okay?" Olivia asked quickly.

He chuckled at her rapid questions. Nothing new there.

"Baby, everything's okay. I promise. It went…pretty well, I think. I really think it did. There was a lot that…she already knew, to be honest," he said. "We gave her the rundown. About…us separating, and me living somewhere else. She got a little teary-eyed, which was…hard to take. But…she understood. She really did. She…she is so strong, and so mature."

Olivia sighed. "Well...okay. Okay, that sounds like it went well for the most part. I'm so sorry she was sad, though. That…ugh. That makes me sad."

"The reason she was sad wasn't because of the fact that...we are starting to separate. That was actually…kind of what she already knew. She knew things weren't good between us, and I think…she was relieved that we confirmed that for her. But…what she didn't think about was what that all meant. I think…the idea of us living separately wasn't something she'd thought through, and...she got nervous about that."

"Yeah, that's understandable," Olivia replied. "Aw, K. I feel...so bad, Fitz."

"Don't feel bad, baby. She knew a lot of it already," he nodded. "It was hard. And it will take some adjusting, but...we already knew that. This needed to be done, and now it is. That's one hard conversation out of the way."

"Yeah. Yeah, I know, you're right, and I'm so glad it went pretty well," Olivia nodded. "How are you doing? How is…Mellie doing?"

"I'm okay. I was…much more prepared to do it than she was. She was…sad. I think she is just having a hard time dealing with it all, and...telling Karen. I think it just brings about…negative feelings for her, in general" he said.

"Yeah. Also understandable," she nodded. "I'm so sorry she is feeling that way. I really am."

"I know you are, baby," he said. "But like I said, it needed to be done; she knows that, too. And…as a kid, she...never had any conversations like this with her parents. Her parents dealt with things…horribly. So I think she's still…very glad that we went about it this way. She was the one who suggested we do it all today, after all."

"Right," Olivia said. "Well, I'm glad you all had this conversation tonight. I'm really hoping that…the more difficult part is past you all, and things from here on out aren't so painful."

"I think that's the case," he nodded. "There's more to come. Finding a place to live. Divorce. And…telling her about you. But...we'll get there."

"I know we will," Olivia replied. "I'm…so excited to get there, Fitz."

"Me too," he said, a small smile forming on his face.

"So…when are you going to start looking at places?" she asked curiously.

"Now," he nodded. "And actually…I think Karen's going to look with me sometime. She said...she wanted to."

"Aww, that's so great!" Olivia exclaimed. "I'm sure that's hard for her to grasp, so…that's great news that she wants to look with you. Do you know…where you're going to look?"

"I'm not sure yet. I've briefly discussed it with Mellie; obviously it can't be too far away, for Karen. We'll see. I'd like, ideally, for…it to be close to you, as well."

He could practically hear her smiling. "Oh, baby. I would love that. So much."

"I would love that too," he nodded. "Maybe you can look with me, too. Over…spring break?"

"Oh, are we going to go house hunting for you while we're on those dates you spoke about?" she giggled.

"Maybe. Or…you could come to my mom's house with me," he suggested.

"Come to…your mom's?" she asked.

"If you want to, yeah. Like I said, I'm planning on being there all week. And…I was just talking to my mom on the phone before this, and...she was so adamant that I 'bring a friend'," he laughed.

She laughed back. "Bring a friend?!"

"Yes. I kid you not," he chuckled. "I…kind of wondered if she was hinting at something, but I just…can never tell with her, honestly."

"You mean, like…hinting at you spending time with me over break?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah…maybe? I don't know. She doesn't want me to be alone, which is very much like her and I'm not surprised about that. But…just the way she said it made me wonder," he said. "I don't know. But…I think I'm going to have a conversation with her when she gets back from Turks about everything going on. And…depending on how the conversation goes, I might tell her, Liv."

"You might tell her about me?" Olivia asked.

"Maybe," he nodded. "Does that…scare you?"

"No, not really," Olivia replied. "I mean…you're so close to her, so…I think she deserves to know at some point in the near future. I just hope…she doesn't dislike me after you tell her, because I think she really likes me as of now!"

"Not possible," he shook his head. "You are the most likable person on Earth."

She giggled. "Oh, Fitz. You are too sweet."

"It's just the truth," he shrugged. "Plus…I have always wondered if she had a feeling about you and me. I don't know…how the hell she would know for sure, but…she's my mom, and she can read me better than most. Whether she knows or not…there's no way she could dislike you. That woman loves you."

"Well, that feeling is very much reciprocated," Olivia said. "She's the sweetest woman."

"She is," he agreed. "So anyway. If you're up to it and you want to spend some time in the Hamptons with me…you are more than welcome to. In fact, you are encouraged to."

"Well, I think it would be rude of me to refuse this offer!" she exclaimed. "That sounds…amazing to me, Fitz. I am very gratefully saying yes. That sounds like a wonderful spring break to me."

He smiled.

"It sounds pretty good to me too."

---

Well, there you go. A lot more progress, and some future plans being made!

The next chapter(s) will be spring break in the Hamptons!

Thank you as always for continuing on this journey with me.

Read on and stay safe,

~T