Hooked On… Something

…

Link had no idea how it had happened. One moment, he was taking inventory on their new shipment of cargo: a ton of fertilizer produced by the ranchers of Rake Island.

The next, he hung suspended by his jacket just outside of his reach of the Grand Sail's weather deck. He had donned the blue jacket because the air around Rake Island tended to be cold in the early morning. Now, the large hook used by the crane lowering the cargo into the hold below suspended him by the back of his jacket. What worse, when the hook pulled up, his closed jacket pulled up until it was wedged securely under his arms. He could not raise his shoulders to slip out of the jacket lest he dislocate them, leaving his jacket bunched up around his chest. The crane operator must have gone on break right after it had happened because Link had been suspended above the deck for twenty minutes before anyone had noticed.

The first person to notice was Line. And Link had to endure Line's hysterical laughing for five minutes before any sort of conversation started.

"Wh-what'd you do?" Line asked as he picked himself up from the deck.

"I don't know!" Link shouted at him. "Just get me down!"

"It's—pft!" Line spat as he tried to hold back his laughter. "I'm sorry, but it's just—just so stupid!"

"Line!" Link whined.

"Okay, okay." Line stepped around Link and examined him. "Wow, it's really got you. How did you manage this?"

"I told you I don't know!"

"Okay, I got an idea." Line stepped in front of Link again and got to his hands and knees. "Get on my back."

Link reached out a foot. Then he kicked to give himself some swing. "I can't! You're too far away!"

"Just let me—DAH!" Line rolled onto his side when Link's flailing feet smacked his temple. "Ow! Link!"

"Wah-I'm sorry! Come on, try it again; I won't kick!"

Line rose to his feet with a hand on his head. "No! Just forget it!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"You kicked me in the head!"

"I'm really sorry! But you were the one who wasn't paying attention!"

Line indicated the deck. "I was giving you something to stand on!"

"You weren't close enough! How could you not see that?"

"Oh, so it's my fault you're stuck on a hook?"

"No, it's your fault I'm still stuck on a hook!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

A crowd of Skyrider airmen had formed around the arguing pair. Line, unable to follow through with the argument, placed his hands on Link's stomach and shoved.

"Whoa-whoa-WAAAH!" Link hollered as he swung, flailing his forearms to no avail. He started kicking again to change his direction and subsequently delivered a boot to the face of a crewmate who had just turned to make a comment to his buddy.

His buddy caught Link by one ankle. "Damn you, Line!" he declared. Then he reared back and swung Link straight at Line. Link hollered again as he swung across the deck. Line side-stepped his friend, and the airman behind Line caught Link by the ankle again.

"Dodge this!" the airman shouted. He swung Link fast. Line did not have enough time to turn and notice and, as a result, collided with Link and fell to the deck.

The impact left Link without any momentum. He looked down at his friend and commented, "Should've seen that one coming…"

"Oh, yeah?" Line said as he got back to his feet. He grabbed Link's ankle and backpedaled away from the offending airman.

"NonolinewaiiiIIIIII—!" Link shouted as Line ran forward and shoved Link as hard as possible. The airman on the other side grabbed the airman to his right and pulled him in front as a shield. Link's flailing legs hit the man in front, and the defending airman caught Link by his trouser leg before he could swing out of reach. "Oh, come on, you guys! Quit it!"

"I got you, you little punk!" the airman said to Line before tossing Link again. Line side-stepped and grabbed the back of Link's tunic. This proved to be a bad idea because Link swung fast enough to pull Line off-balance. Line hit the deck hard, and another airman stepped forward to catch Link by the seat of his trousers.

"Hey, Grant!" this airman shouted. "Catch!" Link felt himself shoved hard from behind. His target, Airman Grant, took the warning for how it sounded and caught Link by the ankle. Without a word, though, Grant threw Link at another airman across the circle.

Link spent what must have been half an hour pleading with his fellow airmen while they played an impromptu game of what they spontaneously decided to call "Dodge-Link". The rules were simple enough: try to hit one of your crewmates with Link. Some cheated and spun Link hard enough to clock the guy standing next to him with Link's free leg. They kept track of their own points. One point for striking someone else. Half a point if that someone else happened to be standing next to you. Two points for calling out the name of the target. Bonus points were taken for hitting Line, called or not, although the points taken often depended on how far behind the airman was. Points were lost for getting hit because the requirement for being hit was being stupid enough not to pay attention.

Everyone lost when the command staff found out. Confounded by the lack of work, Chief of the Deck Rota stepped onto the weather deck to see what was going on. He went back below shaking his head, convinced that they would return to work soon enough. Later, Captain Alfonzo and Lieutenant Luke exited the captain's cabin when the commotion rose enough for them to notice. The captain had been examining a ceremonial saber left over from a few years back, and he strode out onto the deck with it and his second to see what was going on. Upon seeing them, airmen immediately stepped out of the captain's way.

Link, having been swung in their direction, missed the captain and kicked Luke in the face. Luke dropped to the deck hard, trying to hold back his urge to curse and a nosebleed.

"Captain on deck!" someone shouted. Every airman in the group immediately stood stiff, including Line. This was unfortunate for Line, as Link collided with him and knocked him to the deck again.

Alfonzo strode forward and, being large, put a single hand around the rope holding Link to the crane. "Line, get up," he ordered.

Line scrambled to his feet and saluted. "Aye, sir!"

The captain's gaze swept around the airman. "Let me point out to you mangy scabs that while you've been playing, part of a cargo of poo is sitting in the hold, stinking up my ship! I personally don't like it! I've got the face of every man here. And guess what. You idiots just volunteered to guard our cargo from people who might decide to steal it. Oh, you won't be guarding it all at once. The goddesses know I'm not that crazy. No, in the time you're supposed to have off-duty, you'll be standing or sleeping guard in the hold with our beloved cargo of scat! Now get back to work before I decide to make that your permanent job!"

The airmen did not give him any response as they scrambled back to their positions: some checking the rigging, others carrying smaller cargo and supplies onto the ship. Line disappeared into the hold.

Luke stepped up to the captain, handkerchief held over his bleeding nose. "Just when you think you've seen it all, aye, Captain?"

"Aye," Alfonzo said with a nod.

He started walking away until Link spoke up, "Uh, C-Captain?"

"Huh?" Alfonzo turned as if realizing that Link was on the hook. "Oh, right. Don't worry, Link, you're off the hook."

The captain turned again, so Link asked, "C-Captain? I-I can't get down."

Alfonzo turned back and looked up the length of rope holding Link. "Oh, sorry, kid."

Then, he whipped out the saber in his hand and sliced through the rope in a single stroke. Link fell to the deck, giving off a pained grunt when the hook that had been holding onto his jacket struck his lower back. His next words came out low and muffled.

"Thanks, Captain."