After dropping the kids off at school, Lillian and Grace walked away from the building together. Grace assured Lillian that she could handle getting the children's dinner and to bed again if she wanted to stay late with Gabriel. Like the afternoon before, Lillian would make sure the children got home from school so that Grace could work a little later. At the mercantile, the sisters parted ways. Grace continued on to the hotel, while Lillian stepped inside to see about picking up a few things that Eleanor had said she needed.
Joe was helping a customer as she walked in, though the store owner did acknowledge her presence with a nod. Lillian raised her hand briefly as she went about getting the items that Eleanor wanted. The other customer was just leaving as Lillian approached the counter with her items.
"Is that all for you today?" Joe asked.
Lillian nodded. "Eleanor just needed a few items that were low," she replied. "I'll walk them back out to the orphanage before going back to Gabriel's place."
"Would you like me to take them out for you?" Joe offered, anxious to do something to help. The store owner had stopped by briefly the evening before to see Gabriel.
Lillian shook her head. "Thank you for the offer," she told him. "Carson was going to do some therapy with Gabriel before he went over to the infirmary. I get the feeling that Gabriel does not really want an audience for that, so I thought I would hold off going back."
Joe nodded. "I could understand that," he replied, thinking of his own reluctance to even do the therapy exercisers that Maggie had suggested. He gave Lillian the total for her items and she gave him the money. "If there is anything I can do for Gabriel, or for you for that matter, let me know," Joe told her, as he put her purchases into the basket Lillian was carrying.
"I will and we appreciate that," Lillian told him.
"Tell Gabriel I will stop by again after I close the store this evening."
"I will. Have a good day, Joe," Lillian said, lifting her basket from the counter.
Despite telling Joe that she wanted to give Gabriel some time alone with Carson, Lillian still walked out to the orphanage at a brisk pace. She gave Eleanor the requested items. The older woman then handed Lillian a basket with fresh baked goods in, including the brownies she had learned Gabriel liked.
With the basket of baked goods, Lillian started the trek back toward town. More people were out and about the town now and several stopped Lillian to inquire about Gabriel. When she finally reached the Mounted Police Office, Lillian walked around to the private residence. Not wanting to alarm Gabriel even though he was expecting her back, she knocked on the door before opening it.
"Gabriel, it is just me," Lillian announced as she stepped inside.
"Hello, Lillian," Gabriel said from where he was sitting in the rocking chair. He had a blanket covering his lap and legs. He looked tired to Lillian despite it still being morning. "Carson just headed over to the infirmary a few minutes ago."
"Eleanor sent some baked goods," Lillian said, holding up the basket as she walked over to the table. "She even made brownies for you."
"Thank her for me, please," Gabriel replied.
"I will," Lillian assured him. Having placed the basket on the table she turned to look at Gabriel as she shed her hat, gloves, and coat. "How are you feeling?"
"I know I have not been up long, but I feel exhausted. Carson told me to move around as much as I can tolerate but right now, after that session with Carson, I have no desire to move. He says I should start feeling better soon."
"Just listen to the doctor. Can I get you anything?" Lillian asked as she placed her coat over the back of one of the chairs.
"Just come sit with me?" Gabriel requested.
"Will that chair hold both of us?" Lillian asked.
Gabriel laughed. "I will not tell Nathan that you even asked that question," he told her.
Lillian felt the heat rise slightly in her cheeks. She wasn't even sure why she had asked that question. It wasn't even her real concern.
"I do not want to cause you any pain," Lillian admitted.
"Just about any movement I make right now hurts, Lillian but I also just want to have you close right now."
Lillian didn't respond with words as she walked toward the rocking chair. Carefully, she settled herself in Gabriel's lap, one hand around his neck as she leaned against him. He wrapped his right arm around her, while his left hand held her right hand.
"I was so worried when I heard you were missing," Lillian admitted. Something about being so close to Gabriel was making it easier to express her feelings. "As hard as it was for me though, I realize that it must have been worse for you. I want to support you but I feel like I do not know how best to do that without knowing what you went through, out there."
"I do not want to upset you more, Lillian," Gabriel told her.
"Please?" Lillian requested. "I know the details might be hard to hear, but I want to know. I think I would rather know the truth then to let my imagination come up with scenarios."
"What are your plans for today?" Gabriel asked her.
"Staying with you until I need to pick the kids up at school if you will have me," Lillian told him.
Gabriel smiled. "I like that answer," he admitted. "If you do not mind though, could you wait for the answer about what happened until O'Reilly comes by. You can stay when I give my report to him but I am not sure that I am up to going through everything twice this morning."
"Of course," Lillian said, seeing the emotional pain in Gabriel's eyes. "I understand," she assured him. The mention of O'Reilly though reminded her about something that the Mountie officer had brought up. "Super Intendant O'Reilly seemed concerned about you putting in a resignation. Was there a particular reason for that?"
"I mentioned it to Nathan out in that cabin," Gabriel told her. "In that moment, I felt like I could not keep going. Between being shot and the incident with Trenton and now this. I am just not sure that being a Mountie is worth making myself a target. Whether it is worth putting you and Billy through the constant worry. Putting you or the children in danger."
Lillian gave the hand she held a squeeze. "I feel like I should be ecstatic to hear you say that but I am not. As much as you being a Mountie scares me and causes me to worry, I do not like seeing you defeated like this."
"Nathan told me to hold off making any decision."
"He is right," Lillian said immediately.
Gabriel smiled. The fact that Lillian was not jumping at the chance of him thinking about resigning and encouraging it told him that she truly did love him.
Lillian let go of Gabriel's hand and reached up to place it against his cheek. "When I consented to let you, court me, I accepted you, profession and all. I knew what I was getting into. I had already talked about my fears with Elizabeth, who knows exactly what it can cost to love a Mountie. Do not make this decision based on what you think Billy or myself wants. What we want most, is for you to be happy. For that to happen, you need to be happy with what you do. Have you even thought about what you would do if you resigned?"
"Not really," Gabriel admitted, leaning his head into the hand on his cheek. "I know I could hold my own as a hand on any of the ranches. I learned enough from my father to handle that. However, that kind of work did not call to me back then, and it still does not call to me." Gabriel paused briefly, running his left hand across the smooth surface of the chair's arm. "I do not have the skill with wood that Nathan has, though I am sure I could learn."
"I think you could learn to do any thing you wanted to," Lillian said. "However, if there is not a desire to do the work, it is simply a job, not a calling. While I know you would do it, I would rather you were not doing a job simply to help support me and any children we might have."
Gabriel nodded. "You make a good point."
"You have at least two weeks leave. You do not need to rush this choice," Lillian added. "You might feel different a week from now. Know that you have my support no matter what you decide to do. I just want you in my life and I still want to start our life together as soon as we can. I want to be your wife, Gabriel, as soon as we can figure out how to make that happen."
Gabriel slowly lifted his left hand to touch Lillian's cheek, ignoring the ache in his arm that the movement made. Gazing into her eyes he asked, "are you sure? I know the details of a wedding mean more to women then a man. I do not want us to rush this and you later feel like you were robbed of a special day."
"Friday night, I knew something was not right," Lillian told him as she held his gaze. "I did not know what, nor could I explain how I knew, but I knew. If we were already married, something could have been done earlier about looking for you even if there was no way of stopping what happened. I want to know that you are home safely at the end of the day. I think I will have trouble falling asleep after this if I do not have that reassurance. Fancy details do not matter compared to that. All I need are the people closest to us, with us when we say our vows. Which I guess means waiting until Elizabeth is up to traveling because I will not ask you to do this without Nathan being able to be here."
"If you are sure of that choice, Lillian, we might not have to wait as long as you think. Nathan invited us to come stay with him and Elizabeth. What do you think about getting married in Hope Valley? There are only three children at the orphanage right now, which means it would be more feasible for Grace to bring them to Hope Valley for the wedding then if there were more."
"The Coulters have wanted us to come visit them," Lillian admitted, considering the idea. "What about your parents?"
"I will send a telegram to my parents and tell them we decided not to wait to get married. I will ask them when they can get to Hope Valley. It will actually probably be easier on my father to leave the ranch now then in June."
"What about Billy? His world has been in such upheaval lately. Us getting married will only contribute to that."
"Me marrying you will upset his world no matter when it happens. It happening now, rather than after he gets more comfortable here, with it just being the two of us, might even be easier on him. I can see that he is more comfortable with you. He is calling you Miss Lillian and he even chose to stay with you at the orphanage. As long as he feels included in the process, I think Billy will be all right."
Lillian felt emotions bubbling up inside of her. There was the trepidation that things were suddenly happening so fast. She had always liked being able to meticulously plan things though she had grown to understand that sometime life did not allow that. The worry that she would not be a good wife to Gabriel or the maternal figure that Billy needed. She felt anxiousness at all the things that needed to be done even for the simplest wedding. What if Grace did not want to bundle up the children and make the trip to Hope Valley? She could not get married without her sister there. She knew that fear was silly though because Grace would happily do everything she could to make this happen for her, just as she would do the same for Grace. Prevalent over all of them though was the love she felt for this man before her. A man who willingly put his own safety in jeopardy to protect the people he served. A man who had voluntarily come help make roof repairs on the orphanage. A man who had voluntarily taken on teaching Vincent, Christian and even Fred skills that they would normally learn from a father. A man who took a few moments to make all the children at the orphanage feel special every time he saw them. A man who had taken a scared, young boy who had been failed by relatives and the system into his own home.
Gabriel was special and Lillian knew she was blessed to have him in her life. To be loved by him.
"Is this what you really want, Lillian? I would happily marry you today but I will also wait for you. You are worth waiting for. I want you to have a wedding that you can look back on with happy memories and not feel like it was just something you rushed into."
Lillian nodded. "I am ready to be your wife, Gabriel. All we really need are the people who mean the most to us to share the day and I will be happy. My adoptive mother's wedding dress is in the back of the closet. I may need Rosemary's help but I should be able to make the alterations to it in a few days. What will you wear?"
"Well, even if I do end up resigning, right now I am still a Mountie. I planned on getting married in my dress uniform and I do not see why that has to change."
"Will we have enough time to do this before you need to be back at work?"
"You heard, O'Reilly," Gabriel told her. "He gave me two weeks mandatory medical leave and if I needed more time to let him know. I have some leave time saved up that I planned on using for the wedding anyway. Let me see how much time my parents need to make the trip and then we make our plans from there."
"All right," Lillian said. She felt excited and scared at the same time. This was really happening. "We are getting married," Lillian said, feeling the need to say it out loud.
The next thing she was aware of, was Gabriel's lips finding hers, as his hand moved from her cheek to behind her head. Lillian willingly returned the kiss. Though her one hand remained on Gabriel's cheek, the fingers of her other hand found their way into his hair.
For the next few minutes, the only thing that existed was the two of them and the love that they shared. It was Gabriel who broke away first, his breaths coming in short gasps as he leaned his head back slowly. Though she would have had the time to move her hand, Lillian left it on the back of Gabriel's head letting him rest his head against it.
"Are you okay?" Lillian asked a bit concerned, her right hand still resting against his left cheek. She could not help but wonder if she should move from his lap. Before she could do so though, Gabriel gently pulled her toward him. The chair rocked backwards with the shift of their weight.
"This is the best I have felt in the last couple of days," Gabriel assured her.
"If you are in pain . . ."
Lillian let her words drift away as Gabriel shook his head.
"Do not even suggest moving," Gabriel told her. "Just having you in my arms cancels out any pain, I feel."
Lillian laughed as rested her head against Gabriel's shoulder, her forehead resting against his cheek. For now, she was content just to be held by her fiancé. They had further plans to make but even they could wait for a bit. For now, she would just enjoy the alone time with Gabriel, knowing that it would not last forever.