As the door leading to the outside steps closed behind Pearl, Joe looked around his place. Pearl was right. She had done wonders with even his bare bones place. A beige sheet had been expertly tucked and draped on the settee, hiding the stained cushions and the small rip on the one arm. Two burgundy cushions made the two chairs at the table look more inviting, though even the cushions could not hide the fact that they did not quite match. A matching burgundy table cloth covered the scarred table top. A thick, round, squat candle sat in the middle of the table surrounded by a wreath of holy, just waiting to be lit. Two plates, metal lids that Pearl had brought with her over them, sat ready on the table. Decorative pieces made from holly and pine cones were placed tastefully around the room.
It wasn't the Royal Brookfield but they would have privacy.
A knock sounded on the outside entrance. Joe reached up to adjust his tie, looked down to make sure he had remembered to remove his apron. He might not be high class but the apron look would not be good for a dinner. Relieved that he had remembered to leave the apron downstairs, Joe moved to the door.
Reaching the door, he opened it to reveal Maggie standing on the landing. "Hello, Maggie. Come on in," he said, motioning her inside and out of the cold.
"Hello, Joe," Maggie replied easily as she stepped into the apartment. "The table looks lovely and the food smells delicious," she said as she looked around.
"Pearl is responsible for both," Joe told her as he shut the door.
Turning from the door, Joe watched as Maggie smoothed down her hair having just removed her winter cap. The simple act made Joe catch his breath. Memories of lying in bed at night and watching Lissett brush out her long black tresses came to him. Lissett's hair had always felt so smooth and silky. Joe suddenly found himself wondering if Maggie's blonde hair felt the same and felt guilty. He could not really say what he felt guilty about - wondering if Maggie's hair felt like Lissett's, or just thinking about Lissett when he was suppose to be spending time with Maggie.
Part of Elizabeth Grant's letter came back to him. When I first started having romantic feelings for other men, I felt guilty. Even though Jack shared his wish for me to find love again, it felt like a betrayal at first. Later, I found myself thinking of things I shared with Jack when I was with Nathan or with Lucas and I felt guilty that I was thinking of Jack when I was with them. It took me awhile to accept that my feelings were perfectly natural. There was no need for guilt - not in letting myself love someone else or in remembering the times I had with Jack. Jack will always be a part of me, just like Lissett will always be a part of you. Remember Lissett. The love you shared with her made you who you are today. It made you who Maggie is falling in love with now. Share it with Maggie, because if she truly loves you, she will cherish the fact that you are sharing with her all of you. Nathan does. He has accepted that Jack is a part of me and therefore a part of our family.
He felt a hand softly touch his arm, and found that Maggie had closed the distance between them. Her left hand was on his right arm as she peered up at him.
"Are you okay, Joe? You seemed far away there?" Maggie asked, the concern evident in her voice.
Joe smiled. "I was for a bit," he admitted, giving himself a mental shake. "Thanks for bringing me back to the present," he added. He saw that though she was still wearing her coat that she had unbuttoned it. "Let me take your coat," he said, reaching for it.
Smiling, Maggie turned to let Joe slip the coat from her arms. Joe hung the coat on an empty hook by the door.
"You said you had something you wanted to talk to me about," Maggie commented, clearly trying to open the door to a conversation thinking that his distance had something to do with what he wanted to talk to her about.
Joe, nodded as he turned back to her. "I do," he admitted. "However, the conversation can wait until after we eat. Pearl was kind enough to make us a lovely meal and we should not let it get too cold," he said, as he offered Maggie his arm.
Maggie smiled as she looped her arm through Joe's. Though it was not a far distance to cover, Maggie let herself be led to the table.
"Thank you," Maggie said as Joe let go of her hand and held one of the chairs for her.
Joe took a seat opposite of Maggie. Bowing his head, he said a quick grace over the food. "Thank you Lord for blessing my life with good friends, one of which was kind enough to prepare the food you have provided for myself and my lovely dinner companion. Thank you for bringing Maggie into my life and I pray for your guidance in our relationship no matter where that may take us. Amen."
"Amen," Maggie echoed across the table from him.
Looking up, Joe's eyes met Maggie.
"That was a sweet blessing," Maggie told him.
"It came from my heart," Joe replied. "A heart that I am finally allowing God to heal. I think he sent you to help that process."
Maggie blushed as she reached a hand across the table to him. Joe reached out and placed his hand in hers. "Healing has always been my calling, and it is even more special when you can help those you care about heal."
Joe nodded. Relief that Maggie had not used the word love. Did he love Maggie? Joe thought he did but somehow he was not quite ready to hear or use that word quite yet.
"Shall we try this meal that Pearl prepared for us?" Joe asked.
Maggie nodded. "Let's," she said, letting go of his hand and reaching for the handle of the lid covering her plate.
They kept the conversation to easy topics as they enjoyed the meal. They talked about their days, about things that had happened in the area, and even spent a little time discussing the reception for Lillian and Gabe. They had decided that Maggie would broach the subject with Ronnie which she had. She had also recruited the help of Grace, broaching the subject as if Ronnie had already agreed to having the reception. At that point, Grace had come over, gushing about how sweet a gesture it was and how Lillian and Gabriel would appreciate it. At that point, Ronnie knew he could not decline without looking like the bad guy.
Though the food was good, Joe enjoyed the company more. Though he had always interacted with people with the store, Joe was starting to realize how much he had been missing out on companionship over the years. Gabriel had been one of the few people he had really spent a whole lot of time with, and as great a person as Gabriel was, there was something about Maggie's presence that was not there when he spent time with his friend.
After the meal, they enjoyed the lemon pound cake that Pearl had left for them.
"I have been to places all around the world, but no cake has ever tasted as good as Pearl's," Maggie commented with closed eyes after taking her first bite.
"Well then I know exactly where to get my cakes from now on," Joe commented as he committed the look on Maggie's face to memory. He never wanted to forget Lissett, but he knew he was beginning to feel that way about Maggie as well. If the British nurse were to ever walk out of his life, he knew it would leave a hole. Would it be as big a hole as Lissett had left? Joe did not have that answer. What he did know was he needed to know where Maggie stood before letting his heart get too invested in their relationship.
They enjoyed their cake in a peaceful silence, just enjoying one another's company. During that silence, Joe reached into his pocket and fingered the cameo he had bought at Valentine's. He had not been able to give it to Maggie then, but depending on how the conversation went tonight, Joe felt ready to take that step.
When they were done eating, Joe took the time to clear the table. He however left the dishes for after Maggie left. With the table cleared and the candle blown out, Joe escorted Maggie over to the settee. Despite its worn look, the donated piece of furniture from the Mendelson's who had pulled this out of storage for Joe, Joe had always enjoyed how comfortable it was. Pearl's modification hid the worn look, and Joe was not at all embarrassed about having company sit there.
"So, are you going to tell me now what it is you wanted to discuss?" Maggie asked easily as they sat together on the settee. Both of them sat at a slight angle, so that they could face one another. Maggie rested a hand on the exposed cushion between them, providing Joe an opportunity to take her hand if he wished.
"Yes," Joe replied, nervously, noticing Maggie's hand. Wiping his hand on his pant leg to make sure it was not sweaty, he reached out and took it and then looked up to meet Maggie's patient gaze. "Maggie, I have been enjoying the time we have been spending with you."
"I have too," Maggie replied, a soft smile gracing her features.
"You are easy to talk to. You are beautiful inside and out, and the more that I get to know you the more I see that beauty."
Maggie blushed at the compliment but this time remained silent as Joe continued.
"You are understanding and I have appreciated your patience as I tried to sort things out within. I recently took Gabriel's advice and wrote to Elizabeth Grant about losing Lissett and the difficulty I have had moving on, as she has gone through a similar situation. I am glad I did, because more than anything, hearing her words helped to validate my own feelings. It does help to know that you are not the only one to feel certain things, especially when you are not proud of those thoughts and feelings."
Maggie applied gentle pressure to the hand that held hers. "I am so proud of you for reaching out, Joe. It is a wonderful step in the healing process."
Joe nodded. "Elizabeth gave me specific advice on pursuing a relationship with you. She said that one of her regrets is trying to struggle so long on her own with the inner turmoil of falling in love with someone else. She said she had wished she had opened herself sooner to the patient love that Nathan was offering her, and allowed herself to be healed by letting someone show her that she was still worthy of love. That though she still struggles at times with her memories and her longing of having Jack back, that those struggles are easier because she has Nathan to be her strength when she is feeling weak."
"A beautiful description of what love should be," Maggie said. "So, where does that leave us?"
Joe lifted their clasped hands and placed his second hand around hers. "It leaves us at a place where I ask you about your intentions of settling here in Brookfield," he told her. "I know you have a sense of adventure. It is one of the things I love about you. However, Brookfield is my home. It has been for so long. I almost left it once, and I was shown by the people who care about me exactly what it is I love about this town. I'm not saying I am against taking trips, but this is my home. I cannot imagine living anywhere else. I am not asking you for a lifetime commitment at this point, Maggie. I do not think either one of us is there yet, but if you cannot ever see settling here permanently, then perhaps it might be better for both of us not to pursue this relationship further."
Maggie blinked at the tears in her eyes. Tears that were created by the vulnerability that Joe was showing her by baring his heart to her with his little speech. "I will admit that up until now, I have always described my roots in Brookfield as temporary. There is something about this little town that has called to my soul. Of late, there is something that is calling to my heart," she told him smiling. "If what we have does not work out, I cannot say whether I would stay or go," she admitted. "However, you are reason enough for me to stay right here in Brookfield, Joe. As long as we're together, I can happily call this home, though there are a few places I would really like to see with you someday."
Joe left out the breath he was holding. Retaining his hold on her hand with one of his, Joe reached his other hand out for Maggie's hair with the other. Gently, he ran his fingers through the tresses, answering the question that had distracted him right after her arrival. Her hair was soft and silky like Lissett's hair had been. Leaning in, he caught the now familiar scent of lemon that was always about Maggie. That smell was uniquely Maggie as Lissett had loved baking and had always had a scent of cinnamon and nutmeg about her.
With his fingers still laced in her hair, and his hand resting against the side of her head, Joe leaned in and tenderly pressed his lips against Maggie's. Though he did not apply much pressure, content for now with a light touch, Joe let his lips linger against hers. He allowed himself to really feel the sensation of Maggie's lips against his. Maggie returned the kiss with the same light pressure, knowing that it was Joe's wounded heart that needed to set the pace of their relationship and not her own desires.
When he pulled back, Joe closed his eyes, just letting himself feel all the emotions going through him instead of trying to push them down. Maggie's hand remained in his, this time her second hand covering their clasped hands as she waited patiently for him to gather himself. When he finally did open his eyes, his gaze met Maggie's patient, kind gaze.
"I liked that kiss," Maggie told him. "I hope our future holds more just like it, though know that I will not rush you in this relationship, Joe. We go at the pace that you need to go but I want you to know that I am falling in love with you. I am in this for the long run, though I know I will never replace Lissett in your heart. I do not want to."
"I know I have feelings for you Maggie but I am not ready to even try defining them," Joe said, a regretful tone in his voice.
Maggie smiled at him. "I get it and I am not asking you too. All I am asking is that you allow yourself to feel and enjoy the time we spend together. Do not shut me out and the rest will fall into place when it is meant to."
Joe nodded, "I can do that," he told her. "I actually have a gift for you, Maggie," Joe told her, pulling his hand out of her grasp. Reaching into this pocket, his hand closed around the cameo broach. With his hand still clasped around the broach, hiding it from sight, he pulled his hand out of his pocket. "I bought this earlier, and did not feel comfortable giving it to you. Tonight, it feels right so I want you to have this as a token to the future we are going to explore together."
Opening his palm, Joe held the cameo out to her. Maggie gasped as she saw it, pausing briefly before reaching out for it.
"It's lovely, Joe. Thank you," she said, as she held the broach in her hand and looked down at it, knowing that the man giving it to her did not do so lightly. A gift like this had meaning behind it even if Joe was not ready to define that meaning.
Looking up, Maggie asked, "will you pin it to my dress?"
They both knew she was perfectly capable of putting the broach on herself. However, letting Joe pin the broach on was just one more step in their fledgling relationship.