Hey everyone. Sorry the chapter is late, again. But I've still been sick (chronic illness stuff) I'm hoping it'll soon pass.
I hope to feel better soon... Until then enjoy the chapter and thank you for your understanding. I really appreciate all the comments, kudos and bookmarks I've gotten for this story. They've made me very happy. :)
Bah
Weak. He was weak. He thought he was strong, but...
This sucked... Feelings sucked... Everything sucked and was stupid...
He kept staring up at the ceiling, head nearly empty...trying his upmost to keep it that way; didn't want stupid dumb thoughts in his head. Weird, strange thoughts. Things he didn't even realize were in his head, like her. It was bad enough that he felt this way. Feeling like...whatever this was.
He slept...a lot lately. What was the point being awake, anyway? Didn't have to work to keep his head empty that way.
"Hey Inosuke," came the annoying stupid voice of Gompatcho, "do you want to come with me to Rehabilitation Training?"
'Go away. I don't want to be hu...humi...stupid little girls will make me feel smaller.'
"Please say something," Tongobato was quiet and sounded sad.
'It's fine, just go...I'll just mess up again. Can't even win that stupid cup thing.' He felt the bed shift when Hanchino got up. Finally. It was quiet, other then when he'd huff in his mask. After a few minutes the bed shifted again.
'Now what...'
"So," came an annoying old man voice, "you're just going to lay in bed all day again and not go to your Rehabilitation Training? What will that accomplish?" It was that dumb old man with the stick for a leg, the one that talked to Yambacho yesterday.
"Go away," he gruffly said. His voice was still severely hoarse and it'd hurt to speak past a whisper. He didn't look at the dumb old stupid man, but he could tell he was looking at him hard. He kinda reminded him of that old man from years ago. If it had been a week ago...perhaps he'd had challenged this old guy...he seemed strong for his age. Ah...what was he thinking, he'd probably get his ass kicked... He heard the old man chuckle.
"First time you ever lost a fight, I assume?"
'Fuck off old fart...I just wanna sleep.'
"Now all you're thinking is, 'I'm not good enough, or strong enough'?"
"Go away..." Another chuckle from the old man, making him huff in his mask again.
"It seems like to me," he could feel the bed shift, "that your pride was fatally wounded in that battle more than anything. Look here son," he felt a hand slap his knee, "in life, you're going to come across people and things, that includes demons, who are going to be stronger than you are; that is just facts," for the first time, Inosuke turned his head from the ceiling to look at the old coot, "and even if not, there will be times that you will loose a fight. That is also fact, but the important thing is this; you survived."
"So what."
"So what," the old man coughed his words back at him, "so...you accept your failure but keep going in spite of it. Failures are part of life. If you don't fail, you don't learn. If you don't learn you'll never change. Change is part of life, and what you need to change right now is that attitude of yours," he felt a poke in his side. That irritated him. He didn't feel like getting told what to do...nobody told him what to do. Nobody.
"What then old fart? So you think," he said sitting up slightly, said a little more loud than was comfortable hurting his voice, "I just get up and instantly will myself to FEEL better in my chest and head? Fuck off." He fell back into the bed and looked up at the ceiling. He felt a poke in his side.
"Don't put words in my mouth boy," said the old man, "I didn't say that now, did I? It's true that not everyone can just 'get up and feel better' just like that," the point of pressure on his chest went away, "sometimes it never goes away; but I will say this: you keep laying in bed and you will make yourself sick." Inosuke wanted to say 'Fuck. Off.' but found the words didn't come out of his mouth, instead he just huffed again behind the mask. Now would the old fart leave him alone?
"Then again, I suppose I could be overestimating your capabilities."
'Huh?'
"I mean, not everyone can just easily brush off something so...how should I put this...straightforward...no that's not the word I'm looking for. Hmm...it's tough getting old," the old man was mumbling to himself, not noticing Inosuke sitting up now looking hard at him, "should I really use the word 'effortless' for this? Bah...the point is, I should say I'm—"
"AHH! Shut up you small old coot! I'll show you how easy it is! THIS IS NOTHING," he stood up, a little too quickly hurting his ribs and back but he wasn't going to show this old fart that it hurt, "I'm not afraid of pain! I, the great Inosuke Hashibira, King of the Mountain will conquer the small girl children, and the weird feelings and then old man," he pointed to the old fart who was sitting there oh so smugly, "I will defeat YOU in battle!" He ran off towards the Rehabilitation Training room, joyfully laughing but had to pause when he started coughing up blood; his lungs screaming at him. He had overused his voice, but who cares, he told that old fart who was boss! He was probably still sitting on the bed in awe of his awesomeness! He might be weak now, but he WOULD get stronger, just to prove it to that supid old man!
"He didn't show up again?"
"I'm sorry," Tanjiro said as he bowed, "I'll try harder next time to bring him! I promise!"
"No, forget it," sighed Aoi as she turned and glared at the wall, "if he refuses to come on his own, then we won't waste our time on him! Now lets—" She paused when she could hear thunderous footfalls quickly approaching.
"pigassaultpigassault*cough*cough* Pig Assault! PIG ASSAULT!" Suddenly the doors of the training room burst open and in flew Inosuke, head first. Ramming the doors as if his head was a battering ram.
"Inosuke," yelled out Tanjiro, who was more concerned for his friends well being than the strange display he was witnessing, "stop that! You could have broken your neck!"
"What on earth are you—" Aoi started to protest, but was cut off.
"TRAIN ME," Inosuke hoarsely shouted out as he ran up to the three girls; Sumi, Kiyo and Naho who were all a little shaken from seeing him run up to them so quickly, "TRAIN ME! NOW!"
"What's gotten into you Inosuke," asked Tanjiro who was worried.
"Insanity that's what," mumbled Aoi.
"Stretch my body," he continued to the girls as he picked Kiyo up making her squeak in fear, "make me flexible like before so I can grow stronger! Then I'll have conquered you!"
"Ahh," Kiyo cried and flailed in his arms, "somebody help me! He's gonna drop me!"
"Put her down Inosuke," Tanjiro cried out as he tried to reach up for Kiyo, finally grabbing her from Inosuke's grip and gently put her down, "you really scared her you know!"
"TRAIN ME," he kept yelling out, and Tanjiro noticed that blood was starting to trickle out of the boar mask's nostrils.
"Stop shouting Inosuke! Your throat is still recovering! You're hurting yourself. I'm glad that you are excited about wanting to get stronger and better," he said calmly, like when he would talk to Takeo when he'd lose his temper, "but you need to make sure you don't hurt yourself further. Let's do this together!" Inosuke stared at him for a moment, then whooped in agreement. All Tanjiro could do was sigh with a slight smile. His friend sure did know how to make him tired.
"You just watch Gambatcho, I'm going to get stronger, faster than you will! Then I will beat you," Tanjiro was still wincing when he saw the blood speckling out of the nostrils of the boar head, "just you wait and see!" Inosuke ran over towards the mats and flopped on them (making Tanjiro wince even more doing so) and went spread eagle doing so.
"Now my small female minions, stretch your lord and master so he may protect you!"
"Are you—Is this psychopath serious," Aoi yelled out pointing towards him. Tanjiro smiled with a slight apologetic look on his face.
"Don't take him too seriously," he said, "I think when he says 'minions' I think he means friends. He speaks and does things differently, but he means well." She sighed and shook her head, clearly done with this situation. She was however, enjoying the pained groaning noises coming from Inosuke as the three girls did as they were 'commanded' to do. She turned to Kanao, looking for some sort of support from her; however Kanao simply continued to stand in her spot with the same serene smile on her face. She sighed, why did she always have to get all the hard cases with hardly any help? First that whiny loud demon, now these two.
Tanjiro felt sore and exhausted, but in the good kind of way. He hadn't felt like this since before his father past away. Before that, he hadn't truly known sadness and what being 'truly tired' was...not really. When dad died, then everything changed. He had to step up and become the man of the house, by 'working hard' to earn enough money for everyone to have enough to eat and be happy...he had thought that was hard.
God he wished he could go back to those days, he'd gladly do three day's worth of charcoal work everyday for those happy days again. Inosuke was making strange gurgling noises, forcing Aoi to take him to see Shinobu to make sure he hadn't hurt his throat any worse than it had been. He was sure he had...Inosuke wasn't one to 'be quiet', only Zenitsu could possibly be louder than him. Ah, speaking of which, he should go see his friend...just as soon as he washed off this smelly thick tea. Besides, a warm bath sounded like heaven right about now.
The communal bath area was...something else. 'Luxurious' is probably what Nezuko would have described it when she was human, at least compared to what they were accustomed too. The walls were covered with decorative tiles that had flower and butterfly patterns on them while the floor had what looked like large natural stone floor tiles, warn away from decades of use. It felt very calm inside, and even though it was a communal bath, he was the only one in there. As he washed himself he had time to reflect on...events. He'd nearly lost Nezuko not only to one of the Twelve Demon Moons...but to one of the Hashiras. It left him feeling conflicted. These people were supposed to be his allies, and yet they nearly killed his only family left in this world without a second thought. If it hadn't been for... He heard the door open; someone else had come in for a bath as well. Ah...it was Mr. Kuwajima. He turned away from him to give the elder some privacy as he washed himself.
"Finished your training for today," the elder asked as he pulled up a bath stool made of hinoki wood.
"Yes," Tanjiro said as he continued to scrub his arms and chest, "it was still difficult but a little better today! My friend Inosuke Hashibira finally came back with renewed vigor," he washed his legs with the washcloth, "I wonder what changed his mind? He was so depressed before."
"Hmm, sometimes people just need to be gently guided in the right direction with the right kind of words," Jigoro said offhandedly, "and sometimes, they just need a good kick in the ass." Tanjiro only smiled at that. He wasn't so sure about that, then again...perhaps Inosuke was the kind of guy that sometimes needed it. He quickly looked over at the elder and noticed how many scars littered his sagging body, each one had it's own story behind it. Some so deeply set in that they had probably gone clear to the bone, others clearly had large gaping chunks of muscle ripped right out of him...especially on his back. They were so old and faded...almost as old as he was, but they were large, as if he had been small when he had received the scars. That's what bothered Tanjiro so badly too...on his back is where the chunks of flesh had been...
"It's strange to stare so intently at an old man, you know," Jigoro said as he raised his arm to scrub underneath it, his side still turned slightly away from Tanjiro. Tanjiro's face flushed hard and fast.
"Forgive me," he said as he spontaneously bowed and bopped his head on the wall of the bathroom, making the elder quietly chuckle, "it was terribly rude of me to stare!"
"Don't worry about it boy," Jigoro said, finally looking over at him, "all scars have a story; naturally everyone is curious about them. You have some yourself; one day you'll tell your own family about them." Tanjiro opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it. Perhaps one day, he'd tell Nezuko about it when she was human again...but he hadn't thought that far ahead. Would he ever have a family of his own, after all this? Perhaps...one day. For now, he only wanted to focus on getting Nezuko human again.
'One goal at a time Tanjiro,' he told himself, 'don't make it complicated.'
"I'm sure you're wondering about my back," Jigoro said as he started to scrub said back, "everyone who first sees it does."
"Only...if you're comfortable about telling the story," Tanjiro said. Jigoro laughed.
"You told me your story so calmly yesterday like it happened to you decades ago," the old man turned to him with understanding eyes, "and yet it happened to you only a few years ago. I don't think anyone is truly comfortable with it ever; it just depends on how much you get use to the pain of it." Tanjiro found himself nodding his head slowly; he would have gritted his teeth, but his broken jaw prevented him from doing so.
"I was only five when my family was nearly wiped out by a group of demons," Jigoro said, still washing himself, only more slowly, "my father who was a Hashira himself, was away on a mission at the time. I lost my mother, aunt and uncles, two brothers and my sister. They had hidden me in a cupboard, but as you can see," he directed with his head, "one of them found me. I was very lucky. The demon who found me was stupid, playing with his food like that. My father's friend who was a lower ranking demon slayer was able to save me and kill the demons...but it cost him his own life in the end. My father was...never really the same after that, was more strict," he raised an imaginary bokken and slicing hard and fast in the air, "and was very harsh and punishment came swift if you didn't follow instructions to the letter...never did strike me on the back though; bothered him too much." Here Jigoro took the water and dumped it over himself, rinsing himself off.
"He died when I was about your age, the day after I passed Final Selection. I think, when he thought I was ready to be out on my own, it was time to go see the rest of his family."
"I'm sorry," Tanjiro said quietly, knowing what Jigoro meant by what he'd said, "I'm sure it still hurts."
"Always will," there was a quiet pause, but then Jigoro slapped his hands together, "enough about this old bag of bones, what about you now? Tell me, what do you plan on doing?"
"Me," Tanjiro said as he rinsed himself off and watched Jigoro walk over towards the bath, sit down and take off his wooden leg; setting it aside and sink into the bath water, "well...I'm not sure. For now, I'm just focusing on getting my sister and Zenitsu back to human."
"Oh? And how do you plan on doing that, exactly," Jigoro said with a curious air in his voice.
"I...I'd rather not say sir," Tanjiro said as he sank into the bath water, "please forgive me, but the people I'm working with would rather be kept in the dark."
"Fair enough," Jigoro said as he sat back in the bath and sank slightly, "I do appreciate you helping Zenitsu, and being his friend. He always struggled in finding one, a friend I mean. He has such a...unique and extreme personality that most people always found him off putting."
"How so," asked Tanjiro, making Jigoro give him a raised eyebrow look.
"You really have to ask," the old man asked, seeing that the boy was being very sincere in his question, "Zenitsu, as I'm sure you've noticed is very...easily attached...to people. When he was human, he would throw himself to every girl he'd come across, begging for marriage...in many cases it was embarrassing. I'm sure there's some sort of reason behind...that..." Jigoro was rubbing his temples in irritation from the memories, "but he really is a good kid at heart."
"I know," Tanjiro said with a smile, but then it was replaced with a frown, "I just wish that the Hashiras could understand that. The one with all those scars," he gritted his teeth, making his jaw hurt, "stabbed Nezuko several times even though she's never hurt anyone, and Shinobu has Zenitsu chained and locked up in that room, all because of what happened on the mountain."
"Oh," asked Jigoro with peaked curiosity, "so tell me what exactly happened that has everyone's undergarments in a twist?" Tanjiro told the story of Natagumo Mountain from both his and Inosuke's point of view, and of course Zenitsu's since he wasn't sure if Mr. Kuwajima knew everything or not. He hoped that Zenitsu wouldn't be terribly upset with him for telling his story, but as he told it, Mr. Kuwajima smelled calm, like he already knew most of it. Only when he told his own story with the Twelve Moon Demon is when he could smell slight adrenaline from him, To be fair, perhaps the bath water and smell of soaps was messing with his nose, so he shouldn't be judging so harshly. Then when Tanjiro told the story of when Zenitsu encountered the second demon is when Jigoro's smell changed drastically.
"I see," Jigoro said sounding serious and a bit sad, "well, I'll have a talk with him. I do have an idea what happened though." Tanjiro was extremely curious as to what he could mean by that, but he knew better than to ask about it so he stayed quiet. If Mr. Kuwajima felt like sharing any details, then he would.
"You seem troubled young man," Jigoro said looking hard at Tanjiro, "care to tell an old man your troubles?"
"Well," Tanjiro started, lazily splashing the water with a flick of his wrist deciding to trust Jigoro with his thoughts, "I'm troubled about the Hashiras."
"Oh? How so?"
"Well, it's hard to explain," Tanjiro said, not sure if Jigoro will fully understand, "I mean, I understand that killing demons is part of the job, but they treat every demon as if they were never human in the first place. They're so...cold, when it comes to them; and how they've been treating Nezuko and Zenitsu is making me upset. I want to talk with Ms. Kocho about some things," he said looking at Jigoro, "but I'm not sure if she'll listen to me."
"Most likely not," Jigoro said, "If it's about what I think it is. Do you want my advice on it," he gave Tanjiro a look that told him that he was most likely not going to like what he had to say in the matter.
"Yes," Tanjiro said, "I'd like to hear it."
"Leave it alone," Jigoro said, "I know you might think it cruel, but in the end it's for the best. You might cause more trouble and pain if you try to put a stop to it."
"I'm sorry, but I can't," Tanjiro said, "I can't sit by and let someone suffer like that." Jigoro sighed, kids these days were so stubborn. He went to say something else, but the kid stood up and it seemed he was getting ready to leave.
'Ah, he's frustrated and is starting to block me out,' Jigoro thought to himself.
"Thank you for your advice sir," Tanjiro said politely, "but I think I'll try it my way first."
"Very well," Jigoro sighed out, knowing how it would most likely end, "but try to be rational about doing it," was the last Jigoro had to say in the matter.
Inosuke was sitting in bed. He had just come back from Shambownew's office; she had just made him drink some nasty tea to "help" his throat and voice. She had stern-talked him about raising his voice past an "acceptable" level; "you could permanently damage your voice" she said...bah who cares! She was saying bad things about one of his minions! Not directly to his face, but he had heard things. He was the boss, it was his job to make sure his minions were taken care of...not that he had been exactly doing a good job of it lately. He had other things on his mind dammit! Gombatcho had been making sure to watch Benatsu. He had even put Mesmuco in his room...interesting. That was fine, he was looking forward to having more minions! However, now he had other things on his mind.
There was a red hand mirror on the nightstand that one of the small girls had brought over to him when they noticed that he had been looking hard at himself in a reflection in the tea during training. He picked it up and looked hard at his features. He'd never paid much attention to his own looks in the past before and to be honest, he didn't care now, but when he almost died to that demon in the woods and had that weird...whatever it was...and that woman...
Why did she look so much like himself? It was damn strange. Even her eyes looked so much like his. It was...what was that one word...eerie? That seemed to describe it well enough. Could she...have been his mom? He'd never given much thought about her. Figured that he was abandoned in the woods and the boars were his true family, and that old man. That's why when his boar mother died, he made her hide into the mask, so she'd always be with him. Now though...he couldn't help but to think about his human mother. What really happened? A noise broke his train of thought and he looked up to see Tanjiro had returned from the baths. He could tell that Cambatcho had something on his mind, but wasn't going to say anything yet. That was fine, he looked back down at the mirror, trying to solve his own problem.
"Hi Inosuke," Tanjiro said as he looked over at him, "does your throat feel better after seeing Shinobu?" Inosuke seemed to not have heard him; his eyes were quickly darting around looking hard at the mirror. He wasn't sure why he was so focused on his face, there wasn't anything on it. He was about to ask about it when there was another sound down the hall that broke his concentration. He turned to see a new person he'd never had seen before coming down the hall. The man was scowling; he seemed to have a lot on his mind. Clearly he was a fellow demon slayer; wearing his uniform underneath a black kimono with a large blue obi. The other items that caught his eye was the numerous golden magatama jewelry that he was wearing.
"Hello," said Tanjiro politely; not as brightly as he would liked to have as he was tired and didn't want it to sound forced, "are you here for a rest after a mission, or getting a checkup?" The man looked over at him and scowled, then chuckled scornfully.
"Please," he said, "as if I've ever been hurt on a mission. Only the inexperienced and poorly trained slayers get hurt."
"Wow, you've never been hurt? That's amazing!" Tanjiro said with a smile. The man was being a little boastful, but he wasn't lying about it, he could tell by the smell. He also noticed how the man smirked slightly at his small praise, but he wasn't one to point things out like that, so he was going to let it go. He also noticed that Inosuke was eyeing him with a stern look. It was unusual for him to be so still; he normally would challenge anyone to a fight but for some odd reason he was being so...quiet.
"You must be very good to not have ever been hurt while on missions," Tanjiro said, "we just came back from a bad one. We were part of the Natagumo Mountain mission."
"Ah, I heard about it," the man nodded, "I was called to it, but I didn't go. I had heard rumors about that mountain and known it would have been suicide to go." Tanjiro raised an eyebrow at that. He was about to say something when he heard Inosuke chuckle and mumble something about 'pansies'...why was he talking about flowers? The stranger apparently had heard him too and looked offended for some odd reason. Tanjiro wanted to deescalate the situation so he quickly spoke up:
"My name is Tanjiro Kamado" he said a little loudly, then he pointed towards Inosuke, "and my friend is Inosuke Hashibira. What's your name?" The man looked at him for a moment, then rolled his eyes as he turned away. Even though he was being a little rude, Tanjiro wanted to give him a chance. After all, he gave Inosuke a chance, and now he's one of his best friends!
"Kaigaku."
"Kaigaku..." asked Tanjiro, waiting for a last name.
"Is all you need to know," Kaigaku replied bluntly looking at him. Tanjiro nodded, he clearly stepped on some toes with that. He smelled deep irritation when he asked for a last name...maybe he didn't know himself. How insensitive of him.
"So Kaigaku," Tanjiro asked, wishing to continue the conversation, "if you're not here to get treated for any injuries then why are you here?" An annoyed look crossed over Kaigaku's face.
"I came to see something." Tanjiro was slowly putting two and two together, and then he realized who this was.
"Oh! You're that Kaigaku," in turn Kaigaku gave him a strange look, "the one that trained under Jigoro Kuwajima? Zenitsu talked about you! So you came to see him! That's really nice of—"
"Please," Kaigaku said with a scoff, "I didn't do it out of kindness. I just wanted to see how the little twerp managed to survive up to this point. I don't know how he convinced the Hashiras and Ubuyashiki-sama to let him live...stupid bastard always had luck on his side." Here Tanjiro's good nature fell flat, he always wondered why Zenitsu never really wanted to speak about Kaigaku, perhaps this is why. Even Inosuke was irritated. So much so that it caught Kaigaku's eye.
"You got something to say to me, pretty boy?"
"Yeah I do," said Inosuke, his voice was even worse from before but it didn't stop him from speaking, "you sure like to boast that you've never been hurt while in the Demon Corps...cuz ya gotta fight in order to get hurt!" Kaigaku's eyes narrowed at that remark.
"I'm sorry, what did you say," he asked, "I think I misunderstood you."
"Nothin' to misunderstand," said Inosuke, "I said you're a wimp who avoids fights. When a real threat comes along, you're not gonna know what the fuck to do but roll over and piss on yourself!" Tanjiro never liked it whenever Inosuke used profanity like that, and he also didn't like how he was provoking the situation. He could smell something happening between these two, he just didn't understand what.
"Ha! Please," said Kaigaku as he had his full attention on Inosuke, "Like I'm gonna fall for some low level insults like that. Only fools and idiots like yourself get riled up by such, lowbrow and...simple words such as those." Now...Inosuke was use in having people calling him stupid. Hell, Zenitsu basically used it as his name, but it wasn't the same coming from this guy. Whenever Zenitsu called him stupid...it didn't feel like a true insult. Inosuke could tell when someone meant something or not...and this asshole meant every word that came out of his mouth; it made him feel pissed. He was about to get up at teach this fucker a lesson but then he felt Tambasko put his hand on his shoulder. He looked up at him, and he could also feel that he was annoyed too.
"So you two tolerated that whiny wimp long enough to make him think that you're his friends for him to talk about me then?"
"We are his friends," Tanjiro said in not so friendly of a voice. Kaigaku laughed at that.
"Well then," he said with enjoyment in his eyes, "that's a first! Most people who pretend to be his friend drop him past the first week because he's so obnoxious. You know, there's another demon in his room," he said pointing towards the room with his thumb, "a female one? That surprised me, yet didn't at the same time. Probably an experiment going on by that Hashira, seeing if demons can breed or something." Here all of Tanjiro's hospitality and good nature was gone.
"I think you should leave now," Tanjiro said quietly.
"Ah, did I hit a nerve? Shouldn't have. It's not like you'd know anything about how disgustingly clingy he is, especially with girls. Probably has mommy issues because the loser was abandoned when he was—" Kaigaku never got to finish because Inosuke jumped on top of him so fast that neither Tanjiro or Kaigaku had time to react. Before Tanjiro could even reach them to even attempt to pull him off, Inosuke had already landed five heavy blows to Kaigaku's face, breaking one of his orbital ridges in the process. What was scary to Tanjiro about the attack was how stone-faced and quiet Inosuke was during the attack, he didn't say one word or make any sounds during it. His smell was nothing but pure rage though; this was something more than just defending Zenitsu. Eventually he was able to pry Inosuke off, with the help with a well placed kick from Kaigaku. Kaigaku stood up as best as he could, not bleeding but his face was beginning to swell from the blows.
"I think you should go now," was all Tanjiro said as he had to keep Inosuke pulled back. Kaigaku scowled at the two, but his pride had been wounded enough so he simply left. Tanjiro noticed that he had walked towards where the clinic was...that was good, he wasn't a total idiot then.
"Why did you do that," asked Tanjiro to Inosuke.
"Why did you stop me," he grumbled back.
"He wasn't worth it," Tanjiro replied.
"He's an ass."
"Still not a good enough reason," said Tanjiro putting him back into bed, "look I've got to go see Shinobu about something important alright? Can you behave yourself until then?" Inosuke grunted in reply. He patted Inosuke's shoulder and left the room going towards Shinobu's office, and he noticed that Inosuke grabbed the mirror again and started to look at his face again. He made a mental note to ask about that later, perhaps it tied in why he was so upset with Kaigaku's comment.
Tanjiro knocked on the door, but no reply came. He waited for a moment, then sniffed the air. She wasn't in the office. He thought about going back when he could hear someone approaching, and was relieved to see it was Shinobu coming.
"Do you need me Kamado," she asked in her usual pleasant tone, but her face betrayed that she was slightly irritated.
"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about something important," he said, "you seem...a little upset?"
"Yes," she said her smile looked a little crooked, "could you and especially your friend refrain from attacking others? I don't like having to patch up corps members from injuries by other members."
"I'm sorry," Tanjiro said while bowing towards her, "I apologize for his behavior. I'll make sure that he apologizes for it."
"Don't worry about it," she said as she opened the door, "the person in question has already left the estate."
"Oh," Tanjiro said a little worried about Kaigaku, "I hope he's not going to a mission after that. He'll be in pain, and that'll be distracting." Shinobu's eyes softened at Tanjiro's worry for that obnoxious slayer.
"You have a beautiful soul, don't you," she said to him, making him blush and flinch slightly, "Come in and we'll talk about what you want to." They entered the room and went to her desk and sat in the chairs, facing eachother.
"So Kamado," she said folding her hands in her lap, "what is it that you'd like to talk to me about so late in the evening?" She tilted her head and smiled, but her body language indicated that she already knew what he was going to talk about.
"I wanted to talk about Zenitsu and about the other demon."
"By other demon," she said with a smile, "I'm sure you're not talking about your sister." Tanjiro wasn't sure if she was joking or not.
"Uh...no I was talking about,"
"I know what you were talking about Kamado," she said with a chuckle, "and I know what you're going to ask."
"Then can we," he asked with hope in his voice, "can we end his suffering as peacefully as we possibly could?" She smiled at him, like he was a small child asking a silly question.
"The answer is no," she said it as if that was the end of the conversation. Not by a long shot if he had anything to say about it.
"Why not," he asked politely, trying to stay civil about it, "I'd like to know the reason as to why. I'd like to think there's a better reason for it than just because you just want him to suffer for some unknown reason. I mean, I know you're always angry," here her smile vanished and she looked shocked, "even though you're always smiling. I can smell a constant angry scent wafting off of you but I don't know why." Shinobu was quiet for a moment, then seemed to relax her shoulders a bit. Her smile didn't return as she started talking.
"Yes. Yes you're right. It might be true that I'm in a constant state of anger. Ever since my beloved big sister Kanae was ruthlessly slaughtered by a demon; every time I see the tears of those who've lost their loved ones to a demon, hear the cries of despair...the anger keeps building up inside and continues to swell." She looked so solemn yet sad that he didn't dare interrupt.
"Deep down in the innermost depths of my body," she continued, "there's a revulsion that I can't fight. I'm sure the other Hashiras feel something similar as well...but perhaps not like mine. But for the first time with their own eyes, they witnessed a demon, your sister Nezuko refuse to devour a human and who has never done so in the first place to begin with. I suppose the same goes for your friend...but," she glanced over towards him, "it's a little harder to respect his nature than your sisters. Out of respect of the Master's wishes, I don't think anyone will raise their hand to her...but for him...well, time will tell." That only raised more questions for Tanjiro, but he felt she had more to tell him so he remained quiet.
"My sister Kanae was a kind-hearted person like you. She had deep sympathy for demons; even when she was on the brink of death, she still felt pity for them. I still can't bring myself to feel that way. How can you feel sorry for something that's killed humans? I've never heard of anything so absurd...but that's how my sister truly felt; I feel it's my duty to carry it on. If there's a way to not kill these pitiful demons, I have to keep trying to come up with it. Without extinguishing the smile that my sister said that she loved. It's...exhausting though. All demons do is lie; losing all reason in self-preservation. They murder humans with their instincts laid totally bare. Perhaps you may think I'm a bit jaded, well...I am," she looked up at him, "I've seen so many people tricked by demons, and even by themselves. All it takes is for a moment of trust, a window of opportunity and that's when a clever demon will strike. It's how my sister was killed...I won't ever let my guard down by a demon. I am assured by how you're working so hard for your sister, but never let your guard down either." Tanjiro was awed by her speech. He figured she was carrying a heavy burden, but not that heavy of one.
"I'm sorry about all that," he said quietly, "but...that didn't answer my question." Shinobu had a small smile creep back onto her lips.
"No...no it did not, didn't it," she looked back up at him, "I was slightly hoping you'd have dropped the matter, but you seem dead set on it, aren't you?" Tanjiro only nodded in reply with a stern look on his face.
"Very well then," she said, "It's not happening because It's for the safety of all the humans in the estate. It keeps the blond one complacent and manageable."
" 'Complacent'," Tanjiro repeated a little offended, " 'Manageable'?"
"Yes," she said, "and also...if you want to get picky about it as well...it's just simply cheaper. We inquired for an invoice from the Wisteria Crest House you three stayed at. Ubuyashiki-sama felt bad enough to give her a compensation for the living expenses, and that's never happened before. It is in the nature of his kind of demon after all," Shinobu said with a glint in her eyes, "so it's just better for all of us to keep him in a constant state of being sated. I know you of all people don't understand or even dare I say, think it barbaric on the method," she said standing up, "but this is really for the best, for all parties involved," she was giving him a hard look.
"You're not even—," Tanjiro started.
"This discussion is over," she said turning her back on him, "now go back to bed and get some rest. You'll need it to continue your training, especially for your new breathing technique. Good night."
"But," Tanjiro tried again.
"Good night," Shinobu repeated again, a little harsher this time. By her face and smell, he could tell that she was completely done with the conversation. It was irritating to him how she just...dismissed everything like that. Her own hatred aside, no matter how justified it was, it didn't excuse what she was doing in his mind. He wished her a good night as well and turned away to leave; as he did he noticed something sitting on the counter. He made a mental note of it as he waked out of the room. He made his way back towards his bed and was forming a plan of his own. He was hoping to have permission and help from Ms. Kocho but he was still planning on continuing without her blessing or not, all he had to do now was gather the needed materials and wait until morning.
The nights' events had been...interesting to say the least. After Kaigaku had left the room, the tension that was in the air had instantly washed away. Zenitsu deeply sighed in relief; thankful that nothing had happened. He turned towards Nezuko who seemed to be more calm, sleepy even, but he was looking at her like she was a goddess.
"Nezuko, you came out to defend me," he said as if what she did was the most amazing thing he'd ever seen, "you're the most wonderful and cutest...um...where are you going?" He noticed that she was ignoring him and had moved towards the bed.
"Uh, wait that's my...ummm," he didn't quite know what to do when he saw Nezuko crawl into his bed and put the blanket over herself, "but Nezuko...where am I—" Then it suddenly clicked in his brain: he had a girl...who went willingly and unprovoked into his bed. He started nervously chuckling while blushing. Well...if it was her decision then who was he to...and...then he noticed she was asleep.
...Oh.
"Um...never mind," he said as he sat down on the ground and curled up, "I'll just sleep here then." It wasn't the most comfortable place he'd ever slept, but not the worst either. It took much much longer than what it took Nezuko to fall asleep but soon enough he too was asleep. The next thing he knew was a calloused hand gently slapping the side of his face while another one was rocking his shoulder.
"Zenitsu," Tanjiro was trying to wake him up as gently as he could, "wake up." He was slightly confused why he was sleeping on the ground and Nezuko was sleeping soundly in his bed, but he was glad that he'd been true to his word. He didn't smell any lingering...sexual smells off of either of them (it was always awkward when he could smell it on people, especially when he first found out what that was and what it meant) so he knew nothing happened last night. Good.
"Zeni—"
"NOTHING HAPPENED!" Zenitsu suddenly shouted, scaring Tanjiro. Zenitsu was looking at Tanjiro like he was going to strangle him.
"Calm down Zenitsu," he said trying to hush him, "it's very early morning, it's not quite dawn yet. Please be quiet." Zenitsu tried to calmed down. It wasn't his fault that he thought that Tanjiro was going to kill him because he thought he had fooled around with Nezuko last night...he totally didn't! Tanjiro stood up and started to wake Nezuko.
"Nezuko," Tanjiro said waking her up, "I'm sorry to wake you up, but I need you to go back into your box. Zenitsu and I need to have some privacy." Zenitsu didn't understand the undertones of that, but Nezuko hummed that sounded like a whine, but she crawled off the bed and crept back into her box, but she seemed curious about what was happening and she never did fully close the door of the box opting stealthily to peek out of it.
"Um...so what do you mean by 'privacy', Tanjiro," asked Zenitsu. He finally noticed how somber he looked.
"Did you get any sleep Tanjiro," he asked.
"No, not really," he answered, "had too much on my mind." Zenitsu was about to ask some more questions when he noticed the items that Tanjiro had brought with him. The first one was his Nichirin Blade.
"Tanjiro," Zenitsu asked, "why do you have my sword? Where did you even get it from? I thought they'd locked it up."
"Ah...they did," Tanjiro said with a small smile, "but after asking around I found out where they kept the swords of all the swordsmen on the estate, so...I kinda snuck in and took yours. I figured you wouldn't mind."
"Well, yeah but," Zenitsu said as he picked it up and looked at it, "why would you need it?" Then he looked over at the other item, the one that was weird: a large enamel lidded chamber pot. He was about to ask why on earth he'd have such an item with him but then Tanjiro opened the pot and pulled another item from it, one that made his breath hitch: a scalpel.
"Why...do you have that Tanjiro," Zenitsu asked as he subconsciously scooted away from him. Tanjiro looked at the scalpel and frowned at it, then looked up at Zenitsu and attempted to give him a reassuring smile, but it didn't work.
"I borrowed it from Shinobu's office," he said as he looked it over, "don't worry it's clean! I figured the sword would be too cumbersome to use."
"But why," Zenitsu asked as he grabbed the pillow off the bed and started hugging it in fear, "why do you need such a scary thing? And 'use' for what?" Tanjiro sighed, and gave him such a tired look. Did he really need him to say it? It wasn't like Zenitsu didn't know what exactly was going on, he just didn't like how...calm Tanjiro looked about it, like he had already gave it a lot of thought and was fully committed to the idea.
"Zenitsu," Tanjiro sighed out, "you know it needs to happen. It's just too cruel what's happening to him. This is the only way we can—"
"What are you talking about," Zenitsu said, his voice raising a bit making Tanjiro try to shush him again, "How can you be so casual about GUTTING me! I thought we were friends!"
"We are," Tanjiro said as he reached back into the pot and pulled out some sort of bottle and cotton swabs, "look, I took this as well," he handed the bottle over; he read the label 'Benzocaine', "see? I don't want you to hurt so I took this to put on your skin, to numb it. So you wont feel as much." Zenitsu glared at the bottle, then up at Tanjiro who was looking at him with pleading eyes.
"I don't know," Zenitsu said putting down the bottle, "I just don't like the idea of it."
"I know you're scared," Tanjiro said, "but don't you want to give him peace?" Zenitsu couldn't meet his eyes. He looked away and clutched the pillow all the tighter. He started to hear the sound he didn't want to hear: the quiet sound of disappointment coming off of Tanjiro. Finally he did look up and winced when he saw the same look in his eyes that Gramp's would get whenever he'd try to run away from training.
"Don't tell me," Tanjiro said with wilting hope in his voice, "that you really don't want to do this?" Zenitsu frowned hard and looked away, now he could really hear the sound of disappointment pour out of him.
"You don't know how it feels Tanjiro," he said quietly, "how much it really hurts. Even though I never meant for it to happened, and I do, I really do feel bad about it but," he said looking at him, "it's the first time in months that I haven't felt that empty pain. Please don't hate me," he said quietly, "I just don't want the good feeling to stop." He could feel the tears pooling at the corners of his eyes, knowing he probably just lost his best friend with his selfish desire and reluctance to follow through with what shouldn't even be second guessed. He suddenly felt Tanjiro pull him into a tight hug. It was a bit of a shock, he wasn't expecting that from Tanjiro's sound and look on his face.
"I'm sorry," Tanjiro said as the hug got a little tighter, "I know it's been hard for you," he broke the hug and looked at Zenitsu with a gentle gaze, "but I just can't sit by any longer and let someone suffer like this. Can you bear it with me?" Zenitsu sighed, there wasn't any way out of this, was there? In all good reality, Tanjiro was in the right, he knew that...but that didn't make him any less scared of how it was supposed to happen.
"O-Okay Tanjiro," he said with a bit of a waiver in his voice, "I'll do it...only because you really want it to happen so bad. But—" His voice quietly died in his voice when he saw the bittersweet joy in Tanjiro's face. He reached over for the bottle of Benzocaine and the cotton swabs.
"I need you to unbutton your nightshirt," Tanjiro said as he soaked the swab with the liquid, "I'm going to prep you."
"Uh..." his hands were still wrapped around the pillow, and for some reason he was frozen. He really did want to go through with this, but he was still scared. He felt Tanjiro take the pillow away and unbutton his nightshirt. As he felt Tanjiro wipe the cold Benzocaine on his skin, it suddenly started to get very real what was going to happen and he started to panic.
"Um, wait Tanjiro," he said as he gripped his wrist to stop him from wiping any more liquid on him, "do we really have to do this?! M-Maybe we can do something else? Maybe I can...I don't know, throw it up?" Tanjiro deadpanned and poked him.
"I doubt it at this point."
"S-Shut up," Zenitsu said pushing him, "I can't help that! I'm the one that's throwing out options here! Don't be so eager to stab me!" Zenitsu instantly regretted his choice of words, as soon as he said it, Tanjiro's face fell and he looked slightly sick.
"Hey, um...I'm sorry for saying that. I'm just...scared."
"...Me too," Tanjiro said quietly. There was a moment of quiet. Then to end it, Tanjiro decided to tell him the plan.
"Look, here's what's going to happen: Once the Benzocaine numbs your skin, I'll put the bedpan in front here," he moved it in place as he said it, "and then I'll quickly make a vertical cut from here to here," he made a line with his finger, it didn't make Zenitsu feel any better knowing how big the cut was going to be, "and once it's out and in the pan; I'll quickly kill the demon with the sword. It'll be quick and easy."
"Easy for you to say," mumbled Zenitsu as he looked away. Zenitsu was aware that Tanjiro was putting more Benzocaine on him, making him look down. His skin was already kinda numb from the first application, but he supposed Tanjiro wanted to make sure it was completely numb. He was getting so nervous that it felt like he had butterflies in his stomach, then again he had that same feeling ever since that night...and it was only getting more active. Did...did the demon actually know what was going on? Well that only made him feel all the worse.
"Alright," said Tanjiro as he grabbed the scalpel, "I'm going to—"
"NO! WAIT," Zenitsu said as he leaned forward and buried his face into the crook of Tanjiro's neck wrapping his arms around him, "I can't do it! I'm sorry, I'm scared! Can't we do something else? Like poison or something?" Tanjiro patted his back with his free hand; thinking of a way to distract him, then his eye caught the open box of Nezuko's, who was looking out through the open crack of the door.
"Oh, Nezuko," was all Tanjiro said. Zenitsu lifted his head away from Tanjiro.
"Nezuko?" He looked around to look at the box, but as soon as he saw that she wasn't out of the box he felt something poke him and quickly move down; then it felt like something dropped in his stomach, like when he first rode an elevator but thirty times worse...then it felt cold...in the worst way possible. He gasped and fell backwards, looking down. Thankfully for his own sanity, the gaping wound was already healing, but it was still frightening to see the inside of himself, even briefly. It was also strange to feel full, then suddenly feel so empty.
"What-the-hell-Tanjiro," he said as he rubbed the previously cut area, "you could have warned me?! You even used your sister to distract me, you bastard! I—" He stopped when he saw Tanjiro. He had his sword in hand, clearly ready to finish what he had started but his face was looking down, twisted in pitying, disgusted confusion. Zenitsu was curious and looked down at what he was looking at...and wished he never did.
Inside the pot...was the most godawful thing he'd ever seen. There was a large...lump. It was the nicest way of putting it. The red lump was twitching and it even looked like it was breathing...somehow; purple and blue veins were pulsating. There were white speckles of...something in random places over it, but when Zenitsu looked closer at it, he realized the white specks were teeth; teeth and bones. He looked up at Tanjiro. Tanjiro seemed at a loss at what to do. This thing didn't have a head, so how was he going to behead something that didn't have a head? His plan went out the window as soon as he saw it. The thing suddenly started to twitch and there was a squishy-ripping sound that made both of them flinch. Suddenly there was a half-formed eye with bits of hair growing out of the sides of it shifting between the two of them. There was another ripping sound; then there was a hole with more broken teeth and bones and hair above the eye...that's when the screaming started. Loud, high pitched gurgling screeching came from the bean-shaped lump. It was surprising how loud something that small could be.
"Make it stop Tanjiro," Zenitsu said as he covered his ears, "hurry and kill it!"
"I-I," Tanjiro stuttered as he looked down at the screaming lump, "I don't know how. I don't know where the neck is!" It was true, it was just a lump...a bean-shaped lump. Tanjiro didn't want to just hack away at it and cause it more pain. But hesitating was only giving it more time to scream and scream.
"Do something," Zenitsu said, "you're the one that wanted to do this!" That was a verbal punch to the gut to Tanjiro, he was right; this was his idea and fault so he needed to follow through and finish the job. But how? The screaming was giving him a headache and making him panic...if he couldn't kill it with the sword...then...
"I'll take him outside and let the sun finish him off," Tanjiro said. It wasn't what he had wanted to do, but there wasn't any other option. Was the sun even up yet? He hoped it was, even the faintest of rays would be enough. Suddenly the bedroom door burst open, and both boys looked up to see several Kakushi's with Nichirin Blades. They had their eyes focused on Zenitsu at first, then when the lump started screeching again, their eyes fell on it and their eyes bugged. Then someone that neither one of them wanted to see walked in the room, her smile truly looked forced when she came into the room; then she looked down at the red bean of a former demon.
"My my," she said as she looked down at the lump, "now what did I tell you Kamado," she said as she took the lid of the pan and covered it; picking it up with her as she stood back up. Tanjiro seemed to get out of his daze and stood up and tried to take the pot from her.
"Wait," he said, but was stopped by a Kakushi, "we need to put him out of his misery!"
"Please take Kamado back to his bed," Shinobu said to the Kakushi, "I believe you may have to tie him down to his bed at this point."
"Yes ma'am," said a Kakushi as they grabbed Tanjiro and picked him up.
"No," Tanjiro cried out as he struggled in the grip of the Kakushi as they dragged him away, "please! We need to put him out of his—" his voice faded as the Kakushi took him away. Zenitsu was still curled up in his spot, not sure what would happen if he tried to do anything. All the Nichirin swords was making him nervous. He did notice that the screaming did seem to quiet down, and Shinobu had to use both thumbs to keep the lid on the pot...was...was the demon getting bigger now?
"You two have been very naughty," Shinobu said to him, he looked up at her, "but what's been done has been done. I'll just have to clean up both of your mess now," she sighed out, taking another peak at the demon and her brow furrowed.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll take care of this," she gave a hard look at him, "but I don't think you truly understand what your friend has really done. I really don't have time to babysit two demons, and now you've sped up my timetable."
"What do you mean," he asked. However she never did answer him, but looked over her shoulder and gave him a bright, fake smile that made him whimper at the double meaning of it. He could clearly hear how mad she had been at Tanjiro...and he had a feeling she was going to take it out on him.
The 'lump' is based off of Teratoma tumors. They can have eyes, teeth, organs, muscles, bones and hair in them. If you're feeling brave...look them up...If you're squeamish I don't recommend it though.