Dodge-Link Returns

…

Link had gone to sleep one night after a tough day of re-cataloguing and organizing spare parts in the hold. When he woke up, he realized that he was standing.

Well, maybe that was not quite right. The details were not very clear to him due his exhaustion. But as he slowly woke up, he was aware that someone was staring at him. It was one of his fellow airmen. No, it was a few of his fellow airmen. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes so he could identify who they were.

"G'morning, Link," the airman directly in his face said. Link managed to clear his head enough to realize he was looking at Airman Awan. And he had a grin on his face. "Sleep well?"

Link's eyes grew wide. He knew exactly what was going on. His fellow airmen were finally tired of him for whatever reason (he was still too tired to think of even one) and decided they would finished what they tried to do two years ago.

They were finally going to shoot him out of a cannon!

Link was aware that he was tied up and started struggling against the ropes binding his arms to his sides. "Look, guys, we can talk about this, right!?" he hollered.

"Nothing personal, Link," Awan told him. "We just got a score to settle. And since the captain's sleeping, we've got all the time we need to settle this." He turned his head to the airman to his left and asked, "How long?"

"Eight minutes sounds fair," the other airman replied as he looked at a pocketwatch. "Just as long as we don't wake up the captain."

Awan grabbed the ropes holding Link and pulled him toward the stern. As he pulled, Link began rising from the deck. That was when he realized he was not standing; he was hanging! He looked around to find that they were not going to stuff him into a cannon. It was worse than that.

They were reviving the forgotten game of Dodge-Link.

Awan's hands moved to grip Link by his bare feet. "Wake him!" he shouted.

Link was turned enough to see the circle of airmen that was necessary for gameplay. One airman had walked to the middle of the circle with a bucket and threw water on the figure slumped on the deck. "Bah! Blweah!" Line spat as he sat up. "Ah-wah! What the hell!?"

"Biggs!" Awan shouted.

Then he heaved and shoved Link as hard as he could across the deck. "LIIIIIIIIIIIINE!" Link hollered.

"Yikes!" Line shouted before ducking against the deck to avoid Link. Link swung past and was intercepted by another airman.

"Come on, guys, knock it off!" Link shouted as he tried to kick. Unfortunately, they had bound his feet together to make sure he could not do that, so he squirmed and tried to release himself from the airman's grip.

The airman released, but with a hard enough swing to one side of the circle. Link's foot clocked an unsuspecting airman chatting with his buddy, unaware of Link's approach because only someone who wanted an extra point called the name of his target. Link swung away from the circle only to be caught at the apex of another swing.

"Come on!" Link cried. "Someone's gonna ge—DAAAAAAAAH!" Link was thrown again. "Ghof!"

"Bwa-gah!" Thump. Line hit the deck hard when Link slammed into him. "Owww…"

"You okay, Line?" Link asked.

"Yeah," Line said as he slowly returned to his feet. "Wha… what's going on? I was just sleeping."

"So was I."

Both of them panicked at the sight of an airman running at them from opposite sides. "Watch out!" they shouted at each other, Line pointing to the airman Link could not see approaching from behind. Line dove to one side, leaving Link to take the force of one airman shoving him hard enough to knock the airman behind him to the deck. Then this airman grabbed Link's ropes and pulled him back to the edge of the circle.

As the game continued, Link realized that the airmen had divided themselves into two teams, apparent from the openings in the circle which opponents would slug each other across if they strayed too close. Link had no idea what divided the teams, which made him wonder if they even knew themselves. Scores were hollered every time Link struck someone, although they had yet to hit Line again now that he knew what the game was. Line was not allowed to escape. Each run for an opening in the circle earned him a hard shove to the deck. Link had less of an option, bound quite well to the crane holding him. It had to be a crane because the Grand Sails was supposed to be taking on cargo first thing in the morning, so the ship was docked where the crane could transfer cargo. Link had no idea why the crane was in position to hook him up, but he suspected that someone on the crew had arranged it.

"What the hell are you shit-eating scabs doing!?" Link was suddenly released from an airman's grip and sailed back to the middle of the circle, where Line grabbed and held him to keep him steady. Airmen stepped out of the way to reveal Captain Alfonzo and Lieutenant Luke standing on the deck, Luke holding up a lantern. Alfonzo slowly strode to the middle of the circle, his head swiveling as he took in each airman present. He stopped in front of Line and grabbed the shoulder of his undersuit into one hand. "You got a spare suit, Airman?" the captain asked after releasing him.

"Yes, sir," Line replied between heavy breaths.

"Go change and get back to sleep."

"Aye, sir," Line replied, forgetting to salute before jogging toward the hatch.

Alfonzo did not appear to mind as he spun around, stepping to one side as Luke approached. "I don't know what spawned this supreme show of idiocy, but I will tell you that this game is over! And because you have all the time in the world to sleep, all of you puke sacks will be standing guard around the ship tonight. The watch will end when I wake up later this morning, after which your regular duties will continue as is. And if I ever catch wind of this game being played on my ship again, every one of you will have your final pay nailed to your foreheads! Do I make myself. Clear!?"

"Aye, sir!" the crew replied.

"On watch. Now!" The crew scrambled to take position along the bulwark. Alfonzo turned to Link. "Well, Airman?"

"Captain, this-this wasn't my idea!" Link said. "I-I was just—"

"Take it easy, Link," Alfonzo said. "You're not in trouble."

"Aye, sir. I just woke up like this. Really, Captain. I just finished inventorying our spare parts like Lieutenant Luke ordered. I was too exhausted to do this."

"Okay, I believe you," Alfonzo said. He turned to Luke. "You got your knife on you?"

"Yeah," Luke replied as he stepped behind Link.

"Let's get him down first," Alfonzo said. Link was grateful; the last time this happened, the captain sliced the rope with a sword and let him fall to the deck. This time, Luke and Alfonzo picked him up off the hook and set him on his feet. Then Luke pulled out a knife with a serrated edge and sawed through the thick ropes. "Did you have any duties this morning?"

"Just taking inventory of the cargo, Captain," Link answered, holding an elbow that had been rubbed raw by the ropes.

"I'll take care of it, sir," Luke volunteered.

"Okay," Alfonzo told him. "Go get some sleep, Airman. I want both you and Line in my quarters after you get up."

"Aye, sir," Link said with a tired salute. Alfonzo dismissed the salute.

Then, Link realized that his feet were still tied when he fell to the deck as he turned to walk away.